SPEAKER_07

There it is. Hey. Hey, welcome to the stream, everybody.

SPEAKER_08

I'm excited to be going. How are you? Oh, I'm doing great. Georgie, Benjamin, how are you two doing? Uh I I'm fine. How are how are you? Uh, I'm okay. That's cool. That's cool. I got some cuties, you know, some tangerines. Mandarins? Gaming session. I need some gamer fuel to really facilitate my Brendoness. Yeah. Because it takes a lot out of you. Yeah. My Brendo is actually short for Brendanovan. I don't know if I told you guys. Canon.

SPEAKER_03

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_10

Canon. Um, welcome everybody to another uh stream of the Land of Eam, the adventures of uh Brendo and Hooch. We're gonna be playing the Landof Eme RPG. You can download the beta for free at landoveeam.com or drive-through rpg. And uh you'll get this fancy map and some pre-generated characters and quests, and uh you can let us know uh what you think. If you are already playing it, you can uh I got it. I got it. If you're already playing and you're looking for a group or want to GM a game, check out the Discord at the bottom of this link or at Landaveam at the bottom of this video or at landbeam.com.

SPEAKER_08

How does this whole thing uh get funded, you know, if I wanted to contribute to your society?

Recap: Mutant Toads and Close Calls

SPEAKER_10

Uh if you wanted to contribute, we are going to be launching uh uh uh crowdsourcing campaign very shortly, very soon in the next couple of months. Um, and you can sign up for news about that at landaveam.com. Love it.

SPEAKER_06

Yeah, and uh so today is the sixth episode of our second campaign starring Brando and Hooch, these rascals.

SPEAKER_08

Um you guys ventured out into the spill last time. We almost died. We did. It was a uh a deathly experience. You fought a mutant Murgotode.

SPEAKER_06

Mutant Murgotodes. Um you ran away from some sarpathy.

SPEAKER_08

It was a strategic, uh strategic redirection of our efforts. Yeah, we did not run away. Cowards. Okay.

SPEAKER_06

Uh so yeah, tell me what you guys want to do. You guys are talking about going deep into the quagmash to find Harn Twinbeard.

SPEAKER_01

Were you gonna do that now, or are you gonna go back to Bog Town first, or what?

SPEAKER_08

I will say this. Uh, the last note I have for quest five is City Slickers 2, the legend of Charlie's Gold. Code. I don't know what that means. It means nothing. That means absolutely nothing.

SPEAKER_06

Uh uh, you do have the the part that Charlie wanted you to find.

SPEAKER_04

Charlie, Charlie, Charlie.

SPEAKER_01

So you could go and return that to him.

SPEAKER_08

We could.

SPEAKER_01

That's true. Up to you.

SPEAKER_08

I mean, how hosered is our our hit points? Brando's sim minus six out of fourteen. It's not good. I think I was knocked unconscious.

SPEAKER_05

Um yeah.

SPEAKER_10

Yes, we are both unconscious.

SPEAKER_08

Yes. So I think you would roll a d6 plus your level, and that's how much you have. Got it. I'm gonna roll that right now. Roll d6 plus my Larabelle. Aww. Oh, I'm sorry. I feel bad that I rolled a 6. Oh no, you should not feel bad. You're gonna be the meat shield. But I do! It's a d6 plus your level. Yes, yes. Bah room blitz. I just leveled up, so you know what I mean? I do.

SPEAKER_07

Okay, um George, you're only level two.

SPEAKER_08

I haven't leveled.

SPEAKER_07

Do you have like a ton of XP then?

SPEAKER_08

Yeah, I know you're talking about yes, I do. I do I do. I do have a ton of XP.

SPEAKER_10

Okay, I was about to say, like, I just leveled to level four because I haven't I haven't increased any of my skills yet, although I really want to know.

SPEAKER_08

You have been using a lot of your uh flaws and uh ideals in a good way. Yeah.

SPEAKER_06

Um George has spent zero time thinking about this game in between.

SPEAKER_08

Uh I've spent so much time that I I am catatonic. I have analysis paralysis, as they say.

SPEAKER_09

I believe that.

unknown

Yeah.

SPEAKER_08

Yeah. It's the it's uh just that scene with the guy with the numbers. Wow. That being said, that being said, I am I am ready to rise to the occasion as an adventure in the land of eam. Okay. All right, here we go.

SPEAKER_06

Which uh occasion would that be? What what uh what are you guys doing?

SPEAKER_08

I said what go ahead, George. No, no, no, no.

SPEAKER_10

I was I was gonna say I just go on, I think it's it would be cool if we looked for Harn Twinbeard.

SPEAKER_05

Yeah, do we uh uh let's see what we're gonna do.

SPEAKER_10

Just know he's in the quagnash though, so we have no idea. We'd have to go like search him out, actually. Uh yeah, I'm gonna kick it off with a power.

SPEAKER_07

I'm gonna kick it off with a power. I'm gonna use bar fly. Oh wait, you guys that's how we ended it.

Bar Rest, Rumors, and Recovery

SPEAKER_09

Oh, that's right. Oh my gosh, yes.

SPEAKER_07

I that that was all right, we're in a bar.

SPEAKER_10

Um with uh, you know.

SPEAKER_08

What was it called? I don't even remember, but uh soggy jimbos, yeah. Carrots pretzel? Soggy carrot. Oh, what it had carrots on the menu.

SPEAKER_01

I mean he couldn't. Because I was excited about swamp. Hey, friend.

SPEAKER_02

Y'all want some mud carrots or swamp carrots? I think it had swamp carrots.

SPEAKER_08

It had swamp carrots, which was a like it somehow got willed into like yeah, it got willed into existence through the power of random rolling. Yeah, because that was a randomly generated randomly generated swampness. All right, so uh yeah, let's just we can start back up in the bar.

SPEAKER_10

Yeah, I was gonna say uh didn't know.

SPEAKER_08

Remember, we wanted to rest for the night there, and he said we said, Do you have rooms for night? He's like, sure, why not? We get a lot of people out this way anyway.

SPEAKER_02

We asked him if he had free rooms, right? Yeah, we had free rooms, yeah. Sure, why not?

SPEAKER_08

Yeah, it was a sure why not situation, and I love it.

SPEAKER_09

Yeah, so we're both sleeping in a broom closet.

SPEAKER_08

Yeah. Can we, yeah. I I guess could we eat some food for the night, Ben, to recover a little more hit points. Uh food.

SPEAKER_10

I have one ration on me.

SPEAKER_08

I mean, we are at a uh Do you have money? Yeah, that's the question. I I do. But we have I'm gonna tell I tell uh Hooch we only have one copper pouch. It's not true. I say, so we gotta spend this wisely, Hooch. Now, what do you want from the menu?

SPEAKER_10

Uh well, I definitely want some swamp carrots, and I definitely want a shepherd's pie and the pancakes and uh whatever else we got back there.

SPEAKER_08

Uh, how many shepherds pies can we get? I asked the innkeep for this pouch of copper coins.

SPEAKER_06

Well, let's see. He goes uh counting each coin one by one.

SPEAKER_08

We'll make your use of checker. Yeah, we'll make a use of checker. Here we go. Usagi dice check. Sorry. Hey I get I get extra change back. It should be that you get like extra money back if you roll two sixes. Like they give you an inaccurate uh change or something. You only rolled one six, right? We're about to roll another one. There you go.

SPEAKER_03

Whoa! Oh no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Oh, oh, oh.

SPEAKER_08

It's old me. Ah, dang it. Yes. Yes, is awesome. Well, so you you got definitely enough for one and two. Okay.

SPEAKER_06

You can buy two.

SPEAKER_08

All right. I uh I rolled another uh D6 for use as J on the second one, and it was a four. Yeah, so you you were able to pay for both of them. Say see, see that's how money works, uh Hooch. You gotta you know parcel it out. Oh, yeah, you know, that's how money works.

SPEAKER_06

It's true. Uh-huh. Eat up.

SPEAKER_08

I ask if there are swamp carrots in this. Well, yeah, sure. It's like exclusively. I like that he says sure to everything.

SPEAKER_00

It's just it's like, yeah, sure, whatever you want, boy.

SPEAKER_05

It's just piping hot mud, supposed, isn't it?

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, I guess there's carrots in there, some carrots in there. Yeah, just some get your feet. I tell you, it's war. That's all you need to know. I know. I tell you, I'll tell you that war.

SPEAKER_06

Uh um, yeah, so you guys eat you eat up, it's good stuff. Yeah. Um rest here for the night. You also can ask uh Sky a question, James, as per your ability.

SPEAKER_05

Have you heard any rumors about uh twin harnbeard being in the quagmash?

SPEAKER_06

Oh, you mean Harn the Twinbeard?

SPEAKER_01

Harn the twin beard. That's right. There's a rumor that he went uh way down south, I see.

SPEAKER_10

Way down south, you say? Like all the way to the seashore.

SPEAKER_01

Well, I can't tell for sure. Maybe uh somewhere down there, you know, maybe near the mushmash.

SPEAKER_12

Okay, so pretty far south.

SPEAKER_01

The mushmash.

SPEAKER_12

Thank you.

SPEAKER_01

That's just a rumor. Well, rumors are I had some uh tricky toe gang members, you know, sniffing around a while back. Oh, really? Are they still around?

SPEAKER_10

Uh this is weeks, months ago. Where do you think they would have gone? South? Did you tell them the same thing?

SPEAKER_09

Well, uh, that's where I learned it from then. Oh, okay. Maybe they they might have it on good authority then. Thank you, sir.

SPEAKER_08

That was what it was.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, mushmash is way down south, right.

SPEAKER_08

I say uh how once you guys are done talking, asking the question.

SPEAKER_10

I don't have much to say other than uh you know the shepherd pie is delicious, and uh I'm now gonna take the little I imagine it's served in like a clay dish, and I'm gonna fill the dish with tapatio and maple syrup because I just imagine it's like a California diner and just drink it.

SPEAKER_08

For the nutrients. Um, I I turn to the guy and I say, so you know, you gotta have a crazy story. How did this bar spring out in the middle of a swamp? Like next to the spill, isn't the water bad?

SPEAKER_01

Well, this this has been here for years and years, even before the spill, you see.

SPEAKER_08

So you get you saw the people who did the spill?

SPEAKER_12

No.

SPEAKER_08

No.

SPEAKER_09

You don't use the local water to brew your beer, do you? Oh yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_08

I see. What about that? What about the shepherd's the shepherd's pie? Is there water in this?

SPEAKER_01

Uh yeah, there's spill water in there. I mean, where else are we gonna get it? You see, uh if you're trying to learn some history about the spill, you see. Well, I wasn't alive back then, but this uh this thing has been here for years, you see.

SPEAKER_08

Um, Ben, can we roll mutations? Uh I don't have that on hand. That's fine. That's fine. Those that was we need to make that mutation table.

SPEAKER_10

I think there's something like there is somewhere. There's something about there's some table that we could use for it.

SPEAKER_08

We used something last time. Was it was it just uh an off-brand? It was an online okay, okay, great.

SPEAKER_12

Um I think one of the adversaries has a mutations table.

SPEAKER_05

Um I might be thinking of ogres. Never mind.

SPEAKER_08

Augres. Not like I say uh I I I sleep all night thinking and scratching the back of my neck, feeling like something's gonna grow there, but nothing ever happens because there is not enough spill water in my food.

SPEAKER_09

Your nightmare is like Army of Darkness when Bruce Campbell like scratches an eyeball.

SPEAKER_08

Yeah. Yeah, Bruce Campbell, he needs to be in more things. Uh just watch Burn Notice and you'll I literally just finished Burn Notice maybe two months ago. Wow. Again.

SPEAKER_10

I've never seen it.

SPEAKER_08

My name is Michael Weston, and I'm a spy. All you need to know. All right. Or we have Brand. Uh my name is Brendo Sim, and I'm a bard.

SPEAKER_06

You guys can uh roll some some courage, some healing for a night of rest.

SPEAKER_08

I sit on the porch plucking my my um my keychart going ding ding ding ding ding ding ding.

SPEAKER_09

Swamp gators just come floating by gators are just floating in the water listening to the song with birds in their mouths.

SPEAKER_08

Just every once in a while you hear it snap and a bird goes fluttering off, or sometimes you see it explode into feathers, just depends.

SPEAKER_10

It's the law of nature. Laws of nature. So if we head south, should we avoid orchestai?

SPEAKER_08

Like maybe is this in the sclunch timeline? Yeah. I mean, but we don't know what happened to sclunch. I'm just so curious. Not that it would matter to these characters, I just genuinely also um it's not on the map yet, but there's like a big impenetrable place of uh thorny vines called the prickle right here.

SPEAKER_12

Oh, right. Yeah, that's right. Oh. So we'd have to go around?

SPEAKER_08

Or we'd have to go through Orchmire. Well, you could go through the prickle, it's just like prickly. There's no good options in front of you, basically, unless you go like all the way around.

SPEAKER_11

We c I guess we could go into used to be forest and hug the c hug the coast to avoid going through via marsh gate, or do you or similarly we could go through Bogtown, Bugbear, Holler and all the way around, maybe, or maybe get to Skiff and Yeah.

SPEAKER_08

So how about this? We go back to Bogtown, we drop off with Charlie, uh, that part that we got.

SPEAKER_12

Yeah.

SPEAKER_08

Where is Sir Fwitter in all this? Did he fly away?

SPEAKER_12

He did.

SPEAKER_08

Yeah. Respect. I love that bird.

SPEAKER_09

Save our lives.

SPEAKER_08

It's the best discovery ever. Yeah. That discovery party one reason.

SPEAKER_10

But if this wasn't a party one.

SPEAKER_08

Yeah, very much so. Um, okay, so then let's, yeah, why don't we go return the stuff to Charlie, get his goad, and then head out south out of the quagmash, into the quagmash. Sounds good to me. Let's do it. Let's roll it. I do it. It's rolled. It's rolling. Travel. Ooh, that's an 11, and I definitely have some kind of bonus attached to it. Let me get my realms plus one.

SPEAKER_11

Here we go. Way to start it out.

SPEAKER_08

The Scooby Arto. I roll a D20.

Roadside Magic Shop and Gear Temptations

SPEAKER_11

Way to start it out.

unknown

Okay!

SPEAKER_08

Okay.

SPEAKER_06

Let's just look at my character sheet. Uh, you have to roll a D100, my friend.

SPEAKER_08

All right, let's just multiply it by five, see what happens. 17 times 5, 25. Yeah, that's right. Yeah. That's right.

SPEAKER_12

No, that's right.

SPEAKER_06

Three people.

SPEAKER_11

English degrees.

unknown

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06

Um on the side of the road to Bog Town, or not really a road, it's just a dirt path. Um dirt sarcathy. A shop that says magic.

SPEAKER_08

Is it spelled correctly?

SPEAKER_06

Yeah.

SPEAKER_08

Oh, it's legit. It's legit, yeah. Um is it the same guy who sold us literal snake oil? Um, no. Guys, that guy didn't make it. Oh, he didn't make it. That's right. He's dead. Uh gonna head on in. Yeah, let's head on in. This because this is cool.

SPEAKER_06

Uh, you see uh a fellow with a nice little mustache, like freshly waxed mustache, like twisting. Freshly waxed, he's got a bow tie. Um, he looks really excited when you guys come in and he says, Hello, hello. Uh uh would you like to purchase some uh magic items?

SPEAKER_08

I I elbow hooch, I'm like, hey, magic.

SPEAKER_06

Trick gum?

SPEAKER_08

Real magic. Trick gum trick gum gum. Yeah. What's the what's the trick?

SPEAKER_12

Have a bite. Uh do it, buddy!

SPEAKER_07

All right, all right.

SPEAKER_08

I um I humor hooch and I take a bite of trick gum. My head explodes. Hooch spends the rest of our money buying trick gum. No, just like black ooze starts uh foaming at your mouth. I've been oozed.

SPEAKER_06

Somebody get a doctor. It's hilarious.

SPEAKER_08

I don't is this gonna come out of my frock? Whatever I wear?

SPEAKER_06

Probably not. But that's a trick.

SPEAKER_09

That's what else you got?

SPEAKER_06

Go take a look around.

SPEAKER_08

All right, you eat this one, Hooch. You just eat something that's not in there. But I swallow it.

SPEAKER_06

Um, it's mostly uh just like you know, card tricks, like you know, it's like a magic trick shop. Um, but each of you can make a plus zero treasure hunting check.

SPEAKER_08

Is it a D twenty then? Nine. D twelve.

SPEAKER_06

That's pretty cool.

SPEAKER_03

I love treasure hunting.

SPEAKER_06

Uh you both found magnificent items.

SPEAKER_03

Or like totals.

SPEAKER_06

Wow.

SPEAKER_12

I like magnificent items.

SPEAKER_08

So would you please roll? You're so polite, then.

SPEAKER_06

Would you please roll? You please roll a D four hundred.

SPEAKER_08

D four hundred? That's a one forty-three. I don't know how to roll D four hundred.

SPEAKER_06

Uh you find galoshes.

SPEAKER_11

You write again.

SPEAKER_08

Slash roll. Oh, slash roll space D four hundred.

SPEAKER_12

Two sixty-two.

SPEAKER_06

You sixty-two magnets item trade.

SPEAKER_08

I roll again.

SPEAKER_06

George George, you have to roll a um No, I rolled a twelve.

SPEAKER_08

You can't take it away from me. Roll the one. All right, George, you find superb galoshes.

SPEAKER_06

They grant plus one to relevant skill checks when you uh use these galoshes. And uh three James, you found a uh magnificent pole arm, it has charge.

SPEAKER_08

Oh man, this is very on brand for huge.

SPEAKER_06

When you move um two range bands and attack, it can't be countered. So if you're like uh charging someone from far away, you can hit them.

SPEAKER_08

Nice. Ben, how many slots would you see these galoshes take up?

SPEAKER_06

One um now, they aren't yours, you have to buy them.

SPEAKER_08

Oh. I don't understand. But it makes perfect sense now that you're bringing back to the context of our situation. Um I just one do we want most, George? I haven't covered that gate. It doesn't matter to me. I don't know that like if you want a pike for yourself, feel free. Like uh galoshes could be super useful though, the skill check. Plus one to what, like wading through muck?

SPEAKER_11

That would be really useful. We're about to go through quite mesh.

SPEAKER_08

Yeah. Uh uh dealer's choice, up to you. Okay, I'm gonna do the I'm gonna do the galoshes. Galoshis. Um then I want to also oh, we could barter, James. I have a wicked flail that I think none of us should use because it's increase your dread by one die but minus five to max courage.

SPEAKER_05

Um interesting.

SPEAKER_06

I think uh let me see.

SPEAKER_12

No, no, let me see.

SPEAKER_06

No, no, let me see. No, no, no, no, no, let me see. Um I feel like that's too much of a penalty. Did we say that?

SPEAKER_08

I don't know that we ever addressed it, but that's a really big penalty, then I would never use it at him. Okay, George, let me ask you what would be the cutoff point? Two, three, three. Even then, I'd be like Well, I guess even then, right? I would only use it at the beginning of a battle, and then I would No, because you would the minus three would be like at persistent through the whole fight. Um, yeah, I mean three I guess is is more reasonable. Two is just me being greedy I change it to minus three. But yeah, you you could uh try to barter that if you want to. Yeah, if if James, if you think that the pole arm would be and and the galoshes together.

SPEAKER_09

I think the galoshes are definitely worth getting.

SPEAKER_06

What are you gonna use, James?

SPEAKER_09

What is I was going to beg for them.

SPEAKER_02

Please, come on! I got you don't even need these, you don't even like them. Come on, they don't even fit you. Look at they they look perfect on Brundo.

SPEAKER_08

I was gonna say, like, Hooch, you should just start putting them on and like showing them off and looking how how good you look in them.

SPEAKER_07

For me, like I'll act like I don't understand money because I don't yeah, yeah, you don't.

SPEAKER_08

It's very uh it's very true, all of it.

SPEAKER_10

Um, so I can roll a trickery to beg for something.

SPEAKER_09

That's a five. Okay, yeah. I could make it a six, but it seems like it's early.

SPEAKER_08

The twist is that he takes part of your soul. He's that kind of magic dealer.

SPEAKER_11

I mean do you think I should do it? Do you do we want the glasses?

Back to Bogtown and Charlie’s Parts

SPEAKER_08

I I I say why the heck not, buddy.

SPEAKER_11

Alright, I'll use a quest point. Make it six.

SPEAKER_08

Alright. Yeah, what is the twist?

SPEAKER_12

Um take a soul, Ben.

SPEAKER_08

Jokes on you, mushroom men don't have souls. Because they're eternal features. Mycelium. Yeah. No, I mean, I I think that uh that twist is their cursed. Actually, that's too hardcore. Just very hardcore. I was just gonna say you have to pay for them with copper coins. Oh. I I in a big boy moment, in a real like moment of growing for hooch, I hand him a batch of copper coins and I say, Alright, Hooch, what did we do? What did we discuss?

SPEAKER_10

That I give the coins to the mustache man.

SPEAKER_08

Give some of the coins to the mustache man.

SPEAKER_10

And then we and then the the pants.

SPEAKER_08

Yes. Some of the coins. James, James has to roll it though. Yeah, agreed, agreed. All right. I'm gonna roll it. I want him to roll a one so badly.

SPEAKER_11

Well, I'm a mushroom, so one to four is a failure.

SPEAKER_08

I didn't realize the range was that big. Thank you, so thank you. Uh you know, I'm very proud of you for putting yourself out there today. Uh we still gotta work on your your maths. Your uh your maths are not these new uh galoshes.

SPEAKER_07

Are you two going on a journey? We are, we're heading to mushmash. Oh, is that where you're from?

SPEAKER_10

No, no, we're uh we're looking for somebody. Maybe you've uh maybe heard some rumors or something about uh harn twin beard?

SPEAKER_06

I don't think I have heard of that fellow. Tricky toe gangsters? Can you come through here? I do like tricks, but I don't like tricky toes. Yeah, us neither. We're bounty under you.

SPEAKER_08

Is that what it is?

SPEAKER_06

What?

SPEAKER_08

What I had said nothing, I contributed nothing important to that conversation. I'm sorry.

SPEAKER_06

So you don't want this uh pike here.

SPEAKER_10

No, no, you you go ahead, you you've taken the last of our money.

SPEAKER_08

I turn to Hoosh and I'm like, yeah, what good is a fish, anyways? That's funny, that's clever. Hey Bernard! This guy wishing us good luck.

SPEAKER_09

Here we go. Things are gonna turn around. We're about to go into the quagmash. This is the moment.

SPEAKER_10

Um, I guess we'll be on our way then. So we have no money and one ration.

SPEAKER_08

We have one copper pouch.

SPEAKER_10

Okay.

SPEAKER_08

I I but you don't know that. I've been keeping it reserved just in case. Yeah. Oh, you have all the rations? Do I not have rations? I have one ration. Okay. Okay. So we both have one ration. Two rations. Yeah. Ben, I I have a horned helm. Does that do anything? Uh just is it are like more theatrical? It helps uh against dying. Gives you a plus one. Okay. Awesome. Thank you. Carry on. Um, so yeah, let's head. George, please mark down that this magic shop exists at this in this hex if you ever want to go back. Mark it down. We might we might want to go back. Locations. Can you read me the hex? My screen is not so big right now.

SPEAKER_06

Uh 33.17.

SPEAKER_08

33.17, mustachio magic shop. I'll check it out. Ping it.

SPEAKER_00

Ping.

SPEAKER_08

Sounds like uh an M1 Ground clip getting emptied.

SPEAKER_00

Ping, ping.

SPEAKER_08

All right, we have a mustache magic shop, and then I guess I could put at 31.17. Is that where the tavern is?

SPEAKER_09

I'm gonna ask the guy for the stick of that trick gum before I leave.

SPEAKER_08

Yeah. Complimentary trick gum stick. Open up.

SPEAKER_10

I'll take it into my mouth, but I'm not gonna chew it. Yeah.

SPEAKER_08

But the minute it hits your channel. I want to hold on to the stick gum.

SPEAKER_10

I want to hold on. This might come in handy.

SPEAKER_08

Yeah, it might. That's true. It's just one, it's just one piece. That's fine.

SPEAKER_09

As long as it has the chemical reaction, that's all I need. Just in case. Shenanigans.

SPEAKER_00

Shenanigans.

SPEAKER_06

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06

All right. Uh next part of the day, you can head into Bogtown, make another uh travel check.

SPEAKER_08

Go for it, Jimmy. All right.

SPEAKER_12

Here we go. One might say you got him.

unknown

Wow.

SPEAKER_10

That'll be a nine.

SPEAKER_06

That is a success. And you can also uh find resources if you clean the desire to see.

SPEAKER_00

I want to go fishing.

SPEAKER_12

I want to go fishing.

SPEAKER_09

Go for it, dude. I gotta open up the rulebook. I'll just roll it. Do you have the somebody have the rule book open? I do not.

SPEAKER_08

I do. Alright. For I am the game master. You're the master of the game. That's a one. What does it mean?

SPEAKER_06

That means that you find nothing and you attract unwanted attention.

SPEAKER_08

Yeah. Do not pass go. Do not collect too many.

SPEAKER_05

Stomping around in the swamp.

SPEAKER_08

Yeah.

The Handoff: Tricky Toe Pickup

SPEAKER_07

God have mercy on your soul. Yeah. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having been there.

SPEAKER_08

I love you guys so much. Thank you.

SPEAKER_06

Thank you. God. Okay, you guys stroll into Bogtown, okay? Yes, indeed. It's it's you know, it's evening time. Um you're going into Charlie's.

SPEAKER_02

Going into Charlie's, drop off the parts. Hey, Charlie! How you doing there, buddy boy?

SPEAKER_08

How's your chocolate factory? Uh that's not funny.

SPEAKER_06

I don't know what uh kind of joke you're trying to make is. I offended Charlie. What do you think? I'm a joke because I'm a gelatinous goo. Give him the gum, give them the gum.

SPEAKER_07

This will be something.

SPEAKER_10

This would be something to cheer you up, and I'll like hand over the the still groaty parts.

SPEAKER_08

Yeah, they have seen them. Yeah, lots of schmutz on them. I thought you were belly of a mergot at the uh inn. Oh, that's right. That's how we ended it. We were hosing them off like front of the inn. That's funny, too. Yeah.

SPEAKER_06

Whoa. Oh, you found them. Yeah.

SPEAKER_08

We even spit shined them for you.

SPEAKER_10

You can have your hazmat suits back.

SPEAKER_09

Can he?

SPEAKER_08

Oh, uh yeah. Well, we had the big form of the way.

SPEAKER_09

We took the broken one. He's yeah, I'm gonna keep the broken one.

SPEAKER_08

Okay. I thought you took the we took both. We took them both, but he just gonna return. Yeah, we're gonna return the one we paid for. You didn't actually pay for it, you owe him. We owed him, yeah.

SPEAKER_07

Well, now now we don't owe you because here you got the goods back. Look at that.

SPEAKER_06

Yes, but the difference there for you, you know, uh here's some silver coins for your trouble. Hey.

SPEAKER_08

Now, uh Hootra these worth more or less than copper coins.

SPEAKER_10

I don't answer. I blankly start him.

SPEAKER_08

I'll take those two. Was it one pouch bend?

SPEAKER_06

Yeah.

SPEAKER_08

Awesome. Oh, he's a middleman.

SPEAKER_07

Um say Charlie, you've been in town a long time. You uh hear any rumors lately about the tricky toes heading into quagmash?

SPEAKER_06

Tricky toes heading into quagmash. For uh what reason?

SPEAKER_08

And who's asking? We're asking.

SPEAKER_07

Brenda's asking.

SPEAKER_08

I'm asking. I'm asking.

SPEAKER_06

You don't you don't work for someone else?

SPEAKER_12

We work for ourselves, okay? Nunya business game.

SPEAKER_08

I hand him the business card. It says nunya business.

SPEAKER_09

It just says no, it just hands him the business card that says underbrink town watch.

SPEAKER_08

Uh it when he flips it over, it was like me hastily scrawling Nunya Business on it. And then if he flips it over, he will in fact find. Yeah. You work for underbrink time. Oh, no, the other side, the other side. Ah, we're the worst at this. Do you or don't you?

SPEAKER_12

So what if we do?

SPEAKER_08

Uh we're subcontractors.

SPEAKER_09

I try to crack my knuckles, but they're so spongy there's no sound.

SPEAKER_08

You just keep squishing back and forth.

SPEAKER_06

Look, uh, why don't you come over here?

SPEAKER_08

He like ducks into a little um hut area. I look down the ground, there's a red X that we're standing on. I feel uncomfortable.

SPEAKER_09

I look up and there's uh an anvil, but I don't make the connection.

SPEAKER_08

Right.

SPEAKER_10

How'd you get that up there?

SPEAKER_02

That's wild.

SPEAKER_09

Um I'll follow cautiously.

SPEAKER_06

Look, you guys you seem like uh a pair of boobs.

SPEAKER_08

U what now?

SPEAKER_12

He means he means like goons. Which is totally accurate. Goongas? I killed it. I'm hearing some feedback. It's not that's not me. Oh shoot.

SPEAKER_09

Hello?

SPEAKER_08

Hello?

SPEAKER_09

Hello, is that better?

Tailing Goons to the Heartworm Hotel

SPEAKER_08

Hello? Yes, it is. We were talking about goongas. You were talking about goongas. I'm always talking about goongas. Give it a goongas. Look, I don't want you coming around here anymore, all right? Oh are you breaking up with us? But why? We can't your shop's cool. We're gonna have a sequel and everything.

SPEAKER_01

I'm working for Underbrink too.

SPEAKER_08

What?

SPEAKER_12

Oh, you are?

SPEAKER_08

Nah, I don't believe him. What's his secret handshake? He just sighs. Oh, that's it. That's it. She does that too. You do work for her.

SPEAKER_02

Just exasperation.

SPEAKER_08

Look, some tricky toe guys are coming around here. They're gonna pick up this part soon. Okay. Hey, did did they have any mud on their feet? What do you want us in the quagmash?

SPEAKER_06

Look, I don't know what you're talking about with quagmash. I haven't heard any rumors. We're we're we were gonna go looking for for uh uh harn twinbeard.

SPEAKER_05

Yeah, harn twinbeard. Yeah, we figured if we could squeeze some information out of him, we could uh you know create some chaos for the turkey toe gang.

SPEAKER_12

Yeah, the Yojimbo strategy.

SPEAKER_06

Well, I've been trying to uh get close to Dwog Chumbree. And I think uh something big is going down.

SPEAKER_08

So you're saying you want us to infiltrate the game? No, no, it's probably best you go off on your little escapade. We just keep winking at him.

SPEAKER_10

Okay, all right. So when are we making when are we making the switch?

SPEAKER_12

The switch. The handoff.

SPEAKER_07

When are we when are we doing the handoff? The handoff of what?

SPEAKER_06

The parts, the tricky toe gangs. You want us to do this or what? No, they're coming here, they're gonna pick up the part.

SPEAKER_07

Okay, so they'll pick up the part from us, you'll be laying low. No, you guys just get out of here.

SPEAKER_02

Okay, all right, we'll get out of here.

SPEAKER_06

Like, no worries.

SPEAKER_03

Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_06

Look, last thing I heard about Han Twinbeard said he went to hole up in the quagmash. Now, some say he's in the southeast, some say he's in the southwest.

SPEAKER_08

Definitely in the south.

SPEAKER_09

Southeast or southwest. Okay. All right. Well, we're gonna go looking for him, and once we find him, we're gonna squeeze, we're gonna, we're gonna pinch information from this guy and see if we're gonna go to the house.

SPEAKER_08

Where do you think that phrase came from?

SPEAKER_12

Pinch?

SPEAKER_08

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

I mean, probably like we're gonna like him until he talks. Yeah.

SPEAKER_08

Um, we thank him for his uh business. We say, uh, you know, when the heat's off, maybe we can do business again.

SPEAKER_01

At that moment, uh some some goons step inside behind you and say, Hey, just got word.

SPEAKER_12

Got the part. I try to act cool, like go on.

SPEAKER_08

The guy doesn't even notice you exist. Yeah. I do nothing. I just I sit there and listen, see if I can go unnoticed.

SPEAKER_06

Uh Charlie hands over the parts, and the guy they they're talking about a cave eater.

SPEAKER_08

Cave eater.

SPEAKER_10

Oh, actually, I I have listening. I don't know if I guess they're standing right there, nor am I.

SPEAKER_08

Yeah, paraphrasing like Charlie is trying to explain to them how they would like put the part into the uh vehicle.

SPEAKER_06

Gotta but uh yeah, you're you're you're understanding that the the Cherky Toe gang are going to use a K-veater for some unknown reason.

SPEAKER_12

Interesting.

SPEAKER_08

Kveater is a uh sort of drilling vehicle.

SPEAKER_12

You can see them in Rickety Stitch book two and three. Um one I'm just gonna lay low until they leave. Do you want to follow those guys? Once they leave, we should ask Charlie. You want us to follow those guys? Okay.

SPEAKER_08

No, I want to get out of here. We just keep winking. We just keep winking at him. Yeah, uh, Charlie like keeps looking over you and like shaking his head.

SPEAKER_06

Yeah, they finally leave, and uh Charlie turns to you and says, I told you guys to leave, and you're just standing there like a couple idiots.

SPEAKER_02

What are they claiming to be? I mean what are they planning to do with the cave eater, Charlie? We're gonna do this, we've got to do it as a team.

SPEAKER_08

Like we heard we heard the whole thing, we still don't understand what's going on. Look, you're making me regret that I told you that I'm I'm working with Underbrink.

SPEAKER_06

You see, the thing about uh spy networks is you can't uh mess with each other's work. The more people get involved, the easier it is to you know discover the spies.

SPEAKER_12

I see what you're saying. I I have some kind of web.

SPEAKER_06

You know? Yeah, you know, you gotta you gotta operate in your own cells, you know what I mean?

Report to Underbrink and Rest Plan

SPEAKER_08

Like a honeycomb, like bees. Yeah. Now bees work together. But they have cells. So do prisons, then so there is yes, so do prisons indeed. You want to be in prison? Are you a quit coming around here? Are you the law? Six hours later, we finally leave. No, um, James, do you want to follow those guys?

SPEAKER_09

Um, yeah, let's let's tail those guys, but like keep our distance because we don't want to screw up Charlie's thing.

SPEAKER_08

Yeah. Um Ben, can I narrate that they're talking about their plan out loud as we uh follow them? Sure. Okay, uh let me see if I do this roll. I'm gonna I'm gonna rhyme for once, you know. And then Hooch and Brendo slip through the crowd. They followed the Goongas while they talked out loud. Hey, we're having uh Ben regrets inviting me on the stream. Uh inspire is a plus two, so that's gonna be a plus three bonus. Let's see where it goes. That's 11. Oh, wow. Nice nice noise. I want a bird that makes that sound. It's called the Nahana. Okay.

SPEAKER_06

Um yeah, you overhear them uh talking about um how they're really gonna make some headway now.

SPEAKER_08

So uh the boss will be happy.

SPEAKER_06

Um make a sneak check. Sneak check.

SPEAKER_08

Both of us are just uh yeah. Okay, I'm gonna use I'm gonna use blending into the crowd so I have an advantage on my sneak check. That's a 12, I wouldn't have needed it.

SPEAKER_09

Oh 12.

SPEAKER_08

Look at us, a couple of sneaky sneaks making snock cheeks, snuck cheeks. Yeah, so you're able to tail them like really easily. You follow them into the gutter span. Uh they're really bad at their jobs. And um they head to the Heartworm Hotel. Okay, Heartworm Hotel. Which is it sounds terrible, Ben.

SPEAKER_06

A seedy real uh seedy place that uh once was an actual like luxury hotel, but it's since fallen in disrepair, taken over by the Tricky Tail gang, apparently, and um they're talking about uh the expansions that they're doing underneath the hotel.

SPEAKER_08

So they're doing some expansions.

SPEAKER_10

They're tunneling, they're like tunneling out a secret base.

SPEAKER_08

Should we do it? We should report this to Under Rink. Yeah, we should like jet immediately. Yeah. For once we actually leave instead of persistent much to our own peril.

SPEAKER_07

We're already tired from Marguerite filming for six hours. So yeah, Ben as a GMK.

SPEAKER_08

Ben as a GM was is surprised because he was ready to just like throw 40 goons at us, but we've disappointed him.

SPEAKER_06

No, no, that's uh makes me very happy.

SPEAKER_08

We're actually doing something logical for once. You see, you see one of the goons like turn around just before he goes in, like eyeing to see if there's anyone following him, and then he shuts the door. All right. Amazing. We've actually done real detective work. Uh yeah, can we head back to the uh Penny Pandora's PG Pandora Cider House rules? Yes, yes. Um make a little trial check for it, though. I think, right? That's what you yeah, yeah. Go for it. Yeah. A realm Jeroni, hash uh eight. Uh I will not use a quest point. Okay. Um this works out for us, yeah. All right.

SPEAKER_06

Guys are exhausted.

SPEAKER_08

I mean, that's not inaccurate. Like, I feel like that's pretty pretty much tracks for the situation.

SPEAKER_06

So that means you guys um have the tired condition. Okay. You also take 1d6 dread.

unknown

Oh boy.

Into Quagmash: Weather, Quicksand, and Wits

SPEAKER_08

Oh, what? Oh, bad. It's terrible. Oh, it took six. We're both dead. Wander away. The most deadly travel check ever. I have nine, I'm down to five. And we're gonna get five. It's brutal. Yeah. Yeah. We we're gonna like crawl two.

SPEAKER_06

Kind of we've we've had been we had an editor, another editor, look at some of the book and um kind of shoring up some things that I want to try out. Sure. So a travel day is uh divided into four uh turns.

SPEAKER_08

So oh, so we're no longer two legs, we're four turns. Yeah. Okay. All right. So two turns in the day, two turns at night. And um oh, oh, that's interesting. Okay.

SPEAKER_06

So today was night time. Today was this was today was your your time in Bog Town was the third turn. So you guys are coming up on the fourth, getting back to pennies. Uh to remove the tiredness, you're gonna have to like rest into tomorrow.

SPEAKER_08

Yeah, like rest at least two turns, I would imagine, or something like that, right? Yeah so like tonight and part of the morning tomorrow. But normally you can just rest one turn. But if you're tired, if you you want to get rid of the tiredness, you gotta rest too. Uh Brendo refuses to get rid of the tiredness. No, cool. Um that that that actually makes a lot of sense, though. I like that. Um it's like slightly easier to get rid of that thing than before, I think, right? Yeah. Yeah, and there's just you know some vagaries, vagueness previously that kind of organized, organized. I like it. I like it all.

SPEAKER_06

All right, so you make it back to pennies. Um what do you do? What do you do?

SPEAKER_08

Uh talk to Brink and also get some grub and right before we collapse, we say Heartbreakho, Heartworm Hotel, uh tunneling, and then we just both pass out. Yeah, uh, underbrink has her usual like notes putting pieces of mysteries together.

SPEAKER_09

It's like we go to her room, it's filled with just like stuff all over the walls and yarn kind of thing at all.

SPEAKER_08

Yeah. And there's like a shrine of you too. There's like pictures of your faces, plaster everywhere. She's successful.

SPEAKER_07

She ends up becoming the campaign's primary villain. The sociopaths are maybe we're like uh Harry and Lloyd in Dumb and Dumber, where everyone thinks that we're geniuses.

SPEAKER_08

We're just so stupid, it's like unbelievable. I'm kind of getting that vibe from this uh this duo. This whole campaign. Yeah. We'll chase Dumb and Dumber. We're going to get a horse-drawn carriage that looks like a big fat dog head. Yes.

SPEAKER_09

We're trying to raise money for our worm farm, is our new personal quest.

SPEAKER_08

I'm in. I have to go rewatch that. And how many sequels were there?

SPEAKER_10

I don't know.

SPEAKER_08

Well, there was like Dumber and Dumberer, and then there was like something like an origin story. When Harry met Lloyd. Yeah.

SPEAKER_12

Neither of those I've seen, but I knew what it was.

SPEAKER_08

I appreciate you. Um let's see. We sleep. It works. Um we recover some hitapunta. Ooh. Doble twos. Plus our level, correct? Oh no, that's that's when you're that's when you session. Um you do get a bonus, however. Accept. You're gonna spend those two uh two turns sleeping? I'm gonna spend those two turns sleeping.

SPEAKER_10

I am also.

SPEAKER_08

Okay.

SPEAKER_06

All right. You get a plus three. Um, also, you're gonna have to eat something, so you could spend that cash that you just made.

SPEAKER_08

Uh I pull out the copper coin patch and I hand it to Hooch and I say, All right, Hooch, Fresc.

SPEAKER_10

All right. Um I use it.

SPEAKER_12

I'm sorry.

SPEAKER_06

No, it's fine. It's fine. I love it. What would you like? Would you like uh Pandora's griddle picks? You want uh biscuits and gristle?

SPEAKER_11

Yes. Biscuits and gristle.

SPEAKER_08

I ordered chew on like horrible gristle off of bones and stuff. But there's biscuits in it. The gravy's gnarly in your gristle, yes, it's true. It's like a bowl of gristle with some biscuits floating in it. Oh, jeez.

SPEAKER_06

Biscuits really gets you right here. Right here. Biscuits and gristle uh can give you plus one might or dread.

SPEAKER_08

And the griddle cakes give you plus one vitality. Interesting.

SPEAKER_09

I'm gonna take the I'm gonna take the the I'm gonna do the plus one mite for the gristle and the biscuits.

SPEAKER_08

And how long does that last? Four benches a day? Like four turns.

SPEAKER_06

Uh for the session. So hooch, uh you spent uh you spent the coins on the first go.

SPEAKER_08

That's a really like powerful drawback.

SPEAKER_10

I don't know.

SPEAKER_08

I think that it's like I think it's it it's entertaining. Like I just, you know. I will not let you find anything more than copper. Oh, fair enough. I mean, it would have happened either way, you rolled a two.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_08

That's true. So Brendo, are you gonna use your other coins? Oh, that didn't cover both of them. No.

SPEAKER_12

Okay. Yeah, I'm gonna use all the coins.

SPEAKER_10

Uh well, looks like we'll be fishing.

SPEAKER_06

Yeah, penny. Uh Penny throws in some road bread, Pandora's road bread for you.

SPEAKER_08

All right, we got some to go. So is that maybe like one additional ration? It's uh two. Okay, so I have three rations now. Perfect. That's hilarious. It's like I know it's gonna get spent. All right.

SPEAKER_11

Uh well, we have food at least.

SPEAKER_08

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06

Sorry, it it's one, but it counts as two when you roll it, like for two people.

SPEAKER_08

Oh, gosh. Oh, okay. And do we each get one? No. No. No. No.

SPEAKER_06

No.

SPEAKER_08

No.

SPEAKER_06

All right. All right, you guys uh eat up, you rest, and uh it's the next morning, or it's the next afternoon. You got uh one leg of travel or one uh turn of travel during the day that you can do. Uh where you where are you going?

SPEAKER_10

I say we go to the Nakadonkey bayou and check the since I mean the eastern half of Quagmash feels a little bit safer because we can like bounce to skiff and then oh, I see.

SPEAKER_08

Yeah, go to buyers. I mean, we've already faced gators. We're obviously masters of gators. Sure.

SPEAKER_09

Gator masters. Yeah.

SPEAKER_08

Masters of Gatorsky.

SPEAKER_09

We could go to Anchor Bottom as well.

SPEAKER_08

I don't think we've ever been to Anchor Bottom.

SPEAKER_11

I don't think we've ever been there. Yeah. Yeah. Never even come close. We've never been to Bugbear Holler. We've never been to a lot of places.

SPEAKER_08

I think we've been to Bugbear Holler.

SPEAKER_10

Have we?

SPEAKER_08

I think we have. Really?

SPEAKER_10

Yeah.

SPEAKER_08

Hmm. Okay.

SPEAKER_10

So I would I would suggest we go to Nakadonkey Bayou and then to skiff.

SPEAKER_08

I like it. Let's do it.

SPEAKER_10

Because we can ask around.

SPEAKER_08

On the on the trail of word, Chambre.

SPEAKER_09

Yeah.

unknown

Shh.

SPEAKER_09

Is it my role or your role?

SPEAKER_08

Uh my role. You're right. Thank you.

SPEAKER_09

Oh my goodness gracious.

SPEAKER_08

Oh, absolutely. Quattro, quattro, quattro. Okay. Uh roll it up. Roll a D100. What kind of shenanigans will we get into this time? 15. 15 bugbears holler at you.

SPEAKER_05

Hey, get you. Do you holler back? Yes. Get off my property.

SPEAKER_08

All the single bugbears, all the single bugbears.

SPEAKER_05

You're ruining my moonshine still.

SPEAKER_06

Guys are in the quagmash. Yeah. Uh hey, look, a classic PC steps in quicksand.

SPEAKER_05

Oh wow.

SPEAKER_06

Good thing you got those galoshes.

SPEAKER_05

Yeah, no kidding.

SPEAKER_08

But the question is who's wearing them? Are you wearing them, James? That's a great question. I don't know.

SPEAKER_10

I didn't think I was, but we can roll it.

SPEAKER_08

Slip a quick roll to see where the glasses fallen into quicksand. Yeah, yeah, okay, okay. All right. I'll I'll roll uh two. I'm wearing the galoshes. Okay, I'm wearing the galoshes. All right. Yeah, you want to roll to see. Which one of us is in? Sando.

SPEAKER_10

Yeah, one or two, I'm in the sand.

SPEAKER_08

Okay. I'm in the sand. Okay, sweet. That worked out.

SPEAKER_11

That worked out. That worked out.

SPEAKER_08

Yeah, I say, I'm not worried. I got these glasses on. And you just Hooch pulls me out of the glasses and they get swallowed in. Um, let's see if we can actually see if we can actually get out of this. We're so sad as a group. Yeah, you guys are just walking along trying to cross the bayou. And uh Brendo, you start on a bayou. I say, uh Hooch, is the world getting taller or am I getting shorter?

SPEAKER_02

I never know, man.

SPEAKER_11

No, I uh I'll I'm gonna sorry, go ahead.

Camp Life: Fishing, Cooking, and Dread

SPEAKER_08

Well, I mean, uh Brendo, you try to make a nobleness check. All right, good thing I have a bonus at all. Yeah. Uh B12 plus one. That's a six. I don't want the drawback to be that the galoshes are there, but that might be actually it. Um question is can we rescue them? Or Ben, can you think of can you think of another thing besides the galoshes that have slipped off?

SPEAKER_06

Um I say if not the galoshes are random thing you're carrying.

SPEAKER_08

I'd almost rather them be the galoshes. All of our food would be worse. Yeah. Alright. So yeah, let's say that the galoshes have have slipped off.

SPEAKER_02

Uh god, I say so many resources, this quest. Hooch the galoshes. Let me see if I can get them.

SPEAKER_09

I'll like reach in and then drown.

SPEAKER_08

Yeah, I make uh okay, so use your man catcher.

SPEAKER_10

Yeah, I'll try to use the man catcher to see if I can't grab them.

SPEAKER_08

Alright, if you can't grab them, I'll use a power. It's like a uh a claw game situation. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04

Okay.

SPEAKER_10

The perspective shifts. What should I use? Athletics. Nimbleness.

SPEAKER_08

Uh let you go with uh nimbleness or just make an attack roll. Neme bonus.

SPEAKER_10

Alright, 10.

SPEAKER_08

I made an attack roll.

SPEAKER_06

Alright, you uh you get them, you're like, whoa!

SPEAKER_08

They're hanging like I got a knob one!

SPEAKER_05

All right, all right, all right, gently, gently, gently. Lower them down, lower them down.

SPEAKER_08

He puts them right back into more quicksand.

SPEAKER_10

I'll I'll accidentally dump them on top of him, and he's got like mud all over him now.

SPEAKER_08

I say good catch, man catcher. Woof. Person catcher, people catcher, bogger catcher, bogger catcher.

SPEAKER_12

Uh rest at the cider house.

SPEAKER_06

Um well, uh it's already evening, as uh after this whole ordeal. Um here's how it works. You could push on, but you are risking becoming tired.

SPEAKER_08

Uh yeah, and it's also diff more difficult to uh travel at night.

SPEAKER_10

I think that we should make camp.

SPEAKER_08

I think you're gonna say I think we should travel at night, but I agree with you.

SPEAKER_06

So during camp, you can sit around, talk with each other, like like you're accustomed to doing, or you could uh go search for resources.

SPEAKER_08

I want to search for resources because we're so poor right now.

SPEAKER_10

Yeah, I was gonna say I'm gonna fish to see if I can't find some food.

SPEAKER_06

Okay. So that yeah, that so basically how it's gonna work from now on, like you can um basically either or have time and talk with each other or search for resources, and then the next the fourth turn is like time to sleep, you know, or if you're tired, you would use both of those to like just to fully rest.

SPEAKER_08

Got it. Yeah, I I'm gonna go maybe hunt for herbs and resources. Oh no, no, I'm gonna hunt for food so that we have ration. You're gonna hunt for fishing, right? Hunt for fishing. You're gonna hunt for fishing.

SPEAKER_11

I'm going to dynamite some plastic water.

SPEAKER_08

That's super on brand.

SPEAKER_11

Actually, my name is Hooch Dundee, and I think Crocodile Dundee does use dynamite and water in one of the movies.

SPEAKER_00

Oh.

SPEAKER_12

So that's not how you want to do it. So it's on brand, you know what I mean. This is how you fish. This is how you fish.

SPEAKER_08

Alright, let me roll a wilderness check for myself. Uh, I come back with company. Oh no. You come back with fish.

SPEAKER_12

It's a 10.

SPEAKER_06

Cool. That means uh you can roll up a fish. I got the table. Roll a D12. Eight. An eight, that means you get uh a Nacadonkey Reaver right out of the Nacadonkey bayou.

SPEAKER_12

That's perfect.

SPEAKER_06

Tell you what that does for you. What'd that do? That makes up makes a nice Naca donkey gumbo if you cook it up. That'll be plus one mite from the session.

SPEAKER_11

Ooh. If we cook that up, I'll be plus two mite.

SPEAKER_09

I love it. Let's do it. We'll hold on to our road bread.

SPEAKER_06

Brendo, on the other hand, what did you get?

SPEAKER_08

I got company. What was your total though? Two. Okay, yeah. Uh uh three? Would three matter? I forget. Yeah, it does. Oh, okay, yeah. So I'm gonna bump a quest point into that one.

SPEAKER_01

Okay, you you just find nothing then.

SPEAKER_08

Oh. Uh just cuts back to me combing the desert. The the alternative is you would get unwanted attention and raise your chance of uh an intrusion.

SPEAKER_12

No, no, yeah. No, thank you.

SPEAKER_08

No thank you. Yeah, you're gonna cook up some.

SPEAKER_12

Yeah, let's do it.

SPEAKER_08

Come on, hooch.

SPEAKER_09

Fire it up, fire it up, fire it up fire it up, fire it up. Uh um what do I roll for cooking? Tinker. Oof. I will cook it up, but I'm minus two.

SPEAKER_08

Does Brendo have better tinker? I do. Uh Tinker Taylor plus one bonus.

SPEAKER_09

Tinker Taylor seven?

SPEAKER_08

Excellent. Excellent.

SPEAKER_12

Excellent.

SPEAKER_08

It's not as good as the other fish I cooked in the past.

SPEAKER_06

But it's good enough.

SPEAKER_08

Can you craft the item? Um yeah, we get XP for that. Nice.

unknown

Woof!

SPEAKER_08

So as per the rules, uh it will feed one person because you uh rolled a seven. I give it to uh hooch. Really? I don't know, man. No, you you caught it. You eat it.

SPEAKER_02

You sure you can answer I eat it.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah. Sure. Um flowers go around here.

SPEAKER_07

That's good. I just said that this morning when I was driving.

SPEAKER_11

Driving past a flowery hill, I screamed out, do flowers grow around here. You love it.

SPEAKER_08

I love it too. Okay, so we're fed.

SPEAKER_06

Now we sleep. Sorry, did you use a quest point?

SPEAKER_08

Did I hear who? Brendo to not get unwanted attention. Yes, I did.

SPEAKER_06

Cool. The night passes without incident, and uh Brendo.

Push to Skiff and the Secret Trader

SPEAKER_08

I think you gotta use a ration or something, and then you guys are uh ready to go. I'm gonna use a ration, ration. Uh the uh regular rations are d6, correct?

SPEAKER_06

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_08

Look at that. Look at that.

SPEAKER_06

So you can heal up. Um start a brand new day on the bayou.

SPEAKER_09

Or not a bayou. I think I'm full, or I'm at 11, I think.

SPEAKER_08

Gosh, I really, really, really can't get HP to save my life.

unknown

I know.

SPEAKER_08

I know. Literally to save my life.

SPEAKER_02

This is the most dread we've ever taken without any conflict whatsoever.

SPEAKER_08

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

The elements are just destroying us.

SPEAKER_08

Alright, next day. Alright.

SPEAKER_09

Oh, uh, it's me. I'll roll it. That's a seven. Okay, that's a bummer. Towards skiff, though. Well, hopefully. Let's see what the bump of the road is. Roll a d6.

SPEAKER_11

All right, Georgie.

SPEAKER_07

That's a four.

SPEAKER_06

That is a four. Four is bad weather.

SPEAKER_08

Bad weather. It's raining on us.

SPEAKER_09

We're in the mud. There's quicksand everywhere.

SPEAKER_08

I turn it hoosh and I say uh I bet flowers grow around here with all this rain. Um, yeah, so the next check has a minus two. It's just pouring down, you guys. It's pretty miserable. I miss Bogtown. Yeah.

SPEAKER_09

I miss Bogtown too.

SPEAKER_08

Uh I make a travel check. Uh minus two, I think, actually.

SPEAKER_09

I just rolled that one.

SPEAKER_08

Oh, okay. Okay. So another travel check?

SPEAKER_09

Yeah, one more.

SPEAKER_08

Yeah, minus minus do.

SPEAKER_05

Minus do?

SPEAKER_08

Come on, plus one, so it's a minus one. That's a seven. That ain't the worst.

SPEAKER_06

No.

SPEAKER_08

Another bump on the road, buddy. All of our ration load.

unknown

Inter.

SPEAKER_06

That's what it is, yeah.

SPEAKER_12

Yep.

SPEAKER_06

Felts are going by the end of the day, just like you know, wet socks.

SPEAKER_10

Soggy, covered in mud, yelling at each other.

SPEAKER_08

Hooch actually has expanded to many times his size because of the water, just like being in work. I say, Hooch, you're crowding me on the path. It's not even a wide path. Can you please like give me some space?

SPEAKER_02

I'm giving you all the space you can't walk over there.

SPEAKER_08

I can't. It's your your mushroom. I don't know what is it called? Your hat thing?

SPEAKER_11

Are you calling are you calling me fat? Is that what you're doing?

SPEAKER_08

No, I see I'm saying you're absorbent. You've absorbed a lot of water. You're in my way.

SPEAKER_02

But what if I have You know what?

SPEAKER_08

Alright, you walk ahead. I will walk behind. I will bring up the rear.

SPEAKER_10

I like walk ahead in a huff, and the only thing you can hear is like his galoshes squishing into the ground. Yeah.

SPEAKER_08

Is this like your first argument? Like your first real like getting mad at each other? I mean, this is our first court-mandated argument.

SPEAKER_00

Court mandated.

SPEAKER_10

Yeah, it's I mean, outside of when I tried to turn him in for money.

SPEAKER_12

Yeah, this is our first.

SPEAKER_06

Um, do you guys think that it changes anything between you?

SPEAKER_10

Um I I don't think this one does. The circumstances are two bumps in the road. Like, I don't know.

SPEAKER_08

It was just miserable. I don't I don't think it wasn't.

SPEAKER_10

We'll get into a fight when we go to sinkhole for sure.

SPEAKER_08

Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_11

Or skiff.

SPEAKER_10

Sorry, skiff.

SPEAKER_08

We're gonna be fine until we get to sinkhole, and then then all bets are off. Um then I'll find a way to sing the John and George.

SPEAKER_04

He's over there.

SPEAKER_02

He's over there. I don't care, we're not friends anymore. Call me fat.

SPEAKER_06

All right, you guys are like close to skiff, but it's the end of the day.

SPEAKER_08

Um you could try pushing it. I would say we should push it since it's right there, but yeah, let's do it. Uh is well, I did actually I just rolled, so Ben, we should be able to move, right? I moved you. Oh, you moved us. You moved us. It's slow going in the swamp. Oh, right. It's only yeah, okay. So uh I say, Brando, lead the way. I mean, that's me. Hoosh, lead the way.

unknown

Right?

SPEAKER_06

You'll both need to make vitality checks to not get tired.

SPEAKER_08

So good thing I ate those uh panclocks. Uh so strong. Uh I have to use another quest point to bump that to a six. All right.

SPEAKER_06

You push on.

SPEAKER_07

Come on, Brendan. Oh god, take forever.

SPEAKER_08

And now I just uh I'm playing music to myself to drown out Hooch's hoochiness.

SPEAKER_06

Make that check.

SPEAKER_08

Uh which check? The oh, the actual the actual yeah, roll. Oh, uh James, it's you. Oh my gosh, look at this back-to-back 12s, Bernard guiding them dice.

SPEAKER_10

Guiding them dice. Double 12, y'all.

SPEAKER_08

Dice who sasuces.

SPEAKER_10

Ah nah, nahey.

SPEAKER_09

Okay, um roll the demon 100. Oops, sorry. Sorry, I forgot to roll. One.

SPEAKER_08

Wow. That's impressive.

SPEAKER_11

That's wild. I'm glad I got that one out of my system on this, though.

SPEAKER_06

Right? I feel like you guys might might have missed uh met this guy before.

SPEAKER_08

Oh, they were saying you we might have messed this up, and I'm like, oh, alright.

SPEAKER_06

Uh you on your as you're heading into Skiff, there is a kobold who stops you.

SPEAKER_07

He says, Hey, hey, hey, hey.

SPEAKER_06

Got any secrets? My name's uh Isaac. Got any secrets? I deal in secrets, okay? You give me some, I'll give you some.

SPEAKER_12

Okay, yeah.

SPEAKER_03

Um what is my secret?

SPEAKER_06

Come on, any anything you know, you know. Any secret rumors.

SPEAKER_08

Uh uh, I got a secret. I'm a bard. Uh yeah, it only matters in Vogtown. I'm gonna really nonchalantly. I'm gonna really nonchalantly. That's real great, buddy.

SPEAKER_07

After right after he says that, I'm gonna really nonchalantly say, like, the tricky toes of building some sort of secret base underneath the hotworm hotel. I like it. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

Oh, and while we're at it, we're looking for Harmony. One at a time, what at and we're working for Underbrink. I got a million of them.

SPEAKER_06

Hooch. Hooch. Who's underbrink?

SPEAKER_02

She's a detective in Bogtown.

SPEAKER_06

Oh, yeah. Kate Ketterin. Oh, yeah. Kate Ketterin. That's good stuff right there.

SPEAKER_07

Yeah, they're like buddies or whatever.

SPEAKER_06

All right.

SPEAKER_10

I start to walk off, having completely forgotten he's gonna give us a secret.

SPEAKER_02

Hey, where are you going? Oh, I forgot. Sorry. You got a secret for us?

SPEAKER_06

Uh yeah, I do. Get it. Wait on me, buddy. You ever heard of Long John's McGill?

SPEAKER_08

Is that some kind of gorilla?

SPEAKER_06

No, it's a guy. He's putting together a hunting party. They're gonna go kill the great white riversaw. Really? Is that a secret? Uh yeah, because everyone's after him. Everyone's after the riversaw. It's like this uh competition, basically.

SPEAKER_10

Oh, interesting.

SPEAKER_12

And so uh it's a secret that this guy's after the riversaur?

SPEAKER_06

It's a secret that he's putting together a hunting party, okay? Oh, okay. All right. I see what you're saying.

SPEAKER_12

Uh I like the cut of your jib. Um cool.

SPEAKER_06

Cool. I got another secret for you. Lay it on me. You know, there's this uh place down uh down south called Dark Shroom Tower. Full of cultists kidnap people.

SPEAKER_08

Shroom Tower?

SPEAKER_06

Kidnap people.

SPEAKER_09

Yeah. That's horrible. Do you know what for?

SPEAKER_06

Uh you know, well, I don't know what what a cultists do anything for.

SPEAKER_08

Uh serve their evil lord.

Leads to Lost Willows and Next Steps

SPEAKER_06

Exactly. Exactly.

SPEAKER_08

I mean, I should know I'm a cultist, it's fine.

SPEAKER_06

A secret. Wait, you're a cultist?

SPEAKER_08

Yeah, the cult of Bard.

SPEAKER_07

Okay.

SPEAKER_08

Give me another secret. Come on.

SPEAKER_07

He's just being smart.

SPEAKER_06

He's being smart.

SPEAKER_02

He's being smart with you.

SPEAKER_06

Hey, you ever heard of the lost willows? No. They say the trees themselves snatch up travelers who dare go in there.

SPEAKER_05

Is that near here? I look at the trees.

SPEAKER_06

Nope, it's down down south. Oh, that's where we're going. Oh, yeah. Why are you going there?

SPEAKER_07

We're looking for Harren Twinbeard. You seen him? Oh.

SPEAKER_06

Well, I heard he might be down there. Uh, east or west, by chance. By chance. Well, he might be in the lost willows. The lost willows.

SPEAKER_08

East or west. We don't understand that.

SPEAKER_06

That's southwest from here.

SPEAKER_08

We're holding the map upside down. You mean southeast?

SPEAKER_06

No, you gotta turn that around. We don't teach you that in Bard School.

SPEAKER_08

Uh we're gonna go.

SPEAKER_07

I point to a spot on the map that's clearly a mustard stain. So you're staying around here.

SPEAKER_06

Uh no, that that's uh that's the drippy down. Got it, got it. Look, look, I'll show you right here.

SPEAKER_08

Okay.

SPEAKER_11

Okay.

SPEAKER_08

Yeah, right here. All right.

SPEAKER_11

So we'll uh what do you say, George? We go to sinkhole.

SPEAKER_08

Yeah, let's shoot over to sinkhole. Wait, we're in skiff. We should bed down for the night.

SPEAKER_11

Yeah, right. We need to rest, but this is good. We're we're we're narrowing in on twin beard.

SPEAKER_08

Progress.

SPEAKER_09

Indeed. Make us some crazy good progress.

SPEAKER_06

Anyway, that was uh that was good for me. Was it good for you? Yeah. All right.

SPEAKER_09

Let's see what head on in. He's like going to the same place. He's gonna stay in our room.

SPEAKER_02

You're not using the tub, are you? Puts a bale two in it.

SPEAKER_06

Right. Uh yeah, you guys head into skiff. Um it's probably a good place to stop here. Yeah. Um skiff is this uh they call it the last stop before the slop. Okay.

SPEAKER_08

You know, they say uh choosy moms choose skiff. Yeah, I'm just saying. Wow.

SPEAKER_09

Oh, that's classic, if you ask me. What things are classic?

SPEAKER_08

It's uh regular Vlasic, if you will.

SPEAKER_11

It's a regular classic. Right. Go stuff.

SPEAKER_08

Uh let's do some uh XP Z.

SPEAKER_12

Yeah, let's do that. XP sasuces Munoz. Frankie Munoz.

SPEAKER_06

Okay, um you did complete a quest by uh giving Charlie the part. Did you encounter a new creature? Uh I don't think so.

SPEAKER_08

Quicksand. It's a living thing.

SPEAKER_06

Significant NPC encounter.

SPEAKER_09

Um Charlie Charlie, I'd say found out he was working for Underbring? Like, did we already have a significant counter with Charlie?

SPEAKER_08

Uh we we did like a new aspect of the relationship. Um I don't know if that's how that works. Except we were with him for six hours.

SPEAKER_07

I mean, it's gonna be worse.

SPEAKER_08

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You solve a problem in a creative way. Uh, I mean the quicksand? No. Not really. Um what else? No, not really, I don't think. Yeah. Get into peril or hijinks? Definitely.

SPEAKER_06

Yes. Did you travel 10 or more hexes? Let's see.

SPEAKER_08

Yeah, I'm gonna go with a yes on that. I think so. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven.

SPEAKER_04

What?

SPEAKER_10

We we started here. We were robbed!

SPEAKER_08

Two, one, three, two, three, four, five, six, seven, six, seven, eight, nine. That's not how it worked. Um, shucks. We were so close.

SPEAKER_06

Uh explore a new location or point of interest.

SPEAKER_08

Um that could be bayou. I guess. Yeah, definitely. Bayou Safesh. Didn't really explore it though.

SPEAKER_04

Right.

SPEAKER_08

It explored us, I would say.

SPEAKER_06

Crafted an item. Some cooking.

SPEAKER_08

Yeah, should we got some cooking in there? Some chuchin'.

SPEAKER_06

So I'm gonna call that 4XP.

SPEAKER_08

And I don't think anyone did ideals and flaws. I did not. I did. Well, so my new ideal and new flaw is so kind of. Uh it's the story exchange, you know, learner tell a story. Did I not who didn't I ask someone about the story of the tavern, or did he really just kind of like brush that off?

SPEAKER_06

Um yeah, that might have been my bad.

XP, Housekeeping, and Closing Notes

SPEAKER_08

I was I didn't know that you were. I was angling for that. I thought you were just trying to poke holes in uh logic. Which is, you know what, in all fairness, that's that is my um I've conditioned you to feel that way. I was really trying to get like the story of that area, but no, no, no, that's fine. Uh I I will explicitly say that next time I'm trying to do it. I think that would be like the most fair thing to do because most of the time I am just trying to flaw it and doing a bad job of it.

SPEAKER_06

Uh yeah, you know, there was an opportunity guy for you guys to uh I don't know, do some relationship stuff when you're arguing, arguing, but I don't I don't know where that would go.

SPEAKER_08

I I feel like that shouldn't necessarily count because it didn't like it's not gonna change our relationship long term.

SPEAKER_10

Yeah, I just kind of figured it was just a horrible trip. But um that means there's opportunities, uh you know.

SPEAKER_06

Around the corner. Yes. Okay. So next time, um guess we'll head to sinkhole.

SPEAKER_08

Yep. Head into that sinkhole in the center and into the lost willows.

SPEAKER_06

All right, cool. Um any any parting words?

SPEAKER_10

Um yeah, I mean, if you uh are interested in playing Land Beam, checking out this sandbox or getting your hands on the rules, like we said at the beginning, you can check out landaveam.com or click on any of the links below this video on YouTube. Um you can also check it out at Drive ThruRPG and do sign up for the newsletter because we'll be we'll be you'll get lots of frequent updates about um the game itself as well as the upcoming crowdsource campaign.

SPEAKER_08

Excellent. Until next week. Take it easy, everybody. Take care. Bye.