SPEAKER_10

Hi.

SPEAKER_09

Hello.

SPEAKER_10

Hello.

SPEAKER_09

Happy Saturday, gents.

SPEAKER_08

And a do regon to you too.

SPEAKER_12

Welcome to the Land of Eam stream. Where we play Land of Eam RPG. A forthcoming RPG from us.

SPEAKER_01

Wow.

SPEAKER_08

Yes, we're going to play the Land of Eam RPG. It is forthcoming. There's going to be a crowd core crowdsource campaign announced very, very soon, along with some other exciting announcements surrounding the game.

SPEAKER_09

If you want to try out the game, you can check it out at landaveam.com and download the beta. Sign up for the newsletter for all the news and updates. You can also get on drive through a pg, landaveam.com.

SPEAKER_08

Plug over. Let's let's play the game. Plug not over. There is a Kickstarter goal that's going to happen where you can uh give George six X's for like two minutes.

SPEAKER_09

George is DMing himself into Victoria.

SPEAKER_08

I am. I am it's gonna happen.

SPEAKER_12

Yes. I'm getting some uh feedback or some uh I too am getting some feedback.

SPEAKER_08

Jeez, it's me. Hold on.

SPEAKER_09

Is that better? I don't know.

SPEAKER_08

No. No. It's you're plugged into the UHF adapter.

SPEAKER_12

I mean upside is you got it all.

Recap: Ghost, Bandits, And Bogtown

SPEAKER_08

Yes, yes, that's good.

SPEAKER_09

I don't know why that happens. I just have to unplug. I gotta blame it. It's noodle. It is noodle.

SPEAKER_12

Um let's do a little recap from last time. A lot happened. You guys uh wow the ghost.

SPEAKER_10

A ghost.

SPEAKER_08

Yeah.

SPEAKER_09

The whole quest was a random encounter that just like spiraled into an hour and three minutes of adventure.

SPEAKER_12

Yeah, you helped a ghost um find peace. Uh they were you know lost in the quagmash. They wanted to get back to Bogtown.

SPEAKER_08

One to kill us.

SPEAKER_12

Not really. I mean, it could have happened, but but I'm hearing it again. Sorry. Yeah. It's just my voice repeating in my head.

SPEAKER_08

Ben Ben can't stand the sound of his own voice because he loves it too much. It's distracting.

SPEAKER_12

It's highlight the sound of your voice than it is in my brain.

SPEAKER_08

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. We all process our voices. I think I talk like this sometimes. Laurel. Hardy.

unknown

Did you?

SPEAKER_08

Wow. I did not know.

SPEAKER_09

So stupid. Uh the Laurel Yanni thing that was like a whole thing.

SPEAKER_08

One of the weirdest moments in the OR is when I was still a student earth anesthetist, and um one of the CRNAs was going around to all the people who were operating and playing the Laurel and Yanni thing and being like, what do you hear? What do you hear? Like in the middle of a surgery. It's very bad. It's very bad. It's not how we are in the operating room, I swear.

SPEAKER_12

Can you say student nurse anesthetists like 40 times fast?

SPEAKER_08

I can't. I can't. Like I introduced myself when I was a still student, I would say I'm just part of your anesthesia team. Student nurse anesthetists. Hello. Anesthetist. Hello. Welcome back. Can you hear me? Do I sound any better? Yeah, you sound louder. Louder? Do I sound louder? I'm using I just switched to Yeti. Yeti? Yeti Watsanabe. Yeti spaghetti. Yeah, it's it's uh it's a deeper, richer, more uncuous tone to your voice.

SPEAKER_05

All right, then uh tell me that comes off normally.

SPEAKER_08

Okay, it does.

SPEAKER_09

This is my new normal. I'm I'm gonna use this mic from now on because I'm tired of other people saying like I can hear you sounds. Sorry, guys.

SPEAKER_08

Uh technical difficulties. I didn't mean to derail your story. Please continue. There's no story.

SPEAKER_12

Uh, we're talking about uh land of eam. Okay.

SPEAKER_08

And uh welcome to the aim stream. This smooth Saturday morning RPG experience. I love I love how there's a lull and there's just a total reboot.

SPEAKER_07

Welcome to the land of eam stream.

SPEAKER_08

Yeah, let's plug it again, boys. Let's plug it again.

SPEAKER_12

Plug it again. All right, so right here in the Gator maze. Uh you were in a red boot bandit hideout. Okay. Red boot. You infiltrated their base. Uh you brought down the pain on them. The barrels, too. Uh the ghost impaled their chief, her murderer.

SPEAKER_08

Yeah, she got vengeance.

SPEAKER_12

Indeed. Justice. Yeah, it's justice. And um Watanabe. And we left off with you guys in the Red Boot bandit hideout. I think George he had like befriended one of them.

SPEAKER_08

Yeah, let's go with that because my thought we didn't have any friends anymore. No, it was was it probably the guy who you used fast friends on them. You did. No, no, no, no, no. I don't have that. Did James use that? Then you cheated. I used oh no, she didn't have fast friends. I forgot. I leveled I leveled up. I forgot I had that. Yeah, yes. You larved up. I larvelled up in the middle of conflict. Not in the middle of conflict, but as we were traveling to the the uh Dili Bob, the hideout. Um, yeah, so I am uh wow, that's awesome. That's a great powerful skill. Once precession become chummy with NPCs out of conflict. So yeah, now we're we're chummy with perhaps the remaining red boots, or like one of the guys who turned on the red boot chief. Yeah, it was one of them. Yeah, yeah. Say uh thanks for thanks for getting our backs and doing the right thing.

SPEAKER_11

Well, yeah, there are rules, you know. It's rules to be a red boot in the quagmash.

SPEAKER_08

Uh we start backing towards the door. Yeah, rules. Definitely. Well, uh, you know, we're gonna leave you to clean up this mess here. Well, you know, actually, before we leave, I got a question for these uh for these red boot guys. Seeing that we uh, you know, maybe did you a favor, you're now in power. Um have you heard any rumors about Tricky Toes hanging out in the lost willows?

Deals With Red Boots And Rumors Of Tricky Toes

SPEAKER_10

Uh, you mean Harn? Yeah.

SPEAKER_12

Well, all I know is that he's probably there.

SPEAKER_08

Uh where exactly, I hold the map and point to Hexas. Yeah. A this hex, a this hex, or this hex.

SPEAKER_01

It's a really detailed map. Cool.

SPEAKER_08

Yeah, yeah, they're selling it uh on uh land of VM.com. Wow. Wall scroll.

SPEAKER_12

I mean, he points to the lost willows and he says, You're gonna have a tough time getting around in there. It's easy to get lost, hence the name.

SPEAKER_08

In the willows. Oh, I just thought that they were willows that people had lost and they could never find the willows again. Like individual willows, like they carved their initials into a tree. Yeah.

SPEAKER_12

Word of advice or a warning, or rather, there's also uh a black Drake that flies around.

SPEAKER_08

Oh that's great.

SPEAKER_10

Okay. Black Drake, lost willows. I think he was disappearing actually.

SPEAKER_08

I'm still standing there. I slowly back out the door. Um, I say, well, guys, uh, what are you gonna do now?

SPEAKER_03

Well, looks like I'm the I'm the chief. Life is good.

SPEAKER_08

Long live the chief. Life is good. He like bugs into the camera. Life is good.

SPEAKER_11

It's good to be the chief, you know what I mean?

SPEAKER_08

Wow, uh Q audience.

SPEAKER_11

He's Mel Brooks.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah, wow.

SPEAKER_08

I like to believe that they're all the uh Dwergs are just look like Mel Brooks.

SPEAKER_12

Do you uh you got any leads on some you know, little outposts of villages to steal from?

SPEAKER_09

This would be an opportunity to screw with a tricky toes, but I don't know what their activities in the Quagmash.

SPEAKER_08

Yeah, I don't know anywhere to really send them. Nor do I want to. Oh, yeah, it's a great place in the Gator Maze, and they all get um we could tell them about the um, wasn't there where do we rescue? There's like a sinking thing we pulled some dude out of. Oh, right.

SPEAKER_09

Um and he was all squirrely about it because it was treasure.

SPEAKER_08

We save saved Brian the Goblin from a sinking door, yeah.

SPEAKER_09

But Brian the Goblin had some treasure, right? So there was treasure down there.

SPEAKER_08

We would tell him about Brian Jones. You know Brian? Uh we saved Brian. We don't really know him.

SPEAKER_01

Oh, Brian when I take my head on that guy. Well he went that way.

SPEAKER_09

I I was I should I'm gonna I'm gonna snitch on him, be like he like went exactly this way, hanging around by an old ruin. Ruin.

SPEAKER_05

All right, boys. Gear up.

SPEAKER_08

We wait for them to leave.

SPEAKER_09

Sorry, Brian. My flaws are ruthless.

SPEAKER_08

There's one viewer out there named Brian who's wondering why you're apologizing to him. He stole your loot. Um, that is a terrible thing. I'm trying to find my flaws. Oh, interesting. Okay. Uh, can we wait for them to leave, Ben? Like, do they just leave? They gear up and get out of there. They go through their fridge. I was gonna see if they had a horde laying around.

SPEAKER_12

Uh I mean, then they're they're not that dumb to just like allow us to be the new Brian. Unless you want to trick them somehow.

SPEAKER_08

Trick them, toe gang. Um can't do I have anything to do? No, no, no. I don't want to waste all my abilities. I don't, yeah, I don't want to.

SPEAKER_09

Yeah, we're about to go to dangerous places.

SPEAKER_08

I don't want to be plum out of skills. Plum out of skills. All right, so uh we'll wish them well with their new conquest of you know, manhunting Brian, and we'll skedaddle.

SPEAKER_12

Okay. Uh I think I think like uh there's not much of the day left.

SPEAKER_08

Yeah, we we could just camp nearby. Yeah. I do it. I camp nearby. Are we able to move one hex in camp or just like that's it? I just don't want to be like prey to them in the morning or something.

SPEAKER_12

Uh they're they're friends with you.

SPEAKER_08

Okay, cool.

SPEAKER_12

Until they find out what we've taken. They'll even they'll even give you some of their uh uh ration for both of you.

SPEAKER_00

Oh, it's so rational.

SPEAKER_08

Thank you. Thank you. Very nice, very nice. What is this? Dried gator? This is delicious. A little gamey though. A little gata jerky, you know what I mean? Got some jerked gata. How many rations do we get, Ben? One each. One each. Look at that. It's Christmas Day, it's hearthlight.

SPEAKER_10

Hearthlight.

SPEAKER_08

Um, I love it. So uh we'll we'll bid them farewell. We'll go set up camp like 100 yards to the south, just the edge of a hex. Like right on the line. We see a line in the ground. In the Landabi, there are actually massive black lines of the ground that are hexes.

SPEAKER_12

Yes, the gods laid down the hexes.

SPEAKER_08

And thus the gods laid down the hexes and labeled them 33.26, 33.27, 33.28 with giant paint brushes. Yeah.

SPEAKER_12

Alright, guys. So you uh you set up camp in the deadly gator maze. Uh what what happens? It's just you two.

SPEAKER_08

I turn to Hooch. I say Hooch is kind of lonely without everyone else. I guess. I mean, it's kind of nice. Yeah. I mean, I just wonder what happened to Bello and Chini.

SPEAKER_12

You hear uh horrible sounds of roaring gators.

SPEAKER_08

No, that's probably what happened to me.

SPEAKER_12

Off in the distance.

SPEAKER_08

Yeah. Well, we gotta go through that tomorrow. That's fine. That's fine. And everything always turns out okay. Maybe I can fly above it, but then you have to figure out how to get through. Uh yeah, that's uh that's that's about uh that's about right.

SPEAKER_02

See, who what are we doing out here, man? I was just asking myself the same thing.

SPEAKER_01

I mean, we could just leave Bogtown forever and leave all these troubles behind us, but uh can't bail on the possibility that my mom's out there somewhere.

SPEAKER_09

No, no, of course not. And uh I don't want other uh other street rats to grow up like I did under the heel of the turkey toes or any gang.

SPEAKER_08

So you're you're what you're gonna adopt them all? No, no, I'm gonna train them how to be effective pickpockets and work for themselves. Yeah, how is that not just making a new gang?

SPEAKER_02

Well, they'll be working for themselves. It won't be any part of an affiliation.

SPEAKER_01

Worst of it, they won't be uh, you know, killing each other like the tricky toes and the offshoots of the tricky toes and the red boots and the soot fingers and the knuckle bones, you name it.

Safe Camp On A Sleeping Hill-Creature

SPEAKER_08

I mean, all those all those all those gangs you named, I worry that they're just gonna gobble up all the little guys you make, the independent contractors. You don't you think casualties of it all?

SPEAKER_01

Maybe you're right. Maybe we should uh open up our own restaurant chain. Nah, I'm just kidding around, I wouldn't want to do that.

SPEAKER_08

Um if you had to open up a restaurant chain, what what would your specialty be? Restaurant chains are lame.

SPEAKER_01

I wouldn't want to do that, but if I did, maybe like a shrimp hut. Shrimp hut, what's a shrimp? It's like a sea bug.

SPEAKER_09

It's delicious. Why would you eat bugs? It's like a lobster cockroach.

SPEAKER_01

Lobster cockroach. Yeah, that sounds terrible. Put those on some Texas toast and you got to sell the sandwich. Texas.

SPEAKER_08

That like actually came out of me. I didn't even mean to.

SPEAKER_05

Texas toast, a little bit of garlic, and uh bam.

SPEAKER_08

The only word I understood there was garlic. Well, there'll be garlic there, and they got the garlic from Gilroy down here, you know? It's really good garlic. Best moral.

SPEAKER_09

That'll be the next sandbox.

SPEAKER_08

Gilroy. Gilroy. Oh my god. Um Gilroy and Centralia. I would love to play in it. Yeah, I would love the smell of playing in Gilroy sandbox. Um Ben, I saw you rolling. Yeah.

SPEAKER_10

He's rolling dread against Segway for our role-playing. Yeah.

SPEAKER_12

No, I mean that the night goes out, uh goes along without incident. Uhsky, roll up your rations, heal up for the next day.

SPEAKER_08

Oh, yeah. Hmm. Should do that. Is Ben froze? Oh, he's back. Okay. He froze for just a second, but I think he's good. I do not use all of my ration. Nor do I. That's great. I I look down half expecting a uh chicken with a lizard fused on its back to eat the rest of my rations, and then I snap out of my past life experience.

SPEAKER_12

Now, James, I recall that you like almost died last time, so I'm not sure what your courage is at, but uh yeah, I'm not either.

SPEAKER_09

I think I'm at two.

SPEAKER_08

I think I'm at two, but maybe someone can confirm or deny. I mean, scrolling up, it looks like it went. Yeah, two is fine. I don't know where mine is roll d6. Lacka D6. Oof, that'll do it.

SPEAKER_12

A nice whoppin' one courage for a night of rest in the gate of maze.

SPEAKER_07

Solid uh three out of twelve for going into the gate of maze. No idea how much what could happen.

SPEAKER_12

Yeah, so uh brand new day of travel. Got the nice uh peaty smell, wafting uh the nostrils as you scorch into the gator mage. Gator Gator Mage.

SPEAKER_08

The Gator Mage. That'd be the most terrifying thing. Yeah, he's the king of the Gator Maize, the Gator Mage. He has reptilian and amphibious uh Vanguard and spells a land of Eeme.

SPEAKER_09

Uh George, make a note of this because I'm already understanding like what your quest will be.

SPEAKER_08

Gaze of the Gator Mage. The Gaze of the Gator. I we I can picture the cover art for it right now.

SPEAKER_12

Um, so you guys get into a place that looks like uh the water turns like like a dark red.

SPEAKER_10

Ooh. Like like ew.

SPEAKER_01

Like the last guy that jumped in got mulched by gators.

SPEAKER_12

I mean, it looks like that, but that's impossible, right? Like the whole area can't just be tinged with red.

SPEAKER_06

Interesting.

SPEAKER_12

Um make a travel check, one of you.

SPEAKER_08

Go for it. You already got your one out of the ten. Hey, I'll take it.

SPEAKER_12

Noise. Where are you moving to?

SPEAKER_03

I don't know.

SPEAKER_08

Um wanna go directly south, southwest. Yeah, like south, maybe. Sure, sure, south. That's fine.

SPEAKER_12

And James, you can uh search for resources of your choosing.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, I'm gonna do some fishing.

SPEAKER_12

Fisher obviously. Fisher price.

SPEAKER_09

It's wilderness. Fisher King. That's a four.

SPEAKER_08

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Uh all you find is a gator on your arm.

SPEAKER_12

A four. I believe that is uh you get unwanted attention.

SPEAKER_01

That's what I thought.

SPEAKER_12

Classic.

SPEAKER_09

That is a classic.

SPEAKER_12

All right. Uh the next portion of the day.

SPEAKER_09

I'm the worst woodsman the land of dream has ever seen.

SPEAKER_08

Well, we are city slickers. It's true. On our way to find Curly's gold.

SPEAKER_12

I mean, you guys can put your points into skills, you know, that's a thing.

SPEAKER_03

That's crazy.

SPEAKER_08

What's wrong with you, bitch?

SPEAKER_03

You're out of your mind.

SPEAKER_08

199. Are you out of your mind? You're out of your mind. Uh next next leg is me, and I'm gonna roll a rel check.

SPEAKER_06

Look at that leg.

SPEAKER_08

Do you want to use a quest point? Yes. Alright, do it. Quest point use. And like, what's wrong with you guys?

SPEAKER_12

No, that's fine.

SPEAKER_08

Yeah. I want a discovery that's gonna derail us yet again. Yeah, I I enjoy discoveries. I like going DZ. Discoveries roll a D I can do it in a row. He be go D Z at the Discovery Zone.

SPEAKER_12

Um, okay. Okay. You approach a thick grove of trees.

SPEAKER_08

Uh GM clarification is that a thick with two C's or a CK? I refuse to answer that. Just curvaceous trunks, man.

SPEAKER_12

Um, and you you see a creature that you've never gazed upon before, and it's like uh at first you're not even sure that it is a creature, but you can soon see that it's snoring and uh like this hill of trees is like you know, undulating with each breath.

SPEAKER_10

Hooch, hooch, look, it's XP.

SPEAKER_12

Wow. Uh chipmunks scurry over its back, and birds are tweeting. Um and you see that uh yeah, this looks like a nice comfortable place. It's like it snores kind of lulling you into a uh feeling it's like rhythmic around the sea, you know.

SPEAKER_08

Yeah, say hooch. I mean, we've already traveled two legs. You want to just call it put up our feet for a little bit and have a hexa hunting and fishing? I'm down for this, sleep for the night. Yeah, say uh what this is this is like a you can make a lore check. Yeah, what kind of creature is this? A Silverman lorry check. Uh I don't think it's a creature. I think it's just the quag mash. Alright, it's not a good check, it's probably like a one, if not a three. I didn't know I was Silori.

SPEAKER_12

Yeah, I don't I don't know what that means. You uh you think it's I just think yeah, a fairy is just part of the it's a fair big you're like really sure that this is a fairy.

SPEAKER_08

All right. This is what fairies look like. Uh they're big. Okay. Uh trees. Uh I mean, any minute now it's gonna start flying. Just wait. Can we like walk on it? We are walking on it. Oh, we're on it already. Oh, the whole hex is this thing. I don't know if that's true.

SPEAKER_12

No, I know you're not you're not like it's unclear if you're walking on it currently, but there's you could see that there's like a bigger mound in front of you.

SPEAKER_08

Can we forage on it? Yeah, I like it.

SPEAKER_12

Uh yeah, you will still still take the uh follow the same appropriate dread.

SPEAKER_08

Oh, okay. Uh we're both gonna forage, yeah. Uh I should we forage separately and risk double unwanted attention, or should I just assist you? I think we should risk a double unwanted attention. Is that how it works, Ben? I feel like that should be how it works.

SPEAKER_12

Yeah, and you're already already have one.

SPEAKER_08

We may triple it. Yeah, it's just trip triple down, triple down. That is a six. That is unwanted attention. Oh, double down. Double down. I mean, I got a four, so I think four to six. Now it's triple down. Is that triple and wanted attention?

SPEAKER_12

It is, and uh I'm so excited.

SPEAKER_09

I'm so excited. I choose not to use a quest point because this is unprecedented.

SPEAKER_12

Actually, sorry. Um yeah uh James, your earlier check, I think like three to five is just you get nothing. There's there's no unwanted attention. Do not oh so now uh now you have one one unwanted detention, but you also get a resource of your choice. What what were you looking for?

SPEAKER_08

I I like that, that's cool. Uh I always forgot all about that for plants.

SPEAKER_12

Okay, so you can roll that. Roll a D12.

SPEAKER_08

Number four. Four is the number.

SPEAKER_01

You found a dark shroom. Interesting. Just like the tower.

SPEAKER_12

Pirates of dark shroom. Dark shroom is uh see what it's useful for. Dark shroom. Something called Shadow Walk Potion.

SPEAKER_09

Ooh. Shadow Walk Potion. That's kind of cool.

SPEAKER_12

You can also eat it and become sick for 1d4 days.

SPEAKER_09

Oh, your pick.

Black Lake Chaos And A Knight In Peril

SPEAKER_08

I mean it's your pick. I choose you. Uh well, Ben, what would we need to craft the Shadow Walk Potion? Or is it a one ingredient deal? It's like boil it, smash it, stick it in a stew.

SPEAKER_12

So it is a witch thing that you can't do on your own. Ah, okay.

SPEAKER_08

There is a witch here.

SPEAKER_12

Witch.

SPEAKER_08

Wow.

SPEAKER_12

Blinking cave wand. Incher Icar.

SPEAKER_08

Well, sorry, what kind of cave icher?

SPEAKER_12

Blinking cave incher.

SPEAKER_08

Blinking cave incher.

SPEAKER_01

Incher or icker? Both. Incher Icar. And incher.

SPEAKER_05

Little worm about this big. It blinks at you, it lives in a cave. You gotta squeeze out a drop from its butt.

SPEAKER_08

Yeah. Just roll it up like a tube of toothpaste. It's toothpaste in the land of eam. Is there toothpaste in the land of eam? Yeah. Only Glisten, though.

unknown

Wow.

SPEAKER_08

What flavor do they do in Land of Eam? Is it like mint the default flavor still? Or is it something like cinnamon water? You say dog water, Ben.

SPEAKER_05

Hot dog water. Oh, bog water. We guess like a donkey tooth steak. Like a donkey to flavor.

SPEAKER_01

Oh, that's rough.

SPEAKER_04

Tuna and turkey. Come on.

SPEAKER_12

Uh yeah, so you're crawling all over this uh giant creature. And it seems to when you pluck the dark shroom from it, it seems to like uh jostle a little bit.

SPEAKER_08

Jostle weed in. Thank you. Thank you. It's uh he's uh Flyn maker up in uh munch, you know?

SPEAKER_12

Yeah, and he's totally not problematic.

SPEAKER_08

Not problematic at all. Not a member of the Tricky Too Gang at all. Oh uh everyone's a member of Tricky Too Gang. Um, so I guess I guess we're gonna all right. So, James, do we light a fire on this undulating kind of mound? I don't know. Like, like, are we are we so stupid as to like do this? It's possible. Let's roll it. Let's let the dice roll aside. Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right, all right. Hi, uh D100. I'll have you roll, James. Hi. I'll roll a lore. We light the fire on the to determine if we're stupid enough to light it. All right, there you go. There you go. I like it. I like it. Yeah. That's weird. Yeah, yeah. I say, uh, hooch, what's going on? What are you doing? Help me light the fire.

SPEAKER_01

It'll be fine.

SPEAKER_08

We're gonna sleep so good tonight. It's nice, like the ground is warm, it's like like a waterbed.

SPEAKER_12

So you are lighting a fire on the thing? Oh, yeah, like a campfire on top of it.

SPEAKER_08

Yeah, like we're we're just making camp for the night. You're lucky we're not staking a tent.

SPEAKER_12

Okay, um the whole thing starts to shake. Um make a nimbleness check.

SPEAKER_08

Sometimes Ben is just exasperated with the levels of our stupidity. I succeed. I did I just roll a four? I did roll a four. I am not that nimble. Can I start flying though, Ben?

SPEAKER_12

Uh, it doesn't matter because uh this big arm just rises out from the dirt. Oh, there's like branches all over it and it slaps you.

SPEAKER_08

Just across the face.

SPEAKER_12

It's like so large that you just get swept up in it.

SPEAKER_08

Like it's swatting a fly or something.

SPEAKER_12

Getting hit by a tree.

SPEAKER_08

Yeah.

SPEAKER_12

You take 10 dread.

SPEAKER_08

I'm not unconscious.

SPEAKER_07

We shouldn't have let the dice decide.

SPEAKER_12

Uh this thing rolls over, like extinguishing the fire.

SPEAKER_06

Bad day, bad day, bad day.

SPEAKER_12

And you get a uh a glimpse of its face.

SPEAKER_08

Um look friendly if it weren't lit on fire.

SPEAKER_12

It's still sleeping. Oh like you've like moved the entire earth.

SPEAKER_08

I love it. How how big is this thing, Ben? Like for a frame of reference. Give us a frame of reference.

SPEAKER_12

It's like a hill.

SPEAKER_08

Oh, wow.

SPEAKER_12

It's like a big mound. Yeah. Gigantor with things growing on it.

SPEAKER_08

Wow. Um, so you just rolled over and put out the fire. What's his belly look like?

SPEAKER_12

Mud. Yeah, it looks like the earth and like just greenery growing out of it. It's like hard to tell, but you can you see like a big mouth open up and then it closes, and it's like hard to see again.

SPEAKER_06

I say it's a cave.

SPEAKER_05

Uh usually I'll meet you halfway guy, but uh that's this that's that's no cave. Wow.

SPEAKER_08

Um I um yeah, dude. Let's uh there's no way to communicate with it, I think. It seems like it's just sleeping. That's what we should have done instead of lighting a fire on top of it.

SPEAKER_10

Yeah.

SPEAKER_08

Or uh Brendo marches back on top of it and rolls out his bedroll and goes to sleep.

SPEAKER_12

Yeah, actually, you guys are completely safe sleeping here. Um not I'm not gonna roll a wandering intrude or anything.

SPEAKER_08

Hey, look at that. No one's foolish enough to intrude upon the peaceful slumber of this thing.

SPEAKER_12

Camping at this site will be safe, comfortable, and magical both now and the future.

SPEAKER_08

Wow, that's cool. Magical now in the uh wait where we're 3624, got it added to the list. Remember that's where we'll camp next on the way back. Always gotta come through here.

SPEAKER_09

That's uh one of the rare abilities that we uh rare times we'll be able to defeat terrible roles, right?

SPEAKER_12

But you managed to make it unsafe the first time.

SPEAKER_08

Yeah, that's weird. Yeah, hooch looks up, and Brendo has hand painted a sign that says do not light fires here, and he's about to like hammer it into the earth.

SPEAKER_06

Oh my god, wait! No, no, no, no, no, no.

SPEAKER_08

Uh he doesn't. I don't do that. Um, but yeah, let's let's rest up. I need to recover the 10 courage that I lost. I know. I need to recover courage too. Um, we have cold dog water soup. So see if I use a ration up.

unknown

Oh no.

SPEAKER_08

Oh no. Uh was it a one or a two for rations? Yeah. Uh yeah, we both finish our ration. Dang. That gated turkey was sure good. Yeah, we'll we'll fish. We'll fish along the way. Yeah. Oh, we could have had we still have road bread. That's good. And I'll get like really hungry and and eat the dark shroom and get really sick. I mean, one d4 days. It's the worst could happen. Days. Yeah. All right. Wild, wild stuff. Wild stuff. Okay. Wild wieldstuff.

SPEAKER_12

Wild and great. You guys can heal uh d6. I'll give you a d6 plus one because of the magical nature of your campsite.

SPEAKER_08

I am up to 11 out of 14.

SPEAKER_12

So uh who's gonna roll that uh travel check over?

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, yeah, I will roll. Okay. It's a four. It's fine.

SPEAKER_08

Four.

SPEAKER_12

Roll that D window.

SPEAKER_08

Yep. We're going to Los Willows, right? Or or were we gonna meet up with Fran at the Quagmash Tower or something? Is that a thing? Yeah, that's where we're at it. Yeah. Okay, cool.

SPEAKER_12

Twenty-six.

SPEAKER_08

Yes. Twenty-six gators come out of the maze.

SPEAKER_02

Twenty-six gators come out of the maze. Twenty-six gators in the maze.

SPEAKER_01

Take one gang, pass it around, twenty gators in the maze.

SPEAKER_12

You see someone in like like oversized chunky armor thrashing around in a black lake. And like the water's like thrashing. It looks like you know who's ever in there is having a lot of trouble.

SPEAKER_02

Ahoy there. Are you in need?

SPEAKER_12

He can't even hear you. It's like thrashing and you know the dinner has huge water on. I mean, huge helmet on.

SPEAKER_08

That's uh uh I'm gonna swashbuckle. Oh sorry, Ben, the water he's standing in, what does it look like? Is it is it like attacking him? Is it deep?

SPEAKER_12

It looks like it could be pretty deep. It's black, so you can't see down into it. And it is like rolling, like some something big is thrashing this guy around.

SPEAKER_08

Oh my gosh. And he's how deep into it, like uh he's standing enough, but like swinging at the water.

SPEAKER_12

No, he's like flailing at the surface.

SPEAKER_08

Oh. Um I'm gonna s use swashbuckler to create uh a vine hanging from a tree over the or the lake, like a sturdy vine.

SPEAKER_10

Okay.

SPEAKER_08

That maybe we could swing out on and rescue him because we're so strong. Yeah. This is gonna go poorly. I believe in you.

SPEAKER_06

Uh I'm gonna swash that buckle. Buckle that swash.

Seth Grimtusk’s Quest And The Black Drake

SPEAKER_08

Ooh. Uh let's see what my bonus is to perception. It's a plus one, so I give it another plus one to make it a six.

SPEAKER_10

Okay. Uh success with a twist.

SPEAKER_08

With the quest points, two out of four. Maybe the um vine is uh far out and difficult to reach, but it would get us to where he is.

SPEAKER_12

Yeah, I'm gonna say that uh Brendo, you could fly to it, but I was thinking maybe like it would be that it might have been possible without actually getting into the water.

SPEAKER_08

Yeah, can I try flying to get the vine and then flying the end of the vine to the guy in the water? Can I how far into the water is he?

SPEAKER_09

Could I like reach him with my man catcher and try to man catch him and pull him out?

SPEAKER_12

No. Uh Brundo, you you could you definitely do the first part of that.

SPEAKER_08

Like fly the vine to him.

SPEAKER_12

Fly to the vine.

SPEAKER_08

Fly to the vine, okay.

SPEAKER_12

And then given the nature of your flying, I guess. Um you'll just have to get close into the thick of the thrashing.

SPEAKER_08

I would do it. I would try to rescue this guy. I'll say, Ho thou adventurer!

SPEAKER_00

I'm flying you a vine. A vine, he says. They call it a vine. The code of vine.

SPEAKER_12

Alright, make a nimbleness check as you fly into the fracas.

SPEAKER_08

Fracas in, y'all! Um, can I act? Make this an acting check to act like I know what I'm doing? So I get advantage on the uh it's a seven. It's a seven. Take it.

SPEAKER_12

Alright. Um he grabs onto the vine. Uh but you see a tentacle wrapped around his legs.

SPEAKER_08

Oh boy. Can I um I'm gonna use slingshot and see if I can't like bullseye that tentacle to make it like go to the guy. Nice.

SPEAKER_12

Oh, like wicket the ewok.

SPEAKER_05

No.

SPEAKER_12

Oh what's your total though? I mean, is it three?

SPEAKER_09

It's it is three, but I still want that to happen. It's like great.

SPEAKER_12

Um what is the plus though?

SPEAKER_08

Um it doesn't hit the tentacle. Maybe it loosens the buckle on his boot that the tentacle is wrapped around. It uh knocks a sleeping gator like right in the head, waking me up in the water. You know what? Add something to the fire, add fool to the fire.

SPEAKER_12

All right, yeah. All right, um, let's get into a conflict. So at the top of the round, you've got a gator, you've got some creature with a tentacle in the water you can't fully see. And uh Brendo, this armored knight is grabbing onto the vine, and you're on the vine.

SPEAKER_08

You're too heavy, you're too heavy. Um, I will fly off the vine. But we're in conflict, you said, right? Okay.

SPEAKER_10

Let me think here.

SPEAKER_12

You know, perks up and moves towards the movement in the water.

SPEAKER_08

Uh, can I use narrator? Um, yeah. Uh I say, and then with a yoink and a spring and a strain, the bold knight pulled hard on the vine like a chain uh to make him kind of like get out of the water and swing out. Nice, beautiful, and it rhymed. It rhymed. Shonda rhymes over here. Sorry. Shawna rhymes the bard. Uh guy, what kind of check is this? Is that inspired check? So it's gonna be a plus three. I believe I believe we're in an eight with a plus one quest point to make it a nine. Okay, quest points, baby. Just burn it through quest points.

SPEAKER_06

Oh my goodness, gracious.

SPEAKER_12

All right, the knight uh yeah, shoots up on the vine, climbs like a uh a kid and a gym rope uh rope, okay? Jim Rope. Uh my name is Jim Rope.

SPEAKER_10

How is that not a name in the Lana Beam? It might be. It is now. So he is hanging there.

SPEAKER_12

You're flying. Hooch, what are you doing?

SPEAKER_09

That's a good question.

SPEAKER_00

Um basically you wrestling the gator that you woke up.

SPEAKER_09

No, no, I'm gonna run from the gator. I'm gonna like run to the can I try to get into the tree where the vine is hanging down, like maybe like onto a bow and help hoist them up.

SPEAKER_10

Take a bow. Yeah. Uh make a nimbleness check. That I can do. 11.

SPEAKER_12

Okay. Wow. It's such that uh it's gonna take another round for you to like actually help the guy just because you're climbing and then like navigating the branches.

SPEAKER_09

Yeah, that's cool. I'm like, I feel like I'm like Disney's Robin Hood up in the tree.

SPEAKER_12

Um I guess it's uh then the the gator attacks the thing in the water.

SPEAKER_08

Nice. It's our friendly gator.

SPEAKER_12

Successfully. Uh yes. So this thing is like completely absorbed in a gator fight. You see, it's it's like got black and red tentacles.

SPEAKER_04

Ooh, it's a dinoga.

SPEAKER_12

Something alive down here. Wow.

SPEAKER_05

Get in there. I don't care what you smell.

SPEAKER_12

Um so they're fighting. And uh on the next round, James, you can try to do something up from there.

SPEAKER_08

All right, yeah. I'm gonna I'm I want to try to hoist them up, like like pull them up to the tree branch that I'm standing on.

SPEAKER_12

Um Brendo, you can help with this. Uh if you want, you can both like do a mic check. You can add to his might check.

SPEAKER_08

But can I subtract from his mic check is the world concern.

SPEAKER_12

Um no, all you gotta do is if unless you can use the else. Yeah, you roll a six and add one to his.

SPEAKER_08

No, you know what? I'm gonna uh hold off because I might use owed if he fails it.

SPEAKER_10

Okay. Use your last quest point. Oh, sorry, book.

SPEAKER_08

No, no, I I haven't used ode yet. Oh, owed, sorry. Ode. Ode ode. Ode.

SPEAKER_12

Ode. So, Jimmy, let's see that.

SPEAKER_08

Show me your roll, baby. That's a 10. I am mighty. Nice.

SPEAKER_12

You hoist this guy right up into the tree. Still below you, there's a gator fight, and you see for the first time clearly that this is uh well, make a lore check. It looks like a squid or something.

SPEAKER_02

Oh, geez. Oh my gosh. Um it's a one.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, it looks like a squid or something.

SPEAKER_05

Hey, what's that squid thing down there? Armored man?

SPEAKER_11

I don't know. Never seen it in these parts before, that's for sure.

SPEAKER_07

Us neither.

SPEAKER_11

Thanks. Thanks for saving me.

SPEAKER_02

No problem. What are you doing out here anyway?

SPEAKER_11

Searching for something.

SPEAKER_01

Oh, yeah, so are we? My name is Seth Grimtusk.

SPEAKER_10

Seth Grimtusk. My name is Hooch. That's Brendo. Hail. Seth. We should probably get the heck out of here while uh really getting the good. These two kaijus fight each other.

SPEAKER_12

Yeah, you guys can uh carefully cross back.

SPEAKER_08

Um I I turn to I turn to Hooch and I say, wait, do you see that on the horizon? And uh I I look over and and there's uh two goblins, actually two shrimp. No, two goblins in a in a mecca, like going together, like working in tandem, and it's like gonna come fight the kaijus. Wow, because it's Pacific Rim.

SPEAKER_12

I was like really trying to follow what you were saying.

SPEAKER_08

Ben, you should know better.

SPEAKER_05

One of them like starts out really small and then he like becomes huge.

SPEAKER_08

Yeah, it's true.

SPEAKER_12

Uh all right, so you guys get get out of the tree. Um he takes off his his helmet, and you see that he's a bug bear. He's swamp water.

SPEAKER_08

I start picking leeches off his face for him and eating them because they're a bird. Because I'm a bird, yeah. I just actually use my beat. Ooh, if you don't mind, boy. Yeah, it's a friendship ritual.

SPEAKER_11

Can't thank you enough. Uh how can I repay you?

SPEAKER_07

Well, uh, you know, we're headed to um Quagspire. Got any info?

SPEAKER_01

Uh you know, if you got any information or if you happen to be headed that way, maybe we could travel together in safety.

SPEAKER_11

I'll join you. Not going that way. I'm I don't know where I'm going. I'm searching for a lost relic.

SPEAKER_08

Ah, what uh what sort of relic? Sounds like a quest for us. I want the relic, so uh there's always other ancillary treasure with a relic. Everybody knows that. Fair enough.

SPEAKER_10

How much is it worth?

SPEAKER_12

I'm looking for something called the worm slayer's tooth.

SPEAKER_01

The worm slayer's tooth.

SPEAKER_08

Never heard of it. Uh so so let me get this straight. It's a guy who slew a worm, slain a worm, slayed a worm, and it's his tooth.

SPEAKER_11

It's like a magical sword.

SPEAKER_08

It's a really small sword if it's the size of a tooth. It's like a crown.

SPEAKER_11

I aim to kill a Drake, you see.

SPEAKER_01

This wouldn't happen to be the black Drake of the Lost Willows.

SPEAKER_11

The very same. Really?

SPEAKER_01

Because we happen to be having that. Yeah.

SPEAKER_11

I would recommend against that.

SPEAKER_01

Well, we've got business there.

SPEAKER_11

Putrifex is a mighty warrior.

SPEAKER_01

Oh, yeah. It's like a real monster. That's not like a oh, it's a lobster Johnson gang.

SPEAKER_05

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_09

Lobster Johnson, the scourge of the Skywags track. That's like a high fantasy enemy. This that's like that's we can't handle it.

SPEAKER_08

Yeah, this is too real. This is getting too real, Ben. Um, well, say, well, it's yeah, uh, what what is okay? First of all, we may be able to help you in the lost willows with putrefacts. Second of all, if we can retrieve the relic.

SPEAKER_09

Which if we if if he can help us retrieve a fugitive that we're after.

SPEAKER_08

Harn beard, remember?

SPEAKER_09

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_08

Twin beard. Yeah, harnbeard twin fang. Tricky toes. Who is this you speak of?

SPEAKER_01

He's the tricky toe boss, the rune in the bog uh town. And uh, we think that we can capture this guy, we can squeeze him for information and then destroy the organization from within.

SPEAKER_11

Heady stuff. Intrigue. I don't like it.

SPEAKER_01

That's why we need you. Because you're the kind of guy that doesn't like that stuff, but you can punch real good. Real good. As you can see, we're not tough, but we're smart. Yes, you proved that.

SPEAKER_08

I high five printo. It it knocks me out of the tree. He's only saved by his wings. Oh my god, oh my god. Why would you hit me like that?

SPEAKER_09

Hey, sorry, Chief.

SPEAKER_08

Um start preening my feathers.

SPEAKER_07

Uh what is we'll help you take out the dragon using our wits. You use your brawn, and we'll do the same in the lost willows for Twinbeard. What do you say? And I'll put my hand out to like hero tug him.

SPEAKER_12

His hand and forearm is like so much bigger than yours. It's like it, you're you hero tug his finger.

SPEAKER_08

He's just like, he's holding like my shoulder. Yeah.

SPEAKER_12

You now you now like get a better look at him, and like part of his armor on his leg has been crushed, and there's blood, and he like just doesn't seem to notice it. Hey man, like uh, you need some medical attention.

SPEAKER_08

That's not your blood, right? I don't know. I don't know. Wouldn't have noticed. Doesn't taste like my blood. Might not be my blood. It'll be fine. Um can I he has more courage? Soothing. I soothing music him. Probably doesn't matter, but I'm gonna do it anyways. Oh, it matters. Everything matters, George. This is the land of meaning counts in small amounts, you know. Uh I roll a d6. It's the land of me. I heal him for five courage, particularly his leg. I just like shred furiously at his leg on my guitar.

SPEAKER_12

You really know how to make it feel not magical, you know what I mean?

SPEAKER_08

But it's but it's it's not magical, it's trim technology. Or or or wondrous. Or uh I mean, I'm still shredding furiously on it. It doesn't change the fact that I'm shredding on my guitar man. You're the only one who made it not wondrous. That's a wondrous feat to me.

SPEAKER_12

No, I just mean that you're like aiming at his leg with your music.

SPEAKER_08

I didn't even process that part, man. Yeah, like takes it does it, it's like so not majestic.

SPEAKER_07

It's just like I'll shoot him with my music laser.

SPEAKER_05

That's how bard music works. He's an overwatched character. Wow.

SPEAKER_08

Um, this guy is like looking at me while I'm like playing my kitar really close to his leg.

SPEAKER_01

I think this is how it works. Uh we watched the bard around together. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

I love it. Where'd you go to the show? Would you be happier?

SPEAKER_08

Would you be happier if like treble clefts come out of my instrument and become sutures to stitch his leg together? Would that be more magical?

SPEAKER_12

Magical wasn't the word.

SPEAKER_08

I I know what you're getting at. It's just like it's like very, very technical. Like you've pointed at a leg to heal instead of like, you know, I just play a song and it's soothing his spirits and curves. It's like crazy. No, right. No, I I I I I'm too literal. I'm too literal minded.

SPEAKER_12

It's years of conditioning.

SPEAKER_08

Yeah. Very Pavalo.

SPEAKER_12

Got you MP. Yeah, I already standing out.

SPEAKER_08

Um, and what are we doing?

SPEAKER_12

That was just the first part of the day. Um, yeah.

SPEAKER_08

Uh we look down into the water and see if there's a victor of the fight. Which kaiju has won?

SPEAKER_01

It's just a gator floating belly up. Every bone in its body crushed.

SPEAKER_08

Yeah, we see like a tendrils like or tentacles wrapping around it and pulling it under.

SPEAKER_12

The gator only wins if he gets uh oh nine or above nine or nine or above.

SPEAKER_08

I like those odds. Never tell me the odds. It's a 25% chance of successes.

SPEAKER_05

Whoa! The gator pulls it out.

SPEAKER_09

That's amazing. This gator is like 30 feet long.

SPEAKER_10

Yeah.

SPEAKER_12

We come out of the pool and it's it just has like several long tentacles in its mouth.

SPEAKER_01

It's like it's like like a seagull eating the hot dog. It's like yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_08

It it looks at us with one eye and it starts chuckling like Thanks for the heads up.

SPEAKER_09

I high-five it and we'll leave.

SPEAKER_02

It eats you. Bites off my hand. Yeah.

SPEAKER_12

Alright. Uh next part of the day. You're not too far away from Quag Spire, but it's gonna take you know, unless you push.

SPEAKER_08

It's gonna I don't want to push. I don't want to push. I want to learn why this guy's hunting. He wants to push, but yeah, he's hunting drain. Yeah, he wants to push. Is it actually what did that musical artist ever do to you, sir?

SPEAKER_12

Well Brundo, make a travel check.

SPEAKER_08

I thought you're gonna say make a make a drink, make a courage check, like a yeah, take a toll vitality.

SPEAKER_06

Yeah, uh make a travel check. All right, travel check, travel check. It says six. I will make a travel check, I'll make a travel check. Seven. I will make a travel travel.

SPEAKER_12

Up in the road, make a uh d6, make a d6, like a d6. I make a d6.

SPEAKER_08

I make a one.

SPEAKER_06

Like a good name.

SPEAKER_08

We turn back around and we're on top of this hill. So, anyways, there's this really cool hill. Oh, we're here. Oh, here. It's uh make camp.

SPEAKER_12

I start lighting a fire. So you make no progress today. Um you kind of get turned in a circle in the same hex.

SPEAKER_08

We're all like fighting with each other which way to go.

SPEAKER_12

You guys probably probably got you know lost in conversation. What are you guys talking about with the bugbear?

SPEAKER_08

Actually, actually, Ben, I want to believe this. Um, because of his leg injury, he s walks slightly to the right, and he's just we're just following him, and he leads us in a circle because he's not walking straight. He thought he was following you. Yeah, yeah. We didn't really understand what it was going on. Oh, I uh we thought you were we were following you. Uh yeah, you're the one who knows. Wait, where is the relic, anyways, buddy? I mean, where is the theoretical relic at?

SPEAKER_11

I mean, that's a good question.

SPEAKER_10

Oh.

SPEAKER_11

I don't know where it exactly.

SPEAKER_12

Somewhere in the quagmash, I thought.

SPEAKER_08

Oh, so you've just been going a hidden dungeon somewhere. I think it's where that brand guy came out of. Maybe, actually. We must rescue where that hidden place is. We might have just sent a tricky toe gang there.

SPEAKER_09

Yeah, the Red Boot gang.

SPEAKER_08

The Red Boot gang. Yeah, there's just so many gangs, they're all the same to me. Red Boot Bandits. A lot of feet gangs. It's kind of weird. It is.

SPEAKER_09

Actually, I think that's actually probably exactly where it is, man. And we did just send the whole red boot gang there. Uh, should we go back? I would go back. Well, he needs it to kill the Drake, and we gotta kill the Drake to get Harnbeard.

Orcish Ransom, Milo The Fame Hunter, New Leads

SPEAKER_08

I say harnbeard every time, every time. And I hate to say it, weren't we supposed to meet up with Fran and Bellu and Cheney? Yeah, yeah. I say, You guys are well too hexed. We're almost yeah, we should go finish that off. I say, well, well, we tell we tell him we're I don't know. Let's should we camp for the night? First of all, yeah, let's camp for the night and we'll walk him through it while we're camping. So start a fire. I'll play some jams. Uh.red. Thank you. Voar.red to you too. Um start a fire, play some jams, and uh we settle in for the night. And I turn to this guy and I say, Seth, can call you Seth. Yeah. Seth, uh, we rescued a goblin named Brian from this sinking door. Uh he said there was a lot of treasure back where he was spelunking. I wonder if that might not have been one of the ways into the place you're looking for. I think he said he came from a different direction, right?

SPEAKER_09

Yeah, he came from a different entrance. Which we don't know where it is.

SPEAKER_11

It's a lead, that's for sure.

SPEAKER_09

Um we uh right now we're on our way to the quagspire because we've we have to explain, like we can't go there yet, but like fast forward five minutes, yeah. Yeah. Um like let us tell you our plan, like what we're what we're out here doing. So we're looking for Twinbeard, we're trying to gain enough um help to capture Twinbeard, and the only way that we're doing that is by making deals like we did with you to help other folks. Now, if we can help these folks at Quagspire, um, I'm sure that they would help you acquire the relic. And then we could all get Twinbeard together and rid Bogtown of the tricky toes once and for all. Would you be willing to do that?

SPEAKER_11

Who are these other people you're talking about?

SPEAKER_05

Uh, a couple of mushroom guys and uh a lady whose whose objectives align with our own.

SPEAKER_08

She's forgotten.

SPEAKER_11

Yeah, what are you doing at the quagspire?

SPEAKER_08

Brando, uh, we agree to ask for a friend. I I start reading it back from my my personal journal. Oh, yeah, Fran is a puddle jumper of the puddle jumpers association who wants to fully explore the quag mesh and uh make it safe. So we're we're helping her. I forget why we wanted to go to the quagspire though. I did not write that down.

SPEAKER_12

I think it was just to help her.

SPEAKER_08

Yeah, it was just to help her once to go in. She's gonna pay you. Yeah, right. She's gonna pay us or give us a way to triver. Weren't we gonna get a boat from uh the guy over at Old Chum Bucket? The old Chummin Bucket. Only if we catch all the fish. Oh, yeah. We've got one.

SPEAKER_03

We got one, yeah.

SPEAKER_08

And uh yeah, I mean that's kind of what the deal is, I suppose.

SPEAKER_12

Uh Seth says, Well, sounds like the best lead I've had in a while, so I'll join up with you.

SPEAKER_11

I'm not rushing headlong into future faxes domain.

SPEAKER_08

Yeah, I think you'd wanna really um prepare get your yeah, get your preparations done.

SPEAKER_11

That monster's been terrorizing the quagmash for years. He's gotta be stopped.

SPEAKER_08

Sounds like you have a personal vendetta with him. Did he did he take something from you?

unknown

I took my foot.

SPEAKER_01

I start playing. Laser's foot, quick! Lasers.

SPEAKER_09

Um you took your foot, eh? Your other foot?

SPEAKER_01

It's got like a wooden leg. My friend. Same as foot.

SPEAKER_11

Oh.

SPEAKER_10

Uh took your foot.

SPEAKER_08

Was it was your friend just a foot? Snamous foot.

SPEAKER_11

What don't what don't you understand?

SPEAKER_08

Uh named his friend Foot? His imaginary friend.

SPEAKER_07

God, it's like Harry and Lloyd.

SPEAKER_08

And we kept saying we're gonna be smart.

SPEAKER_11

Okay.

SPEAKER_08

Foot lampright. Foot lampright.

SPEAKER_11

Well, well, his name was actually P Foot Lamp Lampright. He was a gnome.

SPEAKER_08

Uh he's about this big, yeah. Okay. Pony hat, rosy cheeks. He was a gnome.

SPEAKER_09

P Foot. Yeah, losing your friends can be pretty awful, you know?

unknown

Yeah.

SPEAKER_09

You ever lost anybody?

SPEAKER_08

Ferendo has. I start sobbing, telling about my mom. We spend the rest of the night recounting my entire tale. And that's why we gotta take out the tricky toes.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, I hate him.

SPEAKER_08

I hate him for you. That's good. I hate him. That's good, big guy. I'm like massaging his shoulders, trying to pump out the fight. Let the hate flow through.

SPEAKER_11

Hey, uh, while you're back there, you think you'd help me take off this armor?

SPEAKER_08

Yeah, no problem. We spend 40 years doffing his armor.

SPEAKER_12

Yeah, it's like most of your day now.

SPEAKER_08

Yeah. It takes exactly two travel checks to Don and Duff armor.

SPEAKER_12

All right. You guys are on the same page now with Seth Grimtusk. Page of Revenge.

SPEAKER_08

We're building our party, George. We're building the party. A couple of monks. That's my favorite party and the puddle jumper. Uh, I want really desperately to uh get a chicken, though. Well, we'll get a chicken. You just want to. I want to recreate the magic we had. Just chasing that dragon, you know.

SPEAKER_12

Well, that chicken, you know what I mean?

SPEAKER_08

Uh chicken dragon. Dragon chicken. It technically was technically. Um perfect. Uh I love it. I love all of it. All right, let's let's keep going. Wookie dok. Uh yeah, should we we should rest for the night, uh, make some dog water tea and get some courage back? So hard to not say what points. Oh, I uh bust out the two-person roadbread. All right, that's great. Roll it.

SPEAKER_06

I roll it, it counts for two people.

SPEAKER_08

Um what is it?

SPEAKER_10

A D8. Uh six.

SPEAKER_08

I don't remember. I don't either. It's the bredest of roads. Um d7. I roll a d7, I split the difference. It's a three. I mean, it's either a d6, d8, or d10. I'm just gonna keep rolling uh threes. Oh, it was a two on the d8. I don't know. Um, I think it was probably a a d6.

SPEAKER_12

Uh Seth has no food because it all got destroyed in the water.

SPEAKER_08

Oh, I hand him a rat. Well, can we continue to use the road bread again? It's like double risk it for the biscuit. Yeah, you'll have to roll it again. Robert It's a six, he somehow creates more bread as he eats it.

SPEAKER_03

You guys munch on the bread and fall asleep in a bread fit.

SPEAKER_08

Best sleep we have ahead. A bread food coma.

SPEAKER_12

You guys gain 10 pounds overnight because bread makes you fat.

SPEAKER_00

It's true. It's true.

SPEAKER_12

Uh nothing happens in the night. You guys are free to move on in the morning. To the quag spa.

SPEAKER_02

We go.

SPEAKER_08

I heal one hit punter. I am at 12 out of 14. Alright, uh, who rolled the last travel check? Was it you?

SPEAKER_09

I believe was it me? I don't think. I don't think I don't know.

SPEAKER_12

I think James are up.

SPEAKER_09

Okay.

SPEAKER_12

D6, my friend. So bump in a road.

SPEAKER_08

Asia. It's a bump in a log.

SPEAKER_12

One. You guys are lost in this hex for all time. I say all time.

SPEAKER_09

Yeah. So it's okay. Okay. It's cursed. Run out of food in this hex.

SPEAKER_07

Just never never get out.

SPEAKER_01

It's the case hex.

SPEAKER_09

Oh man. I know it's this way.

SPEAKER_01

No, yeah, over here.

SPEAKER_09

No, it's this way. It looks this looks the same. We were just here. I'm getting hungry already. Okay.

SPEAKER_11

I don't know if I should uh travel with you guys anymore. I mean, it's getting ridiculous.

SPEAKER_09

Nay, look, look. I mean, the quagmash is it's this way. It's probably it'll be fine. Follow me.

SPEAKER_10

George. I do it.

SPEAKER_08

Hey! Yes! You know what we discover? We discover a way out of this godforsaken heck.

SPEAKER_12

Oh okay. Roll a D100.

SPEAKER_08

D100.

SPEAKER_12

D100.

SPEAKER_08

Uh 66. We discover another bug bear who look exactly like this guy with his opposite leg crushed. They point at each other in combat ensues. And uh the paradox blows up the land of theme.

SPEAKER_09

I believe it um This is interesting.

Quagspire Emptied, Loot Divvied, Next Stop: Dark Shroom Tower

SPEAKER_12

Uh it's sort of like an encounter. You you find um a hunting party of horses who've captured what looks to be a hunter, and he he he spots you behind them, they're like carrying them over their shoulders, and he says, Help!

SPEAKER_03

Help get me free. Look, if you give them money, they'll release me. Money.

SPEAKER_02

Money. Okay. All right.

SPEAKER_08

I look down immediately and like I walk around.

SPEAKER_05

I'm already holding the gold pouch. Yeah. You got silver. This is better, right?

unknown

Oh.

SPEAKER_08

Hooch has one silver pouch, yeah.

SPEAKER_09

One silver pouch. Okay.

SPEAKER_05

I so I'll I'll march like right up to him, like, hi, I have money.

SPEAKER_08

Verbatim, you say, hi, I have money.

SPEAKER_12

Uh the orches turn around and then they like point their spears at you.

SPEAKER_08

They say ungabunga.

SPEAKER_09

Hi, I'd like to. Hi, I'd like to to free your prisoner by uh paying his bail. I've got a ton of money, and it's for you.

SPEAKER_12

The largest one uh snorts and parts the crowd and uh grabs the pouch right out of your hand and sniffs it. Starts sniffing the coins, puts it back in. And he likes motions and uh they throw the guy in the mud.

SPEAKER_10

Thanks.

SPEAKER_07

I'll snort back at him and wave him goodbye.

SPEAKER_12

Um they start trudging off. And uh the hunter says, Oh, thank you. I I'm good for the money.

SPEAKER_11

I I can pay you if you go to puddle jump.

SPEAKER_02

Okay, cool. Who who are you, by the way? What's what are you doing out here?

SPEAKER_11

My name's Milo. I'm a big fame hunter.

SPEAKER_02

Big fame hunter. What were you doing all the way out here? Hunting something crazy.

SPEAKER_11

Yeah, you know, uh, I might have been poaching uh on orch territory, but uh we whistle for them to come back. Ways them both, you know, they they don't like other other people uh hunting their gators and whatnot.

SPEAKER_09

It's understandable, it's their territory.

SPEAKER_11

Okay, so here's well, I mean, you know, who says, but anyway, uh you know, go to Puddle Point, big fun, big big fame, angel, big fame hunter lodge, okay? Get up big fun there. Big fun, fame, hunter lodge. Go there, I'll I'll pay you two silver pouches.

SPEAKER_09

I tell you what, I'll do one, I'll do one better for you. Yeah, what uh what gets you lots of cred being a big fame hunter? I mean, obviously, you want fame, you want to be able to bag something that'll make you a legend, right? Oh no.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, yeah, of course. Well, what if I told you that we're part of a hunting party on our way to go take out a black Drake in a lost hunting party?

SPEAKER_09

Elite. Look at this guy. I point to Seth.

SPEAKER_08

He's like he's he's bench pressing a tree trunk just like what we're okay.

SPEAKER_00

What's up, guys?

SPEAKER_12

He looks at Seth, says, Well, yeah, he's impressive. Look, I don't want to be mean, but I know what you're talking about.

SPEAKER_02

And you don't want uh any part? You don't want to be famous.

SPEAKER_05

It's not what's the matter, Colonel Stan.

SPEAKER_11

Look, have you ever heard of the Hinterlander?

SPEAKER_08

No. Who's that? Sounds cold.

SPEAKER_12

He's another hunter, and uh putrefex. Yeah, I mean, that's kind of his thing.

SPEAKER_08

Oh, you don't want to step on his toes? I mean, if you want to step on his toes, well, I mean that would be bad. Right, right. Or would it be really good because all he's done is talk about it, and now you're gonna do it.

SPEAKER_12

He really doesn't talk much.

SPEAKER_08

Well, maybe you'll gain his respect. It's very boring.

SPEAKER_12

Look, he's a filmmog outrider.

SPEAKER_08

He is humorless in this land of humor. Rendo almost has a spit take when he says Fellmog Outrider. Is he around here? Like, I'm gonna like just become more interested in hiring that guy to join us or finding out.

SPEAKER_02

Oh, so he's like around here. I should go talk to him.

SPEAKER_12

I mean, I don't know where he is. I saw him back at the lodge a few weeks ago.

SPEAKER_09

Okay, well, uh, you head back to the lodge. We'll come and collect our our two two two gold coins. Is that what you're offering? Yeah, that's eight.

SPEAKER_11

No, no, no. I was just gonna double two silver. Oh, he's really bad with math. Yeah, I am.

SPEAKER_09

Um, and uh maybe when we uh pick up our money, we can ask the Hinterlander if uh if he'd like to make this happen once and for all with a party of heroes that uh have known no equal. We don't even know.

SPEAKER_12

Seth overhears this discussion and says, is he gonna want the relic?

SPEAKER_11

Seth! No, it's yours, it's yours. It's yours. What what relic you guys talking about, huh?

SPEAKER_09

Hey, I uh this family heirloom is probably in the guy's board. It's I don't know what it is. It's like uh it's like a beef jerky maker or something.

SPEAKER_08

Beef jerky maker, show technology.

SPEAKER_12

You know, you're not the type of guys uh that I normally encounter in the quagmash. You sure you're in the right place? No, seem like a couple of city slickers.

SPEAKER_08

Oh, I'm sure. We're after the legend of Curly's gold, sir.

unknown

Shh.

SPEAKER_05

I'm Billy Crystal, and he's John Lovitz. Wow. I'm a cowboy.

SPEAKER_11

Look, if you wanna if you wanna hunt something like more your speed, why don't you come join me look for for the look for the uh great white riversore?

SPEAKER_12

It's a little easier, you know. It's it's bound to the water. I don't like this guy. See, the black drake, he's got the high ground, you know, he can go any way he wants.

SPEAKER_08

That's true. I guess that's what makes him uh more worthy adversary. I mean it's over now, he has the high ground, so he has the high ground. Uh I say that's nice. I say we're we're firmly committed to this current hunt. I'm gonna like I'm gonna like zhuzh.

SPEAKER_12

Well, let me just tell you. Are you familiar with black drakes and what they're capable of doing?

SPEAKER_11

Uh I mean, they literally burn the skin off your face. Just a blast of acid cloud.

SPEAKER_08

That's only if you get hit, duh.

SPEAKER_11

It's hard not to get hit.

SPEAKER_09

It's true. It's hard not to get hit. We'll we'll think of something. We got this far and we saved your butt.

SPEAKER_08

We looked behind him, and his actually butt has been bitten off. We did not save his butt at all.

SPEAKER_12

He's got a flap.

SPEAKER_08

Yeah, just a butt flap. Alright, you said you were in skiff? No, puddle point. Puddle puddle point.

SPEAKER_11

Got it. Go to puddle point and puddle jump. Go to the hunter lodge.

SPEAKER_08

Alright, we will. We'll be there and we'll be there to collect. I write it down in my quest log. Happy hunt.

SPEAKER_07

And to share the news with the Hinted Atlanta. And also with you.

SPEAKER_12

Yeah. He uh goes on his merry way.

SPEAKER_08

Seth immediately judges us for just giving money away like that. You're never gonna see that money.

SPEAKER_02

So this thing can like blast acid that's gonna melt our faces, guys. Like, how are we gonna deal with this?

SPEAKER_08

Uh Seth puts his helmet back on.

SPEAKER_05

Tink tink acid proof.

SPEAKER_09

All right. Well, between well, while we're doing our while we're gathering up our team, we'll we'll have to get some equipment along the way. Let's hope that Quagspire's got some treasure in it.

SPEAKER_08

Yeah, instead of like Oceans 11, we're gonna make Hooch's hundred. We're just gonna get 100 dudes. Yeah, get them all together. As many as we can like montage it with like really like quirky music playing.

SPEAKER_06

There's gonna be a montage.

SPEAKER_12

Uh as you as the day winds down, you actually uh come across Fran Fran and what a Chini and Bello. Yeah they seem to be walking uh back up north.

SPEAKER_04

Hey!

SPEAKER_03

It's the darndest thing. I mean, someone already ransacked Quagspire. What? Who hole in the wall?

SPEAKER_08

Oh man, I was really banking on the treasure there. Uh and then uh she says, Yeah, there is uh carved on the wall was Galen plus Riley were here.

SPEAKER_11

Yeah, you ever heard of them?

SPEAKER_09

No, no, no, actually, we may have because of all the articles in Done magazine. Yeah, yeah, that's true. Oh wow, they were uh they're way better than us.

XP, Future Plans, And Community Updates

SPEAKER_12

Yeah, yeah, there wasn't even a trace of anyone. I mean, it was kind of in in uh in shambles.

SPEAKER_04

Hmm.

SPEAKER_08

See, but that's good, right? Because that means that you've made the quag mesh safer already, or someone has, so that's one less thing you have to worry about, right? Except for the dark shroom tower.

SPEAKER_09

What's a dark shroom tower? That's where the mushroom was long ago. Oh, that's right. We promised them that they did the same deal with Seth.

SPEAKER_08

Make Seth. He's gonna join our team.

SPEAKER_11

How are you, ma'am?

SPEAKER_08

They immediately fall in love. It's their eyes like sparkle as they look at each other. It's a tall drink of water. What Ben to RP romance between himself?

SPEAKER_07

Between himself.

SPEAKER_08

Yeah. Uh um, yeah.

SPEAKER_12

So uh you know, it wasn't it wasn't a total waste. We found uh you know, some mundane items here. She dumps things out on the ground.

SPEAKER_08

Uh yeah, is the the worm tooth in there? Worm slayer tooth?

SPEAKER_12

No, but you can roll up some uh mundane items. Hopefully we get some mundane armor.

SPEAKER_05

I got a bicycle.

SPEAKER_12

Roll a d400.

SPEAKER_08

I don't know how to roll, George. Sorry, I'll take care of it. Just make a note us. Five D400, George. Oh my gosh.

SPEAKER_09

Five D400s. 74 712.

SPEAKER_01

Wow. Wow. That's number Wang.

SPEAKER_12

There's a cape. Oh it's kind of uh a dark blue with um stars on it.

SPEAKER_08

It sounds far better than just a mundane item. It's actually just a magician's cape from like the novelty shop.

SPEAKER_12

Yeah, it's it's not magical or anything, it's just a Merlin costume.

SPEAKER_08

Next we find a hat with stars on it, and then we find an uh old man beard. Find a bag.

SPEAKER_09

Got a bag. Bag that could be helpful. Though we'll have something to put our remains in after we die fighting the Drake.

SPEAKER_03

The Drake.

SPEAKER_09

Drake remorse.

SPEAKER_03

Heck the Drake!

SPEAKER_08

Was that a harpoon?

SPEAKER_12

A harpoon.

SPEAKER_08

Ooh, a harpoon might actually be helpful because we could if we could tag it, we could like tug it to the ground again. Tag and bag it. Yeah, I say, hooch, this is like a whale catcher to compliment your man catcher. I'll grab it.

SPEAKER_12

Uh, you find a mask. Um you guys can have input on what the mask is.

SPEAKER_08

Uh I want to say it's one of those Plague Doctor masks, but it's also big enough to fit my beak. Nice. Perfect.

SPEAKER_12

And lastly, you find laxatives. Yes.

SPEAKER_08

I won't tell you how we find out that they're laxatives, but we definitely know they're laxatives. We cook with them.

SPEAKER_09

Dude, I want the laxatives. It'll go with my bag of tricks. Yep. My Krog costume, the trick gum, laxatives, a broken hazmat suit, a sock with a coin in it.

SPEAKER_08

We're like the worst adventuring party.

SPEAKER_07

These are all the tools that a rascal needs to avoid combat.

SPEAKER_09

I am excited. The laxatives are wonderful. Like, that is gonna really.

SPEAKER_08

I can't wait to like wait. Didn't didn't we lit like literally just say moments ago that someone's backed up? No?

SPEAKER_09

Today? I don't think so. Someone backed up? There's all the internal monologue you're having.

SPEAKER_05

I'm going inside. Not anymore. Not anymore.

SPEAKER_12

I love it. Um all right, it's been an hour and a half. You guys uh have met up with old Franny and Bello and Cheney. It's probably a nice place to stop.

SPEAKER_08

Yeah.

SPEAKER_12

Yeah.

SPEAKER_08

We are making a mushroom stew. Bello and Sheenie are deeply offended.

SPEAKER_12

And uh Bellow and Cheney see that you found a dark shroom. Oh and they think it's an omen.

SPEAKER_08

Bad omen?

SPEAKER_12

An omen that they must go there now. They must find it.

SPEAKER_09

We're gonna go. We're gonna go as a team, but we're gonna take this thing down, whatever it is. Yeah, whatever evil is at dark shroom tower.

SPEAKER_11

Yeah. Next time, the evil at Dark Shroom Tower.

SPEAKER_05

Next time when the mean stream.

SPEAKER_12

Do some XP, my friend. Monster Jam. Sunday, Sunday, Sunday. Sunday, Sunday, Sunday.

SPEAKER_09

Just I can't stop doing that for 10 minutes. Yeah. It's satisfying, though. It's fine. It's really nice.

SPEAKER_12

Alright, did you complete a quest or objective? Yes.

SPEAKER_08

Uh I'm just reflexively answering. I'm sorry.

SPEAKER_12

No. You encountered a new creature. Yes, we did. You had a significant NPC encounter. You solved a problem creatively. You got into parallel and hijinks. You did not travel 10 or more hexes.

SPEAKER_08

We will never travel 10 or more hexes in the quagmash.

SPEAKER_12

It's impossible. I'll say you explored a new location like that, Gator Maze. Nice. That is 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 XP.

SPEAKER_08

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11.

SPEAKER_12

Um ideals, flaws.

SPEAKER_08

Did I learn a story? You did snitch on a guy. Uh uh Ben, would I would you consider that I've learned the story of Seth?

SPEAKER_12

The story of Seth.

SPEAKER_08

The tale of Seth and Foot.

SPEAKER_09

Seth and Foot. This series of short stories called The Tales of Seth.

SPEAKER_12

Um I'm gonna say yes, but uh take a note that you you as a character feel invested in Seth Grim Tusk's story, then.

SPEAKER_08

Okay, okay. You'll sing his tale. Um I'm gonna just uh make a comment on my little character sheet here. I am invested in this. Yeah, man. That was that was an investment into that.

SPEAKER_12

Uh that was as if we weren't live. Yeah, I forgot we're live.

SPEAKER_10

Yeah. Ladies and gentlemen, that is that is like pure unadulterated Jimmy Boingo.

SPEAKER_08

That's how Ben and I work together hour on end.

SPEAKER_12

Um you guys you guys did talk, like I'm not sure what that means, if it's you know worth the uh relationships.

SPEAKER_09

You know, I think it's been bogged down because we haven't been engaging with the Tricky Toe gang like a little bit, you know, like we've been trying to get to Twinbeard for like six years, right? And that once we get to him and start like you know, interrogating him, it's gonna really advance the the main story plot, you know what I mean. But uh it's been a heck of an adventure to get there. Oh my gosh.

SPEAKER_12

I mean, yeah, Quagmash is Quagmash is wild, man. Dangerous place because it's like hard to spawn through.

SPEAKER_08

Nothing is more dangerous than dirt nap dunes. I mean, I mean we'll we'll see when we get to Los Bellas, man. Yeah, that's true, that's true. Because Terra Terror Island also uh uh we don't talk about Terror Island.

SPEAKER_05

What happens on Terror Island stays on Terror Island, okay? The Las Vegas effect, okay.

SPEAKER_12

Yeah, Terror Island is objectively the most dangerous place.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, that's true. All of it.

SPEAKER_12

All right. Uh good times, my friends. It was and we will continue this adventure next time, next week.

SPEAKER_08

Indeed. And uh stay tuned for more updates about the release of the Lande Beam uh crowdsourcing campaign.

SPEAKER_09

Do check out landaveam.com. You can download the game for free. Check out the links in our in our uh at the bottom of this video.

SPEAKER_08

You can also grab the game there and uh do sign up for the newsletter so that you actually get the updates and can take advantage of some of those early adopter rewards. Yeah. So uh like George's six hexes. I'm just saying.

SPEAKER_12

Yeah, George's six hexes, the 20th stretch goal. If we get to a million dollars.

SPEAKER_08

A million dollars.

SPEAKER_00

A million dollars.

SPEAKER_08

A million dollars. I million. It's good. Alrighty, until next time, guys. Take it even peace.