SPEAKER_04

Hi.

SPEAKER_03

Hello.

SPEAKER_04

Saturday. Happy Land of Eam Day.

SPEAKER_03

It is the weekly annual Land of Eam Day. So we've got a new one. Every week has a Land of Eam Day. It's Saturday. It starts 11 a.m. Pacific. Some say that the barrier between our two dimensions is thinnest on Saturdays.

SPEAKER_01

That's true. It's all part of a druidic uh ritual that started uh back in the days of yarn.

Last Quest Recap And Mushroom Lore

SPEAKER_03

And um back in the days of yarn, says hi. Back when back when they made everything out of yarn, basically. Yeah, that's what I meant. Yeah. And um call it spinning a yarn because you make everything out of yarn. Exactly. So yeah, welcome everybody to the Land of Eam stream. We're about to play the Land of Eam RPG. It's uh RPG that's been spired by the Land of Eam uh uh series uh Rickety Stitch and Gelantas Goo and Dungeoneer Adventures. Um you can check out land of beam.com to download these rules for free, the beta rules. And uh you should do it soon because we're about to take them down and uh provide a robust quick start guide in preparation for uh launching some information about our crowdsourcing campaign. So check out landbeam.com, sign up for the newsletter, and let's get to adventuring.

SPEAKER_01

Classic over. So uh last time you guys destroyed the evil at uh Darkshroom Tower, where um horrible cult of mushrooms resided. It was cut in half. Yeah, hooch took in the evil mushroom spirit into his body and had Seth Grim Tusk slice him in half. Yep, thus creating two hooches, one evil hooch, one good hooch, then the evil hooch was slain.

SPEAKER_03

And now hooch we think, we think the evil hooch was slain.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, everything's fine, guys. Everything's fine.

SPEAKER_01

So mushrooms uh they have an ability, it's their folk ability, it's able they're able to um die once and split into two beings that they then play as. But um since who charge he did that, he can no longer die again.

SPEAKER_03

So I use my my folk ability extra life essentially. Yeah, I used it really early too, like really early in the campaign, but it just was too funny to pass up. Uh some would say that this ability can be replenished by finding this little green mushroom called a one-up mushroom. Yeah, wow. George, this is where George DM jams himself. Yeah, yeah. We're gonna play a Mario RPG state. Super Mario Whoa!

SPEAKER_00

Super Mario Whoa!

SPEAKER_01

Yeah. Super Mario RPG is probably one of my favorite SNES games. Okay.

SPEAKER_03

All right, let's stop the stream. Let's uh let's just do a let's play of Super Mario RPG. No, dude. Gino Star is Gino's great. Gino. Little known fact about Gino. I think that's the only time he appears ever in any game, except for maybe Smash Brothers. And Wario 6. I don't think the search for more Wario.

SPEAKER_01

Wario 6, the search for more Wario. All right, let's jump in. Uh you guys are still uh in this hex here in the Quagmash. You guys uh you know slogging through for nine weeks, as is customary in the Quagmash.

SPEAKER_04

Indeed.

SPEAKER_01

You're with Seth Grimtusk and Fran Frinkle.

SPEAKER_03

Uh, all the mushrooms are gonna go their separate ways back to their homes after however long months, years they've been under the spell of this horrible place. Oh gosh, I hope it wasn't years that's right. No, it was definitely uh centuries of mushroom enslavement.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah, they're functionally immortal mushrooms, so they've been there for 600 years.

SPEAKER_03

They all look like dried shiitake, their minds tortured. Yeah.

Goals: Lost Willows, Drake, And Sword

SPEAKER_01

Chini and Bello uh give their deepest thanks to you.

SPEAKER_04

No problem, Chini and Bello.

SPEAKER_03

We appreciate it. Nor we you is that what you say to them? I don't know.

SPEAKER_01

Nor we you, nor I as well.

SPEAKER_03

Uh I don't say anything, but then hesitantly high-five them. You hit uh Chini in the face. Yeah. Why would you do that? And then you like baby do the same thing to you because they're just trying to fit in. Why would you do it? Yeah, it brings me no joy. Um, so we've got a couple of options here, right, George? Like we know we need to go to the Lost Willows because we're looking for Harn Twinbeard. But the Lost Willows has a Drake. Drake that uh is haunting the skies. And Grimtusk is after that Drake, but he wants to acquire a special sword in order to defeat it. Um, when we turn to Grim Tusk, we see him look back at us and look at Fran. He says, Guys, I've found something more special than uh any old sword. Found this little lady right here, and we're getting married. I did write that Seth and Fran are getting married in the last like notes that I had. That's amazing. They went on an adventure together, found love. Now he doesn't care about the Drake. But I hate the Drake.

SPEAKER_00

Hate the Drake! Hate the Drake.

SPEAKER_01

Um, but they were getting married. Yeah, they are getting married, but he does still care about the Drake.

SPEAKER_03

We should we try to recover his sword. Yeah, but I that seems like the most sensible thing to do. What were we gonna get for escorting Fran? One gold pouch a week or one copper pouch a week, I think. It was definitely not gold a week. No.

SPEAKER_00

Come on. Nobody had to do that. Yeah, we were gonna buy this uh chapstick here.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah, I know I was just about to say. I thought it looked like a glue stick for a second.

SPEAKER_01

Let me apply this glue stick to my lips.

SPEAKER_00

I ran out of chapstick, better gotta try some glue.

SPEAKER_03

It's called extreme GMing. Just like slowly glue your mouth together and see how we have to we have to read your eyes to know what's happening. It's perfect. I we give that's not that's not stream friendly, Ben. That's not stream friendly. Nothing we do is it's all partially true. Uh all right. So, yeah.

SPEAKER_01

What do you want to do?

Travel Mishaps In The Quagmash

SPEAKER_03

Uh uh what if we went back to the freaking bar? The bar? The bar? There's a sinking relic query in 3722, so that would be that's where I think the sword might be. That's where we think the sword might be. So that's right here. There was was there not a bar or a tavern, swamp tavern 3117? Yeah, that's that's very much by where we are. That's all the way up in or something. That was the bar fly, the first bar. Yeah, that's outside of bar town. Um, there's 3624, which is a safe magical monster to camp on. We could head there and and just like um try to camp for the night. Although that would be a two-day journey because we only move one hexases, right? Right. You want to head that direction? Like towards the vector maze? At least one hex will be safe. Yeah, we'll camp there, and then we can maybe search the next day for the sword or the sinking reliquary, and and um yeah, although Ben did imply that the entrance to it was farther away than that actual hex. Right, but we may be able to use that hex to find the entrance, and we also know that there might be skeletons inside.

SPEAKER_04

Because the guy was running from skeletons. Yes, Hank or whatever Hank Azaria. Hank Azaria, Brian, Brian, Brianston.

SPEAKER_01

All right, let's uh let's get this show on the road, you know.

SPEAKER_03

Um all right, George, you want to roll it? Let's roll the travel, let's do it. Rolling, rolling, rolling, rolling hot, you know. Here it comes. Here we go big roll sick woo, you know. Bumping the road. Roll a d6. Roll a d6. Oh no. All right, you want to roll? Is that the direction thing? You guys are lost, yeah. Or or do we go random direction? Not in the difficult terrain. In difficult UK, I gotta it make it a chance. Uh guys, uh I feel like we've been here before.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, we see we we've we like break through some like mushroom trees, and then we see Bellow and Sheenie on the other side. They've just been sitting there the entire time. We saw you walk in a circle. I'm gonna know this. I'm gonna brilliantly think that I'm following some tracks of someone else. It just leads back to my own tracks. Yeah, you waste six hours of the day doing that.

SPEAKER_06

Oh man.

SPEAKER_03

I don't know. You get us out of here. It's afternoon. Um, it's getting a little humid in the swamp. Making an excheck. Uh swamp skeetos are coming out. Mash Skeetos? Maybe mash skeetos. Oh boy. That's a three. We spontaneously combust.

SPEAKER_01

All right. Um, it also is minus one.

SPEAKER_03

That's a two. Oh, Ben, mine would have been uh it's okay. It's okay, it's big boys' rules. You know, yeah, big boys. It's okay. We already passed it.

SPEAKER_01

But you guys are in the thought stool thicket, so it's minus one, and uh that is a two, that's a perilous encounter, we're all a D100.

SPEAKER_04

Oh boy, here we go.

Ambushed By Bog Snaps

SPEAKER_03

I don't remember um 99 and Riley having this many issues in the Quagmash. Now I don't think that the table gets worse as you get to 100. I don't think it does. Oh no, I meant just in general. Like, I I I'm sure we we did have this much trouble moving through the quagmash, just like you did. Yeah, yeah, we did. It sucks. It's rough out here. It's rough out here. Danger uh around each and every corner.

SPEAKER_01

So um, you guys are trudging through which way are you going?

SPEAKER_03

This way, it's a jungle out.

SPEAKER_01

All right.

SPEAKER_03

Um all of you, you're walking through, and then these creeping like vines wrap around all of you, your feet, before you can even do anything, and you find yourselves uh snarled by bog snaps, man-eating plants.

unknown

Oh no.

SPEAKER_01

You're in a conflict immediately.

SPEAKER_03

Um picture of these fellers.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah, please do.

SPEAKER_03

Is that uh Audrey Two? Yeah. It's Audrey Three. Got it. So what they do, they normally look like pink flowers. See these petals. It's a beautiful field of them. The flowers pull back to reveal a hideous, grotesque mouth. It's like Jumanji out of here, you know what I mean?

SPEAKER_01

So what are you guys doing?

SPEAKER_03

Uh um, I'm going to keep wrapped up in them, or is it like we're just they they face us?

SPEAKER_01

You uh you are wrapped up. They they're starting to grab your feet.

SPEAKER_03

I am going to use disappearing act and vanish from sight.

SPEAKER_06

I see. They're blind, they can just feel you. That's horrible.

SPEAKER_05

That's horrifying. Um, what would I do? Uh I do it.

SPEAKER_03

Seven. Uh can can I make a uh a swashbuckler check to make up uh an advantageous feature or object. And in this case, I want it to be a low-hanging tree branch with some like um you know vines hanging off of that we could climb up to safety.

SPEAKER_01

Uh yes, but actually, one moment. Um my bad. I'm just looking at them now.

SPEAKER_03

So the first phase of a conflict with a box snap is combat because they've wrapped you predatory ambushes. Got it. Then let's get to slicing some vines, Joji. Come on! Uh, I turned my kitar notes into musical daggers to fire them at the feet.

SPEAKER_04

He transforms his kitar transforms into a weed whacker.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah. This shrimp thought of everything. Oh uh they act first in the first round of combat. Man, these guys are brutal. Brutal.

SPEAKER_01

But you still can do other things, you know.

SPEAKER_03

You can try them, are there, Ben? There are two of them, but there are many vines that are like grabbing everyone. I want to try and like swipe at the vines, essentially. Before you do that, I'm gonna try to throw a quiche between the two of them to make them fight over it. I like it. Alright, so the first one attacks Sethy and Hooch. Alright, here we go.

SPEAKER_04

Here we go. Here's where I rely upon my minus two defense.

SPEAKER_03

This is against Seth. That is a critical hit. Ooh, friends the widower already. That's six dread. This is against Hooch. That is a five, right? Because you have minus two. I'm minus two, that's right. So uh yeah, failure with the miss. The the vines are still like tripping you up a bit, but it whiffs. And then the second one attacks. That is also against Seth and Hooch.

SPEAKER_01

Seth is it again, and uh yeah.

SPEAKER_03

Seth is I love you, Fran. I think he's at like two. Wow.

SPEAKER_01

Next attack against Hooch misses. Look at this guy, you know?

SPEAKER_00

Hey!

SPEAKER_01

He's a crafty little fella.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah. I'm a rascal over here. What are you gonna do?

SPEAKER_01

Um, I will say though that uh your attempts to escape will have minus one because uh you're kind of getting lost in their vines.

SPEAKER_07

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

Okay. Um yeah, by the way, um Seth is completely entangled on that critical hit.

SPEAKER_03

All right. So now can I use Disappearing Act?

SPEAKER_05

Or do I tag first?

SPEAKER_03

Well, you're you're gonna be making your choice of actions on that. On that. Okay, I'm gonna I'm gonna do disappearing act so I can get out in a way and then free Seth by chopping up the vines with my with my crystal sword.

SPEAKER_01

Alright, you will have a minus one to your checky.

SPEAKER_04

That is a 13. Minus one is a 12.

SPEAKER_01

Nice. Yeah, you uh you slip out and they have no idea where you went.

SPEAKER_03

And um yeah, Seth also has one block, so he's he's got four curves. Full Cartier.

SPEAKER_01

Uh Brenda, what are you doing?

SPEAKER_03

Ben, do you think that they would go for the quiche if I threw it out? In the land of Ean? No. Yeah. Everyone loves quiche. No, I'm gonna take the the torch that we got from our previous haul, and I'm gonna jam it in the mouth of the uh thing and try to set it on fire.

SPEAKER_04

Okay.

SPEAKER_03

You know?

SPEAKER_04

How about you chomp on this? Do on this.

SPEAKER_03

Uh do an attack. It is a melee attack, I guess.

SPEAKER_00

Oh my god, who Jimmy's?

SPEAKER_01

Oh jeez.

SPEAKER_02

That's a which end of this thing do I hold it?

SPEAKER_03

Ow, ow. Um, I mean I dropped a torch. I think he just swallows it like and he brips out smoke. Yeah. Yeah, and it's like does not affect it at all. Yeah, like a cartoon swallowing dynamite. Yeah. Well, that's my turn.

Party Falls And Escapes Underground

SPEAKER_01

Oh man. I mean, Brendo, you're so uh ineffectual in combat.

SPEAKER_03

I know it's it's sad. It's sad. I miss Galen. I miss his uh his dummy thick thighs, you know.

SPEAKER_01

You know, you could uh increase your attack by one.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, you could a lot of XP, isn't it? 25. I I I did increase my athletics by one today. Making progress. Making progress. That's big stats for for Big George.

SPEAKER_01

All right, so um you guys can control the two NPCs.

SPEAKER_03

All right, let's role play Fran and uh Seth in their last moments alive as a couple.

SPEAKER_00

Get out of here, Fran! You leave me behind, you run on off. I forget how he's can't leave you, baby.

SPEAKER_01

Oh, jeez.

SPEAKER_00

So Come on now.

SPEAKER_01

Seth can try to escape this entanglement.

SPEAKER_03

Yes. That's what I will do with Seth. Entanglement. Make a mite check.

SPEAKER_04

That's gonna miss. You don't have this trump.

SPEAKER_05

Yeah, he's not mighty enough. He's been he's been battered and wounded, and he's being squeezed by giant tendrils.

SPEAKER_01

It's a miss with a plus. I'll say he gets his uh his arm free with his uh weapon. He can't attack now, but nice later.

SPEAKER_03

Some wild swings later. Um is gonna Fran doing. Yeah, Fran's gonna take her blender bus. We still have that, right? No, she lost it. Okay. Destroyed by ass brain. Yeah, she pulls that yeah, that's true. She pulls a halibird out of my my rucksack and swings wildly with it. Yeah, uh the one with Seth. The one with Seth, yes.

SPEAKER_01

Alright, roll it up, she has a plus one.

unknown

Eh?

SPEAKER_03

She's gonna get counter-attacked, but to start. To start of damage. Tiz! D8 damage? Okay. Um d20, I think. D8, yes. D20. Um, oh Ben, uh, how far away was Fran from this thing? Could she have charged at it conceivably? Uh no, you guys are pretty close. Okay, all right. So you're sorry, we said d8, yes?

SPEAKER_00

Let go my Maya.

SPEAKER_03

No one knows why they talk like that. They haven't talked like that this entire campaign. Now they all talk like that. Alright, to dread. It notices her.

SPEAKER_06

Two dread.

SPEAKER_01

It is the next round. This time it's normal. You can wrangle flee. Uh you know, got your whole suite of options there.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah. You can choose what to do now.

SPEAKER_03

Um, I'm going to. I know I want to attack the the ones that are wrapped around uh Seth and try to free him. Ben divines. All right. Uh you yes. No, no, sorry. Yeah, resolve this first, and then I'll ask my question. Sorry. Ben sounded like a science teacher when he was by the. Yes. True calling.

SPEAKER_01

Pooch. Uh make a mic check to help him out.

SPEAKER_03

All right, here we go.

SPEAKER_01

13, baby. All right, you rip them loose. Um, Brendo.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, so could I narrate her the death of a of a monster in combat? No. Just, you know, gotta ask. You could narrate like a specific action. I don't like it. I don't like it.

SPEAKER_02

Alright, alright. How about this?

SPEAKER_03

Uh uh, could I use famous and invent something that the monsters may have heard about me? Making them want to leave me alone. They're not sent in, are they?

SPEAKER_01

Not on that level.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, okay. I'm gonna heal, I'm gonna heal Seth. Because I feel like that would be a good use of my abilities. That's true. He's almost down. Oh wait, that's out of combat.

SPEAKER_03

Can I not heal in combat?

SPEAKER_05

Do I not take those things?

SPEAKER_03

Well, shucks howdy. We're gonna pop us some pimple plants.

SPEAKER_01

What is your question?

SPEAKER_03

No, I just I thought I had an ability to heal in combat, but I don't. I think I might have not taken that ability when I leveled up. I think I also made that better. You probably did. Um, that's fine. So I will instead uh attack this round. Same one that has been harassing Seth. Wow, how is this? You know, I just I'm not meant to attack, is what's going on. My key tar breaks. Um, and you could just attack. He did. You rolled a one again. You rolled a zero.

SPEAKER_01

Oh my gosh.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, yeah, that's that.

SPEAKER_00

Wow, I'm sorry. I my cat's on the table. That's too funny.

SPEAKER_04

I mean I mean, that's that's a bad role.

SPEAKER_03

That's just two bad roles. Every time I try to attack, it's a bad role. George, you also didn't roll um initiative to attack. That could be my initiative role.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03

To make it a two. Appreciate you. You're a bail organ. Uh I go after these these fools. Uh a roll for Fran. No, Fran always, they always go after them. That's right. So Hoochie. Uh I rolled might already. Yeah, you pulled Seth loose. Yeah, I pulled Seth loose. So Seth could attack. Oh, that was your that was your action this round. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

Well, they're attacking now, and attack Fran with critical hit.

SPEAKER_03

Oh lord. Oh my gosh. And Seth with a critical hit.

SPEAKER_04

Oh my Seth's dad.

SPEAKER_03

Go on without us. We die together, boys. It's nine to Fran. And nine to Seth. Seth is just done.

SPEAKER_00

Seth! No! No!

SPEAKER_03

This plan is uh boy. Oh my good lord. I don't know if it's the plan.

SPEAKER_04

It's a perilous encounter. Seth is gone.

SPEAKER_01

He's he's a newlywed. Someone roll uh Seth's defy death.

SPEAKER_03

Eight. Plus whatever is uh he's got plus two. The Teledad.

SPEAKER_01

He he's he like escapes without a horrible injury as well.

SPEAKER_05

Nice.

SPEAKER_01

He's uh but he's not well. I mean he's he's unconscious and entangled by me. Um they're both entangled. Oh geez. Fran is alive, but what how do you want to handle this?

SPEAKER_05

Um is are these goons or bruisers? Bruis.

Perilous Sinkholes And Random Dungeon

SPEAKER_04

All right, I'm gonna I'm gonna try to clock one. Just outright knock him over. Unchop it set off.

SPEAKER_01

I think you could only do that against the one that uh does not have them.

SPEAKER_03

Also, sorry. It's their turn. Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_04

This is gonna be the worst part. Eaten by plants in the bottom.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

Hooch, are you still uh hidden?

SPEAKER_03

I think he is. Um no, I shouldn't be anymore.

SPEAKER_04

I'm not. I shouldn't be anymore. It's only one round, I imagine.

SPEAKER_03

You've already like presented yourself when you pulled him out.

SPEAKER_05

Yeah, and when I so all right, hooch your attacked. Uh minus two is still a 12.

SPEAKER_03

So wow, Ben, you're just you're rolling like you're rolling high. I mean, there's nothing you can do about it.

SPEAKER_05

It's not Ben, it's the Gloom King rolling now. Oh no, you did 14. Uh it's not that that uh that uh just I take it on the chin and just fall backwards like totally unconscious.

SPEAKER_03

Brento. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

Oh my god. Oh, come on. Oh no, oh no, oh god, we gotta run. We gotta run, man. It's too late if we're running, man. We're all dead. Game over, man. Game over. What happens?

SPEAKER_03

You awaken in the belly of a beast. Oh my gosh.

SPEAKER_04

Wait, wait, wait. So, what what happens when bog snaps are victorious? I don't remember.

SPEAKER_03

Oh, you there's the you guys have conditions for each monster? What happens with the victorious? Well, they're critters, so it's like assumed that they just eat you. They just eat you. Yeah. What just happened, guys? We just got eaten.

SPEAKER_01

I mean, you guys can wake up.

SPEAKER_03

In the belly of the beast? Like a dinoga?

SPEAKER_01

The belly of a belly of a Starlac pit? You guys aren't like completely knocked out, so roll how many rounds you're out.

SPEAKER_03

They're slowly feasting on our bodies. Two rounds. Two rounds.

SPEAKER_06

Alright.

SPEAKER_05

Hmm.

SPEAKER_03

Can't beg against these things. I mean, we we just run, dude. Yeah, we just have to run. We should have just ran. I didn't I didn't realize how dangerous they'd be. Nor did I. Just a couple plants.

SPEAKER_01

Oh, they're uh giant manning plants.

SPEAKER_03

You know what you need in that picture that you showed us, Ben? A person for scale. No, no, no. It's like something for scale, because I I just assumed they were like a couple feet tall, like a little piranha plants, but it turns out like Audrey tubes.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, they're like full-grown Audrey tubes.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, yep. Not that that would have changed the way we encountered them at all. Still been we would have still been like, yeah, maybe we can take them. Yeah, no, we we have to remember we can't take anything, we have to run and be and be clever.

SPEAKER_04

Um all right, so although we didn't have much chance because we had to get unentangled or they guess anyway.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, yeah. I mean, yeah.

SPEAKER_05

Is Fran awake? Yes. So she just has to stand for two rounds so that we don't party.

SPEAKER_03

Um okay. Yeah, I guess you have to roll that out, Ben. She could be trying to drag Seth away or something. That might that be what I might do. Yeah, try to like might check to get him out of the way. Like leave leaving, like honestly, she'd leave us behind and try to save Seth and like hope that the beasts would just devour the two of us.

SPEAKER_01

All right, let's see how that uh turns out.

SPEAKER_04

Grimdarkheem.

SPEAKER_01

Success with a twist.

SPEAKER_03

Behind her is an even bigger Seth has been impregnated with bog snap eggs. Wow. Sorry. It's very alien.

SPEAKER_00

I don't feel good, guys.

SPEAKER_02

Hello, my baby. Hello, my honey, hello my rag.

SPEAKER_03

Oh. This would be a Schwartz class. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

May the Schwartz be with you.

Kaleidoscorpions And Disorientation

SPEAKER_01

All right. Um what's her face, Fran? What's her face, Fran?

SPEAKER_03

That's her first real name, actually. But uh he is badly wounded. Oh boy. He does take a lasting injury.

SPEAKER_04

He's covered with thorns, puncturing all of his vital organs.

SPEAKER_01

Um, and what that what does that mean for you two? Uh you two rounds pass of you being like entangled by these things.

SPEAKER_03

You wake up and you're both facing down the mouth of a a bog snap. The I guess the lucky thing is is both of you can't be eaten at once.

SPEAKER_04

I am gonna try to headbutt mine with ruffian and knock it out.

SPEAKER_03

As it's like putting me into its mouth.

SPEAKER_04

I'm gonna try to be like, boom!

SPEAKER_03

I was gonna I was gonna narrate us at least getting away from them. All right. Like like it won't be a too terrible, like it won't be a too Dez X mocking a thing, I think. Well, you can combo like Hooch can knock you guys free, and then Rundo. Go for it.

SPEAKER_04

Alright, I'm I'm gonna try, I'm gonna ruffian with a headbutt against the one that's about to eat me.

SPEAKER_03

That's an eight. I'll use a quest point to make it a nine. Everything in the bug is minus three, so sorry. Oh, jeez.

SPEAKER_04

Um, so that's a nine. I gotta upgrade the quest point. I gotta go for the third quest point.

SPEAKER_03

You guys need to check if you're uh wounded as well.

SPEAKER_06

Oh four, three, it's plus vitality.

SPEAKER_04

Oh, uh six, five, five for me, two.

SPEAKER_01

It's two.

SPEAKER_03

Oh, Brendo's definitely wounded. She could choose to use a quest point. Yeah, I would use a quest point, definitely. Um the the armor is resist death, not wounds, right?

SPEAKER_01

Um, it depends on which what kind of armor you have.

SPEAKER_03

I got uh I thought I had a helmet. Superb Goloshes. It's not gonna help. Your helmet is only on your defy death roll. Right, yeah. I have a hard hat on, which helps. Okay. That's good. But if you have chest armor that would help resist wounds, right. Alright. So you've knocked the thing in the face, kind of freeing you guys momentarily. Brendo, can you bring it home with your minus one because you're wounded? Yeah. Uh a narrator, uh, and then Brendo and Hooch with a start. The bog snacks of bog snaps apparel drove them apart, sliding down embankments to water below. Are they safe from the bog snacks? Nobody know. That's so good. I have to like pre-write things, otherwise, I can't I can't just spit them out. Well, I mean, how how much pre-writing could you have done? Like, this is a random encounter. No, I mean, like, so I don't know if like we could we would slide down and be like separated, but at least away from these things, yeah. Okay, I feel like that's at least plausible. Yeah, let's do it. I use Ode to re-roll my own ability. Can you? That's not how it works. It's not how it works.

SPEAKER_01

Um what's your uh totes?

Riddle Room And Secret Passage

SPEAKER_03

This is a higher it's actually four minus one is three. Plus the quest point that wouldn't matter. It don't work, but there's a plus. Maybe yes. Uh failure with a plus. Um maybe we don't like maybe we don't roll that far from the uh box naps.

SPEAKER_01

Um you guys are gonna have to run like legitimately run away.

SPEAKER_03

You can't just uh Yeah, narrate it. All right. Uh Q the agony sacks.

SPEAKER_01

All right. So it is uh roll beep.

SPEAKER_03

Let's do a little chase scene.

SPEAKER_01

Okay.

SPEAKER_03

Scooby-doo style.

SPEAKER_01

Here's how it's gonna work. Alright, you guys gotta get three successes before you get three failures.

SPEAKER_03

I like it. I like it, I like it, I like it.

SPEAKER_01

And you will describe how you are aiding your escape. So one of you will have to make two checks.

SPEAKER_04

I'll do the two checks.

SPEAKER_03

Definitely.

SPEAKER_01

I mean you could you could you'll switch off, you'll alternate. So uh whoever wants to go first, describe what you're doing. You have to do something different each time, use a different ability or skill.

SPEAKER_03

Okay, um, I will run through we're in thode stool to thicket.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03

I will um I'll run through an area with a bunch of uh uh thhodes, like all like burping at each other, and I'll slingshot one of them in the eye right behind us to spring into action, maybe jump in front of the bog snaps. All it does is eat me. I roll a one that eats fresh. Yeah, if you roll a one that eats me, I like it.

SPEAKER_04

All right, all right. Um, what is that? Nimbleness. Oh god, that's a five, and I have no quest points.

SPEAKER_03

All right, that is one failure. Um sorry, George. They got eaten by those. That should have worked.

SPEAKER_02

Um, no, it's fine, dude. We're gonna make it. Uh swashbuckler.

SPEAKER_03

Uh, I'm gonna pull uh hooch a different direction uh out of the path of the thhods, and I'll say, quick, let's scramble up this embankment. I don't think the bug snaps can follow us. Um, so it'll be a fairly steep embankment with some vines that we can climb.

SPEAKER_01

What are you using?

SPEAKER_03

Uh swashbuckler.

SPEAKER_02

Okay.

SPEAKER_03

What's going on?

SPEAKER_00

The worst rolls in history.

SPEAKER_03

It it's like every time it's been a one. Yeah, that's like four ones. I'm gonna, yeah, I'm gonna I'm gonna reload. We have done nothing successfully. Reloading roll twenty. Um you guys are just getting like cornered and turned around by these vines that are whipping in front of you, and like yeah, you're going in circles. It looks dire at this point. You guys have to do that. We have to get one six for one failure. Yeah. Oh my god, Ben. Um it's your turn, James.

SPEAKER_02

Uh I can't beg.

unknown

All right.

The Book That Demands Everything

SPEAKER_03

Wait, too proud to beg? I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna do some that uh that you didn't like the dynamite, aren't you? We already I don't have any dynamite left. What's wrong with us? Don't even have dynamite. Um would it be insane if I used bar bar fly again? I I love the idea that it becomes like a siege situation which the bar is being sieged by bog snaps, just like whipping through the windows. I mean, if you become something creative, it it's not gonna be like you're protected. It's it counts as one success in this chase. So you maybe like the chase just goes through the bar. Yes, that's kind of what I that's almost exactly what I was thinking. We we pause and rehydrate and then keep going. So I what yeah, what I was gonna say is um we spot like a hollowed-out log, and it's like it looks like it's like a bar filled with like little things, but it's just big enough for us to hunch inside, and we we run right through it. I don't even know the name of the place, but I do stop to take a rascal cider from the bar as we run through. It's like only a thimbleful because everything's little. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like it's like boggles and brownies and fairies and something.

SPEAKER_00

Get out of here, get out of here, lonely, it's your own place.

SPEAKER_01

There's like an 80s, like uh what slow motion replay.

SPEAKER_03

Oh diving out of the way, some boxes exploding. Well, it doesn't matter. You guys are doing great here.

SPEAKER_04

This is uh this is this is a three.

SPEAKER_03

Straight up three. You dive headlong into a log, and you're just stuck there, and the bug snaps each like that. My mushroom like hats. Can't I can't lie, just like hit directly into it and knock myself out. That was the third failure. We're dead. I mean, Ben's Ben's tried. He's tried so hard to not kill us.

SPEAKER_02

But these rolls, oh Lord, you guys are worse roles again by these bog snaps.

SPEAKER_03

You can see that they like pluck themselves out of the ground. See the roots looks like they're ravenous. Uh oh, I I um I'm gonna use my level five ability called Troop to enlist the help of a bard in the performance scene to uh come get eaten by these things instead of us. It's like all a lot of my abilities are like unlikely to be useful in this area of the world. Yeah, same. Um James, you want to or do you have any exhausted abilities you want to use again? I can I can ode you. I have two more abilities.

SPEAKER_05

I have a similar ability where I can summon a gang like other rascals that I know to help me with a heist or like a specific shakedown or task, and then I could do backstabber if I I could attempt to do backstabber against uh one of them and maybe kill it. Okay, all right.

SPEAKER_01

Well, it's the top of the round. Um try to wrangle them somehow.

SPEAKER_04

I mean, should I try to kill one? Like, is it worth it?

SPEAKER_06

I don't know.

SPEAKER_03

Uh I mean both of our abilities are just summoning like manpower, just like meat to like throw at the enemy. Yeah, I don't even think I don't even think I can use mine because where is a barred troop gonna come in the middle of you know where is a gang? You guys just oh yeah, we just did we just go through a bar. That's fair. No, no, that that no, that fit. Yeah, it didn't happen. Otherwise, that would have been we would have had the options. It was just one brownie having tea in the window of our house.

SPEAKER_01

Um look, you guys are free to use the abilities at your your disposal. Like, I'm not gonna say you can't use no, I know.

Keys Found And Ice Wall Problem

SPEAKER_03

Um, I only have three more abilities and no quest points. So uh I'm going to try to use backstabber on one of them and just hope I roll well and can nuke it from orbit. All right, you're you'll have to uh get initiative.

SPEAKER_01

I can't do perception. That's five. I don't know. I have zero perception.

SPEAKER_00

Because I'm a mushroom, I don't know anything.

SPEAKER_03

You guys re-roll new characters. I hope you uh realize that increasing skill points may have helped. Yeah, that is that is the worst that is the worst thing to say. That is like even worse, so is that I just increased the skill point and it did nothing for me. So I will never do it again.

SPEAKER_00

I'll never do it again.

SPEAKER_03

Um hold on. I have I may have a get out of jail card here. I already died, so I have none.

SPEAKER_04

Oh wait, you already they already killed you? No, no, I mean I I used my folk ability.

SPEAKER_01

How much you should probably I don't think you ever determine how much each yeah, oh yeah.

SPEAKER_04

What is it, a d4? D6?

SPEAKER_01

D6 plus your level.

SPEAKER_04

All right, eight. That's not bad. That's not bad. It's a good chance that they'll miss me. It's a v6 that they'll miss me. I am minus two, so if I can just live for like one hit, then I might be able to kill one.

SPEAKER_03

So let me see if I get finished. Whenever I could turn my rolls around, this would be the time I want it to happen. Okay, alright. We're gonna roll another narrator check to use a quest point to make it possibly work.

SPEAKER_01

Okay.

SPEAKER_03

You didn't even need to roll initiative for that. Oh, that'd be my narrator check. Sure. Okay. I'm not gonna tell you what it was. Uh and then our two heroes joined at the hand, heroic and mighty, they took their last stand. Before they were eaten, a rumble did sound, a hole opened up and they plunged deep underground. Nice. Plus one for rhyming. Fell into a sinkhole. Plus one for quest point. So there's an underground cavern that they won't follow us into. At least it's like out of the frying pan, maybe into the fire, but it's like yeah, at least we can like have a second to assess the fire.

SPEAKER_01

All of a sudden, yeah, the ground gives way.

SPEAKER_03

You you see like everyone, like even the box snaps falling. I was hoping they wouldn't fall too. But it's just it's like a uh a wave of dirt, and you guys tumble down a sinkhole, and you splash into some water. Um you have no idea where you are. You look up and then you just see a pinhole of light. Falling quite a ways. Oh, yeah. Uh, I'm gonna say you probably take dread from this fall. Ben, I I know James just rolled his HP, but I was crafting my terrible statement. What would how do we do the HP as D6 plus your level? Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

Good thing I just leveled up. I got half my life back.

SPEAKER_03

Nice. But I'm about to lose right now, but that's fine. Yeah, you take one point of dread. Oh, I'm a bird. Can I just float down? Oh, yeah. Or could that would that be the implication that I only took one dread because I floated down?

SPEAKER_01

Uh well, all this stuff is like yeah, above, yeah.

SPEAKER_03

It's fine. I'll take one dread. Um I can see in the dark. I have it, I'm proficient in seeing in the dark. Brendo laying on his back on the description. Since we don't have that torch anymore, Orlando says to you. Thanks for sharing, Hooch. I can hooch. I can see in the dark.

SPEAKER_01

Well, you can sort of see in the dark, make a perception check of advantage to uh scope out what's ahead of you.

SPEAKER_03

Hmm. I do it. Hooch uses fungi recognition and realizes that we're surrounded by his people. I roll an eight. Oh no, I'm sorry, a nine, so I I succeed.

Camp, Reflections, And Closing Notes

SPEAKER_01

Uh you see something um lurking in the water to the left of you, but there's also a path, like a tunnel that goes on straight ahead.

SPEAKER_04

I will Brendo, there's something up ahead, but there's a tunnel that I think we can take. I don't know what's in that water though. It could be nasty.

SPEAKER_03

Um, I am gonna use good news. And I'm gonna make up a positive fact about this place that these are the toadstool tunnels, and they're um populated ex exclusively by vegetarian toads. But they like live veggies like these these plants, I think. Roll it. Roll it, roll it, he says.

SPEAKER_01

Roll it, he says. Show me that four.

SPEAKER_03

Uh am I oh yeah, minus one because of the the wound. Uh it hurts who wounded. It's a four. It's not true, none of it.

SPEAKER_01

Um it's not true, uh, but it is a throw.

SPEAKER_03

There are they eat lots of things. Yeah, they're indiscriminate in their uh culinary cuisine. Um could I we could toss at the quiche and like maybe sneak by.

SPEAKER_01

Here boy, here boy.

SPEAKER_04

Throw it at the uh thing.

SPEAKER_03

Toss quiche in the water. We have one quiche each, we're both armed with quiche. I hand you a quiche and I say, I don't know what to do, hooch, but I'm gonna throw this thing.

SPEAKER_00

Hey, little fella, maybe I got a milk phone.

SPEAKER_04

Uh I will um I'm gonna inch forward with the quiche in my hand and like go like mmm, yum, and like try to like have if it's gonna stick a giant tongue out and grab me, like maybe it'll grab the quiche and said kind of thing. Yeah. Uh make a charm check.

SPEAKER_06

Oh boy.

SPEAKER_03

Ten. Nice. Um, can I do the same thing? No, I already went. Shoot. Yeah, you you don't need to. I mean, this is like root activity.

SPEAKER_01

We got one success, let's not risk it.

SPEAKER_03

No, yeah. Like wraps around the quiche, and like there's a weird moment where it's like pulling on your arm too, but it lets go. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04

I'll be like, come on, Brenda, let's go. Let's get it, get the heck out of here. We sneak. All right.

SPEAKER_06

We've befriended the toad.

SPEAKER_01

You can go down the dark tunnel.

SPEAKER_03

Let's do it. Where are the bug snaps and all this? Not to look at gift force in the mouth. You can see like writhing happening underneath the dirt behind you.

SPEAKER_04

Partially buried. Should we finish them?

SPEAKER_07

No.

SPEAKER_03

I would critically miss the the coup de gras. And then it pulls you in like a grand boy. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

No. Um, all right. So you guys, it's been a long day. This is like most of the day. You guys could push ahead. Um I feel like we have to find somewhere to unless we can you know hunker down the tunnel behind us. Oh yeah, it's really not safe where you are.

SPEAKER_03

It's not we gotta keep pushing, yeah. Yeah, we could we we um push, we take a click. Yeah. We take a click with it.

SPEAKER_01

Make vitality checks, both of you.

SPEAKER_03

All right. I 12. Oh, finally nine. That's including my um wounded penalty. Nice.

SPEAKER_01

So you guys um are able to push ahead without any issue.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

Um make a realms check now.

SPEAKER_03

My turn?

SPEAKER_05

Yeah. Uh yes, I'm the one that this bef befell us in the last one.

SPEAKER_02

I got some news for you.

SPEAKER_03

Oh boy, oh boy. Um what happened to like the C of sixes I was rolling? You know, like I'll take that. I'll take that. This is like another uh Rendo in Wonderland. Another perilous, this is a perilous encounter. Fish called Wanda. Um D100, George. 65. We have to avoid this one somehow. We have to just get the hell out. I burned all my quest points, I think.

SPEAKER_05

I think I have one quest. I have no quest points and no powers, except for I have no I have, I guess I have to do that.

SPEAKER_01

All right, this is uh kind of funny. You guys, as you go, as you are in this tunnel, you fall into another sinkhole.

SPEAKER_03

What that's too much. We're like 300 feet below sea level now.

SPEAKER_01

This is like oh you're spat out into what looks like an abandoned mine filled with just like random passages. You guys have entered a random dungeon.

SPEAKER_03

Oh, this is the worst, but kind of the best. No, I was gonna say, did we get a treasure near academy? But yeah. The treasure, yes.

SPEAKER_02

I I agree with you.

SPEAKER_03

But we're we just have to not die in here. That's uh that's a tall order. Gotta get five keys. Gotta get five keys. Um yeah, so now you guys are if you keep pressing on, you definitely will become tired. Well that's camp for the night.

SPEAKER_04

Is there a way to secure this area that we're in so we can rest?

SPEAKER_01

No, no, no. Are you a loyal chum?

SPEAKER_04

Uh no, I'm not a loyal chum. And I have no traps or anything, no gear.

SPEAKER_03

Let's just uh sleep in shifts. And that's all we can do. Can we forage for tubers? No, we have uh weef up one of our keys. I assume Fran and and Seth have like run off. Like this, they're you guys are majorly separated. They're majorly separated.

SPEAKER_05

Yeah, we'll catch them, we'll catch up to them when we get to that that tomb or that.

SPEAKER_03

But when we catch up to them, they're gonna be like, you abandon us.

SPEAKER_04

I don't think that they'd think that. Yeah. They're being eaten by predatory. If anything, they abandoned you. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_03

I mean, if we're gonna come back and find them, it's gonna be for revenge. Yeah, we're gonna kill them on their their wedding day.

SPEAKER_00

Nice sword, Seth!

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_03

That's too good. All right, let's do it. Let's just let's camp and we'll we'll see how it goes. That's what I'd say we do. Yeah, I like it. We'll let the roles decide. Let the earls decide.

SPEAKER_01

All right, um, what do you do at camp? Camp candy? Camp candy.

SPEAKER_00

The bug bites, the beard bites, the bark of the tree bites.

SPEAKER_03

Are you gonna spend time to tell a story or say anything, or just like be quiet and eat? I I I mean, I mean, I feel like I feel like maybe this was a bad idea, this whole thing, harn beard, you know, trying to take down the tricky toes.

SPEAKER_04

I'm losing faith in my own personal quest from what were we thinking, man?

SPEAKER_03

We're just a couple of city slickers after Curly's gold. We don't belong in here. Yeah. We both have major qualms about her quests, I think. Or like maybe maybe we should just go back.

SPEAKER_01

Brendo, who uh yeah, it's all about your mom, dude.

SPEAKER_03

I know. Yeah, but you know, maybe there's another way that doesn't involve being out here in the quagmash. Yeah, I mean, this was all my idea, Hooch. Brendo. Oh, you're evil, Hooch, aren't you?

SPEAKER_02

I knew yeah, that's the perilous encounter.

SPEAKER_00

The docks room tower with us.

SPEAKER_03

I say no, I tell Hooch not to blame himself. It seemed like a good idea. Like, I I was on board with it, but um look, if we ever get out of here, you know, I'll let you call the shots from now on.

SPEAKER_04

That wouldn't be a good idea.

SPEAKER_03

We're team, hooch. We're team.

SPEAKER_04

If you don't think that'd be a good idea, then where does it leave us?

SPEAKER_03

Like what then what are we gonna do? Dang it, hooch. We ride together, we die together. I shake him.

SPEAKER_04

I I uh I almost eat the dark shroom that I have on me, but remember that it's poison. And uh I guess we could I have well, I have rotten fish. Do we have any do we oh we have one quiche to eat?

SPEAKER_03

I have a man-eating warbler and a crack. Uh it's fair. We still haven't consumed the roadbread somehow. Oh, that's true. The quiche is not something that lasts a long time, so you should eat it. We split the quiche. Roll a d6 to heal myself. And to say I'd roll a d6 to see if I eat the quiche. I don't. It's uh magic quiche.

SPEAKER_01

You you do eat it. It just resumed. It's not a rat.

SPEAKER_03

Oh, that's right. Uh then to regain hit points is a d6 plus level.

SPEAKER_01

Just a d6, my friend.

SPEAKER_03

Just a i I should I rolled a six? Wow. I rolled a six again. We we just rolled four sixes in a row. Four sixes in a row, yet couldn't roll worth the bang. Uh no, sir. We we feel hope in our bellies full of in this dank. You also covered uh any any wandering intruder coming and bothering you because of the quiche. That's good. I smelled it. It was we critically succeeded. The quiche was turning and like the anything that was worth it. Anything was uh we spend the whole night farting at the into the fire. The only thing that keeps it going is there's no more wood. Uh you when you wake up, you have one of those moments where you don't know where you are, and it's like really jolting. Yeah. Uh you realize you're in a dungeon. I can't see anything. Well, we're in this dungeon and uh the likelihood of our success is low. Uh well, you know, never tell me the odds. Um, I light my torch. It is still useful. Oh no, I got eaten by that stupid guy.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah, we have no fire. I I can I can see in the dark, but that's it. We have to like take we have to make torches or something.

SPEAKER_03

I put on the wizard hat. Does nothing. It makes you feel powerful, but it has no abilities. Yeah. But you should rather wizard it.

SPEAKER_01

It is dark, and that will likely be an issue of uh just fear, a sense of horrible fear that you're feeling.

SPEAKER_03

Just like take metal checks and move forward. Yeah, it would take one courage or lose one courage each time or each round we're in here. Um, can I search the room? Like, because this is a dungeon, right? Not like a or is it a cave? Is it like a it seems like it's abandoned mine. Yeah, abandoned mine. Okay, could I could I use I want to use search to see if I can't combo my seeing in the dark with like probing the walls to find any torches that might be still hung up on the walls all this time. Oh cool.

SPEAKER_07

Okay.

SPEAKER_03

Amazing. You find an armful of torches.

SPEAKER_05

Um that's so I can see in the dark, and this is for torches still a six.

SPEAKER_02

Ben, I'm still wounded, correct? Sorry.

SPEAKER_03

Find a torch, but it's in the hand of a skeleton.

SPEAKER_01

Oh yes. Oh, I found one! Give it, give it. Um, yeah, you find a torch. Um so yeah, let's jump into the random dungeon procedures where you will be rolling a D12 plus search for each room as you progress. Uh let's ask, though, what is your goal? Is it just to uh escape?

SPEAKER_03

I think our goal is to escape. And if we happen to find treasure, that'd be great. Well, because the thing is you have to give up keys to get the treasure, right? So it's like you either escape if that's the goal, or use them to be. Right, right, right. Which is gonna be the exit. Yeah, so agreed. We agree that yeah, the exit is our goal. If we do well enough and find keys, it's gonna change our positioning and we're gonna try to go for the treasure. Oh, yeah, 100%. Because we're mostly full on courage, mostly.

SPEAKER_04

Mostly. I'm full. I have no abilities, but I'm full. I mean, I have some abilities. I have two abilities. Three three things I can do, which maybe enough. I don't know.

SPEAKER_01

Let's kick this off. All right, uh, George, make a search check.

SPEAKER_02

I'm gonna make a search check.

SPEAKER_03

It's gonna be a five. All right, you counter hazard. Oh still. World of D. Then how do I get rid of wings again?

SPEAKER_01

Uh you have to rest for a while for okay.

SPEAKER_03

There are like potions that do it. Right. First aid kits. I don't know. Uh I got a six. Okay, that is I'm not gonna tell you.

SPEAKER_01

Roll a d100.

SPEAKER_03

100 teacup spiders. 84.

SPEAKER_01

Spiders. All right, there's a large boulder that sits in the middle of a room that has no doors.

SPEAKER_03

The answer is time that has no doors. Kind of comes, it looks like a dead end. How did they get it in here? Is the boulder in the center of the room or like blocking a passage? No, it's just in the center. Uh it's in the middle of the room. Oh is the the boulder alive in any way? You get closer, and carved into the rock are some words. It says forwards, I'm heavy, backwards, I'm not.

SPEAKER_06

It's a ton.

SPEAKER_03

At that a hatch immediately opens in the floor leading down. I love dungeons, and I jump in. It's amazing.

SPEAKER_01

For our viewers, there's not picking that up. Ton, that's heavy. Forwards, you read it forwards, backwards, it says not.

SPEAKER_03

Yep, yeah. Wordplay is the word play. And Georgie is a genius. No, I just if it's I always answer time, and this is the only time I didn't. Yeah, you I heard you say time. I want I've said it several times now. The answer for the riddle is time. We we made that a running joke in Dungeoneer Adventures number two, George. Did you really? We did. I love time and water. Yeah, those are the universal answers for riddles. Gotta be. Dungeoneer Adventures 2. Quest for more money. Um let's hope. So we jump in. We don't we don't find a key, but we uh move to another area for another check, correct? Yeah, you find a a corridor that goes downwards, James. Make a search check.

SPEAKER_05

Yes, we'll do. That is three.

SPEAKER_03

Sorry, George. It's off to a great start. Yeah, dude. It's fine. We're still alive somehow. That's uh I know that I'm gonna buff my search after this quest. That's for sure. I am gonna penalize it more.

SPEAKER_01

I'm gonna give myself XP. Um, all right.

SPEAKER_03

Roll me a d6 and a d100. Yep, here it comes. A four and a 67. I love random dungeons, though. They're fun. They are fun. Just like crazy Ernie uh his house in that last time. Two whole sessions we were in that random dungeon, man. God, Gail Robaldo. Was that her? Was that Gail Robaldo?

SPEAKER_05

Was it Gail Robaldo?

SPEAKER_01

Hey Noodle.

SPEAKER_03

I don't know. Noodle seems to think so. I know, she's so beautiful.

SPEAKER_01

Um come into a place, uh sort of rocky area of this abandoned mine, and there are kaleidoscorpings all over the the walls and ground.

SPEAKER_03

It's like the the walls and ground are like illuminated with weird shifting colors kind of thing. Yeah. It's it's very disorienting to look at. Um getting hypnotized by colidoscorpions.

SPEAKER_04

I wonder if we could like blindfold ourselves, or that'd be terrifying.

SPEAKER_02

I don't know.

SPEAKER_04

Um do they do they hypnotize you? Um probably not a lot to eat down here. Maybe we can like throw a fish at them and they'll like go crazy. Give it a shot.

SPEAKER_03

It's like you know, to pass through this corridor, it's a lot of them. Like yeah, they're all over. Yeah. All over. So like throwing a piece of fish might distract some, but yeah.

SPEAKER_05

So um, could I attempt to uh navigate them with nimbleness?

SPEAKER_01

Um straight up doing that will be difficult.

SPEAKER_03

Okay. So you'll have an advantage. All right. Um, I meant what I want to do is like toss a fish like in the in our path, like get them all piled up, and then try to navigate around where they start to collect on the fish. What do you think, George? I mean, I I don't disagree with that. I think it's good. I just I'm limited for what I can do, and I can't I can't lie to a scorpion. So I don't know. Yeah, I can.

SPEAKER_04

I blow all of my creative abilities on the scorpions that don't know.

SPEAKER_03

I'm gonna use blending into a crowd to uh blend to the crowd of scorpions.

SPEAKER_04

Um all right, I'm gonna I'm gonna toss the uh man-eating warbler because I've decided to give up on my dream of ever being able to trade in 12 fish for that boat.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03

Uh you take you take him out of the fish tank you've been hauling this entire time.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah. I'm uh I'm gonna toss that. Should I roll an attack or um no?

SPEAKER_06

That's fine. All right, I'll toss it and wait, see if it has any effect.

SPEAKER_01

Um yeah, what what where are you throwing it?

SPEAKER_03

I'm trying to throw it like to the left or the right of the clearest path to the next area, to like the to the door, way out of out of this room.

SPEAKER_01

Okay. You see, well, yeah, actually, do make a check.

SPEAKER_04

All right. That's a 12. I can throw a fish.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, there's a big uh group of them that swarm to it. It looks like you could make a quick move to to jump into that clear landing area and then jump across.

SPEAKER_03

Okay. You um you want to go for it, George? You want to go first? Yeah, I'll do a jump through. Um, can I just fly? Yeah. Yeah, totally.

SPEAKER_01

I'll I keep forgetting you have wings. Yeah. Um you will the athletic. The problem is the kaleidoscorpion kaleidoscopes are still disorienting.

SPEAKER_03

Just like fly directly in the middle. What shall I roll? Yeah, like a moth in a flame.

SPEAKER_06

Oh let me see.

SPEAKER_04

If only we had a flamethrower. All right.

SPEAKER_01

Like a metal check.

SPEAKER_06

Okay.

SPEAKER_02

What if I failed that?

SPEAKER_03

I have good metal too. It's like I it's a three. It's just you have plus three metal? No, I have plus plus two, so I'm saying a total of three, but it's bad rolls. Alright, so you go flying and you kind of like lose your way. Uh, you get stung, is what happens.

SPEAKER_00

Oh no. My toe, my toe.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

Tippy toe.

SPEAKER_03

You take two dread.

SPEAKER_04

Whoa, it's a D12 dread.

SPEAKER_01

You bounce off the wall.

SPEAKER_03

Hooch gets stabbed through the heart. I yell at him not to take out the barb, but he does and he dies immediately. Yeah, but you you stumble over to the other side. Um, let me see. I give Hooch a thumbs up and pass out. Trying to find James. What are you doing? Uh I was gonna hop across, but if he's in trouble, I do have another fish that I could throw. I've got a quag dad that I could throw. I'm good, dude.

SPEAKER_04

I just might be. You gotta handle yourself. Okay, then I'll hop through.

SPEAKER_01

Okay, make a nimbleness check.

SPEAKER_03

12. You so nimbo make a uh metal check. 14. Dang, dude, nice. Alright, so you easily get through without getting disoriented.

SPEAKER_04

That wasn't so bad.

SPEAKER_03

Hey Brendo, Brendo, do you see all the colors of the rainbow?

SPEAKER_00

I see colors everywhere.

SPEAKER_03

It's wild down here. Hooch, you're radiating some kind of dark energy. Languidly flapping your wings in the air, both you're not even in sequence, just like oh, this is wild.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03

So uh Brendo, your feathers are like shifting colors. This is exciting. Wildly. You say that like it's a bad thing.

SPEAKER_01

It makes you stand out. It's fine. It's actually making you glow little, which is uh might help in a dark environment.

SPEAKER_03

Interesting. And un unforeseen benefit. It's not great for sneaking. That's fine. Ben, is this forever? Like, can that's can this be part of my bard act? It's not forever. It's like uh nothing good ever happens to me.

SPEAKER_02

Okay, all right. We can get a show out of it. Um I say, uh why am I glowing?

SPEAKER_03

Uh I don't know, but you look great. And uh I don't mind having the extra light. I concentrate really hard on glowing and it does nothing. Just uh we go to the next room.

SPEAKER_01

Yes, you still have zero keys, you're like lost in this dungeon.

SPEAKER_02

I mean, we're we're doing pretty good. Uh we got a light source now, you know.

SPEAKER_05

Yeah, we do we did improve. We have a light source for for two days or whatever it is.

SPEAKER_03

It's an M light source, but it's you know something. It's something. All right, James or uh George. Oh yeah, it's me turn me turn. It's me turn. 11. Uh wow, there we go, 10. We have one bonus. We gained a key. Yes.

SPEAKER_02

Hey, who twist this for?

SPEAKER_01

It's a key, buddy boy. Brando, describe how that happened.

SPEAKER_03

Yes. So uh we're stumbling forward out of this room full of kaleidoscorpions, and uh we enter kind of a large circular room with uh a thin shaft of light just streaming down from the uh from the ceiling, like a pinhole point of light, and I've just go stand in it and I spread my wings and it refracts off of me and casts a uh a shape into the wall or a light into the wall, illuminating where we should go.

SPEAKER_01

So it only could have happened because you were stung by this thing.

SPEAKER_03

And uh nobody knows. Nobody knows. You could have just anyone could have just stood there, you know, could have been the right time of day. It happened to work out that way. I was uh resonating the right frequency of light.

SPEAKER_06

Alright. Uh like it. Hooch, you're up. I am the light, hooch. I am the light. It's a four, he says.

SPEAKER_03

It's a four. Sorry. Okay.

SPEAKER_01

Uh that's another hazard.

SPEAKER_03

He says, I hope we get a roll. I hope you roll a five or six.

SPEAKER_06

Yes. Almost forty.

SPEAKER_01

Um there is you walk into it looks like a library or something.

SPEAKER_03

Maybe it's like I love that there's a library down here. It's like the foreman's book office.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, it looks like some sort of office. Yeah. With dusty, dusty books. Yeah. Um like like textbooks and uninteresting histories on banking.

SPEAKER_03

High school algebra and it's like a lot of stuff on psychological excavating tunnels and whatnot. Is a book with the words written in it, tell me everything.

SPEAKER_05

I I whispered a hooch. I said, Well, go ahead. I say everything with a question mark.

SPEAKER_03

Let's see if anything happens. That was my that was my guess too. Nothing happens.

SPEAKER_04

Um tell tell me everything.

SPEAKER_06

The me is the book, you think, George? I assume so. It's a pedestal.

SPEAKER_04

It's on a pedestal.

SPEAKER_01

There's no pedestal.

SPEAKER_03

It's um it's on a table. Um tell me everything. Uh it's the only book that's like open in this room. And and and just on the page it says tell me everything?

SPEAKER_04

Um how many other books are in the room? A bunch.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, they're all on shelves.

SPEAKER_04

What if we m what if we moved all the books to the table?

SPEAKER_06

Like it's like stack them up on the table or something.

SPEAKER_04

Uh well, there's a book on everything. You know, maybe it's something, but I don't know.

SPEAKER_03

What does the cover of the book say?

SPEAKER_01

Uh it says nothing. It's a blank. Cover. It's a blank book.

SPEAKER_03

It says tell me everything. On every page it says tell me everything. I started journaling. Two days pass. His life story is written into the book. It's everything. That's it. Do you have a pen? Yeah, could we search? Could we search for like a oh my gosh, I have a pen and paper. I do. That's amazing. Yes. I start journaling. Yeah. Alright, George. Make a might check.

SPEAKER_06

Slam shut on my hand. Oh, that's not that's not gonna be a success.

SPEAKER_03

Uh plus zero might, so that's a three. You get sucked onto the pages. Yes, you start getting sucked inside of this book. Can I uh can I grab him? Yeah. Um gets sucked in. I'm gonna grab him and like try to pull him free of it. Right, make a might check.

SPEAKER_06

14.

SPEAKER_03

Alright, you go both go tumbling backwards, and the the book just goes like falls inert. Okay, all right. Um, I'm gonna go grab like one of the algebra books and try to put it on the book, like try to feed it. Like it. The algebra book. Uh nothing, absolutely nothing happens.

SPEAKER_04

Nothing happens, it doesn't suck it in.

SPEAKER_06

Is there any other exit in this room? No. This is a tricky one.

SPEAKER_03

Um can we write I was writing in the book, and that was when it started again. Journaling.

SPEAKER_06

Yeah. What if the book is the exit? Let's burn it.

SPEAKER_03

Oh, yeah. No, I mean I mean, it's that's a mighty risk.

SPEAKER_07

Tremendous.

SPEAKER_03

I uh turn to Hootness. I've always wanted to be immortalized, and I start doing that again. Um I don't know. This is um tell me everything. Tell me everything. Did it write everything on the page? Start getting sucked in again. No, that that works. That was my next everything. Yeah, that was my next one. All I had to do was not journal, and it's not all about me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was born as a young little egg. One of the shelves flips opening a secret chamber.

SPEAKER_05

Ah, beautiful, beautiful. Chamber secrets by Noodles now attacking my character sheet. Um let's go. Let's go through the chamber of secrets. Secrets of the soulless are reporter.

SPEAKER_02

Alright.

SPEAKER_03

James. Alright, search. Or no, is it maybe it's Brendo? Dang. Yeah, I don't remember. Uh big boy rules, James just rolls. I think it's Brando, actually. Alright. All right, Brendo. Let's get that one, baby. Nine. Nice, nice. You get a key. All right, two keys. Stanley Toolkey.

SPEAKER_01

How'd that happen, Brendo?

SPEAKER_03

Um, as we're transitioning through the bookshelf, we actually walk into the pages of a book, and it looks like the Take On Me music video. And uh, as we dance through the uh line drawings, uh we we feel uplifted by some really good music, and uh we just pop out the other side. The entire next room was just the take on me dance sequence from that video inside the page of the book.

SPEAKER_06

I like it a lot.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, thank you. Thank you.

SPEAKER_01

Okay, now Jimmy's turn.

SPEAKER_03

All right, Jimmy to go Dwayne, you know. Let's roll another 12. It's an eight. It's pretty close. An eight.

SPEAKER_01

Got any quest points?

SPEAKER_03

Nope.

SPEAKER_01

No, I don't. Gain a key, but you encounter hazard. So uh roll that up.

SPEAKER_04

All right, uh d6 over here, plus uh, you know what I mean. Three and a d Hundo 51.

SPEAKER_03

A 51. And uh just like shuffling it across the floor.

SPEAKER_04

I kick the key and it like jangles across the room and directly into the hazard.

SPEAKER_03

You stumble into a room, uh cold room, where there's like this solid frozen mass of ice that blocks the way. It's a wall of ice.

SPEAKER_04

Oh boy.

SPEAKER_03

Um enchantment!

SPEAKER_05

Sorcery.

SPEAKER_03

It's it's getting pretty cold in here, and uh it looks like this wall of ice is like five feet thick.

SPEAKER_06

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03

You know the five feet thick? No, I don't know. Your skull? No, that was uh direction. I just bang my head against the sorry, so we have a room that is just uh there's an ice wall five feet thick.

SPEAKER_04

Okay, it's cold in here, an ice wall, and it's five feet thick. That's really thick.

SPEAKER_03

It's thick with like five C's. Yeah. It's dummy thick wall. What can I what can it's a dummy thick wall. It's a dummy thick wall.

SPEAKER_05

What can I do?

SPEAKER_03

I uh oh, um I think you gave away your uh pick. I did.

SPEAKER_04

I did. I was looking for my pickaxe actually just now.

SPEAKER_03

Um I have an axe, we can hatch it through it. Just take turns hacking through the door. Yeah, five eternities later.

SPEAKER_04

Um we can start with that and then I could Can I search the room and see if there's any uh clue as to this uh enchanted uh frozen block?

SPEAKER_06

Oh, I'm gonna swash buckle or something. I'll use my last quest point to do it. Cool.

SPEAKER_01

Boy, what are you gonna say?

SPEAKER_05

Jamie. No, go for it, George.

SPEAKER_01

Oh I think your plan makes more sense. It's uh it's got it's got better legs, George.

SPEAKER_03

Uh you haven't even heard what I was gonna say. Well, you're using an active ability, using an ability which makes which like takes precedence over me just switching a room and then axing the door down while you come. Uh in this old mine was not without its uh amenities, and I realize that the reason there's so much ice here is an overactive AC unit. So I just find a thermostat and I turn it the other way, warm it up. A shrim thermostat. It's a shrimp thermostat. Um 11.

SPEAKER_02

That's with the penalty.

SPEAKER_03

Wow. Hey hooch, check this out. It's like the knob on my keytar. I'm already sweaty, like I've gotten six inches in with the axe. Oh wow, what's that? To thermostat. Okay.

SPEAKER_01

Okay. All right.

SPEAKER_03

This is uh it's gonna take a while, but um what it feels nice to we uh we gather water. Uh we have three keys, yeah. We gotta we gather water. You could probably rest here at this point. This might be a good place to stop. We've got three keys. Amazing.

SPEAKER_04

We set up camp, and uh, we have hope again after many near deaths today.

SPEAKER_03

Oh, jeez. And you encounter a wandering intruder next time. Oh boy.

SPEAKER_01

All right, guys.

SPEAKER_03

Uh well, that was wild. That was like the worst roles in the history of the Land of Eam. Like that was pretty rough. That was rough.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah, but super eventful. I mean, so many things happened in this quest. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

It's wild wild, wild stuff.

SPEAKER_03

Wild, wild stuff. Um that's the land of eam, baby. That's the land of eam. Thanks everybody for joining us. If you want to check out Land Veeam and use some of these resources, go to landaveam.com and download the beta rule set while you can. Um, it's only going to be available for probably just a few more weeks. So grab it and uh play it. And if you're looking for a group you already play and you're looking for a group or you want to GM a game, uh check out our Discord. All the links are at the bottom of this video. And uh we'll we'll see you next week. GM is short for Gungan Master, right? Yes.

SPEAKER_01

Yes. Uh you become master of the Gungas.

SPEAKER_03

And um, which is an offshoot of the uh of like a Sith cult, uh, because I I adhere to the to the popular belief that Jarjar became a Sith Lord after the events of the prequel trilogy. Yeah, that is indeed. I adhere to the theory that he was always a Sith Lord. Yeah. The guys. He is Plagueis, is what you're saying. Yeah, yeah. He is Darth Plagueis.

SPEAKER_04

Got it.

SPEAKER_03

Also known as Darth Gungas.

SPEAKER_02

It's all my fault. It's all my fault in bringing this up.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah. All right, everybody. Thanks for joining us, and we will catch you next week for reels. All right, bye-bye now. Yeah, bye-bye.