Hello, welcome to the Eam stream.
SPEAKER_04Hello. Happy Saturday.
SPEAKER_03Hello. Hello. How's it going? And a happy, happy pre-Easter Sunday. Indeed, it's Easter tomorrow. Priester. Priester. Yeah. Today in Land of Eam, there will be egg hunting.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. You guys are the eggs.
SPEAKER_03We're being hunted.
SPEAKER_02We're being hunted.
SPEAKER_04It's a nice uh, you know, rainy Saturday morning.
SPEAKER_03Ooh, that's right. Egg for showers, you know, that bring the May flowers. That means it's gonna be rainy for me in like a day. I'm very excited about this.
SPEAKER_02Uh yeah, it's been uh we we missed last week because we uh we went on a escapade together in real life, and uh now we're back in the saddle to play some Landavim arcade.
SPEAKER_04Indeed, playing some Land Eam. If you want to play Land Veeam or uh download this beautiful map that you see on screen, the beta rules, check out landaveam.com and download the beta rules while you can. Um they're not gonna be available much longer. Uh so grab them while you can and also get updates about the new crowdsourcing campaign. Plug over. Let's play some Landaveam.
SPEAKER_02Uh am I right? You are very excited. Never been more right.
I believe we are trapped in a random dungeon. That is also right. That's also true. Uh we we were uh fleeing bog snaps, vicious, vicious bog snaps, and uh everything was not turning up, Milh. Yeah, last quest was like calamity after calamity.
SPEAKER_04And uh which ultimately led to this calamity.
SPEAKER_02But but you do have three keys in this random dungeon.
SPEAKER_03Which means we're so close to a treasure chest.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, you have you have an up, you have some options. I mean, it's you could uh spend them right now and get a lesser horde, but ultimately you need to find five keys to escape because that's the uh parameters that we set.
SPEAKER_03So, James, I wonder, right? It's like do we keep pushing until we have like five keys, and then you we push farther up past that, uh, and then you know we get like three keys or something, and then we're like, oh man, this is getting too deadly, and then we bail at I think we go for the gold because the random dungeons are super fun anyway. So I'm down, I'm down. The answer to the riddle is always I'm down to clown. Um let me see if I can locate some XPs. Oh well, some HPs, some elucidate talking about here. Can you uh zoom in even further, Ben? Enhance. Well no, no, no.
SPEAKER_00Look right into its brain, you know what I mean?
unknownD heads.
SPEAKER_02So you guys have three keys. You could find an old horde right now, which is pretty good. Pretty good. Ancient horde, even better. Mythic horde, or you guys could escape. No, or you could spend it all on a mythic horde and go back to zero and have to find five more to get out of it, which is like very exciting.
SPEAKER_03I'm kind of into trying this because the mythic horde would change our characters. Yeah, because didn't I didn't the mythic horde give us in our previous campaign? Is that what gave us the um cupboard or whatever that teleported us to Epoli? Yeah, yeah. I mean we found a bona fide relic, and uh I think uh and it was it a mythic or an ancient horde that gave us the nimbus hammer as well. Oh yeah. Uh I mean it's gotta be. Um, so I have 10 out of 14 courage. That's the last I saw. Um, which is better than I thought it was gonna be.
SPEAKER_02And I think is what is old what does old hooch have in terms of courage?
SPEAKER_00I am looking, actually. I don't have it uh I'm I'm full. I'm 12 out of 12, so I'm in good shape.
SPEAKER_03Your hooch out of hooch. Your fooch hooch hooch dundee.
SPEAKER_02What's that creaking noise? That's my chair in apologies.
SPEAKER_04My chair started creaking over the last couple of weeks, and it's driving me insane.
SPEAKER_02Gotta put some WD 40.
SPEAKER_04I've tried I can't even tell you. I can't even tell you how much WD40 W D40. 40 gallons of WD 40. W W W W W D40. It's not taken. It's I can't, and there's some creaking spots that are like in the inner mechanism. Like, I'd have to disassembly.
SPEAKER_03I'd have to old yeller this chair. I might, but it's in your office space. Oh, hurts myself. I got a new chair recently. Welcome to Chairstream, guys.
SPEAKER_02We're gonna do an unboxing of our chairs. We're gonna do a deep dive on uh office chairs.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Uh no, let's uh let's let's jump right into this random dungeon.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, let's do a deep dive on this random dungeon. You know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying? I too. They do. I do too.
SPEAKER_02So uh why don't you uh let's kick it off?
Georgie. Uh ooh. In a random dungeon, what do I roll, Ben? I'm I'm just immediately needing reminded search. Uh I search high and low. What do my bird eyes see? Seven.
SPEAKER_00Okay.
SPEAKER_02Oh well uh you gain a key, but you also encounter hazard.
SPEAKER_03Uh uh. Okay, I say, oh, what's this key on the ground? And I pick it up, and obviously a pressure plate.
SPEAKER_02So roll uh D6 and AD100.
SPEAKER_03294 billion. It is a creature. I think. I forget. I think five and six is actually a creature.
SPEAKER_02No, five and six riddle. You guys uh walk into this uh musty den type of area that you see bones scattered all over the floor.
SPEAKER_03Actually, that is where I find the key, is in the pile of bones. Yeah, I pick it up and I say, Hey hooch, look at this key. Nice! Nice!
SPEAKER_02Immediately a growl in the darkness.
SPEAKER_03Oh boy. Uh I quickly look around for like webs or any indicator of what this creature might be.
SPEAKER_02There are no webs. You could uh make a perception check.
SPEAKER_03Definitely not an ilgath. Ooh. Uh it's like when they're combing the desert in space balls. And Times is completely anything.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. Do you guys have a light source?
SPEAKER_03Uh isn't who I can see in the dark, and I thought we had a torch. I feel like we had a light, yeah. We had a light source because we had resolved this issue before.
SPEAKER_02So you can't like always see the dark, yeah, but you have advantage on seeing the dark.
SPEAKER_03Can I use seeing in the dark to see the creature?
SPEAKER_02Can I use dancing in the moonlight? Perception with advantage.
SPEAKER_00Perceiving in the moonlight.
SPEAKER_02So you yeah, hooch, you see this creature, it looks to be uh like a used-to-be tiger. Um something you've really only heard about.
SPEAKER_03Um I have former live flashbacks about used-to-be tigers immediately. Uh uh, can I toss my quagdad at it?
SPEAKER_06Nice.
SPEAKER_03Um in an attempt to uh charm it with food.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, why don't you make a wilderness check?
SPEAKER_03That's an eight, but I will use a quest point to make that a nine. Wielderness. I cannot wield it. Alright.
SPEAKER_02Um it seems ravenous and just goes after it and tears it apart. You guys can make athletics checks to uh yeah get through here before it turns its attention back on you.
SPEAKER_03Let's do it, Georgie. Wait a minute. Let me let me see if there's any way I can like make the ooh, okay. I was gonna say, let's see if there's any way I can make this cat our friend. Um well, I just tripped and slid right into the cat.
SPEAKER_06Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
SPEAKER_03It doesn't like mushrooms. I'm gonna make up a fact about this cat that it doesn't like mushrooms. So it won't eat you. No, um so that's I've never thought about the fact that I am uh I'm a living mushroom.
SPEAKER_04You are a living I never I've never internalized it.
SPEAKER_03Yeah. Um can I make uh ooh, Ben, are all our powers back? Yeah. So so uh Hooch, can you describe your failure? Or or can we resolve your failure and then I'm gonna then we'll see what happens. Yeah, or do you want us both to make the athletics checks, Ben? Well, what are you doing? I was gonna, depending on how it works out, I was gonna see if I can finagle like a way to rescue Hooch and get past.
SPEAKER_02Uh what is your total, James?
SPEAKER_03My total is three. Yeah, you're in its mouth.
SPEAKER_02Okay, failure with the plus. Um George, why don't you just why don't you just like step in and do what you're gonna do?
SPEAKER_03Um I was gonna say that uh use Swashbucker to make up an advantageous feature object within visual range. And I was gonna say that there's kind of a sloping wall that's only about like a foot wide, like kind of like maybe a fallen over pillar that we can use to climb up high above where the tiger is and move to the other side of the room. But he can't quite follow or leap up there. Um, but I was hoping I could like pull up Hooch onto it. Couple actions going on there though.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, and I'm trying to think of like what couldn't a tiger leap up onto.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, in a random dungeon is is the problem, I guess, right? Because they can leap like 12 feet in the air.
SPEAKER_02Uh like a crevice a crevice.
SPEAKER_03Crevass Crevice that you could slip into something, uh yeah, but then it's it's still just a room, right? Like and I'm just stuck in a crevice. We gotta get past him.
SPEAKER_04Um how about what about like dangling vines from the swamp that you could climb up, but the tiger couldn't?
SPEAKER_03Yeah, I mean what about yeah, what about that? Maybe there's like a PE rope. PE rope. There's gym rope in here. I'm just gonna monkey tail. Ruts. Ruts. So give me ruts ruts coming in through the ceiling. Um maybe the advantageous feature is that there's like some rocks or loose ceiling that I could drop on the tiger. Because the roots have like broken through.
SPEAKER_02Alright, let's let's see what you're let's see what the role is.
Yeah, because all this isn't gonna matter when I get a one right now. There it is. Uh the making up of feature perception. It's plus one. Good, it's it's so it's a four. Oh. Yeah. There's a very sturdy roof above us with some roots breaking through. Nothing useful. I think that's yeah.
SPEAKER_02I mean, it's a failure with a plus. That's not exactly true, but um there are some hanging things that you could climb to maybe escape a certain death, certain immediate death, but it's not gonna get you anywhere.
SPEAKER_03Um, I'm mostly concerned about getting hoosh out of there, though. Well, um, oh my god. I'm so I'm Ben, I'm so stupid. I use Flinderdust. I should have just done this.
SPEAKER_02To make it fall asleep.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Okay.
SPEAKER_03So I just I didn't realize, yeah, we had that.
SPEAKER_04I mean, that tracks though, that means that like we see it, we panic, we f stumble all over the place. We make lots of noise while it's eating.
SPEAKER_06Yeah, yeah. Flinterdust.
SPEAKER_02Well, you know, your swashbuckler ability is an instant action that you don't, it's like a split second thing that you're just noticing. So you can do this still.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, okay. I'm gonna feed it flinterdust. Um, maybe tied to oh, do we oh there go maybe he'll eat the roadbread. I jammed a sack of flinder dust in the road bread and I slide it over to the tiger.
SPEAKER_02Well, the flinder dust is something that you just like throw at it blow in the face.
SPEAKER_03Oh sandman. Then I dance over to him and I go. But I inhale a little bit.
SPEAKER_04So I'll roll a one you pass up.
SPEAKER_03That should honestly, that's kind of that would be funny. I would I would be on board for that. You're gonna be taking it like a a success check to not put myself to sleep too.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, I mean you you're gonna have to roll, I'm not sure what like a nimbleness.
SPEAKER_03Nimbleness. Gotta be super nimbo, y'all. To get up there, blow it in his face. Oh no. No. Uh oh, can I re-roll my own abilities? Ode? Ode? No, for an ally. Shucks. Shucks, howdy. Um so what is what is that? It's a three.
SPEAKER_02It's a three.
SPEAKER_03Okay. Um so the failure put us both to sleep.
SPEAKER_02Um no, I mean the plus is that's it's all in the air. It's just not affecting him yet. It's bedazzling it.
SPEAKER_03Like it might take a round because it's not concentrated or something.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. So uh you're gonna be attacked.
SPEAKER_03I accept.
SPEAKER_02Um here we go.
SPEAKER_00Well, that was a lot, that was a long string of failures.
SPEAKER_02Right back where we started.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. Well, wow, I can't fuck this feeling anymore.
SPEAKER_03What's your defense? Uh I'm a bird. Um plus zero. I got talent.
SPEAKER_02No, it's uh zero. Alright, it swipes at you and completely misses, and then uh yeah.
SPEAKER_03You're trying to figure out is there a plus in there for it? I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
SPEAKER_02They have two actions.
SPEAKER_03Oh. Oh.
SPEAKER_02So that is a hit with a counterattack?
SPEAKER_06Uh-huh.
SPEAKER_03If I survive the hit.
SPEAKER_02Six dread.
SPEAKER_03Whoa, that's a lot of dreadful. Six dreadful. It's a tiger. Can my counterattack instead just be to like fan some dust in his face? Sure. Uh, I use my wing because it's built for fanning. No kidding. You know? It's Dakota fanning.
SPEAKER_02I'll give you a plus one.
SPEAKER_03Okay, then uh since it's uh wing attack. Who is that again? She's an actress. Um I recognize that I couldn't. Yeah. Uh sister to L fanning. Uh, regardless, this is this is your the plus one you gave me, Ben, uh negates my minus one and leaves it at a four. So all I've done is just flapped at him. Is it working? Is it working, Hooch? I'm unconscious.
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_03No, I'm okay. You've taken in all the dust. Your spores are now sleep spores.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. Uh we go to the next round. What are you guys doing?
SPEAKER_04Uh I think that we should attempt to escape.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, I mean, we can do the original nimbleness checks we wanted to do. Yeah. We can try again. Um, maybe this time the tiger is is uh getting a little more sluggish. Sluggish.
SPEAKER_02Sluggish. Yeah, you guys can make athletics checks with advantage.
Look at that guy. Look at this guy. Whoa. I got a tent. Um Georgie. I'll describe it. I'll describe it, man. I'll narrate myself. Uh in a moment of clarity. Uh Brendo remembers he's a bird. And he uses his wings to fly over the tiger, but in doing so, concentrates all the dust on the tiger by just flapping at him. He flaps over to the other side, lands safely.
SPEAKER_02You see the tiger's nose twitch, its whiskers twitch, and it um goes to like turn after you with uh just uh sinewy body rippling.
SPEAKER_03Sinewy. So he's in pretty good shape for being trapped in a random dungeon, is the what I say to Hooch.
SPEAKER_02Lean into propel off his big hindquarters, massive haunches. He just falls flat asleep.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, his eyes go with the pinholes and then he just collapses like an acme card.
SPEAKER_03Yeah. Uh I turn to Hooch, I pull out uh an axe and I say, Clue grab.
SPEAKER_02It's George going back to his uh DD 3.5 roots.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, he's incapitated. Uh now he'll be decapitated. Oh uh okay, it's it's crazy to search the room. It is.
SPEAKER_04This is a sleep used to be tiger and splinters floating around.
SPEAKER_02Like, what are you gonna search through a tiger? It's got like pockets or something. Yeah.
SPEAKER_00What's in its fanny patch?
SPEAKER_03I saw a key stuck in its teeth, Ben. No, no, you you pulled it out of the bones. Two keys out of the bones.
SPEAKER_04So we how many keys we have four keys now? Four keys. So we could escape, but I say we go for no we can't escape.
SPEAKER_03We need one more key. All right. Let's see. You could get an ancient horde.
unknownNo.
SPEAKER_03That's that is it's not that great. It's not a mythic word.
SPEAKER_02I mean, you escaped this encounter without losing any courage. So that's uh something that's not true.
He took some courage. A tiger attacked him. You know. Um I'm fine. I'm fine. I'm not terrified at all. I say we I say we go for the keys. We further explore this dungeon and see if we can blow up. Yeah, we changed this game. We push into the next room and we push the button to close the door because that's how it works. It makes yeah, it's like a like a Star Trek sound. It's like yeah. Uh we're in a completely black room and a spotlight turns on in the middle. James, roll the search check.
SPEAKER_04Okay, that's an 11. If only I had plus one. Family.
SPEAKER_02Alright. You uh you gain a key. Describe how that happens.
SPEAKER_04Should I use a quest point? My last quest point?
SPEAKER_03Because you give you two keys, right? Yeah. Yeah, this would be a good I do it. I use my last quest point.
SPEAKER_04This is probably I'll remember making this decision later in this quest.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, I'm out of quest points.
SPEAKER_03It's gonna be fun.
SPEAKER_02It's gonna be fine. All right, guys, you got six keys. Describe how you uh stumble upon this ancient horde. I mean mythical.
SPEAKER_03Oh, are we are we spinning it? We're spending it right now. Let's do it! Mythical horde, man. Uh I am so down for this. We're gonna get something dumb like Bobble of the Bubble Bath.
SPEAKER_04Yes, yes, we will.
SPEAKER_03All baths within 100 meters turn into bubble baths. Bubble baths. Bubble bath bubble bath. Bubble bias.
SPEAKER_01Bubble bias.
SPEAKER_03Um I get distracted in an opportune time and I destroy the mythic word entirely.
SPEAKER_02Uh describe how this happens to me.
SPEAKER_03All right, so we uh we uh me getting distracted or the mythic word. The mythic cord. Sorry, go ahead, George. No, no, no. I there's nothing I was gonna do. Go ahead, please. Um, so how did we get out of the last room? We did was that pillar there or was it Vines? Oh no, we we not the pillar, I'm sorry. We just like the tiger fell asleep, we nibbled in this last minute and we we pushed the door cave. So the door's the doorbed. The door goes.
SPEAKER_04All right, so we we burst through the portal.
SPEAKER_03Whatever it whatever it is.
SPEAKER_04Oh, and uh there's like water to our ankles. And at first the room is super dark, we can't see anything, but then like some fungus starts to glow, and as we're sloshing through the water, we see that there's like the glitter of coins and chests, and we realize that we've discovered a mythic horde that's been lost for for decades.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, but the fungus is not actually it's not just glowing, it's resonating with hooch. My presence is what switches it on, like a light. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Exactly.
SPEAKER_02I like it. All right. So here's here's a mythic horde. You guys get five treasure hunting checks that you can split up amongst yourselves. Uh you you get three, I get two, because I always roll more. You get ancient coins and gold coins and one d20 materials.
SPEAKER_03Oh, yeah, maybe I'll roll the mats. I roll d20 materials, I get six materials. I'll take it. You know, that's yeah. Are you putting on your character sheet? Um, no, I mean I that's a good happy with six. We have one gold pouch. Uh and for pre-existing. So now we have two gold pouches, Ben. So we have one plus one gold pouch plus one ancient coins.
SPEAKER_00Uh the ancient coins is amazing. We're rich, man.
SPEAKER_03Yeah. Uh God, I don't let Hooch even know that it exists because I'm gonna spend them immediately. Give me 40 dog water tees. Uh treasure hunting. I have no bonuses at all. I don't think you do either. Nor do I, yeah. It it it's our level is attached to it, right? The level of the place.
SPEAKER_02We'll say it's plus one.
SPEAKER_03Plus one. Okay. And these are and we roll uh D200s? No. The the check is d12. So D2s. So first roll is a 10.
SPEAKER_02So what that means is a magic item and a magnificent item.
SPEAKER_03Oh yeah. Hi. That is a relic and 12.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, we get an XP for that too.
SPEAKER_03Get the relic of the bubble goose.
SPEAKER_02Uh so I got relic, uh two, and you have two more rolls.
SPEAKER_03Five and nine. Nice, nice, nice, nice. Don't you dare say mundane items to be Ben. Five. It's magnificent. One, two, three, four. Magnificent crocs of Mario Batelli. Oh wow. He caught me off guard with that. What's the meta today, guys? It's Italian chefs.
SPEAKER_02This is what I got for you.
SPEAKER_03Oh my goodness. Great googly moogly, Ben. That is all. Uh yeah. I pull off my plague doctor mask and I say, Ooh, this is crazy. Sure is. Uh everything's finally paying off. Everything we we ever you know wanted in life. Here, be powerful now.
SPEAKER_04Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Or have a chance. So uh which ones do you want to do first?
SPEAKER_04I mean, do we do the relic last or first? Yeah. Uh last. Let's start.
SPEAKER_02Start from the bottom. Start from the bottom.
SPEAKER_03Start from the bottom. Magnificent. Now we hit the top.
SPEAKER_02All right. So roll for D400.
SPEAKER_03Okay. Do it, George. I mean, okay, I got. I can't roll for D400s. I just can't do it.
SPEAKER_00I don't know how.
SPEAKER_04I forget how to roll every time.
SPEAKER_0384. 102. 84. Do you want me to read them to you in numeric order, Ben? Yes. Um 84 is the first one.
SPEAKER_02You find a chemistry set.
SPEAKER_04Interesting.
SPEAKER_02102.
A crossfit. Thank you all. Crossbow. CrossFit bow flex. Wow. I start working on the ads. Yeah. Shackles. Eh abdominals. Shackles could be useful. That was the 311 and a 384 is. What? Oh, sorry. What? War pick. A war pick. Those are awesome. All of those things. Those are all really useful. Yeah, this war pick is well weighted. Okay, and I there's gonna be some inventory management tonight.
SPEAKER_04My eraser has now been totally used. Okay.
SPEAKER_03Doot do do do. Oh sorry. Yeah, we gotta roll chemistry set.
SPEAKER_02I mean that's a tool. A two L. So roll two D6.
SPEAKER_03Two D6. Oh no, that's just typing two D6. Three and three. I'm gonna roll another D6 to, or is it just double up on the same thing?
SPEAKER_02Well, your chemistry set and your shackles are sturdy, they can't be broken.
SPEAKER_03Oh sturdy shackles. Oh nice!
SPEAKER_02Yeah, I like that. Um, and then roll. Oh okay. What is a what is a war pick? What would that be classified as?
SPEAKER_03I mean it's uh it's kind of I mean because maybe in the axe-ish? Yeah, it should be an axe. Because there's often like a more like an axe than like a hammer, right? So yeah.
SPEAKER_02I roll the d12. You got that, James? I'll just tap your two. Thanks, dude. Two. It's light once per combat. It can attack twice in a round. Whoa, that's really good. Um and then roll a d8 for the crossbow. Alright. Four. Lucky once per session, re-roll a failed attack. That's wow, that's great for us. These are all really good. All right, let's move on to magic items. Are you writing all this down to me? Yeah, I got them all.
SPEAKER_03Okay.
SPEAKER_00Magic items!
SPEAKER_03Items items.
SPEAKER_02Uh so you will roll three D two hundred.
SPEAKER_03One two eight one six zero.
SPEAKER_02Find a shield. Oh is uh shaped like a beetle carapace. Um one sixty.
SPEAKER_04You find a pencil shaped like a beetle carapace. A pencil. That's crazy. I just put a pencil into my Amazon shopping cart or a box of pencils, like as you said that.
SPEAKER_03Oh yeah.
SPEAKER_04I was like, this is my last pencil, yeah.
SPEAKER_02Um and 181. A bag of marbles. Yeah, that's like so hooch.
SPEAKER_04Oh man, like a pencil, a bag of marbles.
SPEAKER_03It's it's just like so good. These these are these are sweet. It's a DD starter starter kit. You get a bag of marbles, a pencil.
SPEAKER_02Roll lore on all these to figure out what they do. What figure out what they do.
SPEAKER_03Got uh plus two lore. How do you get a lore master? Oh I say my uncle, my great uncle Philo never taught me about these things.
SPEAKER_02Never roll them uh individually. Um the shield. I mean, it's definitely a shield.
SPEAKER_03I actually it's such a bad lore check. I don't think it's a shield. I say I think this is a cape that it's really hard. I immediately restart on my head, like it's because it'll fit. It's the only helmet that'll fit me, so I put it on my head. Uh it's an eight and a six, then for subsequent pencil. All right.
SPEAKER_02Um the pencil looks a little ominous to you. It is it's like has bite marks on it, it's all like gnarled.
SPEAKER_04Oh, geez. Oh my gosh. I hope it's not cursed.
SPEAKER_03A cursed. It's not a number two pencil, it's a number six six six pencil. Doesn't say HB, it says like DK, it's dark.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. It does look cursed. It looks like a you're not sure what it does, but um well, we can pocket that but not use it. And then the bag of marbles is literally called the bag of marbles. And the marbles themselves are are seem magical, and when you like play around with them, they like kind of move on their own a little bit.
SPEAKER_01Okay, very cool.
I'd say let's not lose these marbles huge. No kidding. You know, um, amazing. Uh please, James, if you will roll the relic.
SPEAKER_00Here we go. Oops, I rolled a d12. Yeah.
SPEAKER_03Uh d200? Or is it a d100 or d200? D100.
SPEAKER_00D100. There's 50 relics.
SPEAKER_03Do we? All right, Ben, so it's either a four or a five, and I want you to give us the better one of the two.
SPEAKER_00999.
SPEAKER_02Uh, you find a cowl. A cowl, you say.
SPEAKER_03Yes. Hooch is like, look at me, look at me, I got my cowl on it.
SPEAKER_00I look great, huh? Uh you know what I mean?
SPEAKER_03Little red riding hooch. You want to roll lore on it? Hooch, is your lore at all any good?
SPEAKER_04It is not. I know nothing of the world.
SPEAKER_03Uh six.
SPEAKER_02This is called the cowl of korbishi.
SPEAKER_00Cowl of Korbishi.
SPEAKER_02Um, okay. Well. Uh you know Korbishi was uh a powerful witch that dwelled in the quagmash long ago.
SPEAKER_03Um I think back to our previous campaign, it was it was not Korbishi who we blew up, right? No. Who we blew up.
SPEAKER_04That's awesome.
SPEAKER_02Uh I mean you can uh use these things, test them out. That the the shield is a large shield. Takes a I gave it oh it's three.
SPEAKER_03Okay, I put two. Alright, so three. I put zero for the pencil, zero for the bag of marbles. Um one for the sturdy chemistry set, zero for the shackles. Uh the shackles would be one. Okay, two for the crossbow, two for the war pick. Yeah. And one for the cow.
SPEAKER_00Okay.
SPEAKER_03So we have issues. Alright, let's divvy it up, man. Oh, you know what? The wicked flail is pretty much gone because Seth has that. Oh, that's right. Uh superbulates. I should have been using this whole time. Wizard hat is just closing. I'm gonna dump that. Oh, we have a magnificent halbert. Oh mundane axe I dump. So two, three, four, five, six, oh nine, twelve, fourteen. Uh, hooch has the shield, and hooch has to carry the cow. You should just be put on the cowl, man. I have a hard hat on. I put on the cowl, I turn into a bat. I'll take the shield.
SPEAKER_04I'm slightly fightier.
SPEAKER_03Oh no, I think you should take the five. If the shield I can go first, and it'll give me some extra defense. Yeah. So I'm at 14 out of 14 equipment slots. That's as good.
SPEAKER_02So, Brenda, when you put on the cowl, uh, you get the sense that like you could turn into vapor if you wanted.
SPEAKER_03I say, uh, hey Hooch, look, I'm a fart. Whoa, nice! Uh, this is good. This is very good. Um, I used up the only charge. What was the name of the shield?
SPEAKER_04The beetle shield? I'm sorry?
SPEAKER_03We only know that it's shaped like a beetle carapace. Oh, I see. It's the shield of the scarab, Lord.
SPEAKER_04Beetle shield, you said it was three. Uh what about are you uh are you using the halberd or the warpick?
SPEAKER_03Uh no, they're just packed. You're well more than welcome to the magnificent halbird, the uh warpick light or the lucky crossbow.
SPEAKER_02You don't want to use the crossbow.
SPEAKER_03I will use the yeah. Do you want to use a crossbow, George? No, man, I just shred I shred sweet tunes. I think I think you should have the crossbow because it's got the lucky, just in case. Okay, just in case, yeah.
SPEAKER_04And then um I'll take the war pick because I've got the shield, and I gave away my other pick. And I'll drop. I can't bring myself to get rid of the man catcher just because it's role-playing.
SPEAKER_03It's like I mean, just keep it. Do you have uh you'll be over encumbered?
SPEAKER_04No, I think I think I'm good. Let's see. Okay.
SPEAKER_03Ben, remind me the uh ingredients like witchweed and stuff, weight is 0.5.
SPEAKER_02Um no, it's five. It's zero unless unless you have five of them.
SPEAKER_06Got it. Thank you.
SPEAKER_03Uh man, seeing things like witchweed and thinking of alchemy just makes me want to play Skyrim. It's a great little alchemical system. Oh god, these are all the deaths we're about to face. Oh, jeez. Two fungi, four mushrooms, two shiitakis, one portobello.
SPEAKER_04And the large shield. How many block is a large shield again, Ben?
SPEAKER_03I just have to look it up. It's impossible to know. I don't know. I gotta look it up. Let me consult my Landabeam beta rule book that I can still download at drive-through RPG, but not for much longer.
SPEAKER_02That's classic. Okay. So with a large shield, you will be able to block one d ten dread once per combat.
SPEAKER_04One D ten dread once per combat.
SPEAKER_02Oh yeah. Okay, so you also find Rail Tech music. Excuse me?
SPEAKER_04Rail Tech Music.
SPEAKER_02Uh and fog flower. And Dunamite Chip.
SPEAKER_03You know what's funny is like every time every every campaign we've played, there's been a Dynamite chip. I mean I know it's only been two, but it's one in twelve chance when you're in my region. Fair enough. Karen Stinger. Uh Karen? Like C-A-I-R-N? Or K-A-A-R-N. Like Karen R-N. Yeah. Karen Stinger. Karen Stinger. She's a wrestler and a performer. So uh so we have Grail Tech Nucas, Bogflower, Karen Sting, and uh Dynamite Chip. And so much loot. Witchweed. And witchweed. Another witchweed. Just no, just the one, right? Or is it two witchweeds? I don't know. I had pre-existing witchweed. Oh, got it. So now you have another witchweed.
SPEAKER_02And that is your entire hole.
SPEAKER_03That is a heck of a hole. What happens when you're over encumbered, Ben? Wow. I can carry stuff. I've got plenty of space. Oh. I give you a sturdy chemistry set and sturdy shackles. Alright.
SPEAKER_02So you guys feel great, and uh then you realize that we're still stuck down here. Yeah.
SPEAKER_03Alright, organizing my character she and goeie. Alright, so quest quest 13 or quest 12. Uh escape used to be tiger. Now we need four keys to get a mythic horde. We need four keys or we push it or another mythic horde. No, we actually need five keys because the mythic form is six.
SPEAKER_02You're right. I mean, you can only get one type of horde from a uh I know we're kidding.
SPEAKER_03I'm kidding. I think you should allow people to find dungeons for farming a land of eam dungeon. Some say it's the real end game. I think you I think we would die. But uh are we ready to continue through this uh maze nightmares? Um you you know we want to camp and spend the night. Oh right. You have your cousin fungus on the walls protecting us. Yeah, we could we could spend the night here. Um, is there a way I could learn the the story of the cowl of Korbishi? Or is it I failed the lore check, so I just you know. So I guess I would know it then, I wouldn't be learning it.
SPEAKER_02Um yeah, I mean I can give you some of it.
SPEAKER_03Well, no, I'm just thinking about like I'm trying to use my my ideal is to learn or tell a story. Um I could consequently just tell the story of what I think the caliph Korbishi is. I mean I don't know how to answer that. Um but we should we should uh we should camp for the night.
SPEAKER_02You could uh you could tell a story about something else.
SPEAKER_03I'm gonna tell a story about the Kalakorbishi. I say um Milo Korbishi was a powerful witch that dueled in the quag. I don't, I don't, I don't. George has background access to the world. You know, that's because I downloaded the beta rule book, you know. Uh it's in the first relics list. Uh uh uh hilarious.
SPEAKER_02However, I try. It is it is more powerful than what that says.
SPEAKER_03Oh I become more powerful than you could ever imagine.
SPEAKER_02And you're gonna pop in George You can invest XP into it.
SPEAKER_03Into uh this oh, so I can turn it into an NFT, you're saying.
unknownWow.
SPEAKER_03Cancel the stream. Uh I'm a loose canon, guys. I'm a loose canon. Um no, that that is that is exciting. Uh it reminds me of uh was it Jongle who had the the cow that turned him into a bat?
SPEAKER_02Or was it no no no it was uh started out with Mildred.
You started out with Mildred, yes. We have a rich lore background history of talking about our second edition campaign. Yeah. Um this is cool though. So so let's let's camp for the night and talk. And uh and I'll just I'm just gonna kind of like put on a theater show for Hooch to lift his spirits with the cowl and the plague doctor mask.
SPEAKER_04It's like a rendition of post.
SPEAKER_03Yeah. Um I take the pencil and I'm waving it about and I'm gesturing wildly and telling a tale of uh a lowly plague doctor in the land of uh uh me. I say, whoosh? Have I told you about the plague doctor of the land of me? No, where's the land of me? The land of me is a bizarro world where everything is backwards. White is black, black is white, blue is green. I don't know if that's reversed. But regardless, it is awful. Can you imagine if everything you saw about black was white? You'd be blind.
SPEAKER_04No, I mean it's good because I'm trying to be bizarro.
SPEAKER_03You just kill the story, get distracted in an opportune moment. Double XP. No, um I say uh this is the tale of a lowly plague doctor who stalked from quag to quag, curing the sick using nothing but a pencil. Do you know how he would do it, Hooch?
SPEAKER_02George make a metal check.
SPEAKER_00I'm afraid he's gonna use this. Yes. Wait a minute. I don't know if you should touch that pencil.
SPEAKER_03Nine. Uh plus two, eleven. I wave I feel nothing.
SPEAKER_02Well, you do feel something. You feel you feel like you want to like scratch out everything in a book. Just scratch it all out.
SPEAKER_03Okay. So like the state kind of oh wow.
SPEAKER_02I I it's like this gnawing feeling inside of you that makes you like drop the pencil.
SPEAKER_03Uh the question is, does it interrupt my story? If you failed, maybe it did. Uh oh no no. So so yeah, um, hold on, let me just write that down. Um makes you want to scratch things out in a book. Um note to self, let's throw that pencil at a sorcerer. Yeah, can you imagine he destroys the book?
SPEAKER_00Oh, thank you. Oh no, no. My library! My volumes!
SPEAKER_03I'm saying, do you do you know how he healed them, hooch? I'm like waving the pencil in front of you. I uh they ate it? No, it wasn't even a pencil at all. And I throw the pencil away. I say it was a bag of marbles. They ate the bag of marbles, indeed. The bag of marbles, you put a marble in the mouth, then it would move through the body and cleanse it. It was magical. Don't try this at home, kids. Don't try this at home, please. I pop a marble into Hooch's mouth. I don't do that. That's terrible. I would never do that. I see, but he went from town to town depositing the marbles in people's mouths and healing people. It was magical. They would spit up the marble, of course, after it had cleansed the body, and you'd put them back in the bag and he collected all the Icor from them, and all that ICOR is in this bag of marbles right here. Icar? No, Icor. It's like Igor and Igor.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, that's just the first thing I thought.
SPEAKER_03That's totally what I was going for. Igor, yeah. Anti-corps. Anticor. I say, Hooch, this is a sacred bag of marbles. It's good for healing. I'm not really sure what it does.
SPEAKER_04Um, can I uh I'm gonna like touch the bag like like they're made of gold and and be like, but we can also like we can play with them too, right?
SPEAKER_03I mean maybe. Like you want you wanna play marbles right now? We play marbles, Ben. We divvy them up and start flicking them with our thumbs. Yeah.
SPEAKER_02They they have like great aim.
SPEAKER_03They kind of correct your stalemate, neither of us can win. Like, I'm like, hooch, I didn't know you were this good at marbles.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, man. I I should have done this more often.
SPEAKER_02Like if you flick one off over here, it'll like go in front of the like Brendo, or vice versa.
SPEAKER_04That's amazing.
SPEAKER_03So they're kind of like marbles of perfect aim in a way. Yeah, or something.
SPEAKER_02In a way, you know, you're gonna you you you kind of glean that um you throw these in front of someone, they don't hit their hit the mark.
SPEAKER_04Yeah. That's awesome. Remind us to gamble with these. Indeed.
SPEAKER_00We'll know the marbles of Bog Town. Just you and me. We'll win them all.
SPEAKER_03We'll win them all. Uh I I say, but the story's not over yet. The plague doctor went from town to town, and everywhere he went, he he heard about the evil Lord Neb. Wow. God.
SPEAKER_02George's going out the rails here.
I'm going, I'm going for the XP, man. I'm going for the XP. You can stop this. You tell me I've told you.
SPEAKER_00He's never gonna let go. He's DMing himself. It's my favorite thing in the world. Oh, funny.
SPEAKER_03Um Ben, I just need to know how much longer I need to go before I I have fulfilled the requirement apart. All right, buckle up, kids. It's gonna be a wild one. All right, you were saying the evil neb. Yes, the evil neb had been orchestrating nefarious plots all around the land. You've been pulling the strings of I don't know what you're talking about. You've been pulling the strings of multiple gangs, turning them against each other, using them like a puppet master, to make the world a better place. Some would say this isn't a good thing. Some would say it is, but it's bizarro. It's land of me. So no one knows what's good in him.
SPEAKER_02What is uh what what uh moral are you getting out of this, hooch? Like what are you it is a nonsense?
SPEAKER_04To be fair, Hooch is just he's listening, but he's a million miles away and he's just like rolling the marbles in between his fingers, like thinking about playing marbles and being able to win other people's marbles because these marbles never miss. And he heard something about Neb and the land of me, which he thought maybe was a metaphor for for uh Brendo's uh challenges in Bog Town.
SPEAKER_02But um like Brendo is creating this alternate universe just to cope, like a coping mechanism.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, yeah, yeah. That would make total sense. And then Brendo does this amazing flourish with his cape, and he like does this he's like spins around, like pulls uh pulls uh pulls me back in. And um it's at that point that I that I eat the rest of the roadbread. Yeah, I like it's I get startled by the finale and swallow the roadbread. Well, what do you think, Hooch? Thank you. Amazing song about this. The best I ever heard. You really are a heck of a bard. Maybe I'm not that kind of bard. Maybe I'm not a singing bard. Maybe I should be a storyteller. Yeah. Or get like some puppets in there, that'd be sweet. Hooch takes off his sock and hands it to me. Use this one.
SPEAKER_04It already has eyeballs scribbled on the side. Yes, it does.
SPEAKER_00Sometimes when I get lonely, I talk to myself.
SPEAKER_02Uh that's that's the only way I can make sense of this, Brendo.
SPEAKER_03It's like this is just there's no story. It's just like mindless. It is canon that I do have a socket that I do talk to myself now. Its name is Mr. Sneaker.
SPEAKER_02But it's also canon that Brendo's like trying to make sense of the world through this like child story.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, he is. It's like a really rudimentary story from an adult male bird, adult welcome.
SPEAKER_04For some reason, I just like I just like saw an ostrich in a suit in a time.
SPEAKER_03I've written a children's story for you. I've written the children's story, then I'm going to the bank. Yeah, have to deposit my check. I mean, you know, money were post office.
SPEAKER_02All right. Uh you guys can eat your food, roll, roll your rations, or what have you. And um let's roll it. I think Luc ate the roadbread.
SPEAKER_04I mean, I'll roll it still, but okay. Um I was RPing. Uh roadbread is a D6, right? Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, you ate it.
SPEAKER_04Oh man, I'm sorry, Brendo. I just discussed a hunger.
SPEAKER_03Um but I mean my stomach crumbles, but it eats for two. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. So you have the road bread. The road bread consumes enough food for two people. Yeah. The road red is pregnant.
SPEAKER_04Roadbread is like two alligators snapping at a chicken.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, yeah. That's just slang for roadbread. Yeah. Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Do you have any more food, or is that it?
SPEAKER_03I have two quiche, but I think we may have threw them at animals. Yeah. Yeah. And they spoiled it. They've definitely spoiled. All right. Well, we'll have to we'll have to forage for food in the end. Can we spend the next morning foraging for fungus in this room that may be edible? Does hooch have fungi recognition? I don't.
SPEAKER_02Uh you can forage.
SPEAKER_03We just eat psychedelic mushrooms off the wall. It ruins us. It's a quest. I feel like yeah. I feel like more off the rails. I feel like we kind of have to, like, because we're we're safe here. At least we could spend a little bit of time searching around for food or scraps or whatever.
SPEAKER_04Maybe next time we do camp, we can hunt for plants, or I guess we can't fish in here.
SPEAKER_03In the land of EM, you hunt for plants because the plants are hunting for you. Actually, yeah, maybe we can't run quagmash, it's like watery. Mm-hmm. Yeah, there might be like uh cave puddles and stuff. That's cool. I mean, I like that I like that that still works.
SPEAKER_02The most by the rules, like the way to get food, food is to hunt.
Oh, then yeah, let's can we hunt in here?
SPEAKER_02Hunt and forage, it's like the same thing. So yeah, got it. So you can uh yeah, spend the first part of the day. You can each make a wilderness check, or you could do it together.
SPEAKER_03I'm gonna do we'll do it together. I'm gonna try to assist Hooch by augmenting his check. All right. So oh, I should have done it by doing that.
SPEAKER_02You'd be rolling athletics might or search.
SPEAKER_03Uh athletics might or search, not wilderness. I roll me, right? Like I yeah. Um, all of those are plus zero. So it's ten. Oh, you succeed. You have a plus one. Twelve. Oh, totally worth it. Oh yeah. We find uh instant ramen and cups of noodles.
SPEAKER_04We find a pizza foraging for its own food in the woods.
SPEAKER_03Look, a hidden pizza! There's a lasagna in the tree. Yeah, we've gotten into an Italian kitchen.
SPEAKER_02You get a day's food and uh you get a you can choose a critter component.
SPEAKER_03Ben, can you describe the day's food to us?
SPEAKER_02Well, um maybe you can describe it based on the critter component you choose.
SPEAKER_03That's fair. Um and and Ben, do we pick from the the big list of critter components or is it the regional list?
SPEAKER_02Fragmash. So you got yourself blinking caventier, iCor. Um tortoiseshell, fungal fungal spores, mergotode slime, more bark, mucklin batwing, railworm tallow, salamander mucus, silt serpent skin, skeeter needle, slurpworm teeth, or moppet spider eye.
SPEAKER_03I mean, I I kind of feel like we have to either do the moppet spider eye or the fungal spores, right? Like based on where we are in the I also like the idea of like roasting a skeeter on a fire. Oh, and yeah, you want to? Skeeter needle? Yeah. Because I don't I don't know. I don't know. Come and have some of this grilled skeeter. You just take the skater needle. The needle is inedible, so we eat the rest of the skeeter. Crispy wings.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_03Sacks. Has like sacks on sacks on sacks.
SPEAKER_02Skeeter needle. You can uh you can make a prickly leather armor, you can make a dozing arrow. Ooh, for crossbowly leather bracers. Look at that.
SPEAKER_03Make an arrow for the crossbow, dude. Dozing arrow would be amazing. What does it? We need some white flambe. White flambe.
SPEAKER_06I see clarity like flambo blanca. That's what I mean.
SPEAKER_03Alright, so I add that. Speeder needle. We so we will eat tonight, and we should move on to next. Like we should do some more rolling.
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_03Rollin', rolling. Yeah. George is next. Six. What do it do? And remind me, Ben, I'm sorry. What uh what are we adding to this check again? Search.
SPEAKER_02It is search. Okay, it's plus zero.
unknownGot it.
SPEAKER_02All right, you gain a key, but uh roll in encounter. So d6 and d100.
SPEAKER_01Four and a four and a forty. Full forty.
unknownOkay.
SPEAKER_01Four forty. Four forty.
All right. As you guys uh move on in the dungeon after a nice rest and hunt. We're the kings of the world. You come to a tunnel that diverges into two paths. Um one is dark and dank and wet, covered in cobwebs. The other one is a bit more well lit. It looks like there's light coming in from the surface, maybe somehow.
SPEAKER_03I mean, I know what most people would do. But are we most people who would we are not most people? Alright, so then we're obviously gonna go towards light. Um what are you feeling? What do you feel in your your mushroom legs?
SPEAKER_04I would like to examine explore, maybe, see what's going on, you know?
SPEAKER_03Down to the the light side? Yeah. Yeah, to do it. Okay. Um go down and um seems uh pretty clean. Very tidy, tidy cave, tidy cavern, tidy structure.
SPEAKER_06Um yeah.
SPEAKER_02It looks too clean. Um too clean. You can uh as you're going, you can see that it's like an illusion.
SPEAKER_00Oh jeez.
SPEAKER_04Can we can we back out of here?
SPEAKER_03Oh back out, sorry.
SPEAKER_04Burn it.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, Brenda, what do you think? We should be back out of here. Uh yeah, yeah. This is too good to be true, Seth. And try the Yeah, we'll go around the but it's too late, isn't it?
SPEAKER_02No, it's not. Nothing there's like nothing bad. It's just it looks like there's some sort of magic illusion going on.
SPEAKER_04Can I search for um any uh doorways or openings or anything along the walls that might not be shown by the illusion that like triggers or anything like that? Like more hidden.
SPEAKER_03It's an 11. It's an amazing search check.
SPEAKER_02Uh there are no like secret things, but you find um that you find like a spot where you can see the true tunnel, and it looks like kind of looks like what the other tunnel looked like. It's dark and uh gross, slimy.
SPEAKER_04Um, what do you say? Should we explore it?
SPEAKER_03So you found a side offshoot, right? That's what you're saying, or you found a more like it has the illusion continues, I guess.
SPEAKER_02No, not it's not continuing, it's just you can see the the tunnel for what it is in this one.
SPEAKER_03Oh, so it's actually just like dark and gross.
SPEAKER_04Okay, well, I'll relay that to Brendo and um say maybe we should check out the other side.
SPEAKER_03Uh I'm gonna Ben, can you describe what like is there anything interesting in this like well-lit clean area? No, it's very uninteresting.
SPEAKER_02It just it seems like a uh a veneer over a nasty tunnel.
SPEAKER_03Uh I'm gonna get distracted at an inopportune time, and I'm just gonna go kind of like but there's nothing interesting, is there? Yeah, I don't know. Doesn't seem appropriate. Yeah.
SPEAKER_02I mean basically you could keep going or you could double back and go down the other path.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, I think I'm just gonna keep going. Like that'll be me being distracted in opportune time. And we'll see if if it actually is appropriate. Um, but I just like hooch is peering to the other side of reality and seeing it for what it really is. And I'm like, who's this is like I just walk off. This is really clean. I mean, I how they get I didn't even know this caves could look this clean. It's like someone scrubbed the walls or something.
SPEAKER_00Hey Brenda, where are you going?
SPEAKER_03Um like 10 feet away now. Like, look, look, look at this, look at this. You can see like uh the vacuum marks on the uh the dirt. Vacuum marks. Brendo. Uh I kept proceeding down sooch. What are you doing? Um I was gonna leave and check out the other side.
SPEAKER_04Oh, wait. Um, but with Brendo leaving now, I'm like not sure which way he's going, what's going on?
SPEAKER_02Oh, I kept moving forward, and so I think in order to have uh Brendo use his XP thing, you guys are splitting up.
SPEAKER_04Okay.
SPEAKER_02Hilarious.
SPEAKER_04I'm gonna I like lost track of Brendo because I'm focused on checking out the other side. I don't know where he went.
SPEAKER_00Brando? Is anybody out there?
SPEAKER_03It's me. Pooch.
SPEAKER_02Um now were you thinking about going to the other tunnel? Yes.
SPEAKER_03I was gonna go search the other tunnel, and I thought he was coming with me. All right. Um party wipe is where it happens.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. Pooch, you you go to the other tunnel, and it seems to look like that real spot that you found in the illusion covered tunnel.
SPEAKER_03Uh you're walking through, and there's a spider webs, and uh I like got the beetle shield in front of me and the war pick, and I'm I'm shaking like the cowardly lion, like going in the witch's castle.
Rando, Rando, are you in here?
SPEAKER_02You just hear noise and turn around, and then you keep turning around, and then I turn around, scream, and strike at the air.
SPEAKER_00Yeah!
SPEAKER_02You've you've stabbed me like 40 times.
SPEAKER_00Oh my god.
SPEAKER_02And then you see a spider in the darkness. Ilgas?
SPEAKER_04Um oh gosh, I I'm gonna say, like, oh hey! I didn't see you there. Welcome. Well, thank you. Uh you know, have you seen my pal?
SPEAKER_02No, but you can take a look around and gestures for you to come. Like into the web.
SPEAKER_01Oh yeah, uh I think I'm good.
SPEAKER_04Um is the that must be the way out, then. There's no way out. Oh, so the other way's the way out.
SPEAKER_02You've met your end, mushroom boy. It starts creeping towards you.
SPEAKER_03Is it going out?
SPEAKER_05Oh nice.
SPEAKER_03Yes. Excellent. Yes. Excellent. This is like the hobbit now. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_02See like four four legs going and miss you.
SPEAKER_03I'm just gonna your war pick is glowing blue. That would be not opportunity.
SPEAKER_04I'm gonna like slowly back out, like with the shield and stuff out of this room and go see if I could run back down the hall and find Brundo.
SPEAKER_02All right, make a nimbleness check to see if you uh don't fall over and make a clatter. 10. Nice. Nice. They're really good rules. You skip out of there, you see the the spider kind of shambling behind you. But um, you're quick enough to dash out. And uh if you want to go back down the the other tunnel, Brendo's at the end.
SPEAKER_03Look at pipe.
SPEAKER_00I was looking all over for you. I thought we were gonna go check out the other tunnel.
SPEAKER_03Well, I told you I was going this way. Alright, well, there's an angry spider out there. We should probably find our way out. Was it an inkpot spider? I mean, I didn't get a close enough look, but uh he was trying to trick me into going under his web. Yeah, that sounds that's pretty on brand. I say, uh, well, you know, I dust Hooch's like you know mushroom hat off. I say, uh, you did okay. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to leave you there.
SPEAKER_05What have you been doing?
SPEAKER_02He's in an illusionary hot tub. Yeah.
SPEAKER_03Holding up an illusionary mind type. Yeah, I grab an illusionary towel and I tell off my feathers. I say, I just feel so relaxed. You know? Oh, yeah. No, whoever put this in here. There's a guy giving massages. Not a guy. It's the spider. It's a spider. He's tenderizing my meat. So this is uh this whole place is a trap. We gotta get out of here. I mean, it doesn't seem like a trap, it's a hot tub. It's a trap. I point to the spider who's in the room, just like salivating. Breathing. I say hooch. Is that a spider? Oh, there you are. Yeah. Uh we we bounce. You almost spoiled yourself like a frog. Yeah, it was slowly getting warmer and warmer. Every time I close my eyes, a lid kind of like slides more and more over the top of the hot tub.
SPEAKER_02All right. Uh we got a key out of that, right?
SPEAKER_03Yeah, one key.
SPEAKER_04Okay.
SPEAKER_03All right.
SPEAKER_04That would have been disappointing.
SPEAKER_03Oh, sorry, Ben, did we recover any hit points when we were uh relaxing last night? Yes, you should have. Uh it was D6. This is the yeah, D6 plus level? No, or just D6?
unknownNo. Okay.
SPEAKER_03Four minus one is one. Um, sorry, and then I need to roll stuff. Stuff, yeah.
SPEAKER_02James just rolling.
SPEAKER_00Uh searching seven.
SPEAKER_02Okay. Uh same results. Roll D six and D one hundred.
SPEAKER_04That's a four. Seventy-five.
SPEAKER_03Four hundred and seventy-five rodents.
Full Hondo. I'll take that for news, Avenues, Avenues out.
SPEAKER_02Wow. All right. Um, you do find a key when you go to pick it up, pooch, you like look between your legs like in the opposite direction, and you see as one does a ram gore like going straight at you guys. You can hear its footsteps clopping over. Can you describe the ram gore? I can do you one better, my friend.
SPEAKER_00You can show me a picture with like a thousand words. Okay.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, let's see if we can if we can name a thousand words when we see this picture. Uh, we get out of this conflict. Name a thousand words? Name a thousand words. Just naming words. Say words as fast as we can until we reach a thousand, or no, no, no, no. You like have to write out of you write a word and then you give it a name like Jeff. You write a different word.
SPEAKER_02Is what you're dealing with here.
SPEAKER_01Oh boy, oh boy.
SPEAKER_02Look at those goat eyes.
SPEAKER_03Look at those goat eyes. Look at those goat.
SPEAKER_02It is running full speed ahead at you guys. There, by the way, there's not much room to fly, Brendo. It's uh you're not gonna be able to fly over this thing. Um, because its horns will still clip you.
SPEAKER_03Um, what do you do? I play a song, uh, I narrate her. I'm gonna roll plus inspire to narrate the desired outcome of a specific action or situation.
SPEAKER_02Okay, what are you saying?
SPEAKER_03I say as the Ram Gor advanced, Hooch danced out the way, Brendo flew up and kept the creature at bay. Its uh horns were sharp, its head was strong, and the ram decided to run into nothing rhymes with that.
SPEAKER_00So close. A gong. I mean, it's a gong.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, it was an assist from from Hooch. Yeah, and the Ram decided to run into a gong.
SPEAKER_02Uh yeah, I mean you can do this. Yeah, it's not gonna like solve the problem 100%, but roll it up.
SPEAKER_03I wanted it to like r run into like a wall or something or like r ring its bell. Yeah, like just to like it missed us and it ran into something. Roll it. Roll it. Can we roll it to Emric? Yes, it is. Wow. That'll not. No, I can't possibly make it work. Alright, so next plan.
SPEAKER_02Alright. I mean the plus is that um it did run past hooch, but it's after you. After me, okay.
SPEAKER_04Alright, that's good. That's good.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. And um you guys are in a conflict.
SPEAKER_03I used the troop ability to enlist the help of an NPC bard troop. He really? Uh huh. I mean, it's I feel like that's like so impossible to do in a random dungeon. I just find it, I find it funny. I mean, they could also be lost in the dungeon. Yeah, that's true. Um, uh, I don't know if I want to pull that out yet. I feel like we might be able to get away from this guy.
SPEAKER_04I was gonna I was gonna do something since he ran past me. I was gonna use backstabbery and get in a a big hit on him.
SPEAKER_03Oh, you wanna you wanna fight this guy? I was gonna give it a shot. Yeah, let's do it.
SPEAKER_02All right, are you are you doing anything, Brendo? Or are you gonna do something in combat?
SPEAKER_03Um I'll do something in combat.
SPEAKER_02Alright, you will both roll initiative then.
SPEAKER_00All right, here we go. That's not gonna do it.
SPEAKER_03That'll do it. Nice. I say suck crossbow, goat. And uh I just stand firm in the way of the Ramgor and fire off a bolt from this crossbow that's lucky. It's a 10. Uh minus one from my attack, so it's still a nine, so it still hits. And it is a lucky crossbow, right? So it doesn't really do anything because it didn't miss. Right. Correct Imundo. Look at me. Decisive shot. I said, hey man, nice shot. Good shot. All your damage. E dread. Is it is it still my normal dread? The D4 plus one. Oh no, I'm not using my my instrument. So it actually does less damage. That's sad. But range. No, but my instrument's range too. Oh, that's right. Yeah, yeah. I always I always just imagine L. Yeah, L Cabon. Come on! Uh I do four.
SPEAKER_04Oh look at this guy.
SPEAKER_03Okay. Okay. It was a, you know.
SPEAKER_04That was a hoot.
SPEAKER_03Yeah. And then uh I proceed like in the next instant, I fire, you see the bolt hit. I am about to celebrate, and I just turn into like a puff of feathers as it blows through at me.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, it's going full speed ahead and it bucks you. It uh well, that'll be a hit with a counterattack.
SPEAKER_03Alright. How much damage do you do? Six. Oof.
SPEAKER_04It's a solid.
Okay. Um, I'll counterattack. It's too close for missiles. I have to switch to guns. You just hit it with a crossbow, just like with the butt of the crossbow. Yeah.
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_03I I will still the same dread. Yeah. Exactly. And it won't be uh oh, and it'll be minus one penalty still design. Uh that's not good.
unknownDear.
SPEAKER_03I'm not used to fighting at close range. I'm not a hooch. I'm a turner.
unknownWow.
SPEAKER_03Turner and heart. Um he'll be voiced by Tom Hanks in the animated show. Yeah, I can't get over Colin Hanks, like how similar he is to Tom Hanks. About Chet Hanks. I have so much admiration for Tom Hanks being a supportive father.
SPEAKER_02Hooch. I mean, Brendo, if you swing wildly and knock into Hooch, Hooch, you have a minus one attack. Oh man.
SPEAKER_04Man.
unknownSo
SPEAKER_04How'd you get all the way over here? I'm gonna use backstabbery. Okay.
SPEAKER_03Um, but it'll be minus one, so I gotta roll a d12. Oh no, I gotta attack first.
SPEAKER_04Oh that's still a 12 because I'm plus one.
SPEAKER_02Yes, nice.
SPEAKER_04So that is amazing. Oh man. Um, I roll a d12, please be a 12.
SPEAKER_02Two twelves in a row.
SPEAKER_04Ooh, still does eight. So that is you deal dread times two.
SPEAKER_02So I don't think that's how it works. I think you just roll it and that's your result. Like you you got the 12.
SPEAKER_04Oh, you're right. It says that right there. CX C page XX for uh chart result. So that's max dread times three, that's 18.
SPEAKER_02Solada, that's you uh destroy this creature.
SPEAKER_00Brenda, I got you!
SPEAKER_03I I say uh I I hold up the crossbow and I turn the hooch dramatically and I say looks like meat's back on the menu. Hooch. If it bleeds, we can't kill it. Yeah. Um, we are set for food for many days.
SPEAKER_04Ramgore meat. It's perfect.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, I mean anything else. Can also get some Ramgore horns.
SPEAKER_04Yeah. Look at that. Is that still a thing? I don't remember. I don't have the chart in front of me. Uh Ramgore horns, yeah.
SPEAKER_03Say that ten times fast.
SPEAKER_02Ramgore horns, yeah. Ramgore horns, yeah. Ramgor wasn't very fast. Uh and it wasn't 10, it was just two. Yeah, that was more than enough. All right. Well, that went well.
SPEAKER_03That went incredibly well.
SPEAKER_02Do you guys want to rest here? Because you got a big old carcass of yeah, yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_03It's just cuts to us like making camp, and our mouths are super full of meat, and we're laughing and holding meat. It's good, and then 20 minutes later we're both just snoring. Yeah. It's perfect. Our first successful battle ever. Yeah, I think. And we we it was handled well, like uh, you know, it was handled by only one of us took damage. Yeah, that's fine. I'll take you, but your backstabbery was essential.
SPEAKER_04Yeah. Oh, I only heal one hit point. I can make a note. Backstabber is what's on the character sheet, and backstabbery is what's in the book, and I don't remember which one is the final.
SPEAKER_03I feel like backstabbery is so much better. To edit that on the sheet then. I mean, but that's just one lowly birdman's opinion. One lonely birdman, a Harvey Birdman. A lowly birdman. Um, should we should we camp and call it for the session today, or should we continue? Up to you guys. We're at an hour 30. So I figured like this interaction here. Yeah. Okay. Um, because we wake up an encounter. Oh, oh dare you. Crack a pop. You rolled a Rundy 100 plus two. Uh the plus two was not supposed to be there. Oh, okay, okay.
SPEAKER_02But it's a good encounter.
SPEAKER_03Um a catty pillar. Um my god, this sounds adorable.
SPEAKER_02Shows up. And it drops another, it drops a kill for you. Like that.
SPEAKER_03Oh, it's like a cat that like you know brings a bird because you don't know how to handle it.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, yeah, yeah. Let's see what it brings you.
SPEAKER_03Uh a killer rat. Perfect. Okay, well, the problem is it's still alive. The killer rat? Yeah. Hijing since it's twitching. But but that's just uh I make a lore check and I immediately scientifically know that that's the electrical activity of a killer rat, just making it twitch. It's not really alive. The the battery of a killer rat doesn't discharge for at least three days. So he's explaining that.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. Well, killer rats are probably not good to eat, they're uh pretty heinous creatures.
SPEAKER_03That's true. Yeah. Um I had I had the caterpillar. Yeah. Um hops up on your lap. I own a caterpillar. We should feed it some food. This is the new Claudia.
SPEAKER_02Uh you know, caterpillars are uh fickle creatures, you know what I mean?
SPEAKER_03Yeah, I reached to pet it and then it claws me again. Like the first time it's in my lap, and then like I'm like, oh, okay, I'm gonna stroke it, and then it just immediately claws me. Gives you like a Cheshire cat grin and like saunters into the corner just smiling and its head spins. Yeah, I love caddy pillars. Can you show me a picture of a caddy wumpish? A cadoblipus. It looks like uh God. It was a candy, it was pink lemonade, and like, you know.
SPEAKER_04It screams the 80s.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, I love this.
SPEAKER_02When I was drawing this, all I could think about was Wuzzles. Yeah, it's a deep cut of 80s. Uh 80s lore.
SPEAKER_03Oh yes. Plus two on my 80s lore check. Is available on Amazon.com. Thank you for sponsoring us.
SPEAKER_02Like before I was into He-Man or Ninja Turtles, I was into Wuzzles.
SPEAKER_03Ben was hard into Wuzzles all through the biggest. I had a Wuzzles birthday party when I was very young. What? Okay, so did your brother was your brother on board for this, or was like, do you remember what your brother was doing during the state? Him and his guy was like two, and there's like video.
SPEAKER_04And they okay, they both have matching Wuzzles tattoos today. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_03It's true, all of it. Wow, yeah. They sneak that in right at the end of the day. Or just one one, just one time.
SPEAKER_02Oh, Georgie Joey. Now the Wuzzle can't talk, but it the catechillo seems uh wow. That's how deep Ben is.
SPEAKER_03This is like we're going deep into his mind. He's like huge state right now, man.
SPEAKER_02This is the most excited Ben's ever been. I'm super excited to show off this uh Wuzz-based design here.
SPEAKER_03Um sorry, the caterpillar can't talk, but it does per.
SPEAKER_02But it like loves listening to you guys. It's very generous with its uh affection.
SPEAKER_03It loves listening. So it feeds off of the sound of our voice.
SPEAKER_04George is just expecting it to be some sort of cosmic horror at any time.
SPEAKER_02But it's just a cat. I'm just trying to add some flavor. George is just trying to like boil it down to like some mechanic.
SPEAKER_03What's the mechanic here, Ben? What's it really gonna do to us? It steals your voice. You're mute for the next quest. Figure it out. You guys have to hand gesture to each other. The only way to get a kid uh, what is it, caterpillar to leave you is to be quiet for an entire quest.
SPEAKER_02Okay, that uh might work with a dwarf if you ever encounter a dwarf. Yeah, that might work with a dwarf dwarf.
SPEAKER_03Dwarfs are a plague. Um I love it. So wait, we get to keep it. It's fickle, you said. Yeah, it's not, it's the more we loyal chum through each other.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, yeah. The loyal chum has a caterpillar pet. So it's not gonna be as good as that. But I mean, this is like an NPC that you've you've met.
SPEAKER_03I just want it to be entertaining. What do you want to name it? No, you you you you name it. I think we should name it puzzle, right? Yeah, you mean you met me there already, yeah. Yeah, yeah, it's like the most logical thing to remind Ben every time.
SPEAKER_04Ben and Ben has to live in a world where he's joking.
SPEAKER_03Your caterpillar, Ben.
SPEAKER_05What about Neb?
SPEAKER_03Yeah, wow. Lord Neb. Lord Neb, Lord Neb. No, but Wuzzle is what I was thinking. Yeah, I like Wuzzle.
SPEAKER_02Okay, so we're gonna stop there. Let's do some XPs. XP, XP.
SPEAKER_04All I know is I'm laser focused on getting that. Did you find a relic XP? Yes, because we did y'all. Um did you complete a quest or objective?
SPEAKER_01No.
SPEAKER_02How dare you? Counter a new creature? Yes. Oh, yeah.
SPEAKER_01Man-name, man, name, many, many new creatures. Mr. NPC counter.
SPEAKER_03Um, I mean, we made a friend with the wuzzle. I'll just say that right now.
SPEAKER_02I don't know if it was very significant yet.
SPEAKER_03No, not yet. I mean, it's gonna be. It's gotta be the spider wasn't significant either, though. It felt amazing to use disappearing axe. Yeah, that was uh such a I'm I'm so glad we were split up, honestly, because if we had both met this guy, it would have just been it just felt like the peak of my power.
SPEAKER_04Like I was able to get out of that situation, yeah.
SPEAKER_02Do you solve a problem creatively?
SPEAKER_03Yeah, a couple of those in there.
SPEAKER_02Get into peril or hijinks, yeah. Oh, yeah. Explore a new location or point of interest.
SPEAKER_03No, not it's the same, it's the same location, yeah.
SPEAKER_02Find a relic, yes.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, we did. Excited. I couldn't even say it. He was just like that is four. That's it. I did not know. No, I mean it's it's tough in a random dungeon, yeah. I didn't use my ideals or flaws, but those were gonna be tough for me.
SPEAKER_04This quest.
SPEAKER_03But George did, perhaps. Indeed. I tried really hard. But it petered out halfway with with Lord Neb. After that, it was all downhill.
SPEAKER_02Well, it's Brendo's psychosis of like trying to cope with this horrible life that he's been thrusting at.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, like nothing makes sense to him. Yeah, like it's just like this. We we have to be living in a world that's like, and there has to be some we we we should be the heroes, but like everything keeps turning out horribly for us.
SPEAKER_02So you're gonna have to build on that in the future.
SPEAKER_03Okay, I'm gonna put that underneath my ideal. Build on the cosmic horror that is our lives.
SPEAKER_01That is our lives. Trying to interrogate Harn Twinbeard Quest 90. Right?
SPEAKER_02Yeah, I don't even know what to call this campaign anymore. Well, it's we didn't realize we'd be bogged down in Bag Mesh.
SPEAKER_03Oh, yeah. Uh, I think what I think it's interesting, right? Like, I mean, I feel like it was good to get out of Bog Town. I think it's so hard to do a quest, and it's not for lack of stuff there, right? There's like plenty, but there's like a lot that the mechanics of Lanavem are built on that you know exploring is you know intrinsic.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, and I think you know, just having two players, just being in one location very tough is a little tough.
SPEAKER_04That's not to say that the like the big uh conflict is taking place in Bogtown, though. That doesn't mean you know it's still taking place in Bogtown, but we gotta go all over the world to solve it.
SPEAKER_02Right. What's interesting is you guys have been gone for a while, so we can figure out like what's happening.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, what's happening progressing. The Jirito gang is just taking over the flea bag gang. It's like Back to the Future 2 when you guys get it.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, that's what crowdfund is. So yeah, that's uh what's your total, Brendo? Six.
SPEAKER_03Uh and let me ask you this what is this thing about investing XP into a relic? Okay. Um I'm never gonna level again. It's gonna have really powerful power. No, it's all relic all the time.
SPEAKER_04He just wants to invest all of his XP into relic. Yeah.
SPEAKER_03If this relic can be leveled. Yeah. Oh, yeah, that's true. Can it it is so it is not every relic can be leveled. Darn near all of them, if not all of them, but they all can, I believe.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, some of them more than others, though. I think there's a couple level threes in there.
SPEAKER_03Yeah. Does it increase like charge use and stuff? Like once per session becomes once per combat or something, or like yeah, a lot of them do something like that. Or like uh an entirely new ability that it can do as well. Yeah. Turn yourself into uh mist, uh second level, light that mist on fire exploding again.
SPEAKER_04And uh third level becomes some sort of accelerant that gives you the ability to fly, have no form, and be on fire.
SPEAKER_02So I mean, in in the interest of uh playtesting, George, I'll just let you know what's going on here. Uh once per session you can transform into formless vapor for up to one hour.
SPEAKER_03Now, sorry, Ben, let me stop you there. Should I know these things? Like in in as my character, do I know this, or is it like I just have to figure this out still?
SPEAKER_02Yeah, uh I just mean it. That's why I said um in the interest of playtesting. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Okay. Just letting you know. I mean and while you are vapor, you are minus two defense and plus two sneak, but can't attack or manipulate objects.
SPEAKER_03Just lost my place. I'm so sorry. Uh while you are vapor, you may just like paste this to you. Uh nuts. I appreciate that. That's nuts. This I have an it's a nine-page document only, but I frequently lose my place.
SPEAKER_02Thank you. So I'd love to get your take on uh if that XP thing is interesting to you.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, 100%, man. Like that's that's really good. You could like legit infiltrate and do some stuff. Twice. Interaction. Super powerful. I do it now.
SPEAKER_04It turns into Vaporuby.
SPEAKER_03It just yeah.
SPEAKER_04The relics just relics just push PCs to become campaign villains. Like the power is too much for them to deal with.
SPEAKER_03Well, like, I mean, let's be real. Like, I I would be a campaign villain to begin with if I could. And then I mean, in Ben's eyes, I am the campaign villain because I'm always trying to like undo and undermine. I am Lord Neb.
SPEAKER_00It's who I am now.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, I'm gonna refine the story of Lord Neb and keep revisiting it.
SPEAKER_00I want five paragraphs by Monday.
SPEAKER_03Done. It's done. Um, I will spend. Uh, do you want me to wait a quest to spend on it? Or no, I mean it seems so good. Um, I'm gonna say XP invested pull in five. Uh and I'm gonna reduce my XP by five. So I have one XP. It's good. It's all good. It's all good. It's good.
SPEAKER_02Yes, all good. All right, dudes. Uh good times.
SPEAKER_04Good times indeed, super fun. I will catch you guys next uh Saturday. Um everybody else watching, please. If you want to check out the Land of Eam, go to landaveeme.com.
SPEAKER_03You can download the beta rules for free, but only for a limited time.
SPEAKER_04And um, yeah, if you're looking for a a match or a match match compete.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, contender.
SPEAKER_04No, um, if you're looking for a group or want to GM a group, check out uh our Discord channel. The link will be in the bottom of this video. And um yeah. Yeah. Classic.
SPEAKER_02All right, all right. Okay then catch you guys later. See you later. Okay.