Land of Eem: Actual Play
Join Ben Costa, James Parks, and George Higgins as they play the Land of Eem tabletop roleplaying game, inspired by the series of fantasy books: Dungeoneer Adventures and Rickety Stitch and the Gelatinous Goo.
Ben Costa and James Parks are the creators of Dungeoneer Adventures, Rickety Stitch and the Gelatinous Goo, and the tabletop roleplaying game, Land of Eem. They have been friends since the 2nd grade, and love making stuff together.
Lovers of fantasy, they strive to craft tales that celebrate the adventures of unlikely heroes. Ben and James grew up playing tabletop roleplaying games, creating countless characters and collaborative worlds with our pals, a pastime that paved the way for their creative careers, as authors and illustrators.
Land of Eem is a tabletop roleplaying published in partnership with indie game publisher, Exalted Funeral. and is about adventurers exploring and discovering the remnants of a forgotten better age. Described as The Lord of the Rings meets The Muppets, players portray lore-seeking travelers, fortune-seeking pioneers, and adventure-seeking heroes in a time devoid of them. But for all its post-apocalyptic doom and gloom, Land of Eem is tonally quite lighthearted and droll.
Dungeoneer Adventures is a fun, middle-grade fantasy adventure series from Simon & Schuster, about the only human kid attending the adventure school, Dungeoneer Academy. The books are packed with illustrations and available at Target, Barnes & Noble, and Amazon, or you can ask for them wherever books are sold.
Rickety Stitch and the Gelatinous Goo is a fun YA graphic novel series from Random House, about a skeleton bard and his best friend on an epic quest to discover who he was when he was alive. The books are available through Exalted Funeral or online at Amazon, and you can ask for them wherever books are sold.
For more visit:
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Land of Eem: Actual Play
Land of Eem: Fantasy Actual Play S03E03 | The Mischievous Mr. Trap
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What happens when a dragon-slaying adventure turns into a hilarious debate over nicknames like “Stinkblade”? Join Ben Costa and James Parks—creators of Rickety Stitch and the Gelatinous Goo and Dungeoneer Adventures—along with immortal friend George Higgins, as they navigate the whimsical chaos of the Land of Eem TTRPG, played in the Mucklands Campaign Sandbox Setting and published by Exalted Funeral.
This episode kicks off with the aftermath of a dragon battle and the antics of a mind-controlling warlock named Mr. Trap, leading to a series of quirky and comedic encounters. From humorous curses and mechanical misadventures to a steam-powered plow that promises more chaos than utility, the adventure takes a hilarious and unexpected turn.
Our band of misfits—including the mechanically inclined Riley and aspiring writer Zona—grapples with hot dog water deodorant mechanics, moral dilemmas posed by the enigmatic Unassailable Co., and Shane’s knack for escaping bureaucratic traps. Together, they explore the whimsical inhabitants and eccentric preferences of the Land of Eem, bringing humor and heart to every interaction.
The action escalates in a heart-pounding tabletop RPG session, featuring showdowns with mythical foes like harpies and formidable knights. Along the way, character growth shines through, with Riley’s heroic resilience and Galen’s newfound appreciation for supporting her dreams adding emotional depth to the chaos.
As the episode wraps, the team reflects on the future of their campaign, the possibility of new beginnings, and the potential to share their fantastical adventures with a wider audience. Perfect for fans of Fantasy Actual Play, Collaborative Storytelling RPGs, Rules-Light Indie RPGs, and the ever-creative TTRPG community, this episode blends fantasy, humor, and camaraderie for an unforgettable ride.
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Adventurous Roadside Mechanical Rescue
Speaker 1Hi , hi guys , hey there , hi there over there . Hello , welcome to the AIM stream . Welcome to the AIM stream . Happy Saturday . Oh my gosh , it's .
Speaker 2Saturday hey , ganimates , hey guys , hey , the thumbnail for this live is so cute . Well , thank you . It was done by Sean Kiernan based on some of my art , and my art was much more horrifying than that .
Speaker 1Sean , definitely some of my art , and , uh , my art was much more horrifying than that . Sean definitely made it cute . Sean's got a got away with uh , defying the horror . I've always been fascinated by how many different ways there are to spell the name sean . It's shocking , totally derailed the conversation .
Speaker 2It's a conversation killer right there . It's true , totally derailed the conversation . Hello Princess , funny Bone , welcome . It's a conversation killer right there . It's true , it's true , that's why I'm no fun at parties .
Speaker 1Is this , sean Sean ?
Speaker 2Or Sean . Well , you guys are at Beezleberf . And what happened last time ? Let's go over it . Let's recap you were coming back from the Jagged Hills after your triumphant dragon slaying adventure . Oh , yeah , and it was slow going as you were dragging this dragon , this dragon head , and you got waylaid by some weird warlock guy .
Speaker 1Really don't like that guy . Yeah , that was a perilous encounter .
Speaker 2right yeah , Turned into a quest yeah . To uh abduct you and yep Fetus . Menagerie or something .
Speaker 1Oh yeah , yeah , we I . We thought he wanted to feed us , but I think he was going to just mind control us . You know both and Some evil , some , yes , and that's not going to happen . So he ended up escaping . I did get cursed with a stink .
Speaker 2It's true , galen is cursed with a stink , and the cure didn't take yeah , it was such a profound stink now I have to .
Speaker 1Maybe we can go to char the chicken foot witch in the crack , but that's . That's a whole different ball game I'll take my social checks at a disadvantage , that's fine .
Speaker 2Long way off so what do you want to do ? You're still with a Shane Shandar at Beasle birth . You've traded Um . The guy's name was Mr Trap .
Speaker 1Mr .
Speaker 2Trap . How fitting , how fitting . And you came away from that encounter with his big wagon , but then you traded that to Malva the witch .
Speaker 1to uh , to uh yeah cure your curses yeah , and next time she says when I try to get decursed , I have to pay for it . I won't be able to just barter for it . Nope , which is , I think that's why we were headed to bog town to make some dollars yeah , let's make some quiche Coin .
Speaker 1Make some coins . Yeah Well , I guess we do have some ancient coins and gold coins , so we got that going for us . That's true , we do have some money , and Shane Chandar gave us some information about the Sarpathy which will take us back to the Scalawag Strand .
Speaker 2Either way , Bogtown is our destination .
Speaker 1I think I'm just going to change my name from Thunderblade to Stinkblade and go from there .
Speaker 2Oh , no , it's .
Speaker 1Stinkblade Cover your nose and suddenly become Scottish .
Speaker 2Yeah , it's the only way .
Speaker 1It's the only way that man is filled with haggis got that jingle jangle oh yeah , that's it um so um good , oh no , I was gonna joke . The rest of the campaign will just be managing your multiple personalities . Yeah , that's , that'll be fun kind of fun vocal practice . Yeah , yeah , actually yeah , because he's , he's adopted the , the one-off like fake persona that we tried to use and we're I don't know where we were beasel birth , I think we were a beasel birth when that came up it may have been or we ?
Speaker 2yeah , I don't recall when thunder , thunder , oh , thurf . Oh yeah , you're right . Oh , it was a Thurf . Okay , yeah , we were in Thurf when .
Speaker 1Thunderblade was just random , to try to hide our identity .
Speaker 2Yeah .
Speaker 1Oh yeah , we were trying to sneak in to get stuff . I remember now , yeah , I love it , I love it , it's all good . Classic . You know , what I mean . Did Shane decursed from his bad luck , or is that not part of the deal ? And he's just hosed but he thinks he has excellent luck still , he doesn't believe in it yeah , it's like a barbarian who doesn't believe you can't like can't , like see it can't can't see it , yeah , can't touch it , can't hold it .
Speaker 1Luck doesn't exist . It's not a not a thing , but but fun exists to shane Shander .
Speaker 2We've proven that we can create fun out of thin air . Anyway , you want to get started yeah , let's get right into it .
Speaker 1Let's make a travel check and begin our adventures on the road . Alright , let me roly poly and kick it off . We got a realms check . Bernard is conspicuously absent from my rolls right now . That's a four .
Speaker 2Okay , okay , I like it . Yeah , he does .
Speaker 1Yeah , he likes it .
Speaker 2He loves it . Roll a d100 .
Speaker 1I do it A loves it , roll a d100 . I do it A d100 . I'm cursed with a 90 .
Speaker 290 .
Speaker 1Let's find Mr Traps setting up explosives on the road . Mm-hmm , I've been waiting for you , boys , as you .
Speaker 2Scottish warlocks you exit Beezleberf and Scottish warlocks . You exit Beezleberth and along the road you see this steam powered vehicle . It looks like a plow , maybe .
Speaker 1I look at Pirelli . This is up , pirelli .
Speaker 2Like all of this steam is like blasting out of it and there's a whole crew of shrimp and goblin workers that are just like abandoning it and it's all shaking and jittering .
Speaker 1Gosh , it's like going to blow Riley , she's going to blow . Maybe I can release the pressure valve . Um Tinker , tinker , taylor mechanics Actually I was going to use I for clues See if there's a valve that they're not seeing , that's underneath the chassis , and then slide underneath and release the pressure . Nice .
Speaker 2Cool .
Speaker 1I'm going to try to calm the folks and organize them to move away . Oh no , oh boy , that's a three and we're getting them out of the way early . Yeah , he may . He may watch the videos on demand . We don't know , let's see . Oh man , I don't have a re-roll that can help you on that one . It's all right .
Speaker 2I'm not that kind of night .
Speaker 1Well , what's the plus ? What's the plus ? There is no plus .
Speaker 2Like what is your ? Oh yeah , this is just like out and out failure .
Speaker 1My total is three .
Speaker 2Oh yeah , failure . My total is three . Oh yeah , well , I mean , the plus is that you can maybe try something else . You just did not see , like that didn't exist when you got up close uh , I'm gonna discerning I um a vulnerability in like one of the seal .
Speaker 1That there is no plus , only zool is . That's great . Um , I mean , yeah , I'm gonna just turning I a weakness in one of the the gaskets on top so you can maybe able to pop it off and relieve the pressure .
Speaker 2Okay .
Speaker 1That's an 11 .
Speaker 2That's well done .
Speaker 1I say no . No , riley , on top , on top . Can I scramble up on top of this ? I imagine it's like shuddering machinery . Let's see if I can't take care of this .
Speaker 2Yeah , make an athletics check .
Speaker 1Okay , make a math athletics . Check Wow , I love it .
Speaker 2Yeah , it's all shaking and convulsing , but you managed to keep your footing and just scale it easily . Okay , I'm going to attempt to fix this guy it's like climbing .
Speaker 1A bottle of seltzer , you know , could go off at any minute .
Speaker 2All the workers are shouting get off there , it's gonna blow she can do it .
Speaker 1She can do it uh tinker could this be like a repair check ?
Speaker 2Maybe Mechanics , that's fine .
Speaker 1Do mechanically 10 Okay , nice , you 10 . Okay .
Speaker 2Nice , you twist it off or whatever you're doing , and release a huge gout of steam . It goes straight up into the air . That's how you do it .
Speaker 1I say to the crowd and then turn around and rub my head like wow , that was close .
Speaker 2Um , they all hoot and cheer and and uh , the leader , I guess uh comes up to you and says that was that was incredible . Where'd you learn ? She's a mechanical genius .
Speaker 1Well , I've always been good at tinkering with stuff , but uh , you know I learned a lot from crazy too crazy ernie , the crazy ernie the one and only , oh well , um , the steam-powered plow here .
Speaker 2I mean , it's a prototype . It's not very reliable , as you can see .
Speaker 1Yeah , I mean it looks like you've got this impressive engineering , but it looks like there's some improvements that could be made to it for sure .
Speaker 2How'd you like to work for Unassailable Co ?
Speaker 1Hmm , I'll have to discuss this with my associate . It's like take Galen aside yeah . What do we know about Unassailable Co ? Let me consult the tome . I know Vera the Mathemagician was from them . She's no fan of us . Well , you know .
Speaker 2Yeah .
Speaker 1And I know , remember there is that there is some facility we found In 2915 . That's really all I know about him .
Speaker 2I just want to make clear , because George always says well , you know you guys totally .
Speaker 1Yeah , you sold to her competitor yeah like , offered you first I still think she's got a soft spot for us . That's in character .
Speaker 2I'm fully aware that she probably hates our guts next time we see her , well , well like hey , vera here , what do you ?
Speaker 1call yourself these days Thunderblade . No , it's Stickbomb . I've embraced my stinkiness . I'll say like well what are ? You paying . We're in the market for some jobs . We're headed the market for some jobs .
Speaker 2We're headed down to Scalawag Strand after we go to .
Speaker 1Bogtown . Why'd you say it like a Sarpathy ? I'm just trying to remember what it's called Scalawag Strand .
Speaker 2Well , that's , we got all the work up here in Fleabag County .
Speaker 1Turns into Shrek for no reason . It's perfect . He's killing me today . Don't care . It only took 600 episodes and he suddenly turns into Shrek .
Speaker 2Yeah , yep , I mean , he's got the Shrek body . I do , I got dummy thick thighs .
Speaker 1You have a green head . He's got the Shrek body , I do . I got dummy thick thighs . You have a green head . It's perfect , it is true . Where will ? Who is my Fiona and when will I meet her ?
Speaker 2That's all I want to know . Look , we , uh , we've got to get you set up with , uh , the offices and whatnot . You can't just uh and whatnot you can't .
Speaker 1Just I'm talking about a full-time position . Well , you know it's a tempting offer , but we're sort of on a quest , we're on a mission from God . We're getting the band back together .
Speaker 2Okay , okay , okay . Well , I mean , I can't thank you enough for fixing this plow here for us , but it's gotten awkward .
Speaker 1Now I tell you what should we be looking for work sometime ? Where should we head to go chat with you again ? Do you live around here ?
Speaker 2Well , we got a facility on the other side of the Black Rail .
Speaker 1Black Rail Black Rail Black .
Speaker 2Rail Got it . Is that the one ?
Speaker 1I point on my map . I say is it here ?
Speaker 2Yeah .
Speaker 1Yeah , yeah , we've , oh wait , yeah , yeah , we've , oh wait , yeah , I think we've done a drive-by on that thing .
Speaker 2It's quite an impressive facility . Yeah , you know we've got a lot of resources and we're making huge strides .
Speaker 1I got to ask what's the mission statement of Unassailable Co . What are you guys about ? I mean , we know what Subterranean Pits and Layers is about , and they're a hot mess right now .
Speaker 2But what's Unassailable Co's deal ? Yeah , oh , we're all about faster , better , more secure . That's our deal .
Speaker 1Understandable . That's a really nebulous concept . What are you guys making ?
Speaker 2faster , better , more secure . Just apply it to everything .
Speaker 1Oh , okay , steam engines faster , better , more secure , all right . Well , we've got to work on the security of this one . Yeah , okay , makes sense .
Speaker 2Well , you know , there's always a trial and error .
Speaker 1Yeah , you guys are pushing technology . I see shrimp and goblins working in harmony . That's something you don't see every day .
Speaker 2Yeah , it's appealing to me .
Speaker 1As a crafty PC . I say Riley's the best trim engineer I've ever known . They're totally going to kid you .
Speaker 2Yeah , and you ? I mean , I'm sure you could find some sort of something .
Speaker 1They usually have , you know , tough guys guarding the premises , yeah , I could definitely stand at a gate for the rest of my life .
Speaker 2That'll make some compelling actual play processing people going in and
Inter-Party Banter and Mechanical Rescues
Speaker 2out of the building .
Speaker 1Yeah , next getting with familiar faces .
Speaker 2Yeah , hey , johnny , how you doing . You know , over there , use the key card .
Speaker 1Yeah , it's like actually two shrimp in a coat like staying on each other's shoulders . It's not really the person I'm waving in . Oh , you forgot your id card , did you ?
Speaker 2yeah , make a perception check you fail , you're fired .
Speaker 1Yeah um , we , so we . We say uh , what's your name ? What's your name , buddy ? If we ever head on over , maybe we can use you as a reference to uh , apply for a job uh , my name is fandy so with a P-H or an F .
Speaker 2Let's go with a P-H Nice .
Speaker 1Fandy Fandy .
Speaker 2All right , fandy Fandy chill , okay , chill , fandy chill .
Speaker 1Fandy chill .
Speaker 2Don don chittle .
Speaker 1Don chittle . Hey , fandy , it was good meeting you , meeting you , you guys gonna be okay with this Hulking steaming mess .
Speaker 2Oh yeah , don't worry about it . Turns it on and starts , she's gonna blow .
Speaker 1Switches on .
Speaker 2It's all good .
Speaker 1Yeah , it's as good as new , I'm sure . Sounds all good , just watch out for the Johnson gaskets . The Don Johnson .
Speaker 2Oh yeah , the Johnson gaskets . Yeah , was that the problem ?
Speaker 1Yeah , yeah , could be that or you're just running the thing too hot I like it hot .
Speaker 2Then he uh hops up onto the plow , and everyone else does too , and they start waving the said that the hulk end credit song plays as they drive off like sad piano .
Speaker 1I say , riley , your mechanical genius is is seriously a sight to behold . Well , you know , I feel like I'm learning like crazy , coming into my own . It's definitely how I want to spend my retirement Once we take care of this . So you think you think you could be the next ? Uh , crazy Ernie , we do . Crazy Riley .
Speaker 2Well , I'm not really compelled by trap making per se , but um you know maybe make a business out of this would be a great way to take it easy . Uh , should have . Uh should have gotten some money out of them for that .
Speaker 1We turn around and realize Shane's been standing there the whole time . I say yeah , but but you know , that's what makes our story so good . And what's that magazine again , dungeoneers Magazine , academy Don't don't even it's in your head .
Speaker 2I say no , I'm going to say it on the whole screen .
Speaker 1I love it . I say that's , that's the thing we go around . You know , we don't always think about the money . We , we help people and I think that's what makes our story so compelling . Right , zona , zona is furiously writing . And then they should have asked for money , but they did not .
Speaker 2And then they kissed yeah .
Speaker 1Multiple times because Riley's life was in peril . That didn't happen . Zona , don't write that . Give me that he has it on like that acetate paper where , like you take one sheet away from him but it's already like imprinted below it and he just keeps writing and he gives a yeah what are you gonna do ? Uh , that's all right . And he gives a . What are you ?
Speaker 2gonna do ? What are you gonna do ? Alright , Sona so you guys are only moving one hex a day , right , yeah , let's give another roll .
Speaker 1I can roll . Go for it . That's a six .
Speaker 2And you were minus one . It's a five y'all Five Minus one plus one . Sorry Because you're on a road . It's a six .
Speaker 1My brain .
Speaker 2I think that's an inter-party conflict .
Speaker 1Oh boy , what Dang it . I say Riley , riley , riley , you sure you're not like a trap maker ? I mean you could be just like Crazy Ernie , like Crazy Riley . It's already branded and everything . I'm not Crazy Riley . It's a terrible name , I mean , but it's it's brand recognition . It would . It would have like a connotation . Why do I have to be crazy ? You gotta have a shtick , you gotta be something . I don't know .
Speaker 2I think that's a all right , whatever you say stinky , and then they kissed it goes from inner party to like us against zona .
Speaker 1And then they kissed what did you kiss ? I slammed his foot shut . It goes from inner party to like us against Zona . That's funny . It's like piling on Zona . Yeah , zona , just go plant your roots somewhere and suck up some minerals . Okay , stay out of this . Can't you see , you love each other . Yeah , but just like the sister thing , the sister thing , you know . Shane opens his mouth with his hand up to speak . Shut up , Shane .
Speaker 2All right . I don't want to hear it . I think this group is going to break up before your big story hits .
Speaker 1You're going to break up before your big story hits . Galen sulks off because Riley called him stinky .
Campfire Chatter and Adventure Plans
Speaker 1I start drawing in a little notebook different logos for Crazy Riley's and scratching them out angrily .
Speaker 2Thanks for telling him to walk several paces that way , because , man , his smell is awful . It's true , yeah well , you're not smelling like a rose yourself , Shane .
Speaker 1You could bathe once in a while . I start him off . I wear deodorant Is deodorant canon in Land of Beam , and what is it made from ? It's like congealed hot dog water it's compacted everyone yeah , but like that's the .
Speaker 1The scent of the of the millennium is hot dog water , perfume and deodorant . Like everyone puts some . They put some dog water behind their , like their pulse points , you know , on their wrists . All the fanciest people like the highest class , knack of donkey tube steak water . Rub a bunch of mint on their bodies would make a lot more sense , princess Funnybone . It's the mass-produced , lacking majesty age in the land . The fairytale world is still by SPL .
Speaker 1Wow , they have like silhouette advertisements of like a lady in a tube steak and , like you're , just like tube steak it's the newest fragrance they do like clips the popularity of 80% ground chuck .
Speaker 2Meat breath newest fragrance . Yeah , they do . Like clips , the popularity of 80 ground chuck , wow , meat , breath , meat breath tube gel . Brush your teeth in style .
Speaker 1Do you guys ? Do you guys buy the latest tube steak ? Number five oh man , they really improve the the tube steak scent . I'm really liking head cheese . Number four wow , head cheese . I feel like in land of em , head cheese would be something far more sinister like a monster princess funny bone says , I was gonna say , they just rub a bunch of mint on their bodies yeah , but that would be .
Speaker 2We went way off course yeah , that'd be more pleasant hot dogs as a fragrance . I love it alright , eventually you have to camp settle down and camp for the night outside of Bogtown . You guys aren't far from what are known as the forlorn fields oh , that's right .
Speaker 1I feel like we had a thing , right . Yeah , that's where mr trap went , according to uh young out with pumpkin gang , the witch marva marla marla marva marva marva milbaast .
Speaker 1We have this written down . She also said don't try to slay witches and warlocks Back off . That's true . But yeah , mr Trap hangs around with a punkin gang North of Munch in the forlorn fields , like here and here . Um , I say we drop off this dragon head , we just like hunker down for the night . Uh , maybe actually set watch For once Interesting . I say we drop off this dragon head , we just hunker down for the night . Maybe actually set watch for once Interesting . Yeah , okay , you can always deal with the pumpkin again another time . Yeah , we're right here , though he's a bad dude . He's a bad dude .
Speaker 2He's a bad .
Speaker 1And he's right outside our camp right now .
Speaker 2Yeah , what are you going ?
Speaker 1to do ? The dice never lie , dice never lie . It's because of Shane Shandor's bad luck it is yeah .
Speaker 2Do you want to say anything as you camp ?
Speaker 1I asked Riley , I say wait . So , riley , if you're not really into trap making , what do you want to do in your retirement ? Like what kind of tinkering still want to do in your retirement ? Like what kind of tinkering .
Speaker 2Oh , I still want to , still want to make your jet pack yeah , I'm gonna look over at , like the foldable hang glider thing and be like well you know , I'd like to take my , uh , take my , try my hand at building a flying machine .
Speaker 1I don't know if it's possible , but if this thing exists , then maybe I can go for it . Maybe through steam power you can build a flying machine . It's possible . I would learn a lot at Unassailable Co , but we owe it to our village to save the rest of the Mucklins from the Sarpathy . I wonder what the Unassailable Co's stance is on Sarpathy . Don't know what is their race stance on them . Wow , Exactly .
Speaker 2Look , I didn't want to say anything , but I don't get a good vibe from Unassailable Co .
Speaker 1Oh yeah , Does Shane know him ? Mm-hmm .
Speaker 2Zona .
Speaker 1I'm not going to go five .
Speaker 2Yeah , what kind of rumors have ?
Speaker 1you heard about those guys .
Speaker 2Just that they often deal with nefarious entities .
Speaker 1Felmog for one oh yeah , we know those guys . Shane , how is it that you've been around for so long and you've never allied yourself with one of the companies ? I mean , what's your yeah ? Is it never attracted to you or attractive to you , or what ? I'm ? A lone wolf Is there . I mean , what's your yeah , is it never ?
Speaker 2attracted to you or attractive to you , or what ? I'm ? A lone wolf . That's it . Is that good enough answer ? Look they , they are . They're constantly clamoring after me and , uh , I just don't want all the paperwork .
Speaker 1I mean , don't you think you ?
Speaker 2could have a bureaucracy .
Speaker 1You could have a sweet gig just training their guys . You know like have a , have a training Academy your own .
Speaker 2There's no adventure in that . Ah it's just sitting behind a desk , are you ?
Speaker 1saying you'd rather go out in a blaze of glory .
Speaker 2Exactly , I want to make new discoveries . I don't want to be at the beck and call of some , you know board of investors . I shudder when he says board of investors yeah , riley throws up .
Speaker 1Well , sorry , I'll move away . I just I start backing away from the camp a little bit . I assume that she threw up because it was my smell magistrate uh creech .
Speaker 2And the board of dungeoneers . I mean , they're the worst thing that ever happened to dungeoneering magistrate creech .
Speaker 1He's the one that hangs out in bogtown , right , yep yeah , it sounds like a a whole lot of malarkey .
Speaker 2I don't want to get tied down with Right .
Speaker 1Yep , yeah , it sounds like a whole lot of malarkey I don't want to get tied down with . Yeah , it's understandable . What do you think you're going to do when , the when your adventuring days are done , shane ?
Speaker 2Oh , probably be dead . You know , one of these days , one of these adventures is gonna kill me yeah , next time you won't land on top of the dragon the way she goes the way she goes , I say , uh , shane , did you have a death wish ?
Speaker 1when we went on this last thing , were you dragging us into a hey , maybe I won't survive scenario ? Dragging us , I didn't mean it that way nothing that dark .
Speaker 2I just wanted fun . I wanted to feel the thrill again and I think I think you guys helped me awaken that within me that's good , that's good Shane it was kind of fun , you know , outside of the bone rattling terror .
Speaker 1Yeah , yeah , after a while it was kind of fun , you know , outside of the bone-rattling terror .
Speaker 2Yeah , yeah . After a while that turns into the only .
Speaker 1Thing that can make you feel Really dark turn . Yeah , it's going to be more and more dangerous every time . Yeah , it's wild , oh man .
Speaker 2As you guys are talking , you hear a cackling , is it a ? Familiar cackling . I forget if you've ever encountered this .
Speaker 1Oh , okay , I mean , it's one of the sounds it's bird-like .
Speaker 2I know what it is .
Speaker 1I know what it is . I know what it is too , but my character doesn't , so I'm going to find a way .
Speaker 2You also hear a jingle , jangle and flapping .
Speaker 1I'm getting a lot of mixed signals right now . Uh , I , I pull on my bulwark helmet and pull out my axe and uh stand butt to butt with riley . Um , can I ? Uh , let's see , I don't have like anything to make a trap out of actually do we have a rope . Do you have any rope ? Probably scrolling , scrolling , scrolling . What , uh , do we still have pulmos ? Automatic yoga ? No , I have a .
Speaker 1I have string , I have string . Can I um use the string to create like a little like noose trap to grab something's leg with a tree ? Are we new trees ?
Speaker 2yeah , there are some trees I want to like see .
Speaker 1I see them on a map snare trap with the string awesome um , put some food there I uh , is this mossy terrain ben ? I mean , is there some moss ?
Speaker 2not yet . You'd have to move towards Bogtown .
Speaker 1Oh , I was going to say could I use the mossy blanket to hide Riley ?
Speaker 2Well , you soon find out that you are being watched .
Speaker 1Oh , okay . So it's like watching a successful show when you say we soon , yeah , we soon find out .
Speaker 2Yeah , you see shadows above you , above , us Meanwhile .
Speaker 1I'm like scrambling into a tree Totally yeah yeah , you're actually climbing towards them . We have we've only encountered things that come at us on the ground Like normal creatures , yet Four little heroes sitting around the fire towards them . We've only encountered things that come at us on the ground like normal creatures , yet Four little heroes sitting around the fire . Who is that ? Who is it ? Where are you Show yourself ?
Speaker 2Little did they know . They drew the harpy's eye .
Speaker 1Oh , I thought it was a cackle tris . Gotta be honest .
Speaker 2Any catch ? Glints of jewelry all on these harpies around their talons . They have large talons . Here's a sneak peek at how our layout's coming along .
Speaker 1Zoom in on that . Kushta Do the harpies have large talons ?
Speaker 2I don't understand what you're saying that is a harpy .
Speaker 1That's a harpy , but an art by the great Alex Ahad . Yeah , that's really awesome art , awesome art .
Speaker 2Alex Ahad , the creator of Skullgirls and Indivisible , went to high school with the guy yeah . A lot of creativity coming out of some of our first comics actually partnered with him .
Speaker 1You were hunting . What creature again ?
Speaker 2Oh , shadu Hunter , Shadu Hunter . That'll be worth $1 if you can find a copy .
Speaker 1I'm going to find a copy one day . I'm going to make you guys sign it and then I'm going to sell it to someone as the you guys sign it and then I'm gonna sell it someone . I uh , as the harpies cackle above our heads , I , I whistle like yondu from what's that movie ? Guardians of the galaxy . And uh , claudia shows up with a golden arrow . Because that's , I'm gonna treat it exactly like his arrow and claudia is just going to be the mechanism .
Speaker 2She has the properties now . You're in a conflict , but do you want to parlay ?
Speaker 1Yeah .
Speaker 2We have a shot to parlay with them .
Speaker 1Yeah , are you going to parlay a lie with them ? Yeah , um , we're gonna , probably . I , I will be . I am at disadvantage for all my social checks . It's just you , you are nothing . Uh , I was gonna say maybe you can offer them a piece of the dragon's head , like a scale or something . Yeah , I was actually gonna invite the harpy to like come down and join us for dinner . Um , you're like , hey , you know , you startled us up there . Like try to act , not afraid at all , come down and join us by the fire yeah why don't you come down ?
Speaker 1you can chat with us . You know , by the fire there's , stay a while and listen .
Speaker 2We know you know there's Stay a while and listen .
Speaker 1We know .
Speaker 2You know there's pumpkin gang and a warlock in the forlorn field , so you know we're we're huddling up down here and you know you're welcome to join us . Make a charm check at minus two .
Speaker 1So I feel like that could really be misconstrued . Yeah , we're inviting her to eat us , basically , yeah , she's like , oh , they're going to let me eat them by the fire . This is very kind . I've never had quarries so easy . Well , I rolled a zero Yep , so , uh , I'm very glad I didn't use any bonus on you . Yeah , it's a solid zero Yep . So , uh , this is not . I'm very glad I didn't use any bonus on you .
Speaker 2This is not going well .
Speaker 1Yeah , it's a solid zero , Did you hear that ?
Speaker 2girls . Oh no , there's more than one . I didn't even realize there was multiple of them .
Speaker 1Ladies , ladies , ladies .
Speaker 2Easy dinner , and they all ascend down upon you . Uh , george , ladies , easy dinner and they all ascend down upon you . George , do you ?
Speaker 1want to make an action before yeah , can I do two things ? You can tell me yes or no . I was going to say I want to jump on my tortoise .
Speaker 2Is that going to be my action ? I think so . Okay , I jump on my tortoise .
Speaker 1Is that going to be my action ? I think so . Okay , I jump on my tortoise . I gotta get that plus one block , because I don't have a shield anymore . Oh , I should have had Riley start tinkering my shield , might be reparable , irreparable ?
Speaker 2Okay , possibly .
Fierce Battle Against Harpies
Speaker 1Wow , do harpies always sound like Gruntilda from Banjo-Kazooie ?
Speaker 2I think yes .
Speaker 1I think that's yes . It is like exactly what they sound .
Speaker 2Like all witches and harpies sound like that when they're coming out of Limehouse .
Speaker 1Yeah , it's hard not to go there because you just don't get it enough these days .
Speaker 2Okay , there are four harpies .
Speaker 1Four harpies birders and harpies .
Speaker 2Wow , they descend upon you . One of them attacks Galen . They descend upon you .
Speaker 1One of them attacks Galen Galen . It immediately begins retching .
Speaker 2In fact , none of them want to eat me because of my smell Got a hitch here in roll 20 .
Speaker 1Wow , got a little hitch in to giddy up . Rolling the dice Rolling , rolling , rolling . Keep them doggies rolling , roar or hide .
Speaker 2Yeah , I don't see your rolls .
Speaker 1Are you guys able to roll ? Yep ? Oh , thank God , I got rid of that one . There you go , there you go .
Speaker 2It came through as a three plus one equals four for you , okay , and you have a plus one defense , so that is a miss With a counter , alexander . Campbell .
Speaker 1Might have a goal 20 . I'll swear , dad it's back . All right elsewhere , dad it's back .
Speaker 2All right , two attacks against you have missed Amazing . And then that is an 11 against Riley .
Speaker 1Why am I not seeing any of your rolls ?
Speaker 2I'm rolling .
Speaker 1Oh , okay , are you rolling analog ?
Speaker 2No , I'm just rolling on Google oh .
Speaker 1I miss rolling .
Speaker 2Yeah , that's actually a 12 for the critical hit against .
Speaker 1Riley , it's custom . I have to be critically hit . I've got to be critically hit immediately .
Speaker 2Please don't knock me down . Oh sorry , I don't know what I was waiting for . We were . Yeah , you're going to roll low so that I stand ? Oh sorry , I don't know what I was waiting for .
Speaker 1We were yeah , yeah , you're gonna roll low so that I stand yes remain courageous . Don't forget about your temporary HPs , oh um what 3d6 these things could eviscerate us in the hit Like they can just disembowel us with their damage .
Speaker 2Yeah , what you see is the Harpy . Just grab Riley , go up into the air and drop her to the ground .
Speaker 1Oh , they're like Eagles cracking open turtle shells . Yes , terrible creatures .
Speaker 2That is 20 .
Speaker 1I am down , riley Stout Heart . Oh yeah , I can Stout Heart and you have plus five hit points temporary . I know that's more than 20 , but hopefully you'll be able to Stout Heart some of it Is . Stout Heart a D8 ? I'm sorry I don't have it written down . After the update Astute Heart .
Speaker 2It should be on the sheet .
Speaker 1Oh yeah , Because Stout Heart is a gnome ability and I took well-rounded actually .
Speaker 2It's take half dread .
Speaker 1Oh , why did I think it was a D8 ? I do it . I am standing Nice .
Speaker 2No , no , no , no , no , no . George is a .
Speaker 1D8 , I think oh , I see I have half dread because I haven't updated my sheet . I'm sorry .
Speaker 2So how do you have 10 left ?
Speaker 1Temporary . You probably have 9 left . I had 19 total and took 20 .
Speaker 2I take half , so minus 10 would be 9 .
Speaker 19 out of 14 . Look at that GM . We can't get anything by him .
Speaker 2He's on the lookout hey , you know math it was a good try , alright one attacks Shane Shander , he's got bad luck , let's be real , all right , and then one attacks Shane Shanda .
Speaker 1He's got bad luck .
Speaker 2Let's be real , miss Shanda , miss Shanda . So Harpies have swoop attack . They can't be countered .
Speaker 1Miss Shanda Can't be countered .
Speaker 2Deal six dread to Shane Shandar .
Speaker 1A lot of heavy duty rolls here .
Speaker 2And it's now your turn .
Speaker 1Roll an ish . Yep , nice , heck , yeah , ooh , I wish I hadn't wasted that 12 . That's not really a waste , though . If I go first , ben , actually , james , go for it . I'm gonna Attack twice with a Nimbus Hammer . I'm gonna like bam , bam , nice , twice as nice , for half the price . I hit once .
Speaker 2Okay , Six dread yes .
Speaker 1Nice , I whistle for Claudia .
Speaker 2No , go ahead you hit one of these with the Nimbus Hammer and it shrieks and just falls crumpled to the ground like what .
Speaker 1They're glass cannons , boys , maybe it's the clouds of the Nimbus Hammer . We all spend the entire round just trying to figure it out . I like , I like hold it up and like , look at it , like , oh my goodness , yeah , power of gray skull . Um , I love it . Uh , I whistle for claudia to use the golden arrow and , uh , she fires at Harpy , she criticals . Okay , that's d8 times 2 , so yes , 16 yeah , automatically hits . Oh , I guess I didn't have to roll . Automatically hits and applies maximum dread , non-critical , oh I don't know , it can't critical .
Speaker 1Yeah , that's fine .
Speaker 2So she takes 8 damage , there's a poof of feathers and that harpy also falls .
Speaker 1What's it called ? Claudia runs off in the distance to retrieve the arrow . Hey , swipsush , welcome , welcome .
Speaker 2Welcome .
Speaker 1Swipsushi Back to 12s indeed .
Speaker 2Let's see how long it lasts Eye attack , that's an 11 .
Speaker 1Wow , that's's okay , we're rolling well . Um , I'm just genuinely surprised . My axe uh whistles through the air and uh , all that you see is the jewelry from around the harpy's neck , just like breaking up and glistening the moonlight as the Harpy shrieks . Not even a real damage . It's going to be 16 .
Speaker 2Whoa All right , this one is actually still alive .
Speaker 1Still kicking . I maintain that the jewelry flew off her neck . This is why you gotta wait on that . Nope , nope , nope , nope , galen immediately starts celebrating Because we unexpectedly defeated two of them . Yeah , galen celebrates and doesn't realize she's behind her .
Speaker 2We got goons over there , we got goongoth , and you want to roll for Shane Shandar .
Speaker 1Go for it , riley , I will roll for Mr Shandar . Mr Matthews , that won't do it . Bad luck , shane's got bad luck . Look you , that's Matthews , that won't do it . Bad luck , shane's got bad luck . Look you , take the 12s . Yeah , I'll take the 12s all day . I'll handle the 4s .
Speaker 2May the 4s be with you All . Right , george , that is a miss .
Speaker 1I stand tall , standing tall . Oh , that was definitely on Shane , not Riley , right it ? Was on you just assume yeah , come on , that's also 20 , that's also 20 , that's also 20 . So I have 23 plus 5 . So I have 8 out of 23 left . Let me stout , heart it whatever it is , let me shrug it off . I'm a real vitality . So you said I take D8 dread instead no , it's like a shield .
Speaker 2Oh yeah , sorry .
Speaker 1So you said I take D8 dread instead . No , it's like a shield . Oh yeah , sorry , I mean it removes D8 dread . Let me just make sure I actually make a vitality check . I do . I am vital , so I reduce it by D8 . Break it ? It's unlikely , but amazing . So I have . Yeah , so I take 12 damage , so 16 . Nice , I say you'll never , take me alive .
Speaker 2And the last one . Stinkblade hungers for you , shandar . Oops , I don't know why I did that , whoa .
Speaker 1Look at that D20 system Shane Shandar bad luck . If we are responsible for the death of Shane Shandar , I will not be happy . No well , we're going to roll into town and be like we did it . Just the two of us , we killed the dragon , okay . Shandar um , yeah , yeah , he falls defeated , picked up and dropped I find it hard to believe that she was able to pick up that wad of muscle , but I I stare , as it happens , and I am in disbelief .
Speaker 2Really large talons . Harpies have large talons Wow .
Speaker 1They have what ? Let me see if there's a Dungeoneer ability , because I feel like there is . Yeah , he has health insurance . I think he has health insurance .
Speaker 2He does , but let's jump to the next round .
Speaker 1Yeah , keep on working while I look up health insurance Terribly . Congratulations , you can now afford health insurance Once per session . If you are defeated , roll plus vitality .
Speaker 2You want me to roll that real quick , real quick .
Speaker 1Then yeah , he's got plus two he's got plus two , six , so four to six . You are defeated .
Speaker 2But do not suffer a penalty for being wounded I feel like you're looking at a really old PDF .
Speaker 1I must be . This is the rule book version one , dash two .
Speaker 2Oh , you know what I did download it last time ? I think it's always happens . It's always happening .
Speaker 1George is working off of like the , the proto beta .
Speaker 2Yeah , the most like you probably even have . The numbers are off Like four to six is not a thing , it's three to five . You're four to is not a thing . It's 3 to 5 . Your 4 is 6 .
Speaker 1The PC rejects the GM . Okay , here we go . I have version 1-4 now . I forgot I had downloaded that Health insurance . What Health insurance you might find it before I've been .
Speaker 2Yeah , I did . Okay , you might find it before I've been . Yeah , okay , wait , why is it not searchable ? This is wrong , all of it , wow wow it's still wrong in the edited ones is it all right , I feel .
Speaker 1I feel this is why we playtest Guys welcome to the live playtest for Land of E . Well , that's kind of what this is . We're playtesting .
Speaker 2It just has the old number spreads . You know like 1 to 3 , 4 to 6 , 7 to 9 .
Speaker 1So , yeah , you rolled a 6 , six I think that would be . You have one courage , amazing . Shane shandar has his back broken on a rock , like batman gets his bat , or back broken by bane , but he rolls off of it and pushes himself up and stands tall , but he's like visibly pained , on the precipice of keeling over Harpy soaring through the air . I yell at him .
Speaker 2I broke the Shandar .
Speaker 1I broke the Shandar . I say Shane , he's like I'm alright .
Speaker 2I'm alright , I'm gonna need some ibup . All right , I'm all right , I'm going to need some ibuprofen in the morning . Is ibuprofen canon in line of human charge ? It is now .
Speaker 1It is now he used a creative ability to make it true . Yeah , I spent my entire turn , so that all healing is now based around non-steroidal anti-inflammatory drugs . All right . Roll initiative uh boyos I just did and it was a horrible roll . Oh , I mean , if the gm didn't see it , it didn't happen , right ? So really strong healing potion I have a courage but crud I do have a courage potion .
Speaker 1Yeah , um , I rolled a four . I'm going second as well . I think I'm kind of rattled when I saw Shane Like I spent most of my turn watching Shane fall because it was like an interminably long fall and that is a hit against you . But with a counter right .
Speaker 2They can't be countered because they just swoop out of the way .
Speaker 1I hate them more , but my tortoise affords me one block , so I'm at a 15 out of 23 . Yep , awesome .
Speaker 2Another attack against you is a successful hit .
Speaker 1Okay , my tortoise affords me one block . Still , I love it . I wish this is how it always worked .
Speaker 2And then Shandar is hit , he's attacked .
Speaker 1Yeah , no , he's hit yeah .
Speaker 2And now he ? Now he's falling .
Speaker 1Yeah , it's more like a flurry of swoops . As the harpy keeps swooping at him and slowly wears him down , he takes a knee before gently crumpling and rolling forward Shander , it's like watching him in slow motion .
Speaker 2Yeah .
Speaker 1No , I'm like looking over while I'm holding up my axe and trying to fend off a harpy . It's good , I like it , I uh .
Speaker 2Um , let's roll to see if Shane Shandar dies in this version of Land of Eam .
Speaker 1In this timeline .
Speaker 2Vitality check .
Speaker 1Ben yeah , shane Shandar might die .
Speaker 2Epic Hero Five .
Speaker 1Can we use quest points on Shane Shandar ? I know that's a character ability for another class . I can give him a quest point . We might want to do that . We're just on the cusp , I think . Right , he needed to roll a six . Yeah , I can give him a quest point . I'm going to do it . Don't die on me , Shane .
Speaker 2Come on .
Speaker 1For like uh-oh , like , oh , seven , I do it okay .
Speaker 2For a couple like beats he doesn't say that you don't see him , though , riley . Oh , that's fine , it's worth it , it's worth it .
Speaker 1Like we don't see shane breathing and then after riley like says that you just see this . I'm like Come on , Shane , stay with me .
Epic Battle Against Harpies
Speaker 2Right , Galen , you're facing down two harpies .
Speaker 1Galen charges them and flies into a blood rage and does a sweeping strike and sees if he can hit more than one , right ? Oh no , I can't help you . I know it's fine . Um , yeah , no , uh , fb , my tortoise uh gets a leg stuck in the mud and as I'm swinging I go flying off her back . I think the plus would be let's see , wait , no , no , no , this is just a no , it's a three , so it is a failure with a plus , right , ben ?
Speaker 2Mm , hmm .
Speaker 1What do you think the plus would be ? Maybe I Kick up mud and make it harder for the harpies , or yeah , I'll say you know , you know yeah , it's never a good sign they were trying to um avoid your attacks .
Speaker 2That kind of ran into each other and okay I'll take away one , one attack , because one of them is attacking you twice per round , right , so they'll only have one attack yeah , I uh get a mouthful of mud and spend the rest of my turn spitting it out yeah , mud feathers . And then like um , I think that would be the next round yeah , I think that's it .
Speaker 1Uh , let's roll to see how many you want to roll a d4 , james , and see how many rounds shandar is out for , or is d6 four , four , okay , four rounds . Unfortunately , it's all good . Unfortunately , I'm like standing over his unconscious body with a nimbus hammer Ha .
Speaker 2Ha Roll initiative James .
Speaker 1All right , here we go . Come on 12 . I'll take it . Close enough yeah , I'll take this .
Speaker 2There are two harpies . One of them is tougher but it's taken a lot of damage .
Speaker 1The other is not taking anything . I'm going to mighty blow the harpy that I assume that's the one that attacks twice . Correct , Mighty wind Back to back ones . No , but it's a three oh .
Speaker 2And on mighty blow .
Speaker 1It's a three , oh , I'm , and on mighty blow , I know you should be , because this is a hit , but the counter , but the adversary counterattacks , because I use the mighty blow ability , all right , so I still hit . Hopefully I take it out . Come on , I don't . That's a two . God bless it . I'm going to attack it , oh no , but it gets to counterattack me . Yeah .
Speaker 2Another hit with counterattack . Well yeah , it's not swoop attacking .
Speaker 1Yeah , so I can . Oh yeah , you want to do your damage .
Speaker 1Okay , I take three damage , wow , I , oh , yeah , you want to do your damage . Okay , three damage , um , wow , I just I can't . I can't . That's . There's just nothing good . There's nothing good about that . It's getting to you . Yeah , I can smell myself . And then I started getting self-conscious . That me , god , I smell terrible . It's all I can think about . I can't even focus . I'm not myself . I took three so-conscious at me . God , I smell terrible . It's all I can think about . I can't even focus . I'm not myself . I took three summit ten out of 23 . I whiff hard , but since it's not a one or a two , and I know it's not a mighty blow anymore , but maybe I push the harpy as it avoids me into a better spot for Riley .
Speaker 2Sure Riley , you get plus one .
Speaker 1I'm going to attack Riley now . Should I attack it twice , george , or should I try to hit ? One I think you should do a Xena yell and then do whatever your heart desires . Alright , I'm going to go for this one . I'll attack twice . One of these is plus one , it's okay . I mean , even if you had attacked once , it wouldn't have . Let's call the total three and three , so it's not a total disaster . All right . All right . Maybe we reduce the number of attacks they get .
Speaker 2I don't know so furiously swiping these things yeah it's hard to fight skybound enemies the other harpy will have um one attack at minus one against Galen .
Speaker 1That is still a critical hit . Yes , still a critical hit . Oh no , all right , riley , it's all you . Oh , I can use a quest . Punta Fine Might not matter , it'll put me to zero , exactly . Wait , I could pep talk you one more . I could pep talk you and give you advantage on the roll before you roll . No , I don't think it . Well , let me ask you this , ben , it doesn't matter if I'm zero or if I'm negative 10 . It's just like same functional , right ? Yeah ?
Speaker 1I can give you advantage on the , on the vitality , on the vitality . Okay , I appreciate that . Um , everything goes to inky blackness and the last thing I hear is riley yelling at me . I give you advantage . That's what I yell . I give you advantage . Advantage , sir . I critically vitality . I'm up , I had to roll it .
Speaker 2Oh yeah .
Speaker 1I accepted your critical vitality there was a chance I could fail , but it didn't fail . No it's not possible .
Speaker 2Alright , this has gone off the rails .
Speaker 1Huh , oh , yeah , oh totally this is a tough fight , yeah , so I feel like it was like so close , just being really easy , and yeah , it just went . It went south so fast .
Speaker 2The other one has one attack against Riley . That's a hit with a counterattack .
Speaker 1This one's on the ground . This one's on the ground right , or is it flying ?
Speaker 2Flying and Dust 2 dread to you .
Speaker 1And now it is your turn .
Speaker 2I can't counter it Initiative . I think it's just your turn .
Speaker 1I attacked ? Oh yeah , I guess it is , did you ?
Speaker 2No , no , we win . But , now there's oh , yeah , you missed twice . Yeah , I missed twice .
Speaker 1Oh , that's right . So , Anish , you missed twice . Yeah , I missed twice . Oh , that's right so .
Speaker 2Nish Next round how long are you out for ? Two rounds , two rounds .
Speaker 1Starting now correct . All right Back next round .
Speaker 2Riley , there's a world in which you could just down them both .
Speaker 1I'm going to attack once . I'm going to attack one of them each once . Oh , oh yeah . Ah , I love it . Alright , I'm rolling two damages , oh yes .
Speaker 2Nice , you do it . It's kind of like when you .
Speaker 1In a battle . I'm just like screaming with this cloud hammer , Just like Zona is filled with terror looking at me because I've lost my mind . He reflexively like , bears his fangs at you .
Speaker 2Awesome bears his fangs at you like awesome .
Speaker 1Um the harpies uh gather themselves and uh fly away like squawking I'm gonna like throw rocks at them as they fly away like never come back . Wait , they're not . They're not just dead , ben defeated .
Speaker 2I mean , that's right , nothing dies I mean , no , I can die , but it can die . Never come back , wait they're not just dead , ben Defeated . I mean that's right , nothing dies ? No , it can die , it can die . I like the idea of shooing them all away More cinematic , instead of having four dead harpy bodies .
Speaker 1We have different definitions of cinematic .
Speaker 2Oh wow , George just fixes himself His breast heaving over the corpses , the river's running with blood .
Speaker 1Are we not playing Conan ? Is that not what you're playing ? Just mountains of funny parts . Tell you what . Tell you what ? Tell you what ?
Dragon Head Escort Through Bogtown
Speaker 1For my satisfaction , galen gets to his feet and like clutches in the air , like the broken jewelry of a harpy , as they fly away yeah , I was actually gonna say you guys find a , a silver bracelet none of of us help Shane up .
Speaker 1We're just looking at loot . No , we gently roll Shane onto his back and lift him onto my tortoise . It's almost like the scene in Spider-Man where they're all carrying him on their back and , careful , he's zero . Let's put him on a tortoise's back , nurse him back to health .
Speaker 2Yeah .
Speaker 1Get a little sip of hot water from a bowl , yeah , everything . Everything is hot dog water .
Speaker 2A little bit of protein yeah . I can feel my courage returning . I can feel my courage , my courage returning , my courage returning .
Speaker 1So salty .
Speaker 2I can feel my courage returning .
Speaker 1It's like it's brightening my insides .
Speaker 2I love it . Yeah , I guess Shane Shander will need to rest up uh you all will none of ?
Speaker 1yeah , we all will . I I'm so curious about what kind of story shane's gonna tell about how he got his back broken , like I want to see if he actually says it was like I got dropped by harpy , or if he tries to say you know , it was the dragon , dragon did it and the harpies just exacerbated truth is all in this book get it , that's that's true zona . That's true , Zona . That's true . You are the keeper of truth , except for the parts where we kiss you big factory liar .
Speaker 2What are you ?
Speaker 1going to do At the campfire .
Speaker 2I'm going to be going through the book Zone .
Speaker 1Redlining it . Yeah , just like furiously editing it . Yeah , make myself taller , just like furiously editing it . Yeah , make myself taller . Where is going to be , like every hero in the mcu and dcu where they wear like boots that have wedges built into them ? You're like wildly impractical . Just to make them taller ? Oh yeah , have you guys noticed that ?
Speaker 2in the stories I'm six , six .
Speaker 1Yeah , yeah , exactly you have like platform In the stories . I'm 6'6" .
Speaker 2Yeah , exactly , you have platform shoes on the entire time . Probably want to eat . No Eat to gain courage that you've lost .
Speaker 1Yeah , I will cook Eat . To gain courage , I'll cook with some salty meats .
Speaker 2Salty , salty meats .
Speaker 1I say I got some chicken for you right here and I hold up a harpy Ooh 10 courage .
Speaker 2Nice .
Speaker 1I can feel it we all sip from the dog water . Oh yeah , so when I come back , ben remind me it's a D6 plus my level in health .
Speaker 2Mm-hmm .
Speaker 1Okay .
Speaker 2You rolled vitality .
Speaker 1I did and I got a 12 when Riley gave me advantage . There's no lasting scars . I already have enough .
Speaker 2You're in the high heaven .
Speaker 1Yeah , I got distinct breath . I'm going to get d6 plus 8 hit points back . All right , so 9 hit points plus that 10 , I'm at 19 out of 23 . Love it Like a new man , like a new Galen , like a new Galen , all right , let me see . Oh , shane , does he get ? What level is shane ? Ah , it's fine , he's alive .
Speaker 2Yeah it's incalculable . I think he was shane shane's using the gestalt system .
Speaker 1Yeah , that was close with shane . That would have been really rough . It would have been a bad way for him to go out . I wonder if this is gonna cause shane to rethink how he wants to go out . He's like all right boys . I think I'm gonna go work for us what's crazy is how we were just talking about that . Yeah , you can't make this stuff up , it writes itself shane has been pretty ineffective in combat .
Speaker 2He's just like absorbed a lot of blows . He did , yeah , big blows , but yeah , I mean I think responsible for the death of Shane Shandar .
Speaker 1I mean , that's rough . Yeah , I think that's his bad luck . I'm just going to say it like and , and I think he may have had bad luck even before he got cursed . It's true .
Speaker 2It's kind of my fault because I like did the worst part yeah oh man uh , yeah , you gotta get the bog town y'all .
Speaker 1I love it one more travel check .
Speaker 2once you , uh , the next day comes , make it into bog town dragging this giant head that slowed you down and attracted horrible attention 10 for a travel check All right , I'll take it , I'll take it . You roll into town , you could search for resource if you wanted .
Speaker 1Galen , I do , I'm just going to herbs . I'm going to find some oibs or some herbs . If you're in Britain , it's also another 10 .
Speaker 2You stroll into Bogtown and it's it's a bustling day and you definitely draw attention as you drag this dragon head through the streets . Um , you're stopped by some copper hats through the streets . You're stopped by some copper hats . Pretty soon , I see .
Speaker 1You got a permit for this . Where are ?
Speaker 2you taking this .
Speaker 1It's going on top of Dungeoneer Magazine .
Speaker 2Are you sure about that ? I'm going to do something slightly out of character .
Speaker 1Well , slightly , I'm going to . This isn't exactly leaping into danger , but I feel like Riley's kind of feeling like she was tough like a minute ago . And she's going to lean forward . She's sitting on the dragon's head Holding the nimbus hammer and she's going to lean forward and be's sitting on the dragon's head Holding the nimbus hammer .
Speaker 2She's going to lean forward and be like are you going to stop ?
Speaker 1us and use an intimidate check . That's great , that's so good . I'm not exactly intimidating , but I feel like she's feeling a little like she's had enough Healthy . Yeah , we're all feeling it .
Speaker 2It's an 11 .
Speaker 1I love it .
Speaker 2No , no , I was just . You know , I was just making sure that I think , yeah , everything's squared away with you . Yeah , you guys are going to dunch your . You know what , I'll accompany you and make sure you get there safe .
Speaker 1What's your name there ? Constable George , always counting Come up with a name . Gotta keep the GM on his toes . You know what I mean .
Speaker 2It's the bane of every GM .
Speaker 1That's why I always consult the random NPC table . Exactly , you guys have a good table . I want to put it to use .
Speaker 2Let's see , I'll roll up 3d100 . Make it 4 . This guy's name is Sven Crum-fwiddle , crum-fwiddle , crum-fuddle , crumfuddle .
Speaker 1Crumfuddle .
Speaker 2Sven Crumfuddle , crumfuddle and uh , constable Crumfuddle , he's a wug .
Speaker 1That's funny and um say uh , that makes it better that Riley was trying to intimidate him he's got a ruddy leathery face from Fiddle . I can tell you have been on this beat for some time now , from Constable , from Fiddle that's from Fiddle ah , from Fiddle yeah , it's a .
Speaker 2It's an old work name . Well , that's Hrumfwittle . Ah , Hrumfwittle .
Speaker 1Yeah it's an old wug name , has a has a has a has a has a has a has a has a has a has a has a has a has a .
Speaker 2Has a , has a , has a , has a .
Speaker 1Has a has a .
Speaker 2they all lawmen like yourself oh no , I was the first , uh first wug in my family to get an education I bet your uh parents were proud yeah , still are hey , good for you , good for you .
Speaker 1So , uh , you can tell them about , uh , the great escort job you did today , uh , getting this dragon head to dungeon your magazine . Just like going through all of bogtown , like I'm like main street , just like about the great escort job you did today getting this dragon head to Dungeoner magazine , are we ? Just going through all of Bogtown on Main Street .
Speaker 2We're taking the long route Bop Bap . Periodically go back up , back up . Now Everyone side of the street .
Speaker 1Nice , I like that and I .
Speaker 2Kate Caterine does a double take Like what around .
Speaker 1Nice , I like that and I , kate Catarat does like a double take .
Speaker 2Super impressed . Alright , here you go . Dungeoneer Magazine building there . Where are you going to put this on that building ? Gotta make sure it's structurally sound , of course . You know I'm sure it's gonna be . He looks at Riley she doesn't say anything .
Speaker 1She's got like a piece of wheat like hanging out of her mouth . She's sitting like Conan , high atop a throne with , like her nimbus hammer in hand . Yeah , it's like crossing my enemies seeing them before me . Yeah , exactly . I say yeah , it's probably going to go right on top there .
Speaker 2You going to de-skin it ? No , you're leaving the skin on .
Speaker 1Yeah , I say we're going to let them figure it out . We should probably de-skin it .
Speaker 2We took scales already right .
Speaker 1We have enough scales to make a suit of armor .
Speaker 2Correct .
Speaker 1Which I will do at some point . Who is Geddy Vell Munchhausen ?
Speaker 2What .
Speaker 1I don't know . I have it written down . I was trying to remember the name of the guy who runs this thing Gideon Flea . It's flea greenbacks , but that's your academy .
Speaker 2Is it yes , yes , okay . It's very bizarre to hear you say that , yeah , I know I have .
Speaker 1I have a little like outline and it says sarpathia spread across galabek's grand being held by others . They've gathered several eyes of ek and then below that , gettyville , munchausen , I don't I don't know uh taking good notes , man . That was something that shane chandar said yeah , so did he bring up gettyville munchausen , or did we meet him at like that ?
Speaker 2no , and express thing I think he brought him up for some reason express I can't remember the name . Yes , pandora's express . Yes , that's what it is oh classic I love bogtown , it's true . Um , all right , shane says well , I'll see you around .
Felmog Duel and Dragon's Bolt
Speaker 2Probably go rest up for a couple days after that one sounds like a good idea .
Speaker 1It was a pleasure adventuring with you , shane he offers a hero tuck to both of you simultaneously it's like I say , uh yeah , you might want to get a chiropractor or something to look at that back ears .
Speaker 2Uh , it's fine , It'll buff out . Yeah , uh , zona , I can trust you to uh submit that story to fleeg , right and they kept kissing and kissing .
Speaker 1What so much kissing ?
Speaker 2I'm gonna go , yeah , rent a room and just pass out for a few days . Sounds good . All right , buddy , I think we should take it easy too .
Speaker 1Galen Agreed , let's go get some pancakes .
Speaker 2Pancakes Give me a high five . Yeah , zona goes off to submit the story to Fleeg .
Speaker 1Give me a high five .
Speaker 2As you guys go to get some pancakes , riley , you bump into a man in armor , in red armor . Red armor , one of the emperor's guards uh , I instinctively I say hey what's where you're going before I like register who it is or what's going on yeah , um , he removes his helmet and like the stare that he gives you just kind of like shakes you to your core . Uh , I mean sorry , you bumped into me .
Speaker 1I'm sorry , I you know I wasn't looking where I was going Big mistake Duel tomorrow here , pinhole life . Galen rears up the axe as it's glowing red right behind him . I'll like Hold on . You think that's a little , I don't know .
Speaker 2It's a matter of honor .
Speaker 1I say I bet this guy spells honor with a U . I'm going to look around at the crowd to see what other people are thinking .
Speaker 2Yeah , you notice that you're passing this giant stone building and there are other Felmog Knights milling about and they're all like it's a matter of honor . It's a matter of honor .
Speaker 1Honor , honor , honor . I'm going to go straight into danger and put my finger on his thing . You got it , mister .
Speaker 2Then it is settled .
Speaker 1Okay , I'm going to back away sheepishly , trying to puff up my chest a little bit and be like this guy's like really like uh , irrationally angry and he just like stomps off and like bumps into other people . It says you want a tool too . He has like eight duels lined up . Yeah , um , can I , uh , can I like go over to one of the other felmog knights around and be like so uh , who's that guy ?
Speaker 2Yeah , you approach a woman in armor . She says that is Ser Helnar the red .
Speaker 1Ser Helnar . He's kind of a loose cannon , apparently . I've got a duel with him tomorrow at noon .
Speaker 2Unfortunate For him , yeah , for him , it's one-on-one .
Speaker 1Your friend cannot join , yes , but according to film agla , you can't appoint a champion in your stead . Do you have a power that says that ? That's like genius nope , but yeah . Yeah , I was going to see if I could make . I have no abilities . It'll make that true . That's the problem .
Speaker 2I was going to make a little check , that's not true at all . All of it , in fact , that goes against the very fabric of what we believe Charm failed .
Speaker 1Yeah , any pointers ? In a Felmog duel , don't die . Are there any rules Actually ? Maybe I can go find out exactly what the rules are . Maybe there's some .
Speaker 2It's just . An honorable duel Fight to near death . It's a matter of honor . Fight to near death .
Speaker 1It's a matter of honor . Near death .
Speaker 2Near death , but one cannot always assure that you leave the other opponent to near death .
Speaker 1We look at Sir Helnar's record of duels and they all end in death . He's undefeated . Yeah , he has a high mortality rate for his opponents . Any reason why this guy's so angry all the time ? I think the you know , based on color theory and him seeing red all the time , maybe he's just His armor makes him mad .
Speaker 2I wouldn't bring this up to him , but yes , he's recently fallen from grace . He lost some sort of family heirloom recently . It's all very pathetic .
Speaker 1In the next 12 hours we have to get the family heirloom back , and then we don't give it back to him , we wield it in battle against him .
Speaker 2He'll be shaken to his core .
Speaker 1It's like an arm war .
Speaker 2Hey , I'm sitting on it . Call it the Dragon's Bolt .
Speaker 1The Dragon's Bolt , hussein . Um yeah , call it the dragon's bolt , the dragon's bolt hussein the dragon's bolt . Well , what is the dragon's ? It was like a bolt of cloth or like a nut and bolt kind of situation .
Speaker 2It was a spear like a lightning bolt if you want to know more , talk to Thurwig the hunchback . He's definitely taken the brunt of Sir Alnar's rage .
Speaker 1Okay , where do we find Thurwig ?
Speaker 2Around the corner of the vault , the vault , he's the blacksmith .
Speaker 1Well , I'm not in the mood for pancakes anymore . Yeah , how about a drink ? How about a beer ? Yeah , at this point , give me of that , uh , rascal , to nail , or cider , as it were . Um , okay , so should we talk to to thurwig , greta thurwig ? Yeah , wow , wow , thank you . Thank you , took me a second to register it . Yeah , wow , wow .
Speaker 2Thank you . Thank you , took me a second to register it .
Speaker 1It was terrible . We like walk into the vault , like look up at the high ceilings , all the dark stone , like fell mugs hurrying about hearing the ringing of hammers is like third . The hunchback looks up at us .
Speaker 2Yeah , yeah , he is a . He's a pretty large wug A lot of wugs today . I love it . And he's like hunched over . He's got a noticeable hump and he's just hammering away dutifully and you can see that like he has some weapons , like cooling on racks , and they look magnificent , like some of the best you've ever seen , oh Say hi , you must be Thurwig the blacksmith .
Speaker 1Oh , oh , yes you must be Thurwig the blacksmith .
Speaker 2He just assumed he can't hear me Galen looks back at Riley . Sorry for the smell , oh sorry .
Speaker 1Yeah , he probably can't smell it above himself and the sulfur and brimstone he's hammering yeah .
Speaker 2I'm sorry , madam .
Speaker 1Oh , no worries , I was hoping maybe we could chat for a second . I had a couple of questions about Ser Helar and something called the Dragon's Bolt . Do you happen to know what that is ?
Speaker 2Oh yes , he's very angry , angry .
Speaker 1Yeah , I've got a duel with him tomorrow afternoon and .
Speaker 2Oh no , I'm sorry for your loss , I mean .
Speaker 1I can hold my own , okay , like I'm Actually . No , he's probably going to wipe the floor of me , but I was wondering if there was , like you know , what happened with this dragon's bolt .
Speaker 2Oh , pumpkin gang .
Speaker 1Oh , come on , man Did they steal it . I say yeah , yeah .
Speaker 2Yes , he was attacked In the fields .
Speaker 1He's attacking the fields , mr Trap , I bet .
Speaker 2He lost it .
Speaker 1Wait . So he lost it . Why is he mad at you ? Well , the knight said that he lost favor , or whatever .
Speaker 2He's always mad at me .
Speaker 1Now extra . He's mad at me too . Maybe we can get this bolt , he'll cool off and I won't have to fight him .
Speaker 2He wanted me to make a new one , but I can't . I can't make anything magic .
Speaker 1It's magic . Can you make a replica ? If we give you a dragon horn or tooth or whatever you need , just want it to look exactly the same as it and he can use that in battle against Riley and become overconfident and lose .
Speaker 2You want me to trick Sir Helena ?
Speaker 1No , I mean , I do say would it be possible for you to make like a facsimile if we have dragon parts for you ?
Speaker 2You have dragon parts .
Speaker 1Yeah , we got a ton of them . We got loads of them . We do we're lousy with them .
Speaker 2I suppose it could be done , but tricking's a hell . No , oh , I don't know .
Speaker 1What do you think , Riley ? Okay , if Riley's squirrely about it , I'm not going to push the issue .
Speaker 2Remember last time we messed with Felmog guys , they cleaned our clocks .
Speaker 1That's literally the only thing I ever want to do is mess with Felmog guys . They crushed us .
Speaker 2So if you want this to happen , you'll have to make a check to persuade thurwick to do it I don't .
Speaker 1I think that this is a great opportunity to go take care of the pumpkin gang . All right , what if we enlisted his help to go take care of the pumpkin gang ? Yeah , like the like what happened with the . Does he know anything about the pumpkin gang ? Like , do they have any weaknesses ? Oh well , how about this ? Right ? What if we call him out and say , as a matter , if it's a matter of honor , we'll help you restore your honor by teaming with you to gain your you know , to regain your dragon bolt to hell . Yeah , I mean , we could try please , please , don't say we spoke .
Speaker 1We'll be even more angry do you think if we just had it he would not fight us ? What do you if we gave , if we got the dragon ? All right , this is how I perceive ben gming .
Speaker 2This right we go we get it back , yeah yeah , no rightizing against the person .
Speaker 1Yeah , no , right . We get the Dragonbolt back , we show up with it and he says you've stolen my heirloom , I will kill you . Then I'll use it against him , I'll beat him up with a magical weapon . Yeah , so ultimately we're going to use it against him . I think is going to be how it goes .
Speaker 2It's a matter of honor If I get it back and he still wants to fight .
Speaker 1I'll fight this guy . Yeah , maybe you can do it with power .
Speaker 2I'll prepare myself .
Speaker 1I'll rent a suit of armor or a shield and be like a joust .
Speaker 2I love that half the time I don't even have to say anything . I'll just let you guys come to conclusions .
Speaker 1It's just a piece of fear . We're living in fear of you , ben . You're a monster and we love you for it . Alright , then Riley suddenly storms out like not saying anything .
Speaker 2Galen has to warn up again .
Speaker 1I'm gonna go over to Pandora's and get myself a rascal cider and be like alright we have 12 hours or whatever , However long we have . We have 24 hours to go to the Forlorn . Fields and get this Dragonbolt before I get beat up by Hellnark . Riley comes back outside from Pandora's Express and all she sees is me sitting on the back of FB , reaching my hand down to hoist her on the back of FB as in , we're going to go , let's do this . I grab his hand like bam and then it pinholes .
Speaker 1Yeah , grab his hand like like bam and then it pinholes . Yeah , awesome , all right , story . Story's so good , it writes itself . Love it all , right , everybody ?
Speaker 2uh , thanks for hanging out with us today . Oh , let's do some xp . All right , everybody , thanks for hanging out with us today . Oh , let's do some XP , let's do that XP .
Speaker 1I'm leveling to nine this time around . Oh , I think oh snap , yeah , holy shnikes , it's going to bump me to 45 , unless that number's changed too , I have the newest butch .
Speaker 2Where is it ? Where is it that didn't ?
Speaker 1change cool . Yeah , yeah , 45 xp , baby . So as long as I gained four this time um solve a problem creatively .
Speaker 2Did you do that ?
Speaker 1oh uh , I didn't realize Princess Funnybone was streaming , yeah actually that's awesome . Maybe we could share the link .
Speaker 2We'll share the link on Discord . Actually , yeah .
Speaker 1Princess Funnybone .
Speaker 2share the link on Discord I think it's 4 pm Pacific , 7 pm Eastern , if I recall . Yeah , that is correct . Yes , her group is going to start playing a Land of Eam game .
Speaker 1That's great . I can't wait it's so exciting .
Speaker 2She's got a skeleton knight errant , which is awesome . Nice , I can't wait , it's going to be fun .
Speaker 1I'm going to tune in Classic , classic , classic indeed . And if anybody else watching this stream doesn't have a game or wants to start a game , you can check out landaveemcom and download the beta rules for free . You can also follow up on what's going on with the Landaveem Kickstarter by going to landaveemcom slash Kickstarter and join the Discord , because there are other people looking for games as well , and Ben and I and George are on there pretty frequently to answer questions or check out what's going on . It's a fun time .
Character Development and Meta Choices
Speaker 2So , george , I'm only counting 3 XP , unless you guys feel like you did some role playing XP or did your ideas and flaws .
Speaker 1I feel like we did do some role playing XP .
Speaker 1I like my ideals , but not quite . I'm not going to count it . I was . I honestly , and this , it's fine If we don't , if I don't get to level nine at this time . I'm not like married to the idea of it . I was hoping we were going to have downtime by the fire , but we got attacked by harpies because I wanted to explore riley retiring as a tinkerer . Um , but we can do that next time because I don't think I used any ideals or flaws no , I mean , uh , what , what , uh , what did you want to say ?
Speaker 2because we'll probably flick , we will probably forget , that's true .
Speaker 1So just well well , it was going to be more of it , like , because I we kind of broached the subject between our two travel checks the , the travel with the . Uh , the machine , the broken .
Speaker 2Yeah , because we were talking about . What would the um , like building on the relationship be like ? How would it change in some way ?
Speaker 1be reinforced or I think it's it's kind of um and it's twofold for galen . He realizes how important it like it's not that it wasn't important before , but I think it reinforces the idea that it's really important for riley to survive to old age and not die . Uh , you know , I think that he's gonna before .
Speaker 1No , no , it's just like you know it's . It's just like he's like oh man , we really , I really gotta start keeping her out of danger , because she has this dream to um . You know , she has such a strong dream to make a flying machine contraption , um , and I think the fact that it keeps recurring makes it more than just like a flight of fancy for Riley and Galen , so to speak . Exactly , exactly , so to speak . Galen is , is has become more sensitive to this idea and he wants to promote it as much as he can . Or , you know , figure out how he can advance that somewhat , figure out how he can advance that somewhat .
Speaker 1Cool , I think , simultaneously , like riley is like trying to put off the things that she wants to do in her life because this quest to help the mucklins and stop the sarpathy sort of takes precedent over everything else in their lives and yeah you know the , the dream of one day being free of adventure and being able to focus on her academic pursuits is , uh , one that's keeping her going , but also she feels guilty about such a stretch .
Speaker 2Yeah , all right , uh , 4xp . Then nice , I'm level nine . All right , uh , four XP then Nice , I'm level nine .
Speaker 1Um , yeah , I , but I really do want to kind of start to kind of steer . This is , I think it's going to ultimately become in this quest , like , do we keep pushing and risk our lives or do we Quietly retire and let the world burn Because , like , I mean , I don't know . It's like it's a . It is an interesting thing now that you know Riley really has uh , not that she didn't before , but like there's more of a driving goal now .
Speaker 2Um , I think it'll come down to like really being more of a meta choice . Like down to like really being more of a meta choice , like do we want to keep playing this high level campaign where you guys are like level 10 going around the world exploring the sandbox , or like start , start a new ?
Speaker 1there's so much stuff to explore . Either way , a new start just do both stream twice yeah , I , it's fine , I'm , I'm ready , I'll stream mondays , let's do it . Um , but yeah , I think that I think this is like all good compelling content and I'm kind of I'm genuinely curious to see where it goes .
Speaker 2Yeah , it'll be fun , yeah , dudes , alright well .
Speaker 1Ben , maybe share the links to the discord and landveemcom and yeah , we will see everybody next week . Yeah , same bad time , same bad channel . Check out , princess , funny bone stream oh yeah , discord deethcord , deethc discord . Do you all do the discord ? Yes , I do the discord . I do . I do the discord so good land of him .
Speaker 2All right see you later . Catch you later , see you later , farewell .
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