Land of Eem: Fantasy Actual Play S03E15 | Fun with Quicksand

Ever thought a simple quest could spiral into unexpected camaraderie and chaotic mishaps? In this week’s Land of Eem Actual Play Podcast, our adventurers dive into dungeon crawls, wild creature encounters, and the colorful mayhem of Camp Mudbank—all wrapped in the signature whimsy and humor of Land of Eem!

This episode is packed with hilarious storytelling, thrilling battles, and the unpredictable nature of random item generation. As our crew reflects on past escapades, they eagerly anticipate what treasures lie behind the next door—will it be the key to victory or another absurd twist of fate? With every discovery, the stakes climb higher, adding excitement and mystery to their journey.

Along the way, our heroes face off against ferocious beasts in a gladiatorial arena, forge unlikely friendships with oddball creatures like crab racks, and embrace the chaos, humor, and creativity that make tabletop RPGs so unforgettable.

As the adventure winds down, our party arrives at Mucklin Harbor, where new quests and endless possibilities await. This journey is a celebration of friendship, bravery, and the boundless spirit of adventure in a land where anything can happen.

If you’re looking for laughter, thrill, and a little bit of chaos, this episode has it all! Subscribe now and don’t miss the next epic adventure in the Land of Eem!

Transcript

Food on the Mic: Starting with a Snack

Speaker 1 0:40

no-transcript you're eating, what do you? Got some yogurt.

Speaker 2 3:57

It's like every time we start I want the audio on that yogurt. You want asmr of my oatmeal. Every time we start like we're sitting in, like the you know the waiting room, the green room, our mics are muted and then when the music starts, like kicking in for the intro, like real, it makes me realize I have so much food left. So I start shoveling food in my mouth as fast as I can, and it happens every saturday, and today caught me.

Speaker 1 4:21

I want to hear some Jabba the Hutt. Casserole sounds Wow.

Speaker 2 4:26

Casserole sounds is rough Ooh.

Speaker 1 4:29

That's not safe to work you know, oh, shoot.

Speaker 2 4:33

You know what I mean. How's everyone doing this Saturday?

Speaker 1 4:40

Doing good man Just hyped for this 55th episode, Wow.

Speaker 2 4:44

High five. You know, it's Palindrome I, palindrome I.

Speaker 1 4:51

I Palindrome.

Speaker 2 4:52

I, I Palindrome.

Speaker 1 4:54

I Alright Now that we've gotten copyright struck.

Speaker 2 5:01

Nothing but gaming. Yeah, I have one thing I want to talk about, and it's dungeon crawls in land of aim. Let's do some random dungeons, you know it's because you got diablo 2 resurrected on your mind yes yes I am a fiend I walk into a dungeon uh, uh I kick, I break open the first barrel a skeleton, a skeleton.

Speaker 1 5:25

I break open the first barrel, A skeleton.

Speaker 2 5:26

A skeleton comes All right. I have to say, though, I was sad when my paladin Dummy Thick died, because I named him Dummy Thick after Galen Really Did you have a paladin also, it was a level seven paladin.

Speaker 2 5:40

I was by the Cairnstones and Rockin' Nishu was lightning enchanted and he surrounded me and I just got wrecked, couldn't get away from him. Gets you every time. Yeah, he got me in my RB spot, so we all had paladins at one point. Yeah, I will have a paladin. I'll have a paladin again soon, I'm sure, when my assassin dies and or my druid.

Speaker 1 6:09

Let's switch gears and get back into the land of Eem. Welcome everybody to another.

Speaker 2 6:14

My favorite thing about my favorite thing about land of Eem is that it's got random item generation, a lot like Diablo 2.

Speaker 1 6:22

Wow, that's true. I mean, that is true.

Speaker 2 6:27

George is lost to us.

Speaker 1 6:32

He ain't wrong.

Speaker 2 6:34

I ain't wrong and I got to say it really provides a lot of flexibility and provides a lot of intrigue. I never know what I'm going to get when I break open a barrel Stop. I mean, it can totally determine what kind of land of em character spec you do. It's true, it's true. You gotta just keep searching for the right, uh, the right land of em character builds. Sorry, sorry, I I found james's weakness. I uh leapt into it all right.

Speaker 1 7:04

So you guys are on the edge of the quagmash as you journey down to the Scalawag Strand, where you've heard rumors of Sarpathy.

Speaker 2 7:14

Indeed, we're going on a quest, did I ever get around to dying? Weldar's armor white with a white flame, herb.

Speaker 1 7:26

I don't think so.

Speaker 2 7:27

I feel like we got interrupted in the middle of the night.

Speaker 1 7:29

I think you found the white flame.

Speaker 2 7:31

I did, I did find it. Oh yes, that's right, Marthal. The regal-looking vampire showed up at some point overnight, yeah, and you told him to go attack point overnight.

Speaker 1 7:45

Yeah, and you told him to go attack the hammer.

Speaker 2 7:48

Yeah, I'm trying to recall. And then we we did run into the pigeon lady. That was, oh yeah, that was before we ran into the vampire, and I think James last rolled and he had successfully caused the hammer to go to Krogland. That's right. Right, I mean, I remember succeeding in getting him off our trail for a bit.

Speaker 1 8:21

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah so. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, it's the next day after your vampire encounter sounds like Galen wants to go dungeon hunting.

Speaker 2 8:35

I mean, in the meta Galen does, but he has eyes on the prize. I think we gotta get to Mucklin Harbor. We do need to get to Mucklin. I mean I gotta get this ship out on the ocean. You know what I mean. You gotta get to Muggle.

Speaker 1 8:46

I mean I got to get this ship out on the ocean, you know what I mean.

Speaker 2 8:48

You got to get to Terror Island and get those Dragon Balls before the Sarpath we do. We've got to get to Terror Island and have a spectacular live on stream party life. I love it. I love it. That ends with tears and hugging it out. How thick is our plot? Armor is the real question. We'll find out in today's episode of Land of E.

Speaker 1 9:14

I feel like you guys have had a great run At this point. If you guys die, you die.

Speaker 2 9:31

This is Ben just being like. You know, you guys die, you die. It's like. This is ben just be like. You know what I'm gonna I'm gonna clean house, get some new energy. We need some new players. Enough of you two. It's gonna be saved by the bell of the new class, wow, wow. I was hoping to get a spit take from james. I saw him drinking close, yeah, close, but it was a wow one, it wasn't yeah it wasn't yeah, it was like oh, it was a, wow, it was like a painful wow reaction yeah, wow, what is?

Speaker 2 9:58

what was the last season? Was there a thing on the scrubs last season? Was it? Or is it just a season where they changed everyone and it was not great?

Speaker 1 10:07

They didn't have a new title, though, right. Yeah, it was just like a completely different show.

Speaker 2 10:12

I think it's time for a Scrubs rewatch.

Speaker 1 10:15

I think it's time to play Land of Eem yeah it is Scrubs rewatch.

Speaker 2 10:24

Tis the season, you know, fall. Sorry, ben, I'm here.

Speaker 1 10:30

yeah, riley, yeah, you know, I'm, you know I'm trying to keep things on track, you know, all right this is the content that people patronize us for just make a travel check. All right, I'll do it.

Random Item Generation: Surprises Await

Speaker 2 10:43

I, I'm going to do it. Yeah, kick it off, look at that Twelve Our hands are guided Descubierto.

Speaker 1 10:55

Descubidubidubierto.

Speaker 2 10:56

Where are you going? Good question, I'm not looking at the map properly. I think we can skip Bogwatch. Yeah, I don't feel super compelled to stop there, I want to kind of keep going. I think we can skip Bogwatch. Yeah, I don't feel super compelled to stop there. I want to kind of keep going.

Speaker 1 11:08

I say we go.

Speaker 2 11:11

Oh gosh sorry, I say we go to go through 2318, or is that 2318 or 2019? 23.19, yeah. Yes, that's exactly what I was going to suggest.

Speaker 2 11:23

23.20.'s, that's right okay, well, you made a discovery, so uh, you find the tgi fridays that is open all night, d100 wow while you roll that d100, drive through rpgcom and re-download the free Land of Eam beta bundle, because I need to get the books again. Wow, just saying you also can if you're watching. Actually, I did have to do that myself not too long ago. I accidentally deleted all the books on my desktop.

Speaker 1 12:01

Yeah, same.

Speaker 2 12:03

It's 100% what happened to me. Yeah.

Speaker 1 12:05

So same this is 100%.

Speaker 2 12:09

What happened to me? Yeah, so 40. 40 is what you rolled.

Speaker 1 12:11

Yes, I was trying to get a 40. Sorry, 40.

Speaker 2 12:18

Roll the 40, Hazen.

Speaker 1 12:22

You find a gnome that is painting signs that read quicksand beware. He's kind of like cordoning off a big area.

Speaker 2 12:39

Wow, is he like slowly sinking as he's writing the sign, like unaware of he's actually in the quicksand and then he'll remember and move. Like move a little bit. I love it. Sorry, carry on James. Thanks for marking off all this quicksand, riley. Too many rascal ciders.

Speaker 1 13:02

Oh, I didn't see that. Would you mind helping me out?

Speaker 2 13:10

I say your voice is familiar, what's your name? And as I help him out and I just pop him out of the quicksand, he had a bringle boot.

Speaker 1 13:18

You know, I have the classic Dingledale accent.

Speaker 2 13:21

Yeah, yeah accent yeah. The classic dingle-dell accent. I'd say it's very identifiable. Oh, I love that accent. It's so musical, it really tickles my ears.

Speaker 1 13:40

Wonderful. Take these paintbrushes. And why don't you head over that way to the east?

Speaker 2 13:51

Well, thank you. Yeah, I'm sorry. Is E Eda implying that we should continue painting quicksand signs, or did we just receive repaint brushes?

Speaker 1 14:02

Oh, I thought you were going to help.

Speaker 2 14:03

Oh, ok, ok OK.

Speaker 1 14:05

Yeah.

Speaker 2 14:05

I mean if we're avoiding thanks yeah I'll, uh, I'll, give her the thumbs up and and actually write them and plant them like as we go just to, so other people can avoid the quicksand. That, yeah, I too will help, like I'll hammer in the signs and then riley will, will paint the very wonderfully calligraphy read and I'm going to delay us one day because I'm going to draw birds and bumblebees in the corners of them. Beautiful signs, beautiful signs. You missed your calling.

Speaker 1 14:41

Both of you make nimbleness checks.

Speaker 2 14:43

Oh boy, riley, is the world getting taller?

Speaker 1 14:49

Eight.

Speaker 2 14:53

Wow, whoa, wow Wasted a 12. He does a triple lutz as he's holding the sign. Yeah, no, quicksand can hold my dummy thick thighs. That's basically what it is, mm-hmm riley.

Speaker 1 15:31

Um, you're spending so much time working on these little doodles on the sign that, like you, uh, you forget what's going on and you kind of linger too long and you just barely escape, but the sign just like falls into the quicksand um, can I use the jury to uh kind of lasso the sign and bring it back and say, riley, you're too far in, and then we like hammer it farther out I don't think so, I don't think so okay okay, I think you're too far away, I see so I'm greater than 30 feet away.

Speaker 2 16:07

Got it. But, I mean Galen. You did a masterful job with your science. Well, you know, it came from the heart. I fear quicksand. I had some bad experiences as a child that I'm sure that we can recount when we camp tonight.

Speaker 1 16:36

Well, I mean, that's it, that's the discovery you made.

Speaker 2 16:38

Yeah, I say hey. Where are you headed to After you finished with these signs that we helped you with?

Speaker 1 16:48

Oh well, I've got a lot of work to do.

Speaker 2 16:52

Really, what is it you do? Are you like health and safety or something?

Speaker 1 16:58

No, I'm just doing my due diligence, just like.

Speaker 2 17:02

Dingledale Parks and Rec. Yeah, making sure the whole Mucklands is safe to traverse. Yeah, we look and instead of like a safe to traverse yeah, we look. And instead of like a white pickup truck that all parks and rec departments have, there's, like you know, a white covered wagon with like dingledell pnr on the side, like a gatorade barrel on the back of it yeah, would you like some. That'd be great, I say, is it made from Braille Gators? This is.

Speaker 1 17:34

Fizzy Whiz.

Speaker 2 17:36

Oh, fizzy Whiz. I was genuinely concerned. I'll crack open a can of Fizzy Whiz. Get a little pep in my step, you know. On the way to Muckland Harbor.

Speaker 1 17:50

Oh, is that where you're going?

Speaker 2 17:52

that's where we're headed. Is that where you're, you've come from, or which direction were you heading in originally? We can also travel together if you need a little bit of you know muscle on your road no, I'm not traveling, I'm doing this job.

Speaker 1 18:02

You see that? Uh, you're helping me you know, it doesn't, doesn't just end here, my boy.

Speaker 2 18:12

Does it end? Where does the quicksand end?

Speaker 1 18:16

I think I'll have to walk all the way into the quagmash.

Speaker 2 18:20

I say, well, if you go real deep, keep an eye out for our friend Sklunch. Tell him we say hello, he's big Orch. I see Well thank you, I don't think.

Speaker 1 18:35

I'll be going up that way.

Speaker 2 18:42

Classic. Well, you know, if we ever see you again. I guess we hope we see you again. I take another can of Fizzy Whiz and run. One for the road, bye yeah.

Speaker 1 19:00

I take it all. She gives you a big case, case of Fizzy Whiz.

Speaker 2 19:04

I put a case of Fizzy Whiz on the back of FB. It's like six inventory. It's worth it. Costco run it's worth it, like the idea of a costco run line of beam, um okay. So fizzy whiz, I mean it's like that that jug of rascal cider that we had forever. The case of fizzy whiz will also last. It's like six adventures, until Ben reminds us that it's a finite resource there's only so much fizzy whiz in the landing, we're gonna drink it all. That's the new quest it's made from people soylent fizz.

Speaker 1 19:49

Made from wizard meat.

Speaker 2 19:54

Have you ever wondered why it's such low magic in the land of Eam? Well, Fizzy Wiz can tell you why.

Speaker 1 19:58

Alright, Georgie boy, make another check.

Speaker 2 20:02

I'm up, I'm up. I've been up the whole time. Yep, the roller giveth and the roller taketh away. Good, stuff uh, would a four be any different ben?

Speaker 1 20:18

no, okay, three to five, three to five.

Speaker 2 20:22

I always think it's four to six, but it's three to five. Six is good, yeah, well, relatively speaking, so roll that d100 gonna roll that d100, gonna get a dangerous encounter, or is it perilous? 14 low number? What does it mean? What do it all mean?

Speaker 1 20:45

do it mean All right.

Speaker 2 20:52

Which way are you going? Well, we were going to. I mean, maybe we'll split the difference between these two bodies of water and go like into 2420 and then 2421. Right next to Camp Mudbank. Or should we stop in Camp Mudbank for the night, sorry, what do we know about Camp Mudbank? Is it like a mining camp? Why do I feel like? But I'm sorry, what do we know about camp mud bank? Is like a mining camp? Why do I feel like we've been there?

Speaker 2 21:11

I thought it was like a camp filled with scum and villainy, but I, I don't recall, I don't recall, I don't I don't know.

Speaker 1 21:18

Yeah, it's sort of like a trading camp for, you know, rep scallions do they have?

Speaker 2 21:29

yeah, I wonder if it would be safer just to camp outside of Camp Mudbank and not actually go into it. Proper yes.

Speaker 1 21:40

I say camp outside.

Speaker 2 21:41

Yeah, let's camp outside, let's settle in for the night. Start stoking a fire.

Speaker 1 21:51

Before that happens, you encounter two dwarves who are losing, like in the process of losing, control of a used-to-be tiger. I don't know if you've ever seen those before, oh dear, I feel like we've only been threatened with them. I don't know if you've ever seen those before, oh dear.

Speaker 2 22:10

I feel like we've only been threatened with them. I don't know that we've ever seen one.

Speaker 1 22:14

It's a large purple tiger, large purple cat. They've got ropes and shackles that are just like flailing off. Can I feed of strength?

Speaker 2 22:28

and grab the ropes and shackles and try just like flailing off and um, can I, can I feed of strength and grab the ropes and shackles and try to reign the beast in? Um, or is some stuff going to happen before that?

Speaker 1 22:39

yeah, I mean you could I think you could try.

Speaker 2 22:43

You might have like disadvantage now or I don't know, since I'm using you. Tell me what. I'm just gonna roll my string. I'm gonna roll a feet of string and I'm gonna wrangle that tagu. I do it 12, exactly.

Speaker 1 23:00

All right so the issue is that you know it's just one rope chain or whatever, yeah, um. So you've got it, you've got a good hold on it, but you're kind of like fighting with it in terms like it's sort of like a tug of war.

Speaker 2 23:26

Yeah, um winning. But I'm I'm like smiling in the face of danger, grinning at this tiger as I kind of like pulled a rope in and realize all I'm doing is pulling the tiger closer to me. That's not a good thing.

Speaker 1 23:40

Uh, do we have any um?

Speaker 2 23:43

um meat. I mean I got one neck of donkey. Still, wait, let me see if, uh, if, let me see if Delizard ate it. That's awesome. Nope, she's just been nibbling, she's been good. So we got Naked Donkey and some rations. I mean, maybe they love Fizzy Wiz.

Speaker 1 24:06

The Dwarves are shouting at you in their native tongue how's that? Like kind of like barking orders at you.

The Glimpse of Chaos: Camp Mudbank

Speaker 2 24:14

It's like uh-huh, uh-huh good let go. Yes, rightly says that and I do it. No, I know, um, um, let's. Is there a tree nearby? Actually, I'm going to do I for clues that there's a sturdy tree that we could hook this up to. That would really give us an advantage for controlling the creature. I totally do it, dude. You totally do it, dude, you totally do it. 12 a sturdy tree um ends up being a beamkin.

Speaker 1 25:01

That's the problem that's no say there's like a post, we're in the used to be forest.

Speaker 2 25:10

still, oh right, that's like a giant stump, it's like a big uh with ruts that we can tie things to. Giants stump with ruts, Um, massive gnarled ruts, Ruts that just are woven into the ground and up and around. And uh, let's go. Hey Galen, wrap it around. This tree stump here. It looks sturdy. I just start tugging over.

Speaker 1 25:39

Yeah, make another check to see if you get attacked, as this is going on. Oh dear.

Speaker 2 25:46

Oh yeah, I know where this is going. Is there going to be another might check to keep wrangling it? Yeah, do I have to use a quest point to reuse my ability, or is it just a regular might check?

Speaker 1 25:57

Yeah, just make a regular one.

Speaker 2 25:58

Okay, yeah, it's literally 12s and 1s I get attacked, but maybe it has a bonus to it. 12s and 1s I get attacked, but as a Maybe it has a bonus to it. I mean, you know, it's such a low roll Failure with a plus.

Speaker 1 26:20

What has a bonus?

Speaker 2 26:22

I think it's a 3 and it's a failure with a plus.

Speaker 1 26:27

Yeah, I think the plus is that you can still continue to uh the stump the marquee post sorry, I'm going to. I'm looking up to used to be tiger right now they used to be tiger.

Speaker 2 26:44

He's got a clock. What's this guy got? Huh yeah, he's got a clock a lot bite.

Speaker 1 26:46

He's got a claw claw bite what's this guy got huh, he's got a claw. Claw bite Does 40 damage.

Speaker 2 26:50

Pretty standard claw, claw, bite situation, power game. That could have gone worse Still. I block one, I take seven, so I'm at 21. I take seven, so I'm at 21 out of 23. Well, that was the attack. Oh, oh, that's good. I was concerned. Whoa Bologices, his jaws clamp down on my bulwark helmet and he swipes again that counterattack.

Speaker 1 27:35

Look at that, look at this.

Speaker 2 27:38

Galen is invulnerable to tigers, only tigers, though Only tigers.

Speaker 1 27:41

Tiger swipes twice. The second one is only like this isn't really combat. I think that's something that I'm going to have to take issue with. That's fine.

Speaker 2 27:53

I accept. With uh, with the uh, it's always combat. Life is life is combat. With the, with the use of the armor. I know I completely understand. That's fine, please, please. I encourage you to remind me, otherwise I will always just see I have plus five points, um, but I'm accounting for one block for my armor, so I just take one yes, yes, so, and then you're able to um, make it over the stump and, like you know, tie it around um the dwergs keep their distance from the tiger still seems ornery.

Speaker 1 28:31

And um they're just barking at you. Their language just sounds like barking. You have no idea what they're saying.

Speaker 2 28:39

Yeah, they could be like saying thank you, but it sounds like they're saying not those things hey hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, yeah, um, oh, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey Wow. Maybe PhyloSim can interpret.

Speaker 1 29:02

You guys could make a realms check to. Cypher.

Speaker 2 29:06

Maybe they got some hand signals or something they're using to communicate physically. I'll do it, realms. Whoa, I do it. I'm like I don't understand a thing they're saying, riley.

Speaker 1 29:19

Yeah, they're actually thanking you and saying that you should come buy wares from them at Camp Mudbank, just down the way. Oh, maybe we'll get a deal. We could get food.

Speaker 2 29:31

Yeah.

Speaker 1 29:33

Or we can get a deal on a tiger A.

Speaker 2 29:35

Land of Eem. Universal thumbs up and we'll follow. I offer them pins.

Speaker 1 29:43

They sniff it and then put it in a coin pouch.

Speaker 2 29:47

I have infinite pins. Yeah, that's Sorry. You said they beckoned us to follow them. Are they just leaving the tiger there?

Speaker 1 29:59

No, they said to go to Camp Mudbank.

Speaker 2 30:04

You want to do that in the morning, james Sure, or you want to do it now.

Speaker 1 30:10

I'd be amazed. We'll do it now.

Speaker 2 30:12

We're one hex away. If we've made some friends, then James thanks, Caveat. We'll get to town, but we'll be slightly exhausted.

Speaker 1 30:27

You'll have to make another check at disadvantage.

Speaker 2 30:32

Yeah. Maybe we should just yeah, let's just camp here. Yeah, it's kind of.

Speaker 1 30:37

We'll see you tomorrow yeah. Yeah, you see them take you know. I don't know if you're sticking around, but they're like trying to get the tiger calm down before they head off.

Speaker 2 31:00

We camp just outside of the reach of the tiger. We just watch the whole thing. We get no sleep at all. Yeah.

Speaker 1 31:09

And still hear it. Riley, all right, what do you guys want to do at camp?

Speaker 2 31:19

Well, I gotta say I hope old Noggin got that ship fixed with all the lumber we sent 25 years ago. Yeah, I mean hopefully Elmo didn't turn into some kind of maniacal warlord and take advantage of the situation. I forgot about Elmo.

Speaker 1 31:37

I wonder how Elmo still I wonder if Elmo is still alive. I don't think you guys ever sent. There wasn't enough lumber for the ship. You had to take it all to the crack.

Speaker 2 31:48

Didn't we divert some from Marshgate? Oh, I thought we diverted some.

Speaker 1 31:56

Wow, I don't think so. Lumber, lumber, lumber, we got to Marshgate and then we, like, went north to the crack.

Speaker 2 32:06

I thought we made a deal with the guy at Marshgate. It took us like a year to get that lumber. We gave him like information and then he's diverting the next load for us down the river. Well, if we don't, then Camp Mudvink might be helpful, because we can maybe buy it from the dorks yeah, leaving Marshgate. I don't remember this because we can maybe buy it from the Dwarves yeah, leaving Marshgate.

Speaker 1 32:32

I don't remember this.

Speaker 2 32:35

Yeah, we like commissioned the barge guy for a gold a day. Yeah.

Speaker 1 32:40

And then Right, but that was just to get out of the place. He had the lumber too though. Yeah, but then but I think that that lumber yeah yeah, we sent the lumber, brought it to the crack manually with the guy's wagon yeah, that I remember.

Speaker 2 32:57

In that case, Riley's gonna be like man, I wish we diverted more lumber to whatever I feel like he wanted to or something.

Speaker 1 33:06

Yeah, I just don't think it happened the way he wanted to Curse me and my note-taking.

Speaker 2 33:12

Yeah.

Speaker 1 33:15

Either way.

Speaker 2 33:16

I mean it's been a long time. Yeah.

Speaker 1 33:20

Galen, does he still have?

Speaker 2 33:21

lumber in Camp Mudbank. Do you think we'll be able to get a deal from the Dwarves? That is not a bad idea. I mean, they're just down the Blackrill. I mean they're still kind of the water is contiguous with it. I mean they must get lumber shipments for the quagmash. Yeah, or maybe we can get some quagmash lumber, if that's a thing. Soggy wood, yeah, we let it dry for ten years and then we resume our quest as old men and women and child 70 years old. Yeah, um, yeah. I mean, like I think it's almost kind of funny if we just assume that there's going to be lumber there and there isn't. That's pretty funny, yeah, if only we plan these things off stream that would go against the spirit of the game.

Speaker 2 34:13

Yeah, it would it would, it wouldn't feel good. Yeah, the sandbox in the sandbox we trust, yeah, uh is wt? Um, I say uh, riley turns, uh, we're sorry, galen turns to r Riley and he's like, yeah, you know, I feel like we sent Lumber. He's probably got the ship right. I mean, he's pretty industrious, he's crazy, but he's industrious.

Speaker 1 34:40

Look at. Buggy Just picking her up so she doesn't go crazy. You know what I mean.

Speaker 2 34:46

She got a case of zoomies. Maybe not so much she will. She will zoom, so she doesn't go crazy. You know what I mean. She got a case of zoomies Maybe not so much. She will, she will, she will, zoom, zoom, zoom. She's Mazda Right on that precipice.

Speaker 2 34:58

She's like revving up her engine. Yeah, bear gets a zoomie sometimes, he just doesn't go very far. It's like three seconds of zoom Under the TV and then he's like I've used all my solar power for the day. Go to sleep, that's right, he is solar powered. He's solar powered, god love him. He's staring at a piece of lettuce right now contemplating his fate. Um, we spend so I think. Another thing that that galen wants to to talk about is like hey, riley, remember, remember that time when we were up and, uh gosh, where were we? It was right at right outside of our village, maybe. Like remember when we were in, like you know, 35, 33, 5, that hex over there, oh yeah, very big, oh yeah, 33, 5 35, like it was yesterday.

Speaker 2 35:49

Yeah, I say uh. You know, the quicksand reminded me a lot of that time. I I got sucked up to my waist in mud and and you kept trying to get me out. Yeah, that was a tough time yeah, I lost my pants that day I lost.

Speaker 2 36:03

They're still there yeah, but you were, you were so smart I mean the way that you kind of rigged up that rope and a pulley over that tree trunk. You're able to to use, uh, some kind of mechanics, check to get me out. It was amazing. Well, you know, I don't, I'm not really that mighty. I got to utilize my uh my brain, my brain pain. You know, small but mighty, small but mighty I think you don't give yourself enough credit galen talks and he's like very meta.

Speaker 2 36:31

Yeah, it's like you maybe can't yeah uh my brain, immersive brain, yeah yeah, uh, I remember we were at that fork of the river and it was really muddy and I was up to my knees and I started sinking and I was like Riley, get me out of here. I failed all of my nimbleness and athletics. I say you know, you've always had such a good head on your shoulders. You sure you want to risk it all on Terror Island? You could go Open up a shop and be just like crazy, ernie, build your flying machines. I know I've thought about it. I've thought about uh, going back to the crack building that flying machine and just flying the heck out of here. But it's our responsibility, man, man, we've got to. We've got to stop these Sarpathy from doing whatever they're doing and you know they screwing up everybody's lives, script welders life. You know he's not.

Speaker 1 37:37

Oh yeah, he's with us, isn't he? Oh yeah, totally.

Speaker 2 37:43

He's well, they're saying nothing, Just like yeah, yeah. Hey, nothing, just like yeah, yeah, hey. Welder lay off the fizzy whiz and he's like I've never had such delicious liquid before. Wow, these fizzy whizzes are great I'm really feeling it not too much welder. Bunch of empty cans around him. He's like belching up a storm. He's like sugar high, fit to crash. He's just just doing push-ups and sit-ups. Look what I can do. Look what I can do.

Speaker 1 38:12

Look what I can do. Look what I can do. How do you think I can do? You wake up digging holes, oh my God.

Speaker 2 38:20

He's driven into madness.

Speaker 1 38:22

Yeah.

Speaker 2 38:23

In fact, while he is like when he finally crashes from the sugar high somewhere at like 3 AM, um, galen will wake up a little early the next morning and like die as armor white.

Speaker 1 38:41

Make a tinker check.

Speaker 2 38:44

Say Riley, is Riley's asleep? I don't want to wake her up. This is going to be a surprise for everyone. Baelin's super proud of what he's doing. He thinks he's doing amazing.

Gladiatorial Combat: Fighting for Freedom

Speaker 2 38:53

Oh man, I was going to pep talk you? Nope, nope, I want this to be ridiculous. Alright, so plus one, here we go. Yeah, yeah, I've dragged. I don't know how to grind the flower into like proper dye, so it's kind of like streaky, like someone painted without laying down primer. It's like a poor. So it's just like it's kind of the idea is there, but the execution is not. Yeah, it's clearly not too thin coats. Yeah, yeah, it's like smeared it's uneven Didn't have enough water to your brush.

Speaker 2 39:30

Yeah, yeah, and I'm just, but I'm, I'm very like. I think I did a good job. I think he's going to love it, so in the morning do you like present it to him? No, I just like it's, it's on, it's like whatever I don't know armor stand that he usually uses and I just let it be where it was before and I just like I'm sitting and waiting and sipping my coffee. This is exactly how I'm like what, what? Happened to my armor.

Speaker 1 40:02

What's wrong with this?

Speaker 2 40:05

wrong. What do you mean wrong?

Speaker 1 40:09

what did you do?

Speaker 2 40:12

I don't know, it looks like maybe just like a lot of seagulls.

Speaker 1 40:18

A lot of seagulls look at this there's a handprint looks like I.

Speaker 2 40:25

I kind of like put my hands in my pits. I have white dye all over my face.

Speaker 1 40:33

Is this some kind of joke no I got hit too yeah, I say what I.

Speaker 2 40:41

I mean I tried my best, welder. I wanted you to get kind of a clean break from the film log. I wanted to get you something nice and make your armor white and bright and shiny. And you know, because you kind of like weld out of the white, now Pulled out a sword.

Speaker 1 41:04

Galen, this is the worst thing that you could have done to my armor. It's trash. I can't wear this.

Speaker 2 41:11

Galen starts crying Like a child who's been admonished? Riley's never actually Seen him cry. Galen gets a little teared up. He's like I really meant well, hey, big guy, riley, it's okay, I can fix it. I can fix anything. I hand her the dye brush I was using Riley, make it better. I'm going to go up to Weldar and be like, don't push it with him. He's on the edge. Yeah, thunderblade might come out no problem.

Speaker 2 41:50

I meant because you were going to break down crying no, I want Thunderblade to come out, because it's like suddenly all of Galen's goodness is gone.

Speaker 1 41:56

Weldar doesn't appreciate his gift that's what I think of your gift. He takes the the breastplate like, tosses it into like a muck pool great, you're just gonna be a big fat naked man.

Speaker 2 42:11

Now does he really do that? Yeah, I kill him, guys, I I think I think galenen's very bewildered, because he really put his heart into this.

Speaker 1 42:27

I'm not Weldar the White.

Speaker 2 42:31

You could be something different. You don't Just Weldar, now Just Weldar. Just call me Dar, just call me. Dar. Okay, I'm going to go work at State Farm now.

Speaker 1 42:44

Wow.

Speaker 2 42:44

Maybe Enterprise Rental Car. They've got a great management program. Just Wilder. Now, In that moment we witness Wilder pulling on khakis. He puts khaki pants on. He's like fastened. No, no, he clips on the tie. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 43:00

He puts on his Wally's and Waffles, wally's and waffles, wally's waffles and work shirt.

Speaker 2 43:07

I forgot he had that. Yeah, he does have that.

Speaker 1 43:10

I don't want to. I don't want to be a guy in white armor. That's not me, Okay. That's like way too much of a statement and I'm not wearing that marbled obscene monstrosity, okay.

Speaker 2 43:27

I can dye it black again if you want. I mean, I'm an excellent dyer. That's the face Galen makes. He doesn't know how to express that. He's excellent. He's obviously not excellent, really, really, sell it. I'm going to collect the armor and put it in my wagon Slightly used. Wrap it up, put it in my wagon.

Speaker 1 43:54

He tells you not to, he says just leave it in there. Look, you're not selling it.

Speaker 2 44:01

I'm not going to sell it, we're not going to sell it. I'm not going to sell it. My intention is to I have furiously repair it is to upgrade it. Yeah, stronger, better, faster. Maybe we can do like gray, maybe he'll be OK with like a moderate gallon Shit.

Speaker 1 44:19

I said well, see that.

Speaker 2 44:26

Like I literally just get some breakfast and like I'm just'm just gonna take the armor, put it in like a rucksack and load it into the wagon like start, make a big rushing fb turtle waxing her.

Speaker 1 44:34

Yeah, it's all about the turtle wax so welder is like wearing a t-shirt and shorts.

Speaker 2 44:41

He's like overnight he developed a fizzy wig. Gut, it's like a beer gut, but like it just works that fast Carbonation.

Speaker 1 44:52

He's like unshaven.

Speaker 2 44:55

I kind of love this idea that he's becoming slovenly. He's like fat Thor, yeah, yeah, yeah, he's 100% like fat Thor, like he's, that's. You know, he's lost the fire, the thunder, if you will yeah, get some Norks, noodles or something that actually sounds really good wait, when did Weldar become so cool as he thinks? That Weldar become so cool as he thinks that Weldar's cool right.

Speaker 2 45:26

Yeah, she's never been more unattracted to Weldar. Wow, kind of lost his ambition there, not becoming yeah, but he's a lot more fun to hang out with now. I mean he's not like being a jerk. I say, uh, hey, weldar, maybe they got some noodles in Camp Mudbank you wanna wanna go check it out?

Speaker 1 45:52

yeah, I'm game yeah.

Speaker 2 45:58

I'm game. Yeah, man, weldar is long, golden, like locks, it's like slick back. You know it's got the surfer vibe. I hear as I turn around, I hear like another and like a fizzy whiz opens hey, you gotta, you gotta slow down on those in a dungeon, like he's gonna be ordering a pizza. It's gonna show up inopportune time. Yeah, oh, it's my bad. No, it's, that's for me.

Speaker 1 46:33

Has anyone got any money? That's funny.

Speaker 2 46:36

Yeah, I've got it. Yeah, it's like use our copper pouches for his pizza addiction. Right, pizza's canon in our copper pouches for his pizza addiction.

Speaker 1 46:43

Right.

Speaker 2 46:44

Pizza's canon in Land of Eam. Right, we haven't decided it's called pie. It's called pie. Oh, that's right, it's called pie. Go get a pie. Get it from Paisano. Paisano, he's a wizard. Before the great fizzy whiz cleansing, paisano was the great wizard who invented pie.

Speaker 1 47:08

The great Paisano.

Speaker 2 47:13

I am the great Paisano, you are welcome in any of my 12 establishments located across the Muggles. What if we? What if it was from a bygone era? One of my six hexes that you guys promised to give me at this point it's going to be an ancient, bombed-out Paisanos that's from a bygone generation, you wonder. This has been here for hundreds of years. How long has Paisanos existed? How old is it really?

Speaker 1 47:45

No, you tell me you own the hex.

Speaker 2 47:49

I own the hex, it's my hex I own the hex, I'm going to do it Submit a 40-page treatment on my six hexes.

Speaker 1 48:01

So you guys heading to Camp Mud Bay? Yeah, we're heading to Camp Mud Bay. Thank you for re-angling us here.

Speaker 2 48:07

Roll it, Georgie, Roll it Donnie. You see me rolling on my. Segway. That's an 11. You know what? I'm just going to use a quest point.

Speaker 1 48:24

Well, do you want a resource or do you want a discovery?

Speaker 2 48:32

I think a resource would be helpful. Discovery no resource is good. Actually, with an 11, ben remind me it's just a nine to 11 is like a safe trip, no excitement. But I can get a resource I can. You can search for something I will. Yeah, let me search along the way. Like it's, it's not like a good, like it's a weird kind of search because I'm just like looking along the side of the road as we roll into Camp Mudbank seeing if anything has fallen off someone's wagon. Wilderness check.

Speaker 1 49:07

You can take it however you want.

Speaker 2 49:11

It's a niner.

Speaker 1 49:15

Cool, cool.

Speaker 2 49:20

So yeah, I'll let you handle that are we in the quagmash or are we still in used to be forest?

Speaker 1 49:30

uh, yeah, you're quagmash actually, yeah, okay, so you roll into camp mud bank, which is um, into Camp Mudbank, which is sort of a seedy-looking trading camp with tents, and immediately you see there's like orches just dwelling side-by-side with goblins, boggarts. We got some dorgs. It's a very cosmopolitan place in an enemy.

The Unexpected Friends: A Crab Rack Unleashed

Speaker 2 50:09

Yeah, Sorry, James. Do you want gather materials or herbs? I think you got materials right. Yeah, materials would be good because we need to save up for the flying machine. Yeah, we need 31. Six materials.

Speaker 1 50:33

Nice. As you stroll through, you hear many sounds. You hear like hooting and hollering from a gambling house down the way, and then you see an outdoor boxing ring where people are striding together. Yeah, there are some yell jacks in town and you also hear some bestial roars coming from farther away.

Speaker 2 51:03

Tiger roars.

Speaker 1 51:08

Sure.

Speaker 2 51:11

Cool, that's cool. We got a Cairn crystal, cool Cairn crystal. Oh, now we have two cairn crystals. Um, it's, it's beautiful. I love this like wild west, not wild west, wild mash town, frontier, frontierzy. Yeah, uh, I'll look around for signs of the dwarves that, uh, we found or ran into the other day, yesterday.

Speaker 1 51:51

You see some dwarves at a sort of vendor tent. You're actually not sure. They all look very similar. You're actually not sure.

Speaker 2 52:02

They all look very similar. It's like we don't want to be those people, but we're having trouble telling them apart. We'll just wander around dwarves until the dwarves themselves recognize who we are yeah. Just keep walking in front of them. Are you the dwarf? Good thing, we are very distinct.

Speaker 1 52:30

One of the dwarves says in what do we call the common tongue, esperanto? Galactic basic.

Speaker 2 52:42

Oh, okay.

Speaker 1 52:46

Is that just the term that we use?

Speaker 2 52:48

Eames, common tongue. I don't know that I ever recall writing common tongue. Yeah, that's. That seems like it could have a. Really where does?

Speaker 1 53:04

the seat of all, the cradle of all intellect, in Land of Eam Intellect yeah. Is it Eppley? I don't know. I mean, that was a height of it. Yeah, right If that was the height. Maybe everyone speaks Appolitan Appolitan.

Speaker 2 53:22

Everyone speaks.

Speaker 1 53:23

Italian, it's just forgotten, but it's remembered because everyone speaks it. Speak, eem.

Speaker 2 53:37

Eemian Eemies.

Speaker 1 53:39

Eem, eemies, eem, I mean there's gloom tongue, eem tongue, eem tongue.

Speaker 2 53:49

Maybe everyone in the Mucklin speaks like Muck tongue.

Speaker 1 53:53

Hey, you speak Muck tongue. Yeah, I speak some Muck tongue, you know I do.

Speaker 2 53:57

Yeah, and then the Dwerg speak Dwerg tongue. Dwergs, yaljaks have like Yaljak tongue.

Speaker 1 54:06

Middle tongue Middle tongue, yeah.

Speaker 2 54:08

And then there's like things that are from the under. Lens is like undertongue.

Speaker 1 54:15

You speak overtongue.

Speaker 2 54:17

Yeah, it's all relative right. Like the undertongue, people think that it's overtongue.

Speaker 1 54:23

There's just several different tongues, all for the same, all describing the same language, all of them just.

Speaker 2 54:30

They all just translate into Esperanto that everyone speaks Right.

Speaker 1 54:37

Alright, anyway, they speak your language. It says no, looky-loos.

Speaker 2 54:46

We're looking for some friends of ours. We helped them wrangle a tiger.

Speaker 1 54:50

No looky-loos Buy or buy.

Speaker 2 54:56

What are they selling?

Speaker 1 54:58

What are you selling?

Speaker 2 54:59

What are you buying?

Speaker 1 55:03

They've got all types of adventuring gear.

Speaker 2 55:09

That is obviously not the same Dwarg as yesterday.

Speaker 1 55:14

Seems like it. This guy's speaking. The guy yesterday didn't speak any Dwarg.

Speaker 2 55:19

Yeah, I mean he didn't speak any Overtongue yesterday. The guys we ran into didn't speak any Dwerg. I mean they didn't speak any Overtongue yesterday, the guys we were ran into.

Speaker 1 55:28

I say, Riley, I don't think these are the guys, but we should look at their stuff.

Speaker 2 55:30

We're looking for lumber.

Speaker 1 55:33

They kind of confer amongst themselves, Say I could get you a deal.

Speaker 2 55:40

Okay, do we want to deal with these guys or do we want to find the Dwergs? We helped Both. I figured we could get an idea of that stuff. How much is what I wanted to know? Okay, like a price match comparison.

Speaker 1 56:03

Erga, erga when price Erga, erga.

Speaker 2 56:06

Where's Erga? Points down the way all right, I'll give him the thumbs up and head down the way say.

Speaker 1 56:16

Erga is he from Ergagerg.

Speaker 2 56:17

Is that the place it was? Olmagerg, ergagerg, ergagerg, olmagerg, erg, ergagerg, ergagerg. No, yeah, galen just can't remember these different tongues. You know, he only speaks Frog tongue. Yeah, I only speak dummy thick. Okay, that's all I do.

Speaker 1 56:41

All right, you go over to where he pointed. There's a dwerg lady named Erga Molchak.

Speaker 2 56:51

Erga Molchak, erga Molchak, erga Molchak, erga Molchak.

Speaker 1 56:56

Says uh, you want a deal Hmm.

Speaker 2 57:01

We do. We're also looking for someone who A pair of dwarves that were wrangling a used to be tiger.

Speaker 1 57:18

Jocko.

Speaker 2 57:21

Jocko, we saved their lives. They owe us a debt, jocko. Jocko, we saved their lives.

Speaker 1 57:26

They owe us a debt. Their lives are worthless. Great, not to them, that's true. But I guess Take it up with them.

Speaker 2 57:38

Yeah.

Speaker 1 57:39

Okay, do you?

Speaker 2 57:39

know where they are.

Speaker 1 57:42

I could take you to them, but let's talk business. Yeah, okay, do you know where they are? Hmm, I could take you to them, but let's talk business.

Speaker 2 57:48

Okay, we're looking for lumber Lumber, have a seat. It's like a non-wooden seat. I'm immediately suspicious. I sit on the ground, not seeing that there's a chair right beside me.

Speaker 1 58:03

There isn't really a chair. It's like there's a bunch of hides and furs and stuff on the ground. A table and one of her servants comes and pours some drinks. Oh, blue milk Looks like some sweet-smelling liquid. Have some all blue milk. Looks like some sweet smelling liquid. Have some Piping hot maple syrup.

Speaker 2 58:29

Alright, I'll go ahead and I'll make the constitution check. What are you going to make us do Nothing? No, galen's going to make the check anyways Because he's paranoid about it. So he's vitality. George, as a PC, is going to make the check anyways Because he's paranoid about it, so it's a vitality. George, as a PC, is used to being poisoned by everyone.

Speaker 1 58:47

Yeah.

Speaker 2 58:50

What do we do for the Hot Hodge challenge Vitality?

On the Road Again: Heading to Mucklin Harbor

Speaker 1 58:55

I think so. Yeah, both of you roll vitality with disadvantage. Oh my gosh. Yes, oh, I fail, I mean yes, oh.

Speaker 2 59:04

I fail. I mean that's a five. I might use a quest point. If it helps our bartering, I use a quest point. It's a six. I have a three.

Speaker 1 59:19

Okay, she says lumber, how much is she looking for All?

Speaker 2 59:29

of it. Oh, enough to repair a ship. That is about a seafaring vessel. We start doing with our arms like that. If I recall, noggin bought a ship but it needed to be repaired. Didn't he buy, like an old Felmog ship or something crazy? Yeah, yeah, I think so. Yeah, I say it's. It's an old, it's an old galleon. Yeah, it's a old.

Speaker 1 1:00:03

It's an old galleon. Yeah, it's a galleon.

Speaker 2 1:00:04

I say it's galleon-sized it's one galleon.

Speaker 1 1:00:09

That's a lot of lumber.

Speaker 2 1:00:12

Well it is. We don't play around, you'll have to deal with the orches.

Speaker 1 1:00:17

Galen looks at Riley for this accent.

Speaker 2 1:00:20

It's ridiculous. I love it. Yar, the orches. Wait, we have to deal with the Orches. Yes, tell me something.

Speaker 1 1:00:33

Is Sklunch still Big Orch Duh.

Speaker 2 1:00:39

He's a fool. Quagmosh is collapsed while we were away. Elberry Barryton has gone full feral. It's like Kurtz, that's like the second time in apocalypse. Now, yeah, yeah, reference, yeah yeah, heart of darkness yeah, talorch is making a push oh, I'm so tickled that we would go back to secure Sklunches like seat on the throne. Yeah, I mean clearly we're going to back slunch.

Speaker 1 1:01:10

Yeah, riley, you pass. Oh my God, I'm so excited I pass out Like mid-conversation.

Speaker 2 1:01:17

Yeah, we'll do whatever it is you got.

Speaker 1 1:01:19

Galen, you're starting to feel weird. I got a six, I got a six. I got a six.

Speaker 2 1:01:25

We've been poisoned. You're starting to feel weird. I hear suddenly like, oh, I feel so good.

Speaker 1 1:01:35

Two strong dwarves come up behind you and grab you by the shoulders.

Speaker 2 1:01:41

No, hey, no, hey, hey, let me go.

Speaker 1 1:01:47

I'm.

Speaker 2 1:01:47

Thunder Blade. I'm Thunder Blade. Riley, get up. Can I use a quest point to feed of strength these guys off me? Or is it inevitable that I'm going to succumb to this?

Speaker 1 1:02:03

You could try. Okay, say that, given your state, you're minus two.

Speaker 2 1:02:13

Actually, can I try to commanding presence them off of me instead? Intimidate them away? Sure, or are you thinking like do you want?

Speaker 1 1:02:39

to penalize it because, like my faculties, aren't all there. Um, i'm'm gonna do a roll off gotta roll off their boss is right in front of them yeah, they don't want to like.

Speaker 2 1:02:50

Look like schmucks. Ooh, here we go. Yes, what's at 14?

Speaker 1 1:03:01

all right, they get off me, and then they just like kind of back away.

Speaker 2 1:03:07

I'm Thunderblade.

Speaker 1 1:03:09

Um Urga says get back here. What are you doing?

Speaker 2 1:03:14

No, stay away. Uh, she has a knife.

Speaker 1 1:03:20

Don't make this hard.

Speaker 2 1:03:25

I was gonna say something Ooh, she has a knife, don't make this hard. I was gonna say something that would have been bad given the context of the situation. I say, uh, that's exactly what you've done, and I pull out my axe. Let's strike a deal. We're about to strike something. What'd you give us?

Speaker 1 1:03:44

Sorry about that, Are you? But uh, I'm in a bind and I need some fighters.

Speaker 2 1:04:00

I kind of lean a little bit on my axe to steady myself and I say I could have just asked us.

Speaker 1 1:04:06

You do me a favor and I'll get you the lumber.

Speaker 2 1:04:13

Ben, let's back up real quick. So from the meta, there's also the alternative of going to the quagmash and helping Sklunch for lumber. Or is that me reading too much into that?

Speaker 1 1:04:25

Yeah, I mean that's reading way too much. She just said, like you'll have to deal with the orches because the orches just are so prevalent in Quagmash. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 1:04:37

I say, all right, all right, fine Lumber in exchange for our sword arms, axe arm, good, good, that is good.

Speaker 1 1:04:53

Tell us more about the deal.

Speaker 2 1:04:56

I keep shaking Riley and she just doesn't wake up.

Speaker 1 1:04:59

It will wear off in an hour.

Speaker 2 1:05:03

Sorry, what now?

Speaker 1 1:05:05

Me. No, yeah, I didn't hear what you said. I'm sorry, it'll wear off in an hour.

Speaker 2 1:05:09

Oh, okay, I say that's fine, she needs to rest. She's been working too hard. She's a great fighter, you see.

Speaker 1 1:05:19

You'll be fighting in the beast pit For entertainment.

Speaker 2 1:05:30

Great. Well, then she better get her sleep.

Speaker 1 1:05:36

You can pick from the equipment at the arena.

Speaker 2 1:05:41

We can't bring our own equipment.

Speaker 1 1:05:51

You'll want some of this.

Speaker 2 1:05:56

It's like a bunch of oils to rub on our skin like gladiators.

Speaker 1 1:05:59

She tells you to follow her rub on her skin like gladiators, um, she tells you to follow her.

Speaker 2 1:06:08

I sling Riley over my shoulder and I follow. I drool all over him. Now sweat it's down my back. It got inside my armor. I don't know how she got it inside my armor. It's like literally between my skin and the shirt underneath. I don't know how she got it inside my armor. It's like literally between my skin and the shirt underneath. I don't know. This is terrible.

Speaker 1 1:06:29

She walks you over to the area the beast pit it's like this, you know, gladiatorial pit and she opens a hatch, a locked hatch, and you guys walk down into this dungeness area. That's crab. Yeah, you see a dungeness crab.

Speaker 2 1:06:51

Mm-hmm. You see a crab rack, mm-hmm, it's all seafood-themed, as far as I can see.

Speaker 1 1:06:58

No, there actually is a crab rack in a cell.

Speaker 2 1:07:01

Mm-hmm.

Speaker 1 1:07:03

Who snarls at you as you pass.

Speaker 2 1:07:05

I ain't afraid of no crab rack.

Speaker 1 1:07:09

Yeah, here's your cell. Wait, we're gladiators.

Speaker 2 1:07:16

What? No, we're gladiators, dude. I said no, we're going to go do our stuff and you just let us know when you need us.

Speaker 1 1:07:27

This is the waiting room.

Speaker 2 1:07:31

I can wait right here it doesn't feel like a waiting room. Yeah, I'm fine, right here. It's part of the deal.

Speaker 1 1:07:40

You're blocking the way. It is very close quarters.

Speaker 2 1:07:44

Thanks, Skinny. All right, fine, Leave the cell door open though.

Speaker 1 1:07:50

If you leave the deal's off.

Speaker 2 1:07:53

I won't leave. I don't like being caged. Leave the door open. I'll lean on the door from inside the cell. Very well, the door from inside the cell. Very well. It's like actually a bad idea because terrible things are in the hallway all the time. It's like actually for my protection. I don't realize this.

Speaker 2 1:08:15

I'm like absentmindedly snuggling in the corner with a bunch of straw, still asleep. Yeah, you kind of like there's a football sized rat, it's like sniffing you and you just kind of snuggle it like a dog or something. It doesn't know what to do.

Speaker 1 1:08:31

It's never been held like this before galen, you spend, you know, another half an hour down here and, uh, you start to hear commotion, just like like a lot of crowd noises from outside. Yeah, and Riley, you wake up to an emcee like kind of announcing today's matches, so you wake up in a cell and you have no idea what's going on. Matches, so you wake up in a cell and you have no idea what's going on.

Speaker 2 1:09:08

Galen Riley here, oil yourself up. And I hand her like I didn't want to do it. It'd be weird if I did it to you. It's like all these weird gladiator weapons around.

Speaker 1 1:09:19

Yeah, you've got like a Conan-like arm. Yeah, riley totally changes into like she's got like pauldrons weapons around. They've got a Conan arm with spikes.

Speaker 2 1:09:25

Riley totally changes into pauldrons up the ear Like a chainmail coyote. A net and a trident Like a man catcher. I love it. Riley doesn't ask any questions. Is this for the lumber?

Speaker 1 1:09:41

Got it. I love it. Riley doesn't ask any questions. Yeah, is this for the lumber got?

Speaker 2 1:09:47

it. It's for the lumber alright.

Speaker 1 1:09:51

So you guys have options with armor. You can. You can put on like really heavy armor and get three block, but it will reduce, give you disadvantage on all movement checks Like even athletics just running around yeah.

Speaker 2 1:10:16

I'm not going to do that. I don't think so, ben. Are we essentially giving up all of our normal gear, like that's the the premise of this, like I mean not forever, obviously, but like just we have to use the gladiatorial gear? Yeah okay, um, so there's the plus three block disadvantage armor versus there. Was there like a less block, more dexterous armor?

Speaker 1 1:10:51

Yes, there's a one block minus one, two such movement skills.

Speaker 2 1:11:03

Okay, I think I'll go with that and and as my ability, my armor wearing ability still apply to this armor, like where I always get a one block from it, like in addition to okay, um, that's cool, I think I'll take that armor. I don't want to be too disadvantaged when we're getting like run down by a rancor um, and then you can roll a random magnificent weapon of your choice amazing in terms of choice being like.

Speaker 1 1:11:41

Is it a polearm blade?

Speaker 2 1:11:43

yeah, yeah, uh, how many uh? Is it d12 right?

Speaker 1 1:11:57

uh, it depends, like what. Uh, which one do you want?

Speaker 2 1:12:03

Oh, okay, yeah, we should um you want a blade.

Speaker 1 1:12:09

You want range, blunt, pull arm. I'm like a whip Frozen, frozen.

Speaker 2 1:12:31

I think he is. That's the first time he's ever frozen he is actually frozen.

Speaker 1 1:12:37

I thought he was just looking.

Speaker 2 1:12:41

That would be a. That would be a. Well, while Georgie figures his stuff out, what do you want?

Speaker 1 1:12:50

I think I might go heaviest actually, in terms of armor, yeah, what about a weapon? I'm going to go polearm, roll a d12. Here it comes.

Speaker 2 1:13:09

Whoops, sorry, nine.

Speaker 1 1:13:15

Parry Super combat negate a counterattack, that's good, that is good. Combat negate a counterattack, that's good, that is good. Where is Georgie boy? I guess his internet went down.

Speaker 2 1:13:32

Three block, you say, and minus three to movement stuff.

Speaker 1 1:13:39

Disadvantage Disadvantage Okay.

Speaker 2 1:13:50

Because I figure, you know, I figure I would use some pick on your own size, so like I could draw stuff from Georgie in this case. Yeah, let's see how George is doing. Well, George's internet's down.

Speaker 1 1:14:21

Oh, here he is. I think he's coming in hot, he's coming in hot.

Speaker 2 1:14:30

Look at that From his mobile device. Battlefield Georgie.

Speaker 1 1:14:36

It's muted.

Speaker 2 1:14:40

Hey, sorry guys. Yeah, I just didn't want to have any feedback on the stream. Can you hear me okay?

Speaker 1 1:14:45

Yeah.

Speaker 2 1:14:46

Alright, let's do this. I don't know. My internet is ridiculous. It was only a matter of time before this eventually happened on stream. Can you roll for a short sword?

Speaker 1 1:14:57

for me. Yeah, sorry, what were you saying, short sword? I'm just saying it's good this didn't happen with your hardcore Diablo character that's all.

Speaker 2 1:15:09

I think the first thing. I thought I was like George. I did something atypical. I went the heaviest armor polearm. Do you like this little tank?

Speaker 1 1:15:25

Yes, your nimbleness is pretty good though right, my nimbleness is pretty decent.

Speaker 2 1:15:29

It's plus one. I'm going to use things like pick on someone your own size and just drawing things away Amazing.

Speaker 1 1:15:43

Amazing. So, George, you got a light short sword. You said yeah, so that is once per combat attack twice in a round.

Speaker 2 1:15:57

Okay, Cool, cool, cool, cool cool.

Speaker 1 1:16:02

All right, you guys see the crab rack get called out and go into the pit. It doesn't come back, oh gosh.

Speaker 2 1:16:13

One crab enters, no crabs leave. Wow, I'm going to work on my router while we're talking.

Speaker 1 1:16:23

You hear just cacophonous cheers and gasps and the whole gamut of emotions. Actually, the crab rack is crowned the winner of that match. Wild stuff, here he comes back and his eyes stalks like look at you, as he is just covered in viscera.

Speaker 2 1:16:57

I'm going to give him a Roman salute Like him, like a Roman salute.

Speaker 1 1:17:09

And he just shuffles back into his cage.

Speaker 2 1:17:12

This is all. The crab rack knows it's like since birth. The gladiatorial arena.

Speaker 1 1:17:21

And then you guys are called in. You're up, make me proud.

Speaker 2 1:17:30

I'm up.

Speaker 1 1:17:33

Whatever happens, give them a good show.

Speaker 2 1:17:37

We need to break all the prisoners out or revolt against these guys. Lose Georgian.

Speaker 1 1:17:48

Can you hear?

Speaker 2 1:17:49

me Kind of let's see if I navigate. Oh lord, Is it still bad? Seems fine for the second second for the moment. Yeah, yeah, I think it's when I navigate away from stream yard and minimize it to try to look up my character sheet, doesn't agree?

Speaker 1 1:18:14

that's fine, I have most of my numbers, all right, well, um, you guys are brought out and you, you've been in the dark long enough for the eye, this the sun to like hurt your eyes as you step into the middle of the pit and you? You just look up. You see just all around you a crowd of rep scallions just shouting and like tossing things into the pit, laughing. Uh, one guy actually just falls into the pit. What?

Speaker 2 1:18:55

what happens to him, ben? I mean, can you describe it? Oh, he's not moving. I'm gonna yell at him, yeah are you not entertained? Yeah, you see, uh, two guys fall, jump in the pit after that guy and for a moment you think they're gonna rescue him. But they're just rifling through his pockets and like stealing his stuff and they jump back over the wall to get out of it um, and then the the doors, the big metal gate across from you opens and a chimera comes out oh my gosh, I almost said something really terrible.

Speaker 2 1:19:37

I don't have old chums, otherwise I would use it hey I know that guy yeah um, let me pause for a second and rejoin on my computer. Cool, oh, here's where I wish I was level 10. I could take uh, old chums again, old chummy chums. You hear me okay.

Speaker 1 1:20:02

Mm-hmm.

Speaker 2 1:20:03

Alright, let's do this. Let's see how long this internet lasts, for Hardcore character's still alive.

Speaker 1 1:20:10

Galen is a hardcore character.

Speaker 2 1:20:11

Galen is a hardcore character. You know, you only live once with these dummy thick thighs.

Speaker 1 1:20:18

So yeah, you guys are face-to-face with this roaring chimera. It's got the lion head, it's got the lion head. It's got a goat head, it's got a snake tail.

Speaker 2 1:20:28

Look at that goat head, I think. I think the goat head doesn't get nearly enough credit, like it's always kind of this googly eyed knucklehead. But what if the goats really run the show and the lion is just the dumb one? Sure, yeah, I'm just saying we never think about these things it's our lives, you know it's horrible. It's horrible. Um, let me get back into roll 20.

Speaker 1 1:20:49

Sorry, I didn't realize it wasn't in there roll event earl 20 um yeah, so you guys are just thrust into uh conflict with this chimera. Who's you know? Your job is to slay each other we.

Speaker 2 1:21:05

I look up in the stands and I see welder with like a six pack of fizzy whiz.

Speaker 1 1:21:12

He's not just like some like ballpark nachos.

Speaker 2 1:21:15

Yeah, he's like. Yeah, come on, riley. His wally's waffles of Wargs t-shirt has stains on it, but they're from yesterday.

Speaker 1 1:21:25

He's actually surprised. He didn't know where you guys went off to and he drops his nachos.

Speaker 2 1:21:32

What? And then he says and then he's like my nachos.

Speaker 1 1:21:43

You see him digging on the ground.

Speaker 2 1:21:47

He immediately blames me. Riley's more disturbed by that in that moment than she is about the monster that's right next to them. None of us care about the chimera. We're just like Welder, my nachos.

Speaker 1 1:22:01

Alright, the chimera kind of prowls towards you circling the arena. What do you do?

Speaker 2 1:22:12

I say, riley, back to back, Go back to back. I guess that's only if we're surrounded, we still go back to back anyways. And we're not sure how this works.

Speaker 1 1:22:22

Pretending like we know what we're doing, we still go back to back anyways, and we're not sure how this works, pretending like we know what we're doing. Yeah, um.

Speaker 2 1:22:30

Is the chimera free? Is it like chained up at all?

Speaker 1 1:22:36

It's chained by the the haunch but it's like a long loose chain.

Speaker 2 1:22:47

Okay, galen, I'm. I'm thinking that the people that are running this thing are awful. Galen's meanwhile trying to pump up the crowd.

Speaker 1 1:23:03

Thunderblade, thunderblade.

Speaker 2 1:23:09

Alright, I'm going to use and see that one of the links on the chain is rusty and might be weak, Like it might be possible to break that link and free the Camara. Oh, this is another. Who is it? Linda the Manticore? It's exactly the same situation. I'm going to free him. He's gonna fly to the blunder bluffs because I can't I can't be party to these, to these monsters that are yeah us fight for the crowd. This is insane, so like I'm gonna, do you want the lumber?

Speaker 2 1:23:45

though you want the lumber but we're, we're gonna find a way to get the lumber.

Speaker 1 1:23:50

One way or another.

Speaker 2 1:23:51

This isn't worth it. I'm going to pull a Riley, yeah. Riley clues me in the plan and I nod in agreement. Galen's in.

Speaker 1 1:24:00

Well, let's see if it's true.

Speaker 2 1:24:02

No, no, no, Let me pep talk it. Hold on, don't roll it yet. I mean inspiring order. It's close. I do it. Get plus two to an ally's check before it's rolled. Okay, that puts me at plus three Eleven. I'll take it.

Speaker 1 1:24:26

There's a rusty link.

Speaker 2 1:24:31

I called shot Rear back with my javelin. That comes out of nowhere and I threw it right through the link and it breaks I hurled a thunderbolt at it. Yeah, should we move to initiative? We should. I'm looking at my ability odds. So the question is, james, do we want to try not to attack this thing, but just go for the chain only?

Speaker 2 1:24:58

I was going to go straight for the chain because, the creature would notice that we didn't attack it. We went straight for the chain. Yeah yeah, I'm thinking we don't harm it at all if we can avoid it. Yeah, yeah, so this is not going to be good content for their gladiatorial stream. I like that. Yeah yeah, I'm thinking we don't harm it at all if we can avoid it. Yeah, yeah, so this is not going to be good content for their gladiatorial stream, but for us it's the right thing to do.

Speaker 1 1:25:22

No Gladiatorial stream. Yeah yeah, kind of like people in bog town lives like watching the live stream.

Speaker 2 1:25:29

Yeah.

Speaker 1 1:25:31

It's like suddenly.

Speaker 2 1:25:32

Yeah, suddenly, there's technology. That it's. That's. The only magic that remains is pay-per-view, the magic of pay-per-view, wow Gosh.

Speaker 1 1:25:42

It's pay-per-view. You're literally it's literally looking at magic paper Like scrolls that you unfurl, yeah.

Speaker 2 1:25:49

Which one is a thousand gold.

Speaker 1 1:25:50

Yeah, there's like Well unfurl. Yeah, which one is a thousand gold? Yeah, there's like well, like one is one frame, so you have to like have a giant stack and you're like, yeah, what's next?

Speaker 2 1:25:57

what's next? The really?

Speaker 1 1:25:58

rich people really, really flip it yeah wait, wait go back, go back. Let me see that.

Speaker 2 1:26:06

Yeah, yeah, oh, all right, uh, enough of that, but pay-per-view. It's being broadcast across the Mucklins. Even the sorcerer at the stone is watching us.

Speaker 1 1:26:20

He's like I hate those guys. You just said enough of that and went on another like yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 1:26:29

Let me get rid of your stuff so I can get my stuff in there. I can't help myself. It's dangerous, drunk with power.

Speaker 1 1:26:40

All right, well, so you're going first.

Speaker 2 1:26:43

Yes, riley, you are also going first. Right, I want to. If you're going to go for the chain, I want to pep talk you. Is what I want my action to be. Okay, I will try to. Yeah, I'm going to go straight for the chain. Can I initiate a duel with the chain? Suddenly, the chain starts snaking itself.

Speaker 2 1:27:09

It's like impossible to hit. Yeah, I will ready myself to attack it. Alright, george, I'm going to pep talk. You Make sure you hit that Rexy chain right in the center. You'll snap right through that thing like a hot knife through butter.

Speaker 1 1:27:29

You know what I mean. This is going to work. You need to roll a 9 plus to actually hit the right link and you have to do a. You have to meet a damage threshold to break it. Right, sorry, did you guys see the one that came out hold on.

Speaker 2 1:27:53

What are you rolling? Hold on, I have to pep talk you. Would it have been advantage? Yes, oh, okay, there's one. I forgot that it wasn't just an addition to the uh. This is critical yeah, yeah. I know, roll a 12. That's above a 9. That'll do it. Yeah, I know, roll a 12. That's above a 9. That'll do it.

Speaker 1 1:28:16

That'll do it.

Speaker 2 1:28:17

That'll do it.

Speaker 1 1:28:18

That'll do pig. All right, connect.

Speaker 2 1:28:20

Let's see if you do enough damage to break it right now, the first swipe misses, but then I do this cyclone move and come back even stronger. What is the D damage?

Speaker 1 1:28:34

on.

Speaker 2 1:28:34

It is this still my regular d10. Uh, can I use this? The short sword's ability to attack twice in a round yeah okay, uh, I do D10. That's three.

Speaker 1 1:28:54

You see some flakes fly off. You made a dent. I'm doing it, I'm doing it.

Speaker 2 1:29:00

I attack again it's an 11. Could I critical this With one quest point? Yeah, I do it. I critical the chain. Critical.

Speaker 1 1:29:16

Critical.

Speaker 2 1:29:18

God bless it.

Speaker 1 1:29:22

It's not enough damage, riley, it's not working. It's not working.

Speaker 2 1:29:29

What is the threshold?

Speaker 1 1:29:31

You're like half ten, you're like halfway through it. Now the creature turns to you. Let's see.

Speaker 2 1:29:43

I go flying.

Speaker 1 1:29:46

Snake bite. The snake turns to you and just goes flying. The snake turns to you, and just goes.

Speaker 2 1:30:02

It bites itself, it's poisoned and dies. How about this? It bites one of the guards at the entryway to the Coliseum? No, okay, it bites a person in the crowd.

Speaker 1 1:30:21

I mean it's a three, so it's not a catastrophic failure. Right, right, right, right, alright. And then another attack, this time by the goat head.

Speaker 2 1:30:44

Does it do like a sonic goat scream Uses?

Speaker 1 1:30:50

its goat horns, it has advantage on this attack.

Speaker 2 1:30:54

Oh, because of the yeah, that's a critical goat horn.

Speaker 1 1:31:00

So the goat whips around and just drives its horns into your chest. Critical goat horn.

Speaker 2 1:31:16

It's not a very damaging day Four to you, so I block Two because of my Armoire and I take two, so that's going to be 25 out of 23. Did I recover that One hit point I lost from the tiger overnight, yeah.

Speaker 1 1:31:34

Okay, did I recover that one hit point I lost from the tiger overnight, yeah, okay.

Speaker 2 1:31:37

I feel like that might matter.

Speaker 1 1:31:42

The goat horn attacks again. It's time a counter hit with a counter attack. You're going to counter attack.

Speaker 2 1:31:50

No, no, instead of a counterattack, can I block or something? I guess it'd be like an exchange of blows. So it's open. Maybe I can attack the chain. No, no. Yeah, that's too good.

Speaker 1 1:32:07

So five dread.

Speaker 2 1:32:09

Okay, so it takes three, and that is its turn.

Speaker 1 1:32:22

I say, you, dumb beast, we're trying to help you, you think people are getting wise to um what we're trying to do it's interesting I I forgot to read this ability that it has, but it definitely would have affected this whole thing Big boy rules.

Speaker 2 1:32:36

Now what is the ability? I'm just curious.

Speaker 1 1:32:39

It has a deafening roar, that's so loud and constant. It prevents PCs from effectively coordinating their actions and using abilities like pep talk and stuff, what we just used, oh, that's okay, I mean moving forward. I guess, yeah, moving forward. Yeah, maybe it stopped roaring.

Speaker 2 1:33:03

Oh, have you been trying to talk, James? Sorry, he's like why are?

Speaker 1 1:33:11

they.

Speaker 2 1:33:11

I don't know what I just said, even just like I just oh my gosh, yeah, so next round are you doing something other than attacking no, I should keep attacking the chain.

Speaker 2 1:33:31

I can discerning Eye something, but maybe I'll save that for the round after we break the chain. Yeah, okay, I'm going to attack the chain again. I go first, riley. Riley, I'm going to use Pick on someone your own size Once per combat. Taught an adversary to attack the loyal chum instead of her allies for two rounds, gaining minus two defense. I'm just like jump in front of me hey hey, over here Pick on someone your own size.

Speaker 1 1:34:10

Cue on this Now. Here, pick up your own size. Chew on this now. I'm open to this working, but would this fall into that category of?

Speaker 2 1:34:32

aiding allies. Well, this you don't have to coordinate it just, I'm only interacting with the yeah, with the adversary. I don't have to coordinate with ge. I'm only interacting with the adversary, I don't have to coordinate with George. It's not like he's telling me go over there. She's just waving her arms in front of the creature. I'm just trying to draw its attention, assuming George will take advantage of the situation. Yeah, take advantage of the situation. I Take advantage of the situation. I'm just saying you know I love it, oh God, I miss, oh no.

Speaker 2 1:35:08

Oh boy, it's going to be a long, two rounds, the longest.

Speaker 1 1:35:15

All right, the Chimera comes barreling towards you.

Speaker 2 1:35:18

Oh boy.

Speaker 1 1:35:19

Oh boy.

Speaker 2 1:35:27

Okay, snakebite, snakebite. Yeah, it's a popular attack with the Chimera.

Speaker 1 1:35:35

What is your defense?

Speaker 2 1:35:37

Minus one, and that includes Minus two. Perfect.

Speaker 1 1:35:42

Alright, is it plus one or minus one?

Speaker 2 1:35:46

Minus one because I'm using my power. So it's minus two.

Speaker 1 1:35:51

Alright, it misses you, you totally missed it, kind of like swings wide over the head power.

Speaker 2 1:35:53

So it's yeah, all right it misses you, you totally miss it, kind of like swings wide over the head with a yeah, and then, and then the lion's head comes in for a massive bite. Hmm, riley too nimble, in spite of your armor, you wisely move out of the way Word.

Speaker 1 1:36:15

It's a terrible idea.

Speaker 2 1:36:17

Yeah, you actually retreat like a turtle into your armor.

Speaker 1 1:36:22

The lion wasn't fooled completely and it goes after you again. Whoa, these are horrible yeah.

Speaker 2 1:36:30

I think it was like so focused on me that it spun around in an awkward manner and tried to focus everything on Riley For the last one. Riley didn't even move. She's too scared. The lion was just so angry it missed.

Speaker 1 1:36:46

It kind of stumbles forward and makes the chain taut If you can go before it, you will get advantage on your attack.

Speaker 2 1:36:54

Oh my gosh, that's a 12 to go first next round. Sorry, I assumed we were done. That was the count of the attacks. That was the count of the attacks. Alright, do it, george. Oh, thank God we rolled plus 10 with advantage. You know, if it was like that, 2 again, I would have cried a little bit inside, but let's see how much DiMaggio we do. That's actually 10 plus 2, so that's a critical. On the chain game you can do it, I can do 2 times 2 you're lucky that you got times two.

Speaker 2 1:37:34

I'm lucky that it would have been shut by one point.

Speaker 1 1:37:40

You slice through the chain and the snake is the first one to kind of say we are free, we are free, we are free, we must escape.

Speaker 2 1:37:55

Um, um, let me ask you this real quick, ben, does this end combat effectively? Cause I, I want to. I want to use an ability if it does.

Speaker 1 1:38:07

Well, the heads start arguing with each other. Um. Oh the lion roars, I want blood. And turns around towards you again.

Speaker 2 1:38:17

I'm going to yell at the lion, then fight for our freedom and I turn around and charge the door where we came in.

Speaker 1 1:38:24

Yeah, Make an inspire check.

Speaker 2 1:38:26

I love it. Oh boy, come on, you're my inspiration. Nice, I love it. This is so good. The goat and the snake overrule the lion head, I'm not strong enough to break the door, so I'm just like hammering at it. Come on, fight to the top. The goat takes initiative and like wants to ram it. In the same way, riley's banging on the door.

Speaker 1 1:38:55

Yeah, Riley, you feel like a massive blast next to you as this creature just slams the gate and crumples it and tosses it behind him. It goes flying above your head, Galen.

Speaker 2 1:39:12

That'll do it. He says go, I'm gonna run down where the crab rack is, go to the gate of his cell, give him a nod without saying anything and open it.

Speaker 1 1:39:28

The chimera, meanwhile, like leap climbs up the wall, like everyone gasps and like runs.

Speaker 2 1:39:38

Weldar looks up from his nachos and sees it crawling over, yeah, he spills his fizzy whiz and he's like oh my fizzy whiz.

Speaker 1 1:39:49

Now some guards spill out of the dungeon and they've got like bone bows and arrows and like are shooting after the Camara and the Camara Meanwhile. It's like flinging people into the air Spectators.

Speaker 2 1:40:05

It's amazing Thank. Thankfully, everyone in this town is like a crappy person.

Speaker 1 1:40:10

We don't feel. We don't feel bad at all, nothing for these people. Yeah, Um Riley, you see the dwarves that you saw, like the ones that you met with, that used to be Tiger, and they're next to the tiger in its cage, just like looking at you guys in horror.

Speaker 2 1:40:29

I'm going to look at them like wide-eyed, like Conan, and be like, pointing at them like I'm coming. We at them like wide-eyed, like Conan, and be like pointing at them like I'm coming, we say we say Jocko, because I think that's one of the guy's names. Yeah, yeah yeah no, no, yes, yes this is all under false pretenses. You're capturing creatures, people, making them fight each other. It's insane.

Speaker 1 1:40:58

The crab rack comes out of its cage and starts hitting guards, chopping their swords in half. That's amazing. In the fracas, can we retrieve our gear? Yeah, feels good to put on the old stuff do we get to keep this stuff as you were? I'm just going to toss mine aside as you're getting your gear. You see, erga, she's going.

Speaker 2 1:41:31

You broke the deal, you're darn right, we did no amount of lumber is worth this Getting your gear you see Urga, she's going.

Speaker 1 1:41:38

You broke the deal. You're darn right. We did. No amount of lumber is worth this.

Speaker 2 1:41:40

You'll never escape that mud rake alive, neither will you Huh.

Speaker 1 1:41:45

Before you can do anything, the crab rack snatches her. She goes.

Speaker 2 1:41:52

I flee. I run from the chaos. This is going to take care of itself. We got to get out of here. You're like a Wilhelm scream as we exit.

Speaker 1 1:42:10

Yeah, there are just tons of other creatures. There's a curdle snail.

Speaker 2 1:42:14

That's like going through the hallways yeah, it's all very uh reminiscent of the um last scene in space balls when they're trying to escape space ball one, when you're living in a bubble and you haven't got no air Baseballs Just ends with Urga being mulled by a bear.

Speaker 1 1:42:43

Yeah, alright, tell me what your escape looks like. What are you going to do with Welnar?

Speaker 2 1:42:55

He's still eaten, isn't he? So I'm gonna. I'm like it's chaos, like people are jumping, creatures are flying, whatever. Like I'm running up the stairs, I'm gonna grab welder by the shirt, which is now covered with nacho cheese, and be like we gotta get out of here. This is gonna sort itself out.

Speaker 1 1:43:17

You see that he's holding someone's sword with blood on it. You're not sure how he had that.

Speaker 2 1:43:21

But when we find him I'm gonna slap it out of his hand like it's a coke. Come on, we find him at the concession stand pumping nacho cheese into his mouth. Wow, the fall of Weldar that's. Find him at the concession stand like putting pumping like nacho cheese into his mouth wow, the fall of welder. That's taking place, spiraling yeah, he's like chunk from the goonies, yeah guys, god, I love it, it's good, it's good and uh, you know the crab.

Speaker 2 1:43:55

There's like a portcullis coming down the crab rack like catches it, and he's like hey, you guys wow everybody's running underneath as he holds it up oh god, it's so good, comes following.

Speaker 1 1:44:08

Yeah, he's gonna live with you now.

Speaker 2 1:44:10

Yeah, hey he can join the party. That's fine with me. Everyone freaks out he's going to live with you now. Yeah, he can join the party. That's fine with me. Everyone freaks out when he approaches and we're like no, no, he's our friend.

Speaker 1 1:44:16

Yeah, he's cool, he's cool.

Speaker 2 1:44:20

Crab Rack looks right in. Yeah, crab Rack looks right into the camera and says our friend, I'm adding him to the party. Zona Imbach, meanwhile, has been like sitting atop the Announcer's booth in the Gladiatorial ring just writing all this down.

Speaker 1 1:44:43

Yeah, it's great. It's a great story. Thanks man. Alright, you run to the outskirts of town.

Speaker 2 1:44:55

The crab rack follows you Name is Crab Rangoon.

Speaker 1 1:45:05

His name is Rangoonie.

Speaker 2 1:45:09

I love it, rangoonie.

Speaker 1 1:45:17

Come on Rangoonie. Come on Rangoonie, let's get out of here. Yeah, where are you going?

Speaker 2 1:45:28

Make a travel check and start going from Mucklin Harbor yeah, I guess just getting out of here. I mean, do we give up on a lumber? We still got a lumber. Make a travel check and start going from Mucklin Harbor yeah, I guess just getting out of here.

Speaker 1 1:45:36

Do we give up on a lumber?

Speaker 2 1:45:37

We still got a lumber. We do need a lumber, but I feel like we should leave Camp Mudbank. Maybe we can source it once we get there.

Speaker 1 1:45:42

Yeah, Alright, make a travel check 12.

Speaker 2 1:45:49

Nice.

Speaker 1 1:45:54

I fish, I fish. I've been rolling good today actually. Yeah, you have.

Speaker 2 1:45:57

Riley's on fire. 43. That shrimp is on fire 40, 43, 40, 43.

Speaker 1 1:46:09

Lordy 40, g, Gordy 3. There's a lot of dwergs today.

Speaker 2 1:46:18

It's perfect this is the largest concentration of dwergs outside of the theater.

Speaker 1 1:46:26

Yeah, you come upon a dwerg who's struggling to pull his one-galope pack animal out of a mud pit.

Speaker 2 1:46:36

Oh my gosh, I need that milk. Oh, that's right, I need that milk to cleanse Mindy's dress. He's been looking for milk for five years. We're going to make good on that promise. The oath will be born. That's so funny. You should have to flip a coin to see if it can give milk. Yeah, it's a 50-50 shot. This one galope, sorry, let's help this guy out. He's trying to get his one galope out of the mud. Is the crab rack actually still with us? Could we get his help to help push the thing?

Speaker 1 1:47:14

Yeah, I think with Galen and the crab rack, you guys don't even need to make a check.

Speaker 2 1:47:19

Yeah, rangoonie, come on, put your shoulder into it. Clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, are we?

Speaker 1 1:47:27

14 feet tall. Yeah, this whole situation just kind of shocks the dorg. We got you pal.

Speaker 2 1:47:39

Yeah, Get him out and say hey, you got any milk.

Speaker 1 1:47:46

My name is Gaspar. Pleased to meet you. I have milk.

Speaker 2 1:47:51

Gaspar, well, we'd, we'd be happy to trade our services For the milk.

Speaker 1 1:47:58

Yes, I have vials of milk. I'm a potion peddler. I have milk, soda, carbonated milk.

Speaker 2 1:48:11

Alright, I'll give it a shot, that'll get a stain out carbonated milk. All right, I'll give it a shot, that'll get a stain out.

Speaker 1 1:48:18

Yes, it's good for stains. It's also good to drink. He just drinks like a whole bottle. It's like dripping down his beard.

Speaker 2 1:48:29

He belches in a really cheesy smell, yeah, yeah. You get a good view.

Speaker 1 1:48:39

There's like chunks in this, it's like it's like a chunky milk, yeah, like a cottage cheese.

Speaker 2 1:48:42

Yeah, it's good stuff a carbonated cottage cheese is a wild concept. I can't imagine why it hasn't caught on I'm almost certain that can't exist, but you know anybody watching. If there is such a thing, I'd love to know. I know there's milk soda, but is there cottage cheese soda?

Speaker 1 1:49:00

He gives you some complimentary milk soda. This is perfect, straight from the one galope.

Speaker 2 1:49:10

Comes out carbonated.

Speaker 1 1:49:12

Yeah.

Speaker 2 1:49:12

They're high pressure.

Speaker 1 1:49:13

I put a little extra juice in it. You know what I mean.

Speaker 2 1:49:17

I love that idea.

Speaker 1 1:49:19

I do. I have other wares too.

Speaker 2 1:49:25

One galopes are just soda streams. You have other wares, other potions.

Speaker 1 1:49:33

Yes, I'll give you one. He just pulls randomly out of his thing.

Speaker 2 1:49:39

I hope it's a flight potion for Riley.

Speaker 1 1:49:43

Let's see what shall we roll here. Roll a D100.

Speaker 2 1:49:51

26.

Speaker 1 1:49:59

Gutter glue. Gutter glue Interesting, extremely adhesive glue that binds objects together.

Speaker 2 1:50:09

Not for drinking. That seems like it would be useful.

Speaker 1 1:50:12

Don't drink, it'll gum up the works I know from experience, although it's very nutritious.

Speaker 2 1:50:24

Really sticks with you, Sticks to your ribs. Wow, I say it's good to meet you. Gaspar. Where are you based out of? I was heading back to Camp Mudbank you might want to avoid that place for a couple of days. It's a little bit chaotic yeah, let it cool down first maybe oh, it's Bernard. Bernard, your rolls were with us all day, hey buddy wild Bernard has shown up.

Speaker 1 1:50:55

Welcome back.

Speaker 2 1:50:55

Oh, it's Bernard Bernard your rolls were with us all day today. Hey, buddy, wild Bernard has shown up. Welcome back. Yeah, hope all is well with you.

Speaker 1 1:51:03

You've been guiding our hand on these dice rolls for many, many episodes.

Speaker 2 1:51:17

We sort of broke up a gladiatorial ring back there. Yeah, we tell them. So yeah, there's, there's just some preachers on the loose, you know? Uh, chimera, I don't. I just don't mention the crab rack at all. The crab racks with us, you know not, it's rigatoni or what was his name.

Speaker 1 1:51:30

Thanks for the tip. Perhaps I'll head to Puddle Point.

Speaker 2 1:51:36

Where is Puddle Point at?

Speaker 1 1:51:39

Just due east.

Speaker 2 1:51:42

Due east.

Speaker 1 1:51:43

Due east.

Speaker 2 1:51:44

Hey, you wouldn't happen to know where we could get some lumber, maybe south of here? Lumber, mucklin, harbor, but it's all the corporations it's like we'll have to create our own lumber camp to the west of Mucklin Harbor. What if we just created our own corporation based out of the crack? It'll be like Crack LLC.

Speaker 1 1:52:16

Could go down to Hornswoggleport Pirates. I don't know what's worse.

Speaker 2 1:52:23

It's true, I don't either. Well, thanks for the tip. Well, we have to go to Hornswoggleport anyways, because that's where the map from Wally starts go there first? Yeah, maybe, I don't know it'd be good to connect with Dagen. We gotta make sure there's even a ship that exists still. Yeah, I sold it with this wooden nickel. Yep Was the richest man in all the Mucklins for about a half hour. I love it. I'll make a travel check as well.

Speaker 1 1:53:03

Well, that'll end up the day.

Speaker 2 1:53:07

Oh, that's right, because we went into Camp Mudback yeah.

Speaker 1 1:53:12

Gaspar takes his leave with his one galope we waved.

Speaker 2 1:53:22

Vaya con.

Speaker 1 1:53:22

Dios Gaspar Rangoonie says thank you for saving me. Well, no problem, mr Rangoonie, thank you for saving me Well no problem, Mr Rangoonie.

Speaker 2 1:53:38

No one should be caged. Forced to fight for the entertainment of others, Just really rubs me.

Speaker 1 1:53:45

the wrong way. You know what I mean. I was in there for four years.

Speaker 2 1:53:51

Well, where will you go now? Perhaps back home Scuttles off into the ocean.

Speaker 1 1:54:02

But is my home still there? I don't know Where's home? Yeah, on the strand, well you, well South from here.

Speaker 2 1:54:15

That's where we're headed now. We're headed to Muckland Harbor, if you want to travel with us.

Speaker 1 1:54:22

Yes, perhaps I will go to Conch.

Speaker 2 1:54:27

Ah yes, just outside of Shearwater.

Speaker 1 1:54:30

My small village Was attacked by Niaids, who dealt me to the dwarves.

Speaker 2 1:54:38

That's the most depressing thing I've ever heard. Yeah Well, it was an honor to meet you, sir, and fight at your side for, or be present while you fought. Really, I mean I.

Speaker 1 1:54:51

You fought well, this giant clow-lick. Like accidentally like knocks me to the ground. It's okay. He springs back up. Yeah, I'm good. I'm good, I'm fine, I'm good, it's alright, such tiny folk yeah, I'm a little.

Speaker 2 1:55:11

Yeah, I didn't Ben have we fought crab racks before. Why do I feel like?

Speaker 1 1:55:15

we have.

Speaker 2 1:55:18

I don't recall, maybe not.

Speaker 1 1:55:20

I definitely remember crab racks, but maybe crawl bats.

Speaker 2 1:55:24

Sure, maybe I say you're such a gentle giant. I genuinely was intimidated by you when I first saw you. Wouldn't have expected you to be.

Speaker 1 1:55:34

I have done terrible things to survive.

Speaker 2 1:55:41

Tell us about them, tell us all about them, and then throughout the night.

Speaker 1 1:55:47

He basically describes Conan's story, pit fighting, and when I return, I will become a king by my own hand.

Speaker 2 1:55:56

And as the sun rises, he's told stories all night. Yeah, I'm fine with being exhausted. That was awesome, I say. You've lived a thousand lives in your journeys.

Speaker 1 1:56:11

Yes, where will you go now? You spoke of treasure.

Speaker 2 1:56:18

You hear Wildar cracking a fizzy whiz in the background.

Speaker 1 1:56:25

Who is this?

Speaker 2 1:56:26

Seems like dead weight, he's going through some things at the moment. Yes, life changes. Life changes. Life changes, big, huge life changes. He's kind of hitting the reset button. You know, I like the idea that the reset button, kind of like how you're hitting the reset button but you're on the upside. He's got the downside.

Speaker 1 1:56:49

I don't understand shrimp technology yeah, I wish I did.

Speaker 2 1:56:52

I don't understand shrimp technology. Yeah, I was thinking too, I wish I did. Yeah, I say he's going through a phase. It's like he's gone from being a man but back into a pupa. He's going to go back to a man. He figures some stuff out. Yeah, it's kind of a failure to launch situation. Oh, that's not fair.

Speaker 1 1:57:22

All right, I guess you could eat up.

Speaker 2 1:57:28

Yeah, we're all having like a seafood bisque. It's like really awkward.

Speaker 1 1:57:32

Oh, it's good. What is this made of?

Speaker 2 1:57:43

Imitation crab with a K Crab racks with a K. Yeah, crab racks with a K.

Speaker 1 1:57:50

It's okay, we're cannibals oh. You gotta eat, yeah, crab racks with a K. It's okay, we're cannibals, oh.

Speaker 2 1:57:57

You gotta eat, growing boys gotta eat. Let me roll to see if the lizard eats everything. It doesn't. Yeah, we settled in so we've told stories all night from the Scrab Rack. Is it dawn now?

Speaker 1 1:58:20

Yeah, one more travel to get to Mucklin Harbor, and then I think we'll end it for the day, all right.

Speaker 2 1:58:28

Is my roll Probably. Oh wait yeah no, no, because I rolled when we went in, then you rolled when we came out, it's a six. No, no, it's my roll, probably. Oh wait, yeah, yeah, no, no, because I rolled when I we went in, then you roll when we came out, it's a six.

Speaker 1 1:58:35

no, no, it's it's my roll, oh good, my roll my roll 13.

Speaker 2 1:58:43

Oh my gosh, these travel rolls are amazing, smooth sailing, you know roll a d100. Roll a d100. Roll a d100. Oh, I need one piece of materials. I like that Google is trying to correct my spelling of fizzy whiz. How dare you.

Speaker 1 1:59:15

Oh, this is Scallywag Strain now. Oh, the.

Speaker 2 1:59:20

Sandbox Scallywag Strain. Y'all do dang old Scallywags, barrett, do you do Scallywags? Yes Bug made an appearance. Bear would make an appearance too.

Speaker 1 1:59:37

You find a giant ribcage on the beach and there looks to be like some old Wood wreckage inside of it.

Speaker 2 1:59:49

Okay.

Speaker 1 1:59:51

Like Something catches your eyes within it, like a flicker of gold.

Speaker 2 2:00:03

James, you're muted. So I'm going to use the same attentive eyes as Bear would to examine. It's true, just think everything's food.

Speaker 1 2:00:15

You see the gold tooth of a human skeleton.

Speaker 2 2:00:23

Huh.

Speaker 1 2:00:25

What does it mean?

Speaker 2 2:00:27

Is there any?

Speaker 1 2:00:29

It looks like you'd have to dig to examine further.

Speaker 2 2:00:32

Mm-hmm.

Speaker 1 2:00:34

It's attached to the skull.

Speaker 2 2:00:35

Yeah, I will dig to see if we can get any ideas to who this was or what's going on, but clearly they were swallowed by this beast.

Speaker 1 2:00:47

Yeah, it's a real.

Speaker 2 2:00:48

Jonah and the whale situation.

Speaker 1 2:00:49

Yeah, you're able to dig out Jonah and the whale situation. Yeah, yeah, you're able to dig out the skeleton and there's like more wood and stuff, but like the skeleton is sort of clutching as well as it can in death. A remarkably well-preserved book, oh is it locked up.

Speaker 2 2:01:13

Is it the almanac that we're looking for?

Speaker 1 2:01:15

It's probably not but it's called Amaru's legends of the sea.

Speaker 2 2:01:25

Amazing Amaru's legends of the sea. I'll pluck the the book out of its hands and bury the skeleton fully All right, fuck the book out of its hands and bury the skeleton fully.

Speaker 1 2:01:43

Alright Rangooni is examining the giant ribcage. He says, hmm, looks like a sea chimera maybe there's still some eggs.

Speaker 2 2:01:59

It's all. We need another chimera, yeah, more like a saw chimera. I'm gonna ask Rangooni if he's heard of Amaru no, I know nothing of human culture understandable.

Speaker 1 2:02:18

Neither do we turns out he was actually Amaru, was actually a crab wreck if you check out the book you see that it's just a bunch of like lore about the oceans of EME and the Scallow Egg Strand.

Speaker 2 2:02:40

This book gives you plus one to lore checks related to that, that's amazing, going to be really really helpful for Terror Island and our quest for this treasure. Awesome, what a find.

Speaker 1 2:02:56

That was pretty cool. Mucklin Harbor is just up ahead. You've been here before you remember that it's. It's like a bustling trading town. It's got, you know, tons of wooden walkways like docks, wharfs, everywhere.

Speaker 2 2:03:25

Michael Doran everywhere.

Speaker 1 2:03:27

In the center is like this big ship and Look it's our ship.

Speaker 2 2:03:33

It's not our ship.

Speaker 1 2:03:35

No, it's like a fixture. It's called the Midtown Galleon.

Speaker 2 2:03:39

Oh, that's right.

Speaker 1 2:03:43

But you could go down to the docks.

Speaker 2 2:03:46

Let's go down to the docks and hopefully we'll find a fully restored, resplendent ship with Noggin sunbathing and elmo noggin's got like leathery skin he's obviously just lion shirt, but it's totally unbuttoned, so like you can see his chest hair.

Speaker 1 2:04:05

I kind of want to bring this down to a roll, like how noggin and elmo like fared in the last year, whatever it it's been, yeah, let's do it, Do it, James, do it or Ben if you want to roll for us, I don't care. Let's just do a flat roll.

Speaker 2 2:04:22

Do it. It's going to be a 12, baby, it's going to be a 1. Oh, okay.

Speaker 1 2:04:27

I'll take it yeah yeah.

Speaker 2 2:04:30

I'll take it.

Speaker 1 2:04:34

They've been successful, but with no twist. Yeah, I mean the the galleon just looks in better shape.

Speaker 2 2:04:39

Yeah, Slow, steady progress. Elmo's actually like found his calling in life. Yeah, he's been to Naval school. It's a common thought. Now he's yeah.

Speaker 1 2:04:50

Guys, he's like he's totally guys, he's like he's totally weight on his frame.

Speaker 2 2:04:56

He's not like some skinny little kid anymore. Yeah, his voice is strapping, young man. Yeah, his pimples are all gone.

Speaker 1 2:05:00

He's got like a real beard he, uh, you call out to him, he goes oh, oh, hey, and he like hops down like a, like a pirate, you know it's like, yeah, he's very light on some rigging.

Speaker 2 2:05:20

Like he jumps to the next ship and puts a knife through the sail and just rides it down. Fix it later and the whole time. It's nothing but like Piper music.

Speaker 1 2:05:32

Yeah, fix it later the whole time it's nothing but like Piper music. I knew you guys would come back. It's only a matter of time. Look, we got the ship all ready. We're going to go on a grand adventure.

Speaker 2 2:05:54

We sure are. Elmo, how'd you like to look for the lost treasure of Wally Tunkwiffle and Ulf Rex the Cool?

Speaker 1 2:06:03

Sure Sounds good. You know, look, honestly, I'm a little stir-crazy. Oh, where's Noggin? By the way, he's on deck.

Speaker 2 2:06:21

He's in his sunbathing chair. He's on a shuffleboard court that he built into it. They turned the ship in the meantime into a retirement community. Until they get it underway, it's like a retirement community. They get it underway, it's like a retirement community he has a girlfriend now, oh boy what, what wait? What about you, elmo? I mean, you're turning to a strapping young fellow uh I just haven't, just haven't met the right, right one all right, I respect it.

Speaker 2 2:06:48

I respect it. You know there's plenty of fish in the sea. I joke, I high five the crab wreck. Crab wreck, cuts your hand off.

Speaker 1 2:07:02

Freeze frame end quest next time riley shows up with a hook on her hook hand yeah all right, next time on the land of eem, you guys, uh, we'll have a ship at the ready here we go, oh my gosh long time coming.

Speaker 1 2:07:21

This is the moment taking to the high seas wild awesome we haven't done xp in a while I think like two quests at least, so I don't want to go back and figure out what that was. No we're just saying do like a flat 10, yeah 10, I was gonna say 10, yeah, and then for today, um, let's do it before we forget.

Speaker 2 2:07:56

I like it 40 74.

Speaker 1 2:08:02

So, you completed the objective. To come back to the ship, you solved a problem creatively the chim. That was awesome. Board in your location, camp mud bank, countered a new creature you know, crab rack chimera. Yeah uh, significant encounter with an NPC Rangoonie.

Speaker 2 2:08:35

Our new best friend.

Speaker 1 2:08:38

So that's, five.

Speaker 2 2:08:40

We traveled a number of hexes, did we, though Not really Well. I mean we did six hexes, at least we started. I think right here it's 24, 17, or 18 maybe. I mean we did six hexes, at least we started. I think right here it's 24, 17, or 18, maybe.

Speaker 1 2:08:58

Yeah, one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten. So I think that's exactly enough, wow.

Speaker 2 2:09:08

Exactly enough for an XP.

Speaker 1 2:09:10

So that's six XP. You guys got relationship stuff. Individual.

Speaker 2 2:09:21

I rescued someone from danger. I did not really do. My ideals are flaws, but I do have enough XP to level and that makes me happy.

Speaker 1 2:09:33

Boish.

Speaker 2 2:09:35

Let's see, james. Do you see how many it is? To level 10, by any chance? Is it 60? To level 10 is 60. Okay, and I'm going to be level 9. Amazing. So we got 6 plus 7, 8, 48. I need 12 more XP Maximum.

Speaker 1 2:09:59

Galen, it's crazy man.

Speaker 2 2:10:04

It only took 50. It'll take like 60 sessions probably. It's not bad.

Speaker 1 2:10:12

I wonder how many campaigns actually play this long, cause I can count on one hand the amount of times that I've done it. Yeah, same I mean star Wars star. Wars like Matt's game Matt's yeah, matt's game, matt's, yeah, matt's game actually maybe I ran a Star Wars game with them that lasted that long too oh, then I can't.

Speaker 2 2:10:43

Yeah, I, that was before my time and then this yeah, yeah, that's, but. But if you think about it like campaigns that span years, yeah, yeah, that's, but if you think about it, campaigns that span years, I feel. So I think it's like I feel kind of privileged that I've had campaigns that span that long even once in my life.

Speaker 1 2:11:06

Yeah, because even if you're playing years, it's not like you're playing every week, right?

Speaker 2 2:11:10

Yeah.

Speaker 1 2:11:13

But we are, you know, we are. You also have the fact that in a bigger group probably going to be generating a bit more experience.

Speaker 2 2:11:24

Yeah, I think so, like even if you just doubled the amount of people, there'd be a lot more like group, like dynamics and whatnot probably would guide, like how we would interact or how we would, uh like, take on challenges as well yeah yeah, yeah, we did more, more at our disposal, more resources and abilities I like it, I like it. But I mean, we've done pretty good for just the two of us, just the two of us. Make it if we try.

Speaker 1 2:11:58

Yeah, all right. Well, thanks for playing, thanks for watching. It's great to have Bernard show up. Indeed A sight for sore eyes.

Speaker 2 2:12:08

You know it's been Bear says, hello, he's scrambling, he's got the scrambles.

Speaker 1 2:12:16

He's going endless treadmill.

Speaker 2 2:12:17

Yeah, he gave up. That's what he got. She tried. Okay, trim your claws, buddy, Getting a little sharp there.

Speaker 1 2:12:27

All right and well, till next week, yeah.

Speaker 2 2:12:30

Thanks for joining us everybody. If you want to check out Land of Eam, go to landofeamcom. You can download the beta rule set for free and sign up to find out news about the upcoming Kickstarter. You can also check us out on DriveThruRPG and the social webs, the social medias.

Speaker 1 2:12:50

Indeed At RicketyStitch. Alright, see you nextias. Indeed At Rickety Stitch. All right, see you next week. Bye, farewell, everyone.