Land of Eem: Actual Play

Hex-Crawl Survival, Gang Intrigue, and the Lost Willows | Land of Eem Fantasy Actual Play S05EP06

• Ben Costa, James Parks, George Higgins • Season 5 • Episode 6

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The swamp doesn’t care if you’re ready—but in this Land of Eem Actual Play, our heroes limp in anyway, light on rations and heavy on jokes. What starts with broom-closet lodging, “swamp carrots,” and a roadside magic shop soon unravels into gang intrigue, dangerous travel, and a lead on the elusive Harn Twinbeard.

Bogtown proves to be a crossroads: Charlie pays us for our troubles but tries to keep his Underbrink ties under wraps. We shadow the Tricky Toe pickup, uncover whispers of a cave-drill expansion at the Heartworm Hotel, and set our sights on the greater underbelly at play. From there, the Quagmash swamp makes every step a survival choice. Rain, exhaustion, and quicksand test the party, while camp life becomes a lifeline—complete with gumbo cooked from a Nacadonkey Reaver that grants a small but vital might boost.

By the time we reach Skiff, we’ve earned more grit than gold. Isaac the kobold trades our intel for new hooks: a riversaur hunt led by Long John McGill, a cult brewing at Dark Shroom Tower, and the Lost Willows, where trees swallow travelers whole—and perhaps, a man named Harn.

This chapter balances comedy with danger, showing how hex-crawl storytelling turns maps into characters, meals into moments, and survival into bonds stronger than treasure. If you love fantasy RPG podcasts with heists, worldbuilding, and roleplay-driven choices, this episode delivers.

Find more at www.landofeem.com
. Download the free Quickstart Guide, or pick up the Land of Eem RPG—created by Ben Costa and James Parks—from Exalted Funeral, your FLGS, or online retailers.

Enjoyed the ride? Follow, share, and review—would you head southeast or southwest in search of Harn Twinbeard?

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SPEAKER_07:

There it is. Hey. Hey, welcome to the stream, everybody.

SPEAKER_08:

I'm excited to be going. How are you? Oh, I'm doing great. Georgie, Benjamin, how are you two doing? Uh I I'm fine. How are how are you? Uh, I'm okay. That's cool. That's cool. I got some cuties, you know, some tangerines. Mandarins? Gaming session. I need some gamer fuel to really facilitate my Brendoness. Yeah. Because it takes a lot out of you. Yeah. My Brendo is actually short for Brendanovan. I don't know if I told you guys. Canon.

SPEAKER_03:

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_10:

Canon. Um, welcome everybody to another uh stream of the Land of Eam, the adventures of uh Brendo and Hooch. We're gonna be playing the Landof Eme RPG. You can download the beta for free at landoveeam.com or drive-through rpg. And uh you'll get this fancy map and some pre-generated characters and quests, and uh you can let us know uh what you think. If you are already playing it, you can uh I got it. I got it. If you're already playing and you're looking for a group or want to GM a game, check out the Discord at the bottom of this link or at Landaveam at the bottom of this video or at landbeam.com.

SPEAKER_08:

How does this whole thing uh get funded, you know, if I wanted to contribute to your society?

SPEAKER_10:

Uh if you wanted to contribute, we are going to be launching uh uh uh crowdsourcing campaign very shortly, very soon in the next couple of months. Um, and you can sign up for news about that at landaveam.com. Love it.

SPEAKER_06:

Yeah, and uh so today is the sixth episode of our second campaign starring Brando and Hooch, these rascals.

SPEAKER_08:

Um you guys ventured out into the spill last time. We almost died. We did. It was a uh a deathly experience. You fought a mutant Murgotode.

SPEAKER_06:

Mutant Murgotodes. Um you ran away from some sarpathy.

SPEAKER_08:

It was a strategic, uh strategic redirection of our efforts. Yeah, we did not run away. Cowards. Okay.

SPEAKER_06:

Uh so yeah, tell me what you guys want to do. You guys are talking about going deep into the quagmash to find Harn Twinbeard.

SPEAKER_01:

Were you gonna do that now, or are you gonna go back to Bog Town first, or what?

SPEAKER_08:

I will say this. Uh, the last note I have for quest five is City Slickers 2, the legend of Charlie's Gold. Code. I don't know what that means. It means nothing. That means absolutely nothing.

SPEAKER_06:

Uh uh, you do have the the part that Charlie wanted you to find.

SPEAKER_04:

Charlie, Charlie, Charlie.

SPEAKER_01:

So you could go and return that to him.

SPEAKER_08:

We could.

SPEAKER_01:

That's true. Up to you.

SPEAKER_08:

I mean, how hosered is our our hit points? Brando's sim minus six out of fourteen. It's not good. I think I was knocked unconscious.

SPEAKER_05:

Um yeah.

SPEAKER_10:

Yes, we are both unconscious.

SPEAKER_08:

Yes. So I think you would roll a d6 plus your level, and that's how much you have. Got it. I'm gonna roll that right now. Roll d6 plus my Larabelle. Aww. Oh, I'm sorry. I feel bad that I rolled a 6. Oh no, you should not feel bad. You're gonna be the meat shield. But I do! It's a d6 plus your level. Yes, yes. Bah room blitz. I just leveled up, so you know what I mean? I do.

SPEAKER_07:

Okay, um George, you're only level two.

SPEAKER_08:

I haven't leveled.

SPEAKER_07:

Do you have like a ton of XP then?

SPEAKER_08:

Yeah, I know you're talking about yes, I do. I do I do. I do have a ton of XP.

SPEAKER_10:

Okay, I was about to say, like, I just leveled to level four because I haven't I haven't increased any of my skills yet, although I really want to know.

SPEAKER_08:

You have been using a lot of your uh flaws and uh ideals in a good way. Yeah.

SPEAKER_06:

Um George has spent zero time thinking about this game in between.

SPEAKER_08:

Uh I've spent so much time that I I am catatonic. I have analysis paralysis, as they say.

SPEAKER_09:

I believe that.

unknown:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_08:

Yeah. It's the it's uh just that scene with the guy with the numbers. Wow. That being said, that being said, I am I am ready to rise to the occasion as an adventure in the land of eam. Okay. All right, here we go.

SPEAKER_06:

Which uh occasion would that be? What what uh what are you guys doing?

SPEAKER_08:

I said what go ahead, George. No, no, no, no.

SPEAKER_10:

I was I was gonna say I just go on, I think it's it would be cool if we looked for Harn Twinbeard.

SPEAKER_05:

Yeah, do we uh uh let's see what we're gonna do.

SPEAKER_10:

Just know he's in the quagnash though, so we have no idea. We'd have to go like search him out, actually. Uh yeah, I'm gonna kick it off with a power.

SPEAKER_07:

I'm gonna kick it off with a power. I'm gonna use bar fly. Oh wait, you guys that's how we ended it.

SPEAKER_09:

Oh, that's right. Oh my gosh, yes.

SPEAKER_07:

I that that was all right, we're in a bar.

SPEAKER_10:

Um with uh, you know.

SPEAKER_08:

What was it called? I don't even remember, but uh soggy jimbos, yeah. Carrots pretzel? Soggy carrot. Oh, what it had carrots on the menu.

SPEAKER_01:

I mean he couldn't. Because I was excited about swamp. Hey, friend.

SPEAKER_02:

Y'all want some mud carrots or swamp carrots? I think it had swamp carrots.

SPEAKER_08:

It had swamp carrots, which was a like it somehow got willed into like yeah, it got willed into existence through the power of random rolling. Yeah, because that was a randomly generated randomly generated swampness. All right, so uh yeah, let's just we can start back up in the bar.

SPEAKER_10:

Yeah, I was gonna say uh didn't know.

SPEAKER_08:

Remember, we wanted to rest for the night there, and he said we said, Do you have rooms for night? He's like, sure, why not? We get a lot of people out this way anyway.

SPEAKER_02:

We asked him if he had free rooms, right? Yeah, we had free rooms, yeah. Sure, why not?

SPEAKER_08:

Yeah, it was a sure why not situation, and I love it.

SPEAKER_09:

Yeah, so we're both sleeping in a broom closet.

SPEAKER_08:

Yeah. Can we, yeah. I I guess could we eat some food for the night, Ben, to recover a little more hit points. Uh food.

SPEAKER_10:

I have one ration on me.

SPEAKER_08:

I mean, we are at a uh Do you have money? Yeah, that's the question. I I do. But we have I'm gonna tell I tell uh Hooch we only have one copper pouch. It's not true. I say, so we gotta spend this wisely, Hooch. Now, what do you want from the menu?

SPEAKER_10:

Uh well, I definitely want some swamp carrots, and I definitely want a shepherd's pie and the pancakes and uh whatever else we got back there.

SPEAKER_08:

Uh, how many shepherds pies can we get? I asked the innkeep for this pouch of copper coins.

SPEAKER_06:

Well, let's see. He goes uh counting each coin one by one.

SPEAKER_08:

We'll make your use of checker. Yeah, we'll make a use of checker. Here we go. Usagi dice check. Sorry. Hey I get I get extra change back. It should be that you get like extra money back if you roll two sixes. Like they give you an inaccurate uh change or something. You only rolled one six, right? We're about to roll another one. There you go.

SPEAKER_03:

Whoa! Oh no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Oh, oh, oh.

SPEAKER_08:

It's old me. Ah, dang it. Yes. Yes, is awesome. Well, so you you got definitely enough for one and two. Okay.

SPEAKER_06:

You can buy two.

SPEAKER_08:

All right. I uh I rolled another uh D6 for use as J on the second one, and it was a four. Yeah, so you you were able to pay for both of them. Say see, see that's how money works, uh Hooch. You gotta you know parcel it out. Oh, yeah, you know, that's how money works.

SPEAKER_06:

It's true. Uh-huh. Eat up.

SPEAKER_08:

I ask if there are swamp carrots in this. Well, yeah, sure. It's like exclusively. I like that he says sure to everything.

SPEAKER_00:

It's just it's like, yeah, sure, whatever you want, boy.

SPEAKER_05:

It's just piping hot mud, supposed, isn't it?

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, I guess there's carrots in there, some carrots in there. Yeah, just some get your feet. I tell you, it's war. That's all you need to know. I know. I tell you, I'll tell you that war.

SPEAKER_06:

Uh um, yeah, so you guys eat you eat up, it's good stuff. Yeah. Um rest here for the night. You also can ask uh Sky a question, James, as per your ability.

SPEAKER_05:

Have you heard any rumors about uh twin harnbeard being in the quagmash?

SPEAKER_06:

Oh, you mean Harn the Twinbeard?

SPEAKER_01:

Harn the twin beard. That's right. There's a rumor that he went uh way down south, I see.

SPEAKER_10:

Way down south, you say? Like all the way to the seashore.

SPEAKER_01:

Well, I can't tell for sure. Maybe uh somewhere down there, you know, maybe near the mushmash.

SPEAKER_12:

Okay, so pretty far south.

SPEAKER_01:

The mushmash.

SPEAKER_12:

Thank you.

SPEAKER_01:

That's just a rumor. Well, rumors are I had some uh tricky toe gang members, you know, sniffing around a while back. Oh, really? Are they still around?

SPEAKER_10:

Uh this is weeks, months ago. Where do you think they would have gone? South? Did you tell them the same thing?

SPEAKER_09:

Well, uh, that's where I learned it from then. Oh, okay. Maybe they they might have it on good authority then. Thank you, sir.

SPEAKER_08:

That was what it was.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, mushmash is way down south, right.

SPEAKER_08:

I say uh how once you guys are done talking, asking the question.

SPEAKER_10:

I don't have much to say other than uh you know the shepherd pie is delicious, and uh I'm now gonna take the little I imagine it's served in like a clay dish, and I'm gonna fill the dish with tapatio and maple syrup because I just imagine it's like a California diner and just drink it.

SPEAKER_08:

For the nutrients. Um, I I turn to the guy and I say, so you know, you gotta have a crazy story. How did this bar spring out in the middle of a swamp? Like next to the spill, isn't the water bad?

SPEAKER_01:

Well, this this has been here for years and years, even before the spill, you see.

SPEAKER_08:

So you get you saw the people who did the spill?

SPEAKER_12:

No.

SPEAKER_08:

No.

SPEAKER_09:

You don't use the local water to brew your beer, do you? Oh yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_08:

I see. What about that? What about the shepherd's the shepherd's pie? Is there water in this?

SPEAKER_01:

Uh yeah, there's spill water in there. I mean, where else are we gonna get it? You see, uh if you're trying to learn some history about the spill, you see. Well, I wasn't alive back then, but this uh this thing has been here for years, you see.

SPEAKER_08:

Um, Ben, can we roll mutations? Uh I don't have that on hand. That's fine. That's fine. Those that was we need to make that mutation table.

SPEAKER_10:

I think there's something like there is somewhere. There's something about there's some table that we could use for it.

SPEAKER_08:

We used something last time. Was it was it just uh an off-brand? It was an online okay, okay, great.

SPEAKER_12:

Um I think one of the adversaries has a mutations table.

SPEAKER_05:

Um I might be thinking of ogres. Never mind.

SPEAKER_08:

Augres. Not like I say uh I I I sleep all night thinking and scratching the back of my neck, feeling like something's gonna grow there, but nothing ever happens because there is not enough spill water in my food.

SPEAKER_09:

Your nightmare is like Army of Darkness when Bruce Campbell like scratches an eyeball.

SPEAKER_08:

Yeah. Yeah, Bruce Campbell, he needs to be in more things. Uh just watch Burn Notice and you'll I literally just finished Burn Notice maybe two months ago. Wow. Again.

SPEAKER_10:

I've never seen it.

SPEAKER_08:

My name is Michael Weston, and I'm a spy. All you need to know. All right. Or we have Brand. Uh my name is Brendo Sim, and I'm a bard.

SPEAKER_06:

You guys can uh roll some some courage, some healing for a night of rest.

SPEAKER_08:

I sit on the porch plucking my my um my keychart going ding ding ding ding ding ding ding.

SPEAKER_09:

Swamp gators just come floating by gators are just floating in the water listening to the song with birds in their mouths.

SPEAKER_08:

Just every once in a while you hear it snap and a bird goes fluttering off, or sometimes you see it explode into feathers, just depends.

SPEAKER_10:

It's the law of nature. Laws of nature. So if we head south, should we avoid orchestai?

SPEAKER_08:

Like maybe is this in the sclunch timeline? Yeah. I mean, but we don't know what happened to sclunch. I'm just so curious. Not that it would matter to these characters, I just genuinely also um it's not on the map yet, but there's like a big impenetrable place of uh thorny vines called the prickle right here.

SPEAKER_12:

Oh, right. Yeah, that's right. Oh. So we'd have to go around?

SPEAKER_08:

Or we'd have to go through Orchmire. Well, you could go through the prickle, it's just like prickly. There's no good options in front of you, basically, unless you go like all the way around.

SPEAKER_11:

We c I guess we could go into used to be forest and hug the c hug the coast to avoid going through via marsh gate, or do you or similarly we could go through Bogtown, Bugbear, Holler and all the way around, maybe, or maybe get to Skiff and Yeah.

SPEAKER_08:

So how about this? We go back to Bogtown, we drop off with Charlie, uh, that part that we got.

SPEAKER_12:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_08:

Where is Sir Fwitter in all this? Did he fly away?

SPEAKER_12:

He did.

SPEAKER_08:

Yeah. Respect. I love that bird.

SPEAKER_09:

Save our lives.

SPEAKER_08:

It's the best discovery ever. Yeah. That discovery party one reason.

SPEAKER_10:

But if this wasn't a party one.

SPEAKER_08:

Yeah, very much so. Um, okay, so then let's, yeah, why don't we go return the stuff to Charlie, get his goad, and then head out south out of the quagmash, into the quagmash. Sounds good to me. Let's do it. Let's roll it. I do it. It's rolled. It's rolling. Travel. Ooh, that's an 11, and I definitely have some kind of bonus attached to it. Let me get my realms plus one.

SPEAKER_11:

Here we go. Way to start it out.

SPEAKER_08:

The Scooby Arto. I roll a D20.

SPEAKER_11:

Way to start it out.

unknown:

Okay!

SPEAKER_08:

Okay.

SPEAKER_06:

Let's just look at my character sheet. Uh, you have to roll a D100, my friend.

SPEAKER_08:

All right, let's just multiply it by five, see what happens. 17 times 5, 25. Yeah, that's right. Yeah. That's right.

SPEAKER_12:

No, that's right.

SPEAKER_06:

Three people.

SPEAKER_11:

English degrees.

unknown:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06:

Um on the side of the road to Bog Town, or not really a road, it's just a dirt path. Um dirt sarcathy. A shop that says magic.

SPEAKER_08:

Is it spelled correctly?

SPEAKER_06:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_08:

Oh, it's legit. It's legit, yeah. Um is it the same guy who sold us literal snake oil? Um, no. Guys, that guy didn't make it. Oh, he didn't make it. That's right. He's dead. Uh gonna head on in. Yeah, let's head on in. This because this is cool.

SPEAKER_06:

Uh, you see uh a fellow with a nice little mustache, like freshly waxed mustache, like twisting. Freshly waxed, he's got a bow tie. Um, he looks really excited when you guys come in and he says, Hello, hello. Uh uh would you like to purchase some uh magic items?

SPEAKER_08:

I I elbow hooch, I'm like, hey, magic.

SPEAKER_06:

Trick gum?

SPEAKER_08:

Real magic. Trick gum trick gum gum. Yeah. What's the what's the trick?

SPEAKER_12:

Have a bite. Uh do it, buddy!

SPEAKER_07:

All right, all right.

SPEAKER_08:

I um I humor hooch and I take a bite of trick gum. My head explodes. Hooch spends the rest of our money buying trick gum. No, just like black ooze starts uh foaming at your mouth. I've been oozed.

SPEAKER_06:

Somebody get a doctor. It's hilarious.

SPEAKER_08:

I don't is this gonna come out of my frock? Whatever I wear?

SPEAKER_06:

Probably not. But that's a trick.

SPEAKER_09:

That's what else you got?

SPEAKER_06:

Go take a look around.

SPEAKER_08:

All right, you eat this one, Hooch. You just eat something that's not in there. But I swallow it.

SPEAKER_06:

Um, it's mostly uh just like you know, card tricks, like you know, it's like a magic trick shop. Um, but each of you can make a plus zero treasure hunting check.

SPEAKER_08:

Is it a D twenty then? Nine. D twelve.

SPEAKER_06:

That's pretty cool.

SPEAKER_03:

I love treasure hunting.

SPEAKER_06:

Uh you both found magnificent items.

SPEAKER_03:

Or like totals.

SPEAKER_06:

Wow.

SPEAKER_12:

I like magnificent items.

SPEAKER_08:

So would you please roll? You're so polite, then.

SPEAKER_06:

Would you please roll? You please roll a D four hundred.

SPEAKER_08:

D four hundred? That's a one forty-three. I don't know how to roll D four hundred.

SPEAKER_06:

Uh you find galoshes.

SPEAKER_11:

You write again.

SPEAKER_08:

Slash roll. Oh, slash roll space D four hundred.

SPEAKER_12:

Two sixty-two.

SPEAKER_06:

You sixty-two magnets item trade.

SPEAKER_08:

I roll again.

SPEAKER_06:

George George, you have to roll a um No, I rolled a twelve.

SPEAKER_08:

You can't take it away from me. Roll the one. All right, George, you find superb galoshes.

SPEAKER_06:

They grant plus one to relevant skill checks when you uh use these galoshes. And uh three James, you found a uh magnificent pole arm, it has charge.

SPEAKER_08:

Oh man, this is very on brand for huge.

SPEAKER_06:

When you move um two range bands and attack, it can't be countered. So if you're like uh charging someone from far away, you can hit them.

SPEAKER_08:

Nice. Ben, how many slots would you see these galoshes take up?

SPEAKER_06:

One um now, they aren't yours, you have to buy them.

SPEAKER_08:

Oh. I don't understand. But it makes perfect sense now that you're bringing back to the context of our situation. Um I just one do we want most, George? I haven't covered that gate. It doesn't matter to me. I don't know that like if you want a pike for yourself, feel free. Like uh galoshes could be super useful though, the skill check. Plus one to what, like wading through muck?

SPEAKER_11:

That would be really useful. We're about to go through quite mesh.

SPEAKER_08:

Yeah. Uh uh dealer's choice, up to you. Okay, I'm gonna do the I'm gonna do the galoshes. Galoshis. Um then I want to also oh, we could barter, James. I have a wicked flail that I think none of us should use because it's increase your dread by one die but minus five to max courage.

SPEAKER_05:

Um interesting.

SPEAKER_06:

I think uh let me see.

SPEAKER_12:

No, no, let me see.

SPEAKER_06:

No, no, let me see. No, no, no, no, no, let me see. Um I feel like that's too much of a penalty. Did we say that?

SPEAKER_08:

I don't know that we ever addressed it, but that's a really big penalty, then I would never use it at him. Okay, George, let me ask you what would be the cutoff point? Two, three, three. Even then, I'd be like Well, I guess even then, right? I would only use it at the beginning of a battle, and then I would No, because you would the minus three would be like at persistent through the whole fight. Um, yeah, I mean three I guess is is more reasonable. Two is just me being greedy I change it to minus three. But yeah, you you could uh try to barter that if you want to. Yeah, if if James, if you think that the pole arm would be and and the galoshes together.

SPEAKER_09:

I think the galoshes are definitely worth getting.

SPEAKER_06:

What are you gonna use, James?

SPEAKER_09:

What is I was going to beg for them.

SPEAKER_02:

Please, come on! I got you don't even need these, you don't even like them. Come on, they don't even fit you. Look at they they look perfect on Brundo.

SPEAKER_08:

I was gonna say, like, Hooch, you should just start putting them on and like showing them off and looking how how good you look in them.

SPEAKER_07:

For me, like I'll act like I don't understand money because I don't yeah, yeah, you don't.

SPEAKER_08:

It's very uh it's very true, all of it.

SPEAKER_10:

Um, so I can roll a trickery to beg for something.

SPEAKER_09:

That's a five. Okay, yeah. I could make it a six, but it seems like it's early.

SPEAKER_08:

The twist is that he takes part of your soul. He's that kind of magic dealer.

SPEAKER_11:

I mean do you think I should do it? Do you do we want the glasses?

SPEAKER_08:

I I I say why the heck not, buddy.

SPEAKER_11:

Alright, I'll use a quest point. Make it six.

SPEAKER_08:

Alright. Yeah, what is the twist?

SPEAKER_12:

Um take a soul, Ben.

SPEAKER_08:

Jokes on you, mushroom men don't have souls. Because they're eternal features. Mycelium. Yeah. No, I mean, I I think that uh that twist is their cursed. Actually, that's too hardcore. Just very hardcore. I was just gonna say you have to pay for them with copper coins. Oh. I I in a big boy moment, in a real like moment of growing for hooch, I hand him a batch of copper coins and I say, Alright, Hooch, what did we do? What did we discuss?

SPEAKER_10:

That I give the coins to the mustache man.

SPEAKER_08:

Give some of the coins to the mustache man.

SPEAKER_10:

And then we and then the the pants.

SPEAKER_08:

Yes. Some of the coins. James, James has to roll it though. Yeah, agreed, agreed. All right. I'm gonna roll it. I want him to roll a one so badly.

SPEAKER_11:

Well, I'm a mushroom, so one to four is a failure.

SPEAKER_08:

I didn't realize the range was that big. Thank you, so thank you. Uh you know, I'm very proud of you for putting yourself out there today. Uh we still gotta work on your your maths. Your uh your maths are not these new uh galoshes.

SPEAKER_07:

Are you two going on a journey? We are, we're heading to mushmash. Oh, is that where you're from?

SPEAKER_10:

No, no, we're uh we're looking for somebody. Maybe you've uh maybe heard some rumors or something about uh harn twin beard?

SPEAKER_06:

I don't think I have heard of that fellow. Tricky toe gangsters? Can you come through here? I do like tricks, but I don't like tricky toes. Yeah, us neither. We're bounty under you.

SPEAKER_08:

Is that what it is?

SPEAKER_06:

What?

SPEAKER_08:

What I had said nothing, I contributed nothing important to that conversation. I'm sorry.

SPEAKER_06:

So you don't want this uh pike here.

SPEAKER_10:

No, no, you you go ahead, you you've taken the last of our money.

SPEAKER_08:

I turn to Hoosh and I'm like, yeah, what good is a fish, anyways? That's funny, that's clever. Hey Bernard! This guy wishing us good luck.

SPEAKER_09:

Here we go. Things are gonna turn around. We're about to go into the quagmash. This is the moment.

SPEAKER_10:

Um, I guess we'll be on our way then. So we have no money and one ration.

SPEAKER_08:

We have one copper pouch.

SPEAKER_10:

Okay.

SPEAKER_08:

I I but you don't know that. I've been keeping it reserved just in case. Yeah. Oh, you have all the rations? Do I not have rations? I have one ration. Okay. Okay. So we both have one ration. Two rations. Yeah. Ben, I I have a horned helm. Does that do anything? Uh just is it are like more theatrical? It helps uh against dying. Gives you a plus one. Okay. Awesome. Thank you. Carry on. Um, so yeah, let's head. George, please mark down that this magic shop exists at this in this hex if you ever want to go back. Mark it down. We might we might want to go back. Locations. Can you read me the hex? My screen is not so big right now.

SPEAKER_06:

Uh 33.17.

SPEAKER_08:

33.17, mustachio magic shop. I'll check it out. Ping it.

SPEAKER_00:

Ping.

SPEAKER_08:

Sounds like uh an M1 Ground clip getting emptied.

SPEAKER_00:

Ping, ping.

SPEAKER_08:

All right, we have a mustache magic shop, and then I guess I could put at 31.17. Is that where the tavern is?

SPEAKER_09:

I'm gonna ask the guy for the stick of that trick gum before I leave.

SPEAKER_08:

Yeah. Complimentary trick gum stick. Open up.

SPEAKER_10:

I'll take it into my mouth, but I'm not gonna chew it. Yeah.

SPEAKER_08:

But the minute it hits your channel. I want to hold on to the stick gum.

SPEAKER_10:

I want to hold on. This might come in handy.

SPEAKER_08:

Yeah, it might. That's true. It's just one, it's just one piece. That's fine.

SPEAKER_09:

As long as it has the chemical reaction, that's all I need. Just in case. Shenanigans.

SPEAKER_00:

Shenanigans.

SPEAKER_06:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06:

All right. Uh next part of the day, you can head into Bogtown, make another uh travel check.

SPEAKER_08:

Go for it, Jimmy. All right.

SPEAKER_12:

Here we go. One might say you got him.

unknown:

Wow.

SPEAKER_10:

That'll be a nine.

SPEAKER_06:

That is a success. And you can also uh find resources if you clean the desire to see.

SPEAKER_00:

I want to go fishing.

SPEAKER_12:

I want to go fishing.

SPEAKER_09:

Go for it, dude. I gotta open up the rulebook. I'll just roll it. Do you have the somebody have the rule book open? I do not.

SPEAKER_08:

I do. Alright. For I am the game master. You're the master of the game. That's a one. What does it mean?

SPEAKER_06:

That means that you find nothing and you attract unwanted attention.

SPEAKER_08:

Yeah. Do not pass go. Do not collect too many.

SPEAKER_05:

Stomping around in the swamp.

SPEAKER_08:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_07:

God have mercy on your soul. Yeah. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having been there.

SPEAKER_08:

I love you guys so much. Thank you.

SPEAKER_06:

Thank you. God. Okay, you guys stroll into Bogtown, okay? Yes, indeed. It's it's you know, it's evening time. Um you're going into Charlie's.

SPEAKER_02:

Going into Charlie's, drop off the parts. Hey, Charlie! How you doing there, buddy boy?

SPEAKER_08:

How's your chocolate factory? Uh that's not funny.

SPEAKER_06:

I don't know what uh kind of joke you're trying to make is. I offended Charlie. What do you think? I'm a joke because I'm a gelatinous goo. Give him the gum, give them the gum.

SPEAKER_07:

This will be something.

SPEAKER_10:

This would be something to cheer you up, and I'll like hand over the the still groaty parts.

SPEAKER_08:

Yeah, they have seen them. Yeah, lots of schmutz on them. I thought you were belly of a mergot at the uh inn. Oh, that's right. That's how we ended it. We were hosing them off like front of the inn. That's funny, too. Yeah.

SPEAKER_06:

Whoa. Oh, you found them. Yeah.

SPEAKER_08:

We even spit shined them for you.

SPEAKER_10:

You can have your hazmat suits back.

SPEAKER_09:

Can he?

SPEAKER_08:

Oh, uh yeah. Well, we had the big form of the way.

SPEAKER_09:

We took the broken one. He's yeah, I'm gonna keep the broken one.

SPEAKER_08:

Okay. I thought you took the we took both. We took them both, but he just gonna return. Yeah, we're gonna return the one we paid for. You didn't actually pay for it, you owe him. We owed him, yeah.

SPEAKER_07:

Well, now now we don't owe you because here you got the goods back. Look at that.

SPEAKER_06:

Yes, but the difference there for you, you know, uh here's some silver coins for your trouble. Hey.

SPEAKER_08:

Now, uh Hootra these worth more or less than copper coins.

SPEAKER_10:

I don't answer. I blankly start him.

SPEAKER_08:

I'll take those two. Was it one pouch bend?

SPEAKER_06:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_08:

Awesome. Oh, he's a middleman.

SPEAKER_07:

Um say Charlie, you've been in town a long time. You uh hear any rumors lately about the tricky toes heading into quagmash?

SPEAKER_06:

Tricky toes heading into quagmash. For uh what reason?

SPEAKER_08:

And who's asking? We're asking.

SPEAKER_07:

Brenda's asking.

SPEAKER_08:

I'm asking. I'm asking.

SPEAKER_06:

You don't you don't work for someone else?

SPEAKER_12:

We work for ourselves, okay? Nunya business game.

SPEAKER_08:

I hand him the business card. It says nunya business.

SPEAKER_09:

It just says no, it just hands him the business card that says underbrink town watch.

SPEAKER_08:

Uh it when he flips it over, it was like me hastily scrawling Nunya Business on it. And then if he flips it over, he will in fact find. Yeah. You work for underbrink time. Oh, no, the other side, the other side. Ah, we're the worst at this. Do you or don't you?

SPEAKER_12:

So what if we do?

SPEAKER_08:

Uh we're subcontractors.

SPEAKER_09:

I try to crack my knuckles, but they're so spongy there's no sound.

SPEAKER_08:

You just keep squishing back and forth.

SPEAKER_06:

Look, uh, why don't you come over here?

SPEAKER_08:

He like ducks into a little um hut area. I look down the ground, there's a red X that we're standing on. I feel uncomfortable.

SPEAKER_09:

I look up and there's uh an anvil, but I don't make the connection.

SPEAKER_08:

Right.

SPEAKER_10:

How'd you get that up there?

SPEAKER_02:

That's wild.

SPEAKER_09:

Um I'll follow cautiously.

SPEAKER_06:

Look, you guys you seem like uh a pair of boobs.

SPEAKER_08:

U what now?

SPEAKER_12:

He means he means like goons. Which is totally accurate. Goongas? I killed it. I'm hearing some feedback. It's not that's not me. Oh shoot.

SPEAKER_09:

Hello?

SPEAKER_08:

Hello?

SPEAKER_09:

Hello, is that better?

SPEAKER_08:

Hello? Yes, it is. We were talking about goongas. You were talking about goongas. I'm always talking about goongas. Give it a goongas. Look, I don't want you coming around here anymore, all right? Oh are you breaking up with us? But why? We can't your shop's cool. We're gonna have a sequel and everything.

SPEAKER_01:

I'm working for Underbrink too.

SPEAKER_08:

What?

SPEAKER_12:

Oh, you are?

SPEAKER_08:

Nah, I don't believe him. What's his secret handshake? He just sighs. Oh, that's it. That's it. She does that too. You do work for her.

SPEAKER_02:

Just exasperation.

SPEAKER_08:

Look, some tricky toe guys are coming around here. They're gonna pick up this part soon. Okay. Hey, did did they have any mud on their feet? What do you want us in the quagmash?

SPEAKER_06:

Look, I don't know what you're talking about with quagmash. I haven't heard any rumors. We're we're we were gonna go looking for for uh uh harn twinbeard.

SPEAKER_05:

Yeah, harn twinbeard. Yeah, we figured if we could squeeze some information out of him, we could uh you know create some chaos for the turkey toe gang.

SPEAKER_12:

Yeah, the Yojimbo strategy.

SPEAKER_06:

Well, I've been trying to uh get close to Dwog Chumbree. And I think uh something big is going down.

SPEAKER_08:

So you're saying you want us to infiltrate the game? No, no, it's probably best you go off on your little escapade. We just keep winking at him.

SPEAKER_10:

Okay, all right. So when are we making when are we making the switch?

SPEAKER_12:

The switch. The handoff.

SPEAKER_07:

When are we when are we doing the handoff? The handoff of what?

SPEAKER_06:

The parts, the tricky toe gangs. You want us to do this or what? No, they're coming here, they're gonna pick up the part.

SPEAKER_07:

Okay, so they'll pick up the part from us, you'll be laying low. No, you guys just get out of here.

SPEAKER_02:

Okay, all right, we'll get out of here.

SPEAKER_06:

Like, no worries.

SPEAKER_03:

Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_06:

Look, last thing I heard about Han Twinbeard said he went to hole up in the quagmash. Now, some say he's in the southeast, some say he's in the southwest.

SPEAKER_08:

Definitely in the south.

SPEAKER_09:

Southeast or southwest. Okay. All right. Well, we're gonna go looking for him, and once we find him, we're gonna squeeze, we're gonna, we're gonna pinch information from this guy and see if we're gonna go to the house.

SPEAKER_08:

Where do you think that phrase came from?

SPEAKER_12:

Pinch?

SPEAKER_08:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

I mean, probably like we're gonna like him until he talks. Yeah.

SPEAKER_08:

Um, we thank him for his uh business. We say, uh, you know, when the heat's off, maybe we can do business again.

SPEAKER_01:

At that moment, uh some some goons step inside behind you and say, Hey, just got word.

SPEAKER_12:

Got the part. I try to act cool, like go on.

SPEAKER_08:

The guy doesn't even notice you exist. Yeah. I do nothing. I just I sit there and listen, see if I can go unnoticed.

SPEAKER_06:

Uh Charlie hands over the parts, and the guy they they're talking about a cave eater.

SPEAKER_08:

Cave eater.

SPEAKER_10:

Oh, actually, I I have listening. I don't know if I guess they're standing right there, nor am I.

SPEAKER_08:

Yeah, paraphrasing like Charlie is trying to explain to them how they would like put the part into the uh vehicle.

SPEAKER_06:

Gotta but uh yeah, you're you're you're understanding that the the Cherky Toe gang are going to use a K-veater for some unknown reason.

SPEAKER_12:

Interesting.

SPEAKER_08:

Kveater is a uh sort of drilling vehicle.

SPEAKER_12:

You can see them in Rickety Stitch book two and three. Um one I'm just gonna lay low until they leave. Do you want to follow those guys? Once they leave, we should ask Charlie. You want us to follow those guys? Okay.

SPEAKER_08:

No, I want to get out of here. We just keep winking. We just keep winking at him. Yeah, uh, Charlie like keeps looking over you and like shaking his head.

SPEAKER_06:

Yeah, they finally leave, and uh Charlie turns to you and says, I told you guys to leave, and you're just standing there like a couple idiots.

SPEAKER_02:

What are they claiming to be? I mean what are they planning to do with the cave eater, Charlie? We're gonna do this, we've got to do it as a team.

SPEAKER_08:

Like we heard we heard the whole thing, we still don't understand what's going on. Look, you're making me regret that I told you that I'm I'm working with Underbrink.

SPEAKER_06:

You see, the thing about uh spy networks is you can't uh mess with each other's work. The more people get involved, the easier it is to you know discover the spies.

SPEAKER_12:

I see what you're saying. I I have some kind of web.

SPEAKER_06:

You know? Yeah, you know, you gotta you gotta operate in your own cells, you know what I mean?

SPEAKER_08:

Like a honeycomb, like bees. Yeah. Now bees work together. But they have cells. So do prisons, then so there is yes, so do prisons indeed. You want to be in prison? Are you a quit coming around here? Are you the law? Six hours later, we finally leave. No, um, James, do you want to follow those guys?

SPEAKER_09:

Um, yeah, let's let's tail those guys, but like keep our distance because we don't want to screw up Charlie's thing.

SPEAKER_08:

Yeah. Um Ben, can I narrate that they're talking about their plan out loud as we uh follow them? Sure. Okay, uh let me see if I do this roll. I'm gonna I'm gonna rhyme for once, you know. And then Hooch and Brendo slip through the crowd. They followed the Goongas while they talked out loud. Hey, we're having uh Ben regrets inviting me on the stream. Uh inspire is a plus two, so that's gonna be a plus three bonus. Let's see where it goes. That's 11. Oh, wow. Nice nice noise. I want a bird that makes that sound. It's called the Nahana. Okay.

SPEAKER_06:

Um yeah, you overhear them uh talking about um how they're really gonna make some headway now.

SPEAKER_08:

So uh the boss will be happy.

SPEAKER_06:

Um make a sneak check. Sneak check.

SPEAKER_08:

Both of us are just uh yeah. Okay, I'm gonna use I'm gonna use blending into the crowd so I have an advantage on my sneak check. That's a 12, I wouldn't have needed it.

SPEAKER_09:

Oh 12.

SPEAKER_08:

Look at us, a couple of sneaky sneaks making snock cheeks, snuck cheeks. Yeah, so you're able to tail them like really easily. You follow them into the gutter span. Uh they're really bad at their jobs. And um they head to the Heartworm Hotel. Okay, Heartworm Hotel. Which is it sounds terrible, Ben.

SPEAKER_06:

A seedy real uh seedy place that uh once was an actual like luxury hotel, but it's since fallen in disrepair, taken over by the Tricky Tail gang, apparently, and um they're talking about uh the expansions that they're doing underneath the hotel.

SPEAKER_08:

So they're doing some expansions.

SPEAKER_10:

They're tunneling, they're like tunneling out a secret base.

SPEAKER_08:

Should we do it? We should report this to Under Rink. Yeah, we should like jet immediately. Yeah. For once we actually leave instead of persistent much to our own peril.

SPEAKER_07:

We're already tired from Marguerite filming for six hours. So yeah, Ben as a GMK.

SPEAKER_08:

Ben as a GM was is surprised because he was ready to just like throw 40 goons at us, but we've disappointed him.

SPEAKER_06:

No, no, that's uh makes me very happy.

SPEAKER_08:

We're actually doing something logical for once. You see, you see one of the goons like turn around just before he goes in, like eyeing to see if there's anyone following him, and then he shuts the door. All right. Amazing. We've actually done real detective work. Uh yeah, can we head back to the uh Penny Pandora's PG Pandora Cider House rules? Yes, yes. Um make a little trial check for it, though. I think, right? That's what you yeah, yeah. Go for it. Yeah. A realm Jeroni, hash uh eight. Uh I will not use a quest point. Okay. Um this works out for us, yeah. All right.

SPEAKER_06:

Guys are exhausted.

SPEAKER_08:

I mean, that's not inaccurate. Like, I feel like that's pretty pretty much tracks for the situation.

SPEAKER_06:

So that means you guys um have the tired condition. Okay. You also take 1d6 dread.

unknown:

Oh boy.

SPEAKER_08:

Oh, what? Oh, bad. It's terrible. Oh, it took six. We're both dead. Wander away. The most deadly travel check ever. I have nine, I'm down to five. And we're gonna get five. It's brutal. Yeah. Yeah. We we're gonna like crawl two.

SPEAKER_06:

Kind of we've we've had been we had an editor, another editor, look at some of the book and um kind of shoring up some things that I want to try out. Sure. So a travel day is uh divided into four uh turns.

SPEAKER_08:

So oh, so we're no longer two legs, we're four turns. Yeah. Okay. All right. So two turns in the day, two turns at night. And um oh, oh, that's interesting. Okay.

SPEAKER_06:

So today was night time. Today was this was today was your your time in Bog Town was the third turn. So you guys are coming up on the fourth, getting back to pennies. Uh to remove the tiredness, you're gonna have to like rest into tomorrow.

SPEAKER_08:

Yeah, like rest at least two turns, I would imagine, or something like that, right? Yeah so like tonight and part of the morning tomorrow. But normally you can just rest one turn. But if you're tired, if you you want to get rid of the tiredness, you gotta rest too. Uh Brendo refuses to get rid of the tiredness. No, cool. Um that that that actually makes a lot of sense, though. I like that. Um it's like slightly easier to get rid of that thing than before, I think, right? Yeah. Yeah, and there's just you know some vagaries, vagueness previously that kind of organized, organized. I like it. I like it all.

SPEAKER_06:

All right, so you make it back to pennies. Um what do you do? What do you do?

SPEAKER_08:

Uh talk to Brink and also get some grub and right before we collapse, we say Heartbreakho, Heartworm Hotel, uh tunneling, and then we just both pass out. Yeah, uh, underbrink has her usual like notes putting pieces of mysteries together.

SPEAKER_09:

It's like we go to her room, it's filled with just like stuff all over the walls and yarn kind of thing at all.

SPEAKER_08:

Yeah. And there's like a shrine of you too. There's like pictures of your faces, plaster everywhere. She's successful.

SPEAKER_07:

She ends up becoming the campaign's primary villain. The sociopaths are maybe we're like uh Harry and Lloyd in Dumb and Dumber, where everyone thinks that we're geniuses.

SPEAKER_08:

We're just so stupid, it's like unbelievable. I'm kind of getting that vibe from this uh this duo. This whole campaign. Yeah. We'll chase Dumb and Dumber. We're going to get a horse-drawn carriage that looks like a big fat dog head. Yes.

SPEAKER_09:

We're trying to raise money for our worm farm, is our new personal quest.

SPEAKER_08:

I'm in. I have to go rewatch that. And how many sequels were there?

SPEAKER_10:

I don't know.

SPEAKER_08:

Well, there was like Dumber and Dumberer, and then there was like something like an origin story. When Harry met Lloyd. Yeah.

SPEAKER_12:

Neither of those I've seen, but I knew what it was.

SPEAKER_08:

I appreciate you. Um let's see. We sleep. It works. Um we recover some hitapunta. Ooh. Doble twos. Plus our level, correct? Oh no, that's that's when you're that's when you session. Um you do get a bonus, however. Accept. You're gonna spend those two uh two turns sleeping? I'm gonna spend those two turns sleeping.

SPEAKER_10:

I am also.

SPEAKER_08:

Okay.

SPEAKER_06:

All right. You get a plus three. Um, also, you're gonna have to eat something, so you could spend that cash that you just made.

SPEAKER_08:

Uh I pull out the copper coin patch and I hand it to Hooch and I say, All right, Hooch, Fresc.

SPEAKER_10:

All right. Um I use it.

SPEAKER_12:

I'm sorry.

SPEAKER_06:

No, it's fine. It's fine. I love it. What would you like? Would you like uh Pandora's griddle picks? You want uh biscuits and gristle?

SPEAKER_11:

Yes. Biscuits and gristle.

SPEAKER_08:

I ordered chew on like horrible gristle off of bones and stuff. But there's biscuits in it. The gravy's gnarly in your gristle, yes, it's true. It's like a bowl of gristle with some biscuits floating in it. Oh, jeez.

SPEAKER_06:

Biscuits really gets you right here. Right here. Biscuits and gristle uh can give you plus one might or dread.

SPEAKER_08:

And the griddle cakes give you plus one vitality. Interesting.

SPEAKER_09:

I'm gonna take the I'm gonna take the the I'm gonna do the plus one mite for the gristle and the biscuits.

SPEAKER_08:

And how long does that last? Four benches a day? Like four turns.

SPEAKER_06:

Uh for the session. So hooch, uh you spent uh you spent the coins on the first go.

SPEAKER_08:

That's a really like powerful drawback.

SPEAKER_10:

I don't know.

SPEAKER_08:

I think that it's like I think it's it it's entertaining. Like I just, you know. I will not let you find anything more than copper. Oh, fair enough. I mean, it would have happened either way, you rolled a two.

SPEAKER_04:

Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_08:

That's true. So Brendo, are you gonna use your other coins? Oh, that didn't cover both of them. No.

SPEAKER_12:

Okay. Yeah, I'm gonna use all the coins.

SPEAKER_10:

Uh well, looks like we'll be fishing.

SPEAKER_06:

Yeah, penny. Uh Penny throws in some road bread, Pandora's road bread for you.

SPEAKER_08:

All right, we got some to go. So is that maybe like one additional ration? It's uh two. Okay, so I have three rations now. Perfect. That's hilarious. It's like I know it's gonna get spent. All right.

SPEAKER_11:

Uh well, we have food at least.

SPEAKER_08:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06:

Sorry, it it's one, but it counts as two when you roll it, like for two people.

SPEAKER_08:

Oh, gosh. Oh, okay. And do we each get one? No. No. No. No.

SPEAKER_06:

No.

SPEAKER_08:

No.

SPEAKER_06:

All right. All right, you guys uh eat up, you rest, and uh it's the next morning, or it's the next afternoon. You got uh one leg of travel or one uh turn of travel during the day that you can do. Uh where you where are you going?

SPEAKER_10:

I say we go to the Nakadonkey bayou and check the since I mean the eastern half of Quagmash feels a little bit safer because we can like bounce to skiff and then oh, I see.

SPEAKER_08:

Yeah, go to buyers. I mean, we've already faced gators. We're obviously masters of gators. Sure.

SPEAKER_09:

Gator masters. Yeah.

SPEAKER_08:

Masters of Gatorsky.

SPEAKER_09:

We could go to Anchor Bottom as well.

SPEAKER_08:

I don't think we've ever been to Anchor Bottom.

SPEAKER_11:

I don't think we've ever been there. Yeah. Yeah. Never even come close. We've never been to Bugbear Holler. We've never been to a lot of places.

SPEAKER_08:

I think we've been to Bugbear Holler.

SPEAKER_10:

Have we?

SPEAKER_08:

I think we have. Really?

SPEAKER_10:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_08:

Hmm. Okay.

SPEAKER_10:

So I would I would suggest we go to Nakadonkey Bayou and then to skiff.

SPEAKER_08:

I like it. Let's do it.

SPEAKER_10:

Because we can ask around.

SPEAKER_08:

On the on the trail of word, Chambre.

SPEAKER_09:

Yeah.

unknown:

Shh.

SPEAKER_09:

Is it my role or your role?

SPEAKER_08:

Uh my role. You're right. Thank you.

SPEAKER_09:

Oh my goodness gracious.

SPEAKER_08:

Oh, absolutely. Quattro, quattro, quattro. Okay. Uh roll it up. Roll a D100. What kind of shenanigans will we get into this time? 15. 15 bugbears holler at you.

SPEAKER_05:

Hey, get you. Do you holler back? Yes. Get off my property.

SPEAKER_08:

All the single bugbears, all the single bugbears.

SPEAKER_05:

You're ruining my moonshine still.

SPEAKER_06:

Guys are in the quagmash. Yeah. Uh hey, look, a classic PC steps in quicksand.

SPEAKER_05:

Oh wow.

SPEAKER_06:

Good thing you got those galoshes.

SPEAKER_05:

Yeah, no kidding.

SPEAKER_08:

But the question is who's wearing them? Are you wearing them, James? That's a great question. I don't know.

SPEAKER_10:

I didn't think I was, but we can roll it.

SPEAKER_08:

Slip a quick roll to see where the glasses fallen into quicksand. Yeah, yeah, okay, okay. All right. I'll I'll roll uh two. I'm wearing the galoshes. Okay, I'm wearing the galoshes. All right. Yeah, you want to roll to see. Which one of us is in? Sando.

SPEAKER_10:

Yeah, one or two, I'm in the sand.

SPEAKER_08:

Okay. I'm in the sand. Okay, sweet. That worked out.

SPEAKER_11:

That worked out. That worked out.

SPEAKER_08:

Yeah, I say, I'm not worried. I got these glasses on. And you just Hooch pulls me out of the glasses and they get swallowed in. Um, let's see if we can actually see if we can actually get out of this. We're so sad as a group. Yeah, you guys are just walking along trying to cross the bayou. And uh Brendo, you start on a bayou. I say, uh Hooch, is the world getting taller or am I getting shorter?

SPEAKER_02:

I never know, man.

SPEAKER_11:

No, I uh I'll I'm gonna sorry, go ahead.

SPEAKER_08:

Well, I mean, uh Brendo, you try to make a nobleness check. All right, good thing I have a bonus at all. Yeah. Uh B12 plus one. That's a six. I don't want the drawback to be that the galoshes are there, but that might be actually it. Um question is can we rescue them? Or Ben, can you think of can you think of another thing besides the galoshes that have slipped off?

SPEAKER_06:

Um I say if not the galoshes are random thing you're carrying.

SPEAKER_08:

I'd almost rather them be the galoshes. All of our food would be worse. Yeah. Alright. So yeah, let's say that the galoshes have have slipped off.

SPEAKER_02:

Uh god, I say so many resources, this quest. Hooch the galoshes. Let me see if I can get them.

SPEAKER_09:

I'll like reach in and then drown.

SPEAKER_08:

Yeah, I make uh okay, so use your man catcher.

SPEAKER_10:

Yeah, I'll try to use the man catcher to see if I can't grab them.

SPEAKER_08:

Alright, if you can't grab them, I'll use a power. It's like a uh a claw game situation. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04:

Okay.

SPEAKER_10:

The perspective shifts. What should I use? Athletics. Nimbleness.

SPEAKER_08:

Uh let you go with uh nimbleness or just make an attack roll. Neme bonus.

SPEAKER_10:

Alright, 10.

SPEAKER_08:

I made an attack roll.

SPEAKER_06:

Alright, you uh you get them, you're like, whoa!

SPEAKER_08:

They're hanging like I got a knob one!

SPEAKER_05:

All right, all right, all right, gently, gently, gently. Lower them down, lower them down.

SPEAKER_08:

He puts them right back into more quicksand.

SPEAKER_10:

I'll I'll accidentally dump them on top of him, and he's got like mud all over him now.

SPEAKER_08:

I say good catch, man catcher. Woof. Person catcher, people catcher, bogger catcher, bogger catcher.

SPEAKER_12:

Uh rest at the cider house.

SPEAKER_06:

Um well, uh it's already evening, as uh after this whole ordeal. Um here's how it works. You could push on, but you are risking becoming tired.

SPEAKER_08:

Uh yeah, and it's also diff more difficult to uh travel at night.

SPEAKER_10:

I think that we should make camp.

SPEAKER_08:

I think you're gonna say I think we should travel at night, but I agree with you.

SPEAKER_06:

So during camp, you can sit around, talk with each other, like like you're accustomed to doing, or you could uh go search for resources.

SPEAKER_08:

I want to search for resources because we're so poor right now.

SPEAKER_10:

Yeah, I was gonna say I'm gonna fish to see if I can't find some food.

SPEAKER_06:

Okay. So that yeah, that so basically how it's gonna work from now on, like you can um basically either or have time and talk with each other or search for resources, and then the next the fourth turn is like time to sleep, you know, or if you're tired, you would use both of those to like just to fully rest.

SPEAKER_08:

Got it. Yeah, I I'm gonna go maybe hunt for herbs and resources. Oh no, no, I'm gonna hunt for food so that we have ration. You're gonna hunt for fishing, right? Hunt for fishing. You're gonna hunt for fishing.

SPEAKER_11:

I'm going to dynamite some plastic water.

SPEAKER_08:

That's super on brand.

SPEAKER_11:

Actually, my name is Hooch Dundee, and I think Crocodile Dundee does use dynamite and water in one of the movies.

SPEAKER_00:

Oh.

SPEAKER_12:

So that's not how you want to do it. So it's on brand, you know what I mean. This is how you fish. This is how you fish.

SPEAKER_08:

Alright, let me roll a wilderness check for myself. Uh, I come back with company. Oh no. You come back with fish.

SPEAKER_12:

It's a 10.

SPEAKER_06:

Cool. That means uh you can roll up a fish. I got the table. Roll a D12. Eight. An eight, that means you get uh a Nacadonkey Reaver right out of the Nacadonkey bayou.

SPEAKER_12:

That's perfect.

SPEAKER_06:

Tell you what that does for you. What'd that do? That makes up makes a nice Naca donkey gumbo if you cook it up. That'll be plus one mite from the session.

SPEAKER_11:

Ooh. If we cook that up, I'll be plus two mite.

SPEAKER_09:

I love it. Let's do it. We'll hold on to our road bread.

SPEAKER_06:

Brendo, on the other hand, what did you get?

SPEAKER_08:

I got company. What was your total though? Two. Okay, yeah. Uh uh three? Would three matter? I forget. Yeah, it does. Oh, okay, yeah. So I'm gonna bump a quest point into that one.

SPEAKER_01:

Okay, you you just find nothing then.

SPEAKER_08:

Oh. Uh just cuts back to me combing the desert. The the alternative is you would get unwanted attention and raise your chance of uh an intrusion.

SPEAKER_12:

No, no, yeah. No, thank you.

SPEAKER_08:

No thank you. Yeah, you're gonna cook up some.

SPEAKER_12:

Yeah, let's do it.

SPEAKER_08:

Come on, hooch.

SPEAKER_09:

Fire it up, fire it up, fire it up fire it up, fire it up. Uh um what do I roll for cooking? Tinker. Oof. I will cook it up, but I'm minus two.

SPEAKER_08:

Does Brendo have better tinker? I do. Uh Tinker Taylor plus one bonus.

SPEAKER_09:

Tinker Taylor seven?

SPEAKER_08:

Excellent. Excellent.

SPEAKER_12:

Excellent.

SPEAKER_08:

It's not as good as the other fish I cooked in the past.

SPEAKER_06:

But it's good enough.

SPEAKER_08:

Can you craft the item? Um yeah, we get XP for that. Nice.

unknown:

Woof!

SPEAKER_08:

So as per the rules, uh it will feed one person because you uh rolled a seven. I give it to uh hooch. Really? I don't know, man. No, you you caught it. You eat it.

SPEAKER_02:

You sure you can answer I eat it.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah. Sure. Um flowers go around here.

SPEAKER_07:

That's good. I just said that this morning when I was driving.

SPEAKER_11:

Driving past a flowery hill, I screamed out, do flowers grow around here. You love it.

SPEAKER_08:

I love it too. Okay, so we're fed.

SPEAKER_06:

Now we sleep. Sorry, did you use a quest point?

SPEAKER_08:

Did I hear who? Brendo to not get unwanted attention. Yes, I did.

SPEAKER_06:

Cool. The night passes without incident, and uh Brendo.

SPEAKER_08:

I think you gotta use a ration or something, and then you guys are uh ready to go. I'm gonna use a ration, ration. Uh the uh regular rations are d6, correct?

SPEAKER_06:

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_08:

Look at that. Look at that.

SPEAKER_06:

So you can heal up. Um start a brand new day on the bayou.

SPEAKER_09:

Or not a bayou. I think I'm full, or I'm at 11, I think.

SPEAKER_08:

Gosh, I really, really, really can't get HP to save my life.

unknown:

I know.

SPEAKER_08:

I know. Literally to save my life.

SPEAKER_02:

This is the most dread we've ever taken without any conflict whatsoever.

SPEAKER_08:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

The elements are just destroying us.

SPEAKER_08:

Alright, next day. Alright.

SPEAKER_09:

Oh, uh, it's me. I'll roll it. That's a seven. Okay, that's a bummer. Towards skiff, though. Well, hopefully. Let's see what the bump of the road is. Roll a d6.

SPEAKER_11:

All right, Georgie.

SPEAKER_07:

That's a four.

SPEAKER_06:

That is a four. Four is bad weather.

SPEAKER_08:

Bad weather. It's raining on us.

SPEAKER_09:

We're in the mud. There's quicksand everywhere.

SPEAKER_08:

I turn it hoosh and I say uh I bet flowers grow around here with all this rain. Um, yeah, so the next check has a minus two. It's just pouring down, you guys. It's pretty miserable. I miss Bogtown. Yeah.

SPEAKER_09:

I miss Bogtown too.

SPEAKER_08:

Uh I make a travel check. Uh minus two, I think, actually.

SPEAKER_09:

I just rolled that one.

SPEAKER_08:

Oh, okay. Okay. So another travel check?

SPEAKER_09:

Yeah, one more.

SPEAKER_08:

Yeah, minus minus do.

SPEAKER_05:

Minus do?

SPEAKER_08:

Come on, plus one, so it's a minus one. That's a seven. That ain't the worst.

SPEAKER_06:

No.

SPEAKER_08:

Another bump on the road, buddy. All of our ration load.

unknown:

Inter.

SPEAKER_06:

That's what it is, yeah.

SPEAKER_12:

Yep.

SPEAKER_06:

Felts are going by the end of the day, just like you know, wet socks.

SPEAKER_10:

Soggy, covered in mud, yelling at each other.

SPEAKER_08:

Hooch actually has expanded to many times his size because of the water, just like being in work. I say, Hooch, you're crowding me on the path. It's not even a wide path. Can you please like give me some space?

SPEAKER_02:

I'm giving you all the space you can't walk over there.

SPEAKER_08:

I can't. It's your your mushroom. I don't know what is it called? Your hat thing?

SPEAKER_11:

Are you calling are you calling me fat? Is that what you're doing?

SPEAKER_08:

No, I see I'm saying you're absorbent. You've absorbed a lot of water. You're in my way.

SPEAKER_02:

But what if I have You know what?

SPEAKER_08:

Alright, you walk ahead. I will walk behind. I will bring up the rear.

SPEAKER_10:

I like walk ahead in a huff, and the only thing you can hear is like his galoshes squishing into the ground. Yeah.

SPEAKER_08:

Is this like your first argument? Like your first real like getting mad at each other? I mean, this is our first court-mandated argument.

SPEAKER_00:

Court mandated.

SPEAKER_10:

Yeah, it's I mean, outside of when I tried to turn him in for money.

SPEAKER_12:

Yeah, this is our first.

SPEAKER_06:

Um, do you guys think that it changes anything between you?

SPEAKER_10:

Um I I don't think this one does. The circumstances are two bumps in the road. Like, I don't know.

SPEAKER_08:

It was just miserable. I don't I don't think it wasn't.

SPEAKER_10:

We'll get into a fight when we go to sinkhole for sure.

SPEAKER_08:

Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_11:

Or skiff.

SPEAKER_10:

Sorry, skiff.

SPEAKER_08:

We're gonna be fine until we get to sinkhole, and then then all bets are off. Um then I'll find a way to sing the John and George.

SPEAKER_04:

He's over there.

SPEAKER_02:

He's over there. I don't care, we're not friends anymore. Call me fat.

SPEAKER_06:

All right, you guys are like close to skiff, but it's the end of the day.

SPEAKER_08:

Um you could try pushing it. I would say we should push it since it's right there, but yeah, let's do it. Uh is well, I did actually I just rolled, so Ben, we should be able to move, right? I moved you. Oh, you moved us. You moved us. It's slow going in the swamp. Oh, right. It's only yeah, okay. So uh I say, Brando, lead the way. I mean, that's me. Hoosh, lead the way.

unknown:

Right?

SPEAKER_06:

You'll both need to make vitality checks to not get tired.

SPEAKER_08:

So good thing I ate those uh panclocks. Uh so strong. Uh I have to use another quest point to bump that to a six. All right.

SPEAKER_06:

You push on.

SPEAKER_07:

Come on, Brendan. Oh god, take forever.

SPEAKER_08:

And now I just uh I'm playing music to myself to drown out Hooch's hoochiness.

SPEAKER_06:

Make that check.

SPEAKER_08:

Uh which check? The oh, the actual the actual yeah, roll. Oh, uh James, it's you. Oh my gosh, look at this back-to-back 12s, Bernard guiding them dice.

SPEAKER_10:

Guiding them dice. Double 12, y'all.

SPEAKER_08:

Dice who sasuces.

SPEAKER_10:

Ah nah, nahey.

SPEAKER_09:

Okay, um roll the demon 100. Oops, sorry. Sorry, I forgot to roll. One.

SPEAKER_08:

Wow. That's impressive.

SPEAKER_11:

That's wild. I'm glad I got that one out of my system on this, though.

SPEAKER_06:

Right? I feel like you guys might might have missed uh met this guy before.

SPEAKER_08:

Oh, they were saying you we might have messed this up, and I'm like, oh, alright.

SPEAKER_06:

Uh you on your as you're heading into Skiff, there is a kobold who stops you.

SPEAKER_07:

He says, Hey, hey, hey, hey.

SPEAKER_06:

Got any secrets? My name's uh Isaac. Got any secrets? I deal in secrets, okay? You give me some, I'll give you some.

SPEAKER_12:

Okay, yeah.

SPEAKER_03:

Um what is my secret?

SPEAKER_06:

Come on, any anything you know, you know. Any secret rumors.

SPEAKER_08:

Uh uh, I got a secret. I'm a bard. Uh yeah, it only matters in Vogtown. I'm gonna really nonchalantly. I'm gonna really nonchalantly. That's real great, buddy.

SPEAKER_07:

After right after he says that, I'm gonna really nonchalantly say, like, the tricky toes of building some sort of secret base underneath the hotworm hotel. I like it. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

Oh, and while we're at it, we're looking for Harmony. One at a time, what at and we're working for Underbrink. I got a million of them.

SPEAKER_06:

Hooch. Hooch. Who's underbrink?

SPEAKER_02:

She's a detective in Bogtown.

SPEAKER_06:

Oh, yeah. Kate Ketterin. Oh, yeah. Kate Ketterin. That's good stuff right there.

SPEAKER_07:

Yeah, they're like buddies or whatever.

SPEAKER_06:

All right.

SPEAKER_10:

I start to walk off, having completely forgotten he's gonna give us a secret.

SPEAKER_02:

Hey, where are you going? Oh, I forgot. Sorry. You got a secret for us?

SPEAKER_06:

Uh yeah, I do. Get it. Wait on me, buddy. You ever heard of Long John's McGill?

SPEAKER_08:

Is that some kind of gorilla?

SPEAKER_06:

No, it's a guy. He's putting together a hunting party. They're gonna go kill the great white riversaw. Really? Is that a secret? Uh yeah, because everyone's after him. Everyone's after the riversaw. It's like this uh competition, basically.

SPEAKER_10:

Oh, interesting.

SPEAKER_12:

And so uh it's a secret that this guy's after the riversaur?

SPEAKER_06:

It's a secret that he's putting together a hunting party, okay? Oh, okay. All right. I see what you're saying.

SPEAKER_12:

Uh I like the cut of your jib. Um cool.

SPEAKER_06:

Cool. I got another secret for you. Lay it on me. You know, there's this uh place down uh down south called Dark Shroom Tower. Full of cultists kidnap people.

SPEAKER_08:

Shroom Tower?

SPEAKER_06:

Kidnap people.

SPEAKER_09:

Yeah. That's horrible. Do you know what for?

SPEAKER_06:

Uh you know, well, I don't know what what a cultists do anything for.

SPEAKER_08:

Uh serve their evil lord.

SPEAKER_06:

Exactly. Exactly.

SPEAKER_08:

I mean, I should know I'm a cultist, it's fine.

SPEAKER_06:

A secret. Wait, you're a cultist?

SPEAKER_08:

Yeah, the cult of Bard.

SPEAKER_07:

Okay.

SPEAKER_08:

Give me another secret. Come on.

SPEAKER_07:

He's just being smart.

SPEAKER_06:

He's being smart.

SPEAKER_02:

He's being smart with you.

SPEAKER_06:

Hey, you ever heard of the lost willows? No. They say the trees themselves snatch up travelers who dare go in there.

SPEAKER_05:

Is that near here? I look at the trees.

SPEAKER_06:

Nope, it's down down south. Oh, that's where we're going. Oh, yeah. Why are you going there?

SPEAKER_07:

We're looking for Harren Twinbeard. You seen him? Oh.

SPEAKER_06:

Well, I heard he might be down there. Uh, east or west, by chance. By chance. Well, he might be in the lost willows. The lost willows.

SPEAKER_08:

East or west. We don't understand that.

SPEAKER_06:

That's southwest from here.

SPEAKER_08:

We're holding the map upside down. You mean southeast?

SPEAKER_06:

No, you gotta turn that around. We don't teach you that in Bard School.

SPEAKER_08:

Uh we're gonna go.

SPEAKER_07:

I point to a spot on the map that's clearly a mustard stain. So you're staying around here.

SPEAKER_06:

Uh no, that that's uh that's the drippy down. Got it, got it. Look, look, I'll show you right here.

SPEAKER_08:

Okay.

SPEAKER_11:

Okay.

SPEAKER_08:

Yeah, right here. All right.

SPEAKER_11:

So we'll uh what do you say, George? We go to sinkhole.

SPEAKER_08:

Yeah, let's shoot over to sinkhole. Wait, we're in skiff. We should bed down for the night.

SPEAKER_11:

Yeah, right. We need to rest, but this is good. We're we're we're narrowing in on twin beard.

SPEAKER_08:

Progress.

SPEAKER_09:

Indeed. Make us some crazy good progress.

SPEAKER_06:

Anyway, that was uh that was good for me. Was it good for you? Yeah. All right.

SPEAKER_09:

Let's see what head on in. He's like going to the same place. He's gonna stay in our room.

SPEAKER_02:

You're not using the tub, are you? Puts a bale two in it.

SPEAKER_06:

Right. Uh yeah, you guys head into skiff. Um it's probably a good place to stop here. Yeah. Um skiff is this uh they call it the last stop before the slop. Okay.

SPEAKER_08:

You know, they say uh choosy moms choose skiff. Yeah, I'm just saying. Wow.

SPEAKER_09:

Oh, that's classic, if you ask me. What things are classic?

SPEAKER_08:

It's uh regular Vlasic, if you will.

SPEAKER_11:

It's a regular classic. Right. Go stuff.

SPEAKER_08:

Uh let's do some uh XP Z.

SPEAKER_12:

Yeah, let's do that. XP sasuces Munoz. Frankie Munoz.

SPEAKER_06:

Okay, um you did complete a quest by uh giving Charlie the part. Did you encounter a new creature? Uh I don't think so.

SPEAKER_08:

Quicksand. It's a living thing.

SPEAKER_06:

Significant NPC encounter.

SPEAKER_09:

Um Charlie Charlie, I'd say found out he was working for Underbring? Like, did we already have a significant counter with Charlie?

SPEAKER_08:

Uh we we did like a new aspect of the relationship. Um I don't know if that's how that works. Except we were with him for six hours.

SPEAKER_07:

I mean, it's gonna be worse.

SPEAKER_08:

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You solve a problem in a creative way. Uh, I mean the quicksand? No. Not really. Um what else? No, not really, I don't think. Yeah. Get into peril or hijinks? Definitely.

SPEAKER_06:

Yes. Did you travel 10 or more hexes? Let's see.

SPEAKER_08:

Yeah, I'm gonna go with a yes on that. I think so. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven.

SPEAKER_04:

What?

SPEAKER_10:

We we started here. We were robbed!

SPEAKER_08:

Two, one, three, two, three, four, five, six, seven, six, seven, eight, nine. That's not how it worked. Um, shucks. We were so close.

SPEAKER_06:

Uh explore a new location or point of interest.

SPEAKER_08:

Um that could be bayou. I guess. Yeah, definitely. Bayou Safesh. Didn't really explore it though.

SPEAKER_04:

Right.

SPEAKER_08:

It explored us, I would say.

SPEAKER_06:

Crafted an item. Some cooking.

SPEAKER_08:

Yeah, should we got some cooking in there? Some chuchin'.

SPEAKER_06:

So I'm gonna call that 4XP.

SPEAKER_08:

And I don't think anyone did ideals and flaws. I did not. I did. Well, so my new ideal and new flaw is so kind of. Uh it's the story exchange, you know, learner tell a story. Did I not who didn't I ask someone about the story of the tavern, or did he really just kind of like brush that off?

SPEAKER_06:

Um yeah, that might have been my bad.

SPEAKER_08:

I was I didn't know that you were. I was angling for that. I thought you were just trying to poke holes in uh logic. Which is, you know what, in all fairness, that's that is my um I've conditioned you to feel that way. I was really trying to get like the story of that area, but no, no, no, that's fine. Uh I I will explicitly say that next time I'm trying to do it. I think that would be like the most fair thing to do because most of the time I am just trying to flaw it and doing a bad job of it.

SPEAKER_06:

Uh yeah, you know, there was an opportunity guy for you guys to uh I don't know, do some relationship stuff when you're arguing, arguing, but I don't I don't know where that would go.

SPEAKER_08:

I I feel like that shouldn't necessarily count because it didn't like it's not gonna change our relationship long term.

SPEAKER_10:

Yeah, I just kind of figured it was just a horrible trip. But um that means there's opportunities, uh you know.

SPEAKER_06:

Around the corner. Yes. Okay. So next time, um guess we'll head to sinkhole.

SPEAKER_08:

Yep. Head into that sinkhole in the center and into the lost willows.

SPEAKER_06:

All right, cool. Um any any parting words?

SPEAKER_10:

Um yeah, I mean, if you uh are interested in playing Land Beam, checking out this sandbox or getting your hands on the rules, like we said at the beginning, you can check out landaveam.com or click on any of the links below this video on YouTube. Um you can also check it out at Drive ThruRPG and do sign up for the newsletter because we'll be we'll be you'll get lots of frequent updates about um the game itself as well as the upcoming crowdsource campaign.

SPEAKER_08:

Excellent. Until next week. Take it easy, everybody. Take care. Bye.

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Ben Costa

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George Higgins

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James Parks

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