Your Money, Your Rules | Financial Planning, Budgeting, Scarcity Mindset, Financial Freedom, Online Business

100 | 100th Episode Celebration🎉: Answering Your Questions About Money

• Erin Gray | Financial Coach, Former Certified Financial Planner and CFO

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In this special 100th episode, I am celebrating YOU, me and our incredible journey together!  Thank you for being part of this journey. I’m beyond grateful for each and every one of you who has supported the podcast, shared your feedback, and sent in your amazing questions. 🙏💖

When I first started this podcast, my goal was simple: to share my voice and knowledge with the world, uncensored and authentic. What I quickly realized, though, was that money was a topic that resonated deeply with so many of you. Some of my most downloaded episodes have been about money, and that’s when I realized it was time to focus all my energy on this topic. 

As I connected with listeners and clients, I saw firsthand the struggles, fears, and confusion surrounding finances. It became clear that money was the key to helping women create the life they truly desired. 

That's when I felt a deep calling to shift the podcast’s direction. Instead of covering a broad range of topics, I decided to niche down and focus exclusively on empowering women to take control of their money, build confidence, and create financial freedom. That's how Your Money, Your Rules was born—a podcast dedicated to helping women take charge of their financial futures. 

I’m excited for what we’re going to create together over the next 100 episodes. Thank you for being here and sharing your time with me—I truly value you. 

Erin

Want to learn more? Here are your next steps:

Step 1: Join my FREE Facebook Community.

Connect, share, and learn how to master your money with other women just like you.

➡️ Join here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/941450038160915

Step 2: Grab your FREE Human Design chart

Curious what your Human Design chart reveals about how you're uniquely designed to make aligned financial decisions?

➡️ Get your chart here: https://generatealifewelllived.com/receive-your-human-design-chart

Step 3: Ready to transform your relationship with money and build true financial confidence?

Let’s create a strategy that feels aligned, intentional, and empowering—just for you.

➡️ Schedule your 1-hour Money Mastery Call here: https://generatealifewelllived.com/11-support

Money doesn't have to feel overwhelming. Let's create a strategy that feels nurturing and custom to you.

From my soul to yours,

Erin

Erin Gray:

Our feelings are an inside job right. It's our responsibility to generate that, you know. That is one of the reasons why I named my company Generate a Life Well-Lived because we generate everything from within first Our health, our wealth, love, all of it. Do you wanna create a system to stop avoiding your money? Maybe you're feeling guilt and shame when it comes to finances. Welcome to your Money, your Rules.

Erin Gray:

I'm Erin, a former certified financial planner and CFO, and yet I used to avoid my money and had fear, no matter how much we had. I can't wait to teach you how I overcame my money avoidance and started consistently managing my finances in a really simple way. It's time to get comfortable with money. I know the fear that you're feeling right now because, like me and so many of my other clients, they have been exactly where you have been worrying about whether you're truly making the right decisions with your money. Maybe you're feeling anxious about whether you're saving enough, investing wisely, or even if you're even doing the right things at all. The pressure can feel overwhelming, like a constant weight you're carrying. You may wonder if you're qualified to even manage your finances or if you're even on the right path. I want you to know you are not alone in these fears. Every woman that I have ever helped who has overcome her financial overwhelm has felt the exact same way that you do right now. Every success story it begins with someone saying I'm going to take control, I'm going to choose differently. And even though the fear feels real in your body, the truth is you can still take charge of your money and make empowered decisions. If you're ready to stop letting fear hold you back, if you're ready to break free from feeling stuck or unsure about your financial future, then today is the day to make that change. I'm here to help you do it. I'll walk beside you, guiding you every step of the way. Together, we'll work through the fear, break down the emotional barriers and help you create a plan that makes sense and feels good for you, so you can finally feel calm and confident with your money. If you're ready to take charge of your money and make the changes you've been longing for, I want you to say yes For once. Say yes to you. Let's work together and overcome that fear. You can head over to my website, generatealifewelllivedcom to schedule your one-hour session and let's get started.

Erin Gray:

Hello, my friends. Episode 100. Can we just celebrate? Celebrate you celebrate me, celebrate all the growth that we've had. I don't think we celebrate enough. That's something, that's a skill set that I've really worked through, worked on, I should say, over the last couple of years is to just celebrate everything, to look at how far I've come versus how far I need to go. So I just want to say, if you've been around for a while, thank you for and I might cry and I'm going to let that be there but just thank you for tuning in every week. I show up for myself, I show up for you because I truly believe that more women need to. You know, I don't want to say need to, but changing the way that we view money, changing our relationship with money, I think we can change the world, and so I'm just so grateful for each of you that have tuned in every week. For those of you that are new here, welcome. I'm so glad you're here.

Erin Gray:

So I thought what would be fun is. I asked in my email list and also in my Facebook community money mindset tips for women in business. I asked what are some questions that you have? And so I have a couple of questions that I'm going to go over. So I'm just going to dive into the questions that you guys have submitted, okay.

Erin Gray:

So Carmen asked what is 5D and what does that mean in terms of money? So, if you've heard me, there's I think there's one or two episodes that I have around what I call the 3D and the 5D of money. And so 5D refers literally to like the fifth dimension, right. It's a concept commonly used in spiritual and metaphysical circles and it's a way of understanding more conscious and intuitive, expansive way of being right. So if you think about, it's what you can't see, it's sensations, it's feelings. So, in terms of money, 5d to me means how I use, it, means more about the energetics, how I feel right when I'm interacting with my money, versus the actual physical, tangible actions that I'm taking right.

Erin Gray:

So it could represent, depending on where you are right, a shift from fear-based, scarcity driven thinking, which is a lot of times more often linked to that 3d or lower dimensional thinking, to one of abundance, flow, trust in the universe. So it's something that when I say the 5d, you can't. You can't see it, but energy is always moving around us, right. So in the context of money, people see money not as something to hoard or to control, but as something that, because in the 5D energy flows right, energy is always flowing, is always flowing, circulating. So in the context of money, 5d people see money not as something to hoard or to control, but as energy right that flows, circulates and supports our highest good. You know, in a 5D mindset you embrace abundance and recognize that you align with financial ease and freedom through trust and flow, rather that fear and control.

Erin Gray:

So I would ask when I talk about you know, I put my coaching hat on and I'm like okay, so let me talk about like, let's actually talk about the 5D. When we're talking about, let's say, we're looking at your books or we're looking at your personal finances and we're actually doing the tasks of like getting clear on where you are factually with money, then the 5D would be and how do, how do you feel when you see these numbers? That's the 5D. Thanks, carmen, for asking that question and clearing that up. Okay, michelle asked how do I stop being clingy with money? So let's I'll define my definition of clingy.

Erin Gray:

I think being clingy with money often means being overly attached or fearful about losing it. So this could show up as either excessive saving, maybe refusing to spend, or spending very minimally, or constantly worrying about the future, right, this comes back to. It's rooted a lot of times in scarcity thinking and a lack of trust in the flow of life, the flow of money and in our abilities to create more. So how do you get out of being clingy is always celebrate where you are right. You notice that you are acting clingy and I don't want to say being clingy, because being is is our identity, right? You're just acting clingy with money. So celebrate and notice where you are acting clingy with money, right. Where does it show up? Where are your triggers? When does this arise? What are you doing?

Erin Gray:

And being really clear on what creates the action of feeling clingy, and then start working on shifting. You know your mindset, somatic practices, right? Do you want to practice breathing when you notice yourself feeling clingy? Do you want to do some EFT tapping? Do you want to do some breath work to move some of that energy? Every time I think that we are in some type of scarcity mindset, it's coming up to be released. That's energy there that has been suppressed and repressed and we want to move through that.

Erin Gray:

So start focusing on sufficiency and reminding yourself that money is a tool, right. It's not a source of security, because if it was a source of security, everybody that has money all of them would feel secure. And we know that that's not true, because if you talk to some people that have money, they don't feel secure. There is nothing ever outside of us that will ever create the feeling within us, and I know that we have been taught, at least in society, that that is true, right, oh, if you buy this, you know, face stuff, it's going to make you look X, y, z. If you, you know, drive this car, it'll make you feel. But it doesn't, because our feelings are an inside job. Right, it's our responsibility to generate that, you know. That is one of the reasons why I named my company generate a life well-lived because we generate everything from within first, our health, our wealth, love, all of it, and so really starting to notice oh, where am I thinking that something is outside of me?

Erin Gray:

So, training your nervous system. You know that it's okay to experience joy and fun and ease. I think that is a big one for myself and clients is do we have the capacity to have things with ease? We've been taught by a lot of our parents that we have to struggle and we have to work hard and society does this too right, like even the business world. It's like hustle to make your you know business work. It's like, why aren't we talking about this with ease? I think a lot of times if I were to ask a question like, do you feel successful or do you feel wealthy? Most of the times people might say yes, but then if I were to add on the word with ease, then that might change. So, really starting to train your nervous system to have ease and joy and love easily, you know easy, easily.

Erin Gray:

So start slow, I always say, and start small. You know what is something that you want that you aren't allowing yourself to have, and so what is that dollar amount? You know, I wouldn't say, if you're not used to spending any money on yourself, then go take yourself on a 10 day vacation, like that's too far of a jump for your nervous system. But what is something that you could start doing on a consistent basis and spending money on yourself and noticing what comes up for you. And the next step is, you know, letting go of fear, which I think the way to let go of fear is you actually have to take action, taking small, intentional steps to release the fear around spending or saving. Start spending on things you love that add value to your life. If you're notorious for not spending money on yourself, then maybe you need to start with like I don't know monthly pedicure or massage. Or just notice the resistance to when I say those things and maybe you know a pedicure and a massage isn't your thing. But what is that you enjoy doing that you're not currently doing because you might feel shame or guilt.

Erin Gray:

And they always say you know, in order to practice generosity, give money away right In small ways to shift your energy. Because when someone truly feels abundant, they just give because they know more is coming. So it can be something as simple as donating to different charities that you care about tipping really well. Like that's always fun, I love to tip well. And then I love to think about like how is this server going to get to use that money? Like that's so fun. It's signaling to the universe that you are abundant, right, that you have more than enough. More is on its way.

Erin Gray:

Okay, chrissy asked how do we release fear around money? And I know that this might seem similar to the previous question that Michelle asked about being clingy with money, but I wanted to put this in here because I think our brains are really sneaky around, how they present themselves, right, fear, clinginess, controlling that, ultimately, like at the base of it, really, yes, there's, we have lots of emotions, but really I always ask myself am I moving from a place of fear or love? One is expansive, one is very, you know, contracting and limiting. So, like I mentioned in the previous answer, just acknowledge the fear. Fear around money is common and it can stem from a lot of times, from our past experiences growing up, what our parents talked about money, cultural conditioning, even our personal insecurities. So it's important to acknowledge that the fear is there versus trying to push it away. Like I think sometimes we recognize that we're in fear and then we're so quick to just be like I want to get out of it, but that's still resistance.

Erin Gray:

So allowing it, doing inner child work and talking about like, what do you need? What do you need in this moment? And allowing that sensation in your body to come up and out. What does that little girl inside of you need in the moment? Does she need a hug? Does she need just like a touch on the face to let her know that you're going to be okay and that you're here for her. You know, many of us weren't given the opportunity to talk about our fears when we were little. We were told to keep going or it's not that bad Right, and so we just repressed it and suppressed it. So our fear shows us what needs to be seen and I think that this is a perfect time, like I mentioned just, to do some inner child healing work.

Erin Gray:

I don't necessarily like the word healing as if, like, at some point we're going to be all done. I just think that we just keep having, you know, new levels. You know you've heard the term like new levels, same devil. So it's just what do you need in that moment? What? What is asking to be seen, to be heard, to be felt and then releasing the fear is reframing right your beliefs, examining your beliefs about money Are they based on past traumas? Maybe some scarcity? Replacing those negative beliefs with empowering ones, like we truly have to rewire our neural pathways, talking about telling yourself there's always enough, finding evidence, how is you know there's always enough sunshine, there's always enough leaves, there's always enough trees, there's always enough oxygen? There's like, really start to think, to look at where is there always enough leaves, there's always enough trees, there's always enough oxygen, there's like really start to look at where is there always enough.

Erin Gray:

I think also to practicing gratitude, and I don't think that this is like gaslighting yourself, like how practice gratitude when you're feeling really in scarcity? Think first you always need to feel what you're feeling and then get in the habit of practicing gratitude for the money that you have. Right, money loves to be appreciated, it loves to support you. I think it has both masculine and feminine qualities, right? The masculine part is it loves to support you and the feminine is like it loves to be appreciated and paid attention to. So how can you do both of those so it can continue to support you? How has it always supported you all of your life? How has it always supported you? How does it want to be around you?

Erin Gray:

Like really starting to get curious and asking your brain and finding the evidence for that and then, obviously, taking action. What are those small steps that you're going to start doing to take action, even when you're feeling that fear? You know fear isn't necessarily stop, it's move forward, have courage and come out on the other side. Having grown, having learned a lesson, I think a lot of times we think fear is bad or that means we need to stop. Yeah, fear like oh my gosh, I'm going to get out of the road because I see this person driving crazy yeah, that's helpful. Fear of oh, I don't want to invest in myself or my business because I'm afraid not helpful. So thank you, chrissy, for asking that question. Okay, the last one is Lindsay asked feeling overwhelmed with a budget. Where do I start? And I know I sound like a broken record, but it's always starting small.

Erin Gray:

I think I was just having this conversation with a client yesterday. We we think everything has to be perfect, we think everything needs to be just so before we get started, but it actually stops us from getting started because nothing is ever going to be perfect and when we live in that fantasy world, it's just. It's just a way to keep us exactly where we are. So how can you get started right now? Right, break down some of these overwhelming tasks into manageable chunks. This is also something that I do with my clients. It's like really getting clear and it's a lot of fun when you're doing work, you know, on your money with somebody else, so it doesn't feel so heavy. So if that's something that you're wanting to do. I'll provide the link in the show notes and we can really work through. You know, in an hour, get some clarity around your financial position and next steps.

Erin Gray:

So focus on one thing at a time, rather than trying to overhaul everything at once. Here's another way that our brain tries to trick us or tries to stop us. Right, you start seeing all of these different things and then you just think, oh, my goodness, I have to do all of this stuff. And I feel so overwhelmed versus, okay, I'm just gonna see, I'm gonna pull up my credit card statement, I'm gonna see everything that we spent our money on over the last month. Like, just start there, just start tracking your spending.

Erin Gray:

Simple spreadsheets, you know, I don't even think we need to get into if it's, if, if you're using a spreadsheet currently and it's when I say working, like, okay, I don't really want to do a software program, then just use the Excel spreadsheet. You can download your credit card statement into an Excel spreadsheet and then you can itemize based on categories. So don't worry about budgeting yet. Just gather the data, just notice the sensations you're feeling in your body, like there's so much goodness and awareness, and just noticing how you're feeling as you're doing this exercise, and then the next step would just be, you know, starting a basic budget.

Erin Gray:

Start by categorizing your expenses right. What are the needs versus want, or what I call fixed expenses versus discretionary expenses? You could do like a 50, 30, 20, like 50% would be fixed expenses, 30 would be discretionary. So fixed is like things that aren't going to change your mortgage, your car payment. Discretionary is going to be food or shopping or personal care, and then the 20% would be savings and investments. Now, depending on your percentages, if you're off, it's okay, right, we can, we can change it, we can allocate it, and then we can work up to that and just decide on.

Erin Gray:

You know where are you spending your money and is it an alignment with your values? You know, a exercise I always have for clients are like what are your top three values? Because if you're not spending in alignment with your values, that might be where some of the emotions you know spending in alignment with your values, that might be where some of the emotions you know the guilt is coming from. And also really getting clear. When you know, right, how do we go somewhere, we plug the location into the GPS. So if you don't know what your values are or you haven't really sat down to think about that, then how you spend your money, how you invest your money, might be a little cloudy because you aren't clear on your values so often.

Erin Gray:

You know, we associate budgets with restriction, and I really like to look at budgets as a way that it supports my lifestyle and keeps me on track to spending what is in alignment for us. And then, once you've done that, just review and adjust regularly, right? There've been times maybe a year or two ago we valued certain things. We don't value them as much anymore, so we've just shifted the way that we spend our money. It's totally fine. You can always make a new decision. So your budget isn't set in stone, right. Regularly check in with it, adjust it as your needs change and then celebrate how far you've come. Right.

Erin Gray:

Who is the woman that sits down and looks at her money on a consistent basis? And what does consistent mean to you? Does it mean weekly? Does it mean daily? Does it mean monthly, like what is that number for you? But who is the woman that takes care of her money? Who is the woman that loves to be with her money?

Erin Gray:

So thank you, lindsay, for submitting that question, and I just want to say that everybody starts somewhere and we don't have to compare ourselves to someone else. We just need to start comparing ourselves to how far we've come right. What's the? Are you 1% better than you were last week? Are you intentionally working on your money beliefs and how you feel with money in your relationship with money? Then applaud yourself and give yourself an attagirl for doing this work. This isn't easy work and appreciate yourself and give yourself so much love for doing it. Okay, that's what I've got for you. I just want to say thank you, thank you. Thank you so much for making 100 episodes possible for tuning in weekly. Also, for those of you that submitted your questions, I'm excited for where the next hundred episodes are going to go and I'm also so proud of myself for completing the a hundred episodes.

Erin Gray:

If you're looking for a community of women who are in the same boat as you are in regards to transforming their relationship with money and you really want to connect, learn from others and also get some questions answered, I would love to have you inside my Facebook community money mindset tips for women in business. You can click on the link in the show notes or go to just Facebook groups and Google. Not Google, but search in the Facebook. Money mindset tips for women in business. Okay, I'll see you in the next episode. Did you learn something today? Do you know another female entrepreneur who might be avoiding her money? Will you send this episode over to her for me and, if you have it in you, please leave me a review for this podcast. It helps the show grow and I love hearing from you. See you next week.