Your Money, Your Rules | Financial Planning, Budgeting, Scarcity Mindset, Financial Freedom, Online Business

102 | 3 Questions I asked myself to get clear on my money blocks

• Erin Gray | Financial Coach, Former Certified Financial Planner and CFO

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Our relationship with money is fundamentally about belief systems, not bank account balances as the financial industry would have us believe.  In this episode, I share 3 powerful questions that helped me transform my own scarcity mindset to one of sufficiency and abundance.

You'll learn to identify the money messages from your past, recognize emotional triggers, and adopt new beliefs that align with an abundant life. I also explore viewing money as a neutral tool and simple practices to stay grounded during overwhelming financial moments. 

This work not only brings personal financial freedom, it also creates a positive legacy for our future generations.  Imagine who you would be with an easeful relationship with money?


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Step 3: Ready to transform your relationship with money and build true financial confidence?

Let’s create a strategy that feels aligned, intentional, and empowering—just for you.

➡️ Schedule your 1-hour Money Mastery Call here: https://generatealifewelllived.com/11-support

Money doesn't have to feel overwhelming. Let's create a strategy that feels nurturing and custom to you.

From my soul to yours,

Erin

Erin Gray:

Have you ever felt like, no matter how much money you make, how much you've invested, doesn't feel like enough? Maybe you feel guilty for spending or fear that you're going to run out at some point? I've been there and the truth is it wasn't about my bank account. It was about my belief systems. So today I'm going to share three powerful questions that I asked myself to uncover my own money blocks and shift into a healthier, more sufficient and abundant relationship with money. Do you want to create a system to stop avoiding your money? Maybe you're feeling guilt and shame when it comes to finances.

Erin Gray:

Welcome to your Money, your Rules. I'm Erin, a former certified financial planner and CFO, and yet I used to avoid my money and had fear, no matter how much we had. I can't wait to teach you how I overcame my money avoidance and started consistently managing my finances in a really simple way. It's time to get comfortable with money. Before we dive into this week's episode, I want to invite you to join me for a one-on-one master your money coaching session. During this hour. We'll work together to create a tailored plan that helps you align your finances with your unique goals, energy and mindset. If you're ready to transform your relationship with money and create the freedom and abundance you deserve. Head over to my website generatealifewelllivedcom and schedule your session.

Erin Gray:

I know I've talked in previous episodes that for years probably from 20 to 40, you know my working life I was so focused on making more money, investing more money, and even though when I hit those financial goals I still felt stressed guilty and outsourcing some of my power to our advisors, and then that's when, you know, I realized that it wasn't just about earning and investing more. I think, really, when it hit home to me is when I decided to take time off. It was really getting down and uncovering those beliefs that were running in the background. You know my financial decisions and I started asking myself deep, uncomfortable questions and also taking action, because I believe it's when we take action that it brings up our belief systems and that's when things actually started to change. I think a lot of times, maybe with self-development, we want to sit and journal about stuff, which I think does have its place, but sometimes we can get so heady with our journaling or trying to change beliefs versus just going and taking action, and then it's going to, it's going to bring up those things and then that gives us those that opportunity to work through that. So the first question that I asked is what stories about money did I inherit from my family?

Erin Gray:

You know we all grew up with hearing different messages about money, right, whether it might be. Money doesn't grow on trees, or you have to work hard for money, or that's expensive. I was just talking to a client this week about she was making a comment about it's oh, that's really expensive. Oh, that's really expensive. She was making a comment about it's oh, that's really expensive. Oh, that's really expensive. Oh, that's really expensive. And I'm like is it really expensive or is it more so that you don't value the amount that is being charged for what you're going to receive in return? So if you can flip the switch on some of those things because expensive to me feels very, on some of those things because expensive to me feels very, I can't have energy. Versus I'm choosing not to buy this because I don't see the value in the price that they're charging.

Erin Gray:

You know these beliefs that we have from childhood. They shape everything, how we earn our money, right? If you believe that you have to work hard for money which is what I grew up believing then you will right. I worked a lot of hours, I was stressed a lot because that's the way I thought money was created. So it affects or it shapes right how we earn, how we spend or invest our money, how we save it right, without, if we're not aware, without even realizing it. So ask yourself and it could be good for you to take some of these questions and just sit in journal and get really clear on a piece of paper what did I hear about money growing up? Or for some of you it might be what did I not hear? Maybe your parents didn't talk about money at all and that was hush hush, like that was a bad thing to discuss money. So were you left to figure it out and how is that still showing up in your life today?

Erin Gray:

Number two is what emotions come up when I think about money. So money isn't just about numbers. In the beginning, right when we are doing this work, it is so deeply emotional and so often the financial advisor that you have or the CPA wants to talk numbers with us, right, and in a way it's like money is just numbers and money isn't just numbers, right, money is just literally numbers on a piece of paper, and also it is so emotional. So if we haven't gotten to the space where our body feels neutral about it, it's not just numbers, right. They're highly emotional and sometimes it's deeply triggering. So do you feel stressed about money, or guilty or ashamed when you think about your finances or how you interact with your finances? Those emotions are really good clues to those deeper money blocks that you might be having. You know, I always say our emotions are an invitation for us to go inward and to have more compassion for ourselves.

Erin Gray:

So what do you need in this moment when you're feeling stressed or ashamed, or you're feeling guilty? Do you need to put your hand on your heart? Do you want to speak kindly to yourself? Do you need to make yourself your favorite beverage and sit for a bit? Maybe you just need to focus on your breathing. You know you could do box breathing. You could just notice is your breast shallow? Is it really deep in your belly? Like what are you feeling in your body? Just being aware of that and asking yourself you know, when I check my bank account or make a financial decision, what are the emotions that are coming up? Where do those feelings come from?

Erin Gray:

And then I think, I mean, I think it's all powerful, but really we have to focus on what's the story that we want to believe about money? I think sometimes we can get into continuing to talk about what we grew up with and all of that which has its place, and also focusing and spending equal, if not more, amount of time of what do I want to believe about money. Right, Once you identify your old money beliefs, you get to rewrite your financial story. I think the greatest thing we can do for ourselves and our children is to change the trajectory of where we are going. Many of us came from families with scarcity mindset. Right, our parents, our parents, parents like it's generational, it's in the DNA. We get to help our children have a different childhood and different belief systems and emotions around money. And if your kids are grown, I want to say it's not too late. When you change your beliefs and your state of being around money, it trickles down to your kids. You know conversations with your adult children can change because of how you change your relationship with money.

Erin Gray:

So, instead of believing that money is stressful, what if you started believing that money is a tool? What if we just got to neutrality? Can we agree that money is just a tool, like if you were to use I mean, I'm not so great in the yard but my husband is and he has all these different tools and if he wanted me to use a rake, but I showed up with a shovel, the shovel isn't bad, it's just not the best tool for the job, right? So if money can be like a rake and we can think of it just as a tool, then you get to have more choice and freedom because of the money that you have. You get to decide how do you want to use this tool and ask yourself you know, if I fully trusted myself with money, how would I think and how would I feel and how would I act differently? Who is that woman that has a more easeful relationship with money? Who is that woman that feels ease when she spends her money? Who is that woman that values herself enough to buy things that she loves and that bring her joy? So, to recap, first and foremost, what stories about money did you inherit from your family?

Erin Gray:

Get a journal, write these belief systems down, see them on paper for what they are Thoughts, right? Beliefs are just thoughts that you think over and over and over again. So they're thoughts. They're not facts, because you can find evidence for the opposite, correct. So they are thoughts, they're not facts.

Erin Gray:

Number two what emotions come up when I think about money? And this I don't think. Yes, you can put it on your journal, but this is more of a felt sense in your body. What are the physical sensations that I feel in my body when I look at my money, when I invest our money, or don't invest our money because I'm afraid? What do I feel when I ask for money for my services? Do I get all squirrely about it and get in my head, or am I just like? This is the price. If this is, you want to work with me. This is the price. Where in your body is it coming up? Get curious about this and pay attention to this.

Erin Gray:

And the last one and I think, like I mentioned, it probably is the most powerful in practicing is what is the story I want to believe about money? You have to decide ahead of time how you want to be with your money. This is a skill set, right? We're going to plan and do and then notice when we drop out of this state of being right. You can get back, you can lower the refractory period and it's okay, right, we're learning. This is a skill set. That's what I have for you, ladies, today the way that you think about your money. It shapes your financial reality.

Erin Gray:

Okay, my friends, I'll see you in the next episode. I want to invite you to join me for a one-on-one master your money coaching session. During this hour, we'll work together to create a tailored plan that helps you align your finances with your unique goals, energy and mindset. If you're ready to transform your relationship with money and create the freedom and abundance you deserve, head over to my website generatealifewelllivedcom and schedule your session. Did you learn something today? Do you know another female entrepreneur who might be avoiding her money? Will you send this episode over to her for me and, if you have it in you, please leave me a review for this podcast? It helps the show grow and I love hearing from you. See you next week.