Your Money, Your Rules | Financial Freedom, Money Management, Scarcity Mindset, Budgeting, Financial Planning

107 | Overcoming Shame Around Money: How to Break Free and Achieve Financial Freedom

• Erin Gray | Financial Coach, Former Certified Financial Planner and CFO

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Money shame often lurks in the shadows of entrepreneurship, especially for women. Whether it shows up as avoiding your bank accounts, undercharging, or feeling like you should be further along, money shame doesn’t mean something is wrong with you. It’s just fear in your money mindset, not your true worth.

In this episode, I’ll show you that your financial numbers don’t define your value. Your worth is not based on your bank balance—it’s based on who you are. Your current finances reflect past beliefs about money, not your potential to create abundance.

You’ll learn practical steps to shift from avoidance to empowerment, starting with money dates—time to reconnect with your finances from a place of curiosity, not judgment. Even just 15 minutes can transform your relationship with money.

Key Takeaways:

  • Understanding money shame is the first step to shifting your financial mindset.
  • Your revenue doesn’t define your worth—true value comes from within.
  • Regular money dates help you get curious, not critical, about your finances.
  • Take one empowered financial decision each week to build confidence.
  • Practice affirming statements like “I am worthy of financial freedom.”

Want to learn more? Here are your next steps:

Step 1: Join my FREE Facebook Community.

Connect, share, and learn how to master your money with other women just like you.

➡️ Join here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/941450038160915

Step 2: Grab your FREE Human Design chart

Curious what your Human Design chart reveals about how you're uniquely designed to make aligned financial decisions?

➡️ Get your chart here: https://generatealifewelllived.com/receive-your-human-design-chart

Step 3: Ready to transform your relationship with money and build true financial confidence?

Let’s create a strategy that feels aligned, intentional, and empowering—just for you.

➡️ Schedule your 1-hour Money Mastery Call here: https://generatealifewelllived.com/11-support

Money doesn't have to feel overwhelming. Let's create a strategy that feels nurturing and custom to you.

From my soul to yours,

Erin

Erin Gray:

Today we're talking about something that affects more women entrepreneurs than I think you probably realize, and that is money shame. You know. It shows up in such quiet ways like avoiding your bank account or undercharging, or telling yourself that you should be further along by now. That's typically what my brain tells me and I shouldn't say. Or it could be and right, it could be several of these things. Do you want to create a system to stop avoiding your money? Maybe you're feeling guilt and shame when it comes to your finances. Welcome to your money, your rules.

Erin Gray:

I'm Erin, a former certified financial planner and CFO, and yet I used to avoid my money and had fear, no matter how much we had. I can't wait to teach you how I overcame my money avoidance and started consistently managing my finances in a really simple way. It's time to get comfortable with money and before we dive into this week's episode, I want to invite you to join me for a one-on-one master your money coaching session. During this hour, we will work together to understand where you are financially, because understanding and being so clear on where you are is the first step to moving forward right, so you're going to gain more clarity and then begin. What we will do is we will begin to craft a tailored plan that helps you align with your finances, with what you value most and what feels good for you. If you're ready to transform your relationship with money and create the freedom and the abundance that you deserve that is your birthright you can go over to my website generatealifewelllivecom and schedule your session. I'm looking forward to working with you and empowering you even more.

Erin Gray:

I want you to know that the truth is that shame around money is not a sign that something is wrong with you. It is a sign that you are in your human brain and not your higher self. Right Shame, those lower vibration emotions, are not who you truly are right. We are love, we are light, we are abundance, we are joy, and when those lower vibration emotions come up to the surface, it is coming up to be transcended, to be healed and to be worked through. So in this episode, I'm going to show you how to shift out of that shame that we might be feeling and it might be something that you're feeling on a consistent basis so that you can reconnect with your power, with who you actually truly are right, and start making clearer, more confident financial decisions without needing to have it all figured out first.

Erin Gray:

You know, first and foremost, like I say with everything is, it is about awareness, right? So really naming what is actually going on and money shame. You know, when I was doing some market research, a lot of women that I was talking to they were sharing the same and similar stories, and when I would tell them that they are not the only woman that has experienced these emotions or think or feel this way, you could immediately see the relief in their face and their shoulders would drop. And I think this is one of the things I am so passionate about is helping women one empower themselves even more, change their identity, right, who they like return, I shouldn't say when I say change their identity, what I mean is like return to who you actually truly are before. Everyone told you who you should and shouldn't be. And one of the things I don't think that we're talking enough about is, like these feelings that we are feeling and we think we're the only ones that are going through this. And I want to tell you you are not right. You are one of one bill. You know 8 billion people in the world and a lot of women feel this way.

Erin Gray:

So maybe you were told growing up or somewhere along the way, that you were bad with money or you didn't know how to handle money or you weren't good with math, or whatever might have been said to you. And if you look at what is actually most often underneath that is this feeling of fear, right, fear of being judged, fear of not and I'm air quoting doing it right, fear of failing. And the first step is to one become aware of what you are actually thinking and feeling. Right, and stop labeling yourself. Right, you are not bad with money, you're. And even if you feel like, oh, I'm not good with math, there's lots of people let's just, even if your brain doesn't even want to agree with, okay, I'm good with math. Okay, there's lots of people that don't necessarily know all the ins and outs of math and they are million billionaires. Right, so you are in the process of learning how to manage your money with clarity, with confidence. Right, this is a skillset and skills develop over time. Right, we didn't know how to ride a bike initially. We use training wheels. Right, and so one learning how to be kind to yourself when you notice that those harsh words start to show up, when your brain is giving you that, you know, throwing those thoughts at you and also changing, going back to returning to who.

Erin Gray:

You are right, who is the woman who feels confident, who is clear with her money, and moving from that space. So start to detach your worth from your numbers. You know, in a world where we have been taught that the external world is what creates us thinking and feeling about ourselves, which is the complete opposite, your revenue does not define your value. I say this all the time. You know your worth, your lovability, your deservedness. It is not in your bank account and it does not equal your bank account. You know, we start to feel shame when we let these external things, like our income, our expenses or even debt that we might have, shape our identity instead of deciding what, who we are, deciding what our identity is and then creating from that space. You are not your financial results. You are worthy, you are deserving and you are lovable, just because you exist. Now your wealth consciousness might be at a different level, right, and that is something that we can change and work on, but your numbers don't represent who you are. They represent what you believe to be true, like your perception about you and your relationship with money and there is a big difference there. So I want to invite you to get into the numbers without the drama.

Erin Gray:

One of the things that I do when I sit down initially with clients is we actually get down to the numbers. Right, let me look at your financial plan, or let me look at your expenses with you. Let me look at your, your income with you. You know both from a business and when I say expenses, you know from your business and from your personal standpoint. Like, let's look at all of your income and your investments. Like let's actually dive into where you are, and a lot of times, what we think in our head versus what is actually happening is so different. Right, our brains paint this picture versus when we actually find out. On paper we're doing such a good job, so giving yourself credit, and so, if you have been avoiding your finances, this is your permission to look at them without judgment. Really start to cultivate the emotion of curiosity.

Erin Gray:

You know, with my clients, one of the things I really encourage you to do is to have consistent money dates. You know, setting up this time to spend with you and your money, even if it's just 15 minutes to log in to look around at your bank accounts, to look at your PNL, to look at your expenses and really get reacquainted with your numbers so that you can really become one. It's an opportunity for you to feel gratitude for where you are, for you to practice the emotion of having right and feeling feeling grateful for what you have generated, for the way that you have been circulating your money. And if a money date feels, ooh, I don't feel like I want to go on a date with money, if that feels too strong, can you just have a meeting with money initially. Right, you can even change the word from I had to in the beginning change the word from money to currency because money was sometimes a little bit triggering in my body right, so say it's something else. You can even change the currency, right, and say it's something else to show that your body, that you feel safe and that you feel secure. Right, because a lot of times when what I've noticed with women this was true for myself is I didn't feel safe with money. So if we don't feel safe with money, then we aren't going to want to sit down with it. Right, but the more that we do it, the more that we cultivate a loving relationship with ourselves and with money. The more that we are supportive and that we are nurturing and nourishing to ourselves and our money, the easier it gets.

Erin Gray:

So the goal isn't try, you know, isn't to just like try to fix everything in one sitting. The goal is to stop letting the fear dictate your relationship with money and whatever your bank account is currently, it is because of your past thoughts, right. Your beliefs about your identity in the past, right. When you think about how do we create, how do we manifest, it is from our current thinking is what we create in the future. So when you look at your bank account, when you look at where you are financially, that is coming from your past thinking. So you can get curious what in my current you know what, excuse me what in my past thinking, what were my beliefs around money that created this and what do I want to start thinking and believing about myself, who I am as an individual, and also about my money.

Erin Gray:

So what's one financial decision that you want to make this week? To own and, to you know, have your own back and to feel more empowered, right, you don't have to come in and overhaul everything, and maybe for some of you. It might just be. I'm going to just look at my bank accounts. I'm going to look at my PNL. I'm going to see where I am. I'm going to appreciate my money. Maybe that is your exercise for this week.

Erin Gray:

If you have been doing this work, if you have been looking at your accounts on a consistent basis, then, okay, what's the next step? Right? Who is the woman that takes care of her money, that looks at it, that grows it? How does she think, feel and act? What does she do? So what's one decision that you wanna make? Maybe it's setting up a tax account so you're prepped and ready when it comes time for taxes. Maybe it's looking at your P&L and seeing, like, does everything that I currently spend money on and circulate? Is that still in alignment with what I want?

Erin Gray:

Taking action is how we create everything in our life. So the more that we are in the energy of taking action, we also are building up that confidence that we have because we are taking care of our money, because we are looking at it from a place of curiosity, without shame, and we are creating more confidence within us and how we handle our money. So, to recap one name the feelings that you're feeling in your body right. What is really going on, really starting to detach your worth from your numbers, who you are, your worth, your lovability, your deservedness. It is inherent. It is not, it is not negotiable, it has nothing to do with any external number. Really getting into the numbers right, without the drama, getting into curiosity, understanding where you are financially and then looking at what is one decision that I want to make. You know, if you think about acting from that end game, place right the woman who already feels so successful, the woman who already has what she wants. What decision would she be making? And make one of those decisions.

Erin Gray:

And before we go, I want to invite you to join me for a one-on-one master your money coaching session. I want to say you don't need to work with anybody, but I will say it's a lot more fun when you get to work on your money with someone that empowers you, that is walking along beside you, that is asking you really reflective questions and that is seeing in you what you may not see in yourself yet. During this hour, we are going to work together to look at where you are financially, talk about your goals, your values and create a really tailored plan for you that helps you align with your finances. If you're ready to transform your relationship with money and really create more ease, more flow, more trust, more freedom and abundance that you deserve that you, that it is your right to have, I invite you to go to my website, generatealifewelllivedcom and schedule your session. Thank you for being here today.

Erin Gray:

Decide that you are confident, right, who you are when you ask yourself I am. I want you to. I want you to get to the place where you say I am confident, I am powerful, I am highly successful, I'm highly resourceful. Right, go, make one powerful money decision and keep showing up like the CEO that you are. I'm rooting for you. I'll see you in the next episode. I would love it if you would leave a review for this podcast. It helps the show grow and I love hearing from you. And if this episode resonated with you and you have a business bestie who is also avoiding her money, will you share this episode with her? My mission is to help more female entrepreneurs feel safe and empowered with their money. Okay, I'll see you in the next episode.