Your Money, Your Rules | Financial Freedom, Money Management, Scarcity Mindset, Budgeting, Financial Planning

111 | How Sacred Money Dates Support Financial Freedom, Nervous System Regulation, and a Better Money Mindset

• Erin Gray | Financial Coach, Former Certified Financial Planner and CFO

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If you’ve been avoiding your finances because they feel overwhelming, stressful, or just too much—this episode is for you.

In today’s conversation, I share the weekly practice that transformed my own relationship with money: money dates. Even as a former Certified Financial Planner and CFO, I used to avoid looking at my numbers—until I started approaching money through the lens of nervous system regulation, emotional safety, and money mindset work.

Whether you're navigating business finances or you're trying to feel more grounded with your personal spending, this ritual will help you move from money avoidance to confidence and clarity.

Key takeaways:

  • Create a safe, supportive environment to check in with your money
  • Bring more emotional regulation into your financial routine
  • Review income, spending, and decisions with curiosity—not shame
  • Build a system that actually supports your financial freedom

Let’s stop hustling for worth and start building a relationship with money that feels good, aligned, and empowering.

Want to learn more? Here are your next steps:

Step 1: Join my FREE Facebook Community.

Connect, share, and learn how to master your money with other women just like you.

➡️ Join here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/941450038160915

Step 2: Grab your FREE Human Design chart

Curious what your Human Design chart reveals about how you're uniquely designed to make aligned financial decisions?

➡️ Get your chart here: https://generatealifewelllived.com/receive-your-human-design-chart

Step 3: Ready to transform your relationship with money and build true financial confidence?

Let’s create a strategy that feels aligned, intentional, and empowering—just for you.

➡️ Schedule your 1-hour Money Mastery Call here: https://generatealifewelllived.com/11-support

Money doesn't have to feel overwhelming. Let's create a strategy that feels nurturing and custom to you.

From my soul to yours,

Erin

Erin Gray:

In today's episode, I'm introducing to you a practice that changed everything for me and that I recommend with all of my clients, and that is money dates. I'm going to show you how to create a ritual that supports both your business and your personal finances, that helps you build trust with yourself and with your money, and creates a space for clarity, for gratitude and for circulation. Do you want to create a system to stop avoiding your money? Maybe you're feeling guilt and shame when it comes to your finances. Welcome to your Money, your Rules. I'm Erin, a former certified financial planner and CFO, and yet I used to avoid my money and had fear, no matter how much we had. I can't wait to teach you how I overcame my money avoidance and started consistently managing my finances in a really simple way. It's time to get comfortable with money. Is your gut telling you it's time to do money differently? If you're craving clarity and a plan that actually feels right for you, this is your invitation to schedule a one-on-one master your money coaching session with me. We will co-create a system that feels aligned, that is empowering to you and built for your unique energy. If this feels like a full body, yes, you can head over to my website, generatealifeallivecom, and schedule your call. Let's make money feel satisfying again, okay.

Erin Gray:

So let's talk about money dates. This is something that I probably well, let's. Actually, there's two sides to this. It's something that I probably avoid for a really long time. Then I did it from a place of like have to and like not enoughness, and then now I'm at the place where it's so fun and I look forward to doing this. So a money date is just a weekly ritual where you sit down and intentionally connect with your money without shame, without the hustle, without going through the motions, without the dread. It's not about getting everything perfect, you know, in the beginning. It's really about creating safety, security, clarity and choice around your financial life, right? So I was talking to a client last week and I was saying, you know, introducing money dates to her. And she's like, well, what do I do? And I'm like, okay, well, think about if you were to go on a date with you know someone that you were interested in, what would you do? And she's like, well, what do I do? And I'm like, okay, well, think about if you were to go on a date with you know someone that you were interested in, what would you do? And she's like, well, I would get dressed up and I would look forward to it and I would have a good time. And I was like, yes, that's exactly what we're gonna do with our money.

Erin Gray:

Now, maybe in the beginning for you you may be like love, money, money loves us. For some people that's too far of a jump of your nervous system. But like, what is it? Maybe it is, you know, just a. Maybe it's not a date initially, maybe it's just, you know, a time where you get to sit and be with your money, right, and you can look at this of two ways. You can either have two separate times or dates, you know, or you can combine the two, where you look at your business and your personal money. But it is coming from a place of care and attention and love ultimately. But if you can't get to love, it's coming from a place of neutrality and curiosity.

Erin Gray:

So the first step is what do you want it to look like? Like setting the space. So maybe it's lighting a candle, maybe it is putting on some music, like I talk about, you know, piano guys, and I love to play piano guys because it feels so soft and nurturing and nourishing to my nervous system. Maybe you get your favorite drink or your. You know I love iced tea. Maybe you drink hot tea. Maybe you grab a latte. Maybe you, you know do your coffee, your seltzer water, whatever it is Like? How do you want to set the scene and the space for you to interact with your money and really starting to dive into your body of like? How do I want to feel during this interaction with my money? So maybe in the beginning, you're doing some breaths and you're noticing what your breathing is like, or you're even maybe noticing the resistance that you're feeling like. Celebrate that. Just recognize that this is about you learning how to reconnect your self with your money and your relationship, and so we don't need to rush this right. For many women, we can only go as fast as what we feel safe to do. So right. So think about what is really nourishing to your nervous system and what feels good for you to support yourself to sit down and do this exercise.

Erin Gray:

Okay, so I'm going to break this down into the business side and then also the personal side. So, from a business check-in place, looking at your revenue what income came in? Are you celebrating it Like every single bit, no matter where you are in your business journey, if it's your first dollar or first couple of hundred dollars or it's, you know, thousands or hundreds of thousands, millions, right what came in and celebrating it, naming it, blessing it, like thanking the clients that trusted you and love to give you their money in exchange for what you're providing for them. Looking at your cashflow what's working, maybe, what's not working, what might need adjusting and then looking at your expenses, or what I call receipts of appreciation, you know, are you resourcing your business intentionally? So I had this conversation with a client last week. You know I I was asking her I'd looked at her P and L for the last three months and I said there were a couple of things that were the bookkeeper had not allocated properly, and so we were reviewing some things and she was like, oh, wow, I didn't recognize that I was still paying for that, and so it's just an opportunity to sit down and be with your money and to look at it and like, what are the new subscriptions that are coming due, what you know new things in your business do you want to invest in and are they still in alignment? Sometimes the answer is yes and sometimes it's not, and that's okay. It's just taking a look and seeing where you are obviously paying yourself first. You know, if you're just getting started, just starting with something so that you get in the habit, and obviously if it's something that is, you know that you this is your primary source of income of making sure that you have a tax account allocated, that you are putting aside money for taxes depending on how you are taxed for federal and for self-employment tax and just building up that habit of paying yourself first.

Erin Gray:

Now you can look at I always suggest tithing because I think it is such a beautiful way to show the universe or God that we are an abundant right. Like giving to some people. If you go to church, then you're tithing there. But if you are don't go to church like I do, I do not go to church. But like tithing to the people that have given you spiritual food, giving back and and um, circulating your money right. So is there somewhere or someone that you want to support? And I really think, getting in the habit of doing this? Um, because I know that a lot of us think, oh, when we make X, y, z, we're going to give, but that starts right now, today, no matter what income amount you are generating. So, from a personal check-in, looking at your total income, like I count my husband's income and I count my business income and I count our investment income, and I just look at all of our income and, like I said, in the business, one right, blessing it, showing gratitude, celebrating how it's increasing, just being in that space of having.

Erin Gray:

And then I take a look at our spending, like where did our money go this week? Is it in alignment with our values? Do we enjoy, did we enjoy it Like actually being in the celebration of spending our money? Taking a look at, I mean, the celebration of spending our money. Taking a look at I mean I do this more so from a before I take out my credit card. But if you aren't at that place yet, where you are in an awareness, taking an emotional inventory after the fact cause that is how awareness starts is were you spending from an aligned place? Were you spending from avoidance or trying to feel better?

Erin Gray:

You know, sometimes some women will say, you know, I went shopping because I was feeling so like really getting into your body and asking yourself, like all of these choices that I made, would I make them again? Or was I making it from a reactionary place or from a very intentional place? Taking a look at your goals, you know, and are your money moves matching what your desires are? And I always look at all of this right. How are we circulating our money? So, looking at when you sit down, who is the woman who feels so calm and so peaceful with her money and feels so grateful for the amount of money that she has and how it's growing and how she's circulating it? So what you can also do is take some time to journal and embody this, integrate. This is like what are the patterns that you are noticing, like you can take some time to look at. Okay, when I saw that money date on my calendar, how did I feel in my body? Was I excited? Was I looking forward to it or was I feeling like, oh, I have to do this right?

Erin Gray:

Taking a look at what are you grateful for, really getting intentional, not just like check off the box and if you are listening to this obviously because you are, but you know when you are listening to this and you are thinking about, well, aaron said I should do this. That's not the place that I want you to come from. I want you to come from and get to the place of why do I want to take care of my money, why do I want to sit down with my money? And you formulate your reasons why you would want to do this. So asking yourself and getting really clear on like, what am I so grateful for? And then what, moving forward, what small step would feel supportive to me and my nervous system next week?

Erin Gray:

So simple and easy, you know, taking it a look at is, first and foremost, of like getting prepped from a nervous system regulation and also a 3d perspective of like where do I want to sit down and set the space to be with my money? And then looking at it from a business check-in place and then also a personal check-in. And then also, you know, having conversations with your spouse. Does your, does your spouse do the personal and you do your business, or what does that look like? And having conversations. If you want, that's a bonus If you want to have a conversation with your spouse and then embodying this right, bringing this into your body so that you are a person that feels calm and feels peaceful and feels sufficient and abundant with your money. So if you're tired of pushing through the financial stress that you might be feeling and you are craving a clear, aligned plan. I want you to know that this is your opportunity to respond to something that feels good in your body.

Erin Gray:

In our master your money coaching session, we're going to simplify your finances and align your strategy with your energy and create real momentum toward what lights you up. To schedule this call, you can head over to my website, generatealifewelllivecom and book your session today. I'll see you in the next episode. I would love it if you would leave a review for this podcast. It helps the show grow and I love hearing from you. And if this episode resonated with you and you have a business bestie who is also avoiding her money, will you share this episode with her? My mission is to help more female entrepreneurs feel safe and empowered with their money. Okay, I'll see you in the next episode.