129 | How Hiding Behind Your Financial Security Can Sabotage Your Growth

Ever feel like the more financially secure you become, the more cautious you get? This feeling is not about being “responsible.” It’s a subtle, sneaky way our nervous system tries to protect us from change, uncertainty, and deeper levels of visibility and growth.

In this episode, I'm exploring how our own financial comfort can impede our growth.  When we’ve built something valuable, we can start playing smaller, saying no to aligned risks, or ignoring our intuition—not because we’re out of alignment, but because we’ve convinced ourselves there’s too much to lose.

You didn’t come here to build security. You came here to express, create, and live a life that stretches you into your fullest potential.

Inside this conversation I discuss:

• How financial security can lead to fear-based decision-making
• Why the nervous system resists expansion once we feel “comfortable”
• Signs you might be hiding behind your wealth
• The difference between protection and alignment
• How to reframe your money as fuel—not a shield—for your next evolution
• A powerful journal prompt to reconnect with your courage and clarity

Want to learn more or connect with me?

Step 1: Join my FREE Facebook Community.

Connect, share, and learn how to master your money with other women just like you.

➡️ Join here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/941450038160915

Step 2: Grab your FREE Human Design chart

Curious what your Human Design chart reveals about how you're uniquely designed to make aligned financial decisions?

➡️ Get your chart here: https://generatealifewelllived.com/receive-your-human-design-chart

Step 3: Ready to transform your relationship with money and build true financial confidence?

Let’s create a plan that feels aligned, intentional, and empowering—just for you.

➡️ Schedule your free clarity call here (https://tidycal.com/eringray/45-min-call-with-erin)

Money doesn't have to feel overwhelming. Let's create a plan that feels nurturing and custom to you.

From my soul to yours,

Erin

Chapters

• 0:00 Financial Comfort Keeping Us Small
• 1:28 Signs You're Hiding Behind Money
• 4:58 What's Really At Stake
• 7:31 Reframing Money As Fuel
• 9:52 Invitation To Play Big

Transcript

Erin Gray: 0:00

Ever noticed how, the more money that you have allocated and accumulated, the more maybe that you seem or want to play it safe. In today's episode, I'm going to be exploring how financial comfort can actually keep us small and what is truly at risk when we hide behind our money. Welcome back to your Money, your Rules. I am so glad you're here. I wanted to address this on the podcast because this is something that I have actually experienced and I have seen with some of my clients, so I thought that if I'm experiencing it, clients are experiencing it, it's probably worth discussing. Many of you would probably consider yourself not struggling when it comes to money. In fact, you probably are really comfortable in your life and you love your life. Obviously, we could always, you know, desire, we want and desire more, but you're probably pretty content and pleased with what you have created up until this point and I want to celebrate you for having and creating what you have created. And I also want to lovingly challenge or encourage you that we did not come to planet earth to play small. We came here to expand to our biggest, most vibrant versions of ourselves and I truly believe that, as I deepen my connection with God and spirit. I see that we are all here to express ourselves through him. So today I'm going to be sharing my belief on what is really at risk when we hide behind our money story and before we dive in. If you are listening to this and you are thinking, yeah, that she's talking directly to me, then I want to invite you to schedule a clarity call. This is exactly some of the work that I do with my clients untangling the ways that we're using our money to stay safe. We work through building true emotional capacity to expand beyond what feels comfortable in our bodies and helping you create a life that's not just financially abundant but deeply aligned and fulfilling to you. So if you know that this is in your heart and this is there calling you to take action the link to book is in the show notes. You can schedule the time that works for you and let's create some magic together.

Erin Gray: 2:29

Okay, so let's just get down to it. So what do I actually mean when I say hiding behind our money? To me what I have seen for myself and for clients it often looks like saying no to an investment that could possibly stretch you because you don't want to mess up what you have built. You don't want to use any of the money that you currently have. You might be staying in a business model that it feels safe to your nervous system, it feels familiar, but it's not necessarily lighting you up and it's not a hell yes for you, because what is really driving it is fear is that you are afraid of being seen if you actually do what you really want to be doing and the impact that you're going to create and what that actually might entail.

Erin Gray: 3:29

It could look like really devoting yourself to your business because you have stories this was me for sure. We have stories around being a workaholic. We have stories around what a good mom does or what a good mom doesn't do, or what we did or didn't do with our children when they were younger. Several of my clients, you know, have come from that all the way over, from the other side of working so much that we for lack of a better word ignored our families, right. So we don't want to. We feel like that we're going to slip back into that versus devotion to our business and our craft, while also having a thriving, healthy family relationship and bond. Because you feel like that, you're going to do it again, like you think that, okay, if I really devote myself, then what might happen is I'm going to be right back where I was 10 years ago and I don't ever want to be at that place again. Or it might show up like you, not following your intuition, because what is being asked of you makes no sense and the mind cannot comprehend how it's going to go, and we're so used to wanting to feel in control, and so we aren't willing to take that first step because we don't know what it's going to look like in the end.

Erin Gray: 4:58

And for so many of us as women, we have reached a level of financial abundance that we dreamt about, and because of this, the nervous system often likes to say like we have something to lose now, right, if we haven't trained the nervous system to come from a place of abundance and sufficiency, if it's still in that lack mentality, it's going to want to hold on, it's going to want to grip, it's going to want to protect everything at all costs, even though that's not necessarily what you might be consciously thinking. And I want you to really ponder what is actually on the line here. I don't like to use the word at stake, but like what is on the line, when you avoid going all in, taking risks because you do have money. If you have this thought around, I have money to lose you're often not necessarily protecting your money. I think you're protecting your identity. You're protecting your sense, your idea of control, of certainty and how you see yourself.

Erin Gray: 6:15

And I think that we are selling ourselves short when we do this, because when we stay small, when we play small, when we stay hidden, that feels really nice to the nervous system. It feels familiar, really nice to the nervous system. It feels familiar. And it also means that we are never really going to experience the vibrancy and expansion that our soul came here to experience. When you're not playing full out, when you're not going all in, when you aren't really truly seeing what you are capable of, what God wants to actually move through you, you're not able to truly see what, like, our souls came here to expand, this human vessel that we have came here to expand. And when we are clamping it down, when we are suppressing it, when we are thinking that it's not possible for us, we aren't fully living the most vibrant life that we can live.

Erin Gray: 7:22

So I want you to ponder this reframe Like what if money isn't something that you hide behind. What if it's actually your fuel, your best friend and the support that you are calling in and asking for as you go all in on yourself, on your business? You know what if the wealth that you have built is actually there to support you and give you more courage, not caution? Like what if the point isn't to hoard what you feel like is your security, but to leverage it into a deeper purpose for more joy, more impact, more aligned action to your mission and your calling? I'm not advocating to use all of your money. I think that there is that happy medium, right. Where is it? Where we are using the money that we have from a place that keeps us feeling safe and secure, but it's not allowing us to expand.

Erin Gray: 8:40

So I want you to journal on this question. If I had no fear of losing what I have, if I actually was going to double or triple it, or 10 exit or 100 exit, what would I do next? Like, not just from a financial standpoint, but like with your life, in your business? And if this question brings up discomfort and maybe even a little bit of excitement, like for me when I'm leaning into something that I want to do, it feels definitely exciting and then the fear comes in and I want to encourage you that this is normal, right.

Erin Gray: 9:24

This is where a lot of us are and where we start it's it's that burning desire that we have and also recognizing where the human wants to come in. So if you want support unpacking this, if you want someone to hold this space for you, to get honestly curious about how you might be hiding behind your money, I would love to support you. You can schedule a clarity call by just going to the link in the show notes, clicking on the link. Let's explore what is possible for you when you stop allowing your money to keep you small and start allowing it to help you play really, really big and live big. Okay, thank you for being here. I believe in you, I'm rooting for you and I'll see you in the next episode.