Your Money, Your Rules | Financial Freedom, Money Management, Abundance Mindset, Budgeting, Financial Planning

130 | Why Selling Might Feel Uncomfortable and How to Shift It

• Erin Gray | Spiritual Wealth Coach, Former Certified Financial Planner and CFO

Share episode

Got a question? Send me a text.

Ever feel that knot in your stomach when it’s time to talk about your prices or invite someone into your offer? 

In this episode, I'm sharing my perspective on what it means to sell, especially for heart-centered women in business. Because selling isn’t about pressure or persuasion. It’s about helping someone say yes to themselves. When you shift your beliefs, perspective and energy around sales, they will stop feeling like a chore and start feeling like an extension of your purpose.

Inside this conversation:

  • Why your discomfort around selling is rooted in past conditioning
  • How your energy—and your beliefs—impact every sales result
  • Reframing selling as sacred service
  • Why not offering your services is actually withholding transformation
  • How to bring more feminine energy into your sales conversations
  • A mindset shift that makes you magnetic 


Want to learn more or connect with me?


Step 1: Join my FREE Facebook Community.

Connect, share, and learn how to master your money with other women just like you.

➡️ Join here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/941450038160915

Step 2: Grab your FREE Human Design chart

Curious what your Human Design chart reveals about how you're uniquely designed to make aligned financial decisions?

➡️ Get your chart here: https://generatealifewelllived.com/receive-your-human-design-chart

Step 3: Ready to transform your relationship with money and build true financial confidence?

Let’s create a plan that feels aligned, intentional, and empowering—just for you.

➡️ Schedule your free clarity call here (https://tidycal.com/eringray/45-min-call-with-erin)

Money doesn't have to feel overwhelming. Let's create a plan that feels nurturing and custom to you.

From my soul to yours,

Erin

Erin Gray:

Welcome back to your Money, your Rules podcast with me, your host, erin Gray. Thank you for being here. Today we're going to be talking about a topic that I feel like, for a lot of women, has them squirming and feeling a little bit uncomfortable, and that is selling. One of the things that I want this podcast to bring to you is not just my personal experience, not just me teaching you, but also sharing some of the experiences that I have with clients, because I know that if I'm experiencing these topics in sessions that I have with clients, I'm sure I'm pretty positive that that exists outside of my coaching sessions. And so selling is one of the topics that has come up recently and so I thought I would do a podcast on it. So I think for a lot of women, we have thoughts around selling because we have been sold to from a place of being pushed or feeling like the sell was manipulative or it was sleazy or uncomfortable, like. Think about and I'll share my story about car sales here in a bit but a lot of us have thoughts around car salesmen. So when you have thoughts around selling that is not from a place of love and fun and enjoyment and service If it's coming from. You know, like I said, pushy, manipulative, sleazy, uncomfortable, because we are thinking this way. It will create certain feelings in our body and it is going to create a lack of cells, and I am here to tell you that we need more of you in the world, not less. I also don't believe that sales is a strategy. There's a couple of people that I have come across in my podcasting journey and just in business in general, and they teach sales strategy. Maybe there might be a place for that, but that feels very 3D for me. I think we really have to start with the 5D. What are our thoughts and our feelings about sales? Because I think it's really just a conversation that we are having with our ideal client or person that we are serving, and so you know how you think and feel about your offering and your work in the world and showing up for that and having those conversations. That is what is going to create sales or not create sales. So let's dive in.

Erin Gray:

Okay, so I want you to think about what are the top three thoughts that you have that come to mind initially when I say selling your product or your service, like, pause the podcast right now. Write those three thoughts down and then come back and then we'll dive in. Okay, so you have your three thoughts written down. Are they thoughts of or from the energy of fun and enjoyment and connection and love and sufficiency? Or is it more like it feels uncomfortable, or it feels like you're bothering people or you feel guilty for offering what you want? Because if those are the thoughts that you have, you are going to be creating little or lack of I don't want to say little or no cells, but lack of cells.

Erin Gray:

You know everything is energy. People feel it. So maybe you are holding back, talking about the price or rushing through your offer, maybe you don't even mention it and people are going to feel that energy. My daughter said to me the other day and she likes to mess with me, she's like mom, people can't feel energy. And I'm like Grayson everybody senses energy. How aware we are of it, that is, you know, the thing to be debated. But we all sense energy. So if you aren't sold on your offer, if you're not sold on this is, when I say this is the most amazing thing, I don't mean it's better than somebody else's, I mean this is the most incredible thing that I am bringing to the world and I am serving the world. How can you expect someone else to be so? I want to bring in what I call a little bit more feminine energy on the idea of selling, because many of us have had very masculine experiences with selling in the past.

Erin Gray:

Think about a lot of times what our experience has been with a car salesman. Now, like my husband and I have had very different experiences. Our thoughts are very different, right, but we have had very different experiences. Our thoughts are very different, right, but we have had very different experiences with car sales. I have had two. I think I could really think of two people that I have worked with very closely in purchasing car sales. One was for my personal cars I probably bought four or five cars from him and the other one was when I worked in my family's construction business and we had a long-term 10 plus year relationship, and both of those men were, I viewed them as very trustworthy, forthright, no BS, the price was the price Like. It wasn't this, you know, bouncing around all this, what we typically experience with car sales?

Erin Gray:

Now, my husband, on the other hand, he has lots of thoughts and beliefs around car salesmen, and so that has been his experience right. He came from the automotive industry, the BMW industry. He has seen it because he had that belief right. So, whatever we believe, we're going to find evidence for it right. We're going to have that confirmation bias because that is our belief. We're going to go out there and we're going to look for the evidence that supports our belief system. And so he thinks a lot of times that car salesmen are sleazy and they, you know, they try to be your friend, to make a sale and just all of these what feels like a little bit of lower vibration emotions around car salesmen. So, because of our experiences in our past, if we aren't changing the way that we think and feel about sales moving forward, we are going to take that into our own business or formulate beliefs around that and be a little bit shy on selling, because we have had not so pleasant experiences around being sold to.

Erin Gray:

And I think that selling is something that we do all the time. Like I sell you all the time on the podcast on yourself right, On the beliefs that I have. I'm selling you on thinking differently about money. I'm selling you on increasing your wealth consciousness. I'm selling you on the idea of having a different mindset when it comes to money or what your life is, what you are able to have in your life or what you're able to create. I'm selling you on the belief that your entire experience can be different by changing the way that you think and that you feel than you do right now. Changing the way that you think and that you feel than you do right now. I'm selling you on, you know, transforming your nervous system from one that is in fight and flight and freeze more often to one that is calm and that is regulated and that is at ease. And I believe I have the tools, the experience, the embodiment to help and support you. And by not by me, not offering my support to you, I feel is doing you a disservice, and I believe that's the way that you have to start thinking about your product or your service. You know how are you changing someone else's life.

Erin Gray:

Whether you're a coach or a mentor, or you're a yoga teacher, or you're a spa owner, or a sales rep for a custom home builder, a realtor, like whatever you and your business is, you are selling clients on their transformation transformation. So think about what you are helping them have by working with you. It's not the hour with you, it's not the house, it's not the facial, it's none of that. It is the transformation that they are going to have by working with you. Like, everything we do is for a feeling, and I believe, as women, when we come from a servant's heart which I haven't met a woman yet who doesn't have a servant's heart you know, when we come from that place of desire to serve and to give, all that we're doing is just helping them get what they want. Now, sometimes they might not want what you are offering and that doesn't mean anything about you. What you are doing is helping them get what they want and have clarity. That's all that we're doing. So I think, as women, we do this so naturally If we can just shut out all of the tactics that we have been taught and we really tap into our heart, we tap into spirit, we tap into love and sufficiency and abundance. We are natural givers, we love to help others and that is what I believe we are doing when we are selling and when you see it.

Erin Gray:

You know I looked up the word duty because sometimes I think a lot of us have thoughts around what duty means, but when I looked it up. It's a moral or a legal obligation or responsibility. When I think about it, it's like I have a responsibility to share with you that you can have a different relationship with money. You can have an entirely different business and an entirely different life. Like from a responsibility place, not as like it feels heavy, but it feels like I want to share that with you so that you know that it's possible and it is already yours if you're willing to have it. So when you see it as your duty to help them solve their, what their problem is and I don't want to focus on problem, but you know what it is that they're coming to you for and to transform their life, then the selling doesn't become it's no longer about you, it's about them. You're not taking.

Erin Gray:

I think that so often with sales we think is like someone's winning and someone's losing, like it's the same way I was talking to a client last week about lawsuits and it's like someone has to win and someone has to lose, like that's what we have created, which is such a lack mentality. What are like if we both are winning? What are we both getting out of this by having this experience? So you're giving them an opportunity. You're inviting them into a new possibility, a new way of thinking, a new way of being. You know I think about I know I mentioned earlier but, like as a spa owner, you know like it's an experience. It's a way that I get to go and elevate my self-concept and what my standard is, and no matter if you're a spa owner or you're a coach or a yoga teacher or whatever I said before it's you are creating a space for them to have what they want and to say yes to what they want. So ponder this question Do I believe that my work is the best thing for my client? And if the answer is yes, then ask yourself what are the stories and beliefs that I have that have me not offering it on a consistent basis?

Erin Gray:

And I think you know I want to go back to the car sales analogy, because I think we've been taught that sales is getting them to say yes to us, but it's getting them to be clear and say yes to themselves. Like when I think about a car salesman if I am going to one dealership but they don't have anything that I want to one dealership but they don't have anything that I want, that conversation that they are having with me is helping me become more clear on what I do want, and I think so many of us have been taught that sales is getting them to say yes to me or to us, right Versus. It's getting them to say yes to themselves, and that might look like working with you or working with someone else, but it's getting them to say yes to what they want and for them to get more clear on what they want. And when you come from that place of love and sufficiency and knowing that you can help them, and releasing and sufficiency and knowing that you can help them and releasing like I talked about in the previous episode of releasing any attachment that we have and just showing up at the servant's heart, like, how can we not not sell? Like, how can we not offer our services?

Erin Gray:

And I think, as women, what we get to do you know I talk about this fork in the road a lot I think we get to change the way that we have been taught about business, about money, about sales, about connection, about conversations, like about all of it. Like you get to think about sales in a way that serves you, that serves your clients, that allows you to show up as your biggest, brightest self and allows your clients to do that too. So think about how do I want to think about cells, how do I want to think about what I offer to the world. So I would highly encourage you to start thinking about cells and seeing it like the highest form of service that we can do. You know we are helping people gain more clarity to have what they want, and it is not something that is gross, or I mean even language like that. Just pay attention to the language that you are using. That cells is a beautiful thing.

Erin Gray:

Like when I walk into a furniture store, I want someone to show me like I have an idea in my mind. I want them to show me and take me to the places that I want, to the couches that I'm looking at. So when you think that sales is coming from a helpful, loving, sufficient place and they're helping you gain more clarity and that's exactly what you're doing for your clients, how can we not want to do that for our clients and for the world? And I think it first starts with believing in what you are offering, and I would start there. If you are not 100% sold on what you offer, then either do the work to get to the place where you do believe that. So if that's a self-worth or a self-concept idea that you need to work on, or if it's actually an offer that you're not really stoked about, then throw that offer out and do offer something that you are in love with. Okay, that's all I have for you today. I'll see you in the next episode.