131 | 3 Ways to Rewire Your Scarcity Mindset and Feel Safe Receiving More

Are you in a cycle where you feel that there's just not enough—time, money, love, or energy? That if you let go or slow down, everything might fall apart?

In this episode, I dive into the deeper roots of scarcity mindset—a survival pattern shaped by childhood experiences, generational money trauma, and cultural conditioning. 

You’ll discover how scarcity shows up in everyday patterns like overworking, guilt around spending, and tying your worth to productivity. More importantly, you'll learn how to begin rewiring your nervous system to feel safe with receiving, rest, and sufficiency.

In this episode, you'll learn:

• Why scarcity is a nervous system response, not just a money problem
• How early money stories and inherited beliefs shape your emotional blueprint
• Sneaky scarcity habits like over-giving, people-pleasing, and resource hoarding
• The importance of moving through sufficiency before reaching true abundance
• Tools to shift out of fear-based thinking: thought awareness, inner child work, breathwork, etc
• How to embody your abundant identity—one decision, one thought at a time

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From my soul to yours,

Erin

Chapters

• 0:00 Understanding Scarcity Mindset
• 5:44 The Roots of Financial Fear
• 10:31 Generational Trauma and Money Stories
• 13:17 Shifting from Scarcity to Abundance
• 18:01 Practical Tools for Nervous System Regulation
• 21:50 Creating a New Money Identity

Transcript

Erin Gray: 0:00

Today on the podcast, I want to talk about something that I know many of us either currently feel or possibly have felt in our bodies, which is that feeling of scarcity or lack mentality, or scarcity mindset. It's not just the fear of not having enough money, but it goes deeper than that. I believe the subtle beliefs that run in the background, beliefs like what if it all goes away? Or I have to give up something in order to have what I want, or what if I mismanage my money and I don't make it last until I pass away. Welcome back to your Money, your Rules podcast. I'm so grateful that you're here Before we get started. I wanted to offer that, if you would love support to work through some of your scarcity mindset that you might be feeling, so that you can truly live your life, enjoy your life, what you have created and are creating, I invite you to book a clarity call with me. Created and are creating. I invite you to book a clarity call with me. You can schedule a session by going to the show notes and clicking the link in the show notes and schedule a time that works for you. So let's talk about what is scarcity mindset. Like, I went to the Googles and I looked it up and, by definition, the scarce.

Erin Gray: 1:20

A scarcity mindset is a psychological state that is characterized by the belief that the resources are limited and that there won't be enough to go around. This leads to fear, anxiety and a focus on what is lacking rather than what is available to us, and a lot of times we associate a scarcity mindset with money. That is what a lot of us feel like. We have a scarcity mindset around, but I think and it shows up in different ways than just money it is a survival pattern wired into our nervous system. It's often shaped by our experiences that we have had. Typically, most of the time it has happened when we were children or in childhood, and it comes from also, like think about generational trauma, generations before us, and we live also in a society that encourages all things scarcity, selling through scarcity. When I think about turning on any TV or ads, if you're watching TV, they're always selling you on what you don't have and why you need to get what they're selling. It's really ultimately based in fear and lack not enough, and I think that fear is a very powerful can be, you know, a motivational tool and, if you understand, for humans that want to, or have wanted to, control the mass population. They have figured that part out and they use scarcity and lack and fear to have us thinking that it is real.

Erin Gray: 3:12

And from my experience with my own life and in clients that I have supported, you know this scarcity mindset isn't just about money. It shows up with time. It shows up with love as well, and how it presents is it looks like overworking or people pleasing, saying yes because we believe that we can't show up and be who we truly are and that that will be enough. So we overgive, we overcommit, we say yes when we really want to say no. We don't rest because we fear that resting is going to slow us down and not actually add to our life and creativeness. You know it looks like feeling guilty when you spend on things just for fun, the things that you really want, that light your soul on fire when you think about your, your inner child, the little, the little girl within you that wants that. Light your soul on fire when you think about your inner child, the little girl within you that wants that, and you're telling her no. And it can even go as far as hoarding, which is something that I have experienced, some of my clients have experienced, because we literally believe that there is a certain amount of money in the world and also available to us, and we believe that we have to ration it. I mean, if you think about the financial industry, how often have you sat down with your financial planner and they talk about what is the amount of money that you're going to need to retire off of? Because, as if there is this set amount of money that, when you're in retirement, that that's all you're ever going to have and you want to, you know, make sure that it lasts until you pass away.

Erin Gray: 4:48

Scarcity, if you, if you really look at I think nature is one of our biggest teachers is scarcity, is it's manmade? It's, it's a, it's taught to us. It's a lie. I love to use, you know, nature as the example, because nature is always growing and expanding. Yes, it has seasons, but if you look at places that have been burnt and growth continues to emerge after the fire, or look at old buildings that aren't in use anymore, the parking lots they have shrubs in them. Again, they're growing. There's greenery around. We are nature. If you believe that we all came from one source, then we are nature, and because we all came from the same source, it's inherent in our actual nature to expand.

Erin Gray: 5:40

So I want to talk about, like, the roots of scarcity and how it kind of shows up and how to move through it. So it can look like how your self-worth, because if you really take scarcity and you break it down, it's really a lack of right. So think about your self-worth and how you tie that to productivity. This is a lesson that I have had to learn because I tied my self-worth to productivity. So if you only feel valuable when you're doing something or you're working or you're giving, receiving might feel now you might not use these words that it's threatening, but that's how it feels in the body. It doesn't feel safe. So we are going to, because it doesn't feel safe, we are going to subconsciously block abundance because it doesn't feel like it's earned.

Erin Gray: 6:35

I like to change the word from earn because I think a lot of us grew up with you have to earn your keep, you have to earn a living, you have to earn your income, like there's a lot of earning versus receiving. And when you really start to pick this apart and really start to ponder if you believe that you are a vessel and that, whatever you believe in, god, spirit source is always trying to give you more than what we actually need to do is expand our vessel right. We don't have to earn anything, we have to be able to receive it, and by receiving it we have to expand our vessel, and many of us were taught that growing up. Like I said, you have to earn your keep, and so these stories that we have keep playing on in the background if we aren't ready and willing to look at them and decide that we want to shift them. Maybe even you know I know, and I've talked about this before like love was withheld based on grades or things that I might or might not have done. So maybe you didn't receive money if you didn't earn your keep around the house. So just notice and ask yourself, spend some time asking yourself what are some of the stories that I have around my productivity and my self-worth? Because they are completely separate. They do not mean anything about each other, but a lot of us have those two tied up in each other.

Erin Gray: 8:04

I think also, too, when you think about when I mentioned before, you think about generational trauma, like financial generational trauma, and then like in your body that fear that your, that your cells hold. You know Dr Joe talks about this of, and there are other teachers and mentors that talk cells hold. Dr Joe talks about this and there are other teachers and mentors that talk about this and who knows if it's true to some. You hear seven, some you hear 14 generations. But if you think about the cellular and molecular structure that we have within our bodies and the vibration that we are on, and if that is carried down from generation to generation, we are on, and if that is carried down from generation to generation until we become aware, until we start changing those cellular and molecular structures and biology in our bodies, it's going to continue.

Erin Gray: 8:48

So maybe you watched your parents struggle or have some stories around what happened when you were younger. Maybe you grew up hearing that you have to work hard for money or that you have to sacrifice something in exchange for money, or maybe even saw that with your parents. Maybe your dad depending on who was back then, if you're around my age 40, the breadwinner. Back then some parents didn't. You had one breadwinner. You didn't necessarily have two like you do now, but you know, maybe you saw someone giving up time for money and so you made that in you know, in your mind and in your body, made that correlation that you have to give up, you have to sacrifice something in order to have what you want or have money. And I know I've shared very vulnerably about my own story when I was around the age of 10 and how that experience, you know, with my dad and his business and what he was trying to teach me and empower me, how that actually shaped my relationship with money. You know he was coming from, I believe, a loving and an empowering place.

Erin Gray: 9:57

But at 10 years old, if you're not, you know your prefrontal cortex hasn't come online, you aren't aware of all of the adult. You know conversations and what sometimes the parents are trying to teach us, but the body picks it up. And the body picked up fear and the body picked up seriousness around money. And I learned very quickly that money was serious and that there are consequences for money. And you know strong emotions can either enhance or suppress our memory. So when we feel fear with certain situations, this, the brain records these details in our neurons to help us avoid these similar situations in the future and to use appropriate caution so these patterns don't disappear when we make more money or when we have more assets. They live in our body until we tend to them, and so this is why it's so important that I really encourage clients to slow down, to take more time to ponder.

Erin Gray: 11:01

When I say ponder, I don't necessarily mean with your mind, I mean become introspective. See what you're feeling in your body when you are interacting with your money or when you're paying bills, or when you want to purchase something and you hear no delay or you know put it off or no. You can't have that. And the third thing, I think, is just the overall lack of nervous system safety. You know, we can intellectually I think a lot of us intellectually know that abundance is available to us and that it's your birthright. Like, how many times have we heard that and I? But if your nervous system is not on board, if you haven't taken that into your body and embodied it and believe it and know that it is true, then your system, your nervous system, is going to be running off those, the similar or the familiar scarcity and fear. And so there is a difference of knowing something in the mind and then actually bringing it into the body and making it true. So I think that true wealth really means rewiring. Yes, it is more money, but it really comes back to rewiring your nervous system to feel safe in the having, in the circulation of money and time and love, and really truly putting this into practice so that you can see right.

Erin Gray: 12:32

Like we can talk about things. I can teach you and tell you how to ride a bike, how to get on a surfboard, but until you actually do it, until you feel what it feels like to pedal those pedals and feel what, what that balance is like, you won't know what is best for you or how to balance, until you actually do it, and do it multiple times yourself. So I would encourage you. What is one thing that you can do this week? To take it into your body. So, if you truly believe in abundance, okay. What is one thing that you can do to act from an abundant place? Okay? So let's talk about just how to shift into sufficiency and, ultimately, abundance. I don't know if maybe you do, but for my journey and for others, what I have found is you don't go from scarcity to abundance. Sometimes it's too big of a nervous system, but you do go from and you can move from scarcity to sufficiency and insufficiency to abundance. So let's talk about how to actually begin this shift. So there are.

Erin Gray: 13:40

I always say play with practices, you know, um, so that you can see what works for you in your body. I was just talking to another colleague yesterday and we were talking about her group program and she was saying about how, you know, she doesn't have set ways for them to get into their body which that is what I have subscribed to as well because everyone is going to feel different. You know, tapping for you might not be the best thing, for somebody else it may not resonate. So you have to really just play with some of these resources and these practices and get into your body to see what works for you, how to move the energy, how to ground in, and they're not overnight fixes, you know. This work is really about repatterning and this work is something that takes.

Erin Gray: 14:32

When I say time, I mean time is relative, right, but it's just not something that you feel one way in one day and then you feel completely transformed and all is, you know, cleaned and cleared up overnight. So, first and foremost, what I always encourage you to do is to pause and actually, the moment that you feel that panic, that contraction, the guilt around money. Pause and ask yourself what story or belief am I believing right now? That is creating this sensation in my body. This takes slowing down. This looks like being aware of your thoughts, and if you are like how I was six years ago, you are probably running so fast that you might not even know the thoughts that you're having. So maybe it's just putting a timer on your phone initially and seeing what are the thoughts that you're thinking when you're working with your money or in your business, when you sit down before to do your business. You know like to work in your business, like what are some of the thoughts that you're having, what are some of the thoughts that you have while you're cooking dinner.

Erin Gray: 15:39

Just start to pay attention to what are those thoughts and then the next step I would say is to regulate your nervous system, which is a much bigger umbrella and um more intensive than just noticing thoughts. Right, so you can, I always say, take a breath right, breathe, inhale, exhale. We always have our breath. You can do box breathing, you can do tapping, you can do breath work, you can do Reiki. I mean there's just so many. You can go ground and walk out in the grass, you can meditate, you can get on your bike I mean there's so many different ways that you can get into your body and releasing the energy that has been suppressed, your body, and releasing the energy that has been suppressed, I always say also, too, of like tending to that little child within you, so placing your hand on your heart.

Erin Gray: 16:32

How can you have more compassion in this moment and saying to yourself you know, I'm here for you. You know what's what's scaring you right now, what's bothering you. You know you're the, the inner child. Healing has been really impactful for me and my clients because, because energy knows no time and space, you can go back, you can talk to that little girl inside of you when she experienced something that maybe she didn't get to express her feelings or she didn't know how to express her feelings, and so it got swept underneath the rug, like you can go back in your mind's eye and you can pay attention to her and you can ask her what she needs. And I want you to know that it all works.

Erin Gray: 17:12

You just have to decide what are, what are the ways that you are going to use these tools to support you and that feel good for you and you know what. There also have been times where I started with some of these tools and they worked, and it's not to say that they don't work now, but there's just other ways that I like to use these tools or other tools I like to use to get into the body. So there is no right or wrong here. This is another opportunity for you to trust yourself to you, to trust your body to you, for you to trust your intuition and see, like, what works best for you. So play with these ways to support yourself, and if you want support through this, I'm here to help you. All you have to do is just reach out, click the link in the show notes and I'd be happy to have a call with you. And then the final thing is to practice.

Erin Gray: 18:05

I would think, first and foremost, sufficient ways of thinking. Ultimately, you can go to abundant or generous ways of thinking, but I think this is really important because so often we let thoughts just come in and we don't correct them. So you really have to start being disciplined with your mind, like so disciplined and watchful. When I hear a thought that is not in alignment with a belief or where I'm going, I immediately stop it, and I don't want to say stop it, but I pay attention to it and I either dig deeper and I find out what is that belief that's really creating that thought, or I decide I'm going to choose something and have a different thought as well. So one of the things that you can do on a daily basis, multiple times a day, is intentionally look for where abundance already exists.

Erin Gray: 19:00

I think so often when we're starting some of this work, because we are in that scarcity mindset, we're looking at what we don't have, but we aren't focused on what we actually already do have. So maybe you need to start away from money, because that might be so activating for you right now. But look at the trees, look at how much water we have, look at the air that we breathe, look at the ideas that everybody has and what we've been able to create. Look at the sunlight, the plastic and I know that's might be not be the best example, but there is so much plastic, um, and I think that's I think that's a really good example of how we can create a. So just look in your home, look at like, everywhere there is, there is money everywhere and there is abundance everywhere, and so so really just start noticing how much money there is out there and also how much just abundance.

Erin Gray: 19:57

You know, the same thing like with scarcity. We want to think scarcity and money. We also want to think abundance and money. But there's an abundance of love, there's an abundance of joy, there's abundance of feelings, there's abundance of time, there's abundance of people. It's just there's so much in. Just think about abundance as this overall thing, versus just with money.

Erin Gray: 20:18

And then I would encourage you to really anchor in into the identity work. Like at the end of the day, I'm always going to come back to who is the woman that? And then fill in the blank who is the woman that feels abundant, that allows money to circulate easily and freely and knows that it will come back to her? Who is the woman that trusts herself with her decision-making? Who is the woman that honors her knowing and moves forward with her decision with her? Who is the woman that honors her knowing and her intuition and makes decisions from that place versus outsourcing her power to other people? So think about yourself now, and up until this point you might have been a person that has identified with scarcity, and because of this you probably have plenty of evidence. So what I want you to do is start playing with the idea of who are you when you are no longer ruled by fear? Who are you when you believe that everything is working out for you? Who are you that trust God or spirit source universe to co-create with you? Who are you that moves from ease and calm instead of rushed and hustle? You know, begin showing up as her. So you have to start thinking and speaking, deciding, investing from her, from that grounded, knowing place. You know what would be the first step that you would change and then go do that.

Erin Gray: 21:44

You know, releasing scarcity mindset is not just this instant, overnight hack that we, you know. It's just not. Like I said before, it's not there one minute and then it's gone the next. And I believe that it takes devotion to you and where you're going and the life that you're creating. Devotion to you and where you're going and the life that you're creating. I believe that this money work is a sacred journey back to you and to yourself and recognizing that your wholeness and abundance has always been within you. It's always been there all along. What we're doing is we're just peeling back these stories that had us believing something else. So if this episode spoke to you and you're ready to do this work at a deeper level, in a way that feels really regulated, safe and soul aligned, I invite you to book a call with me so that we can discuss how I can support you. The link is in the show notes and, as always, thank you for being here. I see you, I celebrate you, I honor you and I believe in you. Until next time.