Your Money, Your Rules | Money Mindset, Money Management, Abundance Mindset, Budgeting, Spirituality

136 | 3 Things Your Mortgage Lender Should Do (with Jax Crider)

• Erin Gray | Spiritual Wealth Coach, Former Certified Financial Planner and CFO

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Why do some mortgage experiences feel seamless while others turn into nightmares? It’s not just about interest rates; it’s about the lender guiding you through the process.

In this episode, mortgage expert Jacqueline “Jax” Crider shares what most borrowers overlook: not all lenders are created equal. With 20+ years of experience and a law degree, Jax explains why the right mortgage partner should challenge your assumptions, uncover better options, and help you make decisions from confidence, not fear.

We also dive into the emotional side of money — from shame and guilt to the hesitation women often feel about investing in themselves.

You’ll learn:

  • Why interest rate isn’t the only factor that matters in a mortgage
  • How transparency with your lender can save you stress and money
  • The role of shame and fear in financial decision-making
  • Why calculated risks are essential for growth
  • How to align financial choices with your values and energy


If you want to learn more about Jax, you can connect with her here: (https;//urals.co/jax-crider)

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From my soul to yours,

Erin

Erin Gray:

Welcome back to your Money, your Rules podcast. On the podcast today, I have a special guest for you. I invited Jacqueline Kreider, or you might hear me refer to her as Jax. She and I share similar values in regard to empowering women to trust themselves and their intuition. We also think outside the box when it comes to finance. Jax is the founder of PBJ Mortgage, where she simplifies the mortgage process for buyers who want more than just a loan. They actually want a plan and she also leads Financial Mastery Simplified, which is a coaching and education platform that helps women and professionals rewrite their money stories and build financial lives that actually work for them. With over two decades in finance, a law degree and a bold mission to disrupt outdated money rules which I love, because that is absolutely what I stand for Jax equips her clients to ditch fear-based decisions and step into financial freedom on their own terms. I hope that you enjoy listening to this conversation as much as I did having it, so let's dive in. Thanks, jax, for being here, of course.

Jax Crider:

Thank you for having me.

Erin Gray:

So I want to talk about because I think, from the lens I love like picking people's brains from the back end of and sharing and it kind of exposing for lack of a better word of what you see on your end. So tell me, because I think most of my listeners have had mortgages and for a lot of us we would probably think now we might think a mortgage is a mortgage is a mortgage, or a lender is a lender is a lender, and also we've had lenders or mortgage companies who have been very fun to deal with and we have had some who have not been. So tell me kind of what your approach to mortgage lending is, how it's kind of different than maybe what mainstream kind of tells us or teaches us what mortgage lending is.

Jax Crider:

So first of all, I will start by saying I've done all the things in lending, so like if there's pretty much a job in lending, I've done it. I've been an underwriter, a processor, mortgage compliance. I hold a law degree, but most of my career has been spent in origination. For those of you who are not familiar with what origination is, it's basically the person who's a front runner, talking to you and setting up your loan to be able to get it made right. So it's a loan officer person right. That has mainly been my period of expertise and I will tell you it's not entirely your fault that you think that all lenders are created equal, because really big players in our game have convinced you that the only thing that matters in the mortgage space is interest rate. I actually did an entire podcast episode myself on I actually don't think it was a podcast episode, I think it was just for my channel, like my PBJ Mortgage TV about interest rate and why it's important. But it is not the only thing that matters, and so let me kind of explain why the lender that you use really can kind of, I guess, make or break your process. So first of all, understand that not all lenders are created equal in how much experience we hold right. So, loans there are, first of all, hundreds of different kinds of loan types. So I guarantee you you've heard of the big ones, right. You've heard conventional, you've heard FHA, you've heard DA, you may have heard of USDA, you've heard of jumbo. These are probably the ones you've heard of.

Jax Crider:

What you don't understand is that there's products that are underlying each of these buckets. That's one thing, and then there are even more nuanced. So there's like weird specialty products, non-qm loans, like there's all these different kinds of loan types and products. And so I think a lot of people have this idea when they're buying a house, because they're trying to equate it to the most similar experience they've ever had. It's similar to buying a car. Car loans there's really only a couple of options, right, mortgage loans. If you disseminate it down to the amount of different choices we can offer you on interest rate, the amount of different programs we can offer you, the amount of different lengths of time that you can take out the loan for, right, so 30, 20, or 15, 10, all these different kinds of combination, you literally have millions and millions of combinations of choices that we can offer you.

Jax Crider:

And so if you don't have any experience utilizing all those different program types, really disseminating down and understanding the unique profile of each and every person, it's super hard to be able to give clear and actionable advice. And so what happens is the lending person is probably just going to take the path of least resistance and whatever it is you say you want, they're just going to give it to you. So if you say, great, I want the lowest interest rate, even if that interest rate may not be the best choice for your financial needs, they're just going to provide it for you because it's the path of least resistance. It means that they get the sale and so that's what they care about. Right, and I firmly believe that that should not be the case.

Jax Crider:

Each person is unique. You have unique needs. It is my job to not only disseminate what those are but also push back on you if you are making what I believe might be a wrong step. Right, so it's still going to be your choice. I want to empower you to make that call, but if I have more information than you do which I do I need to be able to do my fiduciary responsibility of saying, hey, have you considered this? You should maybe look at this. This is why and unfortunately a lot of people in my space they only see the dollar signs when they enter a mortgage. They don't really care as much about the individual, and that makes me very sad, first of all, and then second of all, it just yields a lot of people not understanding their process, not being informed and not making educate, empower decisions, and it is what my brand is all about and why I even started in the first place.

Erin Gray:

Yeah, you touched on something that is really important to me as a consumer. Is, you said, knowledge or time? You know, time in motion doesn't necessarily equate knowledge, right?

Erin Gray:

Because someone could stay in a someone could stay somewhere and not learn. But you and I have had conversations offline and I've been on your podcast and we've had conversations around that and it's it's important and I think that you do right, like you have the knowledge and you care and that is something that a quarter of a point or you know. Like it's you're paying for the knowledge and the expertise of someone, even though you're still going to run it back through your own intuition and check your decision-making. But, like what you said, right, when someone knows more than you, it's like I have clients that say all this all the time Like I don't know what, I don't know, and it's like, yeah, then you want to be working and have a team of people that are going to advise you about things that they have seen on their backend that you might never even think about.

Erin Gray:

And I also think with lending, it's very similar to what you kind of said to realty. It's like it might be easy to get into, like the barrier to entry is very easy, kind of like coaching, like I think anybody could just be a coach, right, but like what are your tools in your toolkit? What experiences have you seen? What have you done and how have you service clients? I think is so important because I think a lot of times, also as the consumer, we think that we have to go with this mortgage company.

Erin Gray:

There's been several times that we have bought houses and the realtor wants to go work with this mortgage company or lending company and I'm like absolutely not Right. And so just having knowing this and knowing you have a choice with your lending company, even if it's not where your realtor goes with, and I have worked with mortgage companies who have fumbled the ball, even though I have been calling myself, you know, and I've also worked with lending companies who have closed our home in less than six days. So it's just, it's. It all goes back to like do your due diligence. And also, like what you're saying, it's not all about the money. Right, money does matter, but at the end of the day, the relationship because I I think about it this way too is like you're probably not going to buy just one home your entire life, and so you want someone that's going to grow with you and to expand and to advise you as you grow your assets and you assets and step into different mortgages and change houses or rental properties or whatever it might be.

Jax Crider:

Well, I'll give you a perfect example of exactly this. So your patterns that you don't even realize you create financially, they show up places. So we had a client one time who's referred to us and we started talking to them and he was adamant that he wanted a 30-year fixed interest rate. Okay, perfect, no problem, right? Because, of course, arm loans, or adjustable rate mortgages for those of you who don't understand that that's an acronym got a really bad rap right, and the 08-09 crash. Lots of people started believing that they were kind of the devil and this is a horrible product. Historically speaking, they actually perform better than fixed rate mortgages, like over the course of time, but they don't fit everybody's situation. Okay, and so we were reviewing his credit report and what you could see was a clear pattern that every two to three years, he either refinanced or sold a house Literally, I mean, it was on his credit report Boom, boom, boom boom. So I challenged his viewpoint and we said okay, so I totally understand. You want a 30-year fixed rate of interest. That's great, that's awesome. Why? Well, because I don't want to deal with an adjustable rate loan. Okay, that's fair.

Jax Crider:

Do you understand that there are such things called fixed period arms, which means that it is fixed for a period of time, usually three, five or seven years and then after this period, it does adjust. There's very specific numbers that determine these adjustments. We can explain them to you, but I will tell you, historically speaking, from your own credit profile, you show that you usually only keep this loan for this long, so you actually are going to pay a higher interest rate by doing this than taking this RM product. I understand from your perspective that in your mind that is a riskier product. It is, but it's a calculated risk, right, and so I'm not telling you to do it. I'm telling you you should take it into consideration, based on your own profile of how you spend and use money.

Jax Crider:

This is not Jack saying, oh, I want to push my client into an arm loan. This is me looking at your situation and saying this might be something you want to take into consideration, and unfortunately, a lot of people again, because they just want the money. They're not going to challenge the viewpoint of the consumer and in my mind, a great expert does that. It is my job to give you a different perspective, to give you a different viewpoint and then trust that I gave you the information and that you know yourself well enough to say you know, I think this is what fits me and my family, or no, I still want to go with what I wanted originally. Great, I don't struck the check like you do, that's fine. I just want to make sure that you have the information so you can make a well-informed choice.

Erin Gray:

Yeah, what do you see? Like, if you were to think of, like the top three things that you see on your end in your back office that maybe we as the consumer aren't aware of, that, you'd be like, oh I, if I could tell you three things to pay attention to, these are the three. I mean, I'm sure there's probably way more than that, but like, what are the top three that come to mind?

Jax Crider:

So I will tell you, first of all, what most people don't realize is how many people are actually involved in a real estate transaction. There are a ton of them, and the one thing that's super important to remember is the lending institution. We are the central point of that. In essence, you can think of us as sort of the ringleader of the circus, so we're trying to make sure that everything is going on right, that each act is coming on as they're supposed to and that people aren't throwing wrenches. And we joke all the time that if everybody did their part in the transaction and didn't throw any wrenches, man, we could close millions of transactions a month. It would be easy peasy.

Jax Crider:

But unfortunately, life be lifing and humans be humaning, and so that doesn't exactly go according to plan. And so the challenge is is that if you don't have somebody who can pivot and understand and has we usually have plan B, c, d, we usually have a couple of them or if we don't have those plans, you also know, like Erin, look, here's the situation. This is a very difficult file, like you understand. You know, here are the challenges, here's how we're combating them. Like we're very transparent, and what you have to understand is is like if you don't not only not have the knowledge on the back end to make these things fly, but also if you don't have a team that has the ability to pivot, it can really bite you in the rear end.

Jax Crider:

And I'll give you a very recent example. We had a client doing a very difficult loan, so he was having to do a non-QM loan. For those of you who are not familiar, that means non-qualified mortgage and it doesn't fall under the standard Fannie Mae Freddie Mac rules of play. And so it was a bank statement loan product. Because he's self-employed and everything was fine. We went in for clear to close and, for whatever reason we believe it was actually about the interest rate we had locked in at because the market had shifted the underwriter decided to climb the file. Do they have full authority?

Erin Gray:

to do that.

Jax Crider:

They do, okay, they do so they could be clear to close.

Erin Gray:

I mean clear to close is like within a couple, like a week, right, Like that's pretty, like you have that information. Pretty, maybe a couple of weeks.

Jax Crider:

If the lending institution is good, we usually try to have the clear to close at least two to four days prior to close, but it doesn't happen later than you think of the transaction. So understand what happened first is we got an approval. We got a conditional approval that said, hey, as long as you meet these conditions, you're good. Right, and they gave us the thumbs up. So we were good, we met all the conditions. But they just decided they didn't like one little piece of the paperwork and again, I firmly believe it was about the numbers that the interest rates had shifted negatively, so the rates had gone up.

Erin Gray:

Meaning going up His interest rate was. He's actually getting less. He's going to have to pay less. Yep A better deal.

Jax Crider:

That's right. And so they were like heck, we don't feel like this risk is worth it. And so the underwriter said nah, we're just going to get rid of it. Well, I mean, this guy has a whole bunch of money out there and a whole bunch of money on the line. And so what did my team do? Not only did we have to shift it to another company another that's why we're a broker we could shift it and move it over to somewhere else. We actually end up getting him as close as we could to the rake From where I told you, the rate increased to not hit him because technically, it wasn't his fault.

Jax Crider:

I mean, it wasn't ours either, but it doesn't matter. We did right by the client to make sure to not only hold this longstanding relationship, but also to make sure that we mitigated some of what he would have gotten hit with right. And so the ability to pivot is a huge factor, right? The other thing that I will tell you is it is so, so, so, so important that the person you're working with ask you questions up front, because, remember, we were just literally talking about an underwriter and their ability to make or break those deals. I always tell my clients. It's like this we're painting a picture and we need the picture to be complete and even though some of the things in our lives might not be pretty right Like we had a little snafu or we had a job loss, like a little gap right, or we totally blitzed and forgot to make a payment on a credit card or whatever it is it's not that that is a big deal, because an underwriter is a human and can understand that sometimes life happens. We need to paint a complete picture and we need to be on the same page and you have to be transparent with us and we have to be transparent with you. And if those things aren't happening, I will tell you nine times out of ten, when things come at the end of the day, it's because somebody hid something up front and I will tell you. You think you can get away with it. I promise you. I literally wrote the book on it, mortgage 101, a Secret Sauce of Home. Buying that book.

Jax Crider:

I actually give several examples where, like, people tried not to listen or they tried to do it their own way or hide something, and guess what? Because we run a battery of reports. This is something that a lot of people don't realize. You know we run reports. I don't think you know to the extent of the reports we run. We run a fraud report has your name and this is any like there are going to be other people with your exact name. Did they pull up on fraud report and then we have to cross-reference to see is it actually you or is it some other person with your name? We run reports to see if you own any other properties and a lot of times this is where a mom or dad threw you on the title to something and you may not even have really realized it All of a sudden. Guess what it?

Erin Gray:

perks up or credit cards. I had my ex-husband actually he didn't know we were, we, I think we were actually trying to get a house, I think that's what how it came out and we realized that his mom had been using his credit cards unbeknownst to him and did not pay them, or they had a line. I mean like we're not talking like $100. We're talking like thousands, maybe tens of thousands of dollars. We found that out.

Jax Crider:

So, yeah, you'd be surprised. I mean, and so literally, you have to trust us implicitly. And if you don't, if you aren't willing to share this information, I'm going to tell you no matter how wonderful the lender is, you should consider finding one that you do trust, that you can lay bare to, because the truth is is that, first of all, we don't usually get to decide what pieces of information we need. We get told right. Also, understand that the better the lender, the better like understanding, the more of the expert they are, the less of that chaos. You see, I can guarantee you there's somebody who's listening to this podcast right now who said to themselves man, I felt like they asked me for 4,000 pieces of documentation.

Jax Crider:

The reason that happened is number one they didn't ask you enough questions up front. Number two, when the chaos started happening on the back end and all these question marks started popping up, the lender did not push back at all the loan officer. They didn't say, hey, you don't actually need that. You have this piece of information. We can make an inference here, and my team does that the back end, we will push back on you and we will say hey, not to say that we will not get the underwriter what they need? We will. We will get the underwriter what they need, but we are not afraid to say, hey, in our experience we've used this, this should be sufficient. Yes, the underwriter will be like oh yeah, you know what You're right? Right, because, again, they're humans too and they're working through 800 different files and trying to, you know, go down, and so sometimes they throw some conditions into the mix that are maybe a little bit unnecessary, and so we're protecting you from that.

Jax Crider:

It's actually why PBJ Mortgage was born. We're making mortgage simple. Simple is making a peanut butter jelly sandwich. We wanted it to be as simple as you just following steps and trusting us, so that the chaos does not come into your life. It's already a stressful process. You do not need more stress added to the transaction. It's just unnecessary.

Erin Gray:

I want to go back and say something that you said you know like about hiding, and I want to say to each of you that are listening, I think that this comes down to our emotions. Right, we hide from things when we feel shame and guilt. And Jax and I have had several conversations offline about money, and I mean she helps her clients with money, I help my clients with money. It's ultimately all about emotions, is really? I mean, it's it's numbers, but it's really emotions. And so if you are hiding something or you feel for what, if I'm being completely honest, which I always am, what always comes up for me is that inadequacy. That is what I feel, the not good enough or the not. I mean, it doesn't matter what the numbers are. Still not enough is what, and which is ultimately lack, which you know.

Erin Gray:

That's what I work on, but I think for a lot of us, right Like we, we fantasize that all of these other people have all their shit together and we're the only ones that you know think that we are like a mess and number one, not true?

Erin Gray:

And and I'm sure Jax can attest to how many thousands of loan applications she's seen like right Like we all have our things and I think that when you can, I would advise that before you actually like, even in the process, but like really get get clear and and work through some of that emotional stuff, because it's coming up, because it needs to be released and processed, and so, like you can do that.

Erin Gray:

When I say on your own, what I mean is like if you're feeling that before you go into a conversation with your lender, right, you need to like journal it or like I mean I was even feeling that we recently, you know, purchased a car and I was having some, I was like, nope, before I fill out my application, I am going to like I'm going to shift this energy, right. And then I went into the energy of like, no, you would be lucky, I have paid everything on time, all the time, you know. And so it's just that it's that mindset that we have around, fear and shame and guilt that we have with money and I want each of you to know that you are not alone, we all experience it and also like telling yourself more empowering things to go into lending from that space.

Jax Crider:

Well, I'm like you, I'm incredibly honest and I will tell you guys. So, first of all, life is all about living in alignment and understand that when you're making decisions, they're not all going to work out according as planned. It's just, that is just the way, and so you can't hold shame and guilt. I mean Erin knows my personal situation. Like, we have this big calculated risk that my husband and I took in real estate on a property, and it's not necessarily that the risk hasn't paid off, but the entire scenario where life just kind of started lifing has really basically put my husband and I in a financial turmoil that is huge, I mean to the point where we're practically bankrupt. Okay, just to be very transparent with your audience and understand that I have two choices here I can sit in shame and be like oh my gosh, right, like I'm supposed to be the expert in the space, like how could I get myself here right? Or I can know that there was a lot of pieces of this puzzle, some of which were outside of my control, right, and all I can do is control myself, my emotions, what's going on inside of me, to make and bridge the gap right and move forward in the best way that I can, and it actually was going to bring me to.

Jax Crider:

One of the points I wanted to talk about, too, is strategy, because I agree with you Oftentimes, when we start having feelings about the stuff bubbling up, we need to step back and we need to be a little bit more strategic. We need to ensure that we are in alignment. We need to understand because I jokingly say that anytime you come to me and you want to purchase a house, the answer is not no. It may be not now, but it's not no, and we can pretty much figure out or educate you. Get through almost anything you've got.

Jax Crider:

So, as opposed to sitting yourself in shame and wasting time and valuable resources of energy right Of sitting in the guilt and the shame, instead, take some time for yourself, really step back and then pick an expert that is going to be empathetic, that's going to understand that sometimes stuff happens right. It just is what it is. Those people will be in your corner. They will show you how to fix it. They will show you what needs to happen to make your dreams a reality, but not if you're too afraid to ask the question, to put yourself out there.

Jax Crider:

Whatever I mean, I literally spend so many hours creating not only content for the podcast videos for my other YouTube channel lead magnets, as well as books and resources to show people, hey, like there is education out there, like you can get a little bit down the path and then find that expert, and that's what you have to do. So I just wanted to make sure that I let you know, like, hey, me too right, like I have had some challenges too. Me too right, like I have had some challenges too. And it doesn't mean that you can't be hugely successful or exactly where you want to be right. You just have to be not afraid to take the step.

Erin Gray:

Yeah, I think one. Thank you for sharing that, because I think a lot of I mean our forefathers like they wrote it into the constitution, right. Fathers, you know, like they wrote it into the constitution, right. So it's not. It's not a um I think that there have been people that do that, do experience bankruptcy. There is this shame around it, right, but the depending on the energy that you went into it with right, and if you go into it with the energy of like I'm betting on myself, I'm doing the thing Like that's really what. I think that that that was why that was written into the constitution.

Erin Gray:

Right Is is to allow for risk takers, and I don't think women, by and large, are huge risk takers, and that is one thing that I have seen and I have noticed in myself, and that is something that I've really been working through, because you know, like if you want to live this big, boisterous, amazing, vibrant, like all the things life like you are going, like it involves risk, right, and sometimes that means it doesn't work out the way you thought it would, but God's spirit source has a better plan for you and it will work out however he wants it to. Right. And so I think, being willing and I'm not saying, you know, bet it all on the house. I'm not saying that either but I am saying, like you have to be willing right To, like you, you and your husband Jack's like you were willing to take that risk If you even want to call it a risk right, like you were.

Erin Gray:

I like to look at it as like you are investing in yourself and in your future and you've learned lessons along the way and you'll come out and you'll be fine and you'll, you know, make different decisions, or the same decision, but a different way, like. And so I just think that, as women, how can we, what would you advise to empower them to be to bet on themselves more Like we bet on, we bet on our children's education, we bet on our retirement 401k or our step account, or we bet on, we bet on our children's education, we bet on our retirement 401k or our SEP account, or we bet on all of these external things. And we don't. We haven't always developed that skillset of betting on ourselves Success or some nonsense like this.

Jax Crider:

And then I was like, man, I don't, I don't even like, like what the heck I'm even creating over here, like this life that I'm living, like, why am I even making these choices? And so you can't be afraid, no matter what it is, mortgage or otherwise. Right to ask the questions, to dig deep, to find community. Who is going to give you perspective, without guilt or shame, because that's different. Somebody pushing back on you with perspective and trying to say, hey, erin, I need you to see that this is how this is right, or this is something that you might want to take a look at or consider, versus somebody saying, erin, what are you stupid Like, why in the world would you do it that way? This is clearly the only way you should do it. Like that's not the know what I mean, that's not the way. And so, um, and you just have to trust in yourself.

Jax Crider:

And I feel like, as women, I don't know why this is. I think part of the reason sometimes we feel like men succeed higher than us is because we are constantly doubting ourselves. It's like society and our families and everybody have put this unnecessary pressure on, and men are like, oh, I failed, okay, whatever. And they just like move on on the path. And so the truth is is we need to take a little bit of a page from that playbook and realize like we're going to stumble and we're going to fall and it's so different than we teach our toddler or our kids Okay, you fell, right.

Jax Crider:

Like be in all the feels for a minute, be upset and emotional and whatever you need to feel. Let it all out. But then let's not beat ourselves up about it, like get back up and move on down the path, right. And so I definitely have to learn that more than I'd like over the last couple of years, but in a weird way it's made me better at being able to share my story and give more women permission to step into themselves. Like wow, she came from this like horrible, crazy financial situation and she allowed it to not break her. Mind you, I am still behind the scenes, struggling at moments, crying, being upset. You know what I mean. But on the same token, I still know it's not a representation of me personally, it's not a personal failure and I don't need to take it or hold it as such.

Erin Gray:

Yes, I think what we do is we internalize it and we make the circumstance mean something about us, and it means nothing about us.

Erin Gray:

We literally have the power to make it mean whatever we want it to mean. So if that is true, which I believe it is, then choose it in an empowering way to fuel you towards next thing, versus to to draw you back into your shell and to not take any more risks. You said two things that I wanted to go back to is, um, you know, like working with people that, um, empower you, that do push back on maybe your mindset, cause I probably would be that guy right, like I probably have. I think we've always done like 30 years, and then I moved it to 15 and then I moved it to seven, right, and so I was doing that kind of thing, and so it is important to have people that push back on you and you were saying, you know, but not the ones that with the shame and the guilt and I always advise clients in in on the podcast it's like we don't have to tolerate body talking down to us- and.

Erin Gray:

I think a lot of people, a lot of people do. It's almost like, well, I have this amount of years with my CPA and it's going to be air quotes, difficult to find someone. It's like, yeah, but that's worth it. Right, that is worth it to go find someone to treat you well, to have people on your team. And the other thing I think about is I think that just as the more money you make, just the numbers just get bigger in terms of risk, right. Like. So, a risk to somebody who's never taken a risk might be a couple thousand dollars of investing in themselves, right, somebody who's taken millions of dollars of risk, their risk might need to be tens, 1500 million.

Erin Gray:

So I think it's all relative and I think that it's just like I want to to, to challenge, or for you to ponder you know where is my risk, where is my next step? I shouldn't say risk Where's my next step, where's my next growth? And like am I doing that or am I shying away from it? And you'll know by how you feel in your body. You know, like, if you're doing that from a place of um pressure, or you feel like you have to, or that's very different energy than like no, this is what I want, this is my heart's desire. Um, I want to do this, but it feels a little bit uncomfortable. That's a go sign If it's, you know, I feel like I have to, or someone's telling me I should, which we hear.

Erin Gray:

Like you were saying, jack's about everyone telling us what we should and shouldn't be doing, or how we should invest, or all these things that we hear really got to tap back into yourself. So that brings me to the point of, like, real estate investing. I have women that want to get into real estate investing and, of course, the question is I don't know how, which we never know the how right, until after it's all said and done. But the desire is there and I think a lot of times they think they have to have all the money first, and I'm always an advocate of like no, you, you take the step forward, you have, you know, maybe it's a little bit of the money, and then you, you figure out how to create more money. It's not, let me have all my money, all my eggs, and then I'll go figure out how to do it For sure.

Jax Crider:

So, first of all, I think what you were describing before is important for people to remember that in order to live the most big, beautiful, wonderful life you want to live, you have to expand your container. You can only expand that container, you can only take more on, if you are pushing yourself into the uncomfortable and not the uncomfortable, like you pointed out, that somebody else forced you into, but the uncomfortable that is a step forward in the direction that you want to go, in alignment, but also is not exactly like, like you don't know everything right and it is like the more you force yourself into that, the more you know, the better that you can do. When it comes to investing, there is a lot of different ways and strategies that people can do that Right, and so if they know early on they want to invest, they can try to make their very first home Right, like they can turn that into an investment. For a lot of other people who don't want to do that. It sort of depends on how big and bold you want to go right from the rip.

Jax Crider:

There is a ton of investment-styled loans that are created, like, for instance I'm not sure if you're familiar with what's called DSCR loans. Dscr stands for debt service credit ratio loans. So basically, what's happening is that you actually don't qualify yourself. It's the property that's qualifying. So, yes, you typically do have to have somewhere between 15 and 25% to put down of the property value, right? But understand that, um, what they're doing an appraisal to determine, um, what the actual rental amount would be and what the payment is based off of, and that's how it's being determined, and it also can be protected in an LLC. So, like, the entire thing can be done in an LLC and et cetera. So you're not then risking potentially your personal finances. You're not, um, you know putting other things on something like that you know up at risk. Um, if they don't, they're not trying to do it all on their own.

Jax Crider:

There are now groups that do it, you know. So, like, maybe you have a few friends, two to five people and you want to come together cumulatively and start that LLC and you want to come in and do a DSCR. So that allows you now to offset some of the risk that you're holding right. So there, there's tons of different ways that you can do it. I think the biggest question you have to ask is how involved you want to be right To be able to invest, because there's also large companies that do real estate investing, where you're putting a percent of money, like into a group, and you're just receiving dividends from them. One of the ones that's most famously known right now is like Grant Cardone. That's one of the things he does is basically you take some of the money and you place it with them and they're investing it specifically in real estate holdings. The real estate holding- Like a REIT or-.

Jax Crider:

Kind of yeah, they're basically in their own thing, certain different kinds, and there's ones that are not as big as him. He's just like an example because he has a huge one, but, like I know a friend of mine, they have a group and they do nothing but that. So they basically say, hey, we're going to go in and we're going to buy one or two apartment complexes and now everybody's capital investment is going to be X, y, z dollars and then you're going to receive dividends on this amount or whatever, and they have the portfolio to prove that. They know, you know, know how to do the math and all that. So involvement is going to be a huge deal because you need to kind of decide.

Jax Crider:

Are we looking like on a really more traditional path, like we're trying to build a real estate portfolio? We are, either we are the landlord or we're finding somebody, a property management company, to manage a real estate investment. That's like probably the more traditional path and you can use either. A lot of people will like buy a primary home. They will go, and that allows them to put less money down. For those of you who are wondering why, it's because of a risk factor and so they have to put less money down. They may only have to put five or 10% down right versus a 20 or more percent down, and so then they'll live there for a year or so and then they move out of it, they move in another property, turn that into a rental. So there's like these particular kind of ways, or, like I said, you can do DSCR loans. These are more traditional paths. Or you can go and you can find these groups who are doing a little non traditionally. They're sort of coming as a collective and they're pooling money together to be able to purchase real estate in that way.

Jax Crider:

So lots of unique situations. It just depends on, I would say, involvement is really the bigger question, and capital investment, right, like how much are you willing to pony up for this particular investment? The market right now. The thing to keep in mind is we have been in a seller's market for almost five years and this is the first time in over five years we have not.

Jax Crider:

We are in a very much a buyer's market, and so for investors, this is music to their ears because it means that they can go in and negotiate, they can get money off or whatever, or, if they have a significant pool of cash, go in and buy maybe four or five, six homes right from a builder or something like that, and so lots of opportunity exists if it is something that is exciting to somebody to look into. Again, I'll just say that it's about alignment. So you have to ask yourselves before you step into anything like that, just step back and say is this a path that I want to take? How involved do I want to be? How much money, capital do I want to give up? And then just kind of step backwards that way. Hopefully, that kind of gave you maybe a high level understanding.

Erin Gray:

It's so good that you said that, because my husband and I we were walking, we'd like to walk downtown and the little like areas I'm sure every small town or not small town, but every like downtown area has it Like we had it when we were in Austin right, it's like these little pockets of like homes that have been renovated and, and you know um, are either being sold or rented, and we were talking about getting, you know, back into real estate, investing and talk about alignment jacks. You know, he was like that would be something I would do and I was like, hang on a second, like do I Aaron, aaron, aaron, five years ago, that did all of that. Sure, aaron, now I don't know if that's energetically where I want to spend my time, and you really have to think of your energy like a 360 degree circle, and there you know, the more arrows that you have pointing out is the less energy that it has going to that. So if you have, you know, 40 arrows pointing out versus three arrows or one arrow right, like energetically. And so just being really clear, like not making a decision from money, because my mind would say, oh yeah, there's so much money to be made here. Like I see it, this is and I've said this before but Boise to me reminds me of Austin 25 years ago, and we and we know what Austin looks like now.

Erin Gray:

Right, so the money is there to be made, it's, it's. Do I want to put my heart and my energy there? And I think I think you have to be really clear on that, like what you're saying, because the mind will want to take over. You really clear on that, like what you're saying, because the mind will want to take over and because we value, as a society, money making money so much that we don't actually check in with our hearts to be like, yeah, but do I want to? And the energy that you enter something in is the energy that it's going to come out. Right? So you, if I were doing it from a place of just making money, I'm probably going to have lots of problems. I'm probably going to have all of these things that show up, because the energy isn't from a true heart's desire, it's more of a like okay, I could just, you know, make some quick money.

Jax Crider:

Well, you also aren't necessarily going to have the wherewithal to continue, because remind yourself that, regardless of how well things go at some point in life is going to life and it's going to throw a wrench. Right when I was going back and I was explaining to you on the back end, all these potential wrenches that can get thrown If you don't love what you are picking and choosing to invest in and be a part of, and and put your time and your energy and your money and all these things into, then what's going to happen is when things go sideways or when you, you know, when things don't go according to plan, well, guess what's going to happen? You're going to be like, oh see, I knew this was going to happen, right. Like it's almost like you projected that energy, like you said, into the mid at the onset, right? It's why I firmly believe in you and I've had some conversations that people shouldn't solely just invest in, like maybe the stock market. I'm not saying that you don't make those investments. If that's something, that is good, but if you have other places of alignment, right, if you've got other avenues that really light you up, probably whatever is lighting you up is going to be the path that you should be walking down and trusting what I say.

Jax Crider:

I love my family very dearly and they're amazing, amazing people. But we are very loud, very opinionated individuals amazing people. But we are very loud, very opinionated individuals and my family does not understand a lot of my path with what I'm doing in the education financial space. Right, like you know that I have another company, financial Mastery Simplified, which is very heavy education. It's about overcoming money blocks and a lot of these aspects that I find cause challenges, and not just the mortgage space but like an overall financial success, and my family doesn't get it. I mean, my mom literally said to me she goes. You know, I think it's great that you want to do that, but I just don't think people care. You know what I mean and like.

Jax Crider:

So sometimes we have to understand that just because it lights us up and just because it excites us and it gets us going, doesn't mean that the rest of the world's even going to understand, like, what it is that we're doing. Right, it's kind of like when you go into a house I don't know if any of you have ever had this experience and you walk in and it just it's like it feels like home and you can't explain it. And maybe it has the ugliest colored paint on the outside and you're like thinking in your brain, your brain, man, I'm about to spend like 30 grand repaint this dang house, but you know what I mean? Like you just can't explain it like that. That is the thing I mean.

Jax Crider:

It's the same thing with with investments. I, I, I think and I think, unfortunately, in our space, people are only ever dialing in on the dollars and I'm not saying that. The math of the math, guys, the math is important, okay, and you do have to understand it. You need to to understand in a broader perspective, how the general math works, but it doesn't mean that it has to be the only decision factor. When you are making choices, big financial choices like mortgage, like investing, like all these things right, these are big financial choices you need to make sure, first and foremost, you're making them in alignment and that you are not making them out of fear or guilt or shame or any of these kinds of places.

Erin Gray:

Yeah, I love that. What else do you want to add that maybe I didn't ask you, or I mean, I know we could go on and riff forever, but is there anything based on what I have that we have talked about, that you want to add to?

Jax Crider:

Yeah, the one thing. So there's two really quick points that I'll make. So for any of you who are maybe in the process of either looking to purchase a house or maybe that's going to be down the path here fairly quickly, there is a product that we actually give to any and everybody, like we pay for it as a company, pvj Mortgage Pays for it and basically it will help you look at like exactly where your credit score is, like the actual mortgage score, not these crazy credit scores and all these other companies pretend is your actual credit score what mortgage is actually looking at. Okay, it'll also help you understand how ready you are like on your other financials and you can put as much or as little into it. Right, you can share as much or a little information. Like I can't go in there and like be like, ooh, what's Aaron's like every situation? No, it's not like that. So that's super helpful thing If you are in the phase of life where you are dealing with kids that are either going to college or going very soon.

Jax Crider:

Aaron and I are on the same page on this. We actually talked about maybe doing another podcast episode specifically in relation to this, but make sure that you are having guys with your kiddos about money and making sure that you're not setting them up for failure in their financial future or throwing a grenade in your own life because you felt the guilt and shame societally that you need to be pushing them down a particular path. And I actually have something that I'll give Aaron the link to, where it just kind of helps you understand, like how to open these conversations up, how to be having them at the dinner table, because that's the biggest thing. You're not a rock, just like a rock didn't fall out of the sky and hit you on the head when you turned 18 and you were trying to figure out money. It's the same thing for your kids, and so I get it.

Jax Crider:

You don't feel prepared, you don't feel like you know what the heck you're talking about. This is kind of to help you, you know kind of ease into some of these conversations, and so I just encourage you in everything you do financially, live in alignment. I know that is what Erin preaches and it's why she and I are so aligned and we like collaborating, because it is so, so important, especially as women. We've not been empowered for too long, and so now's the time. Take back your power. Don't let anybody else hold it financially.

Erin Gray:

Yeah, I love that you said that about the kids, because I have a lot of people that ask, like, how do I teach them when I'm still figuring it out? And it's like you're the perfect person, right Like? You just start talking about money. I mean, I have clients that never talked about money because their parents never talked about money. And then I have clients like myself too.

Erin Gray:

You know, it's like work where finances were this like conflicting, yelling, arguing, right, so you're just learning and you're talking about it and you're normalizing, just having conversations about money and not being emotionally charged and saying to your kid you know what, I'm figuring it out along the way and being real and transparent, because that that is what. That is what they're actually looking for. And they pay attention to energy too, right Like. So it's okay to say you know what? I don't have it figured all out yet, but I am moving forward and I am looking at things differently and I mean I even have to like pause, you know, tell my kid like, hang on a second, I don't want to make this rush decision, I want to be actually have time to think about it, and it's okay to tell our kids that you know so, um, so, yeah, I love it. Thank you, jax, for coming on, for sharing your time with us. Yeah, Okay, until next time.