Your Money, Your Rules | Money Mindset, Money Management, Abundance Mindset, Budgeting, Spirituality

161 | Stop Dreading Tax Season: Nervous System Tools and Year-End Tax Prep for Female Entrepreneurs

• Erin Gray | Wealth Coach, Former CFP and CFO

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In this episode, my desire is for you to shift your mindset when it comes to taxes and tax season.  You’ll learn how to reframe old money stories, regulate your body during financial stress, and build weekly practices that make tax prep feel intentional instead of urgent.

In this episode, we cover:

 • Naming tax anxiety and rewriting money stories
 • Somatic tools to regulate and release stored stress
 • Reframing taxes as evidence of value and income
 • Reviewing books with your bookkeeper before year-end
 • Tracking PTO exposure and hidden liabilities
 • Meeting your CPA early with clear questions and clean books
 • Timing deductions, retirement funding, and equipment purchases
 • Setting aside taxes consistently and forecasting cash needs
 • Building weekly habits and a mindful money ritual


Resources mentioned in this episode:

Ep. 160 Simple YE Money Rituals for a Calm Tax Season

Ep. 91 CPA vs. Enrolled Agent: Which Tax Professional is Right for You?

Ep. 75 What No one tells you about the emotional highs and lows of a family business



Other ways to connect with me:

Come learn with me in my monthly workshops

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Grab your free Human Design chart

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Work with Me

➡️ Schedule your free clarity call here


From my soul to yours,

Erin

Erin Gray:

Today's episode is for anyone who feels that little wave of tension in your chest, or maybe you tense up hold your breath when you hear the word taxes or tax season, paying taxes, just anything to do related with taxes. This was for sure me, and I will dive into my story a little bit here in this episode. For many of us, the thought of taxes can bring up fear, avoidance, maybe guilt, and even shame, because we just have so many money stories with taxes in tax season. So today I am going to walk you through just a couple of steps to prepare you for tax season. This is part of my tax season series that I wanted to do so that you can do this without feeling stress or scarcity and blend some actual, what I call the 3D actual strategy along with the energetic, the nervous system, the 5D piece. Because, like I say with everything, you know, it starts with energy and energetics first, and then we get into the 3D and the action piece. So let's dive in. Okay, so let's talk about shifting your energy first around taxes. And when I say shifting your energy, I also mean your self-concept. What do you believe about yourself? What are your thoughts and your perception around taxes? So this is, I think is the most important piece. Like the 3D piece, I would say probably falls into place a lot easier if we actually take care of the spiritual, the energetic, the emotional, nervous system regulation piece first. So when you think about taxes, I want you to, and this is definitely an episode for you to get out your journal and pause the episode and write this down or listen to it and then go back and actually take your journal out and listen and listen again and then take some notes. But when you think about taxes, what are some of the stories that come up? What are the words that you use to describe taxes? One of the things that I've really gotten into lately is just recognizing how powerful, like words and language, they mean something. I think for so long, so many of us just throw around words. We don't pay attention to it, but our words are potent. Words mean something. They carry a frequency and a vibration. So what words are you using to describe taxes? What are the feelings that you are feeling in your body when I say taxes? What are some of the stories or the beliefs that you have, whether conscious or unsubconscious, right? Unconscious or subconscious, conscious, when it comes to taxes. I think I have shared on this podcast. And if I haven't, you know, taxes, that was part of the journey, I guess if you want to say, that my dad was trying to empower me on when I was 10. And looking back, you know, of course it came from he was trying to empower me, he was trying to teach me, but my little body, my 10-year-old little body in my prefrontal cortex, did not comprehend. And so the issues that my parents or my dad got into because of his business um with taxes. And actually, I think he talks about this in episode 75. I'll put that in the show notes where he talks about why he was, you know, trying to inform me about taxes and how he kind of got tied up with owing and owing back taxes with his business. But, you know, my body took it as stressful, not safe, and scary for sure. And so because of that, you know, even when I would get letters from the IRS, and it was simply like, oh, you've changed your address. Like, of course, I didn't know that when I got the letter, you know, in the mail, but what I would feel in my body would be this rush. And I would, you know, turn to my husband and I'd be like, What do you feel in your body? And he's like, Nothing, just open it. But so it just it illuminates for us that the stories that we have, the belief systems that we have, the patterns that we have in our body that have been stored in our body and in our organs, they stay there until we are ready to release them. And so if this is you, I want you to know that you are not only the only person that has gone through this. And I think, and I want to acknowledge you and say, and this is the time where you get to support yourself and do that somatic work to release some of this. So if you have, and I'm just gonna name some things that clients have said to me, I've even had um things that I just hear from people around their stories and belief systems when it comes to taxes. So thinking about how like the government takes too much of my money, you know, the government is shisty or corrupt, or they can't even figure out their own money, their $37 trillion in debt. Like, how are they, you know, expecting us to pay our taxes when they can't even manage their own money? Um, maybe it's, you know, concern or fear around not knowing what you're gonna owe. So it's almost like an ostrich, like head in the sand. I'm just not gonna look until I have to. Or maybe you're afraid of what you're going to owe. And so then you avoid. Sometimes some women will say, like, they feel really stupid or silly asking their CPA questions. And I just want to say here and clarify that that is part of their job as a CPA is to educate you and to empower you and to teach you that is part of their job. And if they are acting like it isn't, or that it you're a burden, then maybe it's time to get a new CPA. But just like anything else, we don't know until we learn. And sometimes we need some support outside of us to help us to understand some of this stuff. And I will say, like I've always said, that a lot of times all the systems, right, especially the financial system, has been created to be difficult and hard to understand on purpose, complicated. So think about what are my stories and beliefs that I have with taxes. Spend some time taking your pen to paper, journaling what your beliefs are, because then you will be aware, right? Like awareness is always the first step. And then do this also for the feelings that you are feeling as well. And then if you need to do somatic work, if you need to get into the body to release, like I talked about EFT or emotional release therapy, like the uh body code, or you know, breath work, or what are the things for you to release some of this deeply stored feelings, emotions, sensations in your body? And then we get to choose powerfully like what new beliefs do I actually want to create and have that are gonna empower me, that are going to support me and my business and my money, and they're going to leave me feeling successful. You know, I like to think about taxes now, not then, right? Because I didn't think about it then, but now I like to think about taxes that they're evidence that money has flowed in and out of my business. And the more that I pay, the more that I make. And yes, the goal is to minimize what we pay, right? Like that is the goal. And also not at the expense of minimizing your income. Like sometimes I have worked with some clients where you almost cut off, you want to minimize your revenue towards the end because you don't want to pay taxes. And I just don't think that that's a very effective tax strategy. My um advice is always just make all the money and then we'll figure out how to minimize taxes or pay less, you know, in taxes. So think about how when you pay taxes, because it is a byproduct of income, right? That that is a reflection of the value that you created in the world. And I believe it is our responsibility to understand them, to understand your numbers, to understand how taxes work, because that is part of stewarding your money. That is part of being a powerful CEO, of embodying a well being a wealthy woman. You know, tax planning and tax strategy is what you want to embody, like who you are. You tax plan and you strategize with your CPA because that is what wealthy women do, and you are a wealthy woman. So, step two would be to ground yourself, you know, into organization. And what I mean by that is like really embody like what is going to be your process. Everybody has their own process, and even no process is a process. And if that is you, then what you want to do is okay, what do I want my actual process to be? You know, this is the 3D part that also supports ourselves, right? Supports our money, our business, our nervous system. You know, when we don't have a process, when we are just kind of willy-nillying it, that is also creating undue stress on our nervous system that we don't actually need to have. So start with very simple things. I think I mentioned this in episode 60. So go back and listen to that one if you have not. But first and foremost, your business and your personal accounts should be separated, like done. End of discussion. If you haven't already, then do it now. Like you've still got eight more weeks. So spend some time either by yourself, if you're working with your bookkeeper, and make sure your personal and your business expenses are separate. It's gonna save an endless amount of time sorting and going through it later. Like you're gonna have to do it. So just do it now and take care of it. Um, and then also if you have made any type of like capital contributions or you've like, you know, fused money, then work with your bookkeeper or at least put a note to ask your CPA so that those journal entries can be made, um, so that you can your books can be true up. Also, like I mentioned before, is like create a tax folder. Like if you have made big purchases, whether in equipment or property, things of that sort, like that are going to have loan documents, like just have all of that prepped and ready. So you're not having to search for that when your CPA has given you your checklist. Um, take the time, if you haven't, to review your books now with your bookkeeper. Like I always advocate for paying for extra time with them to sit and to explain some of this stuff to you. Like you're gonna either have to learn it now or you're gonna have to learn it as you scale and it's bigger, right? It's going to be more time, more effort the more you grow. So just take care of this and do this stuff now. Your future self will thank you. So, and also, you know, you're gonna be reviewing 10 months worth of money transactions versus 12. So put it in your calendar, do yourself a favor and just schedule this time to understand and learn, you know, beside with your bookkeeper. This is also something that I help clients with. And I love doing this type of work, this 30,000-foot view of like kind of directing and really helping you see like what do you need to focus on? What are the questions you need to go ask your bookkeeper? What are the questions that you need to ask your CPA and being prepped and ready? So if that is something that is of interest to you and you want to see if we are a good fit and see how I can support you, you can just schedule a call by clicking the link in the show notes to get on my calendar and we can discuss some ways that I can support you and what I see that I could help you with. Okay, most of my clients are pretty much like pay upon receipt, like it's due now, you know. But in construction, other industries, sometimes it's net 30. Sometimes it's more than that, depending. And so I would suggest if you are one where you don't collect payment at the time of service, then pull your accounts receivable report or have your bookkeeper do this for you, who however it works, and get that money in the door, whether that's you calling or you have your bookkeeper, however, the arrangement is situated. But like that's easy money. That's money you have already earned, and that should be sitting in your bank account. So call and get the money in the door. Like I would always do this. This was part of what I did on a monthly basis at my family's construction business. Like I would just pull an AR report and I would just see like who's past net 30. And that money needs to be in the door. And it's simple and it's easy. And if you are having some feelings about asking for money, and there is those feelings are preventing you from actually doing this, then I would also dig deeper and explore why do I not want to do this? What am I feeling that is causing me or creating me to not ask for the money that I have already performed the services on? This goes the same for accounts payable AP as well. So you technically, like best practice, I would say be reviewing this every single month, you know. Um definitely every month, if you want to look at it, depending on how you cut checks or pay people, um, you know, weekly or bi-weekly, but however frequently you do it, just make sure that your APs are current, make sure they're actually correct too. Like the way I think about it is I don't want my CPA asking me questions that I don't know. And and and I know that a lot of us don't know some of these things because we haven't been taught, but I at least want to have viewed it. I at least want to look at my reports and know. And if I don't know, then it's at least a flag that I can initiate with my CPA versus the CPA bringing it to me. Um, also a big one here is if you do have employees um since sick time and vacation time and like PTO, it's not typically recorded um on the books as a liability, like on QuickBooks, it's not recorded um on your balance sheet because there isn't really a place for it. So work with your CPA to calculate like what is your allocation? You know, do you have a set amount that you want to stay at number wise of like what your allocation or what your exposure is? You know, I would always keep a running tab. We had, I think when I left, probably 22, 25 employees. So I would always pull like a quarterly report and I would see like how many vacation hours do they have, how much sick time do they have, how much PTO time do they have? Um, and so I would look at that and I would see like, okay, they either need to take the time off or we just need to pay them out because that is money that your company is is required to pay, but there's nowhere, there's nowhere to track it from a financial report in QuickBooks. So just recognizing what do you um, I don't like using this word, but let's just use it like on the hook for. Um, and so then knowing where you are so that you have allocated for that. I want to say here that if this feels overwhelming, if you're like eyes rolling back in your head and you're just like, oh my gosh, Aaron, this feels so much, then set a timer for 15 minutes. Like consistency is so much more, I think, more potent and valuable than trying to just hammer yourself for hours on end. So just do a little bit at a time. And like I've talked about in previous episodes, this creates that dopamine hit of, hey, I'm actually doing what I say I'm gonna do and feeling proud of yourself for looking at your numbers more frequently than maybe what you currently have. So don't torture yourself by waiting for the next eight weeks for the end of the year and then like setting aside a day or two of having to do all this stuff. Just do a little bit at a time. I know, you know, in the beginning, it may not feel fun, it may not feel empowering. And what you have to think about is how you are going to feel. Like this is part of what Neville Goddard says, thinking from the end. The woman that is thinking from the end of already having her books done, already having her taxes done, feels empowered. She feels knowledgeable, she feels calm and peaceful. And maybe she might feel relieved or relaxed. So, really recognizing how do I want to be thinking and feeling, and I can feel that right now as I'm moving through this. So these are the these are the kind of 3D things that yes, you've done the behind the scenes stuff. This is what I would do after I've done all of the behind the scenes. This is what I would do or encourage clients to do is schedule a 30 to 60 minute call with your accountant or tax prep. Maybe you have an enrolled agent before year end. Like the time to talk to your accountant obviously is all throughout the year, like quarterly. That would be my ideal for you. And if you haven't, not a problem, but like get in the habit. But the time to not talk to your CPA is like during tax season. Like, how many times do they say, and depending on if you have a tax, if you have an accountant who does more planning or just does like churn and burn tax returns? The the ones that do the churn and burn tax returns, they're so busy. And that's not an excuse. It's just like, I don't want to get the last part of your energy as you know, you're going through all of these tax returns. I want to get you, you know, eight weeks before the end of the year and be able to ask questions for you to have full capacity to think about my questions versus like, I'm so stressed, you know, from the CPA perspective and I'm just trying to get all these tax returns out. Like that's not, that's not the kind of relationship that I want to have. So schedule a call, 30 to 60 minutes, whatever it might be, and send them your books first. Like, first, I would ask them like, what do they want so that you can have a meeting with them? But I like to schedule and send the books first. That way they can look at them. They can already ask their questions or get their questions prepped, and then they can come to you. So it's a very effective use of your time and their time. You know, things to bring up or things that your CPA should be bringing up is do you want to can we pay any prepaid expenses? You know, if you are contributing to a retirement account, depending on how your account is set up, and this goes into nitty-gritty stuff, but like, does it make sense to um fund that? Like, is it a profit sharing? And you can fund more of that. Um, so this just goes back to like, what are your values? What do you align with? How do you want your money to move through your company? Just because your CPA suggests something doesn't mean you need to do it. You need to run it through your filter, through your intuition and decide like, is this what I want to do? Um, if you have already thought about purchasing equipment, then run that by them because you can take the tax deduction deduction now instead of, you know, if you're already going to purchase it, you can you can take that tax deduction um in the year 2025 instead of 2026. Also, I recommend like setting aside money on a consistent basis for taxes. And maybe that's something that you work with your CPA on of like, okay, this is what I think my income is gonna be next year, because you want to be forecasting, you know, how much money do I need to be setting aside to make sure I'm paying either in estimated taxes or depending on you know how that works for your company. And like everything else, what I want you to get to is you are building the foundations, you are building the skill set that when you grow and scale, think about it, these neural pathways, these systems that you have in place, they're already built. The habit is already there, and so you just grow and it feels easier and less stressful because you already have the thought process, the belief system, the feelings that you want to feel already as you grow and expand. And so that's already there, and so it feels a lot less stressful. And then obviously, mindset-wise, like this is important for you to be kind to yourself, remind yourself that knowledge and clarity also contributes to helping you feel more peaceful, you know. Ultimately, you want to feel empowered. And that is something that I want each of you and all of my clients to feel on the regular. You know, tax prep, it's not about getting it perfect, it isn't about feeling silly or avoiding it. It's about a partnership. Like, think about how can I be my biggest supporter? And the answer, probably one of those answers would be I would look at my taxes, I would meet with my CPA, I would look at my numbers with my bookkeeper. You know, it is a partnership with yourself, with your business, with your money, with your advisors. Like you have this team here to help you on purpose, use them and help them or help you allow you to grow and to be supported. You know, you are building a relationship with your money that is moving from a fear, avoidance, you know, maybe shame and guilt to a place that's organized, that's calm, that's more confident, that's more knowledgeable and empowered. And so you can bring your mindfulness, your awareness to every single report that you review. Like it doesn't have to be a going through the motions. You can sit there and you can, you know, be aware of like what conversations am I having right now? What story am I telling myself? What am I thinking and feeling in my body? And having the intention behind every investment and an expense, you know, choosing gratitude for every dollar that you have received or bill, or like I like to call it, you know, receipts of appreciation. Like in order to pay a bill, you have money to pay that, like feeling gratitude for that. So not just going through the motions, going through the checklist, like hurry up, but like making this just like how it is to sit down with your money, making this a ritual, making this another opportunity for you to check in with your body and your mind and your feelings and to see what are you thinking, feeling from this place, and how do you want to feel if it isn't in alignment with how you actually want to feel. So when you prepare from that place, when you prepare from a calm, when you prepare from an empowered and knowledgeable place, you know, you really get to shift from that fear into more power and resolve and calmness and peacefulness. You know, you start to begin and you really embody the woman who leads her business, her money, her finances with not just clarity, but like from heart and alignment. And that's what we're going for, right? It's not just go through the motions, get through the day, okay. Next thing. It's like being intentional with every single thing you do, being more present, feeling more calm and peaceful in every single moment of your day. And we can do this with taxes too. So this week, I encourage you, I invite you to put it on your calendar and block off some time to start your year-end money review. You owe it to yourself, you know, your money, your business. You are worthy and deserving of doing this work. You know, make it fun, make it light. I think I was on the phone with an attorney the other day and I was like, gosh, he's he's not that fun. But we can make it fun, right? Like the CPA, we can make it fun with the CPA. And if you're if your CPA is dull and boring, then maybe it's time to get a new CPA. So have some fun, make it light. However, you want to do it, it's for you. This is for you. And if you if you see or you hear your brain arguing with me and say, no, Aaron, taxes are not fun. Okay, then start there. Where do I want to go to neutral? Maybe I can't get to where Aaron thinks taxes are fun, but where do I want to go to the neutral part and be like, okay, taxes are just taxes? It's something that I do as a business person. It's something that every other business person does. So think about how you can get to neutral? How can you get your brain on board? Okay, that's all I have for you. I love you. I am rooting for you. You deserve to know where you are, where you stand financially, and you definitely deserve to feel peace and calm and confident and empowered and knowledgeable when you're doing your taxes or when you're working with your CPA. I'll see you in the next episode.