Your Money, Your Rules | Money Mindset, Money Management, Abundance Mindset, Budgeting, Spirituality

167 | What Financial Experts Don’t Discuss with You: Are You Protecting Your #1 Asset?

• Erin Gray | Wealth Coach, Former CFP and CFO

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In this episode, I want you to rethink what it means to protect your most important asset: you. Your energy, attention, and capacity aren’t just personal, they directly impact your business, your wealth, and your long-term success.

In this episode we discuss:

  • Why energy is your real currency and how to protect it
  • The effects of over giving, people-pleasing, and busywork
  • Reframing time, money, and energy to benefit and support you
  • How rest, recovery, and boundaries are actually productive 
  • Practical tools to identify micro energy leaks and increase your capacity



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From my soul to yours,

Erin

Erin Gray:

I want to follow up for the previous podcast that I released on Monday. Today I want to talk about something that most people completely overlook when they think about assets. You know, so many of us are taught to focus on money or investments or real estate property. You know, things that you can see, that you can touch, that you can track. What I always talk about, like the stuff that's in that 3D observed world. And I believe that the most important asset that we have, each of us have, is ourselves, our energy, our attention, our well-being, because everything else is going to cascade from there. I was in a podcast group, I mean it was about a year ago, a year and a half ago. And the mentor that was talking about the new currency that is actually in the world is our attention. And I believe this is so true because think about how highly coveted our attention is this day and time. So a lot of us, you know, don't think about ourselves, our attention, our like protecting us. We are the number one asset, you know. So because we don't value ourselves, because we don't think about ourselves in this way, a lot of times we overcommit, we overwork, we overextend ourselves. We think about everyone and everything else is more important than what we are. And today I want to talk about and show you why protecting your number one asset, which I believe is you, each of us, right? You are the number one asset. I am my number one asset. You know, your business bestie is her number one asset. You know, really start to think about that. And that is actually the foundation for everything else in our life, our business, our relationships, our money, our just our entire life. So think about it that way. And today we're going to dive into this topic. So, like I mentioned, I talked about this briefly in the previous episode that about life giving and life draining energy or tasks. I don't like the word tasks, but just what are the life force? Time is unlimited. We push off things, we waste our time. And I know I have talked about like nothing is ever wasted. But when you really start to think about how am I using my energy and am I thinking that time is completely unlimited, but money is, you know, finite versus that my time here on earth is has a set amount and money is unlimited. And because that we think the first way, where our money is, you know, finite and our time is unlimited, we aren't as protective of our time and of our energy. So what that might look like is we might over-deliver, you know, when it comes to work. And a lot of this is going to come back to what do we actually believe about ourselves and what do we do we value ourselves? Do we believe that we're worthy? So we might over-deliver with clients, and that might come from improving energy. We might scroll on social media. Like I was having this conversation, it's been probably a couple months with a client. And the way that she was trying to wind down was scrolling social media. And I said, let's just figure out a different way to wind down that is more productive and more helpful to your nervous system, as well as creating that dopamine hit besides social media. Maybe we say yes to every request. We don't know how to say no yet, you know, because we have so many thoughts and beliefs about like ourselves of when we say no. So we treat other assets like money or property as more important than ourselves. And this is where we haven't truly yet embodied this at a very and understood it at a very cellular level. Like there is this understanding, which I think is very logical. It's you get it with your mind, but to know it, to live it is when you actually like take it into the body, right? Like you actually live it and embody it. And so if you are depleted, no other asset that you have matters. You know, I can't tell you how many times that I have talked to people that have, you know, worked their life to build their business, to sell it. And because they have worked and burned themselves out, their health isn't, they haven't, you know, maintained relationships, they don't have hobbies. There's just so many things that we have, you know, if we aren't aware, we will put value on other things besides ourselves. So you can have all the money in the world. But if your energy is drained, if you don't have your health, if you haven't, you know, cultivated your creativity, if you haven't practiced and cultivated your the way that you make decisions, think about your relationships, even you know, your ability to earn more can I want to say compromise, but just think about like your energy is the capital that allows everything else to grow. Like it is the foundation, who you are, what you believe about yourself, that is the most important thing. Everything about you is the most important asset. And I want to offer that if you want support to think differently about this, to have someone give you a more of a 30,000-foot view, like what I do brilliantly with clients is I ask you very potent, thought-provoking questions. Because part of my job of working with you is to get you to think differently. Because when you think differently, you live differently, you make different decisions, and that creates a different trajectory in your life. So when you're able to think differently, make decisions more clearly, more simply, without all of the mind drama, more confidently, you know, like you're trusting your intuition, that saves you so much time. So if this is something that you've been around here for a while and you're like, you know what? I really am feeling a call in my heart to visit with Aaron, you can click the link in the show notes and schedule a call with me. I also want to remind you that the workshop that I will be hosting in December is going to be all about communicating with your spouse. Better, I should say, more improved when it comes to money. And if you want to come and join us for the workshop, then click that link in the show notes as well. And you can register and you can have come have some fun, ask some questions, learn some stuff, and join us. Okay, so what does this actually look like? I always like to go from the 5D, like you have to think differently. And then also, like, what does this look like? Practicality, you know, everybody wants to know about the how. And I want to say when it comes to the how, it's gonna be different for every person. How you feel in your body is different, how I feel in my body. What your intuition says might be different than mine, but I want to kind of just give you an overview, and then you're gonna need to go, like I say, with everything else. You're gonna need to go and you're gonna need to play with this. But I will say that no matter who you are, neglecting yourself, it doesn't always look like really big. I think that it's almost kind of like this chipping away over time, right? It doesn't, it's not like these big things that we're doing, it's in these micro moments, right? It can be so subtle. You know, you can say that you're busy all the time. Like I think there's a lot of people in today's world where we say we're busy. I try not to use that language anymore because I think there's a lot of association with busy of like I'm important, like I've done a lot, versus like I like to say my plate is full and that everything that's on my plate, like in the best way, right? Like with everything that's on my plate, everything that's on my calendar is because I want it to be there. But if you're saying that you're busy all the time, but then at the end of the day, you don't even know what you've accomplished. You don't, you feel like so just like worn out, ready to sit on the couch, you know, think about how you're feeling. I think this really goes back to this deeper feelings of like proving or worthiness. And a lot of us have grown up, you know, get gaining our or believing that our value is coming from proving. Like we've had to show or prove ourselves of like if you're busy, if you're being productive, like that's another word, you know, then then you're worthy versus just like knowing you're whole, you're worthy just as you are, and where do you want to spend your time? So maybe those words weren't said exactly to you growing up, but for sure I know in the business in the corporate world, this is language, right? This is the language that we use. And so, where did we pick up these messages? Are we using this language? And what kind of language do we want to start using and thinking about so that we can really start honoring and protecting our energy? Maybe going back to productiveness, you know, maybe you are pushing through when you're tired, when you're exhausted, because rest doesn't rest and productiveness aren't in your mind the same, like they're not parallel, they're not actually friends. You know, we think productive is the doing, the masculine. Productive is also resting and thinking and napping and giving ourselves that our bodies this um rest so that we can regenerate and we can come back and we can be even stronger. You know, my brother, I don't know if he still says this. He might, my mom's told me this the other day. I think that he said he used to say that naps are nasty. And I'm like, no, they're not. You know, they there's a time for us to rest, to recharge. You know, we when you really start to think about, I am my most valuable asset, then you're going to move differently in the world. I want you to think about like yourself as like the most finest thoroughbred horse. And I know that might sound silly, but when we look at things sometimes outside of ourselves, we can receive that message a little bit easier or maybe more clear, you know? So think about, I don't know, I don't know too much about the Kentucky Derby, but like I'm pretty sure they're probably a million plus dollar race horses, right? So think about what is that regimen? Like what is that, what what is that day in, day out for that horse? What kind of food do you think it gets fed? What kind of exercise do you think that it goes through? What kind of rest do you think, right? So, what are all the trainers that that that horse has for that one specific horse? You know, how are they taking care of that horse every single day so that it can show up to the race and ultimately win? Right. Like that's the goal. So I want you to think about yourself. Like, how are you fueling yourself from a from a rest perspective, from a food perspective, from a liquid perspective, from doing doing things in your business that you love or you don't love? Are you continuing to do those things? Like, how are you the most supportive and loving to yourself? Also think about like where do you compromise your own priorities for other people's wants or desires and expectations? And you might be doing this subconsciously. You may not even be questioning, like, I do this sometimes. Like, I'm not saying here I'm perfect, but there are times where I'm like in the middle of something. I'm like, wait a second, you didn't even ask yourself if you wanted to do this. And so, really going back and being like, okay, hang on a second, before you do anything, like almost become very hyper aware of what are you doing? What are you saying yes to? You know, a lot of times this is very habitual, and habits come from our self-concept. So and like I said, you know, I'm an open book. I was noticing myself this past week doing this. I was had said yes to something before I even stopped and asked myself. And then as I was in it, and here's the thing that you will know you will know how you, you know, if it's a yes or no for you or by how you feel. And if I can encourage you to tune into anything, it is to tune into your body even more. So these are just these can be, right? They can be small energy leaks, but they can end up being really big ones because they compound over time. So I always like to look at like the 1% with clients, you know, those micro shifts. So think about your micro shifts of where are you slowly eroding your potency over time? Think about how that might erode your focus, your confidence, your nervous system stability. And if you're not protecting your energy now, who is gonna do it for you if you don't? That's the first question. And second of all, at what point are you going to realize that you aren't? Is it gonna be, is it gonna come to the place where you have to feel exhausted or burned out? You know, are you gonna be so frustrated? Like that's where I got probably six years ago. I just was angry at the world. And so that was my cue to be like, hang on a second, something's gotta change because I didn't like who I was. So you have to also go back to like those are practical things that you might pay attention to, but what you really need to look at is your mindset. I always start with that 5D, right? So the first step for you would be recognizing you as the most important asset. Like if I ask you that right now, do you view yourself as your most important asset? The answer is no. Then we got to go back and we got to be like, okay, what are the beliefs that I have about myself? This begins with evaluating your self-concept. Like your self-concept is what drives everything. So, what do you currently believe about yourself? Who you are, your ability and your capability. Do you view yourself as someone who is highly successful in business, whose time is precious and her body is like the most, I come back to asset, right? Like valuable thing. Like we only have one body. We only have one vessel on this earth, our body, right? So if we don't take care of our body, if we don't take care of our mind, if we aren't connected spiritually, then everything else is going to cascade and and it's gonna show up differently for us. So are you speaking kindly to yourself? Do you value yourself? Do you value your brain? Like I've really been talking to my daughter lately about like her brain is like so valuable, so valuable. All of our brains are, right? Like, so really, do you really think about your brain that way? Are you what you are reading, what you are watching, podcasts that you are listening to? Are you consuming information that is helpful to your brain? What are you doing to your body? Are you treating it and giving it so much love and support from a food and uh water and all the things? What about your emotions? Are you processing your emotions? Or are you just like, oh, I don't have time for that? You know, on to the next thing. Like your emotions are your key. They are telling you constantly, telling you they're like your GPS. So are you paying attention to your emotions? And when we change our self-concept, the behavior naturally follows, but so many of us try to change the behavior first and then think that the self-concept matches catches up, but that's not how it works. I I was, I don't know what I was, I think it was sure it was probably YouTube, because that's about all I watch. And they were talking about like Jessica Simpson and releasing weight or something. And she said it was like from willpower. And I was like, oh, isn't that fascinating? Like that is that is definitely moving from the 3D versus changing your self-concept of someone just wanting to be healthy and releasing weight versus I just had, you know, willpower to me is like I muster through this, right? Versus changing your beliefs about yourself and then letting the behavior, you know, follow. So think about when you value yourself, when you know that you are inherently worthy and deserving of having an amazing life, you're gonna make different choices. You're gonna choose based on what fuels you instead of the people pleasing and the habits that you're used to doing because that is what you're used to doing. Like it feels uncomfortable to start to say no. So start first with your self-concept. Journal that out. Do you describe yourself? If I were to ask you, do you talk about yourself in an uplifting way or an empowering way? Do you believe that you're confident, that you're successful, that you're wealthy, that you're regulated, that your nervous system is regulated? Do you feel calm, powerful, empowered? Like journal on your self-concept and then journal on what you want to believe about yourself and start believing that now. And the thing that I will say about this is first and foremost, it's always awareness. You've got to get out on paper, you've got to see what you actually think about yourself. I think so many times in the spiritual world, we try to gaslight ourselves or we try to bypass, maybe that's a better way to say it. We try to bypass what we think about ourselves. No, it needs to come up and out. We need to see what we actually think about ourselves. And then we get to decide how do we want to think about ourselves? And then when we decide, okay, I want to change my beliefs and I want to change my self-concept, then you're gonna have to take action from that place. So if you say, okay, I want to be feeling more confident, well, then when the time comes to feel more confident, that might be making a decision and not doubting yourself. It might say saying something to someone that you may not have said before. You're going to be presented with opportunities for you to show that you're more confident. And it's in the actual action that you fuse the belief because you have the belief and you also have to move from that belief. So once you look at your self-concept, and this is something that I help clients with. So if this is something that is of interest to you, reach out. I can, you know, we can have a conversation and see if we're a good fit for each other. Then what you want to do is ask some specific questions on actually the 3D part, like what are you actually doing? Ask, like, does the thing that I'm about to do, does it energize me or does it deplete me? I would I always like to say, like, do a calendar audit, you know, tracking your your when I say calendar, I mean what you have on your calendar and how you feel, like your energy across the week, right? So notice when you're doing specific tasks, first of all, are you doing them out of obligation? And how do you feel when you do them? So protecting those I call them like the blocks of time that are life-giving. Like I talked about that in the previous episode, like the life-giving, those are the big rocks, those are the things that you need to be putting on your calendar first, you know, learning to say no, feeling that discomfort, because if you are someone who has people pleased all their life, which this was me, then it is gonna feel uncomfortable. The shame and the doubt or the guilt is gonna come up and it's coming up to be transcended. So when you act from the from the perspective or the belief that you are the most important asset, then all these other decisions, like how you spend money, how you structure your business, how you show up in your relationships, how you are with your friends, how you are with your children, they're going to naturally fall into place because you're moving first from a person who values themselves. You know, there are conversations that I don't necessarily have anymore with people because I value my energy and I know I'm the number one asset. And so is it worth my time to have a conversation with somebody who's not ready to receive a message? No. You know, I'm not here to convince or prove to anybody anymore. Like when they're ready, they're ready. But I'm not here to, you know, to show you all that I know and to prove that, you know, I can help you. And like some people just are not ready to receive a message. So really recognizing where is my energy most efficient and most useful and a good, yeah, good use of my time, right? So you have to really start to think about where are you, I would look at it as more of an overgiving, right? Where are you over giving your time? I have this a lot with clients. Where are you over giving advice? Where are you over giving advice to people that they aren't paying you for? Because that's really important too. And yes, I believe in, you know, giving and helping people, and not everybody, you know, like I'm not saying that everything needs to be paid for, but if you have friends that are coming to you with the same thing over and over again, like I've had family members this way, there's just no point in having this conversation for the 257th time. And so my energy is better served somewhere else. And so you just have to be mindful of where are you overgiving. And that can look like money, that can look like time, that can look like I mean, so many different areas, right? So just really get clear where are you doing this? And the example that I would have you or leave you with is thinking about your, like I said before and earlier, is like think about your energy as your capital. Your nervous system is the bank. So every time you ignore your needs, you overcommit, you overgive, you're basically withdrawing right this energy without depositing it back. Over time, you're gonna be depleting, right? Now, I know I talk a lot about money as circulating and money's energy, and we're all energy, but you know, when you think about if you're just continuing to take, right, deplete, that energy is going somewhere else. So really start to honor your energy. When you value yourself, you're building up this allocation that allows you to operate from you know, more calmness, more clarity, confidence, and ease. Like it's really about spending time on yourself so that you learn how to first like I always talk about like you can't pour from an empty cup when you believe that you're whole, when you are when I say fed, I mean like spiritually and emotionally and energetically and all of it. Then you get to show up for other people. So today, this week, this weekend, ponder. Am I protecting the most important asset? Pick one, you know, really dive into your self-concept, pick one action that you're gonna do that's gonna honor your energy and let it be about something that you probably would be like a 180. What are you, what are you used to saying yes to that you want to say no to, or vice versa? So, where in your life, what is one area of your life, whether it's business or with your kids or your spouse or friends or you know, your community, where is one area that you are used to over giving that you're ready to pull back on some? And if you want support to think differently about valuing yourself more so that you can protect your energy while building wealth and impact, you can reach out to me to schedule a discovery call. You can just click the link in the show notes for us to connect. As always, I love you. I love each of you. I'm rooting for you. You are the number one asset. The world needs more of us that believe that to our core, that have fully embodied that, that show up for ourselves first so that we can show up for others, so that we can be an example of what is possible to other women in the world, to our children. Like this is generational stuff that we are transcending and changing. So that is all I have for you today. I will see you in the next episode.