174 | Why I No Longer Use These 3 Phrases About Money and Time

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In this episode, we unpack why words are not neutral, how common money language reinforces scarcity or pressure, and what happens when you intentionally choose language that creates sovereignty and sufficiency.

In this episode, we cover:

• Why words function as beliefs, not facts
• The 3 phrases to stop using
• Simple reframes to use instead
• Designing a calendar that reflects your real priorities
• Identity led planning from the end state, not pressure

Resources mentioned in this episode:

Ep 168 The Law of Supply for Prosperity:  How Demand Opens the Flow of Money

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From my soul to yours,

Erin

Chapters

• 0:00 Words Shape Reality
• 1:00 3 Phrases To Stop Saying
• 1:15 Personal Update And Workshop
• 2:40 Language As Belief, Not Fact
• 4:05 “I Can’t Afford This” Reframed
• 6:30 Imagining From The End
• 7:17 “This Is Too Expensive” Examined
• 10:30 Cost Versus Value
• 12:15 Investing In Support
• 13:18 “I Don’t Have Enough Time” Unpacked
• 15:05 Create Time With Clear Choices
• 17:00 Identity, Priorities, And Language
• 18:40 Practice Empowering Replacements

Transcript

Erin Gray: 0:00

Today I am going to be sharing three phrases that I no longer allow myself to say, and I lovingly coach and mentor clients to do the same. These are phrases that I grew up just rattling off, you know, from my lips, not even questioning it. And I think and I feel like in the body, they are very disempowering. You know, we have to remember, I think so many of us actually don't believe, don't know how powerful we are, how potent we are. And our language, our words, they carry a frequency. And if we were to truly believe that, I think we would use a different choice of words to describe ourselves, to describe where we are in our life, where our business is going, like all the things. Let's make the commitment to ourselves that moving forward, we are only going to utter words and speak words that represent love and that are supportive to us, that are empowering, and are ones of sufficiency and abundance. So these phrases are I can't afford this, this is expensive, or it's too expensive, and I don't have enough time. And today I am going to be sharing why I stopped saying them, why I coach clients not to say them, and then what to say instead. So let's dive in. Oh, I'm so glad to be back. I've been missing you. I, you know, was off the last couple of weeks. I had so much fun with my family. I was anticipating to go skiing, but there has been no snow here on the mountains. Or if I should say, if there is snow, it's very little snow and it doesn't, it's not really the kind of snow that I want to be skiing on. So maybe January is going to be different. I wanted to also, I also wanted to say that this month's workshop, I am going to be hosting it. It's all going to be about the intuitive download that I got was all about feminine leadership and play. And I don't mean feminine leadership as in feminist leadership. I am not on that bus at all, but more softness, feminine energy and play and joy and fun and why we need to be playing. That has been a topic that had come up before we went on break with several of my clients. And I think that that kind of is like this undertone that is actually happening in the collective. So we're going to be talking and discussing why we all need to be playing, the eight different types of play, um, how it calms the nervous system, and then how it actually increases our capacity to receive. And I think all of us can increase our capacity to receive, or we can work on our receiving muscle. So the workshop is gonna be like it was last time. It's gonna be held live on Zoom on Thursday, January 15th at 10 a.m. Mountain Standard Time. And I will include the link in the show notes for you to register. Love to see you there. First and foremost, let's talk about all of these phrases that I mentioned above. They all are thoughts and beliefs. They aren't actual facts. You know, they might actually feel they in your body, they might feel true to you, but they aren't. If you were to actually look at the facts, that might not be correct. And at the end of the day, the question I always ask myself are the words, are the beliefs that I am believing and thinking and saying and acting from, is this actually supportive to me? Is this helpful? Is this empowering or is this disempowering? And so if it's not, then I immediately am aware of that. And then I start to think about what is a belief or what are some words that I can use that would be empowering and supportive. You know, I have had clients myself, this has been my own journey, you know, that have millions of dollars in their investment account, bank accounts, whatever it might be, businesses are at, you know, millions of dollars. And they will tell me that they can't afford something. And they say this as if they aren't even thinking about it. It is just something that rattles off their tongue. And that was the story that I had probably up until about six years ago. Like I would always say, like, we can't afford it, even though we could. It was a very disempowering phrase and belief to have. So when you say, I can't afford this, you are literally cutting off your supply. Go back and listen to my podcast. I think it's episode 168. It's called The Law of Supply for Prosperity. To really understand in detail what I'm referring to about supply, the law of supply that is a universal law. But I can't afford that comes from a very limited mindset. It is not a growth in an expansive, abundant mindset. So I'm not, you know, one of these. Obviously, I have definitely gone on my spiritual journey and I am very spiritual and I am very emotional. And when I say I'm not delusional, sometimes I feel like some of the spiritual world is a little delusional. And yes, I am delusional in the sense of like, I'm delusional of like, I believe all the things, but delusional in the sense of like sometimes I feel like the spiritual, some of the, some of the spiritual crowd, you know, is like, oh, I can just sit on my couch and I can, you know, just manifest. Uh I'm not in that boat. But I will say that I do not use language that does not help me get where I want to go. So if we're being actual, factual, like let's just use this as an example. Right now, I do not have the funds in my account to have two houses. But that is one of my goals, and that is one of my heart's desires that I want to have. Like I want to have a house on the ocean. Maybe it's going to be Maui again. Maybe it's not. I don't know, but I know that's something that I really desire. But I would never say I cannot afford those two houses. What I would say is I'm so excited for the day that I get to have a vacation home and our home in Boise. Or I might say something like, it's going to be so fun when we have two houses. I'm so glad that I am the woman that I have become who I need to become in order to have two houses. Like I imagine having two houses in my mind. I already think about and I've already kind of like drafted what is the amount of money that I'm going to be circulating between, you know, having this a Boise house and also a Maui house or wherever it might be by the ocean. You know, like I'm I'm creating the demand in my mind already of like, okay, what is that amount of money that it is going to be? And that energy in my body feels very expansive. It feels very allowing. It feels like in possibility and in having money, right? Being appreciative of having the money that I do have and I'm going to be creating more money. It comes from a place in my body. It also comes from a place of like knowing, like, oh man, it's going to be so fun. And certainty. And certainty in I'm going to have this, not in the certainty of not having. And I think a lot of us move from the energy of or the assumption of not having versus of having. So I'm always looking at where am I going, not where I currently am. You know, I tell clients all the time when we like look at their financials, what what your PL is showing me is in the past already, right? Who you are, what you are creating is we haven't seen that PL yet. So always be thinking from your imagination, from the end, where you're going, right? What you want to create, and not using language like I can't afford this. The next phrase would be, this is expensive or this is too expensive, too expensive. And this is all, you know, like the law of relativity is just basically, you know, like something is big or small compared to something else, right? Like we have to compare it to something else in order to say it's big or it's small. If I were to show you, I'm like looking at my desk, if I were to show you, like my daughter takes Polaroid pictures, right? And so this Polaroid on my desk of her is maybe three inches by two inches, maybe it's four inches by two inches. That picture is smaller to a four by six, but the only reason why it's smaller is if I compare it to a four by six. If I compare it to an even tinier photograph than the one that's currently on my desk, then that's a bigger picture, right? So you have to look at like what are you comparing your price to? Expensive to you might not be expensive to somebody else. You know, whenever I'm talking to friends or clients and they say this, I immediately will ask them, what price are you talking about? Like, stop talking to generalities, stop just saying your belief. What is the actual price? Because I want to know that exact amount or the actual amount because I want to know what they think is expensive. Because when we're talking about actual amounts, that could be more than what I'm willing to pay, or it could not be. But you won't know if you speak in thoughts and generalities over actual facts and price. So when you say something is expensive, what you're really saying is, and this is it could be many of these things, right? It could be I don't want to let go of the money that I have for the price that they're asking for, right? Or you're thinking the price that they're asking is too high for what I'm willing to pay for this. It all comes back to also value, right? Do I value the price that they are asking for what the good or the thing I'm going to receive in exchange? You know, and it can be, like I said, any thread along those lines. But really, when you say it's too expensive, and it could also be when you say it's too expensive, you could be just like, that's outside what you're used to spending, right? If you're used to staying in a$400 night hotel and you start staying in a thousand dollar night hotel, you might say it's expensive, but maybe your normal stay is$400 compared to a thousand. I also want you to pay attention to when you're thinking about cost, you're not thinking about value. So if you're saying something is too expensive, what you might be saying is, I don't value that thing more than I value the money in my account. And that is a good question to ask yourself. You know, are you just going off of the cuff and you're just so used to saying that's so expensive? Have you actually stopped to ask yourself, do I value this? Do I value having this thing over the money in my bank account? Or is it, do I, you know, is this used to, is this dollar amount outside what I'm used to spending and circulating? And this is just a little bit of a bump up for me. So you really have to get more clear and start asking yourself, like, what is this? Instead of saying it's too expensive, does this actually align with what I want to do or not do? And do I value paying the price that they're asking? I say this all the time with my daughter. Sometimes I don't actually value paying the price for clothes that they are asking because I know where it's made, right? If it's made in America or if it's made by like a family, like I recently, it's been several months, but I recently bought these pairs of shoes. And the shoes were made in El De Spain, which is in a region in Alicante, like along the Mediterranean. But it is made from this third-generation family, like the grandfather started the shoe business. And now the the grandson and the granddaughter own the business together on the same land that the grandfather started it, and that's where the factory is. That's like where everything is made and designed. Like there, to me, number one, the shoes are amazing. They feel so soft. And two, like there's history behind it. There's like, I love paying for those shoes because I know that that is going to that specific family, right? And so you have to, someone might look at that and be like, oh, well, those shoes are too expensive, or though those, you know. But when you really, for me, when I looked at it, is like I will gladly pay those$600 for those pairs of shoes because I know who's making those shoes. I know who's designing those shoes. I know where those shoes are made and how much pride is being put into those shoes. So this can also look like, and when, you know, sometimes this happens when clients, people in general, you know, like hiring for your business, you know, when you look at it from the lens of this is too expensive, you're thinking from, and all of these phrases, right, are going to be based more so on lack than they are sufficiency or abundance. And so when you're thinking this is too expensive, are you thinking from lack and not asking yourself, do I value what they're going to help me create in my business? Maybe they're going to free up your time. Maybe they're going to free help you free up mental space. Maybe they're going to, you know, by you not doing like there are things that totally drain my energy and that I outsource. So what are the things that you want support in your business doing? And you're saying it's too expensive. But like, think about what you could create with that amount of time and space and mental space and energetic space. What you could you create dollar amount wise in your business to pay for some support that you are withholding or not giving yourself? And that's the way that I always like to look at hiring or paying for someone is like, how is it going to add to it? Like, here you go back to demand and supply, right? You're creating more demand. So then the supply has to come, number one. And two, when you are having someone help you, it's like, how does that actually increase your income, not a taking away from? And then the final one is I don't have enough time. So when people tell me, oh, I don't have any like money, money stories or money issues, first of all, I believe everybody's got money stories, money things, right? That's that we all have been influenced, right, by money in some way, form, or fashion. But when you say you don't have enough time, it's very similar. It's still along the same because ultimately the umbrella is are you operating from lack or are you operating from the feeling of having and sufficiency? And if you're operating from lack, then it's going to show up in time, it's going to show up in energy, it's going to show up in money, it's going to show up in love, it's going to show up in relationships, it's going to show up everywhere. So I don't have enough time that ties in the same way, right? Because it boils down to the lack. It's about it. And it also, I think, is a sneaky way. It's an abdication of your sovereignty or around your time, right? We all have the same amount of time. Like time isn't real, and then time is real. So let's go to the 3D part, right? Where time technically is 24 hours a day. So we all have 24 hours in a day, but we're all choosing to use our time differently. Some of us actually pay more attention to our time and we use it. I don't want to say wisely, but let's just go with that word, more wisely. And some of us whittle away our time. And then we wonder like, where did the day go or where did the week or the month or the year go? And so it is a choice of how are you spending your time. So the thing that I want you to think about is how do I want, I would encourage you first and foremost, like I said, stop saying it. Number one, notice when you say it, stop saying it. Also, to maybe do a time audit. Like actually do a couple of days of where is your time? Where are you using your time? And you know, people will tell me sometimes, like when they send me emails or they'll call me and they'll be like, I know you're very busy. And I'm like, I'm not busy, actually. Like, I let that go. Like, that is not a badge of honor that I carry anymore. Like I used to say I was busy all the time and all this woe is me, right? I don't say that anymore. I do say that my plate is full and I live a very full life and my calendar is full, but not from the place of overwhelmed or pressure. But like everything goes on my calendar, it's everything that I want to be on my calendar. And if I don't want to be doing it, it's not on my calendar. And so the question that you can be asking yourself is how do I want to create more time for myself? How do I want to create time for this? Like if it's something that you really care about, I've been thinking about taking a hip hop class. And I'm like, okay, where do you want to put that on your calendar? Do you actually want to go at, you know, in the evening time to do that? Do you want to make time during the day to do that? Because you don't really like doing stuff after like six o'clock at night. Like, so I'm really been thinking about like, how do I want to create time for this if this is something that is valuable to me and this is something that I want to try? So when you think about how do I want to create time for this, what do I want to let go of and or add to, you know, so that I can add this to my calendar, really start to think about how do I want to add or create time in order to have what I want to have. So if you want to do something, and this has been the shift, the biggest shift ultimately that I have really embodied is it's not I can't have something, it's how do I, how do I receive it? How do I create time for it? How do I create the money for it? Like I used to look and see, okay, the 3D world says my accounts say this. So how do I fit myself into that expense, right? Those expenses or that that type of lifestyle versus no, this is what I want and this is what it's going to cost on a monthly basis to maintain. Now, how do I create the money to go have what I want? So if you do want to do something, you're always going to have time for it. Like we we prioritize things that we truly care about. And sometimes I think this is also going to be an excellent exercise for you, is for you to see what do you actually say you don't value, but you actually do because your time will show you, right? How we spend our money, how we spend our time, I should say circulate, not spend it because it's not gone, but how you circulate your money, how you allocate your time will show you where your priorities are. If you say that I really care for my health, but you don't ever go to the gym and you don't ever take time to plan your meals and eat good food and sit down at the table and not be at work and actually eat, you might intellectually say that you care about your health and you want to work out and you want to do these things. But what you're actually showing is that you haven't actually taken on the identity of that person that actually does that. Because the person that does truly believe that and does move from that place would be going to the gym on a consistent basis, would be, you know, eating and planning, meal planning or whatever that might look like, right? You're caring for your body in your meals. Okay, so find some phrases for you that feel really empowering, play with it. Notice when, like, what are the situations that come up when you say you can't afford it? Is it just something that like I'm really starting to hear, like how often my daughter's friends say things like that, like, oh, that's so expensive? Like when they're, you know, like about take them to Target or to the mall or whatever. And so just really start to pay attention. Where am I saying either I can't afford it? It's too expensive, and I don't have enough time. So that you one, notice where you are saying it, stop saying it. That is the first always awareness. And then what are some more empowering and supportive phrases that you actually want to begin saying so that you can embody being a person that is coming more from the having and the and the sufficiency over the lack. And and start, I would leave you with start noticing your language because it is powerful. But when you truly start to see how powerful and potent you are, you will start to be very mindful of the language that you use. Okay, my friends. I love you. I'll see you in the next episode.