Your Money, Your Rules | Money Mindset, Money Management, Abundance Mindset, Budgeting, Spirituality

179 | Stop Outsourcing Your Attention: Are Your Leadership Habits Costing Energy and Profit?

• Erin Gray | Wealth Coach, Former CFP and CFO

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Attention is power, and since you’re a leader, where you put yours determines your energy, influence, and profit. In this episode, we uncover the ways leaders silently outsource their attention to misaligned people, mindless habits, and cluttered environments and what to do about it.

In this episode, you'll learn how to:

  • Reclaim your attention as a form of currency
  • Align your team, vendors, and relationships for maximum impact
  • Delegate resisted tasks so you can focus on revenue-generating work
  • Upgrade your environment to reduce decision fatigue and raise standards
  • Make small, practical shifts that boost energy, momentum, and profit

If you’re ready to stop leaking your focus and start leading from clarity and power, this episode is packed with actionable strategies to design your work, team, and space for success.


Resources mentioned in this episode:

The Soul Sourced Entrepreneur by Christine Kane


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From my soul to yours,

Erin

Erin Gray:

Welcome back to your money, your rules podcast with me, your host, Aaron Gray. I am so glad to be back. I have spent the last week in Maui, and I always like to say that traveling for me, especially when I go by myself, is like six months worth of coaching in a week. I have pages and pages and pages of aha's and downloads that I'm going to be sharing with you guys on the podcast. I have so many podcast episode ideas that I came up with. So lots of downtime, space for downloads, creativity, all the things. So I'm excited to be here with you guys today. I missed you and I had a really good time. So moving forward on the podcast, what I want to do or implement more of is more storytelling. I think storytelling is really powerful. I think that when I share more about my life, you can see resemblances within you and how you can modify and make changes to live the best, what I like to call fully played out life. Today, what I want to talk about is I reread the book, Soul Sourced Entrepreneur, while I was in Maui. And I will put that link in the show notes, but I want to ask you some questions that she had in the book that are really powerful when it comes to your energy and where are we giving our power away? So let's dive in. One of the things that I am constantly doing is checking in with myself and like my energy, what I am feeling, what am I thinking? What am I believing? Like basically at its very like minute is what am I thinking and believing that is creating what I currently am in? And I think that that allows us to be really conscious and aware of what is going on in our life. Like, and you know, and being with Maui in Maui and allowing for that stillness, that slowdown, that reflection, which I think that there's lots of value in time away. I'm gonna do a podcast episode on solo travel. But as I was, I don't even know how, right? Like one of the things that I wrote in my intention is just for me to receive more. And when I wrote that down when I was in Maui, you know, when I said, What do I want to get when I'm in Maui? It was just like to receive more, receive more downloads, receive more aha's insights, prosperity, abundance in all the ways, right? And obviously, you know, what you ask for, you get. And one of the things that came to me was just to like reread this book. And I think it's a really good read because I think if you're listening, you probably resonate more so with my style than that hustle culture business mentality. And this book is very much so in alignment with kind of how I teach and what I embody in running a business, growing a business, my life, things of that sort. And I want to talk here about power and where do we give our power away. I know I've talked on the podcast before about, you know, our attention is the most valuable currency above money that we have, because everyone is vying for our attention and we really have to start questioning and being very explicit and decisive on where do we want to put our attention, because where we put our attention is what we create in our life. And when I say attention, what I also mean is our power, right? When we are putting our attention on something and we are saying that something is happening to us, or we're not taking responsibility for what we are creating, we are abdicating abdicating our responsibility, our power away from ourselves and putting it on something outside of us. So in this book, the author talks about three different, I don't know if you want to call it ideas or topics or areas, let me say that, areas of where we might outsource our power. And I want to give you these questions to think and to ponder. So if you're on a run, if you're doing dishes, if you are in the uh gym or you're driving your car, this is one of those episodes that I want you to pause it and I want you to give yourself, you know, 15, 20 minutes to come back and listen to this so that you can actually write down and do some journaling about this. So the first one is with people. The first question is among my employees, or if you've got like contract labor or vendors, things of that sort, contracted support, is there anyone who is not up for the task or who's draining me or my time? And this is a conversation that I've had with clients of mine because we think that, oh, it's not a big deal. But this is if if you look at everything as energy, when you are having to expend your energy with someone who you know isn't a good fit. Now we don't need to go in with the axe, you know, and just like, you know, nix nix people that we are we're tired of dealing with. I think that there that goes back to as the leader, as the CEO, it is your responsibility to make sure that the people that you put in the positions that you put in, whether they be contract labor for you or that they are actually your employees, that you actually put them in places that they will thrive in. But if you have done the training, if you have done all of that, what you need to do as a CEO and a leader, and they still aren't up to par or your expectations, you are draining your energy. This is a conversation I used to have with my dad all the time because he has such a soft heart and God love him. And also, you know, what I would tell him is other employees are picking up on this. The morale is changing within the organization. It is exhausting to try to constantly be teaching someone over and over again when we've already had this discussion three, four, five times where it's been notated, where we have, right? So you either need to figure out are they in the best place in your, you know, are they doing work that they love? Are they are they there in the best position for you in your company? Do you need to move them or are they at a place where, you know what? We're just not in an energetic match anymore. And that's okay. We can let go of people in a loving way. I think we've been taught, like, oh, well, if we're not, you know, a match anymore, then off you go, you know, like you're fired, done, bye. You know, it doesn't have to be like that. You can you can let someone go from a place of pure love and compassion. So that would be the first question. And then the follow-up question she asks is what exactly keeps me holding on to these people? And this is where I think you have to go a little bit deeper and you have to ask, where are my people pleasing? What am I afraid of letting go of? You know, is there some fawn in me that I'm trying to people please? Am I afraid of what they'll think of me? Am I, you know, just you really have to start digging deeper and figuring out why am I holding on? If it's someone that you know that you have cultivated and you have really done your part, then why am I holding on? She also asks, what kind of person would be ideal in this role? And when I worked in my dad's company, sometimes what he would do is he would hire people because, hey, we had a position open versus this person is gonna fit this exact job description, right? Like putting someone in a PM, a project management role when they aren't someone who pays attention to detail and they don't enjoy that and they don't enjoy sitting at a desk, I don't think it's loving to them and it's not loving to you. So you really have to start to be, and this takes slowing down. This takes, you know, I'm willing to go through multiple, what's the word I'm looking for? Job applicants, you know, interviews with people to find the perfect person. This is also coming from a belief of I know the perfect person is out there for to help me and work with me in my business. The second question she asks is Is there any service provider or vendor who's no longer the right person to work with, which is very similar to what she is asking about in the employee, but this is now service provider or vendor. And again, why am I holding on to them? And what qualities would an ideal vendor have? And I think that this is also a little bit, this hits at a deservingness and a worthiness because when you know that, like, I like to call it like all A players, right? Like when you know that you are worthy of having everybody on your team that is an A player and they're all in on you and the mission and what you want to create, you know you're worthy of having and attracting and keeping and having those people work with you. And when you don't feel like that, you are when that is when we learn to tolerate things. And maybe we tolerate it because we don't want to actually, you know, put forth the money that it would take to hire that A player. Okay, well, then that shows you where your money beliefs are. Maybe you feel like you're not worthy of it. Okay, well, then that shows you where your worthiness beliefs are, right? So you really have to start give yourself some time to ponder and think about who do you have in your organization that you may have outgrown or that you guys are just no longer on the same frequency and where are you tolerating? And the third question was among friends and others that I spend time with, are there any relationships that are no longer supportive? Where am I tolerating or dealing with behaviors or actions that drain me on a regular basis? And I think that this is you're gonna notice it in every area of your life, right? Where are you the theme here is where are you tolerating, for lack of a better word? I just want to use the word a player, right? Where are you tolerating less than stellar for yourself? And I have a belief now that people are allowed to come in and out of my life all the time. And I think that, you know, we've grown up of like, oh, we have to continue, like you've been friends for so long, or, you know, this person really helped you when you were, you know, having a difficult time in your business or in your marriage or whatever it might be or in your life. But it's okay that people outgrow each other. It's okay to fall away and maybe to come back or to never come back. It's okay. And I think that the more that we allow that, the more that we really are honest with ourselves and what we want and where we tolerating, the more that we can let go of. The idea that I have in my head is like it's almost like a balloon. The balloon can continue to rise because the heavy weight isn't holding the balloon down. Okay, so the next topic she talks about is time. First question is what are five things that I love to do in my business or work that I love to do that also brings in income and supports the business. Next question is, what are five things I resist or even despise doing that I drain my energy but need to get done? And do I have to be the one that does them? I used to think that, you know what, nobody can do it as well as I can. And you know what I created? A lot of work for myself. And what I had to realize is, you know what, there are people that can do work, the same work that I'm doing, probably even better, you know, if that's really what they love to do. And that freed up my time to really do more of that 30,000 foot view. Currently in my business, I do not enjoy, like, you know, I have someone helping me with like the workshop stuff. I don't enjoy figuring out how to do the landing page and how to do the cop. I don't want to, right? I will write the copy, but all of that behind the scenes work that drains me. It also takes me a lot, and I'm air quoting where like what is a lot of time, but it probably takes her like probably 30 minutes, maybe it might take me hours, right? Because I'm not versed in it. And that is something. And when you, when you look at it, when you start to think about, okay, what are those areas that I'm continuing to do? Number one, it's draining your energy. And number two, where are you not maybe even able to make more money? Because your time and your, here you go back to attention. Your time and your attention and your power is being put over here when it could be better served over in this other area. And here you go back to money beliefs. If you were trying to do it yourself, is there a money belief that, like, oh, if I pay someone, does that affect the PL? Like, what are some of those money beliefs that you have that you're not hiring someone to help you in certain areas that you don't enjoy doing? And here you go back to the balloon scenario when you are doing work that you don't enjoy that doesn't genuinely light you up, it is going to weigh you down. And then how can you show up to do the work that you actually love to do because you're so drained from doing work you don't love to do? Third question is if I'm being honest, what habits or activities do I spend time on mindlessly simply because I've always done them? And an example might be looking through email before beginning work. Is this something that I actually need to be doing? If so, is there a more mindful, more productive way to approach it? Like I don't enjoy email. I don't look at my email that often because it's just not a to me, it's just not a productive use of my time. Like, you know, and I think that a lot of us have been taught like, oh, we need to answer emails or we need to answer the phone. No, we don't. Like a lot of what we do in business, it doesn't like the sky isn't falling, the it's not burning down. And if you are someone that's listening and you're like, yeah, but you don't understand, employees need me. Yeah, I had that thought process too. And what I created was a lot of dependency with employees on me versus them starting to sell or problem solve themselves. And that comes from this feeling of inadequacy. If you're not needed anymore, which is actually a really good thing as a CEO, as a founder, as a leader of your company, like that is where you want to be, where nobody needs you because you have either trained or put people in positions that do the job so well that you can actually be the more visionary 30,000-foot view. And you can, I almost look at it as the CEO role is a supportive role. It's like you're the visionary, and then you're also supporting like what do you need? You know, what depart each department or what areas in your business, how can you support those people instead of the micromanaging? Like, what do they need to support? Like having that kind of leading from behind mentality versus this micromanaging. And so, you know, I've even had clients being like, well, I'm becoming obsolete. I'm like perfect. And also we need to coach on what your thoughts are around that because that is coming from I need to be wanted, right? Like we're getting our value from somewhere outside of us. We want our employees or who we work with to want us because we aren't filling that need within us. Okay. And then the third and the final topic is just things. First question is true or false? My environment supports my best self. Like when I was reading this, I was like, okay, I know I need to get a new chair. I know that, you know, there were like just little things that I like made notes with, was like, oh, okay, I need to, we need to pick this part of the house up. And like, you know, like I consider myself a very tidy person. My husband does a lot of the like cleaning and deep cleaning, but I like a tidy house. And when I was in Maui, what I recognized, and what I one of the things that I wrote in my book or my journal was I am very tidy. I like things. I don't like things on the counter. I don't like, you know, clutter in areas of the house. And if you, God love them, there's so much, you know, they've evolved so much. But like my daughter and my husband sometimes, if you come in our house, a lot of things that you'll find that are out in the common areas are their stuff. It's like it takes you four more steps to put your, you know, I tell my husband, it takes you four more steps to put your jacket in the coat closet than it does to just put it on the kitchen, you know, table or kitchen chair. So like just go do that. It like for me, my environment, what I see, like, think about it this way too. Like your brain processes so many things. And every time you walk by something and you look at something, you're processing it, you're making a decision about it, you're having to look at it, all of that kind of stuff. So think about in your environment, in your spaces where you work, where you relax, and where you play. Like, are you are they exactly how you want them? And so I came home and like one of the jokes, I mean, the joke was already like new mom or 2026 new mom or something like that. And then it was like coming home from Maui and it was like, okay, new mom up level again, right? And there will be, uh, I want to say, I don't like the word messy middle, but let's just use that. There will be some uncomfortableness, right? Like if you're used to allowing your children to just keep their, you know, the common areas a little less tidy, well, they might, you know, moan and groan for a little bit because you were changing behaviors. And that's okay, right? Like one of the things that I really had to sit with or drive home, however you want to say it, is like, you know what? My daughter might have a little, like, hey, mom, I don't like this. You know, you're come home and now you're making all these changes. It's like, yeah. And have some compassion for your family members, the people that you work with, give them time, you know, to catch up a little bit. So is it free? You know, are those where you work, where you relax and where you play? Are they free of clutter? Are they free of piles and other messes? And like I said, I mean, the more papers that you have on your desk that you have in your kitchen that you have in areas and clutter, your mind is constantly having to make decisions. And there is such a thing as decision fatigue. So really start to think about like, is every area, like you have to think about yourself as being just like this most amazing, worthy, deserving person that like deserves the best in every area of her life. And like, are those environments that you are in, are they the most supportive to you that you can be and have? So number two, what the question was if the answer is false, what needs to change? And number three was in my efforts to be frugal, where might I be shortchanging my business success? Broken, outdated, or damaged equipment or cheap supplies. And so you don't have to come back and just like I know I said I came back and I'm like, okay, this is changing, this is changing, this is changing, but these are like little changes, right? We don't have to slash and burn everything, but you can walk away with more clarity here. And you could be like, okay, like, like I said, I mean, for me, it was like, no, I really like a tidy house. That's what I want to, that's what I want to have. And and how does that actually benefit all of us? It does. You know, I really want to change my chair. Okay, let's go get me. You know, I've thought about it, I've looked for some. I haven't found the one I wanted, but it's like, okay, that's going to be a priority for me. So it's just like, where are those things that can that you are currently tolerating that you don't actually need to be tolerating? And what are some of those thoughts that you have underneath that are creating you to tolerate it? So I hope this was helpful. Really sit with this, really do the journaling so that you can gain more clarity of like, where am I allowing and tolerating some things that are actually going back to that balloon, keeping that balloon a little bit weighted down versus releasing some of this and allowing that energy and that balloon to elevate on either a higher frequency or just in general, right? Elevate. And if you are a female entrepreneur that is wanting more clarity in her business, someone that knows numbers and money and money mindset and emotional regulation and all of those things that are part of running a business, I would love to support you. If you want to see if we are a good fit, you can click the link in the show notes and schedule a time for us to connect together. I would love to meet you and see if we would be a good fit together. Okay, I will see you guys in the next episode.