196 | The “Not Enough” Trap That’s Blocking Your Next Level

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You can hit your goals, watch the money come in, and still feel like it’s not enough.

On paper, everything works.
Internally, it still feels like you’re behind.

In this episode, I break down the subtle “not enough” pattern that keeps so many entrepreneurs stuck in pressure, urgency, and constant chasing. It shows up in overthinking, problem-solving, and always trying to get to the next level while invalidating the one you’re in.

We shift the conversation from scarcity to sufficiency so your next move comes from calm, clarity, and trust instead of pressure. Because you can love where you are and still want more. And when you lead from that place, your decisions become more grounded, clear, and simple.

In this episode, we cover:

•  The thoughts that signal a “not enough” mindset
•  Why moving the goalposts creates low-level pressure
•  How survival patterns make hustle feel safe and rest feel unfamiliar
•  Redefining “enough” as sufficiency, not a finish line
•  How to create more space through delegation, time, and slowing down

Resources mentioned in this episode:

Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself by Dr. Joe Dispenza

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Transcript

When Success Still Feels Like It’s Not Enough

Erin Gray 0:00

You've built a successful business, you're making money, and somehow it doesn't feel like enough. So you keep moving, you keep pushing, and you keep trying to get to the next level. But what if the thing that is actually keeping you from your next level is the belief that where you are right now isn't enough? Welcome back to your money, your rules. In today's episode, I am going to be talking about something that I see come up for a lot of my clients, as well as myself. I'm not immune to this either. And it's this underlying feeling and belief that where we are isn't enough. And so it can show up in things like it's just not enough, right? Like it could just be that thought. It could be, I'm not there yet. I need to be farther along. I need to keep going or optimizing or figuring this out. And it can be so subtle and it shows up if we aren't onto ourselves. And what I want to offer you today is a completely different way of looking at growth. So let's dive in. As always, I am going to call myself out here and be completely honest and transparent with you because I'm not immune to this either. I was just experiencing this the other day. I caught myself with my, I guess you would call her a holistic practitioner, where I've been working with her around my hormones and my body and supplements and all the lab work, all of the things because I thought, you know, I was noticing my body was feeling different. And I noticed that what I asked her was, well, what else can I be doing? And it came from this place of like what I'm doing is not enough, right? It was an innocent question of, okay, I want to be supporting my body more, but it was with this undertone of like, okay, but I could be doing something else. As if like my body hasn't been doing just these amazing things over the last month, eight months of us working together. And so this not enough thread will show up in all areas of our lives because we have this ultimate belief within ourselves, like that we aren't enough. So then it's not enough. And then it's going to show up in different areas of our life. And so here is what I have been seeing is like you have created something that works. What I find in clients is we create something that works. Your business is generating money, and on the outside or on paper, right? You are and you look successful. But internally, there is this more quiet communication within yourself of I should be further along. I should have this more figured out by now. Or like, why am I back at this place? Like that's one that I hear a lot of clients. Like, why are we back here again? We've already had this. And to that, I will say, you will always be back here again because you're going to be learning and going what I call, you know, the spiral staircase. You're continuously evolving and growing. And when you reach the next level, you're going to experience it again. It's not a problem. And so instead of allowing ourselves to be exactly where we are, to enjoy where we are, to enjoy the fruits of our labor, to have so much gratitude for where we are, what we are doing is we're in just constant movement and what I call like this chasing energy. So we're constantly solving for things, always thinking, always trying to get ahead of something. We're constantly, and when I say scheming, I don't mean in a bad way, but right, like you're you're constantly thinking about all the parts. And what I think that it does is it creates this low-level pressure that never really turns off. And this can also be because of what we are used to. Meaning, if we're used to living in survival, if we're used to being in that fight or flight, we're going to be moving from there because that is actually what feels safe and familiar to us. It doesn't mean that that's what's correct for us. It just means that's what's familiar to us. So our bodies aren't going to feel at ease. It's not going to feel at peace unless we're actually solving problems and constantly thinking about the next thing. Like I spent so many years in my family's construction business in this way. I was constantly thinking about problems. Well, guess what? I never, I had an endless amount of problems to solve versus thinking about how far have we come? What do I love about where we are? Where do I want us to go and grow to is very different energy than everything or looking at things as not enough and it's a problem. And I think for a lot of us, what I'm realizing is we don't actually know how to rest and relax. I just actually had this conversation with a client the other day. We actually scheduled what I call a be bored session in her calendar, like schedule that multiple times in the week. And what that means is you're gonna sit and you're gonna just be bored. And because somewhere probably along the way in childhood, we earned praise and we earned love for constantly moving, growing, what I call earning A's. And so our bodies, our nervous system is very familiar with moving, always chasing, going for the next thing, right? Like I've talked about in previous podcasts. Like, and what will happen is we'll just move the goalposts. But it's this almost this addiction that our bodies are used to feeling of constantly chasing and going after the next thing. And like I mentioned before, this doesn't mean that this is when I say okay, what I mean like this isn't necessarily what we want to have for our bodies in our business, but it feels normal because this is what we have practiced for so many years. We aren't familiar with just being, we aren't familiar with appreciating what we have. We haven't built up that muscle yet. So this feeling that we're used to feeling, and then our relationship with it's not enough is actually what we want to transform. Because when you, where you are, when that when you are constantly thinking that that doesn't feel like enough, how do you think you lead your business, right? That you're leading your business from this place of insufficiency. And insufficiency often creates more insufficiency and it also creates urgency. And it could create pressure, it can create overthinking, it can create decision fatigue, it can create what I call a lot of in your head, not actually being in your body. And those things that we are feeling, they exist because of our thinking, because of what we have trained our bodies to actually be or feel safe with or feel familiar with experiencing. If we have built up the skill set of not enough, of constantly going, of constantly trying to solve problems, of thinking from the problem, not thinking from the end, you make decisions that aren't as clear because you feel like you need to do something, right? Because where you are, you haven't developed the skill set yet of where you are is perfectly okay. So go back and listen to episode 193 of I think it's called Why You Feel Constant Pressure and What Your Root Center is telling you. That's going to help you understand some of this pressure that you might be feeling in your body. I think some of this is part of like human design and how the root center works. It's also these thoughts that we have, these patterns that we have created in our body, what our body is used to feeling. This I am not okay where I am. I need to do more. It's not enough. Like this, sir, there's some thread, and it can be multiple thoughts, but there's some thread in there about creating and feeling pressure and urgency because that is what actually you're familiar with. And this is where I encourage clients to get so tapped into their bodies so that they can decipher what is actually happening, which involves slowing down. It involves delegating roles, not tasks, roles, like put moving things off of your plate, letting go of control, letting go of what you think it's supposed to look like, all of it. And I want to say here that, you know, your body is going to revolt. I was having this conversation with a client the other day, and we were talking about some things. And I said, I just want to be perfectly clear here. When you do this, it's not going to feel like rainbows and daisies. It's your body is want to kick and, you know, like think about a little toddler. It's going to want to kick and scream. Your mind is going to chatter. All of these things are going to happen. This is normal. We're literally retraining our mind and our body into a new way of being. And it's kind of like the price that you're going to have to pay, the ticket to admission. You know, we think that when we make these changes, like our body's going to go for a long for the ride and it's going to be so great. And oh, this is so much fun. And I'm not saying you can't think about of not having fun, but sometimes what we don't recognize is when we're making changes, actually expect for like the turbulence to happen. I don't think we account for the turbulence enough. We think, oh, okay, I have set the intention. I'm going to, you know, make these changes. And then we're surprised when we're feeling, you know, these lower vibration emotions. We're surprised when our body is having these experiences. We're surprised when, you know, our mind is like, who do you think you are? You know, we don't have time for this. We've got things to do. Like we're surprised by this because we actually haven't thought about or kind of put the expectation there that this is what the brain and the body are going to do. I remember when I first read the book by Dr. Joe Dispenza, I think it's called Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself. I'll put that link in the show notes. But he talks about how he has people sitting down for meditation and you sit and you don't leave until, and I think it can be a little bit like I, everybody, you know, you've got to do your own thing. You got to trust your own body. But like what he talks about is sitting down and not getting up until you are a changed person, meaning you haven't listened to your body, you haven't heard what your mind is saying, and you've just, you know, followed it. You've actually sat down and you've meditated and you've actually felt what needed to be felt in the body. So just recognize, regardless, when you start making these changes, your brain and your body are going to feel it. It's part of the process. So I want to redefine what actually enough is and I and what it actually means to you, because enough is kind of like expensive. What does that even mean? It's all relative, right? Not enough to whom, not enough based on what, not enough, like it all is a comparison. And I think you really have to get clear because it's a very vague word, just like, oh, that's so expensive. It's like compared to what? And so actually defining what does enough mean to me. I think enough means that it is you're in sufficiency. Like when we talk about going from scarcity to abundance, I really think enough is having its sufficiency. It's loving where you are and wanting more, but not from a place of lack. It doesn't mean that you stop asking for what you want. It doesn't mean that you stop growing. It just means that you stop invalidating where you are while you grow. I think so many of us are so focused on where we're going, we don't even give ourselves the atta girl of where we have been or where we are. Like give yourself a hot two seconds before you're on to the next thing. You know, you can look at your business and you can say, like, I love how far we have come and I love where I am. And I can't wait to see where we're going to go and grow to and what unfolds next. Like we can, all of those things can be true at one point in time. I think a lot of us think we have to almost like push away the past in order to feel good about where we're going. It's like we can love where we were. We can love the person that we were 10 years ago. We can love what we had to go through in order to get where we are. And we can also have so much joy and anticipation for where we are going. It's not a denial of like who we are in order to who we want to become or return home to. It's like loving all those parts of us. And I think what it also means is pausing long enough, which I don't think that we're great at, is to see what you have actually created, right? Of being in that feeling of having versus not having. I think so many of us are in that energy of not having, you know, whether it's not having, it's not enough, not good enough. I don't like it. It's in that energy of there's something wrong here versus everything is amazing. What have I learned from this? Where do I want to go? Where do I want to grow to? And I love how far I have come. And it's from this place of having, right? Having of sufficiency, I call it sufficiency, that you make your next move. Because when I always say you can't put in lack and then expect sufficiency or abundance out on the other side, right? So when you start to grow from a place of enough, of this feels fun from curiosity, that feels very different in the body than growing from pressure or urgency. Or, you know, I think growing from pressure is very reactive, right? We we want to make fast moves. We want to, um, it feels very urgent. We usually complicate things or we complicate things more than they need to be complicated because what I call it's like in our heads, not in our bodies, right? We're trying to like get out of a feeling versus just allowing and enjoying where we are. Growth from enough feels what I call is like, are you in clean energy? Are you intentional? Are you calm? Are you in your body? Are you listening to your intuition? Have you allowed spaciousness for your decisions? And when I mean spaciousness, I mean ample amounts of time to feel into a decision. Are you grounded? Like the decisions that we make from a grounded, from a calm, from a confident place, that is such a different feeling in our body than one of we have to hurry, hurry up. It's pressure. We have to hurry, make a decision, quick now, right? You're trying to relieve something versus just be in something. So I think also two here that I want to say is that this is also about increasing our capacity to have, to have more space in our lives, to allow for more spaciousness, luxury. And I don't mean like the designer bags, right? I mean when you allow yourself such an ample amount of time to feel into a decision, because 50% of us need to ride our wave when it comes to decision making. So are you allowing luxurious amounts of space and time to make and to feel into decisions? So increasing your capacity to have, to slow down, to be okay with the level of stillness that we're talking about here. Are you increasing your, you know, this is allowing you to increase your capacity to have more money, more clients, more ease, more fun. Like, think about when you are so stressed, when you are moving from that place of not enough, you're like, okay, I got to go to the next thing. Like, how much joy and fun are you actually having in your life and business? Or are you thinking like, okay, when I get there, I'm gonna feel a certain way and then I'm gonna be able to relax. It's like it's never gonna happen. So this is the work. This is the not so what I call not so sexy work, right? This isn't the like Instagram reel, like, oh, look what I did, you know, overnight kind of thing. This is the intentional, I care about myself, I care about my body, I care about my business kind of work. Learning how to sit and be in sufficiency, in having, or what I call, you know, the enough, air quotes enough, long enough without immediately trying to move out of it. And like I said before, your body is going to want to revolt. It's going to feel weird initially because you're so used to and your pattern is so used to rushing. So letting your business just be where it is and enjoying it, not scanning for the problems, but just enjoying what you have created and like looking toward and forward to your vision, allowing things to come with clarity, with time. I'm gonna do a podcast on that because I think it's really important. Is clarity comes through time. It doesn't come through getting in your head, trying to problem solve, trying to think of all the things. It comes from time, not from pressure. And just allowing yourself to just be to let the intuition come, to let the clarity come, to let the downloads come. And that all also comes from allowing yourself to have space. So if you are in a season where your business is working, yet it doesn't necessarily feel like you thought it would or it should, this might actually be what you are experiencing. So learning how to lead from sufficiency instead of pressure. Like I just want you to think about like close your eyes right now if you're driving, obviously, but close your eyes right now and think about what does it feel like when you give yourself ample enough time? How does your body exhale? How does it relax? Imagine feeling like that eight out of the 10 times in your day, right? But I think a lot of us right now are so gripping and tight and we feel so pressure and we have so much urgency and like it has to happen right now, right? It's like gripping, it's like gripping what we want tightly versus lightly. So learning how to actually move from having and sufficiency instead of pressure, it changes everything in your life. It changes how you make decisions, it changes how you run your business, it changes how you feel in your body. And let's be honest, I know I talk a lot about business, I talk a lot about money, all those things, but really at the end of the day, it's how it feels in our body. Like everything we're doing is for a feeling. We want to feel calm. We want our bodies to feel at ease and relaxed. So, this is the work that I do with clients, some of the work. I do a lot of stuff with clients, but this is some of the most, I think, potent work that I do with clients, getting in out of your head into your body and really starting to trust yourself and slow down. So if this resonates with you, you can apply to work with me or you can reach out to start a conversation. And as always, thank you for being here, for sharing your time with me. And I really want you to spend this week noticing how often am I moving from, and it's going to be a pattern, right? It's going to be a habit, moving from this place of rushness versus slowing down and allowing yourself to just be in the energy of having and sufficiency. Okay, I'll see you in the next episode.