197 How Emotional Eating, Hormones & Self-Worth Are Secretly Connected (with Amber Romaniuk)

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On the podcast this week, my dear friend, Amber Romaniuk joins me for an honest and powerful conversation about emotional eating, binge eating, women’s hormones, burnout, self-worth, and healing from the inside out.

Amber shares her deeply personal journey through food addiction, bulimia, body shame, hormone imbalances, and emotional suppression; including the rock-bottom moment that forced her to confront the deeper roots behind her behaviors.

Together, we explore:

• Emotional eating and nervous system dysregulation 
• The hidden connection between stress and weight gain 
• Cortisol, thyroid health, and hormone imbalances 
• Burnout culture and women’s health 
• Self-worth, control, and perfectionism 
• Why healing is about safety, not punishment 
• How women can reconnect with their intuition and bodies 

If you have been struggling with burnout, body image, emotional eating, chronic stress, or feeling disconnected from yourself, this episode is for you.

Healing starts when we stop fighting our bodies and start listening to them instead.

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Transcript

The Dumpster Cookie Breaking Point

Amber Romaniuk 0:00

I'd always throw the food in the garbage can because I thought, well, if I throw it away, I'm not gonna go and eat through my garbage. Like the who the hell would ever do that? I'm not gonna do that. The food settles like an hour later, and then of course my all or nothing ego inner critic came in and is like, well, if this is the last time you're gonna do this, you might as well finish it off. And I grabbed the cookies and I ate them. I am like, I just ate in my freaking garbage and dumpster. I'm alone, like I don't understand how this ended up being my life. Like, what is going on? This is horrible.

Erin Gray 0:39

I wanted to share a quick little update with you. I am coming back to YouTube. It feels really aligned for me where I am right now. I have someone that I'm super excited about that's helping me edit and put everything up there for you guys. You know, as a consumer, I love to watch people on YouTube, you know, when I listen to podcasts. And also, you know, for me being on there to connect with you. Like I love connecting. Video is another way that I love to connect so that you can see me face to face and have these conversations in a deeper way. I want to say that the episodes will be released on Thursdays. This is going to allow more continuity across all of the platforms and everything that I am giving and sharing with you guys. So I just want to say thank you for being here, for listening, for growing alongside me, for all of the changes that I've made along the way as I've, you know, learned and iterated and refined. I just want to say thank you. If you're new here, I want to say welcome. So you can listen to me here like you continue to do. And if you want to, come visit me and join me on YouTube. I'll be there as well.

YouTube Return And Thursday Releases

Erin Gray 1:50

Today on the podcast, I am joined by my dear friend Amber Romagnac. Amber is an emotional eating, digestive, and hormone expert. And she has spent over a decade supporting high-achieving women in building a healthier, more connected relationship with their bodies. Her work goes far beyond food. She helps women understand the deeper patterns, the beliefs, and the emotional roots that keep them stuck so that they can create real lasting change, not just temporary fixes. And one of the things that I absolutely love about Amber is that her work is deeply rooted in her own experience. She teaches from embodiment, from having gone through this herself. She has navigated so much in her own journey with emotional eating. You'll hear this in the episode, losing and gaining over a thousand pounds, healing her hormones and digestion along the way. She is also the host of the No Sugar Coating podcast and now supports women in creating what she calls body freedom where health, confidence, and self-trust all come together. I know that you're going to going to enjoy this episode as much as I did hosting her. And I think that there's so much connection, which you will hear in the episode, between our bodies and our money and self-love and self-trust. So let's dive in.

Amber’s Story From Trauma To Healing

Erin Gray 3:17

Thanks, Amber, for joining us. I'm so glad you're here.

Amber Romaniuk 3:19

Thank you for having me, Erin. I am absolutely honored to be with you today.

Erin Gray 3:23

So fun. So, do you want to start with just sharing just a little bit about your story? Because I think one of the things, and I talked about this before we got on, one of the things I love about you and me is that we teach from an embodied experience versus I think we've both had lots of mentors in our lives who have maybe taught in theory, but not actually walking the walk. And I really love how, hey, I've been in the trenches with, you know, so nothing that you are saying, suggesting, advising, coaching, all the things you haven't been through yourself.

Amber Romaniuk 3:55

Yeah, 100%. I think that's one of the most valuable assets in finding the right person to work with these days, regardless of what you are wanting support with, is embodiment. Um, because I've had the same experiences where I've invested in things and the it's it was just to get you in the door, and then there was no embodiment, and it's frustrating. So I where would where should I start? I went through a very deep experience with binge eating, food addiction, bulimia, and emotional eating. It started at a very young age, unconsciously with emotional eating. I didn't even realize I was doing it, but there were some key kind of like experiences that I'll just like touch on briefly. So when I was five, it was my first day taking the bus, and the older boys call me fat and ugly, and then the whole bus made fun of me. And that is a trauma that I definitely took so deep within me and like took on that identity of fat and ugly for the next 20 years of my life and felt very unworthy. And my mom was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis before I was born, and she had an unconscious food addiction, I think, that was developed after getting that diagnosis, which is so ironic. You're slowly losing control of your body and you're trying to grip with control with food. Obviously, I didn't know she had a food addiction until I healed my own and just started to observe some of her habits. However, we revolved a lot of our relationship around food, and I think it was one of the ways that she compensated for not being able to do certain things due to the symptoms that would flare up for her. So I just could eat whatever I wanted whenever I wanted, and there wasn't really any like nutrition knowledge in the house, which I feel like in the late 80s and 90s was just not really a thing anyway. I obviously love my parents and I'm so grateful for the experience I had growing up, but there was definitely a lot of like suppression of emotions, holding things in because my mom was dealing with so much and I didn't want to be a burden and I didn't want to put any of my struggles or problems on them. So I just suppressed a lot, ate, you know, and thought, oh, I can eat what I want whenever I want, and it doesn't matter, and you there have good genes or bad genes and good luck or bad luck, and I probably got my mom's side of the family and I'm gonna be overweight and probably end up with a disease by the time I'm my parents' age, and like just this is the stories that I was creating and that society was teaching me. And then I started dieting in my early teens. Of course, Hollywood and the media heavily programmed me that my body wasn't good enough, and that in order to have love and success and money and all these things, you have to look perfect and fit in their box of fake editing and photoshopping, and of course, later on learn so much more about really the true intent of media and Hollywood and trying to take women's power away on a very deep level. But yeah, you start dieting and restricting, and then you gain weight, and then you can't attain it, and then you gain it back. And then I started um binge eating in my early 20s. So I had to break up that made me so upset I could barely eat, and then I started losing weight really quickly, and I'm like, oh, I'm gonna reach my goal weight, and this is great, right? Revenge body, all that. Lost the weight. Guy didn't want me back, thought it was gonna fix everything in my life, and I'd finally be happy because the weight loss industry literally brainwashes you to think once you lose weight, you'll finally be happy. It's such a lie. But anything you hear long enough, repetitively enough, you can start to believe. And so I lost the weight, nothing was getting better. I would pick myself apart every day in the mirror for hours. My period disappeared. And then it was kind of like I got to this point where I went to this party and there was like ice cream cake and different things, and I had a piece, and then I was like, oh, I want another piece. And then this all or nothing like mentality came in, and it's like, screw it. I don't care. I'm gonna eat whatever I want and I'll deal with it tomorrow. And I like drove home and got fast food and ate until I was so full I was sick, and then the next morning was in sheer panic and went to the gym for several hours to try and, you know, work it off and skip meals, and that really birthed the all or nothing mentality for me, whether I was in restriction, trying to find the next diet or eating style, using exercise and restriction to try and control my weight and prevent weight gain, or I was completely losing control and binge eating five or six days a week, spending $50 to $80 every time I'd go and buy binge food at the organic store, trying to justify why the organic store was a better choice. Not when you're eating a table full of food and eating until you're so full you're sick. But it got to the point where it was either like gas or go and binge. And I'm like, I want a binge, so I'll just put like three dollars in my tank, just enough to get me to there and back, and then I'll call my parents and ask for some money and say that I misbudgeted this month because nobody knew. I wasn't telling anyone what I was struggling with, and I didn't even know what I was dealing with at first. So I gained 80 pounds in four months, then was the heaviest I had ever been, and just felt so ashamed, embarrassed, and like unrecognizable. And I then I hid and I didn't want to go out. I didn't want to see anyone, I didn't want to be social. I didn't allow myself to date because God forbid anyone would give me any time because I was so overweight. Um, and that whole cycle of binge eating happened for another couple of years until I had my low point moment. And just before my low point moment, I started to learn that I was binge eating. I was in denial. I was like, it's not a big deal. Food's my friend. Who would I be without it? The thought of going on this journey, I have 80 pounds to lose. That feels daunting enough, let alone dealing with binge eating and all this other stuff. I don't even know where to start. And and my bulimia happened within the first six months of starting to gain weight. I thought if I purged, I wouldn't gain weight, but it was really just like a deeper take lack of taking ownership responsibility. So I stopped that because I was concerned of the health issues it could create if I kept doing it. But yeah, so I was now aware that I'm binge eating, but I'm in denial. And it was just such a familiar, comfortable state to focus on, wishing I was, you know, weighed less, planning my binge, doing it, feeling like garbage and just repeating the cycle. And so then I had my low point moments where I finished a binge, threw the food in the garbage, you know, always felt in such immense physical and emotional pain, just laying on the couch, horrible stomach ache, feeling so full. It literally was like, I, it's only a matter of time before my insides explode. Like it's literally what it felt like. It was so bad. And I was just laying on the couch in pain, just thinking, I don't think I'm gonna make it to 30 if I keep up this level of destructive behavior, these thoughts, these habits. Like it's so destructive. And I'd always throw the food food in the garbage can because I thought, well, if I throw it away, I'm not gonna go and eat through my garbage. Like the who the hell would ever do that? I'm not gonna do that. And so I throw the food away. The food settles like an hour later. And then, of course, my all or nothing ego inner critic came in and is like, well, if this is the last time you're gonna do this, you might as well finish it off because it's the last time, right? I would tell me that myself that every freaking night, and it never was. And so that night I went in, I pulled my glue blue garbage can out of my kitchen in my little apartment, and I grabbed the cookies and I ate them. And then I went and threw them out in the dumpster, and then I went back out in the dumpster later and grabbed them and ate them. And then I just sat on on the floor in my kitchen and I'm like, who am I? What the hell is wrong with me? I am like, my bank account's in the red. I just ate in my freaking garbage and dumpster. I'm alone. Like, I don't understand how this ended up being my life. Like, what is going on? This is horrible. But I needed that moment to happen because it crushed the denial that what I was doing wasn't a big deal. And it crushed the fear of the unknown of like, who would I be if I go on this journey? Who would I be without food? Right? I was afraid to face what was going on. I was afraid to deal with it, and I didn't know how to. And in that moment, the fear of all that was crushed, and the suffering became so big in that moment that I could no longer ignore it. And I just the way I describe it visually is I felt like I was on the edge of the Amazon jungle with a butter knife, getting ready to just like find my way through. I didn't get help. And there was, you know, a couple things that prompted that. The first thing was I mustered up a bit of money to go and see a psychologist, and I'm not poo-pooing. However, I went for the appointment, poured my heart out, and told her like everything I'm telling you here. And she just looked at me and said, Well, just don't go to the store and buy the food. You just need to love yourself. And I was like, Really? That's it. She's like, Well, yeah. And then I just felt this judgment energy. And I was like, Have you ever been through this? She's like, No. And I'm like, Well, how are you qualified to help people with it then? And that triggered me to go and binge. And then there was like this voice/slash feeling within me that's like, just you're gonna figure it out, just like start getting on the journey. And obviously that was like my higher self, my right, like all of this intuition and stuff that I started to tap into later. But it was just like, you're gonna figure it out, just get started. You're gonna do this on your own. And so then I started on my healing journey, which was very multi-dimensional, physically, mentally, emotionally, energetically, spiritually, behaviorally, like hormonally, all the levels, and fully healed, food addiction, binge eating, emotional eating, learned to love myself, learned what it meant to be in my power, learned how to take ownership and responsibility for my stuff, learned healthy ways to cope with stress, learned how to feel my emotions because I was terrified to do so, and started healing from the inside out. And as I did, it was so transformative and magnetic. And people around me started to ask questions and what are you doing? And you know, once I stopped binge and really the self-worth and self-love clicked, I was like, oh my gosh, now I think I know why I went through all of this because I think this is what I came here to do. I came to this planet to teach this and help women heal. And that's what prompted starting my business 12 and a half years ago. And healing that has given me everything I have. My self-worth and self-love, most importantly, my connection with my body and intuition, my body, who's my biggest guide and teacher and has taught me everything that I teach to my clients. My amazing husband, soulmate that I attracted through healing, right? Like my business, all the healing that I've done through that, because that's a whole other level of healing. But I'm just so grateful because it's helped me become the woman that I, you know, could honestly have never dreamed I would be, and I am, and and continue to appreciate the growth and the lessons. So that's what brought me to where I am now.

Control Patterns With Food And Money

Erin Gray 13:26

Man, so so much goodness. I'm gonna like rattle off a couple of things and then you can pick whatever you want to go with. But first and foremost is like this control. You said it, but it's like we all have our own sense of control. Like mine was working, mine was saving and hoarding. But and I know that when I first listened to your podcast when we first met, I was like, oh my gosh, you could literally insert food with money, and it would be my podcast. It doesn't matter what your vice or what your thing is. You know, mine has been money, yours has been food and weight, but it just it just still shows up, right? It comes from this place of like wanting to control, not wanting to feel, not wanting, not knowing even how to be in your body, not loving yourself. Like I always go back to like at the base, it is so simple, but it's not, it's easy, is like it's all about like self-love and worthiness and like just being your biggest advocate and supporter, but we're not taught those things. And I think there's a little bit of like addictedness, right? Like that, you know, Dr. Joe talks about this is like this addictive, like what our bodies are used to feeling. And I was telling this a client the other day, I was like, listen, this is what we're gonna do. And it's not gonna be rainbows and daisies, like be prepared. Your body is going to want to revolt. Like, I'm not gonna sugarcoat it for you and and lie and be like, it's no, your body and your brain is gonna go ape shit crazy when I when you sit down for 15 minutes and you have nothing else to do. And just expect that. And I don't think that we're taught that in the world, right? Like that when you make these changes, we always see people that their end result or their after effect. But I don't think a lot of people are open enough or sharing enough, like, no, the where how I got here was a lot of, you know, all of the things in between.

Amber Romaniuk 15:13

So I agree with you. And I think that's one of the biggest problems and why the diet and the marketing or the marketing with the diet in the weight loss industries is still so massive because people are so addicted to the before and after, and getting to that after as quickly as possible, even if there's like risky, like life-altering side effects, like with the Ozempic and the weight loss drugs and things like that that are not even supposed to be used for weight loss. And so it's like we need to recondition society that it's going to take time and you can't mess with nature, and you've got to be willing to actually like get uncomfortable and look at why this has been happening and why you feel uncomfortable slowing down, why you feel guilty eating enough, why you are afraid to feel your emotions, right? Whatever it is that you're dealing with, because yeah, you're you're when you start to actually explore it, you are gonna feel uncomfortable. You are going to, your brain's gonna be like, no, revert back, go, go binge, go shove it down, right? But it's gonna be about catching it and repatterning and and also understanding how it all works. Because when I started to learn that, wow, I want to binge in the evening. And even if I don't want to binge, all of a sudden I want to. And I'm like, I don't understand why. And when I learn that you wire pathways in your brain, neural pathways, that every time you repeat a pattern the same time every day, even if you don't want to do it, it's gonna light up and there's gonna be such a strong pull to do it. And your brain doesn't recognize really supportive, healthy neural pathways from unhealthy ones, right? And the nervous system registering comfort, no matter what the habit or behavior is, even if it's not good for you, even if it's detrimental to your well-being, that's why it felt so safe and familiar for me to binge and obsessed about diets and losing weight, because it's what was comfortable and familiar. And what was uncomfortable and unfamiliar was understanding my triggers, working through them, was learning self-love, was taking ownership and responsibility for why I was triggered in the first place rather than, oh, it's this person's fault that I binged last night. They upset me. And also, you know, that I was afraid to feel. So if I just shove everything down, I won't have to feel it. And so understanding wow, my amygdala in my brain, which is my fight or flight center of the brain, recognizes discomfort or unfamiliarity as a threat to my survival. And that's why it can feel so easy, even though the current forms of behavior were causing immense suffering. My amygdala was like, this is safe and familiar. So just stay over here, right? This is one of the reasons why it feels so uncomfortable at first when we're changing the way we treat ourselves or speak or habits, because your brain is wired to your current comforts, even if they're

Why Change Feels Threatening

Amber Romaniuk 17:52

not good for you.

Erin Gray 17:52

Yeah. Familiar doesn't mean it's the best thing for you. It just means we're just used to feeling it on a consistent basis. Yeah. And I think also, too, what you said is like weight is a symptom. It's not like, but many of us think weight is the like solve for the weight, but it's you actually have to get to the root cause because I know when you and I have talked offline, it's like I haven't ever binged weight, however, you say I haven't binged eight, right? But recently over recognizing, okay, my body is shifting, I'm having, I'm gaining weight. What is going on? And I knew enough about my body to be like, okay, something's off. But most people are like, I'll just exercise harder. I'll just right. Versus, hey, let's actually get curious from a place of self-love. Like our body's natural state is to be at whatever that ideal weight is for you.

Amber Romaniuk 18:42

Yeah.

Erin Gray 18:42

But you gotta like shut that whole, you know, weight whole thing off with that too. But it's like recognizing like what is my body trying to tell me about my stress. And I feel like I've gone from a hundred miles an hour to 50, 40 miles an hour, right? But how much more like our tolerance of what we're so used to, and we don't think that that is like we're just so used to running at such a fast pace that even when we do make changes, it's like, no, and even more so, like you know what I mean?

Amber Romaniuk 19:14

Yeah, 100%. And I think burnout's been so normalized, and so many women are walking around in a burnout state and they have no idea, and they're just accepting brain fog and fatigue and inflammation and chronic symptoms as as normal because it's been so normalized in society and Western medicine's like, yeah, oh well, yeah, this is your your 40. Yeah, you're just gonna have to accept that things are gonna decline now, or whatever the BS lines that they're giving you. And I think that because it's been so normalized and because we're not taught, you know, okay, it's not normal to be fatigued, it's not normal to, you know, hang on to weight and not let it go, like there's like you said, weight gain is a symptom. Your body protects with weight. The two last priorities are weight loss and reproduction when the body is in a survival state, in a threat state. And so what we have to start understanding is if my body doesn't feel safe if I'm hanging on to weight, if I'm exhausted, if I have skin issues, if my you know cycle's off, I'm having heightened symptoms and perimenopause, my mood is far off. These are all the ways that your body tries to speak to you and get your attention and say, hey, something is off. Are you willing to look at it more? Are you willing to investigate, get help investigating, whatever you have to do? But there are things I want to teach you and give you more information on. But I I need you to look at it and I need you to give it some time and understand why it's happening. Because when I stopped binge eating, I gained 80 pounds again and I wasn't binge eating, and it was hormone imbalances and high blood sugar and like all of the stress post-binge eating, and then starting a business and be like, holy crap, I need to like make this self-sustained and I have a year to do it. So I felt very a lot of pressure, right? And so that amplified the hormone issues I already had from you know those behaviors, and then just like pushed it up another level. And it was like my mind was just like, how the hell did I gain 80 pounds again? I'm not even binge eating. But this is the reality of my body didn't feel safe. And it was setting boundaries in my business, not people pleasing, really being mindful of what I was giving my energy to. It was quitting the gym and stopping the 7 a.m. hit training five days a week and napping and resting and just going for walks and stretching. And once I made those changes and supported my hormones properly, I'd found some hormone issues that, you know, my blood labs didn't show me that saliva testing really did show me. And once I started to take those steps and deal with those things, it melted off. And it blew my mind that resting and and figuring out what was gonna help my body feel safe literally was the magic formula. And it I was like, what? I don't need to do this crazy exercise that I hate to lose weight and keep it off. I'm losing the weight by loving myself and giving my body what she really needs. Like, this is next. Level. And it doesn't matter to me your age. And some people are like, well, you were only in your mid-20s when that happened. And I'm like, yeah. And I've witnessed women from their 20s to their 80s see the same thing happen when they get honest with themselves and they really work on identifying the roots of their weight loss blocks. Because yeah, it's a we all have a natural set point, and your body will go there when you find out the information and you figure out what she needs to feel safe. Doesn't matter. We're not meant to force exercise we hate. We're not meant to restrict and shut things, natural signals off in our bodies, right? So that was a huge limiting belief that I had to heal, which is like, oh, you need to exercise to lose weight and keep it off. Well, you can exercise and gain weight and keep gaining weight, right? So that was a healing moment.

Weight Gain As A Safety Signal

Erin Gray 22:46

And I think it sounds, I wrote down it's so simple, it's not easy to do, right? And we're we're taught, I I don't know how you feel about this, but like I feel like the the business world is changing. But I grew up in a very masculine business world with construction and financial planning. And so I was around my dad for what 12-ish years, like business wise. And when I think about it, he didn't eat. He woke up, I don't even know at what time, but he would probably be at work by like 6:30 or 7. He wouldn't leave until six. He wouldn't eat breakfast, he wouldn't eat lunch, he wouldn't exercise. Like it was so focused on business. And of course, whoever you're around, like you you bring that, you know, I would eat and exercise and things of that sort. But I had to retrain my brain of like, that's not actually how my energy moves. And I don't even know if that's how his energy moves from like that constant, you know, being worked. Like there's a lot of beliefs that he's got around working hard and all that. But like really, I had to start, it's like, no, my I I need naps. I need to rest. I actually don't do good by waking up at 6 a.m. I do better, you know, and I need 10 hours of sleep. Like he might get, I don't even know, five, six, who knows what that meant. You know, but it's just like we are taught or we either are taught and or we are around people and like this business hustle culture. You know, you got everybody that's got somebody who, you know, can tell you, like, oh, I wake up at it's like who wants, I don't want to wake up at 5 a.m. Maybe some people want to, right? I tend to wake up earlier on vacation. That's a whole nother thing. But you know, like I I really like to get 10 hours of sleep. I feel good when I get that. I notice, and I think the more that we tap into our body, like you're saying, then our body talks to us and tells us these things. But many of us are not yet willing to actually slow down enough to hear what our body is telling us. We're just so focused on the end result, like what you were talking about with weight. Like we're so focused on business, we're so focused on making the money that we're we're missing, like what you said, is the whole process. Like the money in the business is is the cherry on top. But like, how do you feel along the way? And I had to redefine what success meant to me because in growing up and people I've been around, success equated money. But what good is all the money if you don't have a healthy body, if you're not, you know, alive enough to go and enjoy it and you're not able to be present with your kid, or you're just so burnt out at the end of the day, you're just like, I have no more capacity for anything else. Like we have to really redefine what success looks like for us. And I think it's very different for women than it is for men.

Amber Romaniuk 25:24

100%. You're right. And women are meant to sleep more than men. Like for hormones, women need eight to ten hours of sleep a night. That is optimal, right? It's very rare a woman can thrive off of less, and your labs will tell you, and your energy levels will tell you the truth. So I think that's really important. And you're right, and and we're so busy reaching these end goals. And it's it's like, no, it's actually about the journey, like you said, and and your quality of life and how you feel. Because I've, you know, talked to and worked with women who are have very incredibly successful businesses and they are completely burnt out. They have a million health issues, they're drinking, they're overconsuming, they're people like they're so burnt out and beyond themselves and they're so upset about it. But then there's this resistance or this hesitance to want to change those habits because again, it's uncomfortable, it's unfamiliar, it's different. Or their worth is tied up with how much they do rather than worth being a feeling you access in any moment because you're born worthy and you're worthy because you exist. So if you've tied your worth up and your identity up with my success and how much I do in my business and how much money I make, oh is that ever gonna be uncomfortable when it's like now it's time for some self-care or it's time to unplug and set boundaries in your business and get off your phone and and take an hour for yourself, right? And I don't think we've been properly educated about our hormones as women. A lot of women don't even realize perimenopause is a thing and starts between 35 and 37 and goes until you hit peri or hits per menopause rather. You know, when you stop your period for a year and you ideally are in your 50s and not your mid-40s. And, you know, if you are, then we can work on that. But I just think that there's such a miss with understanding things like this. And to what you were saying earlier about, you know, us being so busy and not going inward, I think, yeah, part of it is that. And I think the other thing is so many women don't believe they ever could have the magic like within them to be able to connect with their bodies. Like, I'm not special, I don't have the gift or capability to tune into my body. And I'm like, let's just do it right now. And they do, and they're like, oh my gosh, it's so easy. I'm like, yeah, because you're meant to, but we're so conditioned that we're these pathetic little things on this planet that literally are so powerless, but there's so much power within us. And so I think that the more we can be willing to connect with our bodies and get the proper information along with that, like intuitive guidance and listening. And that's the best of both worlds is bringing the labs and your symptoms and your health assessment together with what you've been and feeling intuitively in your body. And then let's work on that and create an aligned protocol to help you get where you want to go and work on each piece emotionally, energetically, behaviorally, whatever it is. Because the more you do that, you you step into your power, your magnetism, your your love, and your worth, and your intuition and your intuitive gifts just like expand exponentially, and then your business grows and your family life is better and the energy in your household. Like, I have so many clients, and their husbands are like, the energy is better at home. Like, you're so much more confident. Like, we don't argue ever any like it's just so cool to see the dynamics improve in relationships and marriages get better, and like all of these things because you decided that you're worth it and that it's time to make a change. Like it's so it's so amazing.

Redefining Success Beyond Hustle

Erin Gray 28:43

Yeah, it's like the ripple effect or the cascade effect, you know? What in terms of because that was something that I had to first of all, I am not the typical Western medical person. So that was already like a I just believe that the body can heal itself. And it's like wanting to find people that you can connect with that believe that versus I did not want to go somewhere and they'd be like, oh, well, you just need thyroid medicine. It's like, nope, again, a symptom. That's not the root cause. So, what are some hormones that people could have checked? And what what I've done working with my lady, she's like, this is what the Western says, but we actually operate on a very smaller, you know, spread between the two, you know, between the numbers. So what is your I guess things that you would have people look at, their hormones? What are some of those couple of them that you're like, these are definitely things that I would be checking out to see if you're on point or not?

Amber Romaniuk 29:40

Yeah, 100%. And and I would highly encourage you to work with someone who has a more holistic read on labs because otherwise, if you go to your doctor and they order this stuff for you, they're gonna just give it back to you and be like, Yeah, everything's fine. It's not that. And that feels so frustrating when you feel something off in your body, and then they just trusting your body and you go get a second, third opinion. And so morning cortisol. So cortisol is your stress hormone, and it's one of the first things that gets impacted when you're in the fight or flight, when you're in the self-sabotage, when you're in the binging in your business and overbooked, and you know, the last priority on your list. And cortisol starts to climb, and then we start to gain weight in the abdomen, we get brain fog, we get fatigue. High cortisol suppresses our immunity. So you may catch yourself catching more colds and flus and having struggles recovering. And then we start having more digestive issues and gut sensitivity and fertility issues, and then it's hard to lose weight altogether. And so I feel like cortisol is the first, one of the first dominoes that starts to shift that is often not tested and is ignored. And so here's the important thing with morning cortisol: you've got to go before 8 a.m. fasting, no caffeine exercise, anything for it to be accurate. Even if you get in at 8 and you can't get the lab drawn until 8:30, it's not gonna be an accurate result. I only give a five to 10 minute grace period because otherwise, cortisol is the highest within the first couple hours of waking, and then it starts to drop off. And most women tend to have an above average of that level, and that's the most optimal time to see it. However, we can also do salivary four-point cortisol tests, and you spit into a little tube, sounds so fancy. You know, several times through the day, and we measure different reads, especially if you're having crashes in the afternoon or trouble falling asleep. Cortisol is huge because what's interesting when we start to talk about the thyroid is most women have a thyroid issue because their nervous system is stressed to the nines and they have a cortisol issue, but most doctors are not testing cortisol. And to your point about ranges, yes, the normal ranges for testing are far too big. And that's why it's important to read with someone who can take a more functional, holistic read because the optimal ranges are like I'm gonna say half to three quarters of what is actually on that lab. And I'll share an example with the thyroid. So with thyroid, we want to test TSH, that's thyroid stimulating hormone, and our pituitary produces that. And when your cortisol's up or you're in adrenal burnout or adrenal fatigue, which is high or low cortisol, your brain senses stress, and then your pituitary gets overstimulated, and you actually end up producing too much thyroid-stimulating hormone. And even just that number being off can start to trigger hair loss, eye breath inning, cold hands and feet, weight gain, troubles, losing, constipation, anxiety, joint aches and pains, not feeling hungry, which is if you then skip the meals, it's gonna stress your metabolism out even more. Yeah, it's a huge one. And so many women are like, I'm not hungry, I'm just not gonna eat. And then they get upset because they gain more weight because it trashed their metabolism to ignore that I'm not hungry and not try to figure out why. So optimal TSH, the range is like 0.5 to 4.5. They just made it 0.5 to 6.5 here in Canada. It's ridiculous. Optimal, 0.6.7 to 1.75. Most women, when they go above a 1.75 with their TSH, they start to have those symptoms. Even me, once I'm at like a 1.6, 1.7, uh, my hair starts a little falling out, I get a little constipated, my hunger signal isn't strong. I can feel it. And this is the beauty of becoming attuned and knowing the symptoms. Because then when I go get my labs in a couple weeks and I see that my TSH is up or my T4 is too low, it validates the intuitive hits and the symptoms, which all work together, right? And I'm like, oh, that's interesting. What's going on? Why? Let me tweak whatever, what you know, look at it, tweak my protocol, or oh, I just went through a really high level of stress, or I was detoxing and that threw it off. And then you make your adjustments and things come back into alignment, and that is so empowering. We also want to test T4, which is thyroxine, which your thyroid produces, T3, which is what T4 is converted into. T3 is your active thyroid hormone, and it's what's responsible for the great energy, the great mood, the great metabolism, great digestive transit time and daily bowel movements, good lymphatic draining, all kinds of things. Um, but your thyroid and metabolism are very connected. And if your thyroid's sluggish, your metabolism will be sluggish and you'll be frustrated with weight loss results. So TSH, T3, T4, I do the first time I work with clients, also like to test reverse T3, which helps with conversion of T4 to T3, because that can be off. And I like to test thyroid, proxidase antibodies and rule out any woman having Hashimoto's thyroiditis as well as Graves' disease, which is a thyroglobulin test. Most doctors will only test TSH, maybe T4 as well, if you're lucky. And if that's all that's being done, you're only getting like one sixth of the picture. And again, you can be in those normal ranges, but have a thyroid issue and have really low levels or too high of levels, and they'll just sometimes it'll be out of the normal range and they won't even look at it. They'll be like, oh, whatever, no big deal. So thyroid estradiol, sex hormone, progesterone, sex hormone, testosterone, DHEA, these are sex hormones, precursor hormones that are incredibly important for your mood, your focus, your ability to feel connected, motivated with yourself, your partner, your business, um, your energy levels, your fertility, your sex drive, all those kinds of things. And once we hit perimenopause, which starts between 35 and 37, the thyroid can start to go sluggish more easily. We can have more inflammation in the body due to sex hormones like progesterone and estrogen becoming more deficient. And we need enough progesterone and estrogen. They combat inflammation, they help with optimal mood, they help us circulate dopamine and serotonin, which help us feel calm and content and happy and joy. And so a lot of women are dealing with serious apathy, indifference, depression, flat, feeling flatlined. And it's because their thyroid's off, their cortisol's high, or their progesterone or estrogen, or all of the above are happening, are too low. And their doctor's just throwing on them an antidepressant, not even testing anything. And even if they do, they say, well, you're in you're close to menopause. So like there's nothing we can do. I'm like, no, like we can completely resolve this, or your PMDD that's making you feel like Jekyll and Hyde through half of your cycle. We can resolve it if we do the proper labs, if we understand the connection to your neurotransmitters that literally dictate your mood and how you feel, and we can completely get rid of that because women are literally leaving their husbands because all of a sudden they wake up one day and they feel nothing, albeit obviously work through if there's issues. But like I've talked to so many women that are like, yeah, I just am not feeling anything. And I'm like, Have you had your hormones tested? And they're like, no, and then they do, and it's like they're literally not producing any progesterone or estrogen. And I'm like, that's why all of a sudden you feel nothing before you make a big decision that you might regret. Like, why don't you build those levels up and let's see how you feel in three to six months? And then they're like, I'm so glad I didn't make any irrational decisions because my hormones are back and I feel the connection. And then I'm like, seriously, like your hormones can make you make really unrational decisions if they're

Hormones That Impact Mood And Desire

Amber Romaniuk 37:04

off.

Erin Gray 37:04

I'm laughing so hard because one, it's true. I experienced that too. And I'm just like, I would ask myself, and I'm like, no, don't get divorced. But there's something, right? There's something there. And I think that I don't know. You're in in your field, obviously. So it's like, I don't feel like maybe I'm not, it's not in my awareness or I'm not searching for it, but I don't feel like this is talked about a lot.

Amber Romaniuk 37:29

It's not true.

Erin Gray 37:29

And so you think something's wrong with you because you used to enjoy sex or have a you know higher sex drive and now you don't, or you're gaining weight, but you eat well and you like there's all these little things that our body is talking to us, but we don't know the kind of alerts to to pay attention to. So we don't even know that's where we need to go.

Amber Romaniuk 37:53

Yeah. No, totally, right? Because we haven't been educated at any point or equipped with any of this. And to be honest with you, even still a lot of people are not talking about the roots of your weight loss blocks, they're not talking about how low progesterone and estrogen can make you feel nothing or make you feel flatlined and disconnected. And the connection to neurotransmitters and its connection is oxytocin. And we need enough progesterone and estrogen to circulate oxytocin through the body. And what is oxytocin? Your connection neurotransmitter. And if you don't have enough of it circulating, you feel disconnected from yourself. So it's hard to build self-worth. You feel disconnected from your business, your intuition, source, your partner, your husband, your kid. Like literally, you don't feel it because there's a lack being circulated due to the lack of hormones. And we're not taught that. That's not mainstream information. Um, unless you talk to a really well-seasoned hormone expert that also understands neurotransmitters, they're just gonna be like, yeah, moody, you're moody, it's just part of this thing. And it's like, no, let's get really specific and understand low progesterone impacts all of our neurotransmitters. And this is how and why low progesterone gives, you know, can give you these insomnia and be awake three hours in the night. And it could just be low progesterone that is causing the weight gain because again, we need enough progesterone to help combat inflammation and low progesterone also gives us more sugar cravings. And because we're feeling less and we're feeling kind of flat, well, at some point you want a freaking dopamine high. So you go eat something, you go buy something because you want to feel something, and then it can fuel these compulsive behaviors. But because the a lot of it is not talked about or connected, it's either you're learning about your hormones or you're learning about emotional eating, but like they're both feeding each other, connecting

What To Test And Who To Trust

Amber Romaniuk 39:34

the two.

Erin Gray 39:34

What would you suggest someone starts with? Of like, okay, I'm feeling off. Oh, I know what I was gonna say. This is why I think it's so important to work with someone like Amber or a functional, somebody that's not medical, because again, God love them. And also, like, you know, it's a 15-minute conversation. Like, how can you even get in talk about your body and what you're feeling in 15 minutes in a checklist?

Amber Romaniuk 40:03

No.

Erin Gray 40:03

But what would you suggest if someone is listening and they're like, okay, I'm experiencing some of these things. I didn't even know that is related to that, and that connects to that. Where do you suggest people start of like, okay, learning about their body or about hormones, things of that sort, so that they can then seek the support that they need to support their body?

Amber Romaniuk 40:25

I think some of the first things are finding podcasts, people that you feel are really drawn to about their expertise and their education, that you start listening and learning. I think podcasts are a great resource for that because you're gonna tune into the energy rating way and go, this feels resonant for me or this doesn't. Right. So podcasts are great. Obviously, I think you know, there's some good resources on YouTube, but I think starting to shop around and find the right practitioner to work with because you can also self-educate. And this is what I would expect if I was myself going to find a practitioner because this is the level of support I give to my clients. When you're looking for the right practitioner, before they make any specific recommendation, supplementation, whatever it is, they should be ordering a full workup of labs, which should be at least 50 plus different tests, including your full thyroid panel, your sex and stress hormones, inflammatory markers, vitamins, minerals, cholesterol, electrolytes, like the full meal deal. And if something, you know, isn't there, then is it a Dutch test? Is it saliva testing? But there should be a very robust level of testing that is done up front as well, not just testing, but a thorough health assessment where you actually go through your health history, you talk about your relationship with food and your body, you talk about your self-worth, you talk about habits and behaviors, things like people pleasing, where are you on your priority list, the way you're eating? Are you eating enough? Not restriction, whatever that looks like, medications, supplements, and actually being able to assess your digestive health, your hormones, immune system, blood sugar, so that you can then, in correlation with reviewing your hormone labs, also understand how it's impacting your gut, your blood sugar, fueling cravings that are triggering emotional eating. If you're not emotionally eating, how the low progesterone is fueling people pleasing, right? Like I just think the assessment and the practitioner knowing your health history with reviewing the labs thoroughly is incredibly important. And that may take a few sessions. Like, I don't do that all in an hour with my clients because it's it would just be overwhelming anyway. And we're adopting habits and changes and you know, and it takes time. I think the other thing is that they're not just flipping through the pages with you in 10 minutes and going, yep, you have a thyroid issue, your cortisol is too high, progesterone is low, so you should take thyroid thing, cortisol, and get on some biodental hormones and like eat paleo. Like to me, that is not setting the client up for success. Okay, your cortisol's high. This is the optimal range. This is where you are. Now let's talk a little bit about the symptoms of that and why we suspect it's high. Now let's talk a little bit about some of the steps that we're gonna take, the first steps, and then the things that are gonna take more time. So we're gonna start with supporting your adrenals. We're gonna add in a tea that supports that, a couple of supplements. We're gonna get your sleep hygiene improved. And long term, what's gonna help your cortisol come down is healing your relationship with food and self-prioritization. But we'll start with these things and we'll chip away at the habits and behaviors that are gonna take more than a week to change, right? Oh, and then your thyroid's looking sluggish. So, oh, your cortisol. Let's talk about how your cortisol is impacting your thyroid and then how your thyroid's impacting your low progesterone. These are the, again, the symptoms, the little steps we're gonna start with, and then long-term, what we're gonna do, right? And then you add the layers as you go. Like, in my opinion, this is the way you set your client, your patient up with success. Um, not just give them a big pile of papers, a big bag of supplements, be like see in six months. You're just setting the person up for failure. So when you're shopping, ask like, what kind of testing do you do? How long do you work with somebody? Do you just review labs or are you going to explain to me what they mean and how it's making me feel and impacting me? Because I want my clients to understand that, right? So those are the things that I would look for as you're shopping for a practitioner. And yeah, someone that really is going to help you address the roots of whatever you're dealing with. And it may be more than one person, right? Like I personally help my clients with the gut and the blood sugar and the hormones and the behaviors and habits because it's just I went through it and it's easy for me to understand, but it's whatever feels right for you. So I hope that helps answer your question. I know it was long-winded, but it's important that you really find the person that's going to give you the quality and depth because then you feel like a failure when you get this huge protocol and you you're told to come back in six months and nothing, you don't feel better. You spent a bunch of money on testing and supplements, but there was no support and like checking in. And what really needed to be talked about was the chronic people pleasing, the self-abandonment, the burnout, where all of that came from. If you don't heal that, honestly, your supplement protocol is going to be quite the waste because your system's just going to stay stressed.

Patience, Compassion, And Closing

Erin Gray 44:59

Yeah. It's just like taking the medicine, but not actually doing here. We go back to root cause work. And I think so important is that you, what Amber said is like really being connected with the person that you work with. Like, so in like I chose someone intuitively. Someone suggested their partner. And it was just like it was a no. And I'm so, and I've had to see him because I kind of messed up my scheduling. And I saw him when she was on vacation, and I was like, absolutely not. I'm not coming back to him. I'll just wait until she comes back. And it's also what I think about is if you don't have someone that you connect with, how actually is your body going to respond to? Because that was a whole like awareness that I had. I was like, oh my gosh, how is my body actually, you know, doing muscle testing with him versus how it's doing with her when I feel connected, when I feel seen, when I feel heard? So it's so important to find someone that you connect with, that you vibe with, or whatever it is, so that you are supported and cared for throughout. It's not just like hey, I think this is what we've done, right? We we look at our body as this thing versus this true living, breathing consciousness that like it feels, right? And so being able to connect with a person and loving and you want it to be a fun experience too, right? Like this isn't a problem. Like, this is just your body's talking to you. It's things to work through, it's not a problem. We don't have to get through there really quickly and like just having so much love and compassion for yourself, for your body, for the effort that you're putting in, and your body will take care of itself. Like, that's what I always tell her. I'm like, my body knows exactly what to do. How do we need to support it? What do we need to do? But like, I don't think a lot of us have been taught or conditioned that our body knows exactly what to do.

Amber Romaniuk 46:49

Are we doing the things we need to do to support it to get to where optimally we don't trust our bodies, we think our bodies are up to get us and we need to rewire that. Yeah.

Erin Gray 46:57

Anything else that you want to add that maybe I have forgotten to ask or didn't ask?

Amber Romaniuk 47:02

I think you've already kind of said this, but be patient with the journey. It took you decades or years to get to this point where you are with her. It's going to take more than a week or a month to fully see a shift. You're gonna start to feel better. However, give yourself time to really be on your journey and get the results and get where you want to go because then you're gonna be equipped with the attunement, the knowledge, and the awareness for the rest of your life. And then it's just like little maintenance. Like if something goes off, you're like, oh, there's that. I'm gonna get my labs in again, or I'm gonna have a follow-up session, or I'm gonna tweak this thing. I already know what to do. And you know how freeing it is to just know and be tapped in. Like this is what you get to embody yourself and have for the rest of your life. So I think that and the last thing is gift yourself grace and compassion if you've been struggling with emotional eating or you have like a closet habit that you're is your secret that you're ashamed about. Like have compassion, you're not alone, you're not the only one, and you can fully heal it and be willing to go on a journey that's gonna bring so many magic and miracles and and you know, positive changes. It's really exciting.

Erin Gray 48:00

Yeah. I think too, is like what you're saying with the compassion. It's like if that was your friend, would you talk to her that way? If that was your sweet baby, would you talk to them that way? No, right? And so it's like, how can we be our biggest advocate and supporter and love on ourselves so much? Yeah, it's like we're the I mean, it'll make me cry. It's like we only got one body, it's the only one we got while we're here. So take care of it, love on it. You know, it's so intuitive and giving you all of the information that you need. Like love on it.

Amber Romaniuk 48:28

So yeah, she has your back every moment of the moment of every day.

Erin Gray 48:33

So good. Okay, thank you, Amber, for coming on. I appreciate you.

Amber Romaniuk 48:37

Thank you for having me.