200 | Money, Marriage and Business (with my husband, Jason Worff)

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Welcome back to the podcast for a very special milestone episode — EPISODE 200. 

In this real and unfiltered episode, I brought my husband Jason, on to dive deep into the realities of money, marriage, business, parenting, emotional growth, communication, and what success actually looks and feels like to us.

Together, we unpack:

• The hardest seasons of our marriage 
• Financial fears and money mindset struggles 
• Balancing entrepreneurship and family life 
• Communication differences between men and women 
• Emotional regulation and burnout 
• Redefining success, freedom, and fulfillment 
• Building a business together as a couple 
• Why success should not require sacrificing your relationships 

This episode is raw, vulnerable, funny, insightful, and deeply relatable for entrepreneurs, married couples, parents, and anyone trying to build a meaningful life without losing themselves in the process.

If you’ve ever felt overwhelmed by ambition, struggled with communication in your relationship, or questioned whether “success” is actually worth the cost, this conversation is for you.

Episode 200 is a reminder that wealth means more than money, and that true success includes peace, presence, freedom, health, and connection.

Thank you for being part of this journey and supporting 200 episodes of growth, conversation, and transformation.  I'm so grateful for you.

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Transcript

Episode 200 And Why It Matters

Erin Gray 0:00

Welcome back to the podcast. Today's episode is a really special one because today's episode is number 200. And I am so grateful for each of you that tune in every single week and share your time with me. I absolutely love being with you, sharing my thoughts, my ideas with you every week. And I think podcasting is so special because it's such an intimate thing that you are in someone's ear every week, and that person is getting to know you, to learn about you, to trust you. And so I understand and recognize that you can listen to anyone. So I just want to say thank you for listening every week and for paying with your time and your attention. I thought that it would be fun to celebrate the 200th episode by bringing my husband on, Jason. I thought that would be a lot of fun. He's definitely the guy that supports me behind the scenes and all of my crazy ideas. He typically is on board for all of them. And he definitely is one of the guys or people that is not necessarily as familiar or comfortable with being front and center and being on video. And so I'm just grateful that he came on to have fun with me to share all of his insights on me and on money and marriage and business. So in this podcast, we're going to talk about our money journey, how we have navigated it together, and how our perspectives have actually developed over time. We talk about business in general, what it looks like to build, to lead, to support each other, and to run a company together as a married couple. And also we discuss where there's still room for growth for both of us. And we dive into marriage, the highs, the lows, and like everything in between. And so my desire for you for this episode, as you listen, is to see that money and business and marriage can feel fun and it can feel easeful, not something that is stressful and divisive, and that you can truly create the life that you want based on what you actually desire and what your dreams and goals are for you and your family. So let's dive in. I'm so glad you're here. You ready to rock and roll?

Jason Worff 1:58

Yeah.

Marriage With A Particular Partner

Erin Gray 1:59

Okay, what's the hardest part about being married to me?

Jason Worff 2:02

I knew this question was coming up. I saw it on your notes. Um I would go with how I don't know if the it's the right, it's like strong-willed. I don't want to say it's your way or the highway, but sometimes it's Aaron's way or the highway. So yes, I would say that is the hardest. Like, do you think you you have you have your way of wanting to do things? And yes, you do take input on doing it those ways, but the car gets parked in a certain spot, or the car has to be facing away from the sun so it doesn't heat up. And I don't think it that much. I and it all makes sense after the game's played out, but it's like, but I can just park right. No, I don't want you to park right there. And and then I, you know, it that happened this weekend at wherever we were going to Target or wherever.

Erin Gray 2:58

But I think also, too, when you when you ask me where do you want me to park, I'm gonna tell you where I want you to park.

Jason Worff 3:05

But I don't think I'm am I no, because wherever you want to park is fine, and then well, that's not the right direction of the park. So we'll just go at it that way. Like if we're gonna stick to the parking because that's the safest thing here, you know, it's like you can park wherever you want to. Okay, cool. I'm just gonna park way out here. So, you know, not that we have to walk farther, but then you know, the school bus is easier to pull into right here. There's nobody around us. I can be protected, you know, by a curb and we don't get any door dings on the car and all that kind of stuff. And then nope, you got to face the other direction. That happened at volleyball. I mean, if if we're going down examples, and I have mad, I have what do they call it?

Erin Gray 3:44

Methods to my madness. Because it's typically always about how is the sun going to be, right?

Jason Worff 3:48

Yeah, it's per but and that's what I'm saying. So it's not any way that park wherever you want to is not it's park wherever you want to as long as it's okay with where my motions were. What do you want for dinner? I don't know, whatever you make. Well, as long as it's this thing that you're making. Hey, let's go for a hike today. Sure, you picked a hike spot. Well, I don't want to do that kind of hike, I just want to do a leisurely stroll hike. Well, am I allowed to take you on pavement? Can we go on hard pack gravel? Are we allowed to go uphill? You know, are there gonna be other people there? Is there shade? You know, all those things. Are there places for me to pee?

Erin Gray 4:26

Would you say that I'm very particular?

Jason Worff 4:28

Extremely particular. And maybe that's a better way to put it. It's not like set in your ways, it's particular. That's a cleaner way to say it. You're more particular, like their outfit is very expressive that we've discussed.

Erin Gray 4:42

I was

Clear Requests Beat Mind Reading

Erin Gray 4:43

gonna wait to go here, but we're already on that. What do you think that women wish that understood about men?

Jason Worff 4:48

So we've we've had this discussion. I had this discussion with somebody else too. Sometimes we just need to be told what to do. And well, because we don't want to be told what to do, but we do want to be told what to do. Okay, like we're not gonna be like, oh, I want to take the she's wearing the pants roll. But sometimes it's just like, you know, we're gonna go back to that, but just like just park right there facing away from the sun. Perfect. I'll do it. Easy. I gotcha. You can park wherever you want, just don't park facing the sun so it doesn't get too hot in here. Okay, perfect. I'll do exactly that. You know, like we we had this discussion about going and seeing Stormy, and you know, and then when I got with Stormy and we were talking, it was just like you were like, I'm not gonna make him the appointment. He's gotta put his big point pants on and make the appointment. Well, we both know that's not gonna happen. So just hey, I'm gonna make an appointment with Stormy. You get to pick, like what we talked about with my clients, you get to pick Monday, Wednesday, or Thursday. What day do you want to go see Stormy at 10 a.m.? Those are the three days she has opened. Just fine, we'll just do Wednesday. And then boom, here we are, several months later, every Tuesday, 10 a.m., going to see Stormy.

Erin Gray 5:56

I think that men have an innate desire to please their spouse or women.

Jason Worff 6:03

Yes.

Erin Gray 6:04

I think that women sometimes actually don't know what they want. So it actually makes it or feels confusing for men because like on the one hand, I know we joke, like you're like so particular, Erin, but I'm very clear in what I want and what I don't want. Like, I don't think that there's a lot of gray areas for me. I think I've gotten a lot better with like, no, I don't like that. And here's why I don't like that, or this is what I want, and here is why I want this. And and I think that this kind of comes back to like the whole feminist movement, which I'm not on board with, but I think we as women can say what we want from a very loving and wanting to be supported and nurtured place from our spouse. We don't have to come from the energy of an asshole or you're gonna do what I say. But I think as women, if we are more assertive and we just say, this is what I want, this is why I want it, I think it clears up so many miscommunications or things that arguments that could occur in the relationship because women, him and ha, most of the time, I don't say most of the time, but sometimes, right? Versus just being very direct and saying exactly what we want.

Jason Worff 7:09

Well, I I always think of like, cause all the little shorts or whatever, the little YouTube things that I watch, and they're always they always default to like, what do you want to eat? I'm hungry, feed me. Okay, what do you want to eat? And you list off a bunch of things. And if you were just say, I want Chick-fil-A fries, take me there. Boom, take you there, done. So, like the hemming and the hong, I don't know what I want to eat. Well, how about we just get you something until you can figure out the further down the road of what you want? How do we fix, you know, because I don't know, do guys, I know I do, just want to solve problems, want to make the situation a little bit better, like what we talked about yesterday when you were like, I want to have a long-term game plan of an accomplishment of something in the physical, whether it's hiking something or riding something or whatever it is. And I'm like, okay, what if you do this, this, this, and this? And you're like, I didn't want all that. I just wanted to tell you something, but then you have to come out and it's like, I think my brain, and I'm not gonna speak for all the guys, but my brain is wired to, okay, this is what she wants to do. Let me go solve it. Like when we went to the plant store yesterday, you were like, I want the hydrangea trees and I want some peonies, and oh, okay. So I went and talked to the neighbor lady. Hey, are these gonna work in our yard for our sun, for our sun exposure and all those things? Yes, okay, fine. I'll get the truck emptied out today and I'll go get you those things because that's what you asked for, so on and so forth.

Erin Gray 8:34

So yeah, I think that the this goes back to like a deeper level of communication because I didn't say to you, hey, I'm in the beginning stages of a challenge for my body. I just want to brainstorm with you. And so I wasn't more clear on the front end with you because you are correct. I think a lot of times men want to problem solve. I mean, I know my dad always did that for my mom. And then my mom would be like, I just want you to listen to me. And it's like, I don't think innately, biologically, men actually just want to listen. I think they want to serve and please and help and support their spouses, which is actually a very natural thing to do. I think as we as women, we can be more clear and we can say, like I should have said when we were sitting out on the patio last night, hey, I'm in the very beginning stages. I just want to brainstorm right now. I don't want to problem solve or like figure out what I want to do. Or maybe that's even something I just should have kept to myself and been like, hey, Aaron, let this percolate for a little bit and then share it. And I also think, like going back to human design, if 70% of us are sacral beings where we are yes or no, when you ask me what do I want for dinner, I'm like the deer in the headlights versus understanding what your human design is and also moving from that place of like, but if you ask me, do you want Thai food, I will sell you yes or no. Do you want specific, if you give me specific things that I can say yes or no to, then that is where. And I think a lot of us don't know our human design and we don't know how we make decisions. So we think we're being helpful by saying a blanket, like, what do you want for dinner? But for most of us, we're like, uh, but if you're like, you want McDonald's, which we don't eat McDonald's, but you know what I mean? Like, you want McDonald's? No. You want Thai food? Yes. You want Mexican? No. You know what I mean? So it's like that, I think going to this deeper level of communication of like, how does your spouse actually need to be heard? How does the conversation like, you know what I mean? Like versus I'm trying to help you. And I think both parties at the end of the day, both parties want to please their spouse. It's just sometimes we don't know how to communicate effectively and be more direct and to like, I think so often we don't even know what our own wants are. So we're trying to have somebody else figure out and help us, and we don't even know what our own wants are, right? So starting with us individually, whether you're a man or a woman, of like, what do you actually want and being very clear because I think that's something that you and I've had to work on is me saying exactly how I feel and allowing you to have your own feelings with that.

Jason Worff 11:07

And if you were to just say, hey, will you get me this? It would occur. But I know that's not how the communication part works for human site. Just tell me what you want and I will achieve it. Just and that's why I used that plant example. You said you want this one, this one, you took pictures of it, so it's in my phone. Boom. Yep, it'll be here next week. There you go. Problem solved.

The Newborn Season And Burnout

Erin Gray 11:30

What season of marriage do you think stretched us the most and why?

Jason Worff 11:34

I don't know what you mean by season of marriage.

Erin Gray 11:36

Or like when maybe when Grayson was littler, or like different, if you can think about different parts of our marriage, of I say seasons, like maybe specific months or years that we have as we've evolved and grown closer together, were there any, was there or is there anything that comes to mind for you that you feel like was some working through for us to then get to where we are now?

Jason Worff 12:04

Uh I think definitely when Grayson was a newborn, that all went on to you. And I just said, okay, I just have to work and make money, and then all the problems would be solved. I mean, I didn't know it was our first kid, obviously, or only. So it's like, I go work, bring home money, you raise baby and work and clean, and you were doing all, and we had these discussions. You're like, you know, I was doing this and this and this and this and this, and I was like, oh my gosh, because I was out of the house. I would, and the only thing you ever sent me was, okay, you're, you know, sometimes you would send me a text message like I'm having a hard day, or Grayson spit up, or whatever it happened to be. You know, there were just things like that, but it wasn't like you never expressed to me that that I can remember, at least you probably do remember that you were overwhelmed or the boat was sinking, all those other things. So I, at least in my mind, that was hard because then when we called on our support system, there was nobody to. I remember trying to call and be like, hey, can you come over? Just watch Grayson for a couple hours, let you know, let Erin do whatever she needs to do, just not have a hundred percent attention, and then was like, yeah, I got something else going on. So there were all those little stories that we had. I know that was tough. I know it was hard on me when I was going through some career changes. That was just like quiet time for me, where I don't think I was being a husband, I was being a dad, I wasn't being a friend, whatever you want to call it. I know I kind of had checked out is the best way to say it. Because like in the in the earlier, like I go work, make money, and then it's like, okay, I'm going through some career changes now, trying to figure out what I want to do next. And it's like, what do I do? How do I provide and do that part? So those were the challenges. Uh, and I don't know if you have a follow-up question for like where it's really blossomed for us or whatever you want to say, but I definitely think you and me working for a common goal and be that with my company now, you're just like, I think that's been a lot of fun, shared times. It's not like, okay, let's cook together, or let's go for a walk together, or go for a bike ride, or go ride the chairlift and go ski together and do all that kind of fun stuff. Where it's like, oh no, let's, you know, let you, let Aaron teach me QuickBooks. Let me show you how to do SEO stuff and like watching me grow as the business partner with you and all those things, like, oh my gosh, like this has been a lot of fun. And it's a different shared experience than you know, our normal outside outdoor activity lifestyle experiences.

Erin Gray 14:48

I think also, too, that back when Grayson was little, which was what, 14 years ago, we were very different people. And I know for myself, I was not emotionally regulated. So everything felt like like running, you know, the family business. And then I also was like helping my grandfather with all of his trust and estate planning stuff. And then I had a newborn that I was taking care of all the time, which you don't know until you do, right? And then relationship stuff with you. And I think not having the tools that we have now, like I always think about, and everything happened perfectly just as it should to be where we are now. So it's never like feeling a regret or feeling like, oh, I wish it was different. But I am always curious, like, what would it have been like had I been more regulated? Had I had done some of this work that I've done over the last seven years, if I had done that before we had Grayson, so that, you know what, everything didn't always feel like this mountain that I was having to take care of or to solve or all of those things. So I think when you're in that state of survival of what I call it, right? Like that fight or flight, and you are just like trying to put one foot in front of the other, any little thing feels like a really big thing because number one, your nervous system is at that state on a consistent basis. And two, you don't have the tools to process emotions and to work through things and to, you know, I think we've always been a good team and I've always seen you as a partner. But I definitely think back then there were times where I felt very alone because, like you said, like I think the biological of the man is like, okay, I think I'm doing well because I'm going out and I'm providing for my family. And from the woman's point of view, it's like, I just want 10 minutes by myself where I can just not receive phone calls from employees, not have a baby wanting to nurse, not having my grandfather call me about questions about his estate. And that is a feeling which comes from, you know, our thinking, but like this feeling of aloneness of like nobody gets me, nobody understands what I'm going through versus if I would have had tools like going to store me with emotional release therapy, EFT, the tapping, the journaling, the just giving yourself more space in the day to not have everything so jam-packed. What would it have been like? You know, who knows? But I just think that all of those things could exist right now. And I think we would handle them very differently. So I want listeners to know that it's not the circumstances that what is creates all of the feelings within you. It's like, what is your actual state of being and how do you feel on a consistent basis is what's creating all of what you're experiencing in the out in the outside world.

Jason Worff 17:31

And I also think, like, because you brought it up, being aware of like what your spouse might need and not being able, like, I've always like, you know, been up on myself or been proud of myself because like you can see, like, okay, that's a situation over there that needs to be taken care of, that needs to be taken care of over there. But then you're coming home and you're not like, you know, maybe my wife, you know, needs to go out in the car by herself and just escape the house. And and of course I gave that to you, but it was you, I think you had to ask for it, or you know, because I thought in my brain, I had to be at work, or else I was gonna get in trouble at work, like, oh, you got to be there, you know, Monday through Saturday, seven to seven, you know, work your 12-hour days six days a week, and provide in that sense, but then you forget that there's other people at home. And, you know, when you work with similar-minded males, yeah, where everybody's in that same position. Like, how many of us at work had newborns, babies, toddlers, kids that needed the spousal help? And your boss is the same way because that's the way he raised his family. And then the one guy above you, that's the way, and it's just like, oh no, no, your wife stays home, she takes care of the kids, and that's her problem. You're here at work, and these are all your problems at work. And then when you get home, you gotta sort that out and figure that out. So being aware that, like, hey, no, no, no, the the home life should be coming first because that's who is gonna be there, you know, in in the 20 years if you want to retire from that, or you know, in the 10 years because you wanted to do a little life change and you didn't want to be inside anymore, whatever it happens to be. But your spouse and your family are the ones that are gonna be there. And did you somewhat neglect them, you know, or put them on a different tier because you thought work had to come first?

Erin Gray 19:26

Yeah, I also think I had very different feelings around money back then, too. I mean, obviously I wasn't emotionally regulated, and my fear around not having enough money, even though we did. I remember I was leaning over Grayson's crib, and you asked me, Do you want me to take like a leave of absence? And my first thought was, how are we going to continue to save and how are we gonna continue to meet our goals? And like, it wasn't like, oh, like now, if that were the case, it'd be like, we'll just figure it out. We'll just figure out how to make more money later or whatever the case might be. But back then it was just like a terrifying, like, yes, I wanted you to, and like, how's that gonna work financially? Like, that is where my brain went immediately. And I think that that clouded so many of my decisions back then around working and being off and doing all of the things because I was constantly so fixated on money, I was confused, confusing that with safety and security.

Redefining Success Beyond Money

Erin Gray 20:25

What have we learned about money, success, and what actually matters? This kind of ties into what we were just talking about.

Jason Worff 20:30

I mean, I think we, yeah, it is ex like what we were just talking about. I think you can say that. So I I'm I'm going down the route of does making money mean you're successful? And on one hand, yes, like if you're a business owner, you know, you you have to say, yes, things are paying for themselves now. We're no longer doing owner contributions, as we would have put into the QuickBooks, you know. And like, so it is nice that the that it's not necessarily self-supportive, but it's getting closer and closer to being self-supporting. So, yes, to me, that is successful, but also me being having the freedom right now is feeling very successful. Getting another client is feels successful, and not in terms of, oh, that's going to be more money, but like there's the okay, this is working. This is like what we always talk about with the train or the plane taking off. Like we are moving down the runway now, you know, we're doing good. So the money part successful, but also the tying it back to being at home and being being more present. And I don't know if I'm if I've strayed off the question too much, but I feel like today you were like, hey, let's, you know, because we were trying to fit into both of our schedules, and it wasn't because we were both doing things, it was like there were other household things that we were doing. The weather was nice. So we're like, oh, let's go to These farmers' markets, and there are all these other things that we were skipping on doing this episode. But it's like, okay, yeah, if I was in a different position, I wouldn't be able to do the Zoom call with you because I'd be tied into something at work. Or, but you know, having more freedom, I think, gives you successful. So repeat the question so I know because I think I've strayed off way too far.

Erin Gray 22:20

No, what have we learned about money, success, and what actually matters? Like, I think we have redefined. Yeah, yeah. I'm like, you're not straight off.

Jason Worff 22:28

Is opening up that time in your schedule to be able to do things and being like not set, well, not six days a week, 12 hour days. There is a machismo effect of like working that grind and doing that. That when I guess when you're younger and single, that sounds good. But to me, it's like, no, I can go take my daughter to school in the morning, and I'm not feeling rushed and you know, florined out of the school parking lot because I got to get to work by a certain time. So that does feel, I don't know if it necessarily feels successful, but it's definitely given me a better priority to say, okay, this feels more is congruent to the word. This feels more congruent with the lifestyle I want to live. I don't want to be rushing around like we always say, we see people on the road. Everybody's rushing to get to work. Everybody's rushing, rushing, rushing, rushing, rushing. It's like, nope, take some time. Like you've taught me, sit down and eat your lunch. Don't eat your lunch, you know, hovered over the hood of a car with partially clean hands, which is what I did for whatever many years. You know, no, sit down, eat your lunch, even if it's just on the curb or sitting down in a cooler, you can sit down and eat your lunch. You don't have to be working while trying to inhale a burrito or whatever it happens to be.

Erin Gray 23:44

I think for me, the way I used to think about success was how much money did you have? Or how like successful was a business. And now what I have modified it to is those things are important, right? Like it's fun to have money. It's fun to be able to go do the things that we've been able to do. Like we would not have been able to take the time off that we did if we didn't have the money that we had. So to say that money doesn't matter, it absolutely matters. At least in my world, it absolutely matters. And what also matters is what you're saying is to be present is what is the relationship like with yourself, with your body, with your spouse, with your child, with your parents, like all of your like those most important relationships. Like I know plenty of people that have so much money they will never be able to spend it in their entire lifetime, nor would their grandchildren be able to spend it, but they don't have the relationships, right? And so it's like it's a both and for me of like to have the money, to have the business, to have the relationships, to have the healthy body, to feel calm, to feel present, to feel confident, to feel at ease, to love yourself. Like it sounds cliche, but it's like that whole package. Like success, I think for so long, because of who I was around and maybe my role models was like success was just this piece, right? It was just money and business versus like, I want all of that. And I want all of it with ease. Not that it's not going to take effort, but the the feeling of having things like what you're saying, of like, we can have our business, we can have all of these things, and we can still wake up at when we want to wake up. We don't need to be waking up at five o'clock in the morning and hitting the gym and like hurry up and take your kid to school so you can drop them off to go do the next thing, you know? And so I think for me, of like redefining what success means, it's like it's a double, right? It's like I already am no matter what happens, right? Like no matter what happens in the world, no matter what 3D circumstance happens, like I already feel successful and love for myself and all of those external things are great as long as they are, I'm not the word that comes to mind is sacrifice. Like I I used to believe in order to feel or be successful, you had to sacrifice family time in order to have the money, right? Versus I'm gonna have all the money and I'm gonna have my family time and I'm gonna have my alone time and I'm gonna take care of my body and all of those things too.

Jason Worff 26:07

I think that's a good point. When you say the success doesn't have to, and I think that would sum up every the way I would feel the success doesn't have to equal a sacrifice because the 20 to 40 year old me definitely sacrificed time and whatever else, whatever other sacrifices you make, but they were a sacrifice for money. Yeah, that's how you made money. You left the house, you went and you worked for somebody else, and you gave them your time, and they gave you money. What and it doesn't have to be necessarily family life, it could just be whatever hobby you like to pursue. You know, I like to ride my bike, so I sacrificed riding my bike all last year, you know. So I went from riding every day to barely even riding on the weekends because I wanted to give my time to somebody else that would give me money in exchange for physical labor. I mean, that's as easy as it was. So so yeah, money doesn't mean you have to sacrifice for it.

Erin Gray 27:11

Yeah, for sure.

Jason Worff 27:12

And even if you enjoy what you do, you'd be like, Well, I'm not sacrificing, I really enjoy what I do. You're still giving up something to do that something because I've always really enjoyed what I did through all the different endeavors in my life. I've really always enjoyed it, but I'm still not with you. Missing out on, you know, a volleyball game for Grayson, missing out on, you know, dinner time with you guys, whatever it happens to be. There was always something in exchange. So maybe it's not a sacrifice, you know, but you're giving an exchange of time for the money and that time can be spent with somebody else.

Erin Gray 27:48

Yeah. And I think us going from that employee standpoint to then business standpoint, you know, really I think has changed a lot of things, like where you recognize like there is not money is created created through value. It's not created through time and hours spent. And I think that even though we that that you have liked what you have done, I think it comes back to the sovereignty and authority, maybe of like sometimes because we have taken off so much time to be with our with our daughter and with our family. And now we're in the season like, okay, let's go create more money now. And we're creating something that is legacy building. And so I think that now we come at it from the place of like we don't have to, we're choosing to. And when you come from it from that place, like, oh, okay, I'm choosing to maybe not go to her practice because what I mean, but I'm choosing to spend that time to work on my business. That feels very empowering versus I have to do this thing and I can't go see her practice or something like that. And I think it's a it's a mindset shift that we have also done in terms of now we're choosing what we want to do and we're being very intentional with our time versus somebody's telling me this is what I have to do. And so we think that that's, you know, and I think also, too, like when you've had success from saving and investing your money through the traditional working for somebody else route, you have so much evidence that sacrificing and working hard does get you there versus now what we are looking at is okay, we don't want to sacrifice anymore. We want to create assets that pay us indefinitely. And that is something that we're putting in the time and the effort now so that we can reap the benefits, you know, down the road versus okay, I'm just gonna save enough to finally get to a place where I can actually use this money.

How We Grow Through Partnership

Erin Gray 29:43

Tell me how has being with me challenged you to grow?

Jason Worff 29:46

I get nervous when you look down because I I know you're reading your screen, your your phone screen. I'm like, oh no, new question. Um, how has being with you challenged me to grow?

Erin Gray 29:59

Yeah.

Jason Worff 30:00

It it like it indefinitely, because there's a comfort zone that you can just settle into. There's a comfort zone of I'm gonna go back to work, comfort zone of coming home from work and sitting on front of the TV with a drink, whatever it happens to be, and and watching TV and doing something of that sort. But it's like, no, we like to cook. So now you gotta be, okay, we're not gonna be able to sit in front of the TV. We're gonna have to make something, make some food. We're gonna have to do something of that. So the pushing you outside of your comfort limits. I was just using that as the comfort thing. I I definitely feel like pushing you past. What would I have started my own business if it wasn't for you? Probably not. Really?

Erin Gray 30:49

You think so?

Jason Worff 30:49

Yeah. If I did, it wouldn't have been successful. Like I would own a truck and some chainsaws and be like, um, I'm a I'm I'm a business owner. Look at me. And it's like, do you have insurance? You know, are you licensed? Like all those little things that you brought into it. You know, are you doing your books? What books? You know, like we joked about like the accountant having the or the business owner having a shoebox of receipts. It's like, you know, like how are you marketing yourself? Are you advertising? There's so many things that you have brought to my attention of this is actually what it takes. You know, you can't just have generic insurance. You have to have very specific things and make sure you have the very specific things for whatever hazard you're going forth with. Do you just say, oh, I have my vehicle insurance and that's fine enough? Like, oh no, but you have to have commercial vehicles, like, there's all these different things that you've brought to the table. And I'm like, oh man, I really didn't know that that stuff existed. Then there's the challenges. There's definitely a personal growth that's occurred, and I'm hesitating because I'm trying to get the right word for it. I think like intellectually, you've caused me to grow. Emotionally, you've caused me to grow. And being aware that it's just not, I know I think a lot of what we're talking about is through for work things, and obviously that's very appropriate for you know your podcast, but being aware of my emotions, the things that I say, the the calmness that you've brought out in me. There's all these different things that you've done over the years that have taught me, okay, you know, sit back, take 30 seconds to process what just occurred, and then react. You know, be it five seconds even, and then react based upon that. Don't just go do something, stop, think, proceed. Then all just all the things that you've taught me, you know, you know, business-wise is what I mean by all the things that you've taught me of what it takes to run a business. Is I'm not gonna go down all the specifics because there's there's so many, but insurance and marketing and SEO stuff, all that. So website building, you know, having having a specific phone number for your business, you know, as opposed to your own personal cell phone number, you know, all those neat little things. And uh, I'm gonna add also that no one else is gonna do it. You gotta do it yourself. Yes. So that that's a very big one because when you're not the only person, when you're not the owner, you can be like, oh, somebody else has already done that or already figured it out or will end up doing that. But when you are the owner or the only person, it's like, oh, that somebody is now you, or in our case, also you. I'm pointing at you, Aaron, in the picture or in the video. So it's either gonna be me or her that does it.

Erin Gray 34:07

And if she doesn't have time to do it, this guy's gonna do it over here, or what you know, what you're talking about business-wise, like you're just talking about some of the stuff with business, or are you saying in general, like in our relationship and stuff?

Jason Worff 34:19

Well, it I think I think it rolls down to that as well. Like you you can say it that that's actually really good because on the business side, if I don't go to T-Mobile or whoever we use and get the second line added so that I have my own local area code for the business, then you're gonna have to do it. Okay, so on the personal side, if I don't make dinner, then you're gonna have to make dinner. I know we go back to food a lot with our conversation, but if I don't make dinner, you have to make dinner. If I don't start the dishwasher at night, then you're gonna have to start the dishwasher. Whatever it happens to be, it's there's gotta be that remembrance of, oh, if I do it, that's less than she has to do.

Erin Gray 35:03

You know, yeah, and not an over-responsibility, because I think that's one of the things that I have done. I think we both do it in our own right in different ways that we're learning about that. But I think just as partnerships, as husband and wife, wanting to make the other partner's experience be as simple and easy as it can be, and also not over what I call over-responsibilitying, like, but not overdoing all the things where there's not growth for you or there's not growth for me. And I think one of the things like we just experience, one of the things that we we are having to do is like what you said, is take some time to pause because it's in the, it's in the awareness. And many times the awareness happens after the fact, after the phone call has already happened, after you've already done all of these things that you're like, oh wait, hang on a second. I I need to be different here. I'm going off of that same pattern that I have been. How do I actually want to be? How do I want to feel? How do I want to move forward? And a lot of times what I think people don't realize is awareness happens after the phone call, after you've already done the thing, after you're like frustrated and all of the stuff. And then you're like, oh, wait, hang on a second. And it's in those moments that we are willing to experience that, then we get to ask the question, okay, so what is the growth? Right? We just, you and I just experienced this as parents. And it was like, okay, wait, where is the growth here? The simple thing, and I think for a lot of us overachievers or high achieving people, the simple thing is to just go do the thing because that's that's what we have done, that's what we do. It feels easy, it feels simple. We'll just take care of it. And the growth is actually, but where does that person actually have to meet us halfway? Where does that person or our children or our spouse or you know, in business? Like the growth sometimes is not doing, right? Letting, letting go of control, letting go of trying to do all the things, resting more. So yeah, I think I think the awareness happens after the fact. And too, I think the amazing thing about relationships are we get to experience ourselves in those other people, right? So when you are experiencing something, I get to see the contrast or I get to see where am I experiencing this through your lens and how can I shift? Where is my growth here? And we get to do that through having relationships, which I think is beautiful, versus thinking like, uh, my spouse is annoying me so much, versus, oh, where's the growth for them and where's the growth for me? Um, a

What We’re Most Proud Of

Erin Gray 37:39

couple more. Okay, so when have you felt most proud of us?

Jason Worff 37:44

I pause not to think about, or I pause to think about a specific one. Because there's a lot of stuff that we've done where I'm like, holy smokes, like what are your top five? Top five that would have never occurred. The travel and the places we've been through travel just amaze me. Like, I look back at it and I'm like, holy smokes, we have gone so many places for such long periods of time. It's not like, oh yeah, we were, you know, bouncing here, bouncing there, and doing all these things. Like, oh no, we went to here for this many months and here for this many months, and navigated foreign countries with rental cars, and like, you know, it's like there's just really interesting things. We're like, man, that's pretty cool. While bringing a child, not a baby, but while bringing a child, like, yeah, I know there were some places that was more resorty places we traveled when she was much smaller. So yeah, like I'm like, boom, that's that's pretty darn cool. Like, that's a neat, neat story. I think also relocating us as a family has been really neat. I mean, how many people do you do you know, do you meet that are like, oh yeah, I've lived within the same, you know, 10 mile radius of where they were born. You know, I have my sisters are examples of that. And so relocating three different states, you know, on our own and just figuring out how to do it, you mostly figuring out how to do it. This guy just kind of following along. I'm really proud of what we've created in the last, what is it, six months business-wise for me. We created it. Yes, I can say my business-wise, but yes, you are the creator of it. I just am the implementer of it. And I know you say you like to do that. Like you get the vision, and then somebody else has to implement it. Like, yeah, there's a good looking this way because my truck's parked in on the street, you know. Like, that's pretty darn neat. I'm really, really proud of that. When we send out my marketing material, I'm really, really proud of that. Like, that's our little, we call it our our little baby, our new little baby, you know, that we're growing and we're we're building up. So really proud of where we've become as parents. That's pretty, I'm really, really proud where we've come from for our relationship with each other. We're not just a husband and wife. We're like, we truly are, I think, best friends. Yes. I don't know if that's how you would term it. Yes. I know, absolutely, but we we've called it something else in in the past. Instead of like the best friends, it's like your little, your, your chosen soul, or there was some little cutesy little thing we called it. I don't want to go hang out with the boys, I want to hang out with my wife. Like, that's so much more fun for me. And then just not like, oh man, what are we gonna do for the next 10 years? It's like, oh man, what are we gonna do for the next 10 years? Like this, there's gonna be some weird, crazy things that are gonna occur, probably. Like, it's fun. It I'm I'm really, really proud of where we've developed as a relationship and how we tackle things as like it's not, it's I I don't sometimes like there there could be like a not necessarily between me and you, but there there could be a married couple, like it's you versus me, as opposed to like with a situation like, oh, it's it's him versus her as a situation as opposed to them versus the problem or whatever the situation is. Like, well, we just you know, it's like, oh, how do we solve this problem as opposed to what are you gonna do to fix this or whatever it happens to be?

Erin Gray 41:10

Yeah. I think we look at things very much so as like we're a team, like I always say, like, and you always say this about us like we make a really good team, like we are a really good team. And I know you joke about like, well, I have the vision and I have the creator, and then you implement, but I think that that's where you really love to be. And I really love to be in the imagination and the creation of things, and you like to physically like do the thing, right? Like I'm gonna be the one that's like, I want to have hydrangea trees, and you're gonna be like, I'm gonna go get them, right? And I'm gonna plant them for you. Or like, I have this about you know our business, and then here you go implement it and you love that. And so I think that we both have skill sets that offset or impl or complement the other, you know, like it it wouldn't really work so well if we had two creators. Uh, you are creative, I don't want to say that you are very creative and you're very imaginative, but I I think I am definitely the one that's like vision casting 10 years down the road, and then you get to like give me feedback and but then you go do the thing. Like it wouldn't, it wouldn't work if we had two of me that were always visioning, but not actually doing the thing, you know.

Jason Worff 42:18

I'm looking at my mailers here and I'm like, okay, you're the one who's I don't want to say so proud of yourself, but yeah, you did that in the bed, playing on your phone, created a new mailer and had a 97% done product. And then I called to our staples rep and I said, Okay, this is what we got. Forwarded her the things we went back and forth a few times, boom, a box gets delivered by the UPS man. Okay, now what? Okay, now they got to be sorted, all the direct mail things and then brought to the post office. So all your creation was just which I don't want to sit there and try to create a new thing, but I can certainly implement that going forward. So there was just one really good example of that. You use the hydrangeas, but it's like I'll use the mailers, is like, oh, there we go, boom, done, you know.

Erin Gray 43:04

And I think the other thing too that I'm most proud, and this will make me cry. I think that we have created a life that we have wanted and we have changed every, at least for me on my end, I've changed every single dynamic of how I grew up. My marriage is vastly different than what I had an example of. And I and I am so grateful to my parents because I had that contrast, right? But like my marriage is because it is, because of the work that we put into it and the effort. And also I had a contrast of like, okay, what do I want and what do I don't want? Our relationship with our businesses are vastly different because of having contrast with people, you know, how we parent. We are as friends and lovers and partners in like all areas of our life. Like we are, like, I feel like. Every little area of my life, I have taken all of those nuggets from them, from my parents, from my experiences, and then tweaked it to how I wanted to have a life that I absolutely am in love with, that I never want to retire from. That, you know, when you say like the next 10 years, I'm like, man, I can't even imagine like all of the goodness that's gonna continue to, you know, like we we look forward to where we're going. It's not like, oh gosh, look at all that fun that we did have, but what's not smoked about the future and what's next, you know? And my relationship with our daughter and just all of it. Like, I really feel like I have re kind of like gone back through the video game and re-rehashed it or replayed the game to create how I wanted to have a life.

Legacy Building Through Self Investment

Erin Gray 44:51

Okay, so this kind of already like sums up what you have said. Like, what this is more legacy, because I think that we can sometimes be so in the minutia of business or partnerships or parenting. But it's like, what do you feel like that we are creating, like legacy building? Like, what are we really building in your eyes?

Jason Worff 45:13

So, what what I like to think about is you and I are creating an example for at least for our daughter. And uh, because you you obviously you you go out there to a lot more business people than I go out there, but I am talking to more business owners now, you know, more tradespeople. But for the most part, my example setting down towards our daughter would be having a business is really, really nice as opposed to working for somebody. And I and I don't want to say either way, because some people might want to just be like, you know what, it is nice just to work my eight to five and come home and not have to worry about anything. But I think at least for me and my work ethic and everything that I've ever contributed to employers has always been like they really do miss me when I'm gone because of the effort that I put in, because of the just of just me being a little bit extra. And, you know, when when we were thinking about doing this for me or for us, but you know, there was like we're we're over here building someone else's dreams.

Erin Gray 46:19

Yeah.

Jason Worff 46:19

And what are we doing to build our dreams based on that? So what kind of legacy do I want to do? What do I want to leave for our daughter? Is there is something, you know, and my dad had his own businesses. I think I was maybe a little bit too young, maybe a little bit too, I want to go out and drive cars and have fun with my buddies and stuff like that, that I didn't pay enough attention to it. But there was definitely something like, huh, interesting that that didn't my parents ever talk to me about, hey, do you want to do this kind of business for yourself? You want to pay attention to him? And maybe I was too young to to have picked up on a lot of that. And I wasn't too young, I was our daughter's age. But there was never that conversation of, hey, you could do this or you could go work for somebody, like make that decision for yourself. It was no go to college and then go work for somebody, and that's just the role I took, or the the route I took, rather. So definitely there's other options than just going to work for somebody, or at least having that dream to say, you know, I am gonna go work for somebody, but I do want to go work for myself one day. I want to figure out what I want to do, and also that it doesn't have to be an eternity thing. You know, it doesn't have to be 25, 30 years to retirement. Maybe it is something that, you know, you do this for a few years, you do this for a few years, you do this for a few years, and you take all that, you meld together, which I think is where I am. You took all those experiences, you meld them together, and be like, okay, now it's my turn. I'm gonna do this for my for myself.

Erin Gray 47:56

And I think too, the way that we've been brought up, right, as a society is like going and working for somebody else versus, and then that, you know, you're saving and this retirement thing, which I don't even believe in anymore, but like this retirement thing of, you know, you say for 20 plus 30 years versus we are the asset, like we are our retirement and putting all of your the investment in yourself, in your mind, in your skill set so that you can have a business that can, you know, have cash flow that you can then have people work for with you, you know, and that that is legacy building. That to me is like betting on yourself, you know, above, which is the rate of return is so much better than any stock or whatever investment that we've been told to invest in, like our mind, our skill sets, what we are creating, like that will pay dividends for years to come versus depending on whatever the stock market does or whatever that might be.

Bet On Yourself And Start Today

Erin Gray 48:59

Any last imparting words that you want to, I don't know, either from a marriage place, a money, or business, and it could be and all three of those that you want to give to the listeners what you've learned or things to think about, ponder, lasting words.

Jason Worff 49:14

Well, I wanted to go back to, and maybe this is part of this question and part of the the earlier question, but it's like, I think that the betting on yourself is a good uh motto, a good slogan to go with. You know, bet on yourself. Are you are you building your dream? That that's that's because that was the previous statement I made. Are you building your dream or are you building somebody else's dream? I know that I contributed a lot in building someone else's dream. And then when you decide to build your own, that there was a lot of anger involved with that, which was very not on my side, which it was was very like, hey, I want to do my thing, I want to build my dream.

Erin Gray 50:01

And I'm you're saying someone else felt anger, like previous employers felt anger when you wanted to leave. Yeah, because you're so good, you're so amazing.

Jason Worff 50:10

As opposed to so, like, like the parting, the parting wisdom is you're probably gonna ruffle some feathers. You want to build your dream. So for you to be a happier person, somebody else might take it offensively, but temporarily, yeah.

Erin Gray 50:28

And that's okay.

Jason Worff 50:29

And yeah, like it, and it's and it's really nothing that you did. For sure. That's all in them, other than everything that you did, everything that you did, you know, and now they're like, oh man, we're losing you, but why can't you just be in celebration of that? So I I know I'm I'm going off a different tangent there, but build your dream, have fun doing it. And I I think it's the working every day to say, you know, and and and I I I use it because you know, it's like, what did you do today to build your dream a little bit more? Like the little micro jobs, if you will. It's like, okay, there might not have been, you know, the full-fledged work work today, but I did this, this, and this, or just this, and that moved me one rung higher on that ladder or one more cog down the road of moving forward.

Erin Gray 51:25

Yeah. I think, you know, like what they say, like, when's the best time to plant a tree? Yesterday. Okay, when's the next best time today? It's like the time is gonna pass regardless. So why aren't you building something that you love, that you never have to retire from, that you wake up every day excited to do it, and that you are able to grow in the process of it, along with, I think obviously we got to be doing all the emotional and the nervous system regulation work because like just building what you want to build and still feeling how you felt before doesn't feel any different. So it's those marriage and combination of those two things. But I mean, I don't think I've ever heard anybody say that went into entrepreneurship, maybe I haven't talked to them, but you know, like, hey, I wish I would have still stayed at my job. Like, even in those hardest, darkest hours, at least you're doing it for yourself. You're doing it for your family, you're doing it for the people that you serve. You're not doing it for somebody else's empire. And I think more of us need to, I have full body chills, more of us need to bet on ourselves, believe in ourselves, and like go all in on us because we are the most important asset.

Jason Worff 52:36

Yeah. And when you said that, it's like, you know, the the planting of the tree. When was the best time yesterday? When's the next best time today? It's like we you and I have this conversation, man, where would this be if we started this when I first had that idea? Because I know you wrote in your journal, you wrote Jason having a tree service or something of something of that terminology, and that was whatever, 2019. Let's call it that. I was like, man, like that's been on my mind for six plus years. And you know, maybe that wasn't the time to do it because that would have not allowed us to travel, because you wouldn't be able to, I guess we could have just wrapped it up for a little while, then restarted it, and then it would have just we would have known all these little tips and tricks that you know, marketing-wise for myself. Like, I was like, oh, well, that didn't work very well, so let's try this. No, well, that didn't work very well, so let's try. Anywho, it's like if you have the thought, like maybe that thought's coming there for a reason, because I don't know how you say it, like you have the thought because it already exists out there. I think that's one of your lines. I know that is one of your lines. I don't, I think that's the term terminology you use for one of your lines. The thought exists because it the thought you're how you have the thought because it already exists.

Erin Gray 53:52

So it's already within you, right? Like God put the two parts I say. I think what you're trying to get to is when we have the thought, someone else is wanting what we are creating, right? Like, so let's just take my business. My business came from there. Are women out there that want what I am offering, and they have so we are collectively creating together. And also the reason why we have specific thoughts, the reason why we have specific desires, they were put there in our heart, is from God, is through the divine intelligence and intervention in terms of like, I don't want to be a tree trimmer. I love all the back behind the scenes part of running the tree business, but I don't want to be a tree tree trimmer. But that is something that you love to do. And it was put there on your heart for you to express it and for you to fulfill that desire. And so I think we need to lean into those things. Like we, I don't, this comes back to self-trust. We don't truly trust that that desire was put in our heart for us to actually bring it to fruition, you know? Like I love to fly, but I don't really want to be a pilot. But I always wanted to learn how to surf. Like, okay, and now I surf. It's like those, those desires are there for us to cultivate, to bring them to the 3D realm. And so recognize that we all have special gifts and we all have desires, and those are there for us to actually experience them, not for us to doubt them, not for us to say, oh, somebody's doing it better than us. It's there for us to bring it in our way, in our special gift that we bring to the world. And you trim trees and work with customers like no other tree person I've ever dealt with, you know? So like honoring your gifts. I love you.

Jason Worff 55:41

Love you.

Erin Gray 55:42

But I think I think so many people doubt. So many people doubt, like we we downplay, we minimize what is on our heart. And I think if I could say anything about that, it's just like you don't know until you do. And it's really there for you to bring it. And so if we spent as much time believing in ourselves as we did doubting ourselves, where would we be? What would we create in the world? What would we have in our lives because we actually bet on ourselves and we we spent more time in that arena than we did in the doubt side.

Closing Thoughts And Goodbye

Erin Gray 56:14

Okay. Anything else before we say goodbye?

Jason Worff 56:16

That's all I got.

Erin Gray 56:17

Okay. Okay. Thanks for playing.

Jason Worff 56:20

Of course.

Erin Gray 56:21

I love you.

Jason Worff 56:22

I love you.

Erin Gray 56:23

And I love each of you. I'll see you in the next episode.