Ready Set Reiki

Episode #163 Chris Wasko Healing from Narcissistic Abuse: Energy Work as a Path to Recovery

• Tracy searight

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Cutting ties with toxic parents became the unexpected catalyst for Chris Wasco's spiritual awakening and healing journey. What started as a painful but necessary decision to break free from narcissistic abuse opened the door to discovering her gifts as an energy healer, spiritual counselor, and psychic medium.

During our heart-to-heart conversation, Chris reveals how narcissistic abuse operates through fear, guilt, and shame—emotions that directly impact our lower chakras and can manifest as physical ailments. Her own thyroid condition completely resolved after addressing the trauma from her relationships, demonstrating the profound connection between emotional wounds and physical health. 

The societal pressure to maintain relationships with toxic family members creates an additional burden for survivors. As Chris puts it, "It's never just one thing" that leads someone to establish firm boundaries with parents—rather, it's thousands of painful interactions that finally reach a breaking point. Her powerful message that "you don't owe them anything for the right to be born" offers liberation to those struggling with guilt over prioritizing their wellbeing.

Most remarkably, Chris's story illuminates how healing from trauma can unlock dormant spiritual gifts. Before discovering energy healing, she had a structured business background with little room for spiritual exploration. As her healing progressed, she began experiencing psychic abilities and seeing spirits, eventually finding her way to Reiki and other energy modalities that now form the foundation of her healing practice.

Whether you're navigating complicated family dynamics, healing from narcissistic relationships, or curious about how trauma affects our energetic body, this episode offers validation, hope, and practical guidance. Connect with Chris at chriswasco.com to learn more about her healing services and spiritual development classes.

Chris Wasko is an Energy Healer, Spiritual Counselor, and Psychic Medium committed to guiding individuals on their healing and personal growth journeys. She specializes in trauma recovery, helping old souls and survivors of narcissistic abuse heal. Through uncovering deep soul lessons, restoring energetic balance, and supporting nervous system regulation, Chris empowers her clients to navigate life’s challenges and reclaim their true potential.  


Socials: FB: @chriswaskomedium

YouTube: @energyhealingwithChris


Please let me know if you need anything further. I look forward to meeting you!



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Ready Set Reiki is a journey
From the curious beginner to the Season Master Teacher
All Energy workers of all systems and all levels.

Speaker 1:

This is Ready Set Reiki, a podcast about Reiki, the universal energy life force, from the curious beginner to the seasoned master teacher, welcoming all systems, all litigations and all levels. Reiki is a journey and not a destination, and on this Ready Set Reiki journey I refer to myself as a guide rather than a host.

Speaker 2:

So I'm Tracy Seawright and this is Ready Set Reiki.

Speaker 2:

Hello everyone, welcome Ready Set Reiki. I'm your guide today, tracy Seawright. Lots of amazing and wonderful things happening and today is the day I am welcoming an amazing and wonderful guest Now. Her name is Chris Wasco. Now she is an energy healer, spiritual counselor, psychic medium committed to guiding individuals on their healing and personal growth journeys. Now she specializes in trauma recovery. She helps old souls and survivors of narcissistic abuse, healing through uncovering deep and soul lessons, restoring energetic balance and supporting the nervous system regulation. She empowers her clients to navigate through life's challenges and reclaim their potential. So let's give a wonderful Ready Set Reiki. Welcome to Chris, chris. Welcome to Ready Set Reiki.

Speaker 3:

Thanks so much, Tracy. It's a pleasure to be here.

Speaker 2:

Wonderful. So I told our listeners just a little bit about you. So, as we begin this journey together, tell us a little bit about yourself.

Speaker 3:

Well, a lot is in my intro, but what I'd like to also share is the fact that I'm living life in this way probably surprises me more than anyone, because my background is in business and I was not doing this work.

Speaker 3:

What led me to this work was a very challenging and difficult decision to cut off my extremely narcissistic and abusive parents, and what started as probably the most difficult decision I ever had to make in my life led to this incredible journey of awakening and expanding and coming into gifts I didn't realize I had. To the extent that I actually have them and I'm sure they're still going to continue to expand. But as I was healing, I recognized that my trauma really numbed my abilities, and that's really what I help a lot of people now do is they're really just releasing these little energetic layers of trauma that get stuck in the body, get trapped, and first I help bring awareness where there is none, because I can read their energy body and I could see it and feel it, and then it's just a matter of how to help them heal and evolve in the way they want to. Not everyone wants to open up to spirit and that's fine, but a lot of people at least want to feel more aligned to themselves.

Speaker 2:

Beautiful, and I don't think too many people realize how difficult it is to sever a relationship with a parent. I've had to do it myself in my lifetime because we are conditioned that it's your parents right, you have to give them grace and everything that they gave up for you. So it's kind of a taboo thing. But to pause and say this isn't working. You know, this is toxic. I need to do something about that. So it's a constant kind of regulating with that because things come up. I know in my life there's been seasons where I really miss having my mother there and as a woman, we go through different seasons of our lives and we want to call our mom, but having to put that kind of boundary up and saying no. But so it's wonderful that you're able to offer this service for individuals who are having to deal with this. It's really a challenge at times with this, isn't it?

Speaker 3:

Yeah, and I thank you for saying that too, because it is a rather taboo subject and one that is often harshly criticized, because there's a lot of cultural and religious aspects that align to people needing to stay in these types of relationships. I even had people that flat out say well, unless you were abused, this is not okay. I was like, well, I was, but that shouldn't declare whether or not this is okay, you know. So people get very defensive for this subject matter, you know, and maybe in some cases because they didn't have the strength to do it themselves, and then in other cases because they feel the pain of that, because it doesn't matter which side of the fence you're on when it comes to that type of severing, it hurts, it's very difficult, it's very challenging, but I think you said the best word toxic.

Speaker 3:

When it is to that type of severing, it hurts, it's very difficult, it's very challenging, but I think you said the best word toxic. When it is so incredibly toxic that is seeping into you, especially on an energetic form and realm. You feel that and you live that and you soak in that. So you make a decision how do I want my life to be? Is this it, or can I have better, and I learned in my experience not only can I have better, I can have peace, and it's been beautiful. My only regret is not doing it sooner.

Speaker 2:

Sure, I was in my forties when I had it was the catalyst for change and I struggled as I grew up, our family was heavily involved in the church and as honor thy mother and father and that was drilled into me and the comeback always when I was stood up for myself you're not honoring me, you're being disrespectful. So there wasn't physical, like hitting. But you have this other type of toxic behavior putting down name calling, things like that that become at a time like wait a minute, I'm an adult with my own children, right, and how much longer can I put up with this? And I recall being so torn about this that I looked up. You know what can you do if you have a parent that the behavior is so toxic? How can you honor them the way that God would want you to honor them?

Speaker 2:

And I remember coming across a article by a particular preacher and it put in there where you can financially support them. So I began sending her checks and Mother's Day things like that, but it got down to the point of like I only was doing a texting relationship and then I had a pause, like it was just something that happened recently. It was just like I can't do this. I have to put this on pause. It's just so toxic. And you have a little bit of that guilt, but also that inner peace too. And you have a little bit of that guilt, but also that inner peace too.

Speaker 3:

That like, okay, like I can breathe. Yeah, I think you bring up a really good point of guilt, because that's really a lot of what we're working through when we have these kinds of relationships the guilt and feeling of obligation that we need to sustain these relationships somehow. We need to sustain these relationships somehow. But when they are so toxic, you're really going across your own energetic boundaries, I find, because you're being disrespected. Often your family is being disrespected and, like you said, I'm a grown woman with children. I shouldn't be treated like a child anymore. I deserve just as much respect as you do, and yet I shouldn't be treated like a child anymore. I deserve just as much respect as you do, and yet I don't receive any. So I think, while it's difficult to have a balance with such a parent when the balance is so shifted in one area, yeah, something's got to give.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, yeah, and it's like I said, doesn't have to be the physical. It's that words, words hurt too. Yes, I mean coming at you. And how can you do that to someone that you gave birth to, that you brought into the world, and it just blows your mind that unbelievable with it. Absolutely.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, but it's a lifelong thing and, as little milestones come up, right Recently had a graduation and it was decided as a family that we weren't going to invite this particular person. And then that person somebody posted, of course, on Facebook that she knew. And then it came at me with the text messages and it's like you know what? My daughter's old enough to decide who she wants to have at her graduation. But yet it's my fault, right? Yeah, it's me, everything's on me. I distort the image, I control the narrative and I'm like, wow, I wish I really had that much power.

Speaker 3:

I find with these kinds of parents because I not only was raised by them but I work with a lot of people that have similar parents is you're dealing with three elements here. It's fear, guilt and shame, and they utilize all these tactics. And when you look at it from an energetic standpoint, fear is in the root chakra, guilt is in the solar plexus and shame is in the sacral. So when you have that, it's all lower chakra stuff and energy and you're holding all of that. So you know if you have digestive issues, stomach issues, reproductive issues, you know. I do recommend start looking into the relationship you have with the people in your life that are making you feel fear, guilt and shame Absolutely.

Speaker 2:

And this is why energy work is so important. I mean, it's one of the tools in your energetic toolbox that can help you through this, because you can self-regulate, you can do your just for today. I will not get angry. Just for today, you know, I will be kind to all living things, which is sometimes a challenge. So that takes us into our next question. So Reiki energy work did you find it, or did it find you?

Speaker 3:

energy work. Did you find it or did it find you? It found me because I think my background in business had me so structured, rigid, type A have to do things a certain way. And when I was in my healing process I think I'll work forever in a healing journey but at the beginning of it, when I was very intentional about it, I noticed myself becoming more sensitive and then I started seeing people in my mind's eye that were in spirit and I was kind of overwhelmed by it at first and confused and also excited, and I started learning about psychic mediumship and how to communicate with them, because they would show up and I could see them, but I had no idea how to communicate with them because they don't communicate like we do, they don't have a body anymore. So it took, I would say, a couple of years until Reiki kind of kept knocking on my door where and I think that happens with a lot of us you know you're exposed to it, you start meeting people that do it and I recognize that. You know it was calling to me and I answered the call.

Speaker 3:

And what I also love is because I teach a lot of spiritual development classes. A lot of people that are. My students are actually Reiki masters or Reiki students. So they kind of are like we kind of did a flip. I started where all my sensitivities and seeing, visions and stuff started first, and then Reiki was a very nice tool to add to that, whereas I've had students where they started with Reiki and then noticed all these visions and feelings and everything coming to them. So how do I figure this out? So it's kind of neat how that happens. I just feel like it's like this evolutionary process and energy work, sure.

Speaker 2:

It's just so interesting because it shows you just how many different paths there are in the journey. There's no right way. You have individuals that come to Reiki and then they wish they could have these psychic abilities and all these things, and then others that have the psychic ability but they need that little bit of regulation and an extra tool to bring in it. But the great thing about Reiki is that it's that gateway that can lead you to other things. So having that can regulate, as you said, calm things down, that stress, reducing modality. That can open things up even more, even if you showed up with already those abilities. I had these abilities and I found now, through the Reiki and the different systems I've studied, it opens up things even more. So you had a business background working through their energy healer, spiritual counselor, psychic medium. As you are out navigating, working with students, what are some of the common misconceptions you find about your work?

Speaker 3:

I think people feel, especially with mediumship, that spirit is just going to come to you like it does on TV. I think Hollywood just amps that up so much and just people not realizing how incredibly subtle this type of work is. You do not need some grand thing, and even when it comes to energetic blocks, some people think they have to get through a brick wall, but really there's probably some trauma there that's serving as a bit of a block and they need to connect to that. And sometimes it's the awareness. Awareness is that first key to helping something not even just open but sometimes even dissolve, like oh, now I get it and you kind of clear something. So yeah, I think mostly it's the subtlety. We often have a lot of assumptions because of film, what we've been shown, but it's really not that way.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, I remember was was it the Jennifer Love Hewitt where she would just see them right, and then they have long conversations back and forth and then when you go with someone they're expecting you to tell them paragraphs. But I almost like you're trying to decode something.

Speaker 3:

We do not do that. It would be nice, because it makes it a little easier. I feel, and mediumship varies from person to person, just like any kind of energy work, but yet they're not talking to us in that manner. It's all vibration, it's all telepathy, and how we as individuals receive the messages and how our receptors are working for us individuals receive the messages and that's how our receptors are working for us.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, and people have different individual gifts.

Speaker 2:

I have a friend that spirit will just come right into her and she can see through their eyes. But I have to close my eyes and it's almost like in a dreamlike state. I can feel it. She can't, like I'll come into a room. I'm like, oh, there's something here, and then she has to kind of meditate on it and then it will come in. So it's kind of like discovering your own superpower and everybody's different. So don't look at somebody else and say, oh, I can't do this. You'll find your own way to it in your own way of communicating with it. So it's quite fascinating the more I connect with individuals that do this work, and how unique and similar we all are with this, it's true. So you are out helping others. You know heal from this narcissistic abuse and, as you've gone through your journey in life, what has been the biggest challenge for you?

Speaker 3:

in life. What has been the biggest challenge for you? Well, in the beginning it was dealing with my own traumas and I think I was surprised that it led me to help others, because when you have that kind of abuse, you know my parents are on opposite sides of the narcissistic spectrum and when you have something like that, you essentially become an expert in it. Anyone who's dealt with narcissistic abuse becomes very well studied. It just kind of happens in that way and you really dig into stuff and you start checking boxes of the things that were done and things that were done and things that happened and you're like, oh my gosh, that's my mother, oh my gosh, that's my father.

Speaker 3:

They're so incredibly textbook and it seems like they're all sharing the same playbook, and so to see that it led me to this work was really surprising, because I think I probably would think just in assumption it might be a little triggering, but it also really showed me how much I healed because it's not triggering. I really understand people will share their stories and I feel like I've heard so many things and the levels of abuse. I mean you name it, I've heard it and probably then some, and just the fact that people feel safe with me. I think is really important because what happens is I'm able to help them in a more nurturing way to understand how it's affecting their energy body, and I think that's been really helpful, I think just for all involved, myself included just to see like, okay, I went through this for a reason and I get to see the reason almost every day.

Speaker 2:

Wow. Well, thank you for doing all of the work so that you can be of service to so many people. I mean, how wonderful is it? It's just amazing that individuals because you could have really taken two paths One you could have just turned around and been a horrible person, or you rose above it continue to work on yourself and you're helping others. So thank you for that.

Speaker 3:

Thank you for saying that too, because that really is. Those are those paths. When you've been raised by narcissism, it becomes part of you and it doesn't mean you become a narcissist, but you will carry the fleas. You will carry the nature of narcissism, because when it's been in your environment and your entire life, you wear it like a coat or it can become part of you. So, yeah, I really needed to unpack those elements so that I wasn't myself toxic and I didn't allow it to rule my life the way it did so many generations in my line.

Speaker 2:

Sure, and you may have probably been told this by people that are kind of in your circle about, maybe, how kind you are. They're surprised at how maybe you lead with kindness. So much from your past experiences with being raised with parents that may not have been so kind in the world, and you chose kindness. Isn't that beautiful?

Speaker 3:

Yeah, yeah, and I like to believe I did it more authentically, because when people meet my mother, they would say that too, but don't recognize there's another side to her. That's not so pretty.

Speaker 2:

Right. They always think like what's wrong with you? She's so wonderful, she's so amazing. And I think you're the crazy person. And I remember you know me saying some things and I was kind of labeled I'm being ungrateful, I'm being the brat, and then something happens and then I got an apology from someone that said I'm I'm really sorry that we didn't believe you. Like now we see Validating and validating, and I just cried, I was just sobbing because it was finally Because you think you're crazy, like you'll tell people stories from your childhood and they're like that's not normal and I thought it was normal, yeah, and that's exactly how it happens.

Speaker 3:

People will respond and be like that's not okay, that's not normal, and yeah, I mean, I think the path for me was paved a little bit because there were aunts and uncles that cut off my parents before I ever did. So I sought them out when I made that choice. But I think for those like you, when you're the one making that first jump, it's really isolating because you will be looked at as the problem. How could you and especially if your mom is very good at putting on a mask to others and many are Very funny.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, and then I'm the only child. So when you're the child on top of it, there's that immense guilt. Yes, yes.

Speaker 3:

Well, in all fairness I mean, I am not an only child and my two siblings, well, one absolutely has become my father. So, um, but the other, who was so clear and understanding, yes, I've seen everything mom does. I fully agree with you. And yet um won't ever cut her off because, um, she again, she couldn't handle the guilt. So it really takes a very strong person to make that choice. It's, it's not easy, it really isn't.

Speaker 2:

And then you kind of get sucked in a little bit and then you remember why. There it is.

Speaker 3:

There it is. Yeah, it can feel masochistic in nature, like why do I keep doing this to myself? It's the same story, it's the same, but it's a pattern.

Speaker 2:

It's going to change. Maybe a rock bottom happened and then there comes a comeback. There it is. That's the reason why.

Speaker 3:

That's why they call it the cycle of abuse, because it's never constant abuse. It is always a cycle, and when that cycle keeps going, you keep going in it and going in it. It will absolutely make you dizzy.

Speaker 2:

Well, this question can be used in your experiences. An energy healer, spiritual counselor or psychic medium what are some qualities that you look for in an energy healer, spiritual counselor or psychic medium? What are some qualities that you look for in an energy healer or energy worker?

Speaker 3:

Authenticity, and I know that's easier said than done or seemingly obvious, but I feel like when I really got into this work, I noticed that there were a lot of people that were very judgmental in spirituality and that stunned me. Because I'm here, I'm thinking like, oh, I'm joining this spiritual community and everyone's going to be all welcoming and loving. No, there, you know, it's really when you recognize those people that are like I, I'm your community, I'm not your competition, like those are the people I love to connect with. That's just feels good because, because it's real, it's authentic, it's, it's, it's peaceful, right, right, yeah, that's the good people.

Speaker 2:

If they're supporting you, don't need to gatekeep in this profession. Sometimes, you know, there may not be that fit or time. I have things going on in my life right now and people have come forward for sessions and things and I've had to refer, refer them to students and other people, just because things in my life wasn't kind of in alignment. So it's okay, it's all right to pass it on. So what advice would you give someone who's just starting in this profession?

Speaker 3:

Trust your gut, just trust that guidance. It's always speaking to you Really every moment of every day, and if you find you can't tap into that, then there's some trauma there that's blocking you from it.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, good advice, good advice. What are some books that you recommend?

Speaker 3:

advice. What are some books that you recommend? Probably one of my favorite and regular go-tos is you Can Heal your Life by Louise Hay. I love that one, asking it Is Given by Abraham Hicks. Esther Hicks is a really good one. I really love Kyle Gray, so his books like you know you're like working with angels I have several of his books. Like you know, if you're like working with angels, I have several of his books which are probably his favorite. One of mine is the one related to Ascended Masters. Beautiful, beautiful.

Speaker 2:

Love, love Kyle Gray. I'm a part of his angel team so I love that Wonderful. So what other services do you offer? Do you do classes, trainings?

Speaker 3:

My primary service is energy healing slash reading. So that's where I will connect with someone's chakra system and read their chakras and what's coming up in their body and then I'll offer suggestions on how to address anything that comes up or work to heal the energy that might be stagnant or overstimulated. The other thing I do regularly, but in kind of throughout the year, not all throughout the year is teach classes on spiritual development so people that find they're coming into their gifts. I actually just finished a class series called Up Level your Intuitions where I was really just teaching people about connecting to that inner voice and expanding with it.

Speaker 2:

All right. So do you do services online and in person?

Speaker 3:

Yes, I do both Primarily online, but I do do person as well.

Speaker 2:

All right. Well, where can we find you if someone's listening to this or watching this right now and they're like this is my girl, I got to connect.

Speaker 3:

My website's the easiest way to find me, because it's my name, chris Wasco dot com, and everything's pretty much there, beautiful.

Speaker 2:

All right. Well, that ends the first part of our journey. I'm going to guide you into the second part, which are questions from Reiki students and social media. So here we go. Number one what inspired you to specialize in trauma recovery?

Speaker 3:

My own path. I started actually helping kids but I didn't realize that I was helping them in the way that ultimately I was told I did Um because when parents were venting about their children to me and this would be in like a like a play date setting when my kids were young I got to hear the children's inner thoughts and I would share um you know, obviously with permission and all the stuff that goes with that, even before I knew what was going on, but I could just hear them. So it really helped me understand that I could kind of play this mediator role, energetically speaking, and had people tell me how I helped heal their relationship with their children. So that's a lot of how this started for me. I don't work as much with children. I do work with a lot of teens now, with their parents of course, but mostly I have adults. But yeah, it started my path to kids and now mostly adults.

Speaker 2:

Beautiful. I love that and it just kind of came with it. It's how wonderful that evolved for you. So, number two, what is your role of an energetic counselor and how can an energetic counselor be of service to someone?

Speaker 3:

It's. It's funny. I love this question because I do have a lot of my. My clients will call me a therapist and I'm always very careful. I like I am not certified. I am, I'm not. I am not a therapist. I am, but I think, because what happens is is people talk to me and they share their stories and they share their energy. I'm really able to see a lot and feel a lot and counsel them on how they can help themselves. I'm very big on helping people heal themselves because I believe we as individuals are our best healers.

Speaker 2:

Right, right. It's so interesting because you'll get many especially Reiki master teachers and they feel uncomfortable with the word master because they feel like they haven't mastered it. So it's like where do you really? How do you, how do you name yourself? And for I was calling myself like an energy coordinator, you know. So it's so important, you know, as you're watching the language of it, so energetic counselor for them to come to share with you. So beautiful. Our third question why is it so important that we heal from narcissistic abuse?

Speaker 3:

Because it affects your energy, whether you know it or not, and it's very heavy. It's a big weight and often manifests in the body. For me, I had a thyroid condition that I have since healed. I am not on any medication and my thyroid is fully functioning and absolutely wonderful now, and it was healing from narcissistic abuse.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, and it really spreads. I mean, especially when you have that parent and then the kids see it. And one of the things I was often said by my parent and she actually said to me well, I hope your children treat you the way you treat me. And I had friends say to me yeah, I hope they do, because you've been very patient and you've been very kind and you've been very tolerant with that, because it does affect everybody because they are grandparents, right, they're family members. It's so hard again going against what you're taught in the church. You honor that parent, right, no matter what. And you have stories like oh, but they gave up this for you and they sacrificed this for you. You're being ungrateful. So it's really hard with that. But it is just this as you go process, you think you're healed. Then something happens and by pausing and doing that energy, work, that self-regulation it gets you through that little bump.

Speaker 3:

It really does. I remember when I was hearing a lot of those things in the beginning and feeling the guilt, someone had said you don't owe them anything for the right to be born and I found that so empowering and I hope a lot of others can find that empowering, because so many parents, it's a choice to become a parent, it's a choice to raise that child. So any quote, unquote sacrifice that they've given that this was all choice based. They didn't have to have children. Children and I mean in my parents' case they probably shouldn't have. But when you do, it's your job to be a parent.

Speaker 3:

It's not your child's job to worship you and to put you on a pedestal?

Speaker 2:

Or to support you. Some parents will be, nope, I did my job and now I'm going to move in with you and you're going to do this. And this expectation of, like you go out to dinner and you're supposed to pay the bill, right, and it's like okay, I mean, yeah, it's just quite interesting with that, and especially if you have a parent that mixes that behavior with religion and uses religion and the Bible and starts shooting out Bible verses and things like that, you're not doing this according to the word and you need to repent, go home and read your Bible. It's like who are you to know my journey with God?

Speaker 3:

Exactly. Yeah, it is challenging. I myself I'm a recovering Catholic and a lot of that does get thrown around, and you really. I think, as individuals, it's up to us to find out what our relationship is to religion, to spirituality, to God, whatever the case may be. And the more I heal, the more I recognize when it's my time, I'm at peace, I'm good, and I know my parents can't say the same.

Speaker 2:

I'm at peace, I'm good, and I know my parents can't say the same, right, and that's the thing that makes it different is that you are the catalyst for change. You are making that you're breaking that generational cycle and says this is enough. And my I have four children, my three daughters have such strong boundaries and they keep me in check. They're like no, they'll call me on it and and it was like wow, I'm really, they're really coming at me. But they feel safe that they're able to do this, that they're able to say hey, like you did this. And I, and I have enough sense in my experience to say you know what, I'm sorry, I didn't get that from my parents that.

Speaker 2:

I was, they were sorry or that they were doing, and they, they believe that they did an amazing job. You know, and I have to forgive them because in their mind they were doing the best that they could do. But it's this acknowledgement that saying I'm sorry, I'll do better. Thank you for sharing that with sorry. I'll do better. Thank you for sharing that with me, because I didn't know and I'm learning and trying to improve, and I even pointed out to my daughter the other day. I said here's the difference. I'm trying to fix it. And no one tried to fix that for me. It was either this way, or I'm going to hang up on you or I'm not going to talk to you, right? So I was never given that opportunity.

Speaker 3:

So no, and it's very hurtful because it's putting the responsibility on the child when it's really up to the parent to be self reflective, because you know, when you have a parent that in instead deflects, every time that you're the problem, you're to blame, and if you weren't this way, it never would be that way. It really shows an individual that has no want or ability to try and heal, because we're never going to look within. They're never going to look at themselves. This is not to suggest that every single thing that they're doing is wrong, but don't put yourself on a healing path of a healthy relationship If you have one that is willing to try and one that just wants to constantly point blame.

Speaker 2:

Right. And even if you have a relationship that's hanging by a shoestring, why is it the child's responsibility to call the parent to keep communication going? Why is it on them? Nobody asks what did your parent do, right? It's always like, well, that's your mother, that's your father, this is your family. You need to get over it and not asking you what went wrong, what was, what was the final breaking point for you? It's always like but how could you do that?

Speaker 3:

And it really as far as a final breaking point, it's really the final, like I'm just not doing this anymore. There's always a buildup, it is never just one thing. And they really like to make it about one thing and then oversimplify it Like, oh, it was just this one event. How dare you get upset Like no, it's never just about the one event, that was just the one that I finally said enough, I'm not doing this anymore and it's usually thousands, thousands and different situations, different things and the finally saying it's enough and putting these boundaries up and sticking with them.

Speaker 2:

And then then you get real back in and then it's showing the same behavior again and then, especially as they get older too, you feel terrible, and then they'll get it with but I'm going to die soon. I don't have much longer, you know, um, come visit me before I die. It's like oh, my goodness, yeah.

Speaker 3:

Well, again, that goes back to guilt Cause. I remember feeling that too and you really have to go through a mourning period because someone that has chosen not to speak to their parents, and then if that parent dies, you mourn them twice. Mourn them the first time because you're mourning the loss of a parent you actually deserved and didn't have, and then you're mourning the loss of them, you know, in body and if you're not at peace with it, you know. I like to say it's been much more peaceful now for me, but I'm sure in a way I'll mourn them when it's their time. But I'm not in any way wanting a relationship again, because I know how incredibly toxic it is and how much better my life has been without them. It's been beautiful.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, one of the things that I had to work on in my healing journey which the Reiki prayer, all the things that I do helped is I have girlfriends who lost their mothers and it's devastating. They were best friends and here my mother's still here and I made the conscious choice.

Speaker 2:

So seeing my friends grieve, losing, their mother and it's like and then I've even had discussions with them and they're like, no, like we completely understand why you had to do what you need to do. I mean, they read the text messages. They they've been a part of the journey for years now and they see it. But you have that bit of guilt, a little bit, you know, when you have a friend that loses a parent and yours is still walking the earth, right?

Speaker 3:

Yes, that's actually an interesting synchronicity. You and I have one of my closest friends. When I was cutting my mother off, had already lost hers and it was a horrible loss for her. It was unexpected, so real shock to the nervous system and she was the most supportive person, especially in the beginning when I was a mess and I didn't know what to do. And I remember apologizing to her like I'm so sorry. I feel selfish telling you this. You know, when you've lost your mother and she's like no, no, no, no, no. We did not have the same mother and I really love the fact that she could be so open hearted at that time especially.

Speaker 2:

Wow. Well, I'm really glad that she was in your life at that time to help you through it, because you're moving forward and doing such amazing and wonderful work. Well, that was our last question. Is there anything else that you want to share, something that you may have forgotten about? The floor is yours.

Speaker 3:

I would love to share. I actually I do have a book out in the world. It's called An Old Soul's Journey and it looks and reads like a children's book and children do love it because there's a little white rabbit they like to find in the pages. But it's also geared towards inner child healing Beautiful.

Speaker 2:

Well, thank you, chris, so much for sharing all of that, and let us know again your website where individuals can find you. It's chriswascocom. Beautiful, all right. Well, thank you so much for taking this journey with me and to my wonderful listeners. If you would like your question featured on Ready Set Reiki, reach out. Check me out at wwwreadysetreikicom, check me out on Facebook, send me an email. I'm Tracy Seawright and this has been Ready Set Reiki.

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