Money Needs Healing | Demonay Moss | Growing Money with Sean Trace

In this episode of Growing Money with Sean Trace, I sit down with Demonay Moss from Rooted Financial Coaching for a powerful conversation about faith, finance, financial stability, and building a legacy that actually lasts. We talk about why so many people work hard but still feel trapped living paycheck to paycheck, how survival mode affects the way we spend, save, and make decisions, and why creating a simple money plan can be the first step toward peace and control.

Demonay shares her own story of being overwhelmed by debt, learning financial stewardship, leaning on faith, and realizing that money is not just something we use to pay bills. It is a tool that can help us create security, teach our children better habits, and build a future with more breathing room. We also talk about budgeting, emergency funds, paying yourself first, automating savings, opportunity cost, debt-to-income ratio, and how small intentional choices can completely change the direction of a family’s financial life.

This conversation is for anyone who feels stuck, overwhelmed, or unsure where to start with money. You do not need to have everything figured out today, but you do need a vision, a plan, and the belief that your current situation does not have to be your final destination.

What is one financial cycle you want to break for yourself or your family?

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Well, think about it. If I was taught that, let's see, what was something I was taught? I was taught that you should get a job, go to work, make money, spend it on your bills, and then repeat. Rinse, repeat, get a job, make money, spend it on your bills. What did I do for years? I had a stable job, I made money, and I spent it on my bills. They didn't tell me what to do with the rest. So I was like, hey, it's a party. And I literally spent the rest and I don't know where it is. And when I got these W-2s back each year, I'm like, I made that much money. Where'd it go? And I had no idea where all of that money went. And so I just feel like it's all that mindset is what shifts us to make better choices because everything about money is a choice. Like when I walk in a grocery store, I love chocolate covered cashews. Like they are just so good. When I walk into that store, I have to make a decision. Is today the day that I'm getting that or not? And every day I have to make that decision because why? My parents love them, but they taught me to eat sweets. And so I have that addiction that I'm working on, right? Trying to overcome. So I have to literally tell myself, no, you're not getting that. And so just being in conscious habit of retraining your mind to keep your mind focused on the goal, because there is a goal that I'm running after, and that's to build a legacy. And in order to build that, some of these tiny, small things that we keep accepting have to be removed.

SPEAKER_01 1:56

Hi, welcome everybody back to the Growing Money with Sean Trace Podcast. I have an awesome guest with me today. Would you like to tell people who you are and a little bit about what you do?

SPEAKER_00 2:05

Hey, my name is Demonia Moss. I'm here with Rudy Financial Coaching. Um, we just teach people how to bridge faith and finance to help them pursue their financial um stability or lifelong legacy.

SPEAKER_01 2:20

I love that. I love thinking about financial stability more than anything else because I think that people um get intimidated by money. And there's this idea of making more, aiming for something big. But sometimes what you really need to do is just get stable. Like maybe you've got some outstanding debt. And you know, yes, you would like to have that gone. Yeah. But having a plan to pay that down is something that's an important step in that. And, you know, simply having that plan in motion can give you some stability. You know what I mean? But the problem is when that things are out of control, when things are not under our, I don't know, under our the path that we're guiding them towards, you know? Right. So I I think that if you can start creating a plan and an action plan to be where you want, get where you want to be, it's one of the best things that you can do.

SPEAKER_00 3:25

Well, you know, one thing that I noticed about people is that they don't know that the world revolves around plans. So when you say create a plan, like their mind is not thinking about that. Why? Because they go to work, they don't make that schedule for themselves, they're not realizing that they're on someone else's schedule. Like they they're not it, the concept of planning is just sometimes far-fetched for most people. They just go to work, they pay their bills, and then they just spend the money that they have.

SPEAKER_01 3:58

I love that. And you know, it's like because I love the fact that what you're calling out is the reality that people have, but they can make a change. And that's the coolest thing is that people can make a change, you know. And I want to ask you this because a lot of people feel like they're working hard, but still haven't paid a check to paycheck. What do you think is really going wrong?

SPEAKER_00 4:21

I mean, again, you know, it's it's all about like where they are, you know, in reality of what they learned from their childhood, right? Growing up from parents, what parents have taught them, what they've learned from peers, right? All of that factors in to why someone would be living paycheck to paycheck. Maybe they learn that, you know, I'm only here on this earth to pay bills. I'm only here to go to work, get this job, and pay bills. And they're on this rabbit, you know, wheel or spinning hamster, like trying to just pay those bills and accomplish that goal each month. And then they use their free money to just buy whatever they want and they just keep the cycle going. And so I think what's going wrong is that they are not intentional, or we, I guess, because I was there before, like, let's not act like I'm better than anybody. I've been there. And we we just go in this rabbit hole of I'm just living for this month or this week, rather, you know, instead of like actually looking forward or looking ahead to what's to come or preparing for our kids, you know, or the future that we want. You know, a lot of people, I see it, they'll go in debt to go on a vacation, but then to plan another one is like when's the last time you've been, you know, it's like they have put that credit card in a hole and now they're stuck, they're trapped. They can't go on another adventure because they're they're they're stuck in that credit card. It's like maxed out because they didn't bought all this junk. Like it just keeps going. And so I think like what's missing is the intentionality to really dive into what do I want? What are my goals? Where am I headed with my life, my future? Maybe they have a spouse. Have they talked these questions out? You know, where are we and what do we want out of our life?

SPEAKER_01 6:22

Where are we and what are we out of what do we want out of our life is a question that more people need to be asking. I think that people don't go there enough. Um, you know, and I think that if people can sit there and start asking those questions, they get a better idea of so much that's going on in their own lives. And like, and I think one of the problems is that it's hard to do that when you're in that survival mindset, especially with money. And you talk about a survival mindset with money, but like, what does that actually look like in everyday life?

SPEAKER_00 6:56

Yeah. So I I mean, you know, for me, I would say a survival mindset is like when your life revolves around your job, you know, rather than it just rather than your job being a tool for you and your life, it's more focused on, you know what, I need to make this money because I gotta pay this. And so I just want to encourage you guys out there that you can stop that cycle for sure. Um, you just have to shift your mindset. Um, we we we can shift it by saying, you know what, I'm gonna create space, create space to ask myself a question. Do I need this? Right. So instead of just instead of just like having money as a tool, and instead of just going through the motions of what this money is, we need to realize that our money is a tool and it is for us. And it's it's used, designed to help us build a legacy that's worthwhile. And so, although you have a job, your job is important, but it is not everything about your life. You have a purpose in this world to fulfill. And so you have to kind of plan it out so that you can strategically have a better outlook on life. So, I'll give you some systems, for example, like an audit every day, every week, every month, depending on you and how often you spend money. Check your budget. What does it look like? Are are you are you hitting the goals you set for it? Um, are you wasting money? Like go back to the plan, go back to the bank statements, like review them and look at where your money is going because that is where your legacy lives.

SPEAKER_01 8:45

Yep. And I think people don't realize it. It's like one of the things I think people don't realize is that they can make a change, they can figure out a way to make things better. And I think when people get stuck in survival, they don't even have any clue that it could be any different. Right? This is my reality, this is where I'm at. And that challenge comes with, you know, um, have you looked at any other options in your life? You know, I don't want to make a silly example, but like, go ahead, go ahead.

SPEAKER_00 9:23

Well, if I have to be honest with you, um, we were actually um living in a different state. And I kid you not, like we were drowning in debt and bills, and our mind was just so focused on the moment. And like, what do you do? Like, how do you get a you know, a second job, a third job, a fourth job? I have four kids. Like, how do I make this work? And I remember just sitting there with God and just like being in this vulnerable state of just anxiety. I'm like, how do you live? Like, how do people do this differently? And to be honest, I had to go to YouTube University. Let's just keep it real. My family didn't teach me financial stewardship. I had to learn that. I had to create, create a mold around learning something different because what I knew was you get some, you spend some. I never knew you were supposed to pay yourself first. Those were things that had to be taught to me. And it was extreme because it's like if you go on this earth and you're married to a your spouse and neither one of you guys know about finances, you can end up in a in a hole. In a hole.

SPEAKER_01 10:36

That was my parents. Um, that was the the place that my parents were at, you know, they were both wonderful, good people, and they cared for each other and they cared in the for us kids, but they had no idea, like absolutely no idea how to manage money. And at the end of the day, it put them into a very bad place because they just spent and then again, there was no idea of a profit bucket emergency fund. What is that? You know, it was like, well, we save, or what were we saving for? We're saving so we can spend it on fun things down the road. And instead of no, we're saving it in case something's things don't go right, you know. Yeah, and you know, and I think that that's one of the things that I I would say that people need to look at is how can you um how can you start making changes in your own life, you know? And those are the questions I would say are important to look at.

SPEAKER_00 11:43

I agree. I was just gonna say it's kind of hard, you know, if you haven't really been intentional. But I will say that once you get started, you see the growth and the fruit daily.

SPEAKER_01 11:56

Right? That's a good point. I think that is such a good point. And one of the things, too, like, I wanted to ask you, what's the difference between someone who's surviving financially and someone who's actually building that stability?

SPEAKER_00 12:08

I think like that biggest difference is stability, right? The biggest difference is being intentional, planning out, having a vision or a goal. Kind of like what you said about your dad, you know, like they saved money for a purpose, but the purpose was small. When you think of saving, it's for a bigger vision. It's it's for something down the road. It's kind of like a retirement in a sense, you know, that emergency fund. You're saving it for something bigger so that you will be financially free later. So you can have some something to be a backbone to you just in case something happens. You could get hurt, you could lose your job, you can, you know, the world changes, man. I I write books and Amazon just changed, right? He just they just changed their rules and their plans. So it's like things change and you have to be ready to pivot for for the for the new thing that could be coming that could help you or could challenge you in some ways. So it's very different when you're stable because you're not constantly looking to purchase items. It's kind of like you're content. You know, you're not really going in the grocery store buying everything you see. You're kind of, you know what? I don't really need that now. Right. You're you're using opportunity cost. You're you're you're processing. Do I need this now? And is this gonna help me, you know, build an asset? Your mind is in a different space of what's most important, and you're thinking about value rather than quantity. You know, like a lot of people, oh, that's on sale. I'm gonna buy 17 of them. You know, no, we're not wasting money on things that only bring us joy for a temporary moment. Instead, we're like really being intentional about the purchases that we make so that we can have a better future for our lives. Um, and also we're teaching our kids. Like they're they're learning now so that they're not in the same situation we were. So we're giving them the tools that they need as well, so that they can make good decisions even now with the little allowances that they receive.

SPEAKER_01 14:35

I love it. It is, and it's about making those little decisions as they go. One of the things that I find on this podcast, I talk to financial advisors, I talk to high net with individuals, I talk to people who are paying down debt, I talk to people who are just surviving. And I think that we have to realize because one of the problems, and I talk to financial advisors about this, and I tell them, like, you guys are there only to help the wealthy. You know, there are so many of them that are sitting there going, oh, well, if you have, if you're I I yeah, and I get it. Those people have money to invest and it makes you money, but we need to help people that feel overwhelmed. I was that guy. You know, I'm starting to figure things out, but I still don't have my finances where I want them. And I still feel overwhelmed. I still feel like I still get anxiety with my finances, and that's something I don't want. I luckily have the ability to access people that can help me, and that's part of the beauty of having this podcast. But like, and that's where I want to be. I want to be one of the people that is helping other people. And I want to ask you this if someone feels completely overwhelmed with their finances, what's the first step they should take to get control?

SPEAKER_00 15:47

Um I to be honest, that first step is really to create a plan. Like, what do you what do you want out of your life? Like, what is the purpose? What where are you trying to go? What does that look like? And then I would look at what I had. Where are my bills? Where do I stand? Do I have enough money to pay all of my bills this month and also pay myself because yourself is just as valuable, right? So you're you're having to do, you know, I would say two or three things at once and then learn. Like start learning, look up things, ask questions. You you don't realize it, but if you have a retirement, you have the financial advisor right there at your fingertips that you can call. If you have a bank account, you can go and ask questions at the bank. There are many places and resources to ask questions. So I would say learn is like number one. Check your budget. Like, what does it look like? What where where are you? Um, and then make a vision.

SPEAKER_01 17:01

I love that. It really is about having a vision. It really is about knowing how to see where you want to be, even if you don't know how you can get there. Like you might feel overwhelmed, you might have massive student loan debt, you might be underwater and not able to make the money that you need to to support your family. But there is a way out. And if you can talk to the right people and find the right people who can help you, uh, you can get there. And like it comes down to mindset. And you mentioned that mindset matters just as much as the numbers. How does the way someone thinks about money actually affect their results?

SPEAKER_00 17:42

Well, think about it. If I was taught that, let's see, what was something I was taught? I was taught that you should get a job, go to work, make money, spend it on your bills, and then repeat. Rinse, repeat, get a job, make money, spend it on your bills. What did I do for years? I had a stable job, I made money, and I spent it on my bills. They didn't tell me what to do with the rest. So I was like, hey, it's a party. And I literally spent the rest and I don't know where it is. And when I got these W-2s back each year, I'm like, I made that much money. Where'd it go? And I had no idea where all of that money went. And so I just feel like it's all that mindset is what shifts us to make better choices because everything about money is a choice. Like when I walk in a grocery store, I love chocolate cover cashews. Like they are just so good. When I walk into that store, I have to make a decision. Is today the day that I'm getting that or not? And every day I have to make that decision because why? My parents love them, but they taught me to eat sweets. And so I have that addiction that I'm working on, right? Trying to overcome. So I have to literally tell myself, no, you're not getting that. And so just being in conscious habit of retraining your mind to keep your mind focused on the goal, because there is a goal that I'm running after, and that's to build a legacy. And in order to build that, some of these tiny, small things that we keep accepting have to be removed. And like I teach people, you have an overarching vision, right? But then you have multiple small little goals that you're working towards to achieve that vision. Okay. So all of these goals matter. And so if my goal is I'm gonna eat fruit and fruits and vegetables, then I'm gonna eat fruits and vegetables as playing in my mind when those chocolate covered cashews are staring at me in the grocery store line, right? So it's like having the mindset shift to tell your brain, no, you're not going to waste any more of your legacy money on crap.

SPEAKER_01 20:16

Yeah. Right, right, period. 100%. And it is a realignment that you have. I'm trying to figure out thanks to my daughter's advice. A realignment that you have to make. And it has to a realignment to become intentional, to be the person who instead of instead of um always, you know, reacting to everything, you are the one creating things. You are the ones putting things into place, you are the ones putting that stuff out there, the direction out there, the path out there. I want to ask you this one too. Like, what's one habit that quietly keeps people stuck in the same financial situation year after year? And how can they change it?

SPEAKER_00 20:59

Yeah, so um I think one habit that people have is paying the government, paying their bills first. I think that's the habit that people are in that they need to break. You are important, you are valuable, you must pay yourself. Like you deserve it. To see that future, to see you on the other side, you have to make space for you. What do I mean by that? I mean get an IRA account, get a savings account, get some type of account where you are putting money back and it is building interest for you and your family. You deserve that. And I think a lot of people, I mean, have not even saved$1,000, you know, to say that they have that in their in their bank account, you know,$1,500,$2,000. Like, can you? You honestly say for a whole year, you've had a thousand or more saved up, or ten thousand or more saved up. For real, we teach three to six months of your monthly expenses. And with COVID, like I know your expenses spiked. And so, do you have that saved somewhere for your family, for your future, right? Those emergency funds are valuable, as well as saving for just a rainy day. Like you've got to save. I can preach it enough. That habit is missing within the culture. And most of the clients that we get, you know, they're like, How do you save? And they're always asking that same question, but what am I saving for? Like they feel like I have to tell them they're saving for a car or something. No, you're not saving for a car. You're saving to protect you, to build security for your lifelong legacy. Like you're that's it. You know, it's it's not for a specific item. You don't know what that item is right now, but you're building it up. And when it gets to a thousand or when it gets to that number, it's not, okay, now I spent all of that. One thing I do say is I have a friend. She uses her savings, her big lump sum of savings that she has for her three to six months as a credit card, if you will, for her life. You know, that's where she will borrow from and then pay it back. So that way they never go in debt. You know? It's just creating systems really that work for you and your family. But it's very important that you have some type of savings.

SPEAKER_01 23:44

Yeah, uh it's so true. But you know, one of the things too that I think of is like finances can be up and down, right? Because people get intense. They're like, I'm gonna save, I'm gonna make a difference in my money, I'm gonna get things back on track, and they do good. Maybe they got a month or two or three where they're really in it. They're saving, they get right, you know, and Christmas comes, or summertime comes, and they're like, it's okay, it's okay, it's okay, and they start swiping her now. It's happening, you know. But the reality is is that you have to try to stop your biggest problem.

SPEAKER_00 24:26

Yep.

SPEAKER_01 24:27

Yourself, yourself, that's the problem, you know. Yeah, but so I and I see a lot of people get intense with saving and budgeting and the fall off. How do you build something that actually lasts? Because you gotta keep it up, you gotta keep going.

SPEAKER_00 24:40

Yeah. So again, I want to, you know, just say this has been a long year, a lot of years of going through the ups and downs. And so I just want you to know from my perspective, is that I struggled before. I struggle sometimes. But one of the things that I've found that works is creating systems that will help you stay afloat. What do I mean by that? Automate some of this stuff. You automate your bills that get withdrawn out of your account. You automate, you know, actually, the government automates their money. They get theirs regardless. If you notice, no matter what job you're on, the government got their money. And so automate some of this. Take off that load, that pressure of trying to keep up with everything and create those systems. At my, you know, nine to five, they have where I can put in multiple bank accounts where I want my check to go. So that that way I'm not constantly thinking about, oh, I need to go to that bank and this bank and that. No, automate your important um expenses from your budget so that you can have success.

SPEAKER_01 25:58

Yes. Right. And I think that's one of the things people are not always doing. They they they get into it and then they they start trying to think their way through it. And we think we're smart, we think we're good, but sometimes, you know, thinking ain't enough. Thinking ain't enough. You gotta move from survival into stable into true control and breathing room. You know, and what does that mean for you? You you need to really lock in what's gonna make it better for you, you know. And so I think what you can do is start looking at the the steps that you can take, because there are always steps you can take, whether that be going onto a budget, whether that be automating some of your finances, especially your accounts getting deposited in. All that matters is that you you create a plan. For someone who wants to own a home one day or or get something big, you know, but feels like it's out of reach, what should they focus on first?

SPEAKER_00 26:57

Um, I just think awareness is really where we need to focus. You know, be aware about where you want to go, what that looks like. If you want to buy a home, great. Tell me more. Where do you want that home? What is the average um amount that those homes cost in that area? You know, have you checked the schools? Like, really in the beginning, it's all about getting prepared. Prepared, making that vision be aligned to what it is that you want to do. So, yes, I want to buy a home in Florida. Okay, perfect. So now what? What is the next steps you need to do? Look into those homes. Where are they? What they look like. What is your ideal price range, monthly amount that you want to pay, right? Because all of that matters. Yeah. But in order for those things to happen, you have to look at your debt to income ratio. So does your debt to income ratio align with the goal that you have, the vision that you have? If not, that's the plan. The plan is to get it to align. So you have to work with kind of like backwards design, you know, backwards design to get to where you want to be. Yeah. And so it does take a little bit of planning in the beginning, but I promise you it's so worth it to get the home that you believe that you and your family deserves.

SPEAKER_01 28:27

I love that. I love it. And it's like the dream the impossible dream. So many people don't have that hope. And you know, but yet you can be the person who breaks that cycle for your family and be the first one to make this meaningful change. And you talk about moving from being a borrower to a lender, like it's such an identity shift. What does that really mean for the average person?

SPEAKER_00 28:51

Um, I think it just means like gaining less or having less anxiety, having less um chaos in the brain. Like, I feel like when one part of my life is out of whack, it creates this cycle and it and it leaks onto everything. And then I'm not such a nice person. And I feel like when we're a borrower, when I talk to people, um, that's their conversation, you know, when it comes around finances. You know, you can't even have, you know, intentional conversations because people are so um bogged down with the pressure of owing someone else. And so um, it takes away from your joy. And we don't want that. We want you to be joyful and we want you to be able to serve other people. And I've noticed people that are able to serve other people have invested in themselves, so now they can invest in others. And so we want that for you, we want that for everybody, you know.

SPEAKER_01 29:56

I I'm part of a group of people that are um I I never was a part of any groups, but I joined this entrepreneur group, and it was a bunch of people who had never been entrepreneurs, and how we were all being told that it was our you know duty to help grow and to help build because you know, you can give back and help other people if you do that. And I think that like that was something that I was never able to process, that like I can be a person that makes change into someone else's life. That just sounds that sounds like foreign to me. That uh how could that even be possible? But yeah, it can be if you are um, you know, willing to to to be part of that, to to to step in and try it, you know?

SPEAKER_00 30:48

Yeah. Well, I I want to say that, you know, a lot of people in your circle are learning from you, whether you know it or not. Um, for my story, you know, we were spending, we spend time with God. Like God speaks to us and he talks to us. And one of the things that he showed us was you're gonna move to a new state, you're not going to pay for groceries, and you're not going to pay for food. And I'm gonna supply all your needs. Right. And we're like, what? And we're like feeling the weight. But on that journey, he did it. Believe it or not, he did it. So guess who it impacted? It impacted me, but it also impacted all of my friends because they got to walk through that year journey of me and my husband and our kids trusting God and watching God show up every time. And so I just want to encourage you guys out there that if it happened for me, it could happen for you. And you have the power within you to be able to accomplish goals. You just have to believe in yourself, sit down and write. Which I've learned too. You know, a lot of people don't write anymore because school is over. And so they feel like there's no more time for that. But I don't want you to miss another moment, another chance, another opportunity. Take some time to write. Write out what you want. Yeah. So you can achieve what it is that you believe that you want for your life.

SPEAKER_01 32:22

I love that. I love that. And it's about having that intention and that belief. I want to ask you one last question. If someone wants to not just survive, but actually build a better financial future for their kids, what's one thing they can start doing today?

SPEAKER_00 32:37

Um, well, with my children, I teach them how to budget. I mean, sit with them, coach them on how to budget, you know, um, guide them on what that looks like. Allow them the opportunity to serve someone else, right? Allow them opportunities to learn these terms because there's so many um terms out there that they don't know about, they're not aware about. Um, I know for like the high school um students, like start teaching them about loans. What is a loan and what not to go down, what road not to go down when they get there, right? There's so many avenues, depending on the age of the kid, what you can do. But I just want to encourage you to be intentional with your child and take that time to talk to them about money. And whenever they receive money, have the conversation in the moment so they can start making choices to save, spend, and um save, spend, and um, what's the last thing? Save, spend. It just it left me. Save and spend their money.

SPEAKER_01 33:44

I love it. Well, you know what? It makes a lot of sense to me. I want to ask you, um, if you could go back and give yourself some financial advice, what what advice might you give yourself?

SPEAKER_00 33:56

Uh I think I wish I would have learned opportunity cost um way long ago. Like, if you buy this, then that means you can't have this. I think for a long time I believed I can have everything. Like, what do you mean? And so I think like just learning that um there's a season for everything, and not everything is meant to be mine in that moment and season of my life.

SPEAKER_01 34:25

I love that. Where can people go and find out more about you and what you do?

SPEAKER_00 34:31

Well, there are a lot of places, but um, if you go to rfc.setmore.com, you will have access to all of me. Of course, I'm on LinkedIn, Demonie Moss. Um, but yeah, check it out and also check out my books. They're on Amazon called Rooted Faith Walk. And they're just a guide of this same talk that we're talking of how God helped bridge that gap between faith and finance to help us grow and mature and become um freedom, people in freedom.

SPEAKER_01 35:04

I love that. Well, I I appreciate you and I appreciate what you're doing because I think the more people that are out there helping everyone get their money situation in order, the better it's gonna be. So thank you so much. And I I I I I just feel blessed to be able to have had this conversation with you today.

SPEAKER_00 35:21

Well, I want to say thank you for having me on here. I'm so glad that I got the opportunity to share with you and everyone else. I can't wait.