The Cozy Budget | Anne Serrano | Growing Money with Sean Trace

In this episode of Growing Money with Sean Trace, I sit down with Anne Serrano, a CFP professional who helps the rising generation build a healthier relationship with money. We talk about why so many people feel guilt, shame, and anxiety when they look at their bank account, and why budgeting does not have to feel restrictive or miserable. Anne shares a softer, more human approach called cozy budgeting, where money becomes less about punishment and more about building a life that actually feels good.

We also talk about comparison, social media, financial stress, and why smart, hardworking people can still feel overwhelmed by money. One of the biggest takeaways for me was that the first financial habit is not always about numbers. Sometimes it is simply learning how to pause, breathe, notice what is happening, and make one compassionate decision at a time. This conversation is really about money, but it is also about self-trust, future-you, and creating a financial plan that feels like home.

What is one money habit you want to make feel less stressful and more peaceful?

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Cozy budgeting, I first of all, I think it's very important to breathe and and notice where you're at in that moment. Um so and and recognize what actually feels cozy and important to you. So for some people, it's going to be tea. Uh for some people who I can't understand but I respect it's coffee. I, you know, there's um some people have the that dream of of going around the world with their cat on a boat, and uh some people want to go to Disneyland, some people want to stay in a in a cozy house and and sing and dance and twirl around and scare their cat, you know, for uh cozy budgeting, I think, is finding that path to be able to do the things that you want to achieve in life while not feeling that fear or guilt or shame, but being able to take care of yourself, not just your present self, but also your your future self.

SPEAKER_02 1:16

All right, welcome everybody back to the Growing Money with Sean Trace Podcast. I am your host, Sean, and I have an awesome guest with me. Can you tell people who you are and a little bit about what you do?

SPEAKER_00 1:27

Uh my name is Ann Serrano. I'm a CFP professional. I work in a financial planning firm and I serve the rising generations. So I serve the adult children of clients.

SPEAKER_02 1:38

That's awesome. It's uh one of the things I talk a lot about on this podcast is that there are groups that are not as um represented as others. You know, there's a lot of people that we get a lot of a lot of focus on the boomers, a lot of focus on people who've established their financial path. There's a focus on people who have kind of a chaos going on in the financial safe, you know, like the like let's get out of debt people and things like that. But for people that are, you know, I started this podcast because I have a 10-year-old daughter who's actually sitting right there uh while we're doing this podcast. And her mom is traveling, so we're hanging out in the same room. And I started this podcast because she was asking me questions about finance and I didn't have answers. And it was a challenge to figure out where to turn to get her that information. I said, Well, I can't help her out, I can't help her out at all if I don't have that information. So that's why I'm here learning, you know.

SPEAKER_00 2:43

That's one of the great things about finance, though, as well, is that there's always something new to learn. Right. It's it's just like life that way. There's there's no limit on how much you can learn.

SPEAKER_02 2:56

I love that. Well, I want to ask you some questions too, because I love your background. You have a really interesting and diverse background, but like I wanted to ask you this because when I I I was looking at what you you share, you know, I wanted to ask you, why do you think so many people feel guilty or ashamed whenever they look at their bank account or just talk about money?

SPEAKER_00 3:16

I think there are there are so many messages out there about what we should do. And then we probably also come up with some ourselves, either through childhood or through getting messages through the media. Um and then also we we tend to think that if we know something, then we should be able to do something there's should again, right? And uh and also there's like you said, there's just so much to know. And how do you even know where to start? And so we come into this space thinking we should already know everything that we should be doing, and we should already be implementing everything. And uh then if we look at it, we see that we're not, and we think that we failed before we've even started.

SPEAKER_02 4:04

I love that. You know, it one of the things I say is you don't know what you don't know. And I think that's a big problem for people because they are they're trying, it's like I tell someone, you know what, I'm gonna walk through this jungle. Okay, do you have the tools? Do you have a nice pair of boots that are gonna keep you, you know, protected from whatever you're gonna step on? Do you have a machete, you know, that you can cut your way through the dense brush? Do you have all of the things that you need? Some of us are sitting there going, I'm gonna try to go through this jungle because let's be real, it the learning about the financial space can be a jungle if you don't have the right tools. But so many of us are embarking and we don't even know what tools we need. And I think that's one of the big problems.

SPEAKER_00 4:54

To expand on the metaphor a bit, I think that a jungle is maybe only one financial biome, and we assume that we have to go through it, and maybe that's not even what we need to be doing. Maybe we don't need the machete, maybe we just need uh some sort of gardening implement.

SPEAKER_02 5:11

I love that. I'm a huge fan of the movie Zootopia, so I like the whole biome idea too. You know, it's like there are different paths, and I was thinking about that recently. You have different people that want to do different things. I I follow this one guy on Instagram that he saved up all his money and bought a boat, and he's sailing across the world with his cat. And that's that's his that's his life, that's what he loves. And like, wildest videos I've ever seen. And he was documenting his journey from Oregon to Hawaii with him and his cat. And like he had like a bunch of people rooting for him and following him. And can't remember his name right now, but my goodness, I was sitting there going, part of me is like, oh, I want a boat, but like I chose a different journey. I moved away from the US. I live in Southeast Asia now with my wife, and so I went a different direct direction as well. You know, there's lots of different ways to do this journey. So I love the whole there are different biomes, and you know, you got to figure out which biome you want to be in.

SPEAKER_00 6:16

Uh that that definitely sounds like if that ever became a movie, I'd I would have to watch that with my younger stepkid.

SPEAKER_02 6:24

So Right. Right. I want to ask you. I love it. I love it. Well, I want to ask you, speaking of younger kids, if a 10-year-old asked you, what is a budget, how would you explain it without making it sound miserable?

SPEAKER_00 6:42

Well, I think I'd have to go with the explanation that uh my dad provided me. He was uh he's an analytical chemist, so he has no shortage of explanations, but I'll pick the one that's actually fun, uh, which is imagine you're going to an amusement park and you don't just necessarily want to show up. You want to have a little bit of a plan. Do I need sunscreen? Do I need a hat? Maybe I want some water because uh maybe I want to uh plan out a time when I might take a little break and rest and breathe so that I can really enjoy the day. Maybe there's a specific ride or attraction I want to go to. So planning that out. And a budget is a plan.

SPEAKER_01 7:31

I love that.

SPEAKER_00 7:31

So that you can have more fun at the amusement park.

SPEAKER_02 7:35

I think plans sound so much less intimidating. They sound so much more approachable. If you tell someone that, you know, we're gonna make a plan, then you know, well, plans can be fun. I plan to go to, you know, Disneyland, or I plan to go to the park, or I plan to go uh swimming. Those are fun things. But you know, I let's let's let's go back to the the Disneyland plan because Disneyland isn't cheap. And if you want to go to Disneyland, then you have to make a very good plan to prepare for that. And you know, you're gonna have to budget for that. You're gonna, oh, did I say that word? You're gonna have to put things into place for it that are allowing you to build up enough so that you can do something fun. And I think that's something that I think is is really a win-win, is when we can frame these things the right way, you know? But I I wanted to ask you this too, because again, continuing on, a lot of people hear the word budget and immediately think, I can't have fun anymore. Why do you think budgeting has gotten such a bad reputation?

SPEAKER_00 8:40

Uh, fear sells.

unknown 8:42

Right. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 8:43

We there's, I mean, there's just everything. Let's see, how should I say this? I mean, when I was younger, which was not all that long ago, we were in the generation of criticizing young people for uh for streaming services and chai lattes. Then we moved on to criticizing women for pumpkin spice lattes, and now we're just then there was the avocado avocado toast, and now I don't know what we're criticizing young people for. But it's just so much uh easier to say, oh, all these young people these days, they're not do doing things right. And so that's I mean, at least in my experience, that's what uh we grow up and become adults with is all this messaging saying, look at these ungrateful people, they're doing it wrong. And so then how have who are we to think we know otherwise at that age, right? So um but but to your question of um why do you think that why why do we think that when we have a budget that we can't have fun anymore? There's also the sense of um immediacy of reward, right? If if we don't have a budget, if we don't have a plan, we might feel like we have more money available so we can get something immediately. So it feels more fun in the moment. But then going back to let's go back to the uh uh amusement park example. Yeah, I mean, there was one time when I we went to uh an amusement park with my now stepmom's sister, who was trying to be the cool aunt. She was she is the cool aunt, but uh she was really trying, so she let us have all the candy. Um, I remember my sister standing off the side going, um, I was bouncing off the walls. I had a great time until I crashed. So, you know. Um the the question then is, you know, a a budget is not necessarily or a plan, a budget or a plan is not necessarily to prevent you from having fun, but to allow that fun to continue and and be sustainable.

SPEAKER_02 11:02

Right. I think that's something that's really important too, because it's that sustainability that's important. You know, it's like like I love the candy example. I used to be a children's teacher, and I know what it's like to see a bunch of like eight and nine-year-olds that are just all sugared out, and then suddenly they're like boom, and they hit that wall. And we as adults hit that wall in other ways when we are, you know, going out and overspending or not working the right way with our financial situation. Now, I wanted to ask you about because you talk about cozy budgeting. And what does that actually mean? And how is it different from like a super strict budgeting advice people usually hear? Like, what is cozy budgeting? I like the word cozy. I remember my grandma's house, it was cozy. It has warm tea and little like eggnog and and and all types of fun stuff at Christmas time. It was cozy, but what's a cozy budget?

SPEAKER_00 12:02

I think uh like in contrast with what you mentioned with the super strict budget. The super strict budget is is something that we hear will make us uh good at money if we if we are frugal, we pinch pennies, we we we don't do the things that we enjoy. But then we don't actually want to do that. That's not that's not fun. Um, but cozy budgeting, I first of all, I think it's very important to breathe um and and notice where you're at in that moment. Um so and and recognize what actually feels cozy and important to you. So for some people, it's going to be tea. Uh for some people who I can't understand but I respect it's coffee. I, you know, there's um some people have the that dream of of going around the world with their cat on a boat, and uh some people want to go to Disneyland, some people want to stay in a in a cozy house and and sing and dance and twirl around and scare their cat, you know, for uh cozy budgeting, I think, is finding that path to be able to do things that you want to achieve in life while not feeling that fear or guilt or shame, but being able to take care of yourself, not just your present self, but also your your future self.

SPEAKER_02 13:37

I had to reframe certain things. I go to the gym now. And one of the big reasons I go to the gym is because I want my future self to be happy with me, and that my future self is gonna be happy with me because I'm working out, I'm doing mobility stuff, I'm doing strength training, I'm doing cardio, and my future self is gonna thank me for taking care of myself. Now, what happens if all of the money that you ever earn you spend right away? And you say, hey, future self, sorry, but I'm leaving you nothing. Well, your future self is gonna sit there and go, hey, that's not the nicest thing that you did. It's not very cozy, it's not very kind. And I had to get to the space where I was learning to love my future self a little bit more because, you know, I'm probably one of the few people who can go out and help that person prepare. If not the only person, you know, maybe my daughter will, but I don't want to leave that on her plate, you know.

SPEAKER_00 14:37

And then um I'm not sure if if you've you've probably heard of some of the studies uh showing that in in fMRI scans that people view uh as stranger uh and and their future self at of 10 years from now pretty much the same way. But it's you you s view your view yourself one way and then a complete stranger, like an actor, I think was the original uh experiment. And and your future self of 10 years from now are complete strangers. You know. So how do you begin to, as you were saying, cultivate that empathy for essentially a complete stranger? I'm never going to meet my future self, but how do I take care of that person?

SPEAKER_02 15:30

I like that. How do you take care of someone that you've never met, someone that you don't have the ability to understand their needs? And you're just kind of guessing. But you can have an idea of what they want by looking at your values, looking at the habits that you're putting into place, because if you understand your values, you probably will have a bit of an idea of what they might want. And the way to get there are the habits that you cultivate, you know, and that's where a big thing for me. Um I love to hear people talk about, you know, managing portfolios and things like that. But to me, what I really like to hear people talk about because the portfolios are interesting, but like, hey, you're speaking a language that I don't really understand, but habits, habits is something I understand, you know, because I've seen people that you give them. I've I've worked with kids, man. I walk into a room of kids and I go, hey guys, Chips Ahoy's cookies, put them on my desk, but don't eat them. I'll be back in a minute. Those cookies are gone. Like they will not be there when I come back. As much as my students are well behaved, they're gonna be like, it's it's cookie time, cookies are gone. And it starts with one kid, and one kid is just gonna be like, mm-hmm, and then it's done. But it's the habits, you know, and what's one small habit that can completely change someone's financial life over time, even if they're not making a lot of money.

SPEAKER_00 17:06

Well I I think that I would be tempted to try to find some sort of answer that sounds like it has to do with money. But the simplest truth is that the foundational habit you need is to be able to pause and notice um whether it's uh I'm feeling I'm feeling stressed right now about this purchase. Is it because it's not the right decision, or is it because this is something that really matters and I'm not sure if if I'm doing it quite right, or maybe I want to research a little bit more? Or or it's uh it's just something that uh that has to happen, but it feels like it's too big right now. There's something else going on. Uh or is this purchase something that I'm doing to try to take care of a of a need, but maybe it's it's not necessarily the right way to go. Maybe I could take care of it another way. Um so I think being able to pause, notice and and either wait or or act as needed. And accept when you make the decision. This is the decision I have made now. This does not have to define how I make decisions forever. I'm trying it out. Let's see if this one works. Tomorrow I might make a dis different decision. And I know that I'm doing my best right now.

SPEAKER_02 18:45

Right. Right? I think that that's one of the things that to me is is huge. I find that I deal with a lot of guilt financially. When I'm trying to build, I'm trying to build my company, I'm reinvesting, and then I turn around and I go, where did my emergency fund go? Where did that stockpile of cash go that I had set aside for stuff? Oh, well, I tapped it because this emergency came up, this fire came up, this thing came up. And I start beating myself up instead of going. If I could look at myself five years ago and tell them what I'm doing right now and where I'm at right now, five years ago, Sean would go, Way to go, man. That's awesome. Wow, I'm blown away that you're doing that. That's amazing. And they that old version of myself might be really scared. And I'd have to go, it's okay. We get the tools. We get the tools one step at a time. But you know, I would consider myself smart and hardworking, but I'm one of those people that's smart and hardworking that still ends up stressed about money all the time. And why do you think that happens? Why do people that are smart and hardworking still end up stressed about money?

SPEAKER_00 20:06

That one is that one is tough because we would really like the world to work in such a way that if we can know the things and do the things, we won't have to feel negative feelings. But that's that's not always how it works. Sometimes sometimes the the stress is is like you said, it's it's growing pains, it's things that or emergencies that come up, things that matter, things that are legitimately uh stressful or scary, perhaps. And um the stress is not something to be avoided, but it's about how to how to deal with it compassionately, like you were saying, right? You know, seeing being able to put it in the context of what you what you have already accomplished, what you're working towards, the steps that you're taking to take care of yourself. And yeah, you you can't you can't smart your way out of stress, unfortunately. Um I wish I wish that I could. Sometimes sometimes stress is also just saying, hey, pause, take a sip of that tea.

SPEAKER_02 21:21

Yeah. I think that one of the things that I forget, I felt very overwhelmed today. And I mean, I deal with anxiety a lot. I have uh anxiety disorder that is an old friend that I work with and I have an understanding of. And there's some days where we are our relationship is intact and we sit there and look at each other going, Are we okay today? We're okay today. Today was not one of those days. Today was one of those days where I kept it together, but it was not easy. And why I bring that up is because. Sometimes you do just have to slow down and be patient and go. It's okay to be where I'm at. You know, and you know, I want to ask you this because if someone feels totally overwhelmed financially and doesn't know where to start, what's the first thing you would tell them to do today?

SPEAKER_00 22:17

Breathe. Recognize the courage it takes to ask that question. What what is it that's overwhelming in this moment? And what can you set aside while you take a moment to breathe? What is it that rises to the surface as something that's really truly important to you that you want to figure out how to address? Set that down and breathe. What is it that will help keep you showing up to this question? Because it's not a question that can be answered in one sitting. What will keep you coming back to take care of yourself? Breathe. Recognize your courage and strength that has gotten you to this point. And how can you take a moment to build that compassion for not only your past self, but your future self on this journey?

SPEAKER_02 23:15

I think breathing is one of the most underrated things that we can do. You know, I I um today when I was overwhelmed, the thing that I came back to was taking a breath and to recognize that there was a great actor's roundhouse that I saw with Tom Hanks and some other people. And they were like, What advice would you have? And Tom was like, Tom, I got to work with him on a movie as a very wise person. He's a very, really interesting person. And his advice in the actors' roundhouse was, this too shall pass. You know, this too shall pass. Whatever you're working on, whatever has you stirred up in that moment, this too shall pass. However, the market is is bouncing around at that moment, this too shall pass. You know, and I think that if you can weather those storms and start building the habits to it's easier to say this too shall pass when you have a financial safety net, when you've created an emergency fund, when you've put aside the money that you need to put aside so you don't feel as scared and overwhelmed. You know, I think that that's one of the challenges is when you are not setting aside that stuff, and then suddenly someone gets blindsided, it's hard to breathe. It's it's one of the toughest things you can do at that moment, but it's one of the most important. But uh you do a lot of pro bono and community focused work. What have those experiences taught you about the emotional side of money?

SPEAKER_00 25:00

I think it on the most basic level, it it has really driven home the the statistic that we we see so often, which is that so so few people nowadays have even one person that they feel comfortable talking with deeply about about money and finance. And um I think personally it's it's so important for for me to be able to to give back. Um I think in this profession we have so many opportunities uh and so much that we can give that that we don't I think I hear from people when when they're considering doing pro bono work that they're concerned that that the knowledge they have is not going to necessarily apply uh because they work with higher income folks and uh and some the the pro bono might be going through different circumstances. And I think uh it comes back to me, uh circles back uh for me up to um my my first my very first real interview outfit uh was from a was from a nonprofit for low-income folks. And uh it provided there there was uh a wardrobe of donated clothing, there was a stylist who donated her time, there was career coaching and that um that ability to go in and get, you know, basically what's you know, a lot of people probably just had in the back of their closet and they never were thinking that, you know, they were thinking they will never wear it again. But that gave me the such great confidence to go into the this scary situation of like I really need a job, but I also want to get the right job for me and one that will that will pay the bills. And I I think it's important to remember that just as you were talking about having compassion for your past self who or and and talking to your your past self who would be so thrilled at where you are. There is so much knowledge that that we all have have accumulated that if we can share a little bit of it with compassion, like just, you know, it might even to us be like this this blouse that we'll never we're never going to wear again. And who knows if we even like it anymore. Maybe we never even wore it. Was it a terrible decision? It was probably excessive. We give it away though, and it changes somebody's life. Right.

SPEAKER_02 27:53

It does change someone's life. I made a post today about that because I have people that I know that are creating content and they don't know if it's making an impact. But I do know that stuff that I've created has had an impact. My wife is a famous singer in Vietnam. We've done family branding for a while. We do inspirational music and content. And when I go places, people know us. I have people come up to me and go, Oh, you're Sean, you're V's husband. You guys are so inspiring, you know? And it makes me remember that if you keep showing up, if you do things again and again and again and you do it in the right way, you can have an impact. You can make a change in people's lives, but you have to continue showing up. And I think that's one of the biggest things for me is how are you showing up today? How are you showing up and letting people see, you know, what's good in you, the best in you, the great parts of you, you know? So I think that it's about, you know, the way that people are showing up of themselves, you know, and it's like, and I think one of the problems too is like we have social media making it seem like everyone is rich. They're traveling, they're buying houses and investing perfectly. Like, you know, it's overwhelming. Like I sit there and watch social media, and I'm like, oh, I'm failing right now. But then I realize those people probably don't have it all together as well. Like, how do you regular people stop comparing themselves and build a financial life that actually fits them? And I mean, I think this comes back to our early the biome. Are you in, you know, what biome are you you leaning into, you know?

SPEAKER_00 29:37

Yeah, I um well, I mean, first of all, this this idea that um keeping up with other people's lifestyles or purchases is going to make us happy, this you know, conspicuous conception and and people marketing and making money off of that mindset is it's not new. It just seems like there are so many avenues to be bombarded with it, right? Um and I I agree to your as um as you were saying, it's it's partially a matter of of breaking away from that comparison point and saying, like, I need to measure up to this. And uh you know, I was my husband and I went recently to see uh a local Monet exhibit. And I am never going to the the way that I go on a vacation in Venice, if I ever go to Venice, is never going to measure up to the way that that Monet vacationed in Venice. That's not that's not what I'm going to do, right? Um but I I can still appreciate that the the amazing uh ingenuity and the variety and diversity in the ways that people show up in the world, uh, and and say how cool it is that people can have these different experiences of living life that and and seeming hopefully and actually being fulfilled. And how can I find that for myself? Not through the same path, but through finding what really matters to me and taking care of that.

SPEAKER_02 31:31

Maybe it's sailing on your boat with your cat. Maybe it is just finding a place that's quiet and peaceful for you. For me, I I dream of a place that I can be with my wife and daughter and have financial freedom where I can log on and do podcasts like this, and that I can have the ability to spread positivity and hope. And I sit there and I look at it like this this far away place. And then suddenly I realize it's where I'm at. It's the path that I'm on right now. But yet, can I start enacting those tools to make this place that I'm already at a little bit better? And I think that, you know, one of the most valuable things in my life is I was always looking at that that grass over there. The grass is greener, the grass is greener. But then people around me are looking at the grass that I have and go, wow, your grass is so good. And I think that if you stop looking and realize that where you're standing is probably one of the best places you can be. It is a very, very healthy place to be. I want to ask you this question. If a family sat down with you and said, we just want to stop feeling anxious about money, what would you say to them?

SPEAKER_00 32:49

I would thank them for for having the the courage to show up and ask that question. Um I think I would have to acknowledge that there are all sorts of reasons for why people might feel anxious. And so, you know, what what is what's going on right now? What is bringing up some of this anxiety? And you know, there and also say there are a lot of ways to to work with money to address anxiety, to address your your goals and your hopes and your dreams. And it's gonna take a a lot of little experiments and a lot of uh conversation and reflection. And you you will find a way forward.

SPEAKER_01 33:42

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 33:43

Thank you for finding your way here.

SPEAKER_02 33:45

I love that. I love that. Where can people go to find out more about you and what you do?

SPEAKER_00 33:53

So I I am on LinkedIn. That is my only social media to at you know, to your point of uh of the comparison trap. I I have limited myself to social media, to to one social media. Um and if you're in the San Francisco Bay Area, uh you could show up at an FPA meeting or or financial planning day in October. So I'll be there.

SPEAKER_02 34:20

So that's awesome. That's really awesome. Well, I want to say thank you so much for coming on today. It was beautiful, and I appreciate so much of what you shared. And you have a book coming out. Can you tell us a little bit about that? Can you tell us what is your book about and was when's it coming?

SPEAKER_00 34:39

My book is coming out on September 13th, uh, which is uh Grandparents' Day. It's dedicated to my grandma. It's called Budget Spaghetti, the cozy way to craft a budget that feels like home. So it's very much about the the the process of finding finding that cozy path forward. So it it is a 12-week journey and uh goes from observation to experimentation and then sustaining the habits.

SPEAKER_02 35:12

I love that. What why did you write this book? What was it that motivated you and what what need did you think needed to be met?

SPEAKER_00 35:20

I think uh you mentioned um the tendency towards the super strict, restrictive budgets. And I, you know, my dad had me start budgeting when I was in second grade our dollar a week allowance and only 25 cents weren't to spending. And my sister and I only really wanted to buy paperback books, so it took five months to buy a book. Um we got really good at at looking for pennies on the ground. But um, I think that you know, over time I found how important it is to be able to have a habit of budgeting to fall back on, but also that uh I think my my view of of budgeting has also expanded to to recognize that that it needs to be something that I can feel good about, something that that addresses my my needs and hopes and values and and allows me to feel comfortable in my own life. And so how do I build a budget that that does those things for me?

SPEAKER_02 36:26

I love that. And then once you you can share that with the people that need that information, you know, and so beautiful. Well, I want to thank you for coming today, for sharing about this beautiful book, and for just sharing your time. And hopefully, um anyone listening who's dealing with anxiety, um just breathe. At the end of this video, I would have never done this before, but I'm gonna I'm gonna tell my editors to do this. Um I'm just gonna play five minutes of really peaceful music. And I'd love to ask that if you are dealing with some anxiety or challenges or whatever you got, just take this space to breathe. And hopefully it helps, because I know it helps me.

SPEAKER_00 37:17

Yes, I think I'll do that for five minutes as well, so I'll I'll join you all.