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Curating Grief: Charlene Lam on Choosing What to Keep vs Release After Loss

GRIEF AND LIGHT

Chapters
0:00
Preview & Intro Song
0:45
Introducing Charlene Lam
2:13
What is "Curating Grief?"
7:45
Exploring Different "Curating Grief" Scenarios
11:59
Continuing Bonds and Anchors in Grief
17:47
Curating Yosef's Gallery
23:34
"Meaningful Objects": The Significance of Everyday Items
28:28
Soy Sauce, Curating Grief book, Keeping what's important
34:38
Embracing the "woo" (a little)
35:38
Curating Grief in Places and Spaces, Reclaiming Narrative, Rome and Joy
46:21
Grief and Culture, Chinese Heritage
53:20
Connect with Charlene Lam
55:19
Curating Grief is an Ongoing Process
56:19
One Object that Holds Unexpected Meaning, Immigration-related Grief
59:59
Final Question
GRIEF AND LIGHT
Curating Grief: Charlene Lam on Choosing What to Keep vs Release After Loss
Dec 23, 2025 Season 4 Episode 101
Nina Rodriguez

How do we decide what to keep after a loved one dies? 

In this insightful episode, Nina Rodriguez is joined by grief coach, curator of The Grief Gallery™, and author, Charlene Lam, for a deeply human conversation about curating grief: the tender, often overwhelming process of choosing what to keep after loss.

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Video version available here.

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After the sudden death of her mother in 2013, Charlene found herself alone with the responsibility of sorting through her mom’s belongings. That experience became the foundation for her work, including the 10 Object Method, a reflective practice that invites grievers to select a small number of meaningful items as a way of honoring relationships, reclaiming narrative, and maintaining continuing bonds.

Together, Nina and Charlene explore the emotional weight of everyday objects, the cultural and personal lenses that shape grief, and the evolving nature of our connection to those who have died. This conversation reminds us that grief is not something to complete or solve, it is something we live with, curate, and carry forward in ways that are deeply personal and uniquely our own.

Whether you’re facing a house full of belongings, grieving a loss beyond death, or simply wondering how memory and meaning intertwine, this episode offers language, permission, and companionship.

Key Takeaways

  • Curating grief is about choosing what holds meaning, not following rules.
  • The 10 Object Method offers a gentle framework for honoring relationships after loss.
  • Belongings can feel emotionally overwhelming, especially when time and resources are limited.
  • Objects often serve as anchors for memory, identity, and continuing bonds.
  • Grief is not static; our relationship with those we’ve lost evolves over time.
  • Everyday items can carry deep symbolic and emotional weight.
  • Grief extends beyond death and includes many forms of loss.
  • Curating memories helps us reclaim our personal narratives.
  • Cultural perspectives shape how grief is experienced and expressed.
  • Sharing stories keeps connection alive and helps reduce isolation.

Guest: Charlene Lam

Hosted by: Nina Rodriguez

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