In a world where grief is often tied to family ties and romantic relationships, the loss of a friend can feel isolating and unrecognized.

Hannah Rumsey is a writer, certified Grief Educator, and the founder of Friends Missing Friends. After losing her best friend Lauren in 2015, Hannah went searching for support and found almost nothing. No grief groups. Not even a Google search result that addressed her experience directly. What she found instead was disenfranchised grief, a term that changed everything.

In this episode, Hannah and Nina explore why friend-loss is one of the most overlooked and invalidated forms of grief, and what it costs us when we leave it out of the conversation. Hannah shares the story of how she found out about Lauren's death (through a birthday post on Facebook), what it took to sit five feet away from the man responsible for her friend's death during his trial in Spain, the stunning sign she received from Lauren through her phone, and why she believes Lauren has been pulling strings from the other side ever since.

They also talk about the false hierarchy of grief, what it means to question whether your own loss "counts," and why being around people who simply believe you — without explanation or qualification — can be one of the most healing experiences a friend-loss griever can have.

In this episode:

• What disenfranchised grief is and why friend-loss fits squarely inside it
• The false hierarchy of love (and grief) our society has built
• Why finding out about a friend's death through social media is more common than we think
• The Netflix documentary The Predator of Seville and Lauren's story
• How Hannah sat in the courtroom five feet from the man who killed her friend
• The moment Lauren's photo appeared on Hannah's phone, updated by Lauren
• Why friend-loss grievers feel pressure to qualify and explain their own loss
• How grief rituals can be personal, messy, and entirely your own
• The Friends Missing Friends Collective, an online community for friend-loss grievers
• What Hannah would say (and not say) to herself on the day she lost Lauren

Connect with Hannah Rumsey:

• Friends Missing Friends (website, online membership, and podcast): friendsmissingfriends.com
• IG @friendsmissingfriends
• Netflix documentary: The Predator of Seville

If you've ever lost a friend and felt like you had to explain why it mattered, this episode is for you.

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Grief and Light is an award-winning, independent podcast exploring the honest, messy, and deeply human experience of loss. We're on a mission to foster a more grief-informed, hopeful world, one conversation at a time. 

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Connect with Nina Rodriguez:

• griefandlight.com
• @griefandlight
• Resting Grief Face on Substack

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