CYBEX Hot Mom Walk Podcast

CYBEX Hot Mom Walk Episode #15: Formula Feeding with Jenna Christie

• CYBEX • Season 2 • Episode 15

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In this episode, our CYBEX Mama Mentor Search Grand Prize winner, Jenna Christie (@jennamaaac), is here to give the straight goods about her feeding journey as a new mom. She candidly recounts the issues she struggled with first hand, and how in the end she chose what was best for her, her daughter, and her whole family.

So if you're looking for a new 'formula fed' mom friend, look no further - she's right here.

Show notes:
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https://www.instagram.com/jennamaaac

Hello and welcome to the Cybex Hot Mom Walk podcast. Cybex started this series as a recent study found that 80 % of women at three months postpartum say they feel more alone than ever. Designed to help mitigate feeling isolated, the Cybex Hot Mom Walk podcast series aims to help moms across North America cope with the feeling of isolation and the huge identity shift that comes with parenthood. What's up mama? My name is Jenna Christie.

I'm so stoked to be here today and to be your host of this episode of the Cybex Hot Mom Walk podcast. If you don't know who I am, I was actually the grand prize winner of the Cybex Mama Mentor Contest, which is crazy because I don't win anything, but I'm a contest girly and I will enter everything. Like I am that girl tagging you on Instagram, but my toxic trait is believing I will win every contest that I enter.

And I never do, but this one I did. And to be honest, if I could have picked out of all the contests I've ever entered, if I could pick the one I got to win, I truly would have picked this one. I am just so excited to be able to connect with other moms and talk about the thing I love more than anything in the world, which is motherhood and just share with you the ups, the downs, the cute, the not so cute. Let's do it all. Like no shame here. Let's, I'm so excited. So let's jump in. Because I plan to, you know,

get pretty deep and like tell you things that I would probably only tell my best friend and genuinely can't believe I'm gonna be talking about for anyone to hear and listen to. Let's introduce myself a little more so you can get to know me a little better. Let's vibe. Okay, so yeah, I'm 33 years old. My birthday's actually next week. I have a 13 -month -year -old daughter named Lucy. I work in social media for like a corporate.

company by day, but by night I do it all baby. Okay. I am an entrepreneur. I have a small business with my sister. I am also a very mediocre athlete. I'm actually running the Buffalo half marathon tomorrow, completely unprepared. Like I should have trained for this and I didn't, my friends like, do you want a free bib? And I'm such a yes girl. I'm like, yes, I do. Let's go. And I was at the expo today and I was like, Holy smokes. I don't know how this is going to go, but I'll follow up about that. Doing my first.

Triathlon in four weeks, which is crazy. And this is all stuff I'm actually gonna get into my other episodes and my mom golds episode. Just because your mom doesn't mean you can't do really, really cool things. So we'll talk about that later, but this episode is one I knew I wanted to make when I was talking to the Cybex team and they were like, we need you to come up with three podcast episodes. I was like, are you sure? Like, honey, are you sure? I...

Am I the girl for this? Do you want me doing this? But they said yes. And this was the episode I knew right away that I wanted to make. The other ones were a little harder for me to come up with, but this was one, something so close to my heart and something I needed so desperately back when I was in the thick of it all. So this is the episode that I wish I could have sent to myself 13 months ago. It's the episode that I hope I get to send to a friend who is in the thick of it and like needs.

to hear from someone who's been there. I hope this is an episode that you send to your friends. And if you are in the thick of it and you pick this episode because you need to hear from someone who's been through it, I'm here to tell you, you are my friend and I'm absolutely here for you. So let's get into it. Let's talk about it. So why am I teasing this so much? Like you don't know obviously from the title. This podcast is gonna be talking about formula feeding, my journey to accepting that.

I was going to exclusively formula feed my baby and what kind of led me there, what I learned and what I wish I could have told myself back then. Let's paint a picture and take it back. Like let's take it back to nine month pregnant whale Jenna, who was just so ready to have this baby out and talk about my first mistake. And my first mistake was thinking that the question, do you plan to breastfeed was a yes or no question because it's not. So for some people it is. And actually let's be clear here for a second.

If you are listening to this and you did breastfeed your baby, you're a queen. I want you to know in my eyes, you are an absolute queen and a part of me is so dang jealous of you. Like I wanted that so bad. So, and you should be proud of yourself. I'm proud of you. And I want you to know that you should also be proud of yourself because that is hard. Breastfeeding is so...

But yeah, taking it back, I wish I was a little bit more open -minded to how hard breastfeeding can be. I remember my girlfriend Julia, who has a baby four months older than mine. And I went over like the first week she had the baby and was talking to her. And she's like, she kind of gave me like, she gave me a forewarning. Like she was like, breastfeeding is really hard. So you know what I did? You know what my dumb, dumb self did? I was like, okay, perfect.

It's hard. I'm going to listen to a podcast that'll solve it. I was literally like, I'm going to listen to a podcast on how to breastfeed and I'm going to know. And then I'm going to be so prepared for when the baby comes. That is like saying I'm going to listen to a podcast so I can do the 500 meter in the Olympics. It's it just like, doesn't work like that. Like listening to something is not like breastfeed. You have to do it and learn and learn, you know, how your body works and how your baby works. There's just so much more to it. So first mistake was just thinking that breastfeeding was easy.

So there I was nine months pregnant. Remember like pumping colostrum like in the tub, like squeezing colostrum out of my nips. And I was just like, I am ready. I'm ready to look at all this liquid gold. I have listened to my podcast. I have squeezed the colostrum out of my nippies. I am going to be a breastfeeding boss. Spoiler alert, you.

We're not. Anyway, let's jump ahead. I have now, the baby has exited my womb and is on my chest and we're doing golden hour. I had her at like 430 in the morning. The sun is coming up. I'm so lucky to say that I had an absolutely fabulous birth. So I am feeling just like ultimate woman right now. And they're like, it's time to breastfeed. And I was like, perfect. I've listened to a podcast on this. So I put her up to me and she like latches on. I was absolutely bamboozled. I was like,

What is this? Like it felt like a barracuda with sandpaper teeth, like grinding on, it was truly unbelievable. I don't know if this was just me or if the first time you do this, it kind of feels like that for everybody. But I remember just like being like, okay, I guess this is what breastfeeding is. This really hurts, but whatever. I'm like, can someone turn up the epidural so I don't feel this.

But whatever, I'm just taking it all in and trying to avoid the fact that I think my nipples are going to be manually removed by this baby's gums. But whatever, we keep going. And then I remember eventually they're like, okay, that looks good. And I was like, thank goodness. And they're like, let's do try the other side. And I was like, what? Girl, no.

we did we tried the other side and it felt the exact same it was brutal but whatever i was like i guess that's what breastfeeding is or maybe i'll get used to it i don't know your home and it's still bad like every time i have to feed her it's so bad i am an absolute slave to that helical berry app and i remember every time it was like almost time to feed again i would just get this like i don't even know this like

crippling fear and anxiety because I knew how painful it was and you don't know, right? Like you don't know what breastfeeding is supposed to feel like. Does this feel wrong or is this just normal? And I'm being a baby. It's really hard to tell. But I remember, you know, I worked with midwives. So I remember telling my midwives and they were kind of like, eh, like maybe we'll assess her for a tongue tie. They got one look at that baby's mouth and they were like, yeah, she has a very severe tongue tie. So we're going to get this fixed and it'll solve everything. And I'm like,

Thank goodness. So we take her in to get her tongue tie fixed at like two weeks old. And that is also crazy. If you have to do that, I'm here to warn you, like that's wild. Like not the procedure itself. They do a fantastic job. It's super quick, but it's afterwards. Like the way they're like, you have to do these exercises with your brand new baby's tongue. Like that can be another episode. That's crazy. But anyway, we get the tongue tie resolved and we're continuing to breastfeed. And every appointment after that, there are like,

isn't it so much better now that the tongue ties fix? And I was kind of like, no, like it wasn't. I don't, I, it was so annoying because I was like, this is supposed to fix everything and it wasn't, it wasn't fixing everything. And that's another really hard thing I feel.

like that moms go through when breastfeeding maybe isn't working out. You know, I talked to the midwives and I talked to lactation consultants and I feel like everybody was kind of telling me like, well, yeah, like breastfeeding is really hard. Keep going. You can do it mama. So I did what they said and I kept going mama. I kept doing it. And then I specifically remember the day that it all just came crashing down. I was like, I can like picture myself in third person. I'm sitting in our like really cute, bougie little rocking chair, like rocking her with her on me feeding and I am.

uncontrollably sobbing. Like my lap is wet, the baby is drenched. We are just covered in tears and my husband comes in and he's like, what are you doing? Like, why are you doing this to yourself? And I didn't have an answer. Cause if you've been there, you know how like complex that is. And like so many ways I didn't have an answer, but I knew in that moment I needed to do something different for my own sake. And I wasn't ready to turn to formula. So I got out the good old pump. I got out the pump and I started, you know, that neep, neep.

I got out the pump and I started pumping and I remember that morning I was like going to a postpartum fitness class and before I went I fed her a bottle of pumped milk and I remember immediately she was like a different baby like she was content like before they would ask me like how long you know how long will she feed for before she pulls off I'm like forever like she would never pull off she was never content and when I gave her this bottle when she was done she pulled away she was just like laying there not screaming and then she fell asleep I was like is

Are you, is this what being satisfied feels like for you? Like, are you finally not hungry? And like that right there is like a whole emotional thing. Just thinking that when I was doing it myself, maybe I wasn't getting her enough. I don't know. We don't need to get into that, but whatever. I give her the bottle of pumped milk and it's so good. And I was like, okay, this is what we're going to do. So I began pumping. I spent one month exclusively pumping. And I'm here to tell you, if you pump, you are a queen. You're a queen and I love you because that is also so ridiculously hard. Like it's insane.

Pumping is absolutely insane. The amount of like mental preparation and amount of time you spent like with the pump on and then trying to keep the milk cold and then getting the milk warm. If you pump mama, you're an absolute queen. But I knew pumping that it just wasn't going to be a long -term solution for us. I was like, there is no way I can do this for a year. Like it just wasn't compatible with my lifestyle. And that's okay if you feel like that too, that's absolutely okay. But I also want to make it clear that,

There is a very short list of humans that I would attach a sucking apparatus to my nipples for, but that little girl is on the very top of that list. If I had to, I would absolutely pump every day for the rest of my life. So I spent the next month trying to realize that I didn't have to pump every day for the rest of my life. And there was an alternative. I started to resent.

pumping and how like I really didn't like having to remove myself from situations. I mean, you can't pump in public if you're pumping in public. I give you a high five girlfriend. I'd be like, yeah, honey, do you need me to take them out and put in the fridge for you? Cause like you go girl. But like for me, you know, my father -in -law is here. My dad's there. I don't want to, I didn't want to pump in front of everybody. So I'd like go sit by myself. And I was like, what?

doing this? Like I have this newborn baby and I'm sitting in this room by myself with my robo titty tubes. Like no thanks. The day finally arrived where I was like okay like I hate this. Like I really really hated pumping but I also just hated that my next step was going to have to be formula and I had a jar of formula in my cupboard from like I think from day one. Like from the day we had her that I just was there if we needed it but also

I would constantly convince myself that we did not need it. And I remember also making that first. This is what I always say. I remember making that first bottle. Okay. I shucked up that bottle of formula and I remember it so vividly and I was bawling my eyes out. I was absolutely sobbing. I don't know what it was. I just felt like that was like me finally throwing in the towel and feeding her a bottle of formula. And what I tell people is I bawled my eyes out making that first bottle, but I have not cried a single tear.

since and I'm going to come right out and say it that formula genuinely changed motherhood for me and I make a lot of content about my formula feeding journey and of course I've gotten you know some hostile comments and people saying like why are you pro formula like breast is best like why would you do this to your baby like some honestly pretty hurtful things which first of all honey two things wrong I'm not pro formula I'm not like as I said if you're a breastfeeding mom queen love that and I think you should do I am pro doing what works best for you and your family like

every aspect of motherhood. I don't care what it is. I'm going to tell you I am pro what works for you. Secondly, that is not helpful. Like telling someone that you think breast is best is just not a helpful sentence. Like use your words to either help them learn to breastfeed or help them accept formula. Let's not talk about the haters. That is why I'm here to talk about it and get you through this. so yeah.

I don't know if you watched my video, my application video, I talk with this and I get emotional. I cried in my video. Embarrassing, but also whatever. And I say something in that video that I wish I could tell every single new mom who's going through this or feeling the way I did. And I wish I could just give her a big hug and say to her, you know what? This baby deserves the best version of you. And if you feel like, you know, postpartum hormones aside, sleep deprivation aside, if you just feel like, and you'll know.

Like you'll know and if you're not being able to be the best version of yourself for your baby, it's okay to give yourself permission to look into your other options. And speaking of permission, hot tip, you're not going to find it anywhere. Cause I looked, I looked all over the internet. I just like feel like I wanted to find like a Reddit thread that was like, you know, if your baby has a tongue tie, you need to be doing formula. Like it just, I was like looking for it to be like outward.

telling me I needed to switch my baby instead of being a decision that I needed to make. I'll talk about some of the things that kind of like helped me accept that and helped me make that decision to switch. And one of the biggest ones was honestly talking to other formula moms, other formula moms that were like, you know, in my network and like, I would look at their baby and I'd be like, my gosh, like you're formula fed and you're still smart and sweet and cute.

all the amazing things that babies are. So find other formula mom friends. You've just found your first one. Hi, it's me. Like I also know talking about it can also be hard because sometimes that can make you feel like you are the only formula mom out there and like everybody is breastfeeding their baby until they're 18 months old. But I promise if you seek them out or if you know, that's why I honestly I post about.

my formula feeding because I was like, girl, if you want to talk to me, I will talk to you. Let's send each other memes about breastfeeding and how hard it is. Like I talk about it because I want people to talk about it and I want it to be accepted and more people to realize that it's okay. Another thing that like really opened my eyes and kind of changed my mindset to the whole formula feeding thing was thinking about it this way. So I felt like when I switched her to formula, people who knew that thought that I didn't care about her as much or I was being selfish.

I know, and I know to this day, some people still think that, which is crazy, but okay. But then thinking about babies who cannot be breastfed, thinking about adopted babies, are they cared or loved for any less because their adoptive mom isn't able to breastfeed? Or think about same -sex couples where there isn't an option to breastfeed. Are those babies loved any less? Moms with medical issues or moms with physical disabilities, like, no, they're not loved any less. Like we need to stop.

putting this pressure on ourselves and on other moms and remember that you matter, your mental health matters and you need to do what's right for you and your baby. The amount of like DMs and messages I've gotten from moms who have resonated with my formula content has been absolutely surreal. Like it's just been so...

eye opening and honestly has made me feel less alone. So that's why I'm so passionate about this topic and want to share it with you. And honestly, if one person walks away from this, being able to think like, you know what, I am still a damn good mom and I need to do what's right for me, whatever that is, I don't care what it is. Maybe you're deciding to go to the pump. Maybe you're exciting to go to formula or maybe you're deciding that you want to keep giving this a shot. I want you to know that I am so unbelievably proud of you.

I'm so proud of you. And if you do decide to switch, a couple of other hurdles I had was just thinking that things were gonna change a lot. I remember thinking, obviously a lot of people talk about the bond and losing that bond of breastfeeding. I'm here to tell you, she had no clue if she was sucking on a booby or a bottle. All she knew is that she was snuggled up close to mom and that she wasn't wet from my tears anymore.

And she also just had like such a great temperament. It was weird that I thought that like maybe formula would like change her personality or something. Also not true. That didn't happen. The poops are smellier. I'll tell you that for free. The poops, the formula poops are a little smellier than breast milk poops, but you get used to it pretty quick. And now looking back like 13 months postpartum, it's so crazy. Like now my baby is no longer on formula. She is no longer on breast milk. She drinks regular milk and eats.

literally anything she can find, including the dog food. It's wild to realize what a blimp that was in time and what I would give to be able to go back to myself who was like sitting in that rocking chair crying. I wish I could just be like, you have everything you've ever wanted in your arms right now. Like you don't need to be sad.

because this isn't working out, like enjoy what you have because it truly fleets so, so fast. So like cherish every moment and give yourself grace. It's all gonna be okay. From a formula mom, it's all gonna be okay. All right, I promise you. And I think that's where I'm gonna wrap this up. I'm so grateful for you listening to my journey. And if this helped you in any way whatsoever, make my day, send me a DM, let me know. Also remember to leave a review on the podcast. And one more thing.

Remember, you're a hot mom. Thanks for tuning in to the Cybex Hot Mom Walk podcast series. Follow the Cybex Spotify channel for more updates and for new episodes.