Good Neighbor Podcast Live

Dr. Zoya Simakhodskaya brings relationship healing to couples.

• Garfield Bowen

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When was the last time you thought about the health of your relationship? In this revealing conversation with Dr. Zoya Simakhodskaya, founder of the Center for Psychological and Interpersonal Development, we explore the often misunderstood world of couples therapy and relationship healing.

Dr. Simakhodskaya shares her remarkable journey from Ukrainian immigrant to renowned clinical psychologist, couples therapist, and sex therapist. With warmth and wisdom, she dismantles the common misconceptions that keep couples from seeking help—particularly the fear that therapists will assign blame or automatically recommend separation. "Couples wait an average of seven years from the beginning of problems to come for help," she reveals, explaining how this delay makes healing significantly more challenging.

What makes this conversation particularly fascinating is Dr. Simakhodskaya's unique perspective on relationships, informed by her surprising passion for Argentinian tango. She draws compelling parallels between this improvisational dance—which requires presence, connection, and mutual listening—and the dynamics of healthy relationships. This metaphor offers listeners a fresh way to understand what makes partnerships thrive.

For those curious about relationship support beyond traditional therapy, Dr. Simakhodskaya highlights her upcoming workshop, "Hold Me Tight, Hold Me Just Right," focused on physical, sexual, and emotional intimacy. This alternative approach demonstrates her commitment to making relationship healing accessible through multiple pathways.

Whether you're currently navigating relationship challenges or simply want to strengthen your connection, Dr. Simakhodskayaa's insights offer valuable guidance for anyone seeking deeper, more fulfilling relationships. Visit cpidnyc.com to learn more about the Center for Psychological and Interpersonal Development and their innovative approaches to relationship healing.

Speaker 1:

This is the Good Neighbor Podcast, the place where local businesses and neighbors come together. Here's your host, Garfield Bowen.

Speaker 2:

Welcome to the Good Neighbor Podcast Live. Today I have a treat for you. I have Dr Zoya Simhaskaya with the Center of Psychological and Interpersonal Development. Zoya, how are you doing today?

Speaker 3:

I'm doing great. It's a beautiful day in New York City and I'm here with you.

Speaker 2:

Listen, I heard the horns beeping out there.

Speaker 3:

Yes, they are.

Speaker 2:

We're excited to learn all about you and your business. Tell us a little bit about your business and what you do there.

Speaker 3:

I am a clinical psychologist and a couples therapist and a sex therapist and my center provides a lot of marital relationship, couples, family therapy and some individual therapy as well for relationships that are, you know, struggling with connection and disconnection and communication and cetera, as many of us can relate to, and we also do some workshops for couples. That's another thing that we do, that we're very excited about, and I can tell you more.

Speaker 2:

I guess in the early stage it could be a lot of fun for couples in the early stage. So how did you get into this business?

Speaker 3:

So, how did you get into this business? Well, you know, some of us are born with a calling, so I think I was the lucky one. I am an immigrant. I came from Ukraine, from the former Soviet Union, and I didn't think that I would be able to kind of be a healer emotional healer but once I immigratedrated, the dream came true and I always loved helping people families, relationships, groups, to to find a way back to each other, to yourself, to each other. And then in 2011, I started the center where I'm also train other therapists and I do some trainings national, international. It's another passion of mine, but in the center, I sort of proud to say that we provide cannot give high quality support and help. That is not always easy to get. People have a lot of misconceptions about therapy.

Speaker 2:

Since you brought it up, what are some of the misconceptions in your arena?

Speaker 3:

Yeah, I think especially around relationship therapy people are scared. They think if you say we have a problem and you come to the therapist's office, the therapist is going to say, yes, your problem is so big, you've got to break it up, or they will be blamed and somebody will be told I'm a judge, like sort of like they think I'll be a judge and say, hey, it's your fault, no, it's your fault, and um, and that can be really scary. And you don't, you don't know what exactly is going to happen. And so there's, I think, some research out there. Uh, people, couples wait an average of seven years from the beginning of problems to come for help, and which makes it a lot more difficult than if they came earlier or preventatively.

Speaker 3:

I think young generation is a little bit more pro-relationship support. So that's the main one. People are really scared and, it's true, I don't know what's going to happen. But an opportunity to sit with someone who is not just sort of neutral I'm the relationship therapist, so I'm not neutral, I'm pro-relationship but I'm also pro-individual growth and there are times in my own experience where breakup might be the best thing. That happens, but it's not up to me. It comes from sort of clarity, understanding of what's going on between us, because sometimes people want to break up because they just want to be out of pain, and so that's my job to help them see where the pain comes from and whether they can come back together.

Speaker 2:

So that's one of the things. I'm just curious do the male or female are the ones that usually reach out to you or appreciate?

Speaker 1:

you.

Speaker 3:

You know, I think it's changing and now we also have a whole sort of non-binary ideas about genders. It's also dependent. In New York City I'm finding that, you know, it's not that as it used to be more women are reaching out than men. Now I see men reaching out and with the, you know, non-binary people. I don't know, maybe in other parts of the country it might be a little bit different, but I think people you know there's TV shows about couples therapy, there's more talk about it. So I think the person who reaches out is the one that is ringing an alarm bell, it's the one that says something is wrong or let's get some help, and whoever is willing to do it.

Speaker 2:

We know marketing is the heart of every business. Who would you consider your target customers? Of course people are in problems. Do they hit any demographic or age, and how do you attract them currently?

Speaker 3:

I mean honestly, because I've been around for a while. I mean I've been practicing sort of as a licensed practitioner since 2003. So word of mouth has become much more the reason. People come because previous clients tell their friends or whoever, and so they come. I'm also like I mentioned. I teach, I train other therapists, so I'm known in the therapeutic community for the quality work, and so then people refer to the center knowing that we'll.

Speaker 2:

We'll make sure and take care of our clients so the girlfriend, probably here's the story you need to talk to. I will straighten it out for you I will do my best arrange a session. Have you ever thought about doing your own podcast?

Speaker 3:

No, I mean. People keep asking me why am I not writing a book? Why don't I have a podcast? I don't know, it's not a thing that's occurred to me. I love to teach and I love being live with people. I don't know, Maybe in the future.

Speaker 2:

I see from all that you do, you're a very busy person. When you're not so busy with your business, what do you, what do you like to do for fun?

Speaker 3:

Are you sure you want to know, Because I can go on about my passion for a long time. I, I'm a. I dance Argentinian tango yeah, I really love it. There's a lot of connection between Argentinian tango and therapy and couples relationships. It's really it's an improvised dance where people have to be present and connected and listen to each other and to the music, and I just love it. Now I lead and I follow and I'm part of the community here in New York City. I can go on about that for the next three hours.

Speaker 2:

I think of that scene with Arnold Schwarzenegger in that I forget the name of the movie, but doing the t three hours. I think of that scene with Arnold Schwarzenegger in that I forget the name of the movie but doing the tango there. The lady had a rose in her mouth.

Speaker 3:

Well, that's the kind of tango that media shows. It's not exactly what real Argentinian tango is, but yes.

Speaker 2:

Listen. We're about out of time, but I want you to leave our listeners with one thing If only but one thing they should remember about the Center for Psychological and Interpersonal Development. What would that one thing be that they should remember about your organization?

Speaker 3:

um, that we will take care of them and we will work really hard for them, for their relationships. I also want to plug in, uh, if that's okay, a workshop for couples. So it's not therapy, but it's a workshop for couples my colleague, mike moran, are doing on november one, two in new york city.

Speaker 3:

So if you're listening to it now or in the next couple of months, you can go to my website and find the link. It's called Hold Me Tight, Hold Me Just Right. It's around intimacy physical, sexual, emotional. We love, love giving this workshop, and we hope more couples learn about it. So that's what I would say.

Speaker 2:

Our listeners now just have one word on their lips, and that's how? How can I get more information about the center for psychological interpersonal development?

Speaker 3:

Best way to go to our website. It's not a, it's not an easy one name, but it's cpidnyccom, c-p-i-d-i-d-n-y-ccom. Center for Psychological and Personal Development. You can also search by my name and that's my website and you will find out and you can reach out and we'll respond.

Speaker 2:

For those people that like to just push the numbers on the phone, is there a number you like to share?

Speaker 3:

uh, probably not. Uh, I think if they go, even on their phone, to the, to the website, there's a way to click connect and chat with us and send us a message.

Speaker 2:

Listen, zoe. It's been a pleasure having you on the show and I wish you and your business the very best moving forward.

Speaker 3:

Thank you, it's been my pleasure.

Speaker 1:

Thank you for listening to the Good Neighbor Podcast. To nominate your favorite local businesses to be featured on the show, go to GNPLivecom. That's GNPLivecom, or call 877-934-3302.