Good Neighbor Podcast: Rochester
Bringing Together Local Businesses and Neighbors of Rochester
Good Neighbor Podcast: Rochester
EP#135:Dementia Forward with Deborah Seelhoff
Discover the transformative power of education and compassionate care with our special guest, Deborah Seelhoff on the Good Neighbor Podcast. Deborah, from Dementia Forward, unveils her decade-long journey in dementia care, emphasizing the urgent need for mandatory training for caregivers. She passionately discusses the unique challenges faced by families and care partners, underscoring the importance of understanding and compassion. Deborah's person-centered approach not only clarifies common misconceptions about dementia, but also revolutionizes how communities support those living with these conditions.
Meanwhile, Deborah, highlights the empowering role of education in community growth. Her experiences showcase how educational initiatives can be a catalyst for individual and collective development. We also celebrate the impact of local businesses and leaders, encouraging you to recognize and nominate your favorites. This episode promises to inspire you with stories of dedication and the undeniable power of education to drive change and foster empowerment. Tune in for an enlightening conversation that bridges healthcare and community spirit.
This is the Good Neighbor Podcast, the place where local businesses and neighbors come together. Here's your host, Lisa Swiftney.
Speaker 2:Hi everyone and welcome to episode number 135 of the Good Neighbor Podcast. Today I have with us Deborah Seelhoff and she is with Dementia Forward. How are you doing this morning, deborah?
Speaker 3:Doing great, thank you.
Speaker 2:Great. Thank you so much for being a guest on our Good Neighbor podcast my pleasure. So let's start off by telling our listeners about your business. What is Dementia Forward so.
Speaker 3:Dementia Forward. As we know, dementia has touched most of us in one way or another, so Dementia Forward is a program specifically designed to educate communities, family members, care partners in order to give the person living with dementia the best care. Dementia care is very different than elder care. I do presentations at memory care facilities, assisted livings, in churches, in community centers and other gatherings, because it seems like I always find people that have been touched by dementia, and I also do care partner staff training because we want our people to have the best care. So yeah, so that's how this got started people to have the best care.
Speaker 2:So yeah, so that's how this got started.
Speaker 3:So tell our listeners about your journey. How did you get started in this? Well, I started working with people living with dementia about 10 years ago. I helped manage a small group home and there are six residents living with dementia different phases of dementia. The more I spent with them, the more I became really passionate about the people and I wanted to learn more and I also wanted to educate myself and the care partners. So I'm a certified dementia practitioner and I am also certified as a positive approach to care certified dementia trainer and that is through the Teepa Snow program. So I did a lot of educating, I did a lot of studying, so I began training our care partners and it was amazing because I just trained a care partner recently.
Speaker 3:She's been in memory care for 10 years and what I taught her in one hour, she didn't know anything. She didn't. She knew. Been in memory care for 10 years and what I taught her in one hour, she didn't know anything. She didn't. She knew none of that. So I saw the importance of dementia education and right now there is no regulation that requires care partners in memory care to be certified. They do not have to have any dementia training. They do not have to be certified in any sort of dementia care, which Wow.
Speaker 3:So what I saw on my journey was that family members, when they placed a person they didn't know, they know their person has dementia, but what happens is their relationship used to fit together. It was their mom or their wife, and so what happened was that they didn't know how to interact with their person anymore. So it caused strain on the relationship. People would say my mom doesn't remember my name, you know, she doesn't even know I'm here. She didn't even talk to me, so why even bother coming? So I'm here, she didn't even talk to me, so why even bother coming? So I'm just gonna not come. And everybody's sort of pat answer was I want to remember them the way they were. Well, you know they're not that way anymore. So it's sort of a shock when you find out that your person does have dementia. So, like I I said, it strains the relationship. So this made me realize that family members were sort of a population that are left out. You know, we train people to take care of them, but we don't take care of the families. And then they start Googling and then they have no information and it just sort of started to collapse. So I realized that I needed to help them because they're still people, they're not patients.
Speaker 3:There are people living with dementia so we also have to use correct terminology and they're doing the best they can. They live in the moment, which we could all learn from at some point. 90% of their behavior is something we're doing wrong we could be talking too loud, they might be hot, they might be tired and we're bugging them or they might have a UTI. So we have to really be person-centered, focused, and so that's kind of how Thrive Assisted Living came about was because there's only six residents.
Speaker 3:We have two caregivers to six residents from 6 am to 10 pm, so they get a lot of personal one-on-one care and they're all in different you know phases of dementia, but they're some of the most amazing people that I know the stories and the connection you make. But they know how I make them feel and training care partners. I mean they do some pretty intimate care. So when you have someone who's not quite aware of what's going on and you start to do intimate care with them or trying to, you know, get them to change their clothes, they're a stranger to them. So building that relationship to care for them properly and to find out, you know, what their needs are. They'll tell you. It's just that we have to listen.
Speaker 2:Right, I think the listening part is so important.
Speaker 3:Exactly, exactly. We don't tend to listen when you're ready to talk and we want to get our task done. So you know, hurry up, betty. You got to get your dress for breakfast. Well, betty doesn't want to get up, so okay, right.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it doesn't matter. So can you tell us about any myths or misconceptions that you hear about in your industry?
Speaker 3:Yes. So a lot of times people mix up dementia and Alzheimer's. So what dementia is is that dementia is an umbrella term for brain failure, so we should always use that terminology. Now, underneath the umbrella is Alzheimer's, lewy body vascular, frontal Parkinson's. So there's a lot of things that fall under that umbrella, which is brain failure or brain change. So we have to be careful that we don't lump it in.
Speaker 3:I'm not saying calling it Alzheimer's is wrong, but it's very hard to get a diagnosis and in my experience with families, just because you might know the name of the dementia, it doesn't change how you're going to care for them or how you're going to build a relationship. So I really don't focus on giving it a name or a stage, I just want to keep them building that relationship. The brain actually shrinks. So I have a lot of photographs of the normal brain and people living with dementia. So when people see that as a physical change, they go oh, I didn't know that.
Speaker 3:People think it's a memory problem. No, it's brain failure and I relate it to like heart failure. People understand what heart failure means, right, you know. Resonate with them that that's what brain failure is. So, for example, our brains are the size of a lemon. People living with dementia. Their brain becomes the size of a grape, so it shrinks about one third the size, which again explains, which again explains the difficulties they have, the memory change they have, the ability changes they have. It all makes perfect sense because it's actually a physical change. We just can't see it. We can't see our brains.
Speaker 2:So if we could, it would be a lot better. Wow, and I think it's coming more forefront as we're watching celebrities get diagnosed, like you mentioned, you know, like Louie Boddy with Bruce Willis, and we've all known Michael J Fox has had Parkinson's for a long time now. Yes, yes.
Speaker 3:I think that's a good point, because we have to do what's called person centered care. We have to do our person right by meeting their needs, knowing their history, knowing what they used to do as a job, so that we can relate to them in the moment and not make them just a task where you got to get up at a certain time, you got to get dressed, you got to eat breakfast, you got 15 minutes. Then we got to do this. They enjoy routine, but there's no rush. You know it's their day and we find moments of joy in the most amazing places. So that's what I'm trying to portray to the families is that you can still have a really amazing relationship with your person. For sure. That is good yeah.
Speaker 2:So let's just change this a little bit. When you're not working on your business, what do you like to do for fun?
Speaker 3:Well, I love to travel and I will explain more of that in a minute. Um, I love to travel, I love to be outside of my comfort zone and, um, my partner lives in Canada, so I have the opportunity to go to see him every once in a while. In Canada is amazing place. Um, I have two granddaughters who live in Wisconsin and they are the love of my life. I didn't think I wanted to be a Nana, but I love. I love being a Nana. It's a whole different kind of love, oh, it is.
Speaker 2:And.
Speaker 3:I know why you don't have kids when you're older because I'm exhausted, you know, and I have the privilege of living on a lake, so I do a lot of kayaking and boating and you know, I just have a beautiful home where I can really stay focused and. I get to center myself, so that's a privilege that I have.
Speaker 2:That is great. Can you describe one hardship or life challenge that you rose above and can now say because of that challenge that you're better for it and or stronger?
Speaker 3:Yes, I can. So I met my husband in 2014 and we got married in 2015 and he passed away one year and one week after our first anniversary. So, unfortunately, he was diagnosed in the beginning of a relationship with brain cancer. So that was a very big challenge. I was his care partner. We lived in Chicago part of the time and it was funny because I could compartmentalize it.
Speaker 3:While it was going on, I really focused on him. It was. It was a challenge I didn't expect and I realized that there is such thing as you know, the love of your life and love at first sight. So I realized too, life is precious and don't let anger or hurt stop you from loving other people and treating them well. I mean, he wasn't always great to be around, so because of this journey, I've become unafraid to confident in you know what I know, and I really have a passion about wanting to share this information with people. I want them to have the best life people living with dementia and their families because I've experienced it with them and that's been the privilege and learning how to live in the moment Right.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that is great.
Speaker 3:What a story so it was us, I was us. I didn't plan on that, but it definitely strengthened my faith and it really gave me an insight of what's important and just to leave the rest of it aside.
Speaker 2:What is one thing that you wish that our listeners knew about your business?
Speaker 3:Well, I wanted to make it very personal and something that meant something to me. So when I was trying to come up for a name of my business, I decided that one of the most life-changing things in my life was that, in 2018, I walked to the Camino, which is from France to Spain. It took me about six weeks and it was 500 miles. Wow, I walked every day, and when you're on the Camino, there's a symbol that's a scallop shell. You get one at the beginning of your journey and that's what you follow along the way. And so what I realized was that every day was something new People you met, places you saw, and I was way out of my comfort zone, but all you could do was move forward.
Speaker 3:You didn't ever look back. It was one of the most rewarding experiences because I was actually present and I can't explain how life-changing it is, and so I kind of truly understand what lives in the moment. Um, and just moving forward. Whether my feet hurt or I was tired or was alone, you just put one foot in front of the other. So I figured that going forward mindfully is really important. So that's kind of why I thought about dementia forward, so it's not stuck in a place. I mean we have to go forward and I want people to move forward to have the best relationships that they can with their person.
Speaker 2:Wow, that's a very lot of thought process in that, so that is great, thank you. So our listeners are intrigued. They want to learn more, so how can they contact you and get more information?
Speaker 3:Well, I have a website. It's called wwwdementiaforwardcom and it's my first website I ever made, so I'm pretty proud of it. Uh, I'm also on Facebook under dementia forward and I'm also on LinkedIn, uh, under dementia forward.
Speaker 3:So when I um, what I do is to try to educate people. So I offer a free one hour consultation to talk to family members, see where they're at, kind of make a plan, and then we do an education together and brainstorm. Sometimes I get to do an assessment of their person, which helps because then I actually get to know who their person is. So, like I said, I can't change the whole world but I'm hoping just to change one person at a time and sort of my mantra is education is the power to empower. So that's why I'm very passionate about this, so I'm willing to help in any way possible.
Speaker 2:I love it. That's a great mantra. Education is the power to empower, correct? I like that. Thanks well, debra. I appreciate you taking your time today and being a guest and educating our listeners on the Good Neighbor podcast. Thank you very much for your time. Thank you for having me, I feel privileged.
Speaker 1:Thanks for listening to the Good Neighbor podcast Rochester. To nominate your favorite local businesses to be featured on the show, go to GNPchestercom. That's gnprochestercom, or call 248-988-9640.