Healing Power of Forgiveness

A New Year and this year we are going to move through fear and be the best version of ourselves!  How are we going to do it you ask?  Two step process.  1. Extreme ownershipt.  Know that you are 100% in charge of the life you are creating which even if it is a mess and you don't necessarily want to take the credit, ownership is empowerment.  You have the power to change it!  2.  Forgiveness.  Get to the ROOT of what is going on, messy as it might be and claim it.  And then FORGIVE yourself and any others that may be involved.  There is SO MUCH POWER in forgiveness.

If you are ready to take on those limiting beliefs and shift out of blame and guilt and fear and transform your life with love and forgiveness, then you are ready for A Course in Miracles.  You can self-pace with a supportive community through the 365 Lessons.  It's $5/mo because there is no one that should be excluded when they are ready.  Register here

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Transcript

Rise and shine, everybody. It's time to wake up with Susan. Spiritual awakening can be a beautiful, messy, and sometimes lonely journey. So let's do it together. I'm your host, Susan Sutherland. I'm an intuitive healer and spiritual mentor. We are all called to rise up above our conditioning and limiting beliefs and shine our light on ourselves and others.

So let's get to it.  Hello family and happy new year. Can you believe it? 2024.  I am so ready. I'm so excited, um, and quite honestly, I'm recording this a couple days in advance because when you are listening to this as early as January 2nd, I will be at the Grove Park Inn  with my friend celebrating her much belated 50th, but it seems like perfect timing to roll in the new year exactly how I want to, focused on well being and centeredness and to.

Um, connection. So I'm, I'm really excited about that trip that's coming up for me in a couple of days. And I'm really excited about this new year. And before we start talking about today's topic, which is forgiveness,  I want to talk a little bit about fear because I think this is really going to be a focus for me and hopefully you in the new year is that when we feel fear,  if it's not the like there's a boogeyman standing behind you fear, if it is fear because things are uncomfortable, we're just gonna go ahead and do it. 

We're just gonna go ahead and do it. We're gonna feel the fear and do it anyway. And that is the vibe of the new year is just pressing on. And I was in my little community, um,  Power Hour. It's called Power Hour. We were in there a couple of weeks ago and Derek was,  oh man, he, he always hits it right, but this was Really magnificent in that he, he took out a bag and in the bag had two acorns and one acorn was an acorn and one acorn was sprouting  and he just reminded us that. 

Your potential to be all that you could possibly be, your highest version, everything that could possibly come out of your life is already inside of you, just like the giant oak tree is already inside of that acorn. And so your full potential is within you and it's a believing that and operating and making decisions and taking action.

From the place of knowing that you're a freaking oak tree, not an acorn. It is making decisions and moving forward in a way that says, yes, I am. I can be all of this. Like, I know that I'm an oak tree, not an acorn. Like, acorn is just how I came into this world, but I can be so much more. I'm meant to be so much more, and I don't have to do anything.

The acorn doesn't have to, like, do anything more  to be the oak tree. It just has to allow it. And so, one of those acorns was making decisions and operating  from the basis of the acorn, and one was like, I'm a freaking oak tree! Let me out of here! I'm gonna sprout and I'm gonna, I'm gonna dig roots and I'm gonna grow.

So I just want you,  as you're making decisions this year,  think about where you're making those decisions from. Is it the limited version of you? The one that can kind of self sabotage or get in your own way? Or, um, we don't even know why we have these limitations. It's really helpful if you could say okay, I see this pattern of self sabotage.

Why am I doing this? What am I avoiding? What am I afraid of? And really try to get to the root of it.  But start seeing yourself as an oak tree.  And now that I've told you to be an oak tree, I'm gonna tell you you're not a tree. Because this came up at Christmas Eve and it's really important to understand that you have  1000 percent control of how your life is.

And so if you are in a position,  a job that is unfulfilling and also does not provide life fulfillment. Then it is your opportunity to move through the fear and change. You are not a tree. You are an oak tree, but your roots are not dug down. You can change. And I say this, knowing that for 20 years I had a job that was not fulfilling.

My, my career itself was not fulfilling. However, it did allow me to live the life that I wanted to live. And I found my life very fulfilling and that was fine. I didn't need that fulfillment from my career because my life felt very real well rounded and fulfilling. If your job is fulfilling and paying you bucos and bucos, but you don't have a minute to spend with your family or traveling, then you might want to reassess that.

But the important thing is now is that there's all kinds of choices. You have the opportunity and people are not getting in a career and staying for 50 years. Explore. Find new avenues. I know somebody  who  was at a corporate job and having so many health issues, so many anxiety battles, and ended up hitting rock bottom, like straight up rock bottom, and ended up  door dashing, or I mean he uses all the platforms, but different platforms, and has made almost a game of Setting his hours, using the peak time, whatever, and this may not be what his parents dreamt of him being and achieving, but his health is stable.

He seems better and healthier now because he made a move out of an environment that wasn't suiting him.  So I know somebody else who was at a corporate job leading a team and he was like, this ain't for me. This is not working for me. And he started Ubering people. So he's a Uber driver and I saw a post recently where his goal for the upcoming year is 2, 000 a week.

Like that's not chump change. And he has made a switch.  to a lifestyle that is more fulfilling for him and is successful at it. And so, although you are an oak tree and capable of being your most glorious self,  in the other sense, you're not a tree. And if you're not happy or you're not feeling fulfilled in your job, in your home, in your relationship, in your house, um, in your friendship circle,  You're not a tree move.

It is time to make some changes and that's what 2024 is is about true reflection and true  Looking into how you are showing up in this life  and and being brave enough to make changes When you need to make changes if something's not working don't wait on You know, the universe to fix it for you. Set your intentions and start taking actions from the oak tree.

What is the highest version of myself? How would that person deal with this situation? Because that's what we're gonna do. We're gonna feel the fear and we're gonna do it anyway. And you know, what's really funny is this morning I told Mark  and I don't talk about much of this with him at all. He's not exactly my target audience.

But I said, I'm really planning on being more comfortable and just going out there and putting myself on social media. And he's like more than you do.  Which for me is like I'm not sharing anything that comes through and for him it's like holy crap already see your face But um, you know what? I am gonna hear his message and just plow on through that fear as well So that's what that's what it's about guys be the tree and don't be the tree.

That's your mission  now I want to talk about forgiveness, and it's funny because, it's not funny, it is synchronistic that this happened right before we start the book club for 2024,  which I will tell you, I have already recorded the first chapter and the first  So I recorded them so that, um, the members would be able to listen to what the lesson is and what the notes are.

And then I'm going to actually do the activity on the day that it's released with them. However, I am setting it up. To where you can join and do it self paced. So what, whereas we're planning on doing a lesson a day, if that's too much of a commitment,  fear not, you can join and do it in a self paced way and that way, you know, if you can do it twice a week or whatever.

It's five bucks a month y'all. This is not a big commitment, but I'm telling you from just reading and marinating on the lessons,  This is, it's good stuff. It's good stuff, and it's about forgiveness, and it's about rewiring all of the programs that we are just built up with. And even as I'm reading the lessons, I'm like, holy cow, this, I know I have to work on this.

I know I have to work on this. Um, just these programs of where we're giving meaning, where we're giving value, what we're holding on to, what our attachments are. Anyway, we are rewriting the script, but I am formatting it in a way that if this interests you down the road or now, but you don't want to feel like you have a daily commitment,  holler, because it's there for you. 

That being said, so, so I had someone who scheduled an appointment actually on Christmas Day, which was a reminder for me that I have not done admin work that I committed to, to go and tidy up my Calendly and stuff. And I had to say, I'm so sorry, I have to, I have to reschedule with you. And we got her in just before Christmas and it was such a profound session and. 

What came through for her, we all need to where I'm giving, I'm giving this an episode and  so I'm going to call her Tracy. So Tracy. Set up the appointment was coming over here just before Christmas and when I have an appointment set up I go ahead and channel through messages before they get here So I'm kind of prepared and in that energy and kind of know what's going on ahead of time It's like a doctor reading of a chart before the patient comes That's how I see it.

It's just kind of checking things out. And, um, what come, what had come through is that these children haven't forgiven her and now she doesn't get to spend Christmas with them  and she needs to forgive herself. And I was like, okay. And so, of course, Susan starts piecing together the story. I'm like, okay. 

Tracy's not with her partner anymore. Her Kids don't like her, they're not spending time with her, whatever. Like, I'm, I'm going ahead and mapping out the story. Of course I was totally wrong. That's how, how it works. You have to stick strictly to what is told until she fills in the narrative for me. So we started talking and she actually moved here and was finally going to be close to family, and she found out that these children, her cousins, that she used to spend her summers with when she was like 9, she would go and spend her summers for two months  A year with that family and she would live there and go on vacation with them and just be part of their family for a couple of months. 

And when she got here, she found out that those,  they're not children anymore, they're grown ups. They were saying that she bullied  And she's like, I didn't bully them. I did not bully them. And now Um, you know, they have, because of all this has come up and the aunt, you know, said, this is the girl who bullied my children, all of this stuff came up and she ended up losing contact with this family or kind of like stepping away from them because she felt so targeted because she didn't do this.

She didn't bully them.  And so it was so interesting as we're talking that, um.  Spirit's bringing through, first of all, that we have to understand, in every situation, you only know your side of it. Your perspective is all you have. And one person's like, funny joke, is another person's bullying. And we don't get to say that,  what I said wouldn't have hurt me, therefore it shouldn't hurt you.

And so it was a lot of really unpacking the fact that  if you were 9, 10, and 11, you probably did say hurtful things. I have a 10 year old. I know how that he treats his siblings and how they treat him.  And I know how differently they are impacted by these. Conversations, one child might be hypersensitive, another child might not be.

So we really worked through the fact that she could actually admit that even though it wasn't her intention, quite possibly she did do something or say something that was bullying to them. Now from her perspective, she was so grateful. For what this family did for her, that she was there busting her butt, making her bed, keeping her room tidy, and she thought it to be helpful to make them do that, too.

They were younger than her and she could come in and she could kind of like be the, the babysitter who gets them on board and then the parents would be so proud because everything's getting done and  and  so her intention was never  to bully. Her intention was to show gratitude, however, we were able to get to the place where she could admit that maybe how she did it would have been received in a different way, which was a really big part of her healing. 

journey was to say, okay, I,  it is quite possible I did it. I'm not going to deny it. I'm going to have extreme ownership and say,  yes, if, if I did that, I'm not going to deny it anymore. I'm going to say, if I did that, it certainly wasn't my intention.  And then the next piece, which was a big piece,  was to forgive herself. 

To forgive herself. She had so much love for this family that what had hurt her so much is that she had done anything that 30 years later she couldn't remember, like, why they would be upset with her. And she was harboring so much inside and she thought it was just frustration with them for not forgiving her, but it was really sadness on the inside that anything would have been  perceived as anything but grateful,  right?

And so it's really the, the  ability to heal by forgiving others.  It's like just a drop in the bucket  through the ability to heal by forgiving yourself. And so wherever there's situations where you feel like you can't forgive somebody else,  they're causing so much problem.  Take a look inside and say, what am I not forgiving myself about this situation?

What is it that I could say? Yes. Absolutely, even if it was not my intention, I take ownership of the fact that I played a role in the situation.  And when you can get to the extreme ownership, you can find ways to forgive them and ultimately ways to forgive yourself. And that's freaking powerful. And so it's really interesting because as we were working through this,  I was telling her.

Because they kept saying she has to forgive herself. She has to forgive herself and I'll and you guys It's kind of more than we've talked about so far But your entire external reality is a projection of what you feel inside. That's just the truth of it Anything however you feel inside that is how your reality is projecting.

That is the world you're living in So when there are instances  of  things coming up that trigger you, people not forgiving you, people being mad at you. It's inside work. You have to look within to find,  where am I creating this situation?  How is this, how is my reality reflecting what's inside of me?  So it's really interesting because after this conversation, she was already feeling so much better and so much lighter saying, you know, I didn't realize I didn't need to forgive myself, but I've been so upset that they're upset with me.

Like that I've been kind of cast out of this family that I loved so much. And, and so we really talked through that. And then she got on the table to do energy work.  And while she was up there,  my angels came through and they were like, not done yet.  Not done yet, Susan. So, after we did that, we did a little more talking because the next step of her forgiveness journey,  and this is really powerful, was to get pictures of herself from age 5 and work up by the decades. 

And then look at those pictures and say,  I am a bully.  This is what I said to you. This is what I thought about you. This is how I treated you. And to acknowledge that others seeing her as a bully was also a reflection of how she was treating herself.  So she had to go.  Through the course of her life and we know I mean if you look back at yourself over the decades You know what your hang ups were at that moment.

You know what you thought about yourself. You're not smart enough. You're not good enough You're not working hard enough blah blah blah You can't find the perfect mate, you know, whatever it is. We've all had this this shift in  What are our trigger points? What is the meanness that we're speaking to ourselves? 

And by her acknowledging  that who she was being a bully to was herself, she could go back and write the story with these pictures and saying, I'm sorry I bullied you. I'm really sorry that I bullied you.  And once you start doing that, once you start identifying the core source of the problem and writing it,  outer reality changes.

And so on Christmas Day, I got a text for her, from her, that said her aunt ended up calling her. She told her aunt that she's so sorry that anything was ever, you know, if she bullied, she's so sorry. That was certainly not her intention. And they made amends. And that is a Christmas miracle because just a couple days before they weren't speaking together to each other and they had all of this conflict and her outside world needed her inside reflection, her inside forgiveness, her inside acknowledgement that she had created this situation because when she arrived to my house, it was because Everyone was upset with her.

They were treating her so poorly.  Fortunately,  Tracy was ready for this conversation. She was in a position to be really open to receiving this message and really open to honoring  herself as a bully, primarily to herself.  And realizing that she had not to beg for their forgiveness, but to beg for her own.

And when she did that, she no longer needed the lesson and the problem resolved itself. And you guys, that is how this life works. Nobody's doing that. Anything to you. They are mirroring, mirroring back to you  how you feel inside. What work do you need to do inside?  So, that is a huge lesson for 2024 is when you have triggers,  when you have  things that come up, when you have conflict with other people, It's still an inside job.

They're showing you something. They're showing you something to look at in yourself.  But almost always, when we get to the root of it, we've There's forgiveness. We have to forgive ourselves for  what we have done in the past, what we have not done in the past, what we've thought, whatever. There is so much guilt, shame, and blame stacked on us that when we can figure out what the root is and forgive ourselves for it, we can change how our outward reality is.

So. I'm leaving you with that. It's a game changer for the new year. I'll tell you, I even, I got a trigger.  We have a good friend who is spiritual and Mark was speaking with him about my podcast and he made a comment that he only has limited time to listen, so he'd really like to listen to, you know, more seasoned people. 

Which totally cool, but this comment when Mark told me that and he was just telling me this, you know, because he knows I respect this person or whatever, but it was a freaking dagger for me.  And not a dagger like, I'm mad at this person, a dagger like, hey, he's showing you something. And he was showing me this, this super insecurity that I have of, who wants to listen to me?

Like,  you just start sharing something and you expect people to think that somehow you know stuff. But I had to do a, a big deep dive, fortunately with my spirit team, who's like,  You know, it's not your first rodeo. You've been cultivating this over lifetimes, but, but I was very attuned to how sharp  Those words hit me to know  that there's something I need to work on.

There's some serious limiting beliefs within me that he is showing. No frustration with that other person for saying it because he is just reflecting back to me  what I need to work on. So I hope that kind of clarifies what I'm saying with that. Anyway, it is a powerful tool when you find People who are, who are striking your nerves, Frustrating you, angering you, they are reflecting back your work.

And that's the, the gifts are hidden in the struggle. So when you feel fear, when you feel frustration, or negative feelings, instead of running from them, or trying to bury them down, that's where the problems lie, is when we don't deal with them.  Sit with them and say, Alright, what are you trying to show me?

I'm ready to deal with this. Let's do it. Let's take a mirror and have a look at this and fortunately like Tracy was here for that lesson and In two days her problem had been resolved, but that's because she had the extreme ownership to say hey I'm doing this to myself and  Even though I did it to myself.

I forgive me. I forgive me for years and years of bullying Because that's what she'd been doing to herself. Anyway,  this is gonna be an amazing year. I'm grateful. You're on this journey with me  Keep me posted on what you have planned for the year. I want to support you and I'll talk to you next time. Are you ready to take small consistent steps to reprogram your mind away from the guilt and shame and blame and fear that we are all programmed with?

If so, The Course in Miracles book club is for you and I'm setting it up to where you can do it self paced, but you will have me as your guide and have a group of support with you. It's only five dollars a month because I think it's something that everyone should take on with no worry of cost and to have the support of a group.

The link is in the show notes or you can find out more information on my website. 

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