(0:00) Rise and shine, everybody. It's time to wake up with Susan. (0:05) Spiritual awakening can be a beautiful, messy, and sometimes lonely journey.(0:09) So let's do it together. I'm your host, Susan Sutherland. (0:14) I'm an intuitive healer and spiritual mentor.We are all called to rise up above our conditioning (0:21) and limiting beliefs and shine our light on ourselves and others. So let's get to it. (0:29) Hi, family.Thanks for joining me today. We are going to pause for a minute before we go (0:34) forward with our self-discovery journey to talk about self-compassion. Because if you don't (0:42) understand how to truly love yourself, how to embrace everything that you can find, (0:49) then the self-discovery process is a little heavier and a little harder.And it can be a fun, (0:57) a fun scavenger hunt where you are just learning more about who you are, how you are made, (1:05) what kind of, you know, strengths and vulnerabilities you inherited from your (1:12) ancestral line or from your karmic balancing or from your previous soul's journey. But the more (1:20) you really understand how to take that on objectively, the more you can embrace the (1:30) whole journey and not be afraid to peek under the covers or look behind the door because (1:38) there's nothing that you can find that is not welcome back to the whole. But we really have (1:46) to understand that because if you're like me and you were raised in the South, in the church, (1:53) then you, it doesn't matter how great your church was.I had a really wonderful church. I had a (1:58) really wonderful family. I still grew up knowing, knowing, quote unquote, that I was born a sinner.(2:07) And this got me two weekends ago. I went to a funeral and the minister (2:15) was talking about how we are born sinners. And I think he even called us dirty rats at one point, (2:23) which I found a little alarming.But he was talking about how his three-year-old granddaughter (2:30) is a sinner because she never asked him what he wants. It's all about her. This three-year-old (2:38) never thinks of his needs, which is not like God.So she must be a sinner. And it just really (2:46) made me understand why we are the way we are. Why we feel so much guilt and so much shame (2:55) for who we are.It's because we're taught to feel guilty and feel shameful about who we are. (3:01) This poor little three-year-old who couldn't make Pawpaw lunch if she wanted to is now being like (3:08) publicly shamed. I mean, she doesn't know it.I'm just kidding about that. But because she doesn't (3:14) ask Pawpaw what he needs. And it's just like the programming that we receive that we are born (3:21) bad has got to be undone.And when you undo it and can really understand what this life is, (3:31) you don't have to feel shame or guilt about the choices you made. I mean, Maya Angelou kept it (3:38) super simple when she says, when you know better, you do better. But really understanding that (3:43) you're always operating at the consciousness level that you have, that you are, there are no (3:51) bad decisions.But I want to talk about that today because it makes when you find out information, (3:59) we're going to speak to somebody about gene keys and understanding your natal chart and how even (4:05) the astrology blueprint can give you a better understanding of perhaps karmic debts that you (4:11) are here to balance. And working with Ulrika in the Galactic Astrology, it was about even (4:21) karmic patterns for the collective and ancestral. And if you always think you're being punished (4:27) because you're bad, you're never going to really want to peek and find out.There's not a curiosity (4:36) if you think that if you think the boogeyman is under the bed, you're not going to want to look (4:42) there. And what I'm telling you is you can't find anything outside of God anywhere. So that's what (4:49) I want to talk to you about today, because you're not dirty rats, you guys, you're just not dirty (4:53) rats.And I think A Course in Miracles has been really wonderful for me. I'll tell you that (5:01) sometimes Jesus is long-winded in those lessons. And it does feel like a little bit of circle (5:07) talking where he goes around and around.Sometimes I think just to repeat the lesson over and over, (5:13) but a lot of times it seems, I called it mansplaining the other day, where he's just (5:19) explaining something round and round, but in such terminology that is like, y'all are not going to (5:25) screw up what I'm saying here. But it's been really good to understand what this experience (5:33) is, who we are and who we aren't, and who we are is the essence. You are the consciousness that is (5:43) breathing life into this body, but you are not this body.And there's a lot of references in (5:49) A Course in Miracles notes helping us understand it, that this is, you know, a game we are playing. (5:58) They either talk about it as being a stage and we are the actors, or a game, and your body is the (6:05) game token. And so this is essentially your meat suit that you're wearing for this experience.(6:12) But when you can understand that and really (6:17) detach a little bit, not avoidance, you're not avoiding your emotions, you're not avoiding (6:25) your experiences, you are able to observe them. And you are the observer of the person who is (6:35) having these experiences. That's what your consciousness is.Derek Grant talks about (6:41) if you are playing a level, and you're playing a level as Luigi, and then it, you know, you're not (6:49) getting as far as you'd like, you might play the level as Mario. And so essentially you came into (6:55) this life as Mario. Now you are neither Mario nor Luigi.You are the gamer that chose these options. (7:03) And so it's really important in your self-acceptance journey to know that you are (7:11) not your body. You are not this egoic personality that you chose to come and experience in this (7:19) lifetime.And when you can understand that and observe, like, okay, what are Susan's tendencies? (7:28) What are Susan's strengths? When I chose this birth date, this birth place, these birth parents, (7:38) what was, I'm thinking now of like one of those games back in the day where you could pick (7:45) somebody and they would have like four times strength, two times speed, one times health, (7:53) you know, whatever it is. But you are basically lining up your experience. And when you can see (7:59) it that way, you can really curiously know.You can really look with curiosity to try to figure (8:09) out, all right, what was I trying to experience here? What were, what were the hurdles that I (8:14) put on the track for me to jump over? And that is a really fun way to play the game, you guys, (8:21) because if you, if you go onto that track and you think you are the character and you're like, (8:27) holy crap, why are there so many hurdles? That is, that's the hard route. That is the hard route. So, (8:34) better you are at experiencing your emotions and your situations from a really elevated level.(8:44) Not that you're avoiding, but you say, I'm experiencing sadness today. What is this sadness (8:52) trying to teach me? And it's not to teach you not to have the sadness, but it allows you to lean (9:01) into your emotion when you do not feel like you are then going to identify that, identify with (9:08) them. You are not going to become a sad person.You are having a day in which you are experiencing (9:16) sadness, which is very, very different. And so then you can say, all right, is my body communicating (9:24) that I need rest? Is there something I need to process? What is going on in my relationships (9:31) that perhaps needs addressing? But when you remove yourself out of identifying with emotion (9:38) or identifying with experience or, you know, with the, this always happens to me, (9:45) this never happens to me, that kind of verbiage where you are so entrenched in your day-to-day (9:53) experiences, you guys, you're not any of those things. You're not any of those things.You are (10:00) a consciousness that existed well before you chose this game token, this meat suit to wear (10:09) for this lifetime. And you will exist well after this. And there is nothing you can do in this (10:17) lifetime that makes your being less perfect.You are just here as an expression of God, (10:25) as an expression of the divine, to experience things in a new way, in a different way, (10:32) to challenge yourself with different relationships and different environments and different (10:41) experiences. All of this is just a means of learning. And so when you can stop identifying (10:48) in the moment with the experience, this is who I am.This is how I always will be. This is how my (10:55) mother was. So this is how I am going to be.Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. You (11:00) are none of those things. You are just the consciousness that chose this game token.(11:07) And so to explore who you are is to map out. It's like if they gave you 12 avatars to choose from, (11:16) and you chose the princess in the purple dress with a gold crown, but you don't know what that (11:23) means. What did it mean to choose the princess? What are the attributes that make up who she is? (11:30) Perhaps she is the best swimmer.You don't know that until you explore, but allow it to be a fun (11:39) exploration because you are just trying to understand more about your character, about (11:46) who you are. And you wouldn't be mad at this princess if she's not also the best long jumper. (11:56) It may require you trying to jump over the hot lava one time, and then it's like princess goes (12:03) straight down into the hot lava.And you're like, okay, that's not a good idea. I'm going to take (12:08) this tube down to the water level and I'm going to swim under the hot lava. I wish y'all could see (12:15) the little Nintendo game I'm playing in my mind as I tell you this, but I hope it's translating.(12:21) I hope you are old school Nintendo people too. But I'm saying the princess needs to drop and (12:26) go through the water, but you might not know that until you take her swimming. You might not know (12:31) that until you try to jump across the lava to learn what are her strengths and what are her (12:39) struggles.But you wouldn't get mad at her for not being a long jumper. It would just be like, (12:45) okay, I understand that that's part of this character. And so when you can start seeing (12:51) yourself objectively, like this is the avatar that I chose.And the more I explore with this avatar, (13:00) the more I can really understand what my strengths are, what my struggles are. Your triggers are your (13:07) teachers. And so they are there to help you say, oh, okay, there's something here for me to learn.(13:16) But when you start on a self-discovery journey to really, really dig into what makes you who (13:25) you are, what are the things that you were programmed by your church, by your school, (13:31) by your parents, by your society, by your country, by all of it. It is so beautiful when you can do (13:38) it at the understanding that I, I, I love that I chose this game token. I want to know so much (13:47) about her.Why is she like this? And there's no judgment there. I'm reading a Paul Selig book and (13:57) it had the most beautiful passage and I wrote it down. It says, there is nothing you could do (14:05) or could have ever done.Nothing you could have ever believed or chosen that can put you outside (14:14) of the love of God. It cannot be so. And so when you are reflecting back, when those triggers come (14:22) up and you were reflecting back at what happened when you were young, when were you made to feel (14:29) shame about being sexual or about not being smart enough or about not being athletic enough, (14:38) whatever those triggers are, when you can see it as a self-discovery journey in which you have the (14:47) most self-compassion for everything that could possibly be there, because nothing you could (14:53) have done, nothing you could have believed is outside of God.And that goes for, there are a lot (15:01) of people now with a very different understanding about the equality of people than they may have (15:09) had 10 years ago or 20 years ago or 30 years ago. It does not mean that when they had beliefs (15:17) that would put them somehow superior to others, that they were out of outside of God at that time. (15:24) They were operating in the consciousness level that they had, but they were still using an avatar (15:31) that had limited understanding and still exploring to hopefully gain greater understanding.(15:40) That's not outside of God. When you act in a way that is even violent to someone else, (15:48) that can create a lot of guilt and a lot of shame as you know better. But the important thing (15:55) is that you know better.And so carrying guilt and shame about an instant that is long gone (16:02) does not serve you. The importance in A Course in Miracles is what we're doing is understanding (16:10) that forgiving others for anything that they may have done because they were also not outside of (16:16) God is also in turn forgiving yourself because we screw up all the time in the terms of what we're (16:24) doing. But if you see it as I am just learning, I'm just growing, and sometimes in order to see (16:32) what I should do, I have to experience what I shouldn't do.But then you can start to love (16:40) yourself. Love the portions of yourself that really screwed up. The portions of yourself that (16:48) experimented in ways you're not proud of or shut down other people who you judged for how they (16:56) were acting.We can just all know that we are growing and expanding in consciousness and we (17:03) needed all of those levels. We needed all of those experiences to say, you know what, that doesn't (17:10) resonate with me anymore. And because of that, I'm more understanding when other people (17:16) are narrow-minded and need to grow.Like I was once like you. Or when they really have (17:24) struggling in their relationship and you know because you've gone through that too. (17:29) It is just part of our understanding and none of it is who you are because you are not your body.(17:37) You are not your personality. This is just an expression. This is your game token to act out (17:44) in this lifetime for your own growth, for your own pleasure.So I'm not saying there's not (17:52) consequences for your actions. That's the karmic wheel that we're on is we're creating this balancing (17:59) of energies as we as we you know take action. There will be a balancing of that energy in this (18:08) or later lives.So it's not like you can come out here and do whatever you want to. I'm just saying (18:14) you can't do anything outside of God because it it I was talking to my stepmom this weekend (18:21) um and just kind of about how I believe and um she was questioning you know child molesters or (18:33) you know don't I think they burn in hell which I do not I don't believe in hell at all. I believe (18:39) there's a karmic debt to be paid but I believe that that that soul is perfect whole and complete (18:50) just as I am and so the actions that their avatar is taking in this lifetime will create a karmic (18:57) balancing but the soul is still perfect and so I do not believe that anyone is cast outside of God (19:06) because I don't think God which again I do not believe God is some old white dude in a white (19:14) robe I think is divine intelligence the source of all creation and I don't think that provides (19:21) you free choice and then punishes you for using it.That doesn't make sense to me at all. It's like (19:28) here oh like those those videos where you put candy in front of kids and then you tell them (19:35) they can't have it for for five minutes or something and then you know that you videotape (19:39) the kids sneaking the candy. I don't think our kind God that is only love does that.It's like (19:45) here I'm going to give you all of the temptation and then punish you for taking it which is you (19:51) know the the first parable of the bible is to be tempted and then we take the temptation and then (19:58) are cast out forever. I don't believe any of that okay. I believe we have free choice to learn (20:05) because you can learn from the bad.You can learn from the good. You can learn from health. You can (20:12) learn from sickness.You can learn from wealth. You can learn from being poor. You can learn from (20:18) all of it and I don't think any lesson is you know bad or good in God's eyes.Now I do think (20:28) as a collective we are given opportunities to do better. We are given new opportunities to (20:37) handle things in a new way, in a higher way, in a more cohesive way and we are challenged to do that (20:46) but a lot of times you need some bad apples in order for God who deals with bad apples. (20:53) Like I thought maybe I would put farmers in there dealing with them but I'm just seeing an apple (20:58) cannon where we shoot them off.So maybe that's what it is. Somebody develops the apple cannon (21:03) and it's like from these bad apples we do not waste them. We make five bucks on three apples (21:09) and we shoot them off and kids have a grand time and the farm makes money.I really went astray (21:15) with that and I'm gonna leave it anyway but what I'm saying is we're given we're given opportunities (21:21) as a collective people to address situations in a higher way, in a new way and and that's a good (21:30) thing but it doesn't mean that that anybody is outside of God. That any choice that we make is (21:39) somehow not God's choice because as we learn in A Course in Miracles our will is God's will. (21:47) We are we are source.We are here making our choices as the divine beings that we are (21:59) and that's just it and so when you can look at every choice that you've ever made, (22:05) anybody you've wronged, anybody that has wronged you, any anything there's nothing you have ever (22:13) done that is outside of God and when you can start seeing that then as we go on our self-discovery (22:20) journey as you do inner child work you are able to see that little child and welcome them back (22:30) into your hole and say you know what I'm sorry that I cast you out that you were shamed for what (22:36) you did that you were made to feel wrong or dirty or like a little sinner for not asking (22:44) Pawpaw what he wanted for lunch but I'm welcoming you back because for me you are perfect whole and (22:50) complete and we are one and so I really challenge you to start loving yourself. Start loving (22:59) everything you've ever done is just a component of who you are. Can you imagine having a puzzle (23:06) a beautiful puzzle and thinking that the the black pieces the shadows didn't contribute to (23:14) its perfection that you only wanted the puzzle pieces that were flowers or were brightly colored (23:21) that wouldn't make a good good puzzle you need all of them you need all of the pieces to make the (23:27) whole and so you have to welcome them back and you have to do that by by understanding that none of (23:34) them are bad they were part of your learning experience it was you figuring out that the (23:39) princess cannot jump she can't jump and that way you have to learn that she's going to go in the (23:47) water but start seeing the mistakes you've made as just opportunities to learn and that will make (23:56) the self-discovery journey so much more fun and so much better better meaning you will find more (24:05) by not being afraid to open the doors to look under the bed to say oh wait a second this is (24:12) triggering me there's something for me here something's going on here I really want to look (24:18) at this or hey Susan why are you getting this upset at a basketball game that your kid's not (24:24) playing in like it's really important to welcome the messages welcome the understanding that can (24:32) come from your triggers that can come from your your emotions and your feelings when you're open (24:39) to those lessons because you know that there's nothing that you can find that is not welcome (24:45) home there is nothing you could have ever done and nothing you can ever do nothing you could ever (24:53) believe that is outside of God and when you understand that it is self-discovery journey is (25:01) a scavenger hunt like let's just go find the pieces this is fun let me just go see what what (25:07) little Susan left behind um and it doesn't you're not you're not picking scabs here this is not (25:15) picking scabs this is saying I want to know every bit about this avatar that I chose because (25:24) maybe maybe the princess is the best rope climber in the game but if I'm not willing to go to the (25:32) level where you you jump from I think it's Donkey Kong actually does the ropes but whatever where (25:38) you go rope to rope to rope to rope like how will I ever know if I'm not willing to explore it so (25:45) um I really need to try some new games but anyway I hope you are ready to embrace yourself ready to (25:56) embrace all of yourself and know that your puzzle's not complete without those shadow pieces (26:02) that there's nothing wrong with them there's nothing bad about them they are part of your (26:08) perfect whole complete self and we need them so I love you and I really hope that you love (26:17) yourself and I hope you have a great week and I'll talk to you again next week thank you so (26:23) much for joining me this week be sure to not miss any upcoming episodes by subscribing to the podcast (26:30) that way it's available automatically in your RSS feed this is a crazy journey let's do it together