The Identity Factor Podcast

Human First, Leader Second With Greg Nyman

June 25, 2023 Robin Keesler
Human First, Leader Second With Greg Nyman
The Identity Factor Podcast
More Info
The Identity Factor Podcast
Human First, Leader Second With Greg Nyman
Jun 25, 2023
Robin Keesler

Today Greg Nyman is showing up for the Shadow Side Leadership Series to talk about what it means to be a leader that is willing to be a human first and a leader second.

In this episode, Greg offers an approach to leadership that includes profound levels of self compassion and true nurturing and care for the human that lives behind the suit.

If you enjoyed this episode, share it on your favorite social media platform so that someone else that might need to hear this message today will be able to find it.

Register for the virtual live event finale happening May 19th-21st at where you are going to get an entire weekend of value packed, heart felt love and support from our amazing team of leaders that are walking this path right along side you. 

See you inside!

Show Notes Transcript

Today Greg Nyman is showing up for the Shadow Side Leadership Series to talk about what it means to be a leader that is willing to be a human first and a leader second.

In this episode, Greg offers an approach to leadership that includes profound levels of self compassion and true nurturing and care for the human that lives behind the suit.

If you enjoyed this episode, share it on your favorite social media platform so that someone else that might need to hear this message today will be able to find it.

Register for the virtual live event finale happening May 19th-21st at where you are going to get an entire weekend of value packed, heart felt love and support from our amazing team of leaders that are walking this path right along side you. 

See you inside!

 Hello, my friends. Welcome to the Identity Factor Podcast. My name is Robin Keesler, and I will be your host. Let's go. So today everyone, we're gonna be talking with Mr. Greg Nyman. He is a life coach for men. He helps men overcome the mental stumbling blocks that are stalling their weight loss.

Specifically, he helps them understand what's keeping them from getting the results that they want in their lives so that they can stay focused and motivated on the things that they actually want. Um, and I'm gonna give you a second, Greg, to just introduce yourself, uh, briefly, and then we're gonna dive in today to talking about this idea of.

Leadership and what that means to us. And also, how we navigate our businesses and our lives helping clients and other people as leaders with some of the various just mental and emotional health challenges that we all go through personally. And so we're just gonna talk a little bit about how that interplay works for each of us.

And, uh, having said that, Greg, welcome to podcast and go ahead and introduce yourself and if there's anything you'd like to share and then we'll jump in. Love it. Thanks for having me. As Robin said, I'm a life coach that helps men with weight loss. Um, my previous life I was a manager of a shipping company, a terminal of a shipping company, very low quality of life.

Thought work was not even a thing. Self-care was terrible. Um, that ended really badly. And, um, now we're here. And exploring like the beauty of thought work and the beauty of emotions and feelings, and actually the strength it takes to, to, to do this work instead of just shove it down, which is very detrimental to our psyche.

Yeah, a hundred percent. And it's, it's not always easy, is it? No, it's not always easy. It's not always easy. And I think, you know, so one of the things that for me has been kind of, um, interesting to, to consider is like, okay, so like I'm thinking about the people that are out there that are like, that don't wanna do it, right?

Like, sometimes it's like, I don't wanna dive in to that, like, Stuff, right? Like I've stuffed it all in the closet. It's in there outta my way, and like I do a pretty good job of like pretending. Yeah. Right, right. Going on. You're right there. You're, you're dealing with it, right? You're, you're putting on that shellac and like the locks on the, the cabinet and whatnot, and you're managing your mind around not diving into that stuff.

You're really dealing with it. Not, maybe not in a. Live in color version, but on a subconscious level, it's always there. It's always eating at you. Yeah. It's defining you without defining you. Right? You're letting it, oh, all this, all these skeletons in my closet. I can't put myself out there because what if somebody finds out?

What if somebody finds out, it's fine. Who cares? Like pull it out, look at it. Get rid of what's not serving you. What is serving you? Keep and move on. Instead of dragging this with you as you progress through life. I think that's actually a super interesting, um, point that you just made, Greg, that where it's like you are already dealing with it, whether you realize it or not, you're just dealing with it in a different way.

But I actually love the feeling that that created inside of me when you said that, because it felt like, it truly felt a little bit honoring and validating, right? Because I think sometimes it's really easy in this field of work to be like, well, I should really, you know, do the work and go to therapy and get some coaching and talk about the stuff and like, I think for, there are a lot of people, like, I love this idea of just meeting ourselves where we're at.

And it doesn't mean that we have to stay there. We might choose to make a different choice and, but like, like for me, I, I tend to choose to, to jump in and like, go through the closet. Like I just, I'm a masochist that way. I'm like, let's do it. You know? But like, especially recently, there have been a few times like where I felt the fear of like not wanting to.

Absolutely. Like, which is actually somewhat new for me. Like for the most part, I'm the one that's like, let's go there, let's do the thing. But there have been a few incidences recently, especially with certain issues that have been coming up that I'm like, wow. Actually I ki I get it when people say, I don't wanna go there.

Oh yeah, totally. It's, it's scary. Like, let's, let's be real. Like it's scary sometimes, you know? I know for me personally, when I was. After my heart attacks and I was becoming a life coach going through certification, it got dark, it got way dark, you know, and you know, there was an emergency phone call to a very good friend of mine who's a life coach emergency phone call to my therapist at the time that's helping me with my P T S D.

And I mean, it got really, really, really dark. Mm-hmm. So it's scary. Like ever since then it's, I've been nervous, like, ugh, I, I wanna do this work, but I'm afraid that I'm not gonna be able to curtail it. I don't know if I'm gonna be able to break myself out of that spiral. Mm-hmm. You know? And yeah. Cause I don't want to go to that dark place again.

Like, that's not who I am and I don't want to be there. So like the thought of even looking at something slightly negative, maybe. It's scary and intimidating and um, one of my really good coach friends, she was like, well just sit with that. Mm. Sit with the fear about doing the work. Mm-hmm. Feel the fear, feel the feelings, feel the guilt, the shame of judgment, whatever it is, just sit with those emotions about doing the work so you can prove to yourself.

Hey, I can pull myself out. Hey, it's not as bad as I think it is. Mm-hmm. And, you know, definitely honor where you're at currently by doing that, instead of judging yourself and saying, I should do this, I should dive in, I should go, you know, headfirst like Robin and all the other courageous people of the world, you know?

No, I, I'm, that's not me. That's not where I'm at right now. Sometimes, yes, but right now, no. And that's fine. Let's honor this experience. Let's have the, all the thoughts and feelings around it so we can actually make. Progress instead of jumping full in and, you know, yeah. Fill Well, and what I think is interesting too is like, I think part of the reason that I had that experience recently was like, and I'm, I'll be curious to know what you think about this or if you've ever had this experience, but what, what, what I realized is I was like, you know what?

I think that our brains are really good at protecting us. Oh, absolutely. And so I think there are this, some of this work that's now coming up for me, I didn't even have awareness of before, and so it was like, it, you know, sometimes the analogy that I use is like, you know, it's like my life was such a mess and it was like kind of looking at this lake that was just filled with like scum and stuff, and, and it was like, okay, I'm gonna take the net and I, and I was able to start cleaning up.

Cleaning it up, but it was totally, but it was still in areas that where I was like, okay, I'm doing the work. I'm diving in. But it was still like, there was such surface level stuff that I was cleaning. And so it's like now, like there are areas of my life, especially as I begin to step out into the world more and really own my, my position in my life, in my business, in, in stepping into leadership roles and in areas that are of growth.

Right. Like that's the part that really in, in, in a lot of ways triggered me to wanna do this series that we're doing right now. Because what I found is, as I found more stability, found more success, started creating, you know, a bigger life for myself, and kind of cleaned up those surface areas, all of a sudden, Greg, it was like the universe was like, she's ready.

And it was like, bam. And now it's like showing me this deep, deep, profound thing that I was like, my brain didn't, didn't have awareness of. So it's, it was like it opened another closet door. Oh, absolutely. And I was like, oh my gosh. Oh, I don't know about that one. Yeah, that one, that one's got big scary monsters in it.

We don't wanna go there. Yeah. It was like, who, that one felt like, you know, it was like, that feels a little like, okay, I get it. Like, we're, I'm being challenged now to go to deeper levels and, and so it was, it, it was kind of a neat experience to feel that, that fear again. Yeah. And that's, I mean, that's the beauty of coaching, right?

Like, you have somebody there that's, you know, you're like, no, there's monsters under my bed. And they're like, yeah, there probably are. Let's look at it. You know, let's shine a flashlight on it. Let's go there together and look and see. And you know, you shine a flashlight under your bed and it's actually just your teddy bear.

It's not, you know, Dracula like you thought it was. Mm. One of the things that has been so cool about this too, Greg, is I, I remember talking with a client about this and I love the way that she described it because it has been such an ex, this experience for me as well, is she said, you know, I. At first, I was afraid to be that vulnerable with someone, and I was afraid that if I went to those places of my life, I was, and I, I've heard clients say this so many times, right?

They're like, I don't wanna feel the sadness because I'm afraid that I'll never come out of it. Like if I go totally that place, like I am deeply afraid that I will never be able to come out of it. And right now, like you said, I'm dealing with it. It's in the closet and. And that's what I loved about like it is it felt validating because I'm like, that is a strategy for dealing with it and we don't need to shame it.

Like if that's where you're at, like that's fine. But like it was pretty cool for her. She's like, once I found the courage to open myself up and go into it though the way that we did, she's like, what I realized was like I was afraid that I was gonna be naked and vulnerable and alone, but she was like, it felt like I was naked and vulnerable, but I wasn't alone.

Exactly, and that I didn't expect. She's like, it felt so much more loving than I really expected. I expected it to be like raw and painful in, in just this intolerable way, but it actually, it was raw and painful, but it was in, it was with this, this essence of like love and support and it just is, it kind of feels a little bit like a magic that I didn't expect and I, and I, and I totally resonate with that.

That's awesome. That is, that is a hundred percent accurate. You know, it does feel scary and vulnerable and like, oh my gosh, like everybody's seeing my dirty laundry. Oh no. You know, this is gonna be bad. Um, but having an ally mm-hmm. With you, it takes a lot of that away, right? Like, We all think that like we're the only ones that have these horrible thoughts about, you know, ourselves and like, you know, possibly, in my case, possibly doing self harm and, you know, ending the situation.

You know, all of those thoughts. We think we're the only ones we think, oh my gosh, like nobody has these thoughts and nobody thinks like this. So I can't tell people that I think like this. And the more you. Make your, let yourself be vulnerable and get coached and you know, even have therapy. You realize you're more normal than you think you are.

Right? Like we all have these, these thoughts that we don't necessarily like, and it's okay that we have them. We can look at them, process the feelings around them, but we don't have to live there just because we have, you know, a thought about self-harm, that doesn't mean, you know, occasionally, that doesn't necessarily mean that we're suicidal.

Right, right. Like, We just, it doesn't define you right? It doesn't define you and mm-hmm. When, when we talk about it and, and explore with, with, um, you know, people that we trust, like a coach or, or a therapist or a mental health professional, I. It helps us normalize it and figure out what we want to do with it.

Right? Like, okay, I had this thought. What do I want to do with it? Yeah. I want to acknowledge it. I want to honor it. I want to give it it's time, and I want it to just flow through whatever it fills. Yeah. To flow through. I don't want it to stick here. Yeah. So when we, when, so when we talk about this is, this is a super interesting, um, segue, I think into kind of this next piece that I have curiosity around is like, okay, so for the people that are listening, like how do we, like, how do we take those parts of ourselves that we oftentimes feel tempted to hide or not acknowledge, like, right, that we so often think of as like weakness and I think.

There's a couple components here that I'd like to dive into. The first one is, as it relates to leadership, so for people that are out there in the world, feeling called to be an example of what's possible feeling called to help be a light, right, and a model for other people. Like what? First of all, what do you think it means to be a leader?

Like, can we just define that term? Yeah. So leadership, you know, we have, when you become a leader, you know, a manager, a supervisor, a c e o, whatever, uh, industry leader, uh, influencer, whatever, however you wanna put it. Mm-hmm. We put all this pressure on ourselves, right? I have to be perfect, right? Mm-hmm. I have to show them what's possible.

Okay. Yeah. Show 'em what's possible, but show them what is as well. Right. Like, yeah, I had all this garbage, all this baggage, all these negative thoughts, and I did it anyway. Right? Instead of we, the image that people put out when they're in a. Leadership role is, I've got my shit together, I'm perfect. Right?

That's the image that we see. And allowing people to see the other side too, you know, like, yeah, I have anxiety every time we do a podcast, you know, I don't know how to manage people. Like things come up and I have no idea what to do, and I figure it out instead of just, no, I've got it together. Anything that happens, i, I, I will handle perfectly.

No, you won't. You're human. Right? When we become a leader, we think we're a leader and then everything else, and then human sometime along the way when in reality we're a human first, maybe a leader second. Mm-hmm. So allowing yourself to be human, allowing yourself to, to fuck up. Yeah. Like allow that to be a thing.

Yeah. Okay. I, I gained this call. It was the total wrong call it, you know, did whatever, you know, cost people money or, you know, delayed this or that or the other. Oh, well I learned from it. You know, like, I don't have to beat myself up about that for the rest of my life. Mm-hmm. You know, take this as an opportunity to show people.

Mm-hmm. Hey, look, we made a mistake. I made a mistake. Here's how I'm gonna handle it. Yeah. And so when we look at, like, when we look at these conversa, this conversation that we're having around like, you know, like the mental health or emotional health challenges that we all as humans, like you said, like if you have a human brain, you've got this stuff.

Totally. And we all do. If you have a human brain, you have a shadow side. Right. That's absolutely, that's, you have the, the day and the night, the joy and the pain, right? The darkness. The 50 50. The 50 50, right? Like it's just there. You've got the failure and the success. You're gonna make mistakes and you're gonna have huge wins.

What a lot. Yeah. Go ahead. The interesting point, like what I noticed in my own experience with management and burnout, Is I was closing myself off to all the negative emotions, right? And we think we can do this. Mm-hmm. And we can. But what we don't realize is we're closing ourself to all the positive ones as well, right?

Like you have to feel sorrow to feel joy. You have to feel sadness to feel happy. When you close one off, you close the other off. And this is how people, at least in my experience, Experience burnout because they're not allowing theirselves to be themselves. They're not allowing themselves to feel, they're not processing their emotions.

Mm-hmm. We're just going down this very narrow tunnel until it manifests in a very spectacular way. Yeah. Not always, but in my case it did. Yeah. Well, and I think, um, Like for me, I think that part of the reason that we do that is because we have this idea of what it means to be a leader. That's very, like you said, it's very masculine, it's very performance driven.

It's very, um, You know, and again, this may not be for everyone, but I think, and, and I think that this is, this definition of leadership or this image of leadership is beginning to change. And I think there are, there's a new generation that's really opening up to this idea of heart-centered leadership that is more human and that allows for, um, that allows for all of that and.

And I still think it's a conversation worth having because there there is, there are people out there, I think, and I feel it, right? That old holdover of like, well, if I'm gonna be a leader, that means I need to, like you said, have my shit together. I need to have it all figured out. I need to kind of create this persona of this powerful, effective human.

And it's like that other side, that 50 50, those get kind of shut down and it's like, that doesn't have a place in this. In this arena, in this identity of leadership. Totally. And my question is, what if that's not true? A, which I know it's not. Spoiler alert, there's the answer, but also like, so it's like we know that that's not true.

But what I'm curious about Greg, is in your experience, how has that not been true? And in fact the opposite. Like how is it true that in order to truly be an effective leader that can make an impact and change lives? How is it the case that in order to do that, that you actually need to be willing to embrace that, those parts of you that maybe you don't want the world to see?

Yeah, so like essentially for me being a leader, it's getting in the trenches. Doing the work, you know, um, in, in my previous life, like I got out on a forklift. I labeled freight. I, I loaded trucks, I did the things right, like I was out there with my people. Mm-hmm. Doing what they're, what I'm asking them to do right In this realm.

The same applies, right? Like, Hey Robin, let's go and explore your deep dark secrets and see what's in there. But yeah, we're not doing that for me though. Mm-hmm. But we can do it for you. Mm-hmm. Yeah. No, that doesn't work. That doesn't compute. Whereas if people are seeing you be real and human, They'll be more willing to open up themselves.

But I think the reason that it's so important is because you, you really are able to understand another person once you've, once you've walked that path, right? Oh, absolutely. You know how scary it is. You're able to meet them where they're at, and as a person that's, that is looking to. To really excavate that in someone else and help them amplify their light.

You have to know how to help them deal with the darkness. Yeah. You have to know how to deal with your own, and you can't do that unless you've dealt with your own. Yeah, exactly. And I don't mean, and I, and I think that's, again, not to say that you, you ha you know, nobody has to do this work. Right. Safe of course.

But to, but to just realize that there's such power. In having, in being a person who has, who has that experience, who has really done that and knows what that's like, and then sharing that with the world, right? Like mm-hmm. I. I've found that my story is very powerful. Mm-hmm. Very relatable. People have gone through similar things.

People have gone through, you know, traumas and um, you know, experiences and, and medical issues and jobs that they didn't necessarily like and telling your story both like to a person or, you know, in your marketing or however you want, like. It makes you more real and relatable. And it also like gives for me, like when I was starting this work, seeing people that have done it.

Mm-hmm. Right? Or that are doing it cuz I mean, we're never done, right? Like Yeah. It's a constant evolution. And that in and of itself is a big milestone, right? Like this work never ends, so, We don't need to beat ourselves up about it, but, um, Seeing people go through it, seeing people do it, seeing people be real, seeing people, you know, be emotional on calls and this and that and the other.

It gives like, it gave me courage. Hmm. Oh, if they can do it, I can do it. Yeah. Yeah. This is not, yeah. That sucked for them, right? Yeah. But it's okay. Somebody caught them. Right. Somebody who understood, somebody who's been through that was able to catch them and go, okay, it's fine. You're okay. Let's process this.

Let's sit here for a minute, and Okay, next time we're gonna try it a little bit longer, maybe. Mm-hmm. I don't have to process, you know, well, 42 years of, or 43 years now of pain and agony. In the next 10 minutes. Mm-hmm. Right. We can do it little chunks at a time, little bits at a time, and that's fine.

Hey, if you're enjoying this episode, I wanna invite you to come join us on May 19th through the 21st for the Shadow Side Leadership Summit. It's gonna be an entire weekend where we're gonna dive into these conversations around identity and leadership, around mental and emotional health, around how to support ourselves so that we can truly lead others in a more impactful way, that we also get to experience connection, and joy along the journey.

Shadow side leadership Go sign up and we'll see you inside. If you had to name your shadows, what would you name them? What, what do you, what would you, what do you think they would be?

Well, fear for sure. Um, and then judgment, guilt, shame. Okay. And so when you. When you notice that, that those are what your shadows are and like, and as you've shared a little bit about your story of really being willing to go ahead and embrace those things and, and do that work of going through them, what do you think has been the biggest, uh, transformation and the really the biggest, um, result that that has created for you on the other side, either personally or in your business?

So personally, um, Real brief history here. Yeah. Um, 20, 20 February, 2020, I had a heart attack. That's what my 20 years of management and mismanagement of my brain mm-hmm. Ended with. Okay. Um, and then for the next five months, alls I could think about was having another one and shocker, I had another one.

Mm-hmm. Then I got into, um, coaching and thought work and this and that and the other, like managing my brain. And fast forward till December of last year when I had brain surgery. And went into that surgery knowing it was gonna be okay, like everybody else was freaking out. I was fine, I was cool as a cucumber.

I'm like, mm-hmm. We're good. We've got the, the best people on this. We've done all the things to get here. This is gonna be completely fine. And it was completely fine. You know, the recovery was not as, like, I had all these illusions of grandeur, right? Like, oh, I've got 18 weeks off of everything, so I can totally like, you know, really dig, dive in on my business, really grow this, really get my marketing together, blah, blah, blah.

Which no, like, yeah, you're recovering from surgery and then, you know, having that. You know, that hit you in the face. Now this isn't gonna happen. And being able to, oh, you're right. I do want not need, want to give myself that time to recover. I'm going to make this as therapeutic as I possibly can for myself, and if that means doing nothing, That means doing nothing and that's completely okay.

Like the ability to give your, and it's, it's made my self care amazingly better because I give myself permission. It's, it's an, it's something I want to do. Yes, it's necessary. Sure. But it's something I want to do. Took it to the next level, right? Like, Taking that time to, you know, read a book or go on a walk or, you know, veg out and watch Netflix, but actively choosing these things mm-hmm.

As self-care versus buffering or distracting myself with these things. Mm-hmm. Yeah. And that the ability to do that has been life changing. How has your journey. With learning how to meet yourself with, you're at, right? Learning how to just notice like, you know, the pressure that you might be putting on yourself for the shame or the guilt.

When those, when those shadow sides of yourself kind of rear their head and you notice like how they're starting to wanna show up in your life, how has that process of learning how to deal with those and learning how to deal with yourself more gently, more lovingly, how has that informed. Your leadership capacity and style as you work with your clients, as you work in your business, how has that changed the way you show up for your business?

Um, well, I've always showed up. Well, not always, but for the most part I've showed up compassionate and understanding. Mm-hmm. For my clients, or I thought I did, right? Mm-hmm. And once I started doing the shadow work and realizing that guilt and shame only come from judgment. Mm-hmm. So let's work on the judgment.

Why are we judging ourselves? This is optional. Why are we judging ourselves so harshly and start working on that component? Um, the rest is starting to fall into place, right? Like mm-hmm. You get rid of the judgment, the guilt, the shame, and all that goes off the top and, oh, I can look at this box versus having to dig five feet of judgment mm-hmm.

Off of it. I can look and I can see and seeing the change that it's made in myself. Mm-hmm. I can bring that to my clients and go, you know, hey, there's a better way, or a different way to do this, a more effective way, possibly. Mm-hmm. And, you know, understand where they're at and, you know, understand the, the judgment mechanism and the, the guilt and shame they go with it and, How to break that machine, right?

How to derail that freight train and actually start doing work, um, or allowing yourself to do work that is going to get you to where you want to go instead of, you know, dragging this anchor with you up the side of the mountain. Mm-hmm. Yeah. What do you think is the, the biggest misconception that people have around this concept of mental health?

That something's wrong with them. People that need mental health help, assistance, counseling, therapy, coaching. There's something wrong with you. You're not a normal functioning human. No, you totally are. Right. We all have our, our issues, our demons, our shadow work, whatever we want to deal with, and coming and getting help with that.

You're actually functioning better than people who aren't addressing that. Mm-hmm. Like, it shouldn't be this, this stigma, this shame that, oh, I, I went to therapy. Oh, well, what, why, what's wrong with you now? I took charge of my mental health and got help that should be celebrated, not condoned. Mm-hmm. Yeah.

What are the ways that you have made mental health or mental fitness an everyday supportive practice in your life and in your business? Um, so I, I run models every morning. I do a thought download, run, you know, two or three, sometimes four or five models. Um, I do meditation, I do, um, journaling. I really start getting it all down on paper and really, I mean, getting coached quite a bit too, to be honest.

Um, but I've made this. A priority versus Oh yeah, I've got a gym membership. Mm-hmm. Right. Like you're going and actually working out actually doing the, the thing. It's one thing to, you know, show up at coaching sessions or therapy sessions and yeah, I, I go every week. Okay, cool. Well, do you talk about real things or do you talk about the weather?

Mm-hmm. You know, and Okay, your, your coach, your, your therapist is giving you this awareness. Mm-hmm. What are you doing with it? Right? Just because, oh, I see what I'm creating for myself. Okay, now what, what do you do? And taking it to the next level and, okay, yes, I've got this awareness. What do I want to do?

How do I wanna pick this? Do I wanna do anything with it? And making those active decisions and choices daily, you know, and when, I mean, not every single day, right? Like I'm human and I forget sometimes. Mm-hmm. Not making that the end of the world. Right? Like giving yourself compassion and grace and go, okay, yeah, you woke up late and you didn't get your mo, your morning started the way you wanted.

Not a big deal. We'll learn from that. We'll look at it with compassion. Instead of going, okay, I suck. I can't get up on time. What led up to that? Well, I didn't go to bed till one 30 in the morning. Well die. You're not gonna get up at five like mm-hmm. It just doesn't happen. So let's, let's, you know, you have a going to bed on time problem, not a getting up on time problem.

Let's look at what's actually going on and solve for it. Yeah, totally. Yeah. I think a lot of people, um, like to shame themselves or be really hard on themselves because they think if they're giving, if they're being compassionate to themselves and they're like letting some themselves off the hook Yeah.

Which is not the same thing. They're going easy on themselves. Yeah. Right. And it's like you don't have, you can have accountability. With, for yourself and with yourself, and do that without shaming yourself. Absolutely. You can have accountability and compassion at the same time and move yourself forward in ways that are just more loving.

You just don't have to beat the crap outta yourself in order to grow. Yeah, and And you don't have to grow if you don't want to. Right? Yeah. You can just stay where you are too. Like, it's like none of it's a problem, like nothing has gone wrong. I love that. Yeah, you're perfectly fine the way you are and you can choose to go this direction or that direction or stay.

It's just a choice. Totally fine. Yeah. What advice would you give to the people that are listening that are secretly, um, kind of hiding a part of themselves that they feel ashamed of or that they don't know how to handle? Um, Well, if you're feeling ashamed, like we all have stuff, right? Like normalizing that it's okay, bring it out, look at it.

Um, let go of it. If it's not serving you, you know, if it's something that happened in the past, I mean even yesterday, you don't need to drag that with you. If it's not serving you. It's more courageous than you think to reach out and find someone to assist you. To guide you, to help you even, right. Like, I mean, you're helping yourself by finding someone to help you and that takes a lot of courage and you know, applaud that.

Like absolutely. You reach out for help. That's amazing. Good job. Go you, you're doing the hard thing. Mm-hmm. You know, I mean, we all think that not dealing with it is the strong thing to do. Right? And no, it's not. It's really not. It takes true strength to do your shadow work, to look at your, your closet, to look at what's going on in your brain and actually manage your brain to get you to where you want to go instead of just let it tell you where you're going.

Yeah. And. Greg, what has been, um, for you, your moment of greatest joy along this journey?

My moment of greatest joy? Well, there were a couple. Um, the first one was realizing that I'm more normal than I think I am, and there was help. And then the second one was with my brain surgery and. Just stepping out of myself and observing how I dealt with it. Right? Like, I was fine. I was, I could have been freaking out, but I, I didn't, and people, you know, did things or that, that were annoying, but I managed my, my brain around it and, you know, spoke my truth.

Like, you know, my, one of my good friends, um, He's like, Hey. Um, and this was, um, two weeks before my brain surgery, right. Um, he's like, Hey, I'm moving a week after my brain surgery. And I'm like, okay, good for you. Like, what do you want me to do? Well come and help. I'm like, dude, I'm having brain surgery. Like you can borrow my truck and my trailer, but my physical body is not going to be capable of doing this.

Yeah. And he's like, why? And I'm like, really? Like my head's getting cut open. Like, no. And you know, speak that truth to him in a way instead of, you know. Yelling at him and being like, you're an idiot. Just be like, look, I physically can't Yeah. And tell that truth, like, there's nothing against you. I'm, I just can't, and no, I'm not gonna move my brain surgery.

Just not, yeah. And be able to sit in that space and not have all of that judgment, oh, I'm not a good friend. I didn't help them out. I should, I should have figured out a way, I should have moved my brain surgery. I should have da, da, da, da, da. And not having any of that. Take over. Right? It was there and that's fine that it's there, but it didn't dominate.

It didn't take over. I didn't feel all the guilt and shame. I just like, yeah, okay. I get why you're thinking that. But that's, you know, not where we're gonna live. We're gonna live over here in the, we're supporting ourselves. Mm-hmm. Um, you know, model. Yeah. I love that. And when you can learn how to support yourself that way, you're, it's, you're so much more capable of learning how to support someone else too.

Oh, absolutely. Hundred percent. Um, Greg, how can people find, uh, out more about you if they would like to be supported by you and be able to. Get to know you better. Um, Greg Neiman coaching. Um, that's, that's where I'm at on, um, Facebook and, uh, or not Facebook on the web and then on Instagram as well. Um, and of course, um, I'm one of the fabulous coaches here at the Life Coach School, so, you know, join up and sign up with us and we'll totally help you out.

Yeah. It's amazing. It's one of the best, best coaches in the world. Work for the Life coach school, my opinion. Absolutely. It is the most healing space I think you could ever step into. Beautiful. All right. Well, thank you so much, Greg, for taking the time and sharing your story with us a little bit today.

Yep. Thank you for having me. It was amazing.

If you enjoyed this episode, Take a screenshot of it for me and share it on your favorite social media platform so that your friends can find out about it too. And in the meantime, I just wanna invite you to remember that you are beautiful, that you are worthy, that you belong, and that you are powerful beyond measure.

See you next time.