Inner Child Healing With Corinne Crabtree

In this episode Corinne Crabtree is opening up to share her heart and her experiences with not only the business and weight loss conversations that so many people love to hear form her about, but also about the inner healing that these endeavors have invited her into.

As Corinne shares some of the shadow sides she still carries - her insecurities, her feelings of shame and fear around loosing love - she goes a step further in invites us not only to normalize these human experiences, but also offers some of the ways that she has been working to heal these parts of herself and the relationship she has with her inner child and her future self.

It is a beautiful journey and I hope that you will join us.

Register for the LIVE grand finale event to take this conversation deeper at the event webpage: shadow sideleadershipsummit.com

Find more of Corinne Crabtree on her website https://www.nobsweightloss.com/ or on her YouTube channel or any other major social media platform including FB at https://www.facebook.com/phitnphat/ and IG @corinne_crabtree.

Please do the world a favor and share this episode on your favorite social media platform so that other people can find out about this amazing project, this amazing summit and so they can hear this powerful message of hope and healing.

Love you!

Robin

Register for the LIVE grand finale event to take this conversation deeper at the event webpage: shadow sideleadershipsummit.com

Find more of Corinne Crabtree on her website https://www.nobsweightloss.com/ or on her YouTube channel or any other major social media platform including FB at https://www.facebook.com/phitnphat/ and IG @corinne_crabtree. 

Please do the world a favor and share this episode on your favorite social media platform so that other people can find out about this amazing project, this amazing summit and so they can hear this powerful message of hope and healing. 

Love you! 

Robin 

Transcript

 Hello, my friends. Welcome to the Identity Factor Podcast. My name is Robin Keesler, and I will be your host. Let's go. 

Today we have a very special guest with us. We're gonna be speaking with Corinne Crabtree as we continue with our Shadow Side Leadership series, talking about leadership and mental health and kind of just de-stigmatizing what it means to experience mental and emotional health in our life on a daily basis.

So many of us go through our experience of, of life and thinking that there are certain things where. There's a certain point perhaps where you quote, unquote, arrive, right? And, and the reality is that there is no off ramp to the human experience and, and this mental health journey, right? That's what it is.

It's a journey. It's not a destination. It's not a place that you arrive to. It's, it's a process of healing and learning about yourself and growing. And that's just something that you're always gonna have. And I think, um, so many people in the world today really have this, um, limited in. Unfortunately, painful experience and viewpoint of what it means, um, to, to be mentally healthier or to be mentally fit.

And, um, for me, it doesn't mean that you never have a breakdown. It just means that you learn how to treat yourself more kindly, more graciously, more lovingly. And I love that Corinne has agreed to come in and, and talk about this with us, um, because. You know, as many of us know, Corinne Crabtree is one of the most powerful people in our industry.

She is a powerful coach and leader. She is a weight loss coach and also a business coach. Um, but what I love about Corinne is that she, her willingness to just come in and talk about her healing journey, um, that she's. Taken so far, and also the healing that she's still experiencing. I love her willingness to come in and show up as a leader in our industry and in our world, and to be willing to share her heart and her story about what mental health really means and what it's meant to her.

So thank you so much for doing that, and for those of you that are listening, I just invite you to allow yourself to, to see your own story in what Korean has to share with you here. I think so many people, um, disqualify themselves and they say, oh, leadership, that's not for me. I'm not a leader. That's for someone else.

And I just wanna invite you as we go through this sh this series to really. Allow yourself to take leadership off a pedestal for a minute and allow yourself to let go of the white coat syndrome and to examine where are the places in your life where you're being called to be a leader for your family, for your community, for your people, right?

Because. I believe that each and every one of us is really called into leadership and, and what we're talking about today and through this series is a leadership of the heart that our world is desperately needing. So cri, thank you for being here. Feel free to introduce yourself a little bit further if you would like to, and then we'll dive into this conversation on, on leadership and mental health and what that journey's been like for you.

Well, like she said, I'm Corinne Crabtree. I host the Losing 100 Pounds podcast. I was, uh, overweight most of my life and bullied, um, like my dad. We were kind of estranged and I remember I. Like when I would go see him as a kid, like he would sing the hefty trash bag commercial when he would first see me and stuff.

So weight for me was a very painful experience. It was always highlighted through my entire life that my body was a problem, my weight was a problem, the way I ate was a problem and it separated me from people. So, um, I dealt with that most of my life. And then in my thirties, I figured out how I was gonna lose my weight and I wasn't gonna do it through restriction.

And now I teach people how to combine just some simple, like more, I would say like intuitive based eating principles with a lot of mindset work. Because if you can't figure out what's going on between your ears, you'll never have any control over what's going on in your mouth. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah, when I started out on my weight loss journey, one of the things that I did not expect about it, which now seems silly, but of course I, I know intellectually that it's not, but I remember signing up for the Institute for Integrative Nutrition.

And I just needed help with my body. I was in total, you know, panic attacks. I was on the verge of a nervous breakdown. I was a critical care flight paramedic, working in a really hostile work environment. And I had just started, like, again, the binge eating was out of control. All the stuff. All the things.

And I, and I remember, and I was like, okay, I ju But it had brought up all this, when you talk about the bullying, like what I didn't realize is I had been keeping my life together, quote unquote, you know, so well, and like performing. And I was able, I was young, so I was able to like not get sleep and work the long hours and do all this stuff, but it, this, it kind of created this perfect storm when, when those emotional triggers started happening and it brought up all the stuff that I didn't realize was unresolved.

The bullying, the, the self-image, the identity, stuff like that, I had never taken care of. And so when I, when I went to go get support for my weight loss, I lost. 45 pounds through their program. And we talked about intuitive eating. I had no idea I was sitting, there would be like watching a video about broccoli just like sobbing.

Right? Because it was like all about like, again, like it really showed me how this self-love was, was really at the core of all of this. And I, and I loved how they, that's really what they did was they rewired their relation, the relationship I had with myself and all of it. Yes. About, it wasn't about losing weight anymore.

It was about is this a loving choice for me because I deserve to be treated well and I had been just trashing myself. Yes. Like you said, between my ears and also my body. Well, that was me. It was like, I often tell people, one of the things that people ask me all the time, especially when they hear that I've lost a hundred pounds, the very first question they ask is, how did you lose it?

And I always tell them. There was no how, like literally I had to, like, what really helped me lose my weight was I changed how I talked to myself, like if there was any, how it was, because at some point I had to decide I couldn't be a jerk to myself anymore. Like that just had to stop. And so I got really good at what I teach a lot of people is noticing what I would call old Corrine.

Thinking like old Corrine beat herself up on the regular. Old Corrine would say, if I don't lose weight this week, then um, I should just go back to eating. And I started getting so good at listening for old Karen, and instead of making myself wrong in those moments, I'd be like, no. New Corin thinks this. I just got so good at figuring out what new Corin needed to think because it made sense to me that if I.

Thought in a compassionate way. If I thought in a loving way, in a, uh, a determined way or a willing way, then that would lead to being able to lose weight. It was so strange cuz I didn't read self-help books. Like literally, I never had read a self-help book before I started my weight loss journey. I like, this was back in 2005 when I started.

We didn't even have podcasts. Like that stuff wasn't even invented. You know, it's like, like if I wanted to listen to something, I'd go get a book on cassette, like, you know, so I just sit back and I think, you know, I was so fortunate to be able to have it at some level of awareness around. What was always truly failing me, and it was what really failed me in all of the attempts I tried at losing weight was no one ever taught me how to talk to myself.

No one ever taught me how to have a safe relationship with food. No one ever taught me what to do after a bad day, and no one ever taught me how to not feel guilty for stuff I should never feel guilty about. You know, like I often felt guilty around food and I tell my clients all the time, what you eat is not a moral issue.

Like we, like guilt should not be a, like that is a feeling that's been misplaced and I need to teach you how not to have that anymore. So, I mean, I feel you. It's, uh, it's definitely, I, the way that I like to think about weight loss is, um, there's a modern approach and the modern approach to weight loss has.

Like we're gonna talk 75% of the time about what's going on inside your brain, and about 25% of the time, we'll look at how you're eating and stuff. But all of that like falls into line in a way that you want to eat and the relationship you want when you have that relationship you want with yourself.

Yeah. Yeah, a hundred percent. I think that's, you know, that's part of this whole idea about. You know, for me, I've realized over and over and over again, it really does come back to this idea of identity and the way that I see myself, the way that I think about myself, the way that I talk to myself, the way that I treat myself.

And I love the way that you describe that because it's like old Korean versus New Korean. I hear you talk about that all the time, and I, and you know, Even the way that pro that ties in for your business. You know, we can talk about that if, if we have a minute, but I, but I really love this idea because it's like, it's actually a huge part of what prompted me to wanna do this month and ha and host these discussions because, like I was telling you before we hopped on, my experience in Miami was actually very triggering for me.

Yeah. I didn't expect it. There are times I have bandwidth and I can go into those types of places and be okay, but it really has everything to do with, how did I treat myself those that week before, right? Or those few days before. Like if I, you know, go early and I have a few days being a highly introverted person and you know, I'm a little weird and neuro divergent and all the other things, but it's like, so it's like, to me, I just know there's something about.

Having a quiet, calm place where I can like breathe and regulate my nervous system, right? Like that stuff matters to me huge. But it's like being able to realize and really embody that future version of myself. Is a really powerful thing to learn. And I don't think, before I started with coaching, I even knew that that was a thing.

I didn't even know you could have a relationship with your future self. I didn't either. That was, I'm gonna tell you right now. That was all new to me too. We're just not taught that. Like we're not taught, just think about school and the way it's organized. Like we study a lot of history, and I'm not saying like history's a bad thing, like we should study history, but.

Our brains are trained. That history's really important from a young age. Like how often do we go to school and just talk about the future? Yeah. How many classes are about the future? They're just not, you know, and so it like, I just want all of us to know, like, That's, to me, it's like an adult skill. We're gonna learn, we're gonna learn how to now transition from focusing on the past to focusing on what we wanna create, and then we act from who we want to be.

Yes. I always tell my people, I do think it's important to examine our past at times, but you, it's a skill to be able to go back into your past so that you can examine and dissect. Pull out the pieces that you want, uh, like, you know, compassionately. Look at the pieces you may not want to bring with you to learn from them.

What most of us do is we go to our past and we use it as the judge of who we are now, or we use it as a way to beat ourselves up. And so I tell people all the time, it's like, look, only go to your past if you know how to go to your past. In a way that helps you if you keep going to your past and it just becomes, you know, basically a whipping stick for your life, don't go there now.

Let's just learn how to go with the future more often. And most of the time you, there's just, I just always think like, I go to my past literally when I'm so stuck right now. Like when I have been going to the future a lot and I've been thinking about who I wanna be if I notice, um, It feels like I just can't get there.

That's usually because there's something unresolved from my past, and that's when I'll go back. Totally. Like for me, I was, I was telling somebody this story the other day was like that. So like for example, again, when I was in Miami, it was interesting, like I had been noticing myself having, you know, binge eating again for the LA for several weeks in a row, which I haven't done in years.

I mean, and I don't mean just emotional eating, I mean binge eating. Disorder and like to the point where I will eat and be in such pain, but I can't stop. It's like a compulsion. And so my stomach will be huge and distended and I'll be, you know, laying in bed with like a heating pack and just like, and it's, it's so, um, it's so, it feels very out of control.

It, you know, it feels, you know, not fun. But in this. In this instance, it was interesting for me, there's a couple things that I think would be interesting to talk about. Cuz in your podcast interview with Jen, you were talking about, um, the identity collision. You're like, it wasn't an identity crisis, it was an identity collision.

Right. When you talk about making money and stepping into now as an eight figure earner, you talk all the time about growing up very poor, right? Yes. Much like many of us did. And when you grow up, In poverty, that there's trauma there. Yes. It affects your nervous system, it affects your body, your identity, your belief system.

There's so much. And so when you start growing now to where you are, there's, there's, I, I think there's a lot of people, I've heard people talk about, you know, self sabotage or imposter syndrome, but this experience, even for me on a smaller scale I had, I was like, whoa, like this is not, you know, it felt very terrifying.

Yeah. And, and it kind of triggered that, and I didn't realize until Miami that that was what was happening. And it was interesting when I got back to my room after that weekend and I just started to cry. I was like, what is happening? Like, I was just so, and, and I was very aware of there was this part of me inside that.

That was like, I'm like, this isn't like me right now. This, you know, 37 year old version of me. I'm like, this feels like a little kid type of energy. Yes. When I checked in, totally, it was, it was that 10 year old girl and I, it was like this past self, and I could, I could feel it. It was strange. And I, and I just asked her, I was like, okay, I'm gonna have a conversation with her.

And I was like, what's going on? I'm like, it's okay. If you need to cry, you can't. And sh and the words I heard very, she very clearly were, I do not belong. Mm-hmm. Okay. So when I, so I recently did some of this work with my coach. We, we talk to little Karen all the time, like I swear that I've been, I've been coached by the same coach for four years now and we kind of just keep going deeper and deeper and it almost every session now we go back and we.

Talk to that. It's always the 12 year old version of me. Mm-hmm. I don't know what was going on my 12 year old year, but literally everything happened when I was 12 because every time we go back she's like, how old is she? And I'm like, well, she's 12, she's back. She's the one who represents, I think, I guess for me, she probably represents the most of the hurt and probably maybe has the best voice for all the different versions of me.

But like with the, um, One of the things we, I think it's hard for people to think that I feel insecure often around, um, like the whole, like, I don't know. Do your listeners know about life coach school and like that whole, yeah. Okay. So at the Life Coach school, I would be considered like the top earner.

And so everybody, it feels like everyone knows me and it feels like everyone loves me and stuff. And when I go it's very overwhelming for me. And you would think that I would just relish in it. And I've been getting coached on it because here recently, what I've noticed is I tend to say yes to everyone all the time.

And, um, it's, it's kind of taking over my life. Like if you don't have boundaries, if you can't say no, I am just a very determined person and I have. A huge capacity to work. I mean, when you grow up poor and you're working by the age of 12, like that 12 year old, like, I mean, there's never been a moment in my life that I didn't work lots and lots of hours.

Well, I'm getting older and it's really hard, and now that I have so much influence, everybody wants me to do things and I worry about losing people like bad. And so I say yes to everything. So I was getting coached on this, and one of the things that I discovered was that, um, I had to go back and talk to my 12 year old self, and she offered me wisdom instead of me comforting her.

And she was like, you, first of all be grateful because what? I haven't been as grateful for all of it. I've been scared of all of it. And she's like, you're living the exact dream I always wanted. And then the second thing she told me was, You don't have to keep saying yes to everyone. She's like, you have earned now the right to say yes to you and the things that will matter, and we don't want just anyone in our life anymore.

Like she was literally talking about how I don't want you to be a people pleaser. I didn't want everybody to like me. I wanted the right people to love me. You know, like my dad just like. I'm sure he loved me, but I didn't know it at the time. And so she was just like really talking to me about like, what I really want now.

And it was so helpful because I had all of this immense fear that if I started saying like, well, no, I can't do that, or, you know, maybe next year like this, this year's booked out or whatever, um, that people wouldn't love me. And she was like, first of all, people don't love you because of the time you give them.

And if that's the only reason why they're loving you, then you haven't found the right people. You already have people in your life that will love you, whether a yes or a no. So it was just, I don't know, like when we talked about like going back to the past and you were talking about your inner child, going back sometimes can be so useful if you're doing it in a way where it's like collaborative.

And I think that's what I've most learned is how to do that in a collaborative way and healing a lot of those broken things that are going on for us. Yeah, totally. Because that's one of the things that I, I notice a lot is that in the, specifically in the coaching industry, you know, it's like there's, there is more.

Conversation about like future self, you know, type of stuff. And the vision building and all, you know, living from your future self. And I think even though for the general public, that's probably still a very foreign idea. I think within the coaching industry, that's more something that we think about or have awareness of.

But it's like, for me, I'm like, you know, and I hear people say that like, oh, I take my future self with me everywhere. But there was that moment where I realized, you know, who else I take with me though? I also take that 10 year old girl. Yeah. She's here too, and I'm not gonna forget about her because I'm so hung up on this future self version of me, because here's the thing, like she belongs also.

So how can I incorporate her? How can I make her a part of it? It's not about, like you said, Karen, we're not going back in destructive ways or beating up on ourselves or ruminating about things. But we, but for me, I have found it powerful to go back and to give her the love that she never had. Or that she never felt or that she always wanted.

Go ahead. I was just gonna say, it's so interesting you said that because out of this coaching session, one of the things that came up was, um, cuz I totally agree, like we do talk a lot, like in the coaching world about the future self. There's like three of us always traveling the road. There's you today who's just making the decisions and you've got your future and your past self sitting there trying to guide you at all times.

You know, like the past self, I think is always afraid. And trying to steer you like, like to me, my past self is always trying to keep me out of danger and it's just like warning me of things and stuff. And the future self is like, here's the direction, here's who we wanna be. And like they're super aspirational usually.

Mm-hmm. And what I've found was that I have been like at my, like going to events and stuff, I've been leaving my past self out. She wants to be there. Like, like it was so incredible to just discover that that 12 year old version of me, she doesn't want me to leave her behind. That's like, I wanna experience all this.

So my coach challenged me at, um, I've got two events coming up in June and July. I'm doing a business event in June and, and a weight loss event in July. And I, my picture's over there so I can't go grab it, but I'm bringing my silver picture frame of little Corrine. That, um, one of my best friends gave me, um, Rachel Hart.

She sent it to me. Cause I was talking to her about how important little Corrine was to me cuz she was the one that introduced me to the concept originally. And it said, will I ever, would I ever say that to her? And so I'm bringing her on stage at my next two events and I'm putting her right there so that like, for me, Now this problem we get into so much woo as coaches cuz only us coaches love this kind of stuff.

Like the regular public's like what y'all doing? But this journal I took to Miami and guess what picture was in there? Exactly. I'm telling us coaches love this crap. I had her right there, yo I am bringing her and I'm gonna put her up there. And I really feel like there will be some healing. Like there will be this, um, this like clarity and this moment like, okay.

Now we're all here together. Future me, me, and past me. We're doing it together now, and we can listen to all of us and maybe it will come past self. Little Corrine down a little bit like you're now included in all of the decisions and you're now listened to and. You get to come home for the fun parts. I mean, Lil Quinn didn't have much fun.

Let's just be real honest. Lil Cri had a miserable little life. She wants to experience what we have now, and I think I've been shutting her out.

Hey, if you're enjoying this episode, I wanna invite you to come join us on May 19th through the 21st for the Shadow Side Leadership Summit. It's gonna be an entire weekend where we're gonna dive into these conversations around identity and leadership, around mental and emotional health, around how to support ourselves so that we can truly lead others in a more impactful way, that we also get to experience connection, and joy along the journey.

Shadow side leadership summit.com. Go sign up and we'll see you. That's how it was for me. It's like this little, and as that realization for me in Miami was just the beginning. And what was neat Korean, I was, I've shared this story a couple times, was that like, as when I noticed her and how scared she was and that she was crying, I was very neutral.

You know, I was just like, it's okay. You know, very type of, but I didn't feel like a super strong person in that moment. Like, but it was, it was all good, but I was just very kind of neutral and that, but I felt it was a weird experience. I had like, I don't wanna say like a vision, but like, I felt like this energy of like my future self came barreling in that door.

And she just kind of not like shoved me aside, but she was like, I got this. That's awesome. And I just feel how like, she was like powerful, just super, like this energy that I didn't have in that moment. And she just brought all of that power and that com and just, and she just wrapped that little kid up and she was like, it's all, it's all good.

Yeah. And it was really neat to kind of sense that and feel that. And I was like, I never considered that my future self could have a relationship with my past self. Like I've done future self work, I've done past self work. But that was a neat, it wasn't planned, it wasn't conscious. It just, I just sensed that kind of happen.

And I was like, that was a neat experience and, and what I realized is even after Miami was, it was like, you know, and my stepdad was like, Robin, you're not done. He's like, cuz just notice like, You can't just go back to work and forget about her. Yeah. Shoving her back in the closet. And so it's just been this, so I've been like, okay.

And as I've been having these conversations, I've been noticing myself being like, oh, you're scared of like the visibility and the all the things that are uncomfortable and people liking you and just, I don't know, there's so much that's new. But it was neat when you talked about having fun. Something dawned on me recently where I was like, have I actually shared with her?

How much fun like that. Not only is it safe, but like sweetie, you get to, you get to play. Yeah, yeah. You're gonna get to go spend time in the woods and go do the things that you wanna do that you don't have to. Like, there's actually, there's benefit. It's worth it. Like how much time I spent to her talking about it, it being worth it.

And, and just all of that has been a really neat, a really neat experience. So it's all important cuz like for me, you know, As someone who felt very left out and excluded most of my life, you would think that the moment you're super included and everybody is like, I know you like people, you know, it's a little overwhelming when people come up to you and tell you th like, all the impact.

Like, like, like as if you're in their life all the time. You know? At least it has been for me. But what scales with that is like, oh, well now I have all these people that love me. But I never resolved the fear of not being loved. So now I just trade like every single person that's doing that. It escalated my fear of losing people.

You know, before I was afraid I wouldn't have people. And I think that's why it's really important for all of us to really examine our thinking, like, this is why we need coaching. This is why we need to look at all this stuff because you know, like you were asking me about money. It's like, yeah, money's great.

I'm not gonna lie to anybody. Having it for the first time in my life is amazing, and it also comes with worrying. I'm gonna lose it. It also comes with worrying. I might not be able to take care of all my employees. It's not like I always like to say, just because you get what you always thought was gonna make you happy, it doesn't absolve you from any negative emotion.

It's just usually gonna come up in a new way and we just, we wanna face it and stuff. But I think I've just gotten really good at, over the years, not being afraid of my negative emotions anymore. Like really understanding them as one of my favorite books I ever read, and I can't remember the name of the book.

It may have come from the Food and Feelings workbook, but I'm sure it was a weight loss book that I read at some point while I was researching stuff. But she, it was the Food and Feelings workbook. She talked about how, like, this thought our feelings are like the dashboard on our car. So like when you have, um, boredom or anger or, uh, Hopelessness or whatever disappointment, they're just an A indicator light that something's happening.

It doesn't mean they're bad. It doesn't mean it's all true. It's like it doesn't mean anything like that. It's like if we can start thinking about all of these emotions that come up for us around what seems like we finally have exactly what it is we want, it is that indicator light going off that, Hey, I'm interpreting this somehow in a dangerous way.

And this is where I think it is really good, like in those moments to go back to the past cuz it's probably unresolved trauma somewhere in the past that needs to be, you know, looked at, talked about, uh, you know, I do a lot of, I'm like you, I do a lot of that little kid work. I, it's always a little kid and it's that version of us that somehow.

Didn't have this or is worried we will lose this, who's just like, I need your reassurance. I'm sending up right now fear and anxiety and uh, disappointment, whatever it is. I'm just trying to get your attention. Cause I don't know any other way to get it. Yes, I love, um, I love actually the way that Esther Hicks talks about that, or Abraham, um, because the way that they say it is like that these emotions are your emotional guiding system.

Right. It's your emotional guidance system. Yes. And it's like whenever you're feeling those emotions, it's an indicator that you, to me, it's an indicator that I'm forgetting the truth of who I really am. I'm forgetting the truth of who I really am. And so it's like, what's the lie that I'm believing about myself right now?

Yes. What the thing that I'm not trusting, what's the thing that I'm forgetting? Because when I'm living from my, my true self, truly like my wholeness and my, that, that essence of who I am, they're you, you don't have those things, right? When someone tells you that they love you and that you're beautiful and amazing and you believe it and you know your partner or your grandparent or whatever, and it's, and it's, it's like, why does it feel so good?

I think it feels so good because they're sh they're mirroring back to you the truth of who you really are, right? Calls you, you're a piece of shit. And that you're worthless and you have no space in the world place here, then it's like, it feels horrible. Why? Because it's not in alignment with the truth of who you really are.

Yeah. And so I think, yeah, go ahead. Oh, I was just gonna, I was just gonna agree with you. I just think it's beautifully said. It's like, um,

I like, like a lot of times when people tell me things and I, I always describe it as sometimes I feel like a wall thumbs up, like a immediately, like, it's like my body throws up a wall of like, Ooh, I don't know about that one. I always try to note whatever it is that's super uncomfortable for me in that moment.

Like I've gotten so good at noticing how it, like, it literally feels like from my. Stomach to my neck, a wall comes up as if I've gotta protect the most vital parts of you. Because whatever's being said to you right now, you don't believe it. Like your inner critic is like, that's not true. That's not true.

So it just kind of shuts out what I'm hearing so I don't have to deal with it. And I try to always note it and I don't try to un, like a lot of times I think us coaches, we're always so busy trying to un unwind things in the moment, and especially our clients. We don't have the capacity in the moment.

And even if you did, if you're sitting there talking to someone and be like, excuse me, I have an emotional wall building. I'm gonna need to go over here and examine myself. Like, usually what I try to do is just make a like put a pin in it. You know, like when you are in the quiet and your nervous system is very regulated and you can really think and use both logic and emotion at the same time.

Let's work on that stuff then, cuz that's when you're most open to all of the change. Trying to do it like on the fly. Most of the time I've just realized most of my thought work is very ineffective on the fly. Yeah. I just tell myself, I often feel this way and I can keep going and I often think these things and I can keep going just so I can stay, you know, making, like, making forward progress, functional in my life and stuff.

But I never neglect the work though. Like I don't just like say, and you can keep going and never examine it. I'm like, and you can keep going. And at some point I'm gonna examine it so I don't have to do that part anymore. You don't wanna dismiss those parts of you. They're important. And I think that's where we make the mistake, where it's like, let's just keep going.

Oh, it's just a thought. Let's just go. And I'm like, I refuse to bulldoze over that little kid inside that's afraid. Yes. I'm not in the driver's seat. She doesn't need to be, but I'm not just gonna bulldoze over her and just like positive thinking my way out of this. Because there's something here that's wanting to be, like you said, nurtured and healed.

Yes. So let's bring this back really quick before we have to hop off to this idea of leadership and mental health. And so when we look at these parts of ourselves that are, you know, I would call them the shadow sides, right? The parts of ourselves that we would rather the world not see. The parts of ourselves that we kind of wanna hide or feel ashamed of.

Like, what are those parts for you, Corin? And how has, how has your journey through loving those parts helped you to become a better leader? Well, I think probably the one thing, like this is a newer thing that came up for me is, um, I've had two really successful, I, I've had a lot of success, but the last two years have been, The kind of monetary success that, um, like, it's just, I call it astronomical to me.

Like I just never thought. But yeah, a lot of shame with money came with it. Like, I would say I've had a lot of, like, I still haven't even shown my clients my house. Mm-hmm. Like I have always been a behind the scenes kind of girl. My house is so fucking nice. Even right now we're building out a basement. I don't know if you can hear the hammering, but beneath me is a 3000 square foot basement being built of studios and meeting space.

Like just incredible. Just stuff happen is happening for me because of money now. But man, I have so much shame about it. It's like I don't want anybody to know. And that's probably that for me with leadership, I have been trying to unwind because I think for women, well, I think for anyone that grew up poor, honestly, but especially like when you think about women, we just aren't taught, number one, how to think about money.

We're taught that we're bad at money. We're taught so many terrible things about money. And then when you have a lot of it, You feel incapable of dealing with it. You feel bad at it, you feel like you can lose it. Anybody can take it. Like all these things. And that's been really hard for me. Yeah. And I also don't wanna be seen as some kind of like money grubbing butthole.

Right. You know, it's just like I have a lot of money now, but there's a part of me that's just like, but you're gonna look like you're just in it for the money. And I've been trying to like work on thoughts around it and like for me, one of the truest thoughts is you have a lot of money cuz you've never been in it for the money.

Mm-hmm Now it's just inescapable to make money because you've given your heart and soul for so many years. I mean, anybody who knows my. My background in just business number one. I didn't go to college, you know, and even if I had gone, it doesn't like they have like entrepreneur in a box. I mean, it's just like it doesn't exist.

But for the first 10 years of my business, I worked probably 60 to 80 hours a week because I was so in love with my clients and I made no money. Like I never made more than $30,000 a year. That was barely enough. By the time I paid taxes and stuff, that was enough to cover workout tights, uh, gym memberships and trainers like, because I loved, I just spent it on like my hobbies.

And so I've been reminding myself, I've never been in it for the money. I've always been in it to change people's lives, and at some point I've been working at it so hard that money is just now coming. And so it's just, but it's, it's tough. Like, you know, you like. Those darker sides of you, or the shadow side is Um, I think it's just always there.

It's like when you extinguish one, another one comes up, it's like, or the one that couldn't have a voice in the room. It's like, like, like think of it if it's like a big room of shadows. And one of them is looming right now. And so that's the one that gets the energy and the focus and all the attention and stuff.

And you finally shine a light and you resolve it. Well, the next shadow just comes up like my turn. Totally. And I think that's, and it's okay. I think that's the part, like when we talk about mental health, like that's so powerful is to notice that like what it, like that this is a part of it. That this doesn't necessarily go away.

And, and I love like thinking about this, like for you, you know, that shadow that you feel yourself experiencing in this massive life of yours is shame. Yes. So interesting. Right. And like to consider like, how is this shame actually serving me? Yeah. In my business as a leader for my clients? Well, not, oh, go ahead.

Ask me your question. Do you, do you feel like there's something there? Yeah, like I think it, well, number one, um, I think one of the reasons why so many people, I guess like follow me and whatnot is because I do work on myself so much and I share that work so much, I don't always share it immediately. Like with the shame around my money, I'm sharing it in my business side, but I haven't yet.

Done enough work to feel one comfortable sharing it in my weight loss side, which a lot of my weight loss clients are gonna hear me talk about this on all these 60 podcasts I've done, not the first time this has come up. So I pretty much have let the, uh, tiger out of the cage on this one. But I always, when I'm working on myself, I'm always trying to think, how can I teach my clients how to go through this too?

Because I know number one, we are all the same. At the end of the day, we're all just humans working through the same freaking problems, and so I'm always looking for ways that, like what thoughts change for me? What's my personal story about this? When I start getting that little bit of wiggle room out of it, I like to immediately start teaching it and sharing it.

I haven't figured it out yet on the, on the shame around my house. Yeah. But I'm real close. I know it all is rooted in, I would never want. Like my business clients, my thought is, well, of course I'm making money. They're trying to build a business too. They get it. My weight loss clients will never understand.

That's been my big thought and I'm working on all of that, you know? Yeah. And the same thing happens for them, like with weight loss, like. A lot of times they don't wanna share their weight loss with their loved ones or whatever because they feel like they're leaving a partner behind or a friend behind.

And so then they have shame around their success because that's really what ends up happening is success, shame. And how, like what we think it's going to do to someone else if we shine. And it's important to work through it. Otherwise, you will pump the brakes on your success. If success equals harming people you care about, you'll never go after success because.

Nobody wants to harm the people they care about. And then you're harming yourself and the people you care about because you're not allowing yourself to be the example of what's truly possible and to fulfill your place in this world. Yeah. And then for me, when, you know, tying that, that shame, that success, shame back it, it reminds me of my weight loss journey because I experienced that there too.

Mm-hmm. And one of the most powerful questions I was ever asked around that that was so helpful for me was when this integrative nutrition doctor said to me, she said, Every choice you make is nurturing something. Oh wow. Every choice you make is nurturing something. And so it's so easy for PE for people to shame and disregard again, the shadow, whether it's shame, whether it's that McDonald's burger that you wish nobody would want, you don't want anyone to see you eating or whatever it is, the cigarettes you're smoking, you know, behind the hospital or whatever.

But she's like, every choice you're making is nurturing something and to allow yourself to explore. How is this serving me? What is this shame, nurturing? What is this limiting belief nurturing? Yeah. When you uncover that, now you have the the, the ability to begin to say, thank you for your service. You can step aside because I have enough way of meeting that need.

Yeah. I love that. I really love that. That's one thing that I always say to my, that I say it similarly, but I like the way you're saying it is. Like every, like e everything that we would consider to be like on the negative experience of thinking or feeling, always has a good intention. Like I just, like, for me, that has helped me at, at the very end of the day, make peace with all the parts of me that come up.

It's like everything is well intended. It's just some of them sound like a jerk. Yeah. So we just need to figure out what is the good intention behind this and like, like you said, like how can we do this in a new way? Totally. So that the intention can be met. Yes, a hundred percent. Cri, thank you so much for being here with us today.

I please, uh, Let people know how they can find you or what you're up to if they wanna know. Yeah, they, if they're interested in the weight loss, they can go to uh, no bs free course.com. And I always suggest people to take the free course first because it gives you a real look into how I teach, cuz it's a very different method of weight loss than what most of us have been experiencing.

Then if you're an online coach, you can go on over to no bs businesswomen.com and you can check out everything that we're doing over there to help women. Start, grow and scale their own online businesses. Heck yeah. I love it. And check out what she's doing in Nashville because O M G, that's amazing. I hope you have the most amazing time there.

Cri, thank you for being here. This was a blast. Uh, we all love you so much. Thank you.

If you enjoyed this episode, take a screenshot of it for me and share it on your favorite social media platform. And in the meantime, I just wanna invite you to remember that you are beautiful, that you are worthy, that you belong. See you next time.