68: The Silent Dream Killer: How Negative Thoughts Hold You Back

This episode addresses the pervasive issue of negative thoughts. From personal experience, Sharon explores how self-doubt can hinder professional growth, particularly for high-achieving women. She offers practical strategies to reframe negative thinking, including gratitude practices and affirmations, and emphasizes that success isn't about perfection but the willingness to learn and grow. The episode concludes with a challenge for listeners to identify and reframe a limiting belief.

Click here to read the full transcript of this episode.
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Over my career, I have accepted various promotions in the corporate space.
Then, at a certain point, I realized that something was very wrong.

I was the only woman in the room. Perhaps there were other women out there experiencing the same. And perhaps those women needed mentors. So, I decided to walk away from my high-paying executive job and started Living While Leading.

High-performing women deserve to be supported through the unique challenges they face in male-dominated spaces.

This is where OWN THE ROOM comes in. You work hard to build your expertise and reputation. You may question if you’re genuinely being seen or heard in specific spaces. This self-doubt impacts visibility, erodes confidence, and affects how others perceive your value.

In your one-off OWN THE ROOM 90-minute private session, I’ll help prioritize individual goals and brainstorm actionable steps.

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Don’t wait for the “perfect” time to invest in yourself. The right time is now. Work with me to unlock your potential and ensure you own every room you enter.

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Transcript

68 The Silent Dream Killer: How Negative Thoughts Hold You Back

Welcome to the Living While Leading podcast, where we unpack the mindset shifts, strategies, and tools you need to thrive professionally and personally. 

Today, we’re diving into a topic that I know many of you can relate to: negative thoughts—those sneaky little voices in your head that can hold you back from achieving the dreams you’ve worked so hard for.

So grab your coffee, tea, or whatever fuels you, and let’s have a heart-to-heart about how to break free from negative thinking and step into your full potential.

You can find the full transcript and resources for women leaders at LivingWhileLeading.com/68.

How Negative Thoughts Hold Back High-Performing Women

 Let’s imagine for a moment that you’re sitting across from me in one of our coaching sessions. You’re a high-performing woman—someone who’s juggling a demanding career, personal goals, and maybe even family responsibilities. You’ve achieved so much already, but lately, you’ve felt stuck.

You tell me things like:

• “I feel like I’m not good enough for that promotion.”
• “What if I fail? What will people think?”
• “I’m afraid to take risks because I don’t want to mess up what I’ve already built.”

Does any of this sound familiar? If it does, let me tell you something right off the bat: You are not alone. Negative thoughts are something we all deal with, myself included.

Overcoming Negative Thoughts: A Personal Story of Growth and Confidence

 Let me share a quick story from my own life. A few years ago, I was preparing for one of the biggest opportunities in my career—speaking at a major conference in front of hundreds of people. On the surface, I looked confident, but inside? Oh boy. The negative thoughts were relentless: “What if I forget what I’m going to say? What if they don’t find my talk valuable? What if I completely embarrass myself?”

I almost let those thoughts convince me to back out. But then I remembered something I often tell my clients: Negative thoughts are just stories we tell ourselves. They’re not facts. So, instead of letting those stories control me, I reframed them. Instead of asking, “What if I fail?” I asked myself, “What if this is an opportunity to grow and inspire others?” That shift made all the difference.

And guess what? The talk went great. More importantly, it taught me that overcoming negative thinking is a skill anyone can learn with practice.

The Real Impact of Negative Thinking on Women’s Careers

Now, let’s talk about why negative thoughts are so powerful and why they can feel like they’re sabotaging your dreams.

Negative thinking creates self-doubt. It makes you question your abilities and worthiness for success. And when self-doubt creeps in, it often leads to hesitation. Maybe you don’t apply for that leadership role because you think you’re not qualified enough. Perhaps you avoid speaking up in meetings because you fear being judged.

Here’s the thing: These thoughts are more than just harmless musings; they carry real significant consequences. Research shows that persistent negative thinking can lead to stress, anxiety, and even burnout. And for women especially, societal pressures can amplify these feelings. A recent survey found that lack of confidence is one of the top reasons women hesitate to pursue higher-level opportunities or start their own businesses.

But here’s what I want you to remember: Negative thoughts are not who you are—they’re just patterns your brain has learned over time.

4 Practical Strategies to Reframe Negative Thoughts and Boost Success

So, how do we break free from these patterns? Let’s dive into four strategies to help you reframe negative thoughts and regain control.

1. Turn “I Can’t” into “I Can Learn”

Instead of saying, “I’m not good enough for this role,” try saying, “I can learn and grow into this role.” This simple shift reminds you that success isn’t about being perfect—it’s about being willing to grow and learn.

2. Practice Gratitude

Gratitude is one of the most powerful tools for shifting your mindset. Write down three things you’re grateful for daily—big or small. Gratitude helps redirect your focus from what’s wrong to what’s right.

3. Use Affirmations

Affirmations may sound cliché, but they work! Replace self-critical thoughts with empowering statements like:

• “I am capable and resilient.”
• “I deserve success.”
• “Every challenge is an opportunity to grow.”

4. Focus on Progress Over Perfection

Perfectionism is a losing game and often fuels negativity. Instead of waiting for everything to be perfect before taking action, take incremental steps toward your goals. Don’t forget: Progress is better than perfection.

The Proven Benefits of Positive Thinking for Career Growth

Now, let’s talk science briefly because this isn’t just about feel-good advice. It’s backed by research.

Studies show positive thinking improves job performance, creativity, and resilience under pressure. When you focus on possibilities instead of problems, your brain becomes better at solving challenges and adapting to change.

Think about it like this: negative thoughts narrow your perspective; positive ones expand it. And when your perspective grows, so do your opportunities.

Rewrite Your Inner Story: Empowering Yourself to Achieve Your Dreams

You have the power to rewrite the stories in your head.

Breaking free from negative thoughts isn’t about ignoring challenges—it’s about approaching them with a mindset that empowers rather than limits you. 

You are not defined by one mistake or setback. You are defined by how you rise after those moments.

This week, my challenge for you is to identify one negative thought holding you back and reframe it using one of my shared strategies. Start small. You’ll be amazed at how much progress you can make when you take it one step at a time.
 
Thank you so much for joining me today. Remember: You can do extraordinary things; don’t let negative thoughts convince you otherwise.

If this episode resonated with you, share it with another amazing woman who could use encouragement today. 

If you'd like more personalized guidance on reframing negative thoughts or achieving your goals, feel free to contact me by visiting the Work with Sharon page on my website, LivingWhileLeading.com, or DM me on LinkedIn. I’d love to support you on your journey.

Remember, you’re the solution to claiming what’s important to you!