Life, Love and a Wild Story From Last Year

Today's episode is a little bit about everything. 

It's my wedding anniversary, so I talk a little about Mark. 

And then, I'm sharing a wild story from last year that I still can't believe actually happened. 

This one isn't heavy, a few thoughts, and a reminder of how far things can change.

Transcript

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Tonight is gonna be a light night. After that heavy three-part series, I figured we'd go light tonight. Life, love, and a wild story from last year. Welcome to Freckles and Chaos. So, first off, today is Mark and I's seven-year wedding anniversary. Thank you, thank you. Um did nothing important except for enjoy our day off. I made chili dogs and tater tots for supper. He made delicious sandwiches for lunch, kind of a late lunch, so um we didn't go heavy for dinner, but we stayed home, been in comfy clothes all day, and that's all I cared about. We haven't even really um hung out. He's been in the bedroom, chilling in our bed, watching TV, and I've been doing my thing. Bought a program, so I've been learning that, and uh yeah, been been busy. It's so hard some days. Uh mama loves nap time on her days off. I really do. I can sit down on the couch to to watch a show. My ass is out fast. Like within five minutes of the show, I'm asleep and I will sleep for hours. It is so nice. It's like the best sleep ever. I used to hate naps, but I I love naps. I am definitely a nap person. But I also have shit to do, so I feel guilty when I get up. So today I did not take a nap. Tomorrow I will be taking a nap. Anyways, yes, it's our anniversary. We had a great day, um, spent some time together a little bit, did our own thing. It's the best. Moving on. Uh we had another anniversary this week. Well, last week, Zachary re Zachary reminded me um Saturday that we were swatted over a year or a year ago. A year ago Friday, we were swatted. So, those of you who are new here, quick story. Um, if anybody doesn't know what swatting is, it's when somebody calls in a fake emergency to 911 and they send cops to your house. So at four o'clock in the morning, we were ripped from our sleep, um, beating on our door. Mark obviously got up to answer it. Um, I heard a bunch of yelling, and then I heard my name being yelled several times because I was trying to go back to sleep, and uh I walked out and there were bright lights and cops yelling at me to put my hands up and to walk out of the house. I had assault rifles pointed at me. They made me turn around and put my hands on the house, and as I was turning, I saw my husband in the yard in handcuffs on his knees. Um they handcuffed me, took me to the yard, set me in the yard next to him, asked if there was anybody else in our house. I said, yes, our son is in there. They went in, woke him up, they handcuffed him, put him in a chair, they searched our house. Uh somebody called and said that Mark had killed his entire family and was gonna burn the house down. No, no, didn't happen. Uh we were able to listen to the phone call at the police station. I didn't recognize the voice, Mark didn't recognize the voice, obviously, they did their investigation and claimed it was an unregistered number from Arizona and with an Arizona area code. I don't know. Uh, they never found out who it was. But it was the most terrifying thing I've ever lived through in my entire life. I've never had a gun pointed at me, let alone um four or five assault rifles. So um, yeah. It was a horrible day, but we went to work like nothing happened and um continued to live our life, but that was the day that I was like, we are moving, we're not staying, we're not staying in this house. Um, I know that it can happen anywhere you're at. I'm not stupid, but um, yeah, it's something I hope I never have to live through again. And no, we don't sit around and laugh about it now, today, now that it's in the past. It's it was terrifying. Like I said, horrible. I don't I think people that do that shit are assholes, and I hope every single one of them that makes that call um gets what they so lovingly deserve. Absolutely. Because it's not fun. It was very scary. And to think that if Mark would have made one wrong move or said wrong one wrong thing, you know, a man of Winchittel died because they s somebody sent the cops to the wrong address. He gave somebody online the wrong address, knowing that the cops wouldn't find him, and that he I don't know. It was on Netflix, it was a show. It all all it all stemmed from fucking video games. Somebody thought it would be funny to send the cops to somebody's house. Anyways, a man in Wichita, Kansas died because somebody sent the cops to his house. Yeah, it's not um funny, it's not a joke, and yeah, that's the end of that. Um, our wedding anniversary is way better than this wedding anniversary. Uh, so another thing I wanted to talk about. So my content is evolving, it's gonna take a little pivot. I when I started my podcast, I needed an outlet to vent about life, everyday life, and the chaos that I we lived. Um, my life isn't so much chaos anymore. I love the name of my podcast and I love the name of my content. Um, I'm not ever gonna change the title because uh in a way there's still chaos every day. It's just not in our house every day anymore. And anyways, uh when I had kind of moved some things around, my content was kind of leaned more towards healing after abuse. And I don't know if people know a whole lot about social media, but when you do lives on TikTok, I know TikTok for sure. I don't know about Facebook, I just assume they're all pretty much the same. You can't say things like abuse or narcissist or um domestic violence. Some of those words are triggers, and uh the TikTok moderators will shut your shit down. So my content is doing a pivot. Not only for that reason, m the other reason is um the more followers I get, uh the more comments I get on my content, which is fantastic. I love it. Uh but not everybody is coming from an abusive relationship or have lived through an abusive relationship. It's other aspects, whether it's work or just family, it's different things. So I guess you could say I I don't want to call it a rebrand, but it's gonna pivot more towards uh I help women recognize unhealthy patterns and relationships so they can finally choose themselves. Because I'm all about helping women choose themselves, not everybody else around them, just themselves. Do something for yourself. An unhealthy relationship or unhealthy patterns can be anything, whether it's relationships or work, family, whatever. I want it to reach all women. I want to help those who have left relationships, I want to help those who are still there, um, helping someone realize they deserve better, you know, like I'm all about helping women see that they deserve better and try and help them figure that out because I'm gonna be 47 years old next month and the first well twenty years of my life, from 18 to 38, was a lot of shitty relationships. Well, yeah, a few relationshi a few shitty relationships and um a lot of unhealthy shit and it's like I said, I'm gonna be forty-seven, it's taken me a long time to figure shit out, and you know, like I'm still healing from my last relationship, which was fuck forever ago. But when you live through that, it's fucking traumatizing. So I'm just still I'm living it and learning, teaching myself, and retraining my brain and working on me, but I want to help other women along the way. Maybe they can figure it out sooner, or help women that have already left how to deal with it. You get it? You get what I'm saying? Maybe, maybe not. I'm no therapist and I'm not no motivational guru or anything like that. I just speak from lived experience and um would like to create space for women to reflect and build a community where women feel seen, and I think it's a fantastic idea. I'm not stupid, nor am I oblivious to how life works, but I always knew that there were a lot of women, and I'm not okay, not solely women, but um men and women in relationships that are shit or men and women that have lived through shit and they're trying to figure stuff out, and I just want to be somebody that can help somebody else do that, and that is my ultimate goal in life. So whatever I have to do to get there, uh that's what I'm working on. Anyway, so my content is pivoting in that direction. So when I get on lives, I don't have to worry about getting shut down because I said a word I'm not supposed to use on social media. Also, things something I learned this week. So I'm sure if you know anything about social media, you know there's an algorithm. So you post a video, it sends your video to like the we'll call it the first batch of people, and if so many people watch it and react, they send it to the next batch, and so on and so forth. Okay, so the more my content is pushed out to non-followers, the more trolls I get. So for instance, last week I posted a video. I don't know, I have four different pillars. I have um morning choose you, evening choose you, I have break the pattern and made by my mistakes. All four of those pillars. I talk, I make videos about all four of those every single day on all plat on all three platforms: TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook. And I believe it was on Facebook. I get a lot of likes, I get a lot of loves, I get um people save my videos to their favorites, um, some people repost my videos, um, and people comment, people DM me, you know, it just varies on the person. Well, I found it odd that I had um somebody had laughed at a video, it was a pretty serious video. I didn't I didn't look back to see what it was for tonight's podcast, but yes, somebody had laughed at it. So I clicked, and what do you know? Two men, two different men laughed at the video, which whatever. It didn't hurt my feelings any. I just thought it was odd since they looked like they would be on women, and um, yes, I will judge and be petty about it because they laughed at my content. It didn't hurt my feelings, but it did piss me off. Anyways, and then this morning I woke up, yesterday morning, I woke up, so Saturday afternoon I had posted a um, I believe it was a break the pattern video, and the first part of the hook was here's a fun little boundary, and then I went on, right, with a video. Something about don't chase people anymore. If you know, if they treat you like shit, stop chasing people. Anyway, some dickhead decided he was gonna comment something about something about chocolate cake, and I looked like I chased I would chase chocolate cake or something, you know, in regards to being a big girl. I laughed out loud. I thought it was funny at first, and then I was like, like my content must be pretty good if it's hitting all these fucking assholes that are obviously narcissistic abusing piece of shit men, I would assume, because my content is triggering something for them, and if they take offense to it, I just kind of assume that that's what they are. So I deleted the comment, or I I think I blocked Dame, so it deleted the comment. Um, TikTok also, you have to go to your settings and then something else, and you can see TikTok will filter comments that have, I don't know, certain words or profanity or something. Anyways, I forget it's there. I forget to look and check it, but after that comment, I was like, oh yeah, TikTok has blah blah blah. So I went to that part in TikTok, and I had some dude went off the fucking rails about one of my content. Oh yeah, typical woman bitching about relationships and blah blah I mean like it was pretty long, it was ridiculously long, and I was like, wow, violence. Violence is never the answer, folks. Never and to get that angry over a woman speaking about something that happens in everyday fucking life, I just find it insane, crazy. Like, I don't know. I know that I watch people all the time on social media and people talk about how there's people out there that will be shitty on your comments or on your posts, and you know, like I'm seeing it now, and I just think it's insane and ridiculous. I can't say that I've had a woman go uh psycho yet, but I guess you know anything can happen. We'll wait and see. So I mentioned that um I'm pivoting on my content, so it can be um all the things women in abusive relationships, women that have left toxic relationships, single moms, divorced moms, empty nesters, everything because it's something that I've lived, so I'm not an expert by any means, but I've lived it so I can talk about my experiences and maybe help somebody else. So it's all under one umbrella. Anyways, my brand is moving um forward. There's some things I can't talk about yet because I'm working on some shit, but I am excited about it, and I can't I can't wait to see where it goes. I also recently made a business plan for Mark for a food truck, which is obviously later down the road, because we have some shit that we need to um we need to get our ducks in a row before we can jump into that, but um I have a business plan ready and I have some phone numbers and some people to talk to to get some information so we can be um absolutely ready when it's time. But I did learn that he can, you know, like he doesn't have a food truck yet, but he could do uh pop-ups. So you can call your county health department and you can get a temporary license or like 20 bucks, I'm guessing. Well, that's like the Google answer, anywhere from five to twenty dollars. But you could get a temporary license, and if he has all the shit that he needs to have to do it, he could do pop-ups. So um around town, ask Tractor Supply, hey, can we do a pop-up? Or the brewery, or you know, like just different shit so he can get started on that, just see how it goes. Um, strictly burgers, because his burgers are the fucking best. I'm telling you, I hate I don't eat burgers any place we go because none of them are gonna be better than his. They're so good. And I just recently started, um, I've never been big on bread anyway, especially on burgers, but you know, it's a burger, so I've always ate it on a bun. Recently quit eating burgers on a bun. And they are so fucking good, you guys. They're so delicious. Uh anyways, a lot of guys at the club say that his burgers are the best county, so hopefully we can get this pop-up thing going and see how he does. And hopefully, you know, things will move along faster. I I don't know, I can't speak for Mark. I am looking forward to the day that we are our own boss. I'm working on my stuff because I'm tired of living paycheck to paycheck. I am I mean everybody has debt. It's fucking America. Everybody lives in debt, but I would like to pay some shit off. And I'm hoping that with my brand, with what I'm doing, I can make enough money to pay off some debt, and then have enough extra to put aside for his food truck because I want him to have his dream. Like I'm working on mine and I have to help him achieve his. That's the goal. And I think it's fantastic. I it's gonna happen. It will happen one day. I just hope it's sooner than later. I hope it's um very much sooner. Very, very much sooner. I said I was gonna give it another three years, but I hope it's way sooner than that. I wanted to end it with something I've learned the hard way. Peace is something you don't fully understand until you've lived without it. And now that I have it, I protect it with everything I've got. And I think everybody else should do the same thing. I think everybody should protect their peace, work hard to have it every day, because peace will change your life, and it might sound crazy to some, it might sound realistic to others. I just know that that is the best part of my day is the the peace. And I guess most of the people that that uh probably know me are probably thinking, Who the fuck is this bitch? Because I am completely different than I was a year ago. Completely different. I mean, like I still have my smart ass personality, and um I still speak my mind. Sometimes it gets me in trouble, sometimes it doesn't. But I am other than that, I'm completely different than I was um a year ago. I have a different outlook on life. I I know what I want in life, I know what it's gonna take to achieve what I want in my life. I know that I try to be a better person every single day I wake up when something happens and I feel that um mean side start to come out. I try to keep her tame and under control. I don't like being mad, I don't like being angry. All it does is make you fucking miserable, and I hate being miserable. Um laughter is one of the best medicine that you can have, and I would just assume be happy and laughing and having a good time versus being pissed off, miserable, and angry all the time. I don't want drama in my life. I love peace, and I hope that every single one of you that listens to this podcast has that in their life, and if you don't, I hope you find it. If this resonated with you, take what you need and leave the rest until next time!