The Gift of Dyslexia

My guest today is Sarah Talbot. Sarah is a Big Bear High School graduate, she earned her bachelor's degree in Human Development from CSU San Marcos, and is in her final year of her master's program in school counseling at Northern Arizona University, all while dealing with a major learning disability.

Music by DayFox from Pixabay - Salangseuleoun

Transcript

Cecilia  00:10

Hello and welcome to parenting with passion. My name is Cecilia Holguin, Family Engagement Manager for SBCSS, and today we will discuss the challenges students face with learning. While there are many challenges our students may face with learning, some may be just a little bit more challenging than others. My guest today is Sarah Talbot. Sarah is a big bear high school graduate, she earned her bachelor's degree in Human Development from CSU San Marcos, and is in her final year of her master's program in school counseling at Northern Arizona University, all while dealing with a major learning disability. Welcome, Sarah.

Sarah  00:50

Hi, thanks for having me.

Cecilia  00:53

Will you please describe your learning challenges for our parents listening today.

Sarah  00:58

So I was diagnosed with a specific learning disability, and the most impactful of that being a visual processing disorder, which was dyslexia, and dyscalculia, and dysgraphia. But that really boiled down to just really struggling to learn to read and comprehend reading when I was reading myself, and then my spelling and writing. So all of that like basic level language stuff, it was just not getting in. And so once we kind of reached the understanding that that just wasn't something that I was going to be able to conquer, and finding adaptive technology to assist me with that really opened the door to the learning that I was capable of with having support in those areas that just were not clicking for me.

Cecilia  01:47

Wow, okay, and what grade did they figure out that you were struggling?

Sarah  01:52

I was diagnosed in third grade. And I think, my teacher that year really sauce and significant lag in my learning compared to the other students. And that's when they started to think that it was something maybe more serious.

Cecilia  02:08

Yeah. Wow. Okay. And growing up as you moved on through school, do you feel that your teachers really understood your struggles? And provided you really with the supports needed?

Sarah  02:19

I would say yes, for the most part, I had a really beautiful supportive education team around me. I only ran into a few roadblocks of teachers, not necessarily wanting me to get switched out of special education. And that was definitely challenging and put on some high stakes for when I was switched out. But thankfully, that was few and far between.

Cecilia  02:50

That's great. That's really great to hear. We hope that all of our teachers support our students in that same way, with your family, at home with your parents, how was it with them? Do you have also parents that struggle with that same ability? Or did you find that you were maybe the only one in the household that struggled in that way?

Sarah  03:13

I think as we learned about my struggles, and the way it impacted me, I think it was kind of lightbulb moments for my whole family of Oh, yeah, I think that maybe I struggled with that in education, too. But it just wasn't a time where that was being diagnosed or really looked for. But I was incredibly supported by my family. And I truly can say, I would not be here without the support of my family that it was the key to my education.

Cecilia  03:39

That is so amazing. Yeah, parents are so instrumental to our kids, especially when they struggle with something and overcoming that struggle. And you definitely have shown that you have overcome the struggle. I know, this is something that you don't outgrow, you know, it's something that you will consistently have to overcome in your life. But, you know, you went through junior high in high school, and now you're in your last year in your master's program. So first congratulations for that. That's amazing. That is so amazing. But can you share with us, maybe some of the tricks and resources that you've learned that helped you really overcome some of these challenges?

Sarah  04:17

Yeah, for sure. Um, I'll start with like the nitty gritty like, technology wise. I have been through so many different iterations of assistive technology. What I'm using right now that I find incredibly helpful, is called speechify. And this is a software that was designed by a dyslexic person, and it's the most, I really like it. It's the best I've ever used. Unfortunately, it does have some paywalls. So if for anybody that is looking into that, just be mindful of those types of things. And then Don Johnson has a full like assistive technology suite and I use see things from that, again, within like reading and spelling is where I'm most impacted. So for, like websites and stuff, it has this little cursor that you can like snap kind of a screenshot of the text, and then it'll process it and read it to you for that kind of like quick needing to read. And then I mainly just use I have a MacBook, and on there it has just built in assistive technology. And so that's what I use for dictation and things like that. And those are like, the things that have gotten me through college, I really would not be able to function in the way that I have, without those three things. And then shifting into just like functioning with a disability in higher education in general. It's, it's heavy, it's really hard and draining, I have been in contact with all of my disabled student services at the two colleges that I have attended. And that is incredibly helpful. I know that for some coming into college without IEP, like I had, um, it can be a bit of a struggle, but I have been friends with people that have gotten in touch with their disabled student services, without an IEP, and they really are able to work with you as best they can and provide you at least something to help in those areas. So just being in touch and and making people aware of your situation, I would say is invaluable. I'm always emailing my professors, the first week of school, just letting them know, like I am dyslexic. And so I navigate this a little bit differently, I might have some questions, just so you know, going forward, just to be as open and honest, as you're comfortable with about your situation so that, you know, it's not coming out of the blue, if you're struggling with something, and then you have to kind of debrief in the entire situation. And then really help really utilizing your support system. I I like I said would not be here without the support that I have had, and really just working on cutting myself a break. But this is really hard. And this is hard for anybody. And it, you know, is compounded by the fact that I have to almost take double the amount of time to do these things. And just be mindful of that I would never judge another person struggling with this stuff, that they're not functioning at the level that I expected myself and just checking myself on those things. Because it's so easy to be self critical. We all do it. So 

Cecilia  07:38

Yes, it is, it is. Well, I think you hit on a lot of great things. And one of the main things I took out of that right now was you talking to your teachers early on, I think that's so important to keep that communication intact. Because while you may understand what you need, sometimes maybe other people don't understand that they don't have that same challenge. So I think that that's really helpful. And you know, technology has come so far, my husband just to share a little something personal, my husband who's 39 years old, he also has the same exact challenges as you exactly the same. And so as a 39 year old growing up a very different generation, he had to struggle in a in a different way, find those resources in a different way. And I see that, even like today, he kind of goes back to the resources he knew back then versus using new technology today. Like for example, he uses a ruler or maybe some sort of other paper to when he is trying to read something, I noticed he will cover up the rest of the print and just read one line at a time. That's very helpful for him. And I think that can be helpful even for our little kids. You know, as they're starting to learn to read, sometimes it's so much, you know, so busy on the paper, or on the computer screen even. And so just like breaking it down a little bit can be helpful. But I love the electronic devices that help read aloud because that's amazing. He has this digital pin, it looks like a pin. And if you go over a word, it will say that word out loud or you can connect it to your headphones. So it doesn't, you know if you're taking a test or something that's been super helpful to Yeah, and I know color coding, color coordinating has been amazing for him as well. And I see that a lot with kids. Maybe breaking down different sections of the reading in different colors can be helpful because learning, you know, it's a different style for everybody. And there's a lot of visual learners out there. And I think that's part of this ability is processing more visually. And so when we're working with our littles I think there's little charts with like photos of what you're trying to get across so you save sentence like, if it's a chart reminder of like clean your room or do your homework, you know, after that sentence, we want to make sure that we put a visual right next to that. So they, they can kind of connect the sentences to the picture to the visual that they need. Yeah, and something that's really helped me. This is an older book, but it helped me understand my husband's ability and his challenges. It's called The Gift of dyslexia by Ronald Davis. And it really shows and breaks down what is dyslexia and other abilities as well. And challenges such as ADD ADHD, and processing, there's just so many different challenges that so many kids face. And I think that's really important for us as parents to understand it, first, learn about it ourselves, so we can best support our kids, such as your parents did for you. And it's just such an amazing thing to hear how you can, you know, account for your success with your parents support, I think that's really amazing. I know also, it's been a struggle for our kids who do have any type of learning challenge to feel like they belong in a certain group or in a in their classroom. There's a lot of anxiety. I know with my husband, whenever, you know, he would discuss his time in school. And when it was time to read out loud, that was the scariest thing for me would find an excuse to leave because he's like, I, you know, I can't do this. This is too much pressure. How did you overcome situations like that was? What kind of feelings did that bring up for you?

Sarah  11:45

Yeah, I mean, like popcorn reading, is the scariest thing ever, I still struggle with a lot of this anxiety is specifically within the classroom setting. I feel like in my day to day life, I've gotten very comfortable with just owning, like, I'm dyslexic, I'm not able to do some of these things. But in academics, there's just a certain amount of pressure that I still do feel. And going back to what I said previously, of kind of just giving yourself a break and understanding that there is some stuff that's just going to be different. And I'm rolling with anxiety, for a long time, I tried to fight it and ignore it and push it off, that this was, you know, hand in hand with my disability is all of these emotional things with being disabled. And not until this year, I would say is I've really given over to my anxiety is, is just as much a part of this experience as the my, you know, struggles in reading and things like that. And really kind of pairing those two things is the empathy that I have for myself, in the umbrella of, I'm not able to spell very well, I'm unable to read very well, has not carried over to I have anxiety, and I put a lot of pressure on myself to do these things. And that empathy just has not transferred. So I'm really trying to carry over how much grace I give myself in the areas that are so obviously impacted, and slow into just how it feels to be disabled. And hear that empathy into those situations of when my disability is kind of highlighted, like in situations where I'm supposed to read something. I can't do anything to change that. And I'm not a lesser being because I can't and it's a process it takes I think it'll take my whole life, I don't think that that will be something I'll just be able to switch and not feel anymore, but just maintaining that kind of mindfulness around it.

Cecilia  13:48

Wow, that's amazing. I know, a lot of challenges with reading, like you were saying really just brings up some self esteem issues, especially for our younger students. And as they're growing up. And I think it's important for parents to really remind our kids that they may have a struggle, a challenge with this reading with whether it's ADHD or dyslexia processing. But we have other abilities, right, whether you're going to shine in other areas that maybe I can't even shine in. For example, utilizing the book that I referred to the gift of dyslexia, they really talk about people who have these type of challenges are really more highly aware of their environment. They're more curious than others. They have a better imagination and can be more creative. They can process thoughts faster. You know, they have, like I said, vivid imaginations and that really goes I think hand in hand with the type of careers that we see. I Um, people joining in who we might not even under, you know, know that they have a challenge in that way. And that that also goes hand in hand with all these great famous people who actually have come out and said, Hey, I have this disability. The one that pops in my head right away is Walt Disney. You know, how amazing is that? The most creative person? You know, he also struggled with a learning disability. So I think that's really important to understand. And like you said, give, give our kids grace and give yourself grace. It's so important. Do you believe that your frustration with learning affect your behavior in the classroom when you were younger,

Sarah  15:42

I saw that happen a lot. I didn't have like, behaviors that were like outbursts and things like that I was very internal, I was very shy. So my, like struggles within the classroom weren't just like in attentiveness and kind of checking out and being so insular. But to a teacher, they praised that. And sometimes that wasn't always a good thing, how quiet I was, because I was slipping through the cracks in some ways, but I was behaving well, so it wasn't an issue. So I didn't personally struggle with that. But I definitely saw my my friends that were in special ed to begin with, and then switch into mainstream have those types of struggles. And it was, it was really sad to see, you know, teachers not be able to have the empathy for maybe some of the reasons that they were struggling, it is really scary. And for kids, when you get scared, you act out. And that was very impactful for me to watch. And now going into education myself, that's something I really tried to be mindful of.

Cecilia  16:58

Wow, yeah, that's very important. And it you're right, it depends on really the child's personality, if they're going to cope with it internally, which can be just as dangerous. If they are, you know, internalizing all those feelings versus, you know, making it outside and, you know, screaming, yelling, maybe becoming more physical, there's so many different ways kids are going to handle their struggles, because they don't quite understand it themselves. I know, growing up, I would work with my kids growing up, I would make sure that my teachers had some additional supports, my daughter is a very visual learner. So the classroom has to be colorful for her, it has to be something where she can see and connect what she's hearing from the teacher, what she's reading material wise, to a visual. And that's how it connects for her. And so I encourage all parents to really take a look at their kids classrooms, especially when they're young. And make sure that those little tweaks are in place and having that conversation early on with the teacher just like you were explaining that was helpful for you. But what kind of other recommendations would you have for a parent who might be struggling with their students learning challenges?

Sarah  18:15

I think like you said earlier, just trying to understand the experience. And for me, like when I read about dyslexia, I don't relate to, like, the main points that are classic for dyslexia. So really talking to your kid about, like, what it feels like for them what it looks like, and all of the experiences around it that are not necessarily about education, I, I think bringing the understanding that this is something that you're going to carry for the rest of your life. And now it's highlighted that you're in school. But what are the other ways like when we're shopping? What does it like for you? Can you read that sign, or just things like that, and trying to incorporate it into the entirety of their life, not in a way that's dragging them down, but in a way to prepare them that this is something we need to think about and prepare for, in all of these ways. And also bringing in, like you said, all of the beautiful things that they get to do and see because they see things differently. And I think sometimes that can feel a little dismissive, but I think when it's done well of your struggle is so real. And I see it and I'm sorry, but also look at how much art you can create or how you can connect with people because you see things differently, and really trying to be their champion as much as you can and reflect back to them that I see you in your wholeness and that is not anything that is, you know, brought down by your disability, but it is, you know, makes you flourish and all of these other ways and we will together find help helpful ways to make sure that you can succeed and whatever that looks like and if that's not in school, we will find a path once you're done that is right for you.

Cecilia  20:01

That is so perfect. Thank you, Wow, very impactful for our parents. I know that can be just opening up that communication is number one, and building up that trust with your with your child. And because it is hard to talk about, maybe a struggle that they're having. But once you build that trust in that relationship with them, it's so needed. And I just love what you said, Thank you, thank you. What type of advice would you have for another student that may be facing that? Especially for our adolescents? Right? And maybe in elementary, we're not quite understanding it yet. But in junior high, you're really starting to see how this is affecting you. And in high school. And I think, at that age, you're more self conscious. And you want to hide it maybe from your friends, and you're more embarrassed about it. So what type of advice would you have for students of that age group?

Sarah  20:58

I would say, just to be patient with yourself. I mean, middle school, high school, is not a cakewalk by any means for anyone, and like your struggles aren't necessarily unique in just feeling insecure. And, you know, like I said, they are compounded by all of these things that could be, you know, pointed out as being different, and that is really uncomfortable. But in time, you know, you will learn to just incorporate and love these things about yourself. But it takes a long time. And just maintaining that grace and patience, that maybe this is still really uncomfortable for you. But it will always be like this, and you will grow into yourself and in all of the ways that we do and just development. And this is, you know, a different experience. But it's not unlike all of the other ways. So we have to learn to love ourselves. And, yeah, I would just say Patience is key, and taking things slowly and just allowing yourself to be as you are, and not trying to cover up in in huge ways, I completely understand the coping mechanism of not wanting to talk about it. And that's completely fine. But not taking that to the extreme of hiding who you are. And just, you know, taking it as it comes.

Cecilia  22:31

That's wonderful. Sara happens to be the daughter of our Podcast Producer here at SPSS. And I'd like to invite Dave, to say a few words.

Dave  22:41

You know, Sarah is a straight A student, and nothing was given to her. She worked extremely hard. And I think that's one thing that you don't see with someone like Sarah is how much harder she has to work and the pressure that puts on her.

Sarah  23:00

Yeah, that's definitely, I think that's the big part that I was kind of trying to touch on on the emotional aspect is like it during the semester, I am kind of a student robot, like I really do have to let go of a lot of my hobbies and friends and things like that, and that is grueling. But I, I wouldn't be able to do it if I wasn't so passionate about school counseling, and I want it to be that because that is the light at the end of the tunnel. So I feel so grateful that I know what I want to do. And that path is so clear to me, because without that it would be so hard to put in the effort that I do have to put in.

Cecilia  23:41

Well you're doing amazing,

Sarah  23:42

thank you.

Dave  23:43

 I think the thing that a lot of people don't realize also, and I'd really like to see this changed is even though it's well documented that Sarah needs accommodations for math, she still held to the standards of every other student in some of California state testing. And it just doesn't make any sense. You know, the way we kind of have tried to make sense of it for others is, so you're going to make everyone run a mile. And here's a person without any legs, and you're going to make them run a mile without any assistive devices. That's what it's like for Sarah. She doesn't have math legs, but they're still expecting her to do the math without accommodation. Yeah.

24:32

In like I would go through a whole school year with all of my accommodations, and it would be hunky dory and fine. And then standardized testing would come around and they would want to see my basic skills without any accommondations. And I don't really have basic skills without accommodations, I'm able to reach these milestones of education because of my accommodations so then they get shipped away and It just doesn't compute for somebody that's experiencing it for you to want to know my basic skills, but not in the way that I have learned how to do these things and the ways that I have had to, you know, find ways around my disability. So, yeah, I mean, I still am with the Cbest to work in California. I can't take it because they denied me my accommodations. So there's still so many roadblocks that are just like, so. Wow, obviously, ableist. But I just think that it's so ingrained in the ways that we view people's abilities. But like, Well, you shouldn't use a calculator if you're getting tests on your, on your skills in math, and it's like, but I can do math, if I have a calculator, because you're not asking the addition problems. You're asking me all of these other problems, but I can't do addition. So I can't even start.

25:57

Yeah, and then you're kind of put back into the cycle of, you know, struggling mentally, and with your self esteem all over again, and starting that cycle again. And you know, as far as you're saying, accommodations with the calculator, that blows my mind, because today, at at our job, if I don't know something, I am considered resourceful and figuring it out via Google or calculator. Like that's, that's considered resourceful. So we want our employees to do these things. We have to get caught up in the school system to understand that these things are not crutches, they are supports there. You know, what is a crutch? a crutch is there to support you.

Sarah  26:40

 Exactly. 

Cecilia  26:41

So we've come far with technology, but we're still not there yet. And that saddens me about you know, you're explaining to Cbest, oh, my goodness, that's a roadblock that is preventing you to excel in your career. And you have, you're so instrumental in supporting kids with this type of challenge. You would do amazing things for our kiddos. It's just really saddens me.

Dave  27:07

Yeah. It's frustrating. It's very frustrating.

27:10

Yeah. So it's, it's our struggles that our struggles don't define us. Right. It's our ability to try harder and overcome these challenges. And you really have done a such an amazing job of doing that. And we're in awe of you, and I wish you all the best and your final year of your master's program. So again, congratulations. 

Sarah  27:30

Thank you. 

Cecilia  27:31

And tune in next week, because we're going to talk about positive parenting for challenging teams. So we're going to have a discussion that addresses really at all truancy, drugs, runaway social media violence. So we're going to come up with some solutions, have a real discussion and find out some ongoing support. Thanks again for listening and remember parents, you are doing an amazing job. You are amazing, and you are raising amazing humans. So take a breath. Enjoy the little moments, and we'll see you next time.