Before You Set Another Goal: Try This Instead

Every January, we’re encouraged to set new goals, create resolutions, and push ourselves toward change. And yet, so many well-intentioned resolutions quietly fade by February.

In this episode, I’m sharing a different approach—one that works with your brain, your nervous system, and your values instead of against them.

Rather than asking, “What should I do this year?”
We explore a more powerful question: “Who am I choosing to become?”

You’ll learn why a personal manifesto can be a more effective, sustainable alternative to traditional New Year’s resolutions—and how it can guide daily decisions, reduce overwhelm, and support real alignment in your health, habits, and calling.

We’ll talk about:

• Why New Year’s resolutions often fail (from a neuroscience perspective)
• How identity-based change creates lasting momentum
• What a personal manifesto is—and what it is not
• How clarity, courage, and calling shape better decisions
• A simple 60-second daily practice to stay aligned all year
• Why this approach supports mind, body, and spirit
• How this becomes a foundation for your healthiest year ever

This episode also serves as a jumpstart to the work we’ll be doing inside the Yes Society in January—where we focus on clarity, nervous system regulation, intentional habits, and whole-life well-being.

If you’re tired of starting over every January and ready for a more grounded, life-giving way forward, this conversation is for you.

✨ Want to join us and create your healthiest year ever?
 The Yes Society is open, and you’re welcome here.

Transcript

juli: 0:00

Every new calendar year, every Monday, sometimes even every new day, brings a fresh, blank slate, right? It's time that we can start things new. We can start a new habit, we can get healthier. On Monday, I'm gonna start eating healthy and do my workouts. tomorrow I'm gonna start walking well. We're also coming up on a new year, and every January we tell ourselves the same story. This is the year. The year we finally get disciplined, focused, consistent, healthy, different. We make resolutions with the best of intentions, and by February, many of them feel heavy, unrealistic, or quietly abandoned. And this isn't just in the new year. This can be what you say on Friday that you're gonna do on Monday. It's not because we don't care, it's because resolutions and that kind of goal setting it asks us to do more. Well, really, transformation asks us to be more aligned and that's really what we're looking for. this is where the personal manifesto changes everything. so we're gonna talk about the problems that we might have in reaching our goals and making improvements and doing some of the things that we really want to do. And it's because we really don't wanna do more. Nobody wants to do more. we wanna be more, we want to become something that maybe we aren't yet, or we wanna get better at, something that we can see will benefit us. And the problem with setting the kind of goals that require us to do more from the brain's perspective is that most resolutions, and I'm not just talking about New Year's, these happen all year round. you are somebody who is invested in personal improvement and you, set goals and have desires for being better or, getting better at something, Most resolutions are outcome focused. I'm gonna lose weight, be more productive. they're behavior heavy. I'm gonna work out five times a week and stop procrastinating. they're also emotionally detached. They a lot of times start with the word should, I should do this. Now, from a neuroscience standpoint, that's a tough sell. When stress is high or motivation dips, the brain defaults to familiar patterns and emotional safety and short term relief. this is why on Sunday, we can be really determined to do something on Monday. then on Monday morning we get up and reality kicks in and we default to familiar patterns, emotional safety and short term relief we can always start later on Monday. We can always start on Tuesday. We can always decide we are gonna do this next week when I have a better plan. Now resolutions often rely also on willpower, and that lives in the prefrontal cortex, and that's the part of the brain that gets depleted when life gets full. This is the perfect time of the year the brain is really full and it gets. Depleted. We're busier at work. if you're in healthcare right now, everybody's trying to get their appointments in, their surgeries in, if you're in retail, everybody's shopping and there's a lot going on. We're doing our own shopping and our own things, getting ready for the family. Christmas celebrations decision fatigue is a real thing. So willpower relies on that prefrontal cortex, and that's the part of the brain that gets depleted when life gets full. when we fail, we don't just lose momentum, we lose confidence. and that's really something to think about right now, So why would a personal manifesto work differently? if you haven't ever written a personal manifesto, it's actually really fun, especially if you get started in a workshop or in a group where you have the tips and can get help with. Making the words right for you and personalizing it, a lot of times when we read books about it or watch YouTube on personal manifestos. Because you want this to be personal to you. reading a book about it, reading an article, taking someone else's formula for the personal manifesto, that can be helpful to jumpstart, but you need to be able to customize that and make this your own. that matters because identity drives behavior. when you name what you value and how you wanna show up, what you return to, when things get messy, you reduce that decision fatigue and increase the follow through. when your brain doesn't have to ask, what should I do? it already knows, this is who I am, and that's alignment. And alignment is far more sustainable than pressure. Now what a personal manifesto actually is. A personal manifesto is a short present tense statement that acts as a daily compass. It anchors you in identity. It clarifies those non-negotiable values. It Translates belief into everyday action and it gives you something to return to under stress. In the moment, I think of whenever I hear the word willpower, I am transported, back to my workplace when a box of crumble cookies shows up because we like those crumble cookies and they are delicious. Maybe not aligned with my personal values. To honor my body would be to devour a whole cookie, but I could have a bite without guilt if I wanted to. Now, if I have a goal and I've already committed to an intention that day to not consume extra sugar, this is who I'm becoming, somebody who can trust myself, somebody who keeps my promises to me, somebody who honors their body then it becomes a different choice. It's not motivational fluff. It's a practical tool for real life. If I wanna be somebody who keeps my word to myself, then I have to be able to do that no matter what shows up or what obstacles present themselves. that decision, makes it so that I've made it ahead of time and when I make it, I'm not depriving myself, I'm honoring myself. Now, I'm gonna give you a simple manifesto framework. Even though I said you need to make this your own. If this doesn't resonate with you, then you can, change this up. The structure that you can use right now and the structure that I use is I choose to be, and then the identity I value, and this is where you plug in your core principles. I act by the behaviors that you want to follow those principles and be aligned with those. when I feel uncertain, I return to. this is where you plug in a guiding truth. You make it short, memorable, and usable. Something that you can even put on an index card and stick it in your purse. Put it on your mirror wherever you're gonna see it. I would say memorize it so that you always have it in your head. I have mine on my phone when I wake up. that's the text that comes up on my alarm. an example manifesto, and you can borrow this if you want to, but I expect that you'll make it your own when you get comfortable with this whole thought. I choose to live with clarity, courage, and compassion. I honor my body, my calling and my capacity. I make decisions based on alignment, not fear, and I show up fully, trust God with the outcome and move forward with intention. this isn't something you post and forget or write down or do as a workshop and then move on. It's something that you practice, How manifesto's become embodied is through daily alignment, and you have to practice this. So I'm gonna give you a 62nd daily alignment practice, so that you can try on your own. this is how manifestos really take hold. And then you start to integrate them they're not just aspirational. once you get your manifesto written out and you read it to yourself and think, yes, that sounds like me. That sounds like something I'm gonna try. Now, when you write your first manifesto, It's not the final draft. It doesn't have to be. So if you start to work with this and it starts to feel a little bit off or not you, then change it up. Alright? take one slow, deep breath in through your nose and a longer exhale out, and then read your manifesto out loud if possible. Ask, what is one choice today that aligns with this? Take a deep breath, read your manifesto, and ask yourself, What's one choice today that aligns with this? And then do that one thing. no overhaul, no perfection, just alignment. Practiced every day. This is a great way to start your morning when we talk about morning routines, this might be a one simple way that you can do this. And if you haven't memorized. You can do it on your way to work. So really super simple, but very powerful. Now, why is this a better starting point than any resolution? a manifesto will evolve with you. it will become more meaningful as you go. It supports your nervous system. It works on your hardest days, not just on your motivated ones. That's a big one. So if you're having a bad day. Your manifesto will get you through that. It will redirect you and do it quickly. I had my own little meltdown yesterday over all the loose ends that I need to tie up and the work that I need to do, I was making it something that it wasn't. the manifesto works on your hardest days, not just your motivated ones. It integrates the mind, body, and spirit. It keeps you consistent and aligned with who you are and invites grace and direction, not shame and shoulds. That's a big deal too. Because we are at capacity. I think every one of us at shame and shoulds. It's not about doing everything either. It's about doing the right next thing on purpose, and that might be your next right thing might be the same as mine was yesterday. Just to sit down, list the things that you have to do and plug them into your calendar over the week so that you can see that yes, indeed, I do have time to do these things. I chose to do these things in the. First place and just because today my brain is betraying me a little bit, I could drop back into a prefrontal cortex kind of organization and decide what to do when it's about doing the next right thing on purpose. if this is resonating with you, this is a jumpstart to the work we're doing in January inside the Yes society. January isn't about pushing harder if you are interested in that, I've just given you an advanced look. You know when you were. In school and the teacher is assigning you a worksheet, maybe it's in a classroom setting or a workshop, and they tell you not to look at it. And all you wanna do is look at it so you can get a little advantage, get a head start. Well, I just gave you that. I just gave you a peek at the work we're gonna do. Because January isn't about pushing harder. The Yes, society is about creating alignment and becoming our healthiest self mind, body, and spirit living aligned lives with our purpose and calling. It's about really becoming who we are meant to be that extraordinary self that we want to become our default mode. It's about revisiting the fundamentals, clarifying the identity and values, regulating the nervous system. Some of us have. Completely unregulated nervous systems, and when you are in that state, you are not going to be at full capacity. You're not going to read your full potential or see your dreams manifested because an unregulated nervous system is gonna hold you in the state you are until you regulate and can move through that in a healthy way. It's also about setting intentions that actually stick, building habits that support us as a whole person. It's not about shame and shoulds we need to get past that and become. The amazing. Extraordinary people that we are. Your personal manifesto becomes a foundation, something that we'll return to as we build your healthiest year ever together. I hope that you are considering joining the Yes Society because it really is phenomenal. We just had our year end, celebration and I am amazed by these. Humans that are doing extraordinary work on themselves, getting past things that have been there for a long time they've gone through some really tough things and they're getting through them and using all of that power. To become who they really want to be and find their purpose and their voice. I'm so honored to be on that journey with such amazing humans. so if you're tired of starting over every January, if you're, you're tired of the shame and the shoulds, you're ready to create a year rooted in alignment and clarity and care, I'd love to talk with you. It's maybe not for everyone. meet with me, talk with me. We'll get on the phone for 20 minutes or on Zoom, whatever works for you, and we'll come up with a step that gets you your personal manifesto or get you pointed in that right direction. So you'll get a lot outta this call and either way, but then you can find out if this is a fit. I'd be honored to walk with you through this. It's a space For those ready to say yes to their health, their calling and the life they're created to live. And this is it again, about becoming someone new. you are enough, just how you are, You have everything inside you to be the extraordinary self that you desire to be every single day. We all face obstacles. we're not a hundred percent happy all the time, and it's really not even about that. It's just about living on purpose and living aligned So if you wanna join or have your healthiest year ever, schedule a call with me and we'll talk some more And if that is not something that you're ready for, to actually have a conversation with me on Zoom or on phone, then get on the email list, subscribe to this, share it, share the podcast. That would mean so much to me It's a way for us to stay on this journey together because it's not about becoming someone new or different, it's about returning to who you already are on purpose as you get up every day and default to yes, your extraordinary self.