Menopause Rise and Thrive | Helping Women Navigate Midlife and Menopause

99. Rewire Your Brain for Lasting Change with Adele Spraggon

• Dr. Sara Poldmae | Healer, Doctor of Acupuncture and Chinese medicine, and Functional Medicine Practitioner

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Are you stuck in patterns that no longer serve you? Do you struggle with habits, behaviors, or beliefs that feel impossible to change? In this episode, we’re diving deep into the power of neuroplasticity and how you can rewire your brain for lasting transformation.

My guest today is Adele Spraggon, an award-winning author, internationally recognized thought leader, and expert in behavioral change. She’s here to share her groundbreaking four-step method, which is backed by neuroscience and has helped thousands of people break free from self-limiting patterns. Whether you’re dealing with stress, emotional eating, or struggling to set boundaries, Adele’s approach will give you the tools to create real, lasting change—without relying on willpower alone.

 

In this episode:

  • Why traditional self-help methods often fail—and what actually works
  • How brain patterns shape your habits, emotions, and beliefs
  • The surprising truth about why willpower doesn’t work long-term
  • Adele’s four-step process for rewiring your brain
  • How to break free from food cravings and emotional eating
  • Using this method to set better boundaries and say ‘no’ with confidence
  • Why your brain is your best ally in creating lasting change

 

Resources Mentioned:

 

Connect with me, Sara Poldmae:

If you loved this episode, please follow the show and leave a review! Your support helps us continue to bring you empowering conversations to thrive in midlife. Until next time, take charge of your mind, body, and spirit—and live fully with intention.

Have a question I can answer? Send me a message! I love to hear from my listeners!

Sara Poldmae:

Sarah, welcome to the midlife rise and thrive podcast. I am your host. Dr Sarah pulpning, if you have been wondering how to feel your best in mind, body and spirit as you navigate through midlife, then this is the show for you. Each week. I'm sharing accessible education, heartfelt stories and exclusive interviews. We will be talking about everything from health and wellness to sex and relationships and the many challenges and opportunities that come with mid life, it's time to take charge and live fully with intention as you write your next chapter. Let's get started. Hello, ladies, today we have an incredible guest who is transforming lives by showing people how to harness the power that lies within their own brain. Adele spragin is an award winning author, internationally recognized thought leader and behavioral change expert who helps people break free from self limiting patterns and rewire their brains for success. Her groundbreaking four step method, which we will hear about today, is backed by neuroplasticity and has empowered 1000s to shift their thinking and unlock their highest potential. Get ready for an eye opening conversation about what rewiring your brain for lasting transformation. Welcome to the show. Adele,

Adele Spraggon:

thank you, Sarah, so happy to be here absolutely well, I am looking

Sara Poldmae:

forward to picking your brain about how we can change our brains, because I think in menopause, midlife, perimenopause, we definitely can have some symptoms of brain fog. We can have some symptoms of doom and gloom, and we just sometimes feel like our brains are not serving us. And I think that we can definitely flip a switch, and it's experts like you that will help us to get where we need to be. So please share with us anything else you want to about yourself, and then we'll dive right in.

Adele Spraggon:

Yeah, sure. So I've been doing this about 14 years now. I started where many people are or stuck. I was stuck in my career, but I was also stuck in patterns of people pleasing and things like that, panic attacks and regardless of how much I did, Sarah and I did a lot, I did meditation, I was doing yoga, I was doing therapy, I still couldn't fully break free of the things that kept holding me back. And so eventually I had this insight, and I went, Wait a minute, my brain is at the center of everything that I do, everything I think, all my beliefs, they originate in my brain. So if I can use the brain plasticity to transform those brain patterns, then maybe I could break free of all those things that were holding me back. And so that's what I did. I went to university. I started studying, how does this brain of ours actually work, and I created this four step technique that transformed my life, and we'll get into more about that, and transform the people that I work with and without, all the willpower and the effort and the mindset and the, you know, the need to strive and go places without all of that, I was actually transforming what was in my way by letting it go. And so that was my huge insight, that using the brain plasticity, we can actually just step out of one identity into another identity, one in which I was stuck into another one in which I just opened doors.

Sara Poldmae:

I love that. And there's so much to that. There's so much great research and work being done around neuroplasticity and the fact that we can really create our reality. And a lot of time, my patients will come in and say, I don't feel like myself anymore, and I challenge them to say, Okay, well, do you want to feel like yourself? First of all, let's ask that question, and if so, you know you have the power the mindset shifts that need to happen in order to become that person again, within yourself. So let's see how we can do it. I know that you have a four step method, and I would love to hear the process of how you take women through creating these changes. Because oftentimes, when I'm asking women to make lifestyle shifts, mindset and being able to, you know, flip a switch in your brain is the biggest obstacle, yes,

Adele Spraggon:

for sure. So the four step technique, well, let's just start with something that potentially some of your clients might or sorry, your your listeners might be facing. So what's something Sarah, that they might be going through that they would like transformation in? I think

Sara Poldmae:

a lot of women would like transformation in their relationship with

Adele Spraggon:

food. Oh, okay, perfect. Yeah. So food, sometimes wine, you know, you talked a little bit about habits. Before we started this, right? Like, how do we break those habits? So oftentimes we get stuck in habitual behaviors that chop us, particularly around eating and drinking. So yeah, let's dive into that. So the first thing that somebody has to know is, I always like to say, think of your brain like an iceberg. So at the top of the water are all of your actions, all of your behaviors, all of your beliefs. And we are going to put conscious and subconscious and even unconscious actions and behaviors up there. The top of the water under the water is where your brain patterning lies, those neural pathways that your brain uses in order to drive a particular action or a particular behavior or a particular belief, and if we are working at the level of action, behavior, believe, to change those habits, then we're using a lot of willpower, right? We're hanging on. We're saying, I'm not gonna eat that cookie tonight. And, you know, and, and oftentimes that works somewhat, okay. I'll even give everybody the benefit of the data works sometimes, but not all the times. Eventually those habits start to come back again, and we fall back into those old patterns. So what do we do instead? Well, instead of that, let's start with knowing that that action, let's say eating that cookie, is given by a pathway in your brain, okay, and the brain has plasticity. So what if we could just tease apart that pattern? Just take that neural pathway, just use the brain's plasticity to just tease it apart, it will snap into new channels. Now, can you see how you would no longer have the desire to eat the cookie if you didn't have a brain pattern that ate cookies? All right?

Sara Poldmae:

Yes. But how do you how do you do that? Right?

Adele Spraggon:

Okay, perfect. So the first thing we have to do is identify it as a pattern. All right. So a pattern is an intertwined physical sensation, emotion and thought. How we know we're running a pattern is when we physically feel something. There's a sensation in the body, there's an emotion, and there's a thought that goes along with it. And this case, I want a cookie. The sensation might be craving. The emotion might be desired. Okay, great. You've just identified a pattern. The second step is to own it as a pattern. We spend way too much time blaming ourselves, way too much time saying I shouldn't do that or should do this. And instead of that, if we can just go, Okay, I've got a pattern in my brain that eats cookies, all right, good. That's ownership. Okay. Nothing's wrong, no blame, no shame. It's just, we're gonna flip that switch. My brain created that pattern, and my brain is the one responsible for it. Okay, so third step, you're going to tease it apart. You're going to deconstruct it. Now, that sounds a little trickier than it actually is. It's a it's a method of observing without any judgment, okay, involves a state of being a surrendered witness, okay? And that's again, that might sound a little tricky. My book explains it and it okay, it's actually pretty easy, okay. And then, and only then, can we create a brand new pattern? We gotta let go of the old pattern first. And we gotta let go of this idea that we need to strive or we need to know where we're heading.

Sara Poldmae:

Okay. And so you mentioned a book. Why don't you tell us a little bit about the book. Expand on everything that the book covers, so that we know.

Adele Spraggon:

Yeah, so the book, it's called shift four steps to personal empowerment. You can get it free on my website. You can download your own copy if you unless you want to hard back coffee. What is your website? Shift four steps, So, S, H, I, F, T, number four steps.com. Great. And you can get a copy of the book there, and you can start reading right away. It covers everything. It covers the four steps. It covers how to do it. It covers a lot of the theory underneath the four steps. So what each step is doing building resilience and empowering you and then allowing you to let it go. And it also has a lot of case studies and a lot of great stories in there to inspire and motivate you. Okay,

Sara Poldmae:

wonderful, amazing. So, you know, it sounds almost too good or too simple to be true, yes. So when you're walking people through these four steps, where are some of the stumbling blocks? Because if it is easy, why aren't we doing it? So walk us through some things that you see people struggling with, and how you work through those issues so that people create success for themselves.

Adele Spraggon:

Yeah, great. We are so educated to believe that we are in control of our actions, that we should be able to control what we think or what how we behave, and frankly, it's just not true. It's a myth. So I like to say you are not responsible for your patterns, actions, behaviors, beliefs, your pattern. Is responsible for that, okay? What you are responsible for, what you are able to respond to, is the pattern itself, okay? So once we understand the brain, and frankly, you know, Sarah, I started doing this 14 years ago, there was very little conversation about neuroplasticity, very, very little, right? We barely knew a lot about the brain at the time. New neural scanners were only just being invented, right, maybe 20 years ago. So all of this conversation is relatively new, and so when you look at somebody's actions, and you look at somebody's behaviors from an objective point of view, from the outside looking in, it would appear that we can control those right? And so we got caught up in that myth of needing to be in control, having to be in control, should be in control, right? And that's really slowing us down. Okay? When we know how the brain functions, it's easy to see. Oh, I'm not in control here. If I was, I wouldn't have a problem. I wouldn't need willpower, right? I would just be able to stop eating. That could be so it's really easy to fall into that myth, but once you know how the brain functions, you go, Oh, of course, okay, I need a different method, and that's the first step in anything. Is that awareness, awareness that what you're doing isn't working right, and why it's not working, it's not you, you're not the problem. So that's a big hurdle that we've got to get over. The second hurdle is this idea of ownership. We're so used to self blame. We're so used to saying there's something wrong with me, right? Yeah, and that that, that idea of just owning it as a pattern, instead of owning it as an identity, as there's something wrong with myself, right? That takes a little bit of time, because the person goes, but, you know, I should be able to do this. And I keep saying, but you don't, you can't the idea of free will, let's debunk it, because it's, just not true. So that's the second step. Once they get over that those two steps, the third thing they have to realize is that everything that the mind does supports the patterns. Have you heard the expression you can't get out of the mind using the mind? Have you heard that expression? Oh, I haven't. I love that expression, because it's so true, we can't get out of the mind using the mind, and that is because every thought that we have becomes more data, more evidence for why that pattern is true, right? So we try and analyze our way out, and we just end up thinking right back in the same old ways of thinking. Yeah. We try to justify our ways out, and we just end up justifying the patterns point of view. So we need to be able to recognize when our mind is in trap and just call it for what it's doing. Okay, that's how I like to say. Just tell the mind, Hey, mind, this is a trap. Let's come back to the body. Let's come back to what's going on now, and let's stop thinking so much. Okay, after that, it's easy. It's free sailing, okay? Once the person is able to do those three things, it's actually, you know, your brain is used to changing patterns all the time, yeah, spontaneously. It is constantly upgrading its relationship to the outside world. Let's just take what happens spontaneously and make it systematic.

Sara Poldmae:

Okay, all right, great. So let's take another example, because I like how you broke down the example of food. Another thing that women struggle with is perhaps boundaries, how to how to enforce boundaries or create boundaries for themselves. So can we use this as women to solidify the ability to say no?

Adele Spraggon:

Absolutely. So I always like to say, Okay, let's set a goal. So if the goal is to say no or to have better boundaries, typically, how we how we achieve that goal is we are taught to ask, okay, how do we get there? All right, so I'd like everybody to just scratch that question off. Instead, ask yourself, Why am I not there right now? Okay, so what? What is standing in my way of setting good boundaries, what step? What's standing in my way of saying No, all right? And that's where you start to get into those individual patterns that your brain has, all right? In my case, saying no cause panic attacks, because I had a pattern for people pleasing, right, where I thought that I was upsetting people, right? Okay? And conflict avoidance. So I had to say yes in order to avoid conflict. So I became aware, oh, yeah, okay, there's all these things that my brain is believing I'll be rejected, I won't be accepted, you know, on and on and on. So I just made a big list of all the things that my brain was saying, and then I just started to remove each. One of those now, once you remove them, you're just naturally setting boundaries. You're not struggling to set boundaries anymore. You've removed everything that's in your way of setting boundaries. So boundaries are just set, okay? And you know that you're using your brain effectively when there is no effort, okay, okay, when there's nothing that you've got to strive or fight against, then you know that you're in the on the right track. And so, yeah, that's what I say. Set the goal, and then ask yourself, Why am I not there now? What's between me and that goal? And start removing it.

Sara Poldmae:

Wonderful. So I think I want you to walk us through that four step program again. Sure with lay terms, so not using any of the terms of like neuroplasticity or anything really break it down very simply, maybe like a sentence or two for each step, because I think I want the women listening to really be able to grasp each step and walk away with an actionable tool that they can use and practice today before they get a chance to read your book.

Adele Spraggon:

Yes, perfect. Okay, so the first thing I want to caution everybody is you want to take each of these steps and you want to use it for a full week before you go on to the next step. Oh, okay,

Sara Poldmae:

good to know. So if we were to look at this as a four step slash four week program, that would be ideal. Okay, wonderful. Yes,

Adele Spraggon:

yes. So once you have your list, so you've done that little list, set the goal. What's between me? So now you have three or four items, okay, stopping you from, in this case, saying no, okay, okay, great. Now you want to just find some quiet space for yourself, and it'll take maybe 510, minutes a day. Okay, sit down in a quiet space. Think about yourself doing that. So let's say, let's take me Okay, so my whole thing was, oh my gosh, I'm going to really upset people if I say no. So I would imagine myself saying no, and then I would drop my awareness into the body, and I'd ask, okay, what am I feeling right now? All right, so what's my emotion? What's my physical sensation, and what one thought is going through my head? Now, be careful with the thinking, right? It'll run you down rabbit holes, right? So try to just get one thought and not allow the mind to keep

Sara Poldmae:

okay. So all right, let's, let's use an example. Then, if it's saying no trying to sit with yourself and think of the idea of disappointing your loved one, and just stick with that particular thought,

Adele Spraggon:

yeah, yeah. So if that's the belief, or if I say no, I'll disappoint my loved one. Okay, then that you can insert as the thought. Now you want to just drop into the body, okay, well, when I think about I've disappointed them, what do I feel? Oh, I feel ashamed. Great. Okay, awesome. Where do you feel that? Oh, well, I feel my stomach clenching. Wonderful. You've just identified a pattern. It is that easy,

Sara Poldmae:

and that's the only thing that we're going to do for this week. So every day we're going to sit and identify what comes up when we want to say no, and just sit with it and see how it feels in your body. And that's it for the week. Like that's what

Adele Spraggon:

I'm going to add one more little thing to the end of this. Okay, so you've identified the three pieces, yes. Now what you want to do is you want to create a space, what I call a space of observation. Okay, so just with detached awareness, you're just going to feel that feeling of shame, or that feeling in your gut, okay, and you're just going to feel it, and just spend about 510, seconds just feeling okay, okay, and then just notice what you observe, all right? So that's step one. So

Sara Poldmae:

yeah, that's that's all you're doing for the first week. So before you go on to the second week you are asking us to just do that first step and sit with it, identify it, feel it in your body, and just just essentially notice and be an observer. Yep. Okay, you go week two. We're on week two. What's so

Adele Spraggon:

week two? Now you're going to flip that switch. Typically, we think, Oh, I'm disappointing my partner, and that has to do with my partner, okay? Or it has to do with me, I'm a bad person for disappointing them. Or they have a problem because they become disappointed. That's typically the way we think of it, yeah, okay. Instead of that, I want you to flip the switch and say, All right, I got a pattern in my brain that feels like I have disappointed them. Okay, so that's ownership, and how you're going to do that is you're going to very gently after you've identified. So even in step two, in week two, you are starting with step one. Okay, you've identified the pattern, right? I'm gonna say I created that

Sara Poldmae:

I own it, and so you're doing ownership. So it's identification is the first step, and then ownership is the second, is the second

Adele Spraggon:

step. Yes, I created the physical sensation, I created the emotion, I created the thought, okay, and now you're gonna add and because I created it, I can let it go however. You're going to find out what you let go of in week three. Okay, okay, so second step is that ownership, and you're going to do that for a week. So now you've added on identifying and now owning,

Sara Poldmae:

okay? And then week three, week three.

Adele Spraggon:

Now here's that space of observation that we've been doing over the two weeks. But this time, we are going to really be aware that we are just the surrendered witness. We're not here to change anything. We're not here to judge anything. We are certainly not here to analyze anything. Okay, we are just going to be just a fly on the minds wall, I like to say,

Sara Poldmae:

and we are, and we are being the witness in that we are witnessing the identification. We're witnessing our ownership of it, and that's all. We're just sitting there and watching the first two steps in process.

Adele Spraggon:

Well, ideally, you're witnessing at the level of body, not at the level of mind, okay, okay. And so witnessing how that feels, okay, how those sensations feel in the body, rather than what the mind says about them. And that can be

Sara Poldmae:

difficult, so that's tricky. How do Yeah, so just being the witness without using our brain is just sitting with it and seeing where it shows up in the body, without trying to analyze it or change it or do anything that's

Adele Spraggon:

right. And that's where catching those traps comes in, right? That's why, if the mind starts analyzing or justifying or catastrophizing, that's another trap. That's when just telling the mind what it's doing is really, really helpful. Okay, it's like we say, okay, mind that's analysis. Let's come on back to just being the surrendered witness. Okay, mind you catastrophizing right now. Let's come back to just being the surrendered witness. So, you know, having that little conversation with the mind, because the mind is scared, frankly, yeah, yeah. Especially if it's got a problem it doesn't know how to solve. So, you know, bringing it down and being that is very empowering. To be able to just label what the mind is doing without judging it. Okay, so all of that, though, like I said, lots more detail in the book, if anybody is interested in this technique, and you'll really learn how to be that surrendered witness, yeah. And then what's step four? Ah. Now here is an interesting step. You see once, once the brain has created a void, I'll call it, in the pattern box so you've removed that pattern that no longer is able to say, no, yeah. Now what we want to do is we want the brain to respond optimally to the situation. Does that make sense? So sometimes it's correct to say no, sometimes it's correct to say yes, sometimes it's correct to just pause and just Yeah, right. But you won't know what's required until you're actually in the situation. So now we really start to play with the brain's plasticity, because what we do is we say, Okay, I'm going to trust that. Come that situation, my brain is going to know what to do. All right. So the fourth step is a step of trust. It's a step of being empowered enough to say, I will respond optimally no matter what. Okay, and the brain has the capacity to do that, and that's what I love about the human brain. And the beautiful thing is, is once we're once, we have that plasticity going, once we know how to play with the brain, the brain will take care of you, and it will take care of everybody around you. Yeah, right, because it, it's absorbing all of that information, the subconscious is much smarter than the conscious mind. It's able to see those flickers of fear in somebody's eyes. It's able to pick up on that expression of shame. Our conscious mind may overlook it, but the subconscious is so attuned, right? And so the subconscious, when it's creating a brand new pattern for the situation. It's able to take all of that into account. Okay? So we have to have the capacity to get out of our way, get out of the brain's way, and allow the brain to create an optimal pattern for what's going on.

Sara Poldmae:

All right, amazing. I love it. I think those are such useful steps, and it involves sitting with yourself, which is one of the My Favorite Things to tell women in midlife to do Adele. Can you just again, give us the name of your book, the name of your website, and anything else you want our audience to know before we sign off? Yeah,

Adele Spraggon:

so the name of my book is shift four steps to personal empowerment, the name of the website. Is shift four steps, and that's the number four. And on that shift four steps, so you can either get a copy of my book or you can book a call with me. So if anybody would like a free call to discuss their patterns and to come up with some lists and things that you can work on, you are very welcome to book a call.

Sara Poldmae:

Wonderful. Thank you so much for have for coming on the show. I've really enjoyed having you. I think that that's such a such an immediate tool that we can use, which I love to offer my listeners of just sitting with, sitting with things. How do they show up in our body? Because our brain and body are not separate, right? And like you said these subconscious messages, we're getting them. It's just whether we're tuning into them or not. So thank you, Adele. I hope you have an amazing day to all my listeners. I hope you are empowered. I hope that you take these tools and use them and create the most beautiful life for yourself. Thank you, sir. You thank you so much for listening to this episode of the midlife rise and thrive podcast. If you are enjoying what you hear each week, be sure to follow the show and leave a rating and review, letting me know what you think I would love to hear from you. See you later. Bye.

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