120. Cougar Puberty, The We Do Not Care Club and Why Menopause Humor Helps Fuel the Conversation

Are you crying over dog food commercials… or impulse-buying your fourth pair of reading glasses? Welcome to the wild ride of Cougar Puberty—yes, it’s a thing, and no, you’re not the only one living it. In this short but laughter-filled episode, we’re talking about the hormonal chaos of perimenopause and menopause… and why comparing it to puberty might just be the most accurate (and hilarious) take out there.

If you’ve ever felt like you’re reliving the emotional roller coaster of your teen years—minus the slumber parties and with a lot more night sweats—this episode will help you feel seen, heard, and not so alone.

In this episode:

• What “Cougar Puberty” actually means—and why it’s more real than you think
• The hormonal roller coaster you’re riding (and how it mirrors your teen years)
• How humor can lighten the heavy parts of perimenopause
• Why we love the “We Do Not Care Club”—and how to join guilt-free
• The delicate balance of not caring about the small stuff while still caring deeply for yourself
• Why finding the right practitioner can make all the difference
• A surprising reason for night sweats (hint: it’s not always hormones!)

Resources Mentioned:

Concierge program: www.meadowhillwellness.com/renewher  

Coaching call link: https://calendly.com/sarapoldmae/midlife-strategy

Connect with me, Dr. Sara Poldmae:

Website: https://risingwomanproject.com

Instagram:  https://www.instagram.com/drsarapoldmae

Transcript

Sara Poldmae: 0:01

Sarah, welcome to menopause. Rise and thrive. I am Dr. Sarah pulled me and this podcast is your go to guide for navigating perimenopause and menopause. If you are feeling a little overwhelmed, trust me, you are in great company. Each week, I'll bring you expert advice, raw, honest conversations and simple tips to help you stay grounded and maybe even find some humor in the process. Let's rise thrive and tackle this wild ride together. Hello ladies, welcome back to menopause. Rise and thrive. I am here to deliver content, not only on health related topics that happen in menopause, but also on the humor of these years. So there is a meme going around right now on social media. Many of you have probably seen it, calling perimenopause, Cougar, puberty. I love it. I love that. I love it, and why do I love it? First of all, it's freaking funny. Second of all, there's some clinical truth to that. So you remember the beginning of your reproductive years, your cycles were really irregular and your moods were unpredictable. And perhaps you have a daughter that's going through the beginning of her reproductive years that's really similar to what we've got going on in perimenopause and menopause, right when our hormones are out of control, cycling up and down, all of that good stuff. You know, we can be it can be a real roller coaster. So when we have these jokes going around about Coover puberty. I think the reason it's so freaking funny is because it it resonates really deeply. You know, there's a part of humor that there's a part of comedy where, you know, we could joke about things that are not really all that funny, but if we joke about them, they can maybe lighten the load or lighten the seriousness of a topic. So whether you are crying at a dog food commercial for no reason, or eating an entire sleeve of Oreos, you know the emotions and the impulse control and all the things that you felt as a teenager, you might be feeling some of that in perimenopause. So it's almost the same playbook right there. We might not be having slumber parties. We might be having night sweats instead, but clinically, it's just not all that different. At the start, when we first start going through getting our periods, the ovaries are kind of warming up, and at the end they're winding down. So both stages come with huge hormonal roller coasters, estrogen surges, progesterone dips, sleep gone crazy, moods that are wild, and that's why, you know, puberty sometimes really sucks, and so does perimenopause. So you know, I think making light of the situation can be super helpful. And I think there's people out there that get a little bothered by it, because we acknowledge that women's health is is also super serious, and I am here to hold both of those as true simultaneously. So I think we need to both take it seriously and be able to laugh a little bit, but most importantly, find a practitioner that can take it seriously with you and maybe share in laughter if that's your style, that's if that's what you want, you know who you want, walking you through this time of life. So another thing that I love that's been going around on social media. I'm sure that you've seen this one. This is the group that I think we should all join, which is the do not care club. So there's this woman on Instagram, I think she's on Tiktok and probably Facebook as well, but she has the we not we do not care Club, where she puts the world on notice. All of the members of the we do not care club are putting the world on notice that we simply do not care. By the time we are in midlife, we've earned our stripes, right? We have survived the child rearing years, or at least the early child rearing years. We have gone through work deadlines, we have had our fair share of disappointments, and we we don't care. We realize that the trivial things that we may have cared about in our 30s or certainly in our teenage years, we don't care about them anymore. We're less consumed with how we look whether we wore the right outfit, or whether our house looks Pinterest worthy, all of those things just start to lose their grip, like we're not as enthralled by them. And I love that concept, but I also feel the need to challenge it, because true power. Comes when we give ourselves and each other permission to care when we want to and to not care when we don't. So while it's okay to not give a crap about how you look when you leave the house, whether you're wearing three pairs of reading glasses or, you know, or leaving your house to go to the food store in pajamas, that's fine, but it's also fine. If you do get Botox, it's also fine if you care deeply about how your body looks in leggings. I mean, here's the thing, it's so easy for us to judge ourselves. It's so easy for us to judge other women, but it's also something to be poked fun at. So I love the we do not care club, but I want to make sure that that doesn't lead us to judging other women if they do care about things that we may not care about. I think that the we do not care club comes with a ton of perks, right? We can say no without any guilt. We can also say yes without guilt. We can be fashionable or throw caution to the wind and just wear our PJs to target. We can laugh when our hormones cause us to go into a fit of tears or a rage of giggles. But here's the kicker, just because we don't care about the petty stuff, or if we do care about the petty stuff, it doesn't mean we don't care about ourselves. This is the moment to care deeply about our health, about our joy, about how we're living our day to day lives, our sleep, our hormones, our gut health, we need to take it seriously and not take it seriously at the same time. So that's part of the reason that my nurse practitioner, monick, and I started our concierge clinic in Maryland, and it's part of a big part of my coaching work with women in midlife all over this country. I take you seriously, I listen deeply, and I can also laugh with you, because we deserve it all and sometimes a sudden, night sweat may just be hormones, but sometimes it's not. So you need someone that can look deeply into your clinical picture and make sure that we're taking care of the issues the root cause of the issues. I've had women clinic that come in and you know, they can be 38 years old and be convinced that they're in perimenopause, and that is certainly possible. It's within the realm of reason, but sudden night sweats out of the blue, where you're soaking through your pajamas and your sheets and all of that, there's a really common tick borne infection called Babesia that can cause that kind of clinical picture. So we need a practitioner that doesn't just shrug things off, but also knows how to look at the whole picture, right? And sometimes I find that when women come in and they're laughing about their symptoms, sometimes within that laughter, I get some really juicy information that I can use clinically. So I guess this little episode I decided to pop on real quick. It's not a super long episode. I won't keep you with my thoughts about Cougar puberty or the we do not care club. But I do want to acknowledge that cougar puberty is real. It's a real thing, right? The hormonal roller coaster that we go through to start our period is very similar to the one where we end our period and the we do not care club is open. There are plenty of memberships to go around. And I just love that for us. I love that for this time of our lives, midlife is not something to survive, it's something to really acknowledge as as an honor, right? Not everybody is lucky enough to get to this stage of life, and yeah, some of the symptoms can really, really suck, but there are answers out there. Now more than ever, the conversation is open. So if you come to our concierge program, or if you find a practitioner that's willing to spend some time with you and really uncover everything that's going on, whether it be gut health, Hormonal Health, something going on, mind, body, spirit, this is this is our time, right? This is our second spring. It's such a beautiful chapter, and I know for myself, I have been laughing more lately than I can remember in the recent history. I have more space. I've allowed myself more space for laughter. I just bought my dog the cutest little jean jacket and this little beach hat that are like the cutest things in the world. And I swear I was only I was almost peeing myself laughing the other night, and it was just such pure unadulterated joy. And I really want to find that for you if you're not experiencing that. So I think we give social media a hard time. Sometimes, and it's easy to get offended sometimes, because this is a serious time of life, but it's also freaking funny, right? So let's learn to laugh at ourselves. Let's find people that can hold our hand through this journey, and let's make it the best next chapter. So I know quick episode, short and sweet, but I wanted to just pop on and acknowledge that I am a proud member of the we do not care club. There are chapters right near you, and I think you should join, because we really don't need to care. We can give zero fucks if we want, until next time. Have a beautiful week and find something that helps you to laugh just a little. It's the best medicine you

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