121. The Truth About Midlife, Hormones & Reclaiming Your Power

Ever feel like you’re losing yourself somewhere between hot flashes, brain fog, and trying to remember where you left your coffee (again)? You’re not alone—and this conversation is for you.

In this very special episode, Sara takes the guest seat as she’s interviewed on a local Annapolis-based podcast. What unfolds is a lively, honest, and often hilarious conversation about the very real experiences of women in perimenopause and menopause. From heart palpitations to sleep struggles to relationship shifts, nothing is off the table—and you’ll walk away feeling seen, supported, and maybe even a little more empowered.

This is Sara unfiltered, and it just might be the most fun episode yet.

In this episode:

•  Why midlife often starts with “I just don’t give a f*ck” (and why that’s not a bad thing)
• The real reason behind heart palpitations and anxiety in perimenopause
• Debunking the myth that “everyone needs hormones” during menopause
• Why sleep issues are often the first red flag (and what to do about it)
• How brain fog affects your confidence—and what helps bring it back
• What Sara’s concierge program looks like from the inside
• The emotional truth about changing your lifestyle—and why it can get messy before it gets beautiful
• Plus: sex drive, wine habits, journaling breakthroughs, and why orange might be your midlife power color

Resources Mentioned:

Kelly Bell is the founder of The Bell House Catering, a boutique catering company in Annapolis, Maryland, known for fresh, seasonal menus and warm, welcoming service. Whether she’s crafting an intimate dinner party or a lively community event, Kelly brings heart, humor, and flavor to everything she touches.

Gretchen Moran is the creator of The Culinary Square, a dynamic culinary space and teaching kitchen in Annapolis focused on hands-on cooking classes, community-building events, and empowering people through food. Gretchen’s passion lies in connection—bringing people together around good food and great conversations.

Connect with me, Dr. Sara Poldmae:

Website: https://risingwomanproject.com

Instagram:  https://www.instagram.com/drsarapoldmae

Transcript

Sara Poldmae: 0:01

Sarah, welcome to menopause. Rise and thrive. I am Dr. Sarah pulled me and this podcast is your go to guide for navigating perimenopause and menopause. If you are feeling a little overwhelmed, trust me, you are in great company. Each week, I'll bring you expert advice, raw, honest conversations and simple tips to help you stay grounded and maybe even find some humor in the process. Let's rise, thrive and tackle this wild ride together. Hey everybody, today's episode is super fun. I am actually sharing an episode of somebody else's podcast that I was a guest on. So Kelly is a personal chef in the town where I'm from, or where I'm actually not from here, but where I live, Annapolis, Maryland. And Kelly and her partner in crime, Gretchen, have created a show for people in Annapolis, but this show was so fun and so full of good content that I had to share it with you. I just loved recording it, and they just launched it, I think about a week before we are releasing it, it's super fun. I hope you love it, because it was probably the most fun I have ever had recording a podcast, whether it's mine or someone else's. Enjoy.

Unknown: 1:26

Okay, so we now have a very special guest, and her name is Dr Sarah, pulled me welcome. Dr Sarah, so tell me what you do. Dr Sarah, let's, let's tell the people of Annapolis what it is that you do. Well.

Sara Poldmae: 1:40

Thank you first for having me on the show. I'm very excited to be a part of your new passion project, and I'm all about supporting other women. So what I do is I basically help women going through perimenopause and menopause. I have a concierge medicine program where we take women through all of their choices and all of the testing that they may need to get to the root of whatever problems they may be having during the midlife transition. And it's super fulfilling. We spend a ton of time with women, really, you know, diving into all aspects. Because, as you know, hormones play a big role. But there's so much more than that. There is the how the sudden did I stop giving an F?

Unknown: 2:26

We Sarah, you can use the language. We have it on explicit. Oh, okay,

Sara Poldmae: 2:30

perfect. It's like, all of a sudden, you sit there, and you're like, I just don't give a fuck. And there's this big viral, we do not care club that's out there, and it's hilarious, but I waffle between the fact that we don't care about certain things, but we do care deeply about other things. And yeah, I think I might do that on my podcast. I have a podcast, menopause, rise and thrive, and I think I want to address that, because we can, we can care about certain things and we cannot care about other things, and that's our prerogative. And I don't care if you agree with me or

Unknown: 3:03

not. Look and I but I think even I don't think anybody in this going through this like I'm 47 and there have been, there have been moments, yeah, and I don't think I could necessarily want, I don't know if I want to disagree with you. I want to be like, Give me all this information, because I need to know what's happening. You know what? The worst thing was that I found out at the time of giving birth that I'm like, Why did anybody talk about this? Is when they after you're done and they're pressing on your stomach to get the Why didn't anybody tell anybody about that? Why is there not more so much? We're not told there's so much. Kelly, we're not told that was worse than childbirth. I was like, this is miserable. Can you stop? Like

Sara Poldmae: 3:41

and so, yeah, that's why we started this program. Is because even though there is more conversation going on for women in midlife, there hasn't been for so long, and now that we have the conversation going on, every single woman thinks they need hormones, they need estrogen, they need testosterone, they need progesterone. And a lot of women are getting their information from social media, and the pendulum has swung from nobody should take hormones to everybody should take hormones. And really the true answer is somewhere in the middle. It should really be informed. It should be an intentional decision. So I'm just super passionate about supporting women in any way that we can, and giving the women the access that they need before they need it. So during childbirth, you should have known that beforehand.

Unknown: 4:26

Yeah, dr, Sarah, I'm going to call you an angel, because for the this is such a strange time to actually address something so important. Because there was a time, maybe 1020, years ago, where we would start to address a problem, and there was this trickle of information, and it could be, it could be codified, but in our world today, where there's just a blast of noise, I can imagine you go from knowing nothing to being overwhelmed with I am confused, because what's true and what's good for me and why? Is it helping her and not me? And so I just think the work you're doing is God's work. It really changes the game, because for so long, I think we're a little bit gaslight as women, that, you know, we fall back to somehow, that we're broken because, you know, we have these, these emotional shifts with the hormones that changes. We get older, we are shamed for our bodies changing. I mean, I the gamut that it runs without information, and the power that you gain when you realize that this is a natural process, and everybody's getting it.

Sara Poldmae: 5:36

If you're lucky to live that long, right? It's so, I remind the women that come into clinic, yes, I know you're struggling, and our first order of business is to obviously get you out of whatever pain or discomfort you're experiencing, whether it be physical, mental, what have you. But you know, we're lucky to be here talking today in this room. We have to acknowledge that not every woman gets the chance to go through this time of their life. Absolutely, and we get the chance to sit back and say, Okay, some of these emotions might be hormonal, but some of them are the fact that our needs have not been served. We have been so busy caring for everybody else around us that this is a time for reflection. This is our second spring. This is the time when we get to I love that. I want, you know, and actually go for it, because in Chinese medicine, we talk about the Maiden and the Crone. And so this is our our transition into the time where we get to be nurtured, whether we're nurturing ourselves or finding the people to support us and be around us. Our friendships can change. Can I just start every day with you? Yes, absolutely. Girl. I should start a morning mantra club or science I love Yeah, because I need to start other things. Yeah, that's what I need. My problem is, I take on too much, but we're here to educate, not to talk about my problems.

Unknown: 6:49

I think we're all sitting here right now thinking, what are we doing with all these projects? But I need to know, what is it that drew you into this? Because you're not, it's not like you're you're kind of going through it yourself. So what got you to this point from where you were to now? Well,

Sara Poldmae: 7:05

I first got into the acupuncture side of medicine because of horrible migraines, which, funny enough, were hormonally related, because I was going through puberty when they started. So I've always had an interest in women's health and hormones, and so that's what I've practiced for the past 20 something years. But about five years ago, actually, it's six years ago now, I had just gotten married and ended up with terrible cardiac issues where my heart was racing to 175 beats per minute at rest, and it was really frightening. And I knew from textbooks that you could have you know, changes in your heart rhythms, palpitations, all of that going through midlife. I knew it from a book sense. I'd helped women through it from a doctor's standpoint, but to experience it myself with how, um, scary and frightening it was going to the cardiologist getting all sorts of tests run, thinking I was basically dying, only be told it was either hormones or anxiety. I was like, Okay, I need to specialize in this and really dig deep, because, after all, we've given to everybody else, we deserve more answers, and we deserve not to have the shit scared out of us from something that, again, is normal. And one of the biggest things that really helped me was committing back to my mind body practices, because the medications weren't going to help me long term. They could get me out of a scary, dangerous situation, so they could regulate my heart rate. But I did not want to stay on those medications for my life, so I went back to my original roots, which was mind body medicine and yoga, and that's what pulled me out of it. And so it just further committed me towards this particular age group of women and women going through this particular transition,

Unknown: 8:48

which I think is interesting that you do the to me that totally embodies the midlife isn't something we have to survive. It needs to be something we change like and mindfully get out of our funk and see how we can do it and talk to people like you. It doesn't sound like you had the best experience in terms of helping your situation. You almost pulled yourself out of it and decided that this is the direction I'm gonna go to help other people.

Sara Poldmae: 9:17

To be fair, I went to an amazing cardiologist that gave me amazing care within their framework, I did feel very held and taken care of for the things I needed that particular moment, but it wasn't a long term game plan. And I think that's where our medicine, functional medicine shines is we can develop a long term game plan, teaching women how to take care of themselves if you are in a crisis situation like I was, I want you to go to the cardiologist, but come back to me once you're safe and we can figure out how to unwind some of that and give you a long term plan so that you can maintain your cardiovascular health without the use of medications, drugs, surgery, Big

Unknown: 9:59

Pharma. Yeah. So if you could debunk one of the biggest myths about menopause or midlife health, what would that be,

Sara Poldmae: 10:06

that it's only just hormones? Yeah. So I think women are looking for a quick fix because they're desperate. I think we get into situations where we're so very uncomfortable that we need something now because we are busy juggling all the things we're managing households. We have a full time job. Often, we have lots of kids. Our kids maybe have just left the nest now. We're taking care of our aging parents like there's just too much on our plates, and we're not always great at saying no. So I think just popping an estrogen pill, or, you know, taking an estrogen patch, or taking progesterone, all of those things can mitigate some symptoms, but I think there's a myth going around that everybody needs hormones and it's going to be life changing, and it can be life changing, but there's still other lessons to be learned that we should be grateful to have The opportunity to do so, because all of these symptoms are just a message that we need to be taking care

Unknown: 11:04

of ourselves. Yeah. Dr Sarah, when you start your morning mantra practice, we're going to envelope into that the need for lifestyle change and embracing that not as something that's difficult and hard to do, but something that we can celebrate together as a community. And I think that not only changes our health, but it changes the health of our husbands, our partners, our children, our community. And that's a whole nother podcast, isn't it? Yeah,

Sara Poldmae: 11:35

it really, it really is. I mean, I think they, you know, they have the joke, if the wife isn't happy. Nobody is happy. Well, I think that can translate into any aspect. Whether you're married or not married, you are going to serve the world and be able to access your higher callings so much better if you're feeling good, if you're nourishing yourself, if you're getting the morning sunlight, all that good stuff.

Unknown: 11:57

Yeah. So I have my own narrative on this, but I'm not. I'm going to save it until you answer my question, because I could be unique. But there, there's probably the one symptom or health challenge that comes up first for women that really is an indicator that you're hitting this new journey. And it's the scary what's the one you see the most?

Sara Poldmae: 12:17

So I would say the earliest symptom, from a clinical standpoint, it's definitely sleep, because when your progesterone levels drop, which is the first thing to drop in midlife, it's usually in your mid to late 30s, and the sleep issues can really hit you at that point. The problem is, as the we're so used to go, go, go, that we say, Yeah, I sleep like crap, and then I just start drinking more coffee. And you just, you know, try and keep up the game, because life is carrying you along, and there's still just as many tasks on the to do list, et cetera, et cetera. And then we get into a stage of burnout. So it's sleep first and then hitting that wall. And for some women, it takes two or three years. For some women, it's a seven year cycle where they start sleeping like crap, and they can maintain relatively for seven years, and then they just feel like they're falling apart.

Unknown: 13:06

So you absolutely hit my narrative. And I have to say that that for me, it was this, I felt like there was this loss of cognitive talent, and I didn't want to blame the fact that I wasn't sleeping, but all of a sudden I felt like I wasn't as capable. So the confidence hit for me was a whole journey, and yeah, and it roots itself in this poor sleeping and I because you're

Sara Poldmae: 13:34

not performing. So some of the confidence is because you're doubting yourself, because you're sleep deprived, but some of the confidence is because you're not at the level that you're normally at.

Unknown: 13:44

Well, and again, those those lies that we're told that just as you age, brain fog is just a natural thing and you're going to be dumber than you used to be and just embrace that's not true. Good.

Sara Poldmae: 13:55

So yeah, comes after storage. So right? What comes back to hormones aren't the only answer. They can be a huge part and a big tool in all of this, but you can't blame your brain fog just on the lack of estrogen. Yes, there's a connection there, a very strong one, but if you're also sleeping like crap, that's a big part of it, like we cannot perform without proper

Unknown: 14:17

sleep well, and don't touch my wine. My four glasses of wine before bed are not part of the problem. Dr Sarah, don't go there. Girl,

Sara Poldmae: 14:24

you know, we were so scared of hormone replacement therapy for so many years, and the the risk for it was like point zero, 3% up. But each glass of wine increases your risk of breast cancer by I don't even know you're out to go there. I told you not to go. I'm sorry. Like I am not. I am from New Jersey. I don't have a choice in the matter. I'm not gonna you know, so love that four glasses of wine a week is too much for women, let alone four glasses at night. And I can tell you

Unknown: 14:57

onto the next choice. It's a.

Sara Poldmae: 15:00

Choice, and I am not so much. Never

Unknown: 15:02

have cheering. I appreciate that you're gonna make me stand at that line.

Sara Poldmae: 15:06

Well, that's okay, like I, you know, I'm not someone that's, that's that abstains from alcohol completely, but my relationship with alcohol had to change when

Unknown: 15:14

I warned it's informed that's a good place to be. Yeah, and I don't drink four glasses every night. I'm so glad for you. So I let's get to a little bit about what the experience is like working with you. Dr, Sarah, so can you walk us through sort of what what is, how does the conversation start, and what is my first visit with you look

Sara Poldmae: 15:34

like, right? So we actually are a concierge program, which means that you are a part of a membership when you work with us. So what that means is that you work with us yearly. You come into the clinic for an initial consult, and it's probably the longest health history you've ever done in doctor's office. It's usually a solid hour where we go through everything from, you know, risk factors, if you were to choose HRT, you know, all of you know, the regular health history stuff, but then so much more the connections with functional medicine and Chinese medicine that Western medicine doesn't acknowledge. We really go through the gamut. And you know, a lot of times it can be emotional, because then women start to make the connections that maybe they've made before, but haven't actually said out loud that happens at almost every visit, a woman will have an epiphany like, wow, I never said that out loud before. I've had that thought in the back of my head, and that can be really moving. And I really hold those sessions as so special. And then we send for labs. Go through the traditional lab, Core Labs first, because they're most affordable, and we can see baseline like, is your cholesterol out of whack? Are your hormones crazy? You know, is your thyroid optimized? And we're really looking not only at whether the levels are acceptable, the way Western medicine looks at them, but are they optimal. So for instance, vitamin D at 30 is considered an acceptable range. We want to see your vitamin D at least at 60. So a Western medical physician may not flag you at 30. They might be like, Oh, your vitamin D is a little low. Take some vitamin D if you if you feel like you need it at 30, we consider that not optimal. And there's so many different bodily processes that depend on optimal levels of vitamin D. So we look at things a little bit from a different lens. We get the labs ordered, then you would meet with the nurse practitioner to discuss hormone replacement therapy, if that's something that you want to utilize as part of your treatment plan. We also, you know, can manage your thyroid medications, but we also lean very heavily on lifestyle, diet and you know, I'll send an information sheet with things on regulating your circadian rhythm to one of my patients, and I say there's like 17 action items on here, I want you to pick one or two, because I don't want to be causing more stress in your life. We're going to pick the low hanging fruit that are easy for you to tackle and start there and see if we can start shifting.

Unknown: 17:57

So that's all very interesting and very in depth. And I like the idea, I almost feel like I was in the doctor's appointment with you right now, and saying, okay, so I almost feel better about myself. Like, wow, I haven't even gone to see her. And I feel better about myself because I like the epiphany. Go back to the Epiphany thing would you say? Could you say that that's like, something that women should probably really do daily is kind of maybe saying more things out loud, like to themselves in the mirror to kind of maybe help make a difference in their midlife like, yeah, 100%

Sara Poldmae: 18:28

and there's lots of different ways to do that. You can say things out loud, you can journal. You can just take some intentional time to say, How was my day today? Did I get carried along by life's duties, roles, responsibilities, or did I take time for myself? You know, this is not a dress rehearsal.

Unknown: 18:45

Well, I don't want to. There is no pitch here that we're getting paid for, but I have a six minute journal that I love. I've struggled to journal my whole life because I moved too fast. Wouldn't want to talk about that either. Dr, Sarah, but this six minute journal is prompted questions that give me a moment to sit and say, first, you start in the beginning. You journal three minutes in the morning, how am I going to make this day great? And then you journal three minutes at night, and you say, what? And even if it was awful, like, what one good thing can I can I find in this day? And we can always find one good thing, and

Sara Poldmae: 19:21

if it was awful, what was awful about it? And how do we have the power to change that?

Unknown: 19:26

The journaling thing I you know, I comes back to my high school. I had a professor, not a professor, it was a teacher in my senior in high school. He was a psychology professor. This is why I'm so into psychology and the idea of psychology. And one of the things we had to do is we had to write a journal. He didn't read them, but we had to show him, like the each week, like the three or four, you know, I had books. I had literal books of the journaling. And I'll tell you like it was for someone, for a senior in high school, that it was very powerful for me. So I almost kind of like, maybe I should go back to journaling as an adult, which. You just brought that in here, like I could probably use that and see if I can refocus my brain.

Sara Poldmae: 20:05

So I think especially with how fast everything is, you're not alone. We're all fast these days, right? We get fed our information when we want it. If we're in line at the store, we're looking at our phone, we are really taking in so much, but putting out very little. So by putting stuff on paper or saying it out loud, it it gives you something to digest and be more intentional about how, how you're living your lives. And I think that that's part of true wellness.

Unknown: 20:31

I wish we had one of those producers that could look things up for me on the fly. So another plug here is a book called strength to strength, and it talks about us going from our our sort of cognitive talent as young people, to a crystallized talent as age and so we become more strategic. This is our goal. This is what we need to work toward. As as we get older, we get more strategic. So that whole busy hamster wheel doesn't serve you. When you're in strategic mode, you slow down, you look at the bigger picture, and then you pick priorities, right? And this book changed my life in terms of embracing what you're talking about. Dr Sarah, the the culture says we have to stay on that hamster wheel, but we can challenge that. Yeah, and when we do and we begin to feel better in our bodies. It's a, it's it's a, it's a flywheel. Fact, right? It reinforces us doing that more strategic sort of lifestyle where we prioritize and make better

Sara Poldmae: 21:31

choices. Yeah, 100% and that sounds very Pollyanna. I just want to give the the bad news bears here,

Unknown: 21:40

when you start making these shifts, when you become more intentional, things can really fall apart around you. And there will be people in your life that will reject the changes that you're making. There will be friendships that may fall apart or change in a way that becomes uncomfortable. I am so glad you're bringing this up. Yes, I think that that's the thing. Sometimes I feel like I talk like, oh mindfulness and oh journaling, and it's all gonna be beautiful. No, I mean, sometimes it's really messy, but there's a beauty on the other side of it when you change, yes, 100% don't miss that the people around you have been working a system that works when you're working exactly the way they want you, and it's not that they don't love you. They can count on the familiar you. Yeah. So when the familiar, oh, my husband went through this, when the familiar Gretchen went away, and I started telling him that I am not eating another chicken breast. I don't care how many times you cook it, he's like, what's happening right now, right? And so it isn't an adaptation, especially for those closest to you. And you can talk to them about it and say, this is intentional, and this is so I'm a better wife, I'm a better mom, I'm a better friend, because I was taking his head off regularly, and I didn't know why I was so angry all the time, but it was this feeling of being just unable to change because I had to be the familiar that everyone was comfortable

Sara Poldmae: 23:00

with. So it can be really messy. It can get ugly for a while, and sometimes, you know, divorce happens, sometimes friendships fall apart, and you have to be on some level okay with that in order to take the leap into your next authentic self. It doesn't mean that the phase before wasn't truly authentic. That's where you were. Every day, you are your authentic self. The difference is, maybe you're speaking it out loud or being more comfortable with who you are.

Unknown: 23:25

Well, you should also not be afraid to be unstuck. And I think we get into a situation in which people you know that what you need to do is to change, but you're afraid to do it. You don't have the confidence to do it, because you think that these people are going to leave you, yeah, or whatever. And you know what, you have to kind of be okay with that. I mean, I that is one thing that I think the whole I don't give a fuck, it's like, you know what, if you can't be a part of this, I'm not going to stop you. I can't stop you. I finally found my rhythm. I have finally found who I want to be, how I want to be in my and if you can't ride this ride with me, there's the door, but there's a lot of people who get stuck and don't know how to get unstuck. It is scary. So I kind of want Gretchen to let's, let's take it off the doom and gloom. Let's do a little, yeah, do something else. Let's do it all right, let's get it. Let's get into a little bit of fun here. So

Sara Poldmae: 24:19

I'm ready. I'm a little nervous. I don't

Unknown: 24:21

feel prepared. Whatever, whatever you feel, you can share patient confidentiality All right up front, tell us something funny or surprising, the funniest or most surprising thing a patient has come to you with and said to you about

Sara Poldmae: 24:35

their symptoms. I'm not sure that I have one of those, but I can say that a lot of women come in with low sex drive and not funny. It is kind of, it's not funny, and I'm sorry, but there is a thing about, you know, monogamy and being with someone for 20 years, and so again, we're playing it all on hormones. I'm like, if there was a really sexy 32 year old Italian man in front of you, you know, really. Giving you a time, would you feel like you could conjure up a little bit of a sex drive? And every woman, like, basically busts out laughing,

Unknown: 25:09

and they're like, Yeah,

Sara Poldmae: 25:13

I'm like, I'm sorry, but you're in a roommate marriage, you know? Like, let's identify the real problem, not blame it just on a lack of estrogen and progesterone and testosterone. Everybody wants testosterone these days because they think they're gonna like, fuck, like bunnies. And I'm like, Yeah, but you still have the same husband. He's getting old. You're getting old, I mean,

Unknown: 25:33

and I mean, there's help for that too. There's absolutely nothing wrong with a good romance novel before, right before you go to bed at night, just to get the juice. Yeah, yeah. Again.

Sara Poldmae: 25:42

Like, there's all sorts of solutions, but I think we we get this doom and gloom mentality that's all downhill from here. And I mean, sex life, I'm never gonna have a sex drive again. Blah, blah, blah. And, like, that's not true.

Unknown: 25:53

Oh, what was the name? What was the name of the series that everyone was crazy the shades of gray, it revived my whole entire sex life. I'm just gonna be honest right now, two chapters and Doug was a happy man. My favorite was being at the beach and watching all the women reading the book. And I'm like, I know what you read it. Why are you doing this at Dublin? Right? Exactly, naughty, naughty girl. Because we can. So this is a good one. I have this picture in my head because I had the question teed up. But so if brain fog was a mascot, what would it look like?

Sara Poldmae: 26:30

Oh, my God, I don't know what a mascot would look like. I mean, I can describe it. You walk into a room, you don't know why you're there, you can't find words. I mean, brain fog is a real thing, but I can't think of a mascot. So I do,

Unknown: 26:44

I know, and this will probably say a lot about me. I'm picturing pig pen from Peanuts, just that, that cloud of like, mess around you all the time that makes it impossible for you to see what's in front of you. I feel like it's that little boy.

Sara Poldmae: 26:59

For some reason, I think of Kramer from Seinfeld.

Unknown: 27:03

No idea what I'm doing, yes. Oh my God, that's gonna be the my new name having a creamer moment. There you go.

Sara Poldmae: 27:15

I miss really, really funny shows like that

Unknown: 27:18

I do too. What happened to the Thursday night lineup and the Friday night family stuff, I know said stuff. So a couple was it a couple months ago, or was it a year? How long has it been? We did a you did a retreat at your house.

Sara Poldmae: 27:31

Oh, that was in September of last year. It was a year ago. Good,

Unknown: 27:35

gracious, it's gone quickly. So me and Gretchen actually did a little short cooking class for Dr. Sarah pulled me and her and her retreat that they did, and I'll let her go into the retreat and all that kind of stuff. And what exactly it was. It was a great time. These women were super fabulous. We came in and it looked like a bunch of cats laying around, like, like, it's like, just stretching out and sort of laying around, and it was very fun. It was very relaxing, even just to come into that. But what inspired you to host these retreats and these yoga classes to get you to connect with and have it connect to your clinical work?

Sara Poldmae: 28:13

Well, I think the cardiac issues I was talking about before and really made me come back home to that mind body medicine was a big inspiration. Right after covid in 2021 I took my daughter to Panama for a yoga retreat, and it was just so beautiful witnessing her as a 617, year old girl, she was on a bus down to the retreat center. Was a six hour bus ride, and there were 22 adults with us, and it was the first time my teenage daughter had been around a group of people that were adults that didn't have a content so we didn't know any of the adults. They weren't her coaches, they weren't her aunts and uncles. And she said to me on the retreat, Wow, mom, adults are actually kind of cool. And I was like, Yeah, but you know what? You've you've been on like, party busses to football games, and you've never said that. And she goes, yeah, there's something about this particular type of person that would be on a yoga retreat. They're just so open, and they treat me like a person, not as a kid. And I was like, Wow, what a beautiful thing my daughter and I got to experience together. And so I really started looking at the mother daughter relationship through a different lens of of I've always modeled for her in my work ethic and in, you know, my Buddhist philosophy, all of that. But it's like it's really would be nice to bring women together to support other women, because then, essentially, we can support our daughters better, like it always comes down to that for me, like, what? What am I leaving for this world, not in a financial sense. I actually never think about that. It probably should at some point, but more about what am I leaving in this world? What? How can I restore myself like we were talking earlier, to to offer more. To this world. And so the retreats really came from that. And I do retreats often with my girlfriend, Trish, who is a breath work facilitator, and she is an amazing, beautiful woman. We've had quite a few retreats together. And one thing that we're really trying to bring to the table is when we have retreats where there's a lot of like, multi generational like moms and daughters. It's just such a beautiful way to learn from other women in different generations, and it goes both ways, like there's a lot to learn from the 20 year olds, and there's a lot for the 20 year olds to learn from the 40 year olds the 60 year olds. So really trying to cultivate that concept, because I think in community, we can go through this in a way that's a bit more secure because of the scary parts of it, like my body's failing, my brain's failing. I'm gonna make these changes, and people aren't gonna love me anymore. I think going through that alone is a completely different experience than going through it and having women holding space for

Unknown: 30:58

each other. I think what you just talked about is planning this the trees that you'll never sit in the shade of, right? And it, and that goes back to, by the way, the strength to strength was written by Arthur C Brooks. And that is that crystallized, strategic thinking that I think, does you know? We're always, I said this in the last podcast. I think, too, we're always being watched. You are a representative of something every day, and I think as we get older, we get to be a little more a little more refined in how we set an example. So I really appreciate that that is such a wonderful goal for you. I'm going to challenge you to think about young men in that same way, I believe that there's a crisis around young men today where and part of the journey for us as women heading through menopause and perimenopause is men don't have a narrative for how to interact with us during this phase of life. So let's bring them along on the journey. And while the current culture may be resistant to it, we can. We can be drops in the bucket. And I know with my son, I've tried really hard to help him understand and honestly, he's the only one who can manage me in a in a moment where I'm not my best self. My son is my, my, my anchor and and I, I credit his father. I've got wonderful, strong, sensitive men in my life, but I think they're, they're relatively unique.

Sara Poldmae: 32:32

So I definitely think about that. But I do think that we have our places to serve, and mine is with women. And I do think by helping women to become their more authentic selves, they will bring the men along on the rise. I sure hope so. But there doesn't have to be a coach in Annapolis that I would love to share in the show notes. Brett riviero, I'm not sure that I'm saying his name, but I will get you the information, because he works exclusively with men. Oh, I love that. Yeah, let's get his so we'll make sure to share his contact details in the show notes, because he has a beautiful program really addressing all of those aspects for the male. Yeah, I think. And he'd be a great guest to have on the show as a parallel to the conversation we are having. And I would love to on my podcast at some point, talk to men, maybe a series of men, about their experience going through the perimenopausal and menopausal years with women. So this is a call out to all of the men around if anybody wants to be on a podcast and tell us what it's like for you to be on the receiving end of

Unknown: 33:39

hours that hour, hour rebirth. Well, I would love that I could do this all day long. Dr, Sarah, it's just so fascinating to talk to you. And this, this subject goes so deep and is is so worthy of the time. But we do, we do want to wrap this one up. I know Kelly's got a a lightning round waiting for you. Are you ready for a lightning round? Ready as I'm going to be quick and simple, yes, I asked the question, how many words can I use? As many as you want, but it's got to be immediate response. Okay, okay. So ready? Okay, okay, ready? Coffee or tea? Coffee, morning person or night owl, both interesting, favorite acupuncture point and why?

Sara Poldmae: 34:20

Yin Tong, it's in between your eyebrows, and it just regulates the central nervous system. Does it also get rid of those lines? We have a micro needling event coming up. I want that in the show notes as well. Okay, very good.

Unknown: 34:33

One supplement, you'll never give up creatine. Oh, one supplement that's totally overrated.

Sara Poldmae: 34:39

They all can be a further for the wrong person,

Unknown: 34:43

yoga mat or hiking boots, both. First thing you do when brain fog hits.

Sara Poldmae: 34:49

I usually take some mushrooms, not the psilocybin kind

Unknown: 34:55

like, like you saute up them up for your breakfast.

Sara Poldmae: 34:59

No, I usually. They have tinctures because you get enough of the active ingredients, gotcha, gotcha.

Unknown: 35:05

If midlife had a theme color, what would it be? Orange? Orange?

Sara Poldmae: 35:09

Why it's my favorite

Unknown: 35:11

color? Three words, just it's like

Sara Poldmae: 35:15

it represents openness and and change and con, you know, constant change. Oh, I

Unknown: 35:20

love that. It's a positive spin on that. I love that because I was thinking like Gretchen, like the bright neon yellow, like, watch out that too. I'm in your way. Three words describe how you would want women to feel after working with you,

Sara Poldmae: 35:34

empowered, energized and at peace. Oh,

Unknown: 35:38

lovely. What's your go to feel amazing meal,

Sara Poldmae: 35:42

oh gosh, lightly steamed vegetables, salmon, wild salmon, of course, and a sweet potato.

Unknown: 35:51

All healthy. One thing you wish every woman over 40 knew their power. Oh yes, yes. Okay, that was a raw, funniest nickname you've heard for menopause,

Sara Poldmae: 36:09

oh, for perimenopause. It's, uh, what is it? It's Cougar something.

Unknown: 36:14

Oh, I saw Yeah, Cougar puberty. Cougar puberty. Cougar puberty. So funny. Um, Dream retreat. Dream retreat location anywhere in the world.

Sara Poldmae: 36:27

Oh, I have my eyes on doing a retreat in the fall of 2026 in the northern part of Spain, where all the yummy food is so San Sebastian. It's like one of the food capitals of the world. Oh,

Unknown: 36:39

can I come? Yeah, I don't want to go send me, send me the information now so I can put it in my calendar and I don't overbook Exactly, and that's it. Dr, Sarah pulled me please. Everybody give her a round of applause.

Sara Poldmae: 36:53

I love this. Thank you both. It

Unknown: 36:57

is, it is a pleasure. Always talking with you, always working with you, and this was, I'm fulfilled. Are you fulfilled? I am. I'm a different person after this podcast, I really am. Oh, it probably won't stick, so I'll see you again. Okay? You you.