Daphne's Story: Abuse, Abandonment, but then Abba.

Daphne was born into abuse and suffered abandonment at an early age.  She ran to alcohol and drugs as a way of trying to escape her life, but that only brought her more sorrow.  Daphne then found someone whom she learned had loved her from the beginning more than she could have ever imagined, Daphne trusted in Jesus and received God as her Abba Father.  Abba gave Daphne love and light to help her find her way, and now she is 18 months clean, smiling, laughing, and serving her savior with a heart that desires to help others the same way that Abba has helped her.

Transcript

Daphne 0:00

And it wasn't no place to raise a child. Oh. So I had to get out of that bondage, But after that, I had some heartburn and distress in the, situation. Yeah. I'm living in in, in a trap house that I wasn't comfortable living in doing drugs every day. People take my bank card and take advantage of my money. Yeah. Yeah. I don't want no more than misery. Yeah. You want it out of that so I made up my mind, October 6, 2022.

Phil Shuler 0:33

HellO, and welcome to Renew, Restore, Rejoice, the Safe House Ministries podcast, where we share stories of the power of God to change lives through Safe House Ministries. Safe House Ministries is based out of Columbus, Georgia, and we are a ministry that exists to love and serve people who have been affected by addiction, homelessness, and incarceration. I'm your host, Phil Shuler, the Director of Development for Safe House Ministries here in Columbus, Georgia. Safe House serves over 1, 100 people each month as they transition back into our community. Safe House provides an abundance of services including 213 beds for homeless individuals and families, case management for obtaining job skills and long term employment. Over 300 hot meals every day, free clothing, and so much more. One of the most incredible services that Safe House provides is our free 9 12 month intensive outpatient substance abuse program, which is state licensed, CARF accredited, and has no wait list. Almost 100 percent of individuals staying in our shelters who follow our three phase program become fully employed within a few months. And 68 percent of individuals who stay at least one night with us End up finding work and moving into their own home. Thank you for being with us today and listening to our podcast. We hope you enjoy this week's episode.

Phil 1:47

Good morning. This morning, I have Daphne here with me and I am very glad to meet Daphne. I'm just very happy that she's here. here this morning on the podcast and willing to share her story. Daphne, thank you for being here. You're welcome. Daphne, to start out, I would love to ask you if there was maybe one word that might best describe you, what do you think that word would be defiant? Defiant. Oh, that is, you got to tell me what you mean by that. What's behind that? Why would you say you're defiant?

Daphne 2:21

I think God has me here for a purpose. He's not finished with me yet. I got to continue on my journey of staying in his will, not mine. And strive for it every day and keep

Phil 2:34

praying. You, so you're defying the odds. You're defying the devil. it sounds like you are serious about following the Lord

Daphne 2:41

and

Phil 2:42

the path he has for you. That's good. I like that.

Daphne 2:47

Thank you.

Phil 2:47

Awesome. So Daphne. Alright where did you grow up? Are you from Columbus here or where were you born and

Daphne 2:54

raised? I was born here in Columbus but I was adopted after my mom died in 1972. So we moved to a little small town called Hawkinsville, Georgia. And I stayed there until I got 17 years old and moved back to Columbus.

Phil 3:09

Okay.

Daphne 3:10

Yeah.

Phil 3:11

And was childhood good for you? Not

Daphne 3:15

really the greatest.

Phil 3:17

So the home that you were adopted into was, it was a rough circumstances?

Daphne 3:21

After the adopted mom died, it got worse with the with her older children, with us, me and my brother and my sister.

Phil 3:29

Yeah. Yeah. What was it like growing up? Yeah

Daphne 3:31

it was abusive defunct, de, what's that word, defunctional upbringing, yeah.

Phil 3:37

I'm sorry to hear that.

Daphne 3:40

Yeah.

Phil 3:41

So it was rough. Yeah. Did that cause you to just what did that cause you to try to do as you were?

Daphne 3:48

I Started taking pain pills at the age of twelve years old. Twelve years old? Yeah. Wow. Yeah.

Phil 3:55

What led you

Daphne 3:56

To do that? To deal with the burden of the stress at home life and how I was treated.

Phil 4:02

How did you even get access to pain pills?

Daphne 4:05

My friend's father had his own pharmacy and he used to, with giving the connection to the getting the pills.

Phil 4:12

Yeah. Wow. You had a friend whose father was a had his own pharmacy

Daphne 4:16

business and he had got you pain pills. Yeah.

Phil 4:20

at 12 years old, you started getting addicted to the pain pills.

Daphne 4:22

Yeah. Had to go in the hospital several times. Wow. Yeah.

Phil 4:27

And you did that all throughout your teenage years. Did you start adding other things to that? I smoked

Daphne 4:32

my first blunt in 1980. That was a mistake, also. Yeah.

Phil 4:39

How old were you at that time?

Daphne 4:40

Fifteen. Wow.

Phil 4:42

So you just really, and all of that was to try to escape from what you were The pain and the burden

Daphne 4:49

of the household. And then I started drinking at fourteen. Yeah, and, yeah. Been downhill.

Phil 4:56

Were you did you run away from the house at times? Yeah, I went

Daphne 5:01

to other, the other family of the other, of their families. I tried to convince them that something ain't right in the household. Can y'all help me? Yeah.

Phil 5:13

But they didn't listen or they just,

Daphne 5:15

they would always tell me sit here and calm down and then go back to the house. And then sometimes they'll call them to come back, come there to pick me up, which I was afraid. My brother went over there to the Army in 1981. And that's when I really got crazy. Started going.

Phil 5:34

When he left. Yeah, it was. It was you and your brother. And then when he left. My sister. And your sister.

Daphne 5:39

She went to Job Corps and she stayed there about a year. And so we all were separated. It was just me. So I came back to Columbus in 80, what was it, 82? Yeah, and finished. And I went to Carver High School for a while and I dropped out. And that's when I really got into the discreet life situations. And then I gOt into drugs in 19, was it 91? 90? 1990. Crack cocaine. I did crack for maybe 30 years. How old were you at that point? 25.

Phil 6:16

Wow. So you had gotten, did you graduate high school? No, I'm

Daphne 6:20

going now for my GED classes. Okay. At Columbus Tech now.

Phil 6:24

So how old were you when you just left that

Daphne 6:26

home and got out of that? I think I was 17, 18. I left there. I left Hawkinsville in the 80, 82. And went, got to another adopted family here in Columbus. And I went to Carver High School. Ooh. And I was in the band, I was in all TC classes, and I don't know, something happened there, I quit school.

Phil 6:49

You were, and you were drinking and doing pain pills and

Daphne 6:53

Marijuana. You started other

Phil 6:54

drugs at that point?

Daphne 6:55

Crack.

Phil 6:56

You started crack when you were in high school too?

Daphne 6:57

No, 25 years old.

Phil 6:59

Okay. So then you just left high school. Where'd you live? Just live wherever you could with friends?

Daphne 7:05

Yeah, that situation.

Phil 7:06

Yeah. Just bouncing around? Yeah. Whoever would let you crash at their place?

Daphne 7:11

Wow.

Phil 7:12

And then you started on cocaine at 25?

Daphne 7:15

Then I got pregnant at 85.

Phil 7:17

and did you raise that baby?

Daphne 7:20

No. Oh. She was adopted to a foster family. I didn't have nowhere to live. Nowhere to nurse or take care of her. Yeah. It was a lot of pain too. Twenty Twenty one

Phil 7:33

yeah. Then what was that time period like?

Daphne 7:36

Oh, I can go back. I had a, still born in 84. 84. She was a baby girl. She died when I was giving birth. I think I pulled a muscle or something. Yeah.

Phil 7:49

Wow. And then at 21 you had that baby that you had? You gave up for adoption?

Daphne 7:55

Yeah, the state took over then I had another baby two years later, 87. His name is Irvin Gaston. He's a well known artist in Richmond, Virginia.

Phil 8:05

Really?

Daphne 8:06

Yes. He was 37 years old yesterday. Wow. Yeah.

Phil 8:12

Sounds like he's doing well.

Daphne 8:14

Yeah. He's the only one out of them I raised.

Phil 8:17

So you raised Irvin?

Daphne 8:18

Yeah yeah, and I got another son. He live in Vacuity Bridge, Columbia, Canada. He's 36. He's he's a well known, he's a big time investment banker in Canada. Yeah, he's my youngest. Okay,

Phil 8:35

wow. YOur early adult years, you were just out drinking and doing cocaine. How old were you when you had Irvin

Daphne 8:43

22.

Phil 8:44

Okay. But you were able to keep him? Yeah. Okay. And still living, just wherever you could live? Whoever would let you stay with him? No,

Daphne 8:52

We, me and Irving, we got our first apartment we lived in no, first home we lived in was in, on Jarrow and Hilton bubble home and then from there we moved to East Highland to 23rd Street and I didn't like it living over there cause I was doing drugs over there every day, people knocking on my doors to get high every day.

Phil 9:16

So you had drugs and people would come and you'd get, people would come and you would share your drugs and you'd Yeah. Were you selling them or you just

Daphne 9:23

Was smoking, just smoking.

Phil 9:25

Yeah.

Daphne 9:26

Yeah. And it wasn't no place to raise a child. Oh. So I had to get out of that bondage, you know I moved to 23rd Then my life got better. I got into a program. Yeah called non cost anomalous. I went to the office, it was a 28 day program. It was at the medical center. They shut it down. It folded years ago. But it was a 28 day program. I stayed there. Stayed clean three years behind the program. And relapsed on some, on a beer yeah. And from my real answer was like, in and out, recovery, in and out, back and forth. But this time I'm trying to maintain my clean and serenity time.

Phil 10:11

So you, over the years you'd go back and forth, like you get clean, get back on the alcohol and cocaine and just the cycle of in and out and back and forth.

Daphne 10:20

And then this time around. I'm trying to make it. Yeah. Yeah. I'm trying to do the right things. For the right reason. Now are you in the

Phil 10:29

Tomorrow's Hope program?

Daphne 10:31

No, I was, but I got out of it right now. I'm just at home now.

Phil 10:36

So you, okay. So you went through the Tomorrow's Hope program. You got you that

Daphne 10:40

I got relapsed behind that. Okay. Yeah, to be honest with you and, tomorrow's Hope. I did stay at the Trinity House through Tomorrow's Hope program. Yeah. Yeah. Which was the women's shelter. Yeah, with Pastor Neal Richardson helped me get in there. Yeah. And let me see. Stayed there a little while. Then I went up to Atlanta to a program and didn't stay in there long. Each time I go, I stay there. I come back here and get back on the drugs.

Phil 11:07

So what's different about this time, like right now, where you're at and just being clean?

Daphne 11:12

Praying harder.

Phil 11:13

Praying

Daphne 11:14

harder. Yeah,

Phil 11:16

and are you in a program right now, or you've been out of a program, or you've just been clean for a while?

Daphne 11:23

18 months, Sandy.

Phil 11:26

That's awesome, 18 months.

Daphne 11:28

Thank you.

Phil 11:29

That is amazing. Praise the Lord.

Daphne 11:31

Amen.

Phil 11:32

And then so you're at the Trinity house, the women's shelter for a while with safe house, right? So are you working or how are you paying the bills and everything?

Daphne 11:43

I get a check each month.

Phil 11:45

Okay.

Daphne 11:45

It's just okay. And I pay my bills every month. Pay my rent. First of all. Yep. I've been living in my place now, January, February, March, February. Fourteen months I've been living in my apartment.

Phil 11:58

Wow. Yeah. Did Safe House help you get in that apartment and getting established in that way?

Daphne 12:04

It helped me. Yeah. They put my foot in the door to get it busy. On housing, yeah.

Phil 12:09

Yeah, so maybe someone like Drew or somebody helped you with the casemate? Drew,

Daphne 12:13

Ms. Ginger, Ms. Jamie Lee. Oh,

Phil 12:15

yeah. Yeah. All the big names at Safe House. Through the streets. Yeah.

Daphne 12:19

Yep.

Phil 12:20

With the, they helped you with getting in the, to the apartment or to the place and getting your own place and getting established on your feet.

Daphne 12:27

Yeah. And with words of wisdom too. From them out from them to me.

Phil 12:31

Yeah.

Daphne 12:32

The words they told me it stick with me. Yeah. That's awesome. Yeah. Do you

Phil 12:36

remember any of the things that they said that, that really stick with you?

Daphne 12:39

Yeah. I remember Virginia told me, quit being so needy. Ginger

Phil 12:43

told you that?

Daphne 12:44

Get up and put your foot up. Yeah. Yeah. I sure miss her. Cause she's not there anymore.

Phil 12:55

Yeah. She's working in other ministries.

Daphne 12:58

Yeah. And then Miss Barney played a part, a big major role in my recovery process too. Yeah. Her and Jamie Lee.

Phil 13:06

What, you remember some things they told you or what did they do that really was help to you?

Daphne 13:10

To grow.

Phil 13:11

Yeah. To grow? Yeah. They say to grow.

Daphne 13:13

Yeah. Yeah. Grow

Phil 13:15

in your faith, grow in your walk, grow in your wisdom. Keep

Daphne 13:18

it, keep a straight line. Yeah.

Phil 13:22

That's good advice. Yeah. That's very good advice.

Daphne 13:26

Yeah.

Phil 13:28

Wow. That's amazing. 18 months clean. Now. Just coming Saturday. That's awesome.

Daphne 13:34

I remember before I came to the Trini House, I was sleeping on the park bench right across from where I live at now.

Phil 13:42

Yeah?

Daphne 13:43

Yep.

Phil 13:44

Before you were at Trini House, that's where you were sleeping, just on the park bench? On the

Daphne 13:47

picnic table bench at the park across from where I live at now. Wow. Then Pastor Neal, I called Pastor Neal, he gave me the address to the noise lane location, and I stayed there for a while, yep. But after that, I had some heartburn and distress in the, situation. Yeah. I'm living in in, in a trap house that I wasn't comfortable living in doing drugs every day. People take my bank card and take advantage of my money. Yeah. Yeah. I don't want no more than misery. Yeah. You want it out of that so I made up my mind, October 6, 2022. Yep. I moved in with this old lady that is that she's 94 years old. It's 25 a day to stay there. Wow. So I stayed there from October to my apartment came through in January. Yeah. So I stayed with her like 3 months. I'm sleeping outside of medical center on the bench before the end. Wow. Yeah. I made up my mind, I gotta get some housing, get some choice, some main choices and changes in my life.

Phil 15:02

Yeah.

Daphne 15:03

Yeah.

Phil 15:03

You came to the recognition that It is a choice that you have to make.

Daphne 15:07

Yes, sir.

Phil 15:09

Because it was getting cold in October.

Daphne 15:11

No weather to bathe. No weather, to take care of yourself. Situations. That's why I try to pray every night before I go to bed.

Phil 15:21

Are you going to church anywhere?

Daphne 15:22

The Fort.

Phil 15:23

The Fort Church?

Daphne 15:24

Yes, sir. I hear

Phil 15:25

lots of good things about the Fort Church.

Daphne 15:27

Yeah.

Phil 15:28

That's where Jamie Lee goes to so many people. Yeah. Yeah. Ginger. Ginger, yeah.

Daphne 15:33

And Bonnie. Yeah.

Phil 15:36

That is awesome.

Daphne 15:38

Yeah. That's good. It's a blessing. See their

Phil 15:41

faces on Sunday morning. It's a wonderful place. Yeah. Being in church around other Christians They have been down the same road you been down. Yeah. And it's a good support, a good, you can encourage each other. Hold each other accountable. Give them the heart, the straight to truth. Hey, you need to grow. You need to make better choices. Like the straight talk you're saying that Ginger and Jamie Lee gave you. Daphne, is there any particular story of something that, that happened over the years that you feel like is very relevant to your story that you want to share

Daphne 16:19

about Colicci, the musician.

Phil 16:22

The musician Colicci?

Daphne 16:23

Yeah, we got a lot of similarities in our drug life history.

Phil 16:26

Oh.

Daphne 16:27

Yeah.

Phil 16:28

Okay any any lessons that you've learned over the years that that really have helped you that you would be willing to share that maybe could help others?

Daphne 16:39

Don't put your trust in man, put your trust in God. Strive for the best, not the less. And learn to grow better, learn to know yourself before you go out and make some mistakes that you regret in the future.

Phil 16:57

That's good advice. Yeah.

Daphne 16:59

And keep moving, straight.

Phil 17:01

Keep moving.

Daphne 17:03

Yep.

Phil 17:03

Keep moving straight, keep moving. Skip the hole

Daphne 17:05

in the road. That's what N. A. saying.

Phil 17:09

Get a hole in the road. Stick with the right path. Don't let that devil get you off track and steer you in the wrong direction.

Daphne 17:17

Don't live in the negative. Stay in the positive. Yep. That's good. That's some good advice.

Phil 17:24

Do you get to talk with your Irving a lot?

Daphne 17:27

I texted him yesterday. Wish him happy birthday. Oh yeah. He's in Richmond, Virginia. He's a well known artist. That's awesome. Yeah. A lot of his artwork is on Google or in Instagram. Oh man. Yeah.

Phil 17:43

That's good. Daphne it's been good meeting you. You too. And I appreciate you sharing your story, you sharing just a little bit about What has happened in your life and what the Lord has done. It sounds like it's been a lot of hard times. It sounds though that you, it sounds like you have a strong faith. Thank you. You just, yeah, have you, were you raised in going to church sometimes? Yeah,

Daphne 18:13

growing up. Yeah, I used to go to St. Vincent with my mom growing up on, out there, right there, right up the street from the Trinity house? Yeah. On Thomas Street. So you went to church a

Phil 18:24

lot with your mama before she passed?

Daphne 18:26

Yeah. Yeah. She was Catholic, yep. Okay.

Phil 18:29

Wow. And now you're plugged in and in the fort church. Yeah. Growing in your faith. You just that's awesome. You read the Bible every day, just walking with the Lord, praying.

Daphne 18:42

Yeah. Yeah.

Phil 18:43

Yeah, I do. That's good. That's going to be a huge help. Yeah, I know it has been. Yep. Yeah. A continuation, that anchor that holding onto the Lord, like you're just, like you were saying, to help you stay on the right path. And that's good. That's good dO you serve in ministry at the Fort, or you?

Daphne 19:02

I mainly do the hospitality, clean up after service. Clean up the pews, upstairs, downstairs, and take out the trash. Yeah. I don't, I haven't done it in a while, so I'll probably do it this Sunday. Yeah. Awesome. Yeah, we got a small group tonight at church from 630 to 730 at the Fort.

Phil 19:24

Good. Yeah. small groups tonight as well? Yeah. Awesome. Yeah. I like that. I like small groups. Yeah. I like studying the Bible and especially like just getting with a small group of people and talking about it and thinking about it, trying to apply it to our lives. And live it.

Daphne 19:40

Yeah.

Phil 19:41

I'd be lost without the Bible.

Daphne 19:43

I know.

Phil 19:43

I would so be lost without

Daphne 19:45

the Bible. I'd be a lost soul. Yeah. I was trying to struggle, but now I got a better way.

Phil 19:51

Yeah. The light. Yeah. The light is what you need when you're in the darkness. To help us on the way out. That's what the word is. That's what Jesus is. The light. The light of the world. And those of us that have Jesus in our hearts, we have the calling and the mission to be the light for others to be able to see as well.

Daphne 20:10

Amen. Amen.

Phil 20:11

Yeah. So you keep on that path. Alright. You shine that light. You stick close to the Lord. I'm excited. I'm excited for you. Continuing to grow that time. On the right path. I'm glad to hear that Irvin's doing well. That's good. I'm glad. Thank you. Yeah. Do you mind if I close us in a word of prayer? Yes, we can. Father, I love you. I thank you for Daphne. Thank you for her being here to share her story. I pray that you would bless her. I pray that you would comfort her. I pray that you would be near to her. help her mind and heart and life as she looks to serve you and walk with you. Thank you for the friends that she has at the Fort Church. And thank you for The way that it's clear that she loves you and that she has a heart to follow you, Lord, help her to hold on tight to your hand. And I pray that you would protect her from any trap that the devil may try to send her way. Any stumbling block, move those out of the way. Lord, clear the path and just help Daphne as she looks to you, as she continues to serve you, use her to be a light and a help. To others that they can look at her life and say, you know what? Daphne's been through so much, but look at how she's doing. Look at how she's following the Lord. That Daphne's life would bring hope to others. Thank you for your grace. Thank you for your goodness. Thank you for Jesus. And in his name I pray. Amen. Amen.

Phil Shuler 21:47

We look forward to being with you again next week as we share another testimony about the power and the goodness of God to change lives through Safe House Ministries. if you are someone listening to this podcast that loves to hear these stories of the great things that God is doing in changing people's lives for the better, and if you would like to be a part of that work, please reach out to us You can reach us at 2101 Hamilton Road, Columbus, Georgia, 31,904. You can call us at seven oh six three two two. 3 7, 7 3, or you can email us at info@safehouse-ministries.com.

Microphone (Samson Q2U Microphone)-2 22:25

Thank you so much for being with us this week for the renew restore and rejoice podcast of safe house ministries, we pray that God will bless you this week. And we look forward to having you back with us again next week for a new episode.