Perspectives of Pain, Brokenness and Heartache in Two Lives From One Enemy - Addiction. Part 1 - Kristi the Redeemed.

Today's podcast will be Kristi sharing her story of Addiction and Pain from the perspective of a parent.  Next week Grace, Kristi's daughter will be sharing her story from the perspective of a daughter who grew up with a parent that struggled desperately with addiction.  If you listen to both perspectives, you'll come away with a deepened understanding of the struggle of pain and destruction that addiction brings into the lives of so many.  May God use these episodes to speak to us and help us to grow into the kind of people who can make a bigger difference to break this destructive cycle and help people move past the pain and into the joy of victory and reconciliation.

Transcript

0:00

Good morning this morning on the podcast. We're going to do something a little bit different. We are going to kick off a different kind of. Multi-part series. it's going to be. The story of pain and struggle. And victory eventually. From the perspective, first of a mamma. That's going to be Kristi. You're going to hear her podcast. It was one Kristi's podcast was one of the very first podcasts that we did. And this is going to be a replay of her podcast, but it's going to be Kristi story. It's called Kristi the redeemed. And in the next podcast episode, we're going to share. The perspective of Kristi's daughter, grace, and what it was like growing up with a mom who was an addict, a mom who would just be gone. For stretches of time. and just what grace had to endure. And just her sharing her story. So these podcast episodes will give you. an ability to really begin to understand. The struggle of addiction and homelessness. From the perspective of a parent, but also from the perspective of a young child. Who has to grow up with that? And so I hope you enjoy these next few podcast episodes, and I hope you're able to really just gain some deeper insight into. What it is that so many people around us are dealing with and what even they have to grow up with and I hope that it touches your heart to want to be involved. To partner with us here at safe house and just simply. To show love and kindness to all the people that you meet, because you never know. You just never know where someone's been and what they've been through. And a little bit of love and kindness can really make a huge difference. So enjoy this week's episode with Kristi, the redeemed here, her story. And her struggle. She'll talk about, her children. And her oldest child, grace, she'll talk about having to give grace up. And her parents having to take custody of grace and raise grace. And the next week you'll be able to hear from grace and just hear her story from her perspective. I hope you enjoy, and God bless you.

Phil Shuler: 2:27

Hello, and welcome to renew, restore, rejoice, the safe house ministries podcast, where we share stories of the power of God to change lives through safe house ministries. Safe house ministries is based out of Columbus, Georgia, and we are a ministry that exists to love and serve people who have been impacted by homelessness, addiction, and incarceration. I am your host, Phil Shuler, the director of development for safe house ministries here in Columbus, Georgia. Safehouse serves over 1000 people each month, as they transitioned back into our community safe house provides 213 beds for homeless individuals and families and provides many other important services such as case management for obtaining employment. Case management for finding a permanent home. Over 300 hot meals every day. Free clothing and so much more. One of the most incredible services that safe house ministries provides is our free nine to 12 month intensive outpatient substance abuse program. Which is state licensed and has no waitlist setting it apart from nearly all other state licensed recovery programs, which are often very expensive. And nearly always have a wait list of two weeks or longer. Almost 100% of those. Individual staying in our shelters who follow our three phase program and up fully employed. And 68% of individuals who stay at least one night with us, end up finding work and moving into their own home. Thank you for being with us today and listening to our podcast. We hope you enjoy this week's episode. good morning and welcome to the Renew, restore and Rejoice podcast today. Today I am sitting here with Kristi Hanie and she is one of my colleagues and coworkers at Safe House Ministries, Kristie, thank you so much for being here. Thanks for having me. it's a pleasure to have you here. Thank you. I just wanna start out by asking you, if you could pick a single word that would describe you, what would it be?

Kristi Haynie: 4:26

Redeemed. That is a great

Phil Shuler: 4:27

word. Absolutely. What

Kristi Haynie: 4:28

do you mean by that? I feel like I was once one of the worst of the worst, and I don't have to live that way no more. God, grabbed me, he pulled me out. my life's totally different. So I

Phil Shuler: 4:40

love that. That is an awesome choice of words, You just made my day awesome. And I think you got some great toenails too. Thank you. You guys can't see them on the podcast, but she came to do this audio with some really nice, well polished toes. I just got

Kristi Haynie: 4:55

em done yesterday.

Phil Shuler: 4:56

Awesome. Uh, well, sorry, we're not doing video today. That's totally fine. so Kristi, so I'd love to just kind of begin to, to learn a little bit about your story. Did you grow up here in

Kristi Haynie: 5:07

Columbus? well I grew up in Harris County right outside Columbus.

5:11

Okay.

Phil Shuler: 5:11

So, All right. And what was growing up like for you? What was childhood like, your

Kristi Haynie: 5:15

family? my family was very close. My dad was military, so he was gone a good bit as I was growing up. Yeah. So it's usually me and my mom. I was spoiled. I had everything A kid growing up could want, brand new car at the age of 16, you know? wow. Right. I know. However, my family's love was very conditional, you know, if I was doing what they wanted me to be doing. I got the brand new car and I got this and that, it was very much driven by like money. I didn't, I wasn't raised in church, so I didn't really know anything about God. yeah, so if there was one thing I can like really remember about my childhood, this, I was spoiled definitely. But, the second I would do something that I wasn't supposed to do, I was like, shut down. Like there was no communication. There was no hugs. None of that. Like a cold shoulder. Very much so. So, with that I struggled, you know, with the insecurities, feeling loved, things like that. So,

Phil Shuler: 6:17

okay. So as you grew up in that environment, how did that make you feel? And, and as you hit your, you know, junior years, teenage years, what circumstances began to change in your life?

Kristi Haynie: 6:32

So I began to reach out to things that I had no business reaching out to, trying to fill that void, wanting to feel accepted, things like that. So my, my high school years, I played softball for Harris County. I was really, really good. I was a pitcher. We won the state championship my senior year, things like that. So I would always do really good, like the first half of the school year. Because we had softball going on. It was important. Couldn't be in trouble, you couldn't play. but once that second part of the year came about, you know, I'd start skipping school, started smoking pot, little things like that. I was hanging out with a crowd that wasn't the best. I so just started, you know, making some wrong choices. and then I remember my senior year, softball was over and I, I was, I was really burnt out. I, growing up, I played softball 24 7 year round. and so when that senior year was over, I was just, I needed a break. And instead of just taking a break from softball, I took a break from life, period. ended up quitting quitting school my senior year. Oh. and it, it went downhill from there fast.

Phil Shuler: 7:35

So quitting school, needing a break, what would you say drove you to that and, and then after you quit school, what started happening?

Kristi Haynie: 7:45

I just think the need to be accepted and wanted and to have people like me'cause Okay, so I came from money in a sense. and when you're dabbling in addiction or in addiction, you know, people like you when you have money.'cause you can pay for their drugs too. so this crowd, I mean, you know, here I am with the new car and always had a pocket full of money, real naive and stupid. so those, my drug. Addict friends, you know, they accepted me, they welcomed me. And, in my mind that's what I needed at the time. So that's why I latched on to that. Yeah. And then it's like, like I said, as soon as I make a bad decision, my dad, he was the worst. you know, cold shoulder wouldn't talk to me, so, When I felt like I needed that from somebody, I just went to the wrong

Phil Shuler: 8:31

crowd. And then that cycle got worse because as you were with the wrong crowd making those wrong choices, then your family started to push you away more. Mm-hmm. And I'm sure that probably drove you deeper into those. Right.

Kristi Haynie: 8:42

I've, I've said before that I got so tired of being a disappointment, I just stayed a disappointment. Like I got tired of breaking their hearts with the, you know, I'll do better this time. so I finally just quit saying it and just, Stayed on the disappointment

Phil Shuler: 8:56

side. So what kinds of drugs were you getting into at that point?

Kristi Haynie: 9:01

well I was, I was a full-blown, full, full-blown meth addict by the time I was 18. yeah, so meth, I was tripping on acid, drinking, smoking marijuana. Xanax, anything I could really get my hands on that in my mind, wasn't too bad. I guess because I still, I had that mindset, you know, like, can't smoke crack there, you know, as long as I'm not smoking crack or doing heroin, I'm okay. I was very judgmental in that area, so.

Phil Shuler: 9:30

Wow. Interesting. I've never thought about that. Right. So, you're 18. Addicted to meth in with the wrong crowd. Were you still living at home at this point?

Kristi Haynie: 9:39

kind of off and on. I would disappear for a couple months and then, you know, pop back up in my parents' life. they always made sure I had a car. I. because they didn't want me, I guess, out there doing too much crazy stuff. And I guess they, if they thought I had a car, then I could always come back home or they could find me. Funny story, my parents actually reported my car stolen one time because they hadn't heard from me in a couple months. Yeah, yeah. So I got picked up, I was almost in Kentucky in a stolen car, so,

Phil Shuler: 10:08

Wow. So was it common for you to just go outside the state and travel a lot during that time?

Kristi Haynie: 10:13

not too common. but I did, I mean, I did what I wanted to do when I wanted to do it. Yeah. I was with two, two guys that needed a ride up there for something. So we got in the car and went and all three of us got arrested for Grand theft auto. Wow. Yeah.

Phil Shuler: 10:27

So take us through that time period and, and what kinds of other things happened? did you make a lot of other. Choices that hurt you at that time and, and just kind of what'd that look like?

Kristi Haynie: 10:38

So, I caught my first felony charges literally right after I turned 18. And I will say now it's a little bit easier with felonies to get back into the work force and things like, I didn't really try back then, but right after I caught the felonies, I felt defeated. Like I just ruined my life. I. And I kind of, I kind of let that take me over, you know, oh, well I'm already caught up in this so I might as well keep going now. I was dating a guy that was completely bad news. we were staying in an abandoned house out in Alabama, cooking dope. I was letting people just take my car for like a sec. They'd borrow my car. then they were out. Burglarizing stuff. so we were at a gas station and Lee County Sheriff's Department rolled up on us and took us to jail for all kinds of charges. It was really bad. So that was my first time getting clean. I was in jail. Being in jail. You? Yeah. Well I was in Lee County and my mom worked out a deal with the lawyer and everything to get me in a teen challenge. So, I think I did like five months in jail and then I went to Teen Challenge up in Chattanooga, Tennessee. Okay. So how long were you there? I. One day shy of 15 months. wow.

Phil Shuler: 11:43

And what was that time period like?

Kristi Haynie: 11:45

So Teen Challenge was great. it taught me a lot about God, because remember, I never knew about God until this, you know, I got saved. I, I learned a lot about who I was.

Phil Shuler: 11:56

when you say you got saved, is that you accepted Jesus as your personal savior?

Kristi Haynie: 11:59

Yes. Yes. Yes. Awesome. Yeah, life, life totally changed. it, it was more about finding myself. I remember I stayed in so much trouble there too. just for little things like one, I had to go 30 days one time. I couldn't talk to anybody. They call it a, a green band, to put the little green, what would Jesus do bracelet on? And you're on a communication fast for 30 days. So when I say I did some serious soul searching, it, it was serious. So did

Phil Shuler: 12:25

you feel. love and acceptance, like yes, I'm sure you did. From Jesus Yes. Did, but from the others that were there as well.

Kristi Haynie: 12:32

Right, right. However, even my family, bought me a brand new car. So here goes the gifts again. Yeah. it, you know, things like that. so it, it had good moments and bad moments. And don't get me wrong, I love having a brand new car, but who wouldn't? It's not what I needed. Yeah. At that time. Yeah. I didn't need gifts. I needed, I needed to know my family, loved me, and had my back unconditionally. Yeah. Even though I had made a mess of my life. I needed to know that I was still their daughter and you know that the love was there. Yeah. so,

Phil Shuler: 13:03

and you didn't feel

Kristi Haynie: 13:04

that? No. it was good for a little while when I actually, I left a teen challenge. I graduated and I went to a program called Master's Commission. it's a ministry school. I went in Birmingham, Alabama, and I did two years. and then I, I left, and it was about a week later I relapsed. Oh,

Phil Shuler: 13:22

so, so you had been clean for what, total time period? Three or four

Kristi Haynie: 13:27

years. Oh, wow. Yeah.

Phil Shuler: 13:29

And then what happened that caused you to

Kristi Haynie: 13:31

relapse? I just, I left the program and I was feeling kinda lost. So I'm not trying to take away from Jesus in any sense when I say this, but for me personally, I have to have a 12 step program of AA or na plus Jesus support structure. Yes. I need, I need both mixed in, you know, I need to make meetings. I need to also go to church. I have to have both to keep my recovery strong. Yeah. and so when I had left the ministry school, All I had was Jesus. And I know that that sounds like I'm saying Jesus isn't enough, but for me it wasn't. I get it. I mean, yeah, I mean the Bible, I'm not trying to take away from God. You're not, because it wasn't, I needed more though. Yeah. so, well, Jesus

Phil Shuler: 14:14

tells us in the Bible that we need to have right. Christian brothers and sisters and support and to help, we, obviously the Bible talks a lot about helping each other. Right. So, yeah. so you needed that support structure, Go ahead and keep

Kristi Haynie: 14:26

going. So, like I said, it was about a week later I relapsed. I was working at a restaurant, up there in Birmingham. Ended up coming home for Christmas and actually ran into the guy that I had gotten in trouble with originally. He had just gotten outta prison. so we decided, you know, to hang out. got pregnant, one night stand, got pregnant. How old were you at this time? About 25. Okay. so. Yeah, then it went downhill. So let me back up a little bit too. Before I had hung out with him, I had actually gotten myself back clean. I remember going into work one day and then I found a sack of cocaine in the parking lot at work, and I picked it up and it was just like, what are you doing, Kristi? Like, you have come way too far for this. Like, what are you doing? so I actually got, I got clean. so, okay. But I came home for Christmas, ran into my baby daddy, or he wasn't my baby daddy then. Now he is. and like I said, had a one night stand and ended up pregnant and, he was clean, but mentally he wasn't in a good place. Yeah. and I allowed that to. Have an effect on my life. also he was staying with his grandparents and like a week after they found out I was pregnant, they like kind of pawned him off on me.

Phil Shuler: 15:38

like said You take

Kristi Haynie: 15:39

care of him. Yeah. Yeah. So I actually let him come up to Birmingham with me. and he got a job and everything was okay for a couple months and then it was just, Not okay anymore. and like I said, we weren't using, I was pregnant, but just mentally it was bad. You know, he has his own insecurities and all that. So, it just started coming out more and more. I remember one night I was at work and I got all these voicemails accusing me of like cheating and all this other stuff, and I was just like, this is crazy. He had sent those. Yeah. you know, and here I am like six, seven months pregnant, like out working, trying to, you know, Get ready for a baby. yeah, so I actually ended up moving home when I was eight months pregnant. Okay. so, and I really have not seen him a whole lot since then. So. So he's not

Phil Shuler: 16:27

involved in

Kristi Haynie: 16:28

No. Okay. No. I moved back in with my parents. they helped me, raise grace. beautiful name. Thank you. Thank you. It was actually, it's Mariah Grace. I named her after Mount Mariah from, Abraham and Isaac. Yeah. Wow. So, I bet

Phil Shuler: 16:43

there's a, a real neat meaning and story

Kristi Haynie: 16:46

behind that. There is. There is. And now, like looking back, it all kind of makes sense. So my parents adopted Grace. This was later on in life. but for a long time they had temporary custody. But I knew, if I didn't let my parents raise her, it would've been bad. you didn't want that for her? No. And giving up a child is the hardest thing a woman could ever go through.

Phil Shuler: 17:10

I can only imagine.

Kristi Haynie: 17:11

Yeah, it's the hardest. So knowing that I'm just not, I wasn't capable of doing what needed to be done. Yeah.

Phil Shuler: 17:20

So, so you're at home, you had Grace, your parents are helping you raise grace. What happened

Kristi Haynie: 17:26

from there? I just couldn't get it together. You know, always disappointing my parents over something. and when I relapsed it started small drinking. you know, then it'd go to this and then we'd add that. And before, you know, I'm full blown meth addict again. you know, and I just, I started disappearing again. and for me it got harder and harder every time I'd come home see my child.'cause I knew I wasn't, I wasn't doing anything right by her. You know, so, so you had a lot of guilt

Phil Shuler: 17:54

inside

Kristi Haynie: 17:55

it. Yeah. The guilt and the shame will eat you up, especially when it comes to your children. it is unreal, but it's just instead of facing it and dealing with it, I just kept running and kept running and kept running. I ended up catching some more charges and at this time I actually went to prison in Georgia. With another guy. but when we got out, we actually, we were still together, but we were clean. and we were clean for about two years. and I ended up pregnant again with my second child. I was seven months pregnant when he pulled me into the garage and offered me a pipe with some meth in it. Oh.

Phil Shuler: 18:34

yeah. So you were clean and then he's. Right. Relapsed. And he wanted to

Kristi Haynie: 18:38

bring you in with him. Right. Which I didn't use, thank God. but it went, it went downhill really fast then because he was using, then he also told me that he was gay. here I am seven months pregnant and, you know, I, I knew I was fixing to be alone and, it was scary. It was really scary.

Phil Shuler: 18:57

Yeah. Wow. So where'd you go from there?

Kristi Haynie: 19:01

so my parents ended up helping me get a place. they had bought a house for me. I go them gifts again, in Columbus. They took, they took both my kids at that point, and just gave me this house to kind of party, party in. So what's, what's your second child's name? Bailey. Bailey, Ann. Two girls? Mm-hmm. Awesome.

Phil Shuler: 19:20

Yeah. So, okay. so your parents are raising the girls. You have your own place?

Kristi Haynie: 19:25

Not doing anything with my life. Nothing. how old are you at this point? Oh, 30 in my thirties. Okay. alright. I don't remember how old

Phil Shuler: 19:33

exactly. So not, I won't ask how long, how old you're now, but I don't think you're that much

Kristi Haynie: 19:37

older. You just, I don't mind telling you. I'm 40, so Yeah, I'm 40

Phil Shuler: 19:41

now, so the story gets a lot better at some point. so there you are, you're in your own place. You're partying, you're

Kristi Haynie: 19:48

yeah. so I have my own place. I'm paying$200 a month in food stamps for my house. And it seems like such a sweet deal, but now like those are the things that really ruined my life and I'm not blaming my parents. But I just wish somebody wouldn't have enabled me a little bit along the way. Yeah. so anyways,

Phil Shuler: 20:07

just your, your physical needs were taken care of, but you needed more, right? Right. You needed spiritual and, and other

Kristi Haynie: 20:13

help. Right. So, partying, living it up, I actually got caught with a sack out in Alabama.

Phil Shuler: 20:19

that, I don't know. That means like a bag of drugs? Yeah, a bag of drugs. Okay. Sorry, I, I don't know all the lingo. I'm sorry.

Kristi Haynie: 20:26

No, you're cool. so that, actually I ended up doing two years and 10 days over. Wow. This bag of

Phil Shuler: 20:34

drugs. So is that in a Georgia

Kristi Haynie: 20:35

prison or, well, some, I was in county jail in Alabama and then got sent to Georgia Prison. Okay. For my violation from where I was already on probation. So, and you'd think it would be over then, but it wasn't. I got out, was only out for a couple months, ended up going to Dothan to pick somebody up and got arrested down there. Wow. Yep. Wow. And it doesn't in there either. I think I did like almost a year, on that one. They, they let me out, to go to D R C in Columbus, which is the daily Report Center. Yeah. and when I started I did really good. I, I could have been like a poster child, you know, I came in killing it, doing exactly what I was supposed to be doing. So I started. I believe it was the end of May, so in July is when my parents officially adopted my kids. okay. So they had told me that they were talking, you know, we talked about the adoption and I was okay with it. I knew in my heart that. That's what needed to be done for my kids. so I told'em I was gonna go to the court date and sign the papers. they told me I didn't need to go to the court date. I was like, okay, well, like two months later I found out they got me for abandonment. I, so I've kind of felt like stabbed in the back, you know, like I was willingly gonna give. Give the kids to you. Like, why'd you have to get me for abandonment? Yeah. But now I know that they had to get me for abandonment in order to get my baby daddy's, both of them, for abandonment. okay. But I didn't, I didn't understand that then, and I relapsed. not only did I relapse, I found a guy that was like a kid. I, I had just lost my two kids, so I like picked up some random dude and tried to raise him on the side of the road, if that makes sense.

Phil Shuler: 22:19

Really? Yeah. Wow. That's. That's interesting.

Kristi Haynie: 22:24

Yeah. So that was the worst four years of my life. how,

Phil Shuler: 22:28

with this guy, how old was he at that point?

Kristi Haynie: 22:30

I don't know. He was my age. He was just,

Phil Shuler: 22:32

he acted like an immature child. And you Yeah. You wanted to try to help him

22:35

grow

Kristi Haynie: 22:35

up, as it were. Right. My mom's always said I'd find stray puppies and try to fix'em. Not necessarily puppies, but you know, I just like to fix people or their problems so I don't have to pay attention to my problems. so you want to help people.

Phil Shuler: 22:49

Yeah, that's a good quality, but it is a good quality. It didn't go well at that time, but

Kristi Haynie: 22:54

I was just in it for the wrong reasons. Yeah. yeah, so this guy ended up being, very abusive, narcissistic. and I was, I didn't have any family at the time. I felt like, My parents had just stolen my kids. you know, they didn't really want anything to do with me'cause I was back on drugs. so I like latched onto this guy and I just did not let go. so I, here I am full blown meth addict again. I mean, I spent two months living in a tree house. it was awful. It was awful. the mental abuse alone.

Phil Shuler: 23:27

wow. So yeah. that was, in your thirties now you're in that situation. Did things get worse from there or did circumstances begin

Kristi Haynie: 23:35

to change? Oh, they got way worse. I'm gonna make a long story, a short one though. four years we're together. he ends up going to jail. They tried to, they, they arrested both of us at the time. Thank God I was not with him when. He had stolen some trailers in a camper or something. I don't really know the whole details. Oh, wow. and they had a female on camera, but it was not me. and when they arrested us, they had done their research. They knew all about the domestic violence. They, I mean, they knew everything about our relationship. They didn't want me, they wanted him. and I didn't, I didn't have to tell on him or anything, and I'm gonna be really honest. I probably would have at that point. I was desperate for changes in my life. but they arrested him, and they let me go. And it was in that moment that I, I'd started praying like, God, I don't even know if I can get out of this hole, but if I can, like help me. So I had contacted Pastor Eric, with Safe House Ministries. I was trying to move into the Trinity House. Yeah. my friend Ronnie Price had told me about it. Yeah. That was a women's shelter at that time. Yes. Yes. I was supposed to call him back on that Monday, that Friday I went to jail. so looking back, me going to jail saved my life. I, I sat in jail for five months, but that gave me time to get clean, to really think about my life. and I was tired. I was so tired. So I remember when my mom, when they gave me a bond and my mom was like, okay, let's get you to the Trinity house. Let's, let's do this. I was like, okay. She picked me up from jail that morning. And she took me by their house to get my stuff. And she told me, she said, we have to be gone by three because Grace does not wanna see you. That was my oldest child. Oh, I bet that hurt. I remember sitting at the kitchen table and I almost packed up and I almost left.'cause I was like, what's the point? You know? how old was Grace at that time? She was. 13. Okay. Yeah, 13. but I didn't run that day. I made a decision that, enough was enough. I was tired. and even if she never wanted to see me again the rest of her life, I was still gonna do what I had to do to get clean and to be able to show up. you know, so. My mom. I, I'm telling you, I'm praying and I'm making this decision and like an hour later my mom's like, Hey, guess what? Grace wants to see you. Wow. Yeah. So, it was like the biggest deal ever. Like, that was my first like, okay, God. Okay, God. That's amazing. Yeah. She actually dropped me off at the Trinity House that day. She rode with us and everything. She was like, mom, I love you. I'm tired of your crap, but I love you. Like you can do this. I was like, okay. but that, that, that made it for me. Yeah. that made it for me. So I went to the trendy house. I actually did Midtown treatment. Yeah. The recovery program. Yes. and I loved it. It was the first time I'd ever had like, Narcotics synonymous, alcoholics synonymous training. Yeah. so like I said, everything before had just been, you know, religious. so but

Phil Shuler: 26:37

now you had a structure, right? A specific support system.

Kristi Haynie: 26:41

Right. So, Mr. Jesse, one of the teachers at Midtown, The amount of love that he poured into me, it makes you feel so special. You know, like, and I remember like most of my conversations three months in, were like, well, Mr. Jesse says, well, Mr. Jesse says, you know, it just, it really changed my life having somebody that I'd never met before. He loved me. Like I knew that that man loved each and every person in that class. and it was just different, you know, going to meetings, like having a sponsor, working these steps and seeing that I was the problem, you know, not anybody else. you know, even in this awful four year relationship that I thought had ruined my life, like I got to see where I. I contributed to that. and it makes a big difference, you know? So, yeah. how long was that program? I was in the program for five months. Okay. So, I stayed at the Trinity House, I think almost eight months. and then when I graduated Midtown, my sponsor helped me get into the House of Time, homeless to Housing program. So I moved out into my own place. That

Phil Shuler: 27:45

is awesome. Yeah. So, and it kept on getting better from

Kristi Haynie: 27:47

there, right? Oh yeah. Absolutely. Absolutely. I moved out and I was working a job, and then I remember seeing Jamie Lee. at church on a Sunday morning. She asked me if I was working and I was like, yeah, but I'm looking for a new job.'cause our hours were kind of getting cut at the other place. And she was like, oh, I got a case management position for you. And I was like, I, I want to cry just thinking about it.'cause I remember being in the Trinity House saying, and six months from now I'm gonna be working for the safe house. Really? Yes. so

Phil Shuler: 28:15

you were at. The women's shelter for Safe House. And then you knew at that point you wanted to work for Safe House. Yeah,

Kristi Haynie: 28:20

I wanted to give back to the ministry that helped me. Yeah. when I needed it, you know? I felt like at that point in my life, I mean, so many people had taken chances on me and, and, and I'd always let everybody down, you know? So,

Phil Shuler: 28:32

so you, so Jamie Lee and Safe House hires you as a case manager? Yes. So then are you working in Trinity House as a

Kristi Haynie: 28:38

case manager? I'm at the Grace House. That's the, the women's shelter is now at the Grace House. Yeah. So they moved,

Phil Shuler: 28:43

so did you, you started at Trinity House

Kristi Haynie: 28:45

or? Mm-hmm. They had already moved when I started. Okay. So yeah, I've been at the Grace House, since November as

Phil Shuler: 28:50

a case manager Yes. For the, those in recovery, right? Yep.

Kristi Haynie: 28:54

How do you like that? I love it. Being able to help somebody when they're at their broken moment. You know, just being able to remember what I needed. Yeah. And being able to give that to them. you know, sometimes it's just give'em a hug. Sometimes it's helping'em get an ID or ride to a doctor's appointment. You know, sometimes they just need a shoulder to cry on. yeah. So it's really cool being able to watch people come into the program and then graduate and just being able to see the transformation. I mean, it's beautiful. That is awesome.

Phil Shuler: 29:24

Yeah. So how are things now with you and Grace and

Kristi Haynie: 29:27

Bailey? I am an everyday mom. Fantastic. My parents, they still live with my parents. like I said, they've been adopted. I will never uproot them from that situation unless they want to be, You know? Yeah. They're in a good situation. Bailey goes to private school. She's going to St. Ann's. I mean, St. Luke's, sorry. St. Luke's. you know, grace just started high school. but I am an everyday mom. I show up every day, even if it's just for 30 minutes. Hey. Hi. How was school? my youngest is playing softball. She's pitching. Wow. Yeah. I bet that's really neat for you. It is. It is. You know, I just being able to be a part of their lives. Yeah. you know, I'm mom, they call me mom. sometimes Grace will call me bru, but, I'm still mom, you know, I'm

Phil Shuler: 30:11

not sure I understand that bru thing.

Kristi Haynie: 30:13

Bru. I don't either, but it's like, I am not your bru. I'm your mom. and it's really cool too, because I mean, grace, she's, she's a freshman this year and she's, she's got some struggles. Yeah. But she knows that she can come talk to me about whatever, and that is the best feeling in the world. Like That's awesome. Yeah. You know, she's not scared to reach out or ask my opinion.

Phil Shuler: 30:34

so that's good. Yeah. And you have a good relationship with your

Kristi Haynie: 30:37

parents as well? I do. It's, it's excellent. And I'm driving a brand new car. Wow. I shouldn't even juggle like that, but I, I'm actually paying for this one. I just pay them. Instead of paying a car place, I'm paying them every out of every paycheck. So, I wanna feel like I earned it. Yeah. I don't want a handout today. I wanna work hard for what I, what I have. Yeah. So, it works. But I've been on family vacations. yeah. I can go in my parents' house like I own it. I don't, I don't knock. I just walk in. My mom doesn't have to hide her purse anymore. life's good today. I'm so glad

Phil Shuler: 31:14

to hear that. Yeah. you have an amazing story. Thank you. thank you so much for sharing. the good, the bad, the struggles, the darkness, and then the light and the victory and. It's really neat. Yeah. I'm encouraged. We do recover. That is awesome. And now you are helping other people to get out of their struggles and to get set on a better path Right. And have some stability and joy. Right. And victory in their lives.

Kristi Haynie: 31:42

Yeah. I'm also in school, with Troy University. I'm going for social work, so. Fantastic. Yeah. I just wanna give back. I

Phil Shuler: 31:49

think that's awesome. Yeah. That's really awesome. Thank you. so thank you Kristie. You're welcome. Thank you so much for sharing. I wanna ask you, is there any question that I didn't ask that maybe I should have, or is there any last bit of advice that you want to offer? those who might be struggling?

Kristi Haynie: 32:05

for somebody struggling, I would definitely say don't be scared to ask and don't be scared to say what you need. You, nobody knows if you don't reach out. and there there is nothing anybody has done wrong that's worse than what somebody else has done. Like we're, we've all sinned, we've all fallen short. there is no judgment. Like, let's just do what we need to do to get right. you know, and that's, that's my biggest thing'cause my guilt and my shame from, being this awful mother and being a drug addict, like it kept me held back for so long. and then I get into like treatment and it's like, oh, they don't have their kids either, you know? And it, it, it's, you realize like, it's not as bad as you think it is, and there is a light at the end of the tunnel, quit running from it and let's just do what we need to do. and there will always be somebody there to help you. Always. Awesome. Yeah. Wow. I've never been alone since the day I decided to get clean. I've never had one day alone. Like there's always somebody there.

Phil Shuler: 33:00

as you stated that support and that accountability, that help. From other people. Mm-hmm. Makes a huge difference. Absolutely. Well, thank you. Mm-hmm. Thank you. And thanks for doing up your nails, even though we're not doing video.

Kristi Haynie: 33:13

It's okay. I didn't do my hair though.

Phil Shuler: 33:16

Kristi, I hope you have a good day. you mind if I just close in a word of prayer? Yeah, no, absolutely. Father, thank you so much for this time. Thank you for the story of Kristi's life and What you've done and where she is now, and the blessing that she is to other people. Keep her strong. Keep her by your side and guide her. Give her wisdom as she endeavors to help other people give her the wisdom she needs to know what to say, what to do, and use her to bring many others out of their struggles and bondage into victory. Thank you for blessing her to have such a good relationship with her daughters. I pray you continue to bless that and give her your grace and your strength, and your wisdom and your power as a mother to invest in her daughters to help set them on a great path for their lives. We praise you and love you. In Jesus' name. Amen. Amen. We look forward to being with you again next week as we share another testimony about the power and the goodness of God to change lives through Safe House Ministries. if you are someone listening to this podcast that loves to hear these stories of the great things that God is doing in changing people's lives for the better, and if you would like to be a part of that work, please reach out to us You can reach us at 2101 Hamilton Road, Columbus, Georgia, 31,904. You can call us at seven oh six three two two. 3 7, 7 3, or you can email us at info@safehouse-ministries.com.

Microphone (Samson Q2U Microphone)-2: 34:48

Thank you so much for being with us this week for the renew restore and rejoice podcast of safe house ministries, we pray that God will bless you this week. And we look forward to having you back with us again next week for a new episode.