Letting the Bad Boy Go: Sammy's Story (Part 2)

The deepest darkness of Sammy and Josh's relationship.  Sammy came to the place where she was not blind to the evil reality of what Josh had become and she did everything she could to call him out, hold him accountable, and push him towards sobriety and victory...but none of us can change another person, no matter how much we love them.  Josh would have to come face to face with his demons personally and slay them forever if he wanted any hope of a future with Sammy.  This episode ends with a crazy plot twist and cliffhanger, and next week you'll hear about the miracle God did to bring Josh and Sammy out of the darkness and into light and joy greater than they ever could have imagined.

Transcript

Phil Shuler: 0:00

HellO, and welcome to Renew, Restore, Rejoice, the Safe House Ministries podcast, where we share stories of the power of God to change lives through Safe House Ministries. Safe House Ministries is based out of Columbus, Georgia, and we are a ministry that exists to love and serve people who have been affected by addiction, homelessness, and incarceration. I'm your host, Phil Shuler, the Director of Development for Safe House Ministries here in Columbus, Georgia. Safe House serves over 1, 100 people each month as they transition back into our community. Safe House provides an abundance of services including 213 beds for homeless individuals and families, case management for obtaining job skills and long term employment. Over 300 hot meals every day, free clothing, and so much more. One of the most incredible services that Safe House provides is our free 9 12 month intensive outpatient substance abuse program, which is state licensed, CARF accredited, and has no wait list. Almost 100 percent of individuals staying in our shelters who follow our three phase program become fully employed within a few months. And 68 percent of individuals who stay at least one night with us End up finding work and moving into their own home. Thank you for being with us today and listening to our podcast. We hope you enjoy this week's episode.

Sammy: 1:12

think he went to Talbot at that time in Atlanta. After that, he had to It was, it was bad. He, he relapsed and then he just, it just kept happening. And he

Phil: 1:25

Were you resolved to like Stay with him in the relationship, or? I

Sammy: 1:29

didn't know what to do. Like, my life was just turned upside down. Because I was like, okay, there's a reason. Like, we're back together. There's a reason for this. And, he has a much better time frame than I do, of everything. He went, I think it was Talbot, in Atlanta. And before that, probably the worst thing that he did was, He just kind of disappeared on me. Yeah. Like we were, we had plans to go to church, you know, Sunday we were going to the ridge at the time and couldn't get in touch with him. Couldn't find him. Couldn't anything called his mom. She didn't know where he was and it's the worst feeling in the world. Like I went to his house and I was like Did someone rob here? Like, the TV was gone, the this, like, everything was just.

background: 2:17

Wow.

Sammy: 2:18

Yeah, and so, he finally answered for his mom, and then, I'm trying to remember if it was that time or, he ended up in the Bradley one time, but he, Or maybe he got the apartment in Grove Park after Talbot, but there was a time he went to Talbot, he was driving back and forth to meetings there, he was doing injections, that's what it was. He was doing injections, and he was living in Grove Park. But

Phil: 2:41

Injections meaning like shooting up drugs? No, no, it was like to keep

Sammy: 2:44

him from Like a medicine to help him with the addiction

Phil: 2:48

cravings.

Sammy: 2:49

And he was doing that, but one night, I guess, the problem was He knew so many people, and they were right around the corner. I mean, they were in Kirkwood. Like, on the north side of town. Like, places you never, ever think. And that's where he relapsed again. Like, he was with me that night. Left. Yeah. And went, and did that.

background: 3:12

Wow.

Sammy: 3:13

And, that's whenever I could just tell. Like, I just stopped being blind to it. So, like, it's very hard whenever you know somebody and are very close to someone. Like, once they've kind of pulled the wool over your eyes, like, I was like, this isn't happening again. Yeah. And I would, I would call his parents on him. I was like, hey, you need to drug test him. He's lying. Like, I was the bad guy. I didn't care. He ended up

Phil: 3:42

Oh, from the, like, so you weren't always that way though? Like there was a time when you were kind of like,

Sammy: 3:46

no, everything's good. He is not using No, he is just lost weight. He's just tired. But then he, he would doze off, like in church, he would doze off. He was working at Safe House the first time and like we went to go see a play and he was like, passed out in the play. I'm like, what are you doing?

Phil: 4:03

But you didn't, you didn't wanna believe or accept that he was back and, and relaxed. He had a

Sammy: 4:06

text message from somebody at work. He's like, I'm worried about you. And I'm like, what's going on? And then, you know, come to find out, of course, it was a relapse. I mean, I have pictures of him still on my phone from all these years. And I'm just like, gosh, like I was stupid. Like, we went to North Carolina, to the mountains for his birthday, and he was, he was using dead, you know, and he got crafty of where to hide things, and I just had to match that craftiness, and I would find it cuz you can only hide it for so long, you know, yeah, especially when you're shooting up and he Still living in Grove Park.

Phil: 4:45

Did you love him at this point or you just you were committed to him or

Sammy: 4:49

I? Have always loved Josh. Yeah. Yeah every stage. I mean I've hated him at the same time like for sure I've He's made me question my choices Many times there was this time that he had wrecked his car and he was walking and I was at work, like he would, he was disrupting my life at this point and I can't remember what made me either look at his location or ask his mom because he would go up to the gas station a lot. It was all off Double Churches Road and I don't know how it happened but I ended up at a trap house. Like, so where is he? Middle of the day on my lunch break, you know, and this guy was like, Oh, Josh, he just hopped the fence, blah, blah, blah, blah. And I'm like, okay. And then this girl comes out, she has one leg and she's like, that was a different Josh. That was it. I was like, girl, I'm not, I said, I will whoop you. Like, I'm not a fighter. I've never been in my life. I was like,

Phil: 5:50

don't be lying to me about Josh. I

Sammy: 5:51

was like, I will, like, we will go toe to toe with him. This guy. He was clearly, you know, tweaked out. He's picking at his skin, and he tells me he's gonna pray for me. I said, don't touch me. Like, and pray for yourself. Like, you probably need to pray for Josh, because I'm about to go kill him. So I'm texting his mom. I jump in my car, and I go over to his house, and he's swaying. You know, he, I knew he was on something, because I probably still have videos of him. Like, he was just swaying back and forth, and I had his mom, he had people over at that apartment that he shouldn't have had, and his parents were like, you're done. Like, you're not gonna live in this. I mean, he's living in Grove Park, it's an expensive apartment. You know, and he's doing that. And that's when he ended up at the Bradley Center. To detox. And he got staph, or MRSA, or something in his nips. And he ended up in the hospital for a long time. And I remember his mom and dad like, We're not gonna go. I said, That's your choice, but I'm going. It's like, cause if something happens, You've gotta live with that. And I mean, I was so mad at him, like I was like, how could you do this, again? Like, We just got through all that. And I don't remember where he went at that

Phil: 7:07

wow.

Sammy: 7:08

I'm trying to remember, like, he's been to so many places.

Phil: 7:12

Was there ever a point that you were at the place where you're like, I'm just done with this. I don't need this. I don't want this. All the

Sammy: 7:20

time.

Phil: 7:21

Yeah.

Sammy: 7:22

After that, like, Going into the hospital, and then, you know, Columbus is so small, and word gets out, and people know, and people are talking. I'm like, gosh. You know, it's, it's embarrassing. I'm sure for him, but like, for me, I was like, this is embarrassing. Like get your act together, because I, I had not the personality of seeing the gray. I'm like, right, wrong. Like, you, you see this, and you see what it's doing to you and he was in the hospital for a long like, he was there for a long time because then it the infection spread to his knee. And he was having to have it trained, and I think that's when he ended up back at his parents for a little bit. And then, they had a condo in Green Island, and that's where he went. And I'm just like here we go. So I've, I kept our relationship kind of very quiet. Only, like, limited people knew. Like, if we would see each other, if we weren't, if we were talking. I had friends that, they were going through similar situations. Like, I had a friend that had children that had addiction problems. Another friend that, her boyfriend. And, we, I had a friend that, her boyfriend. Knew Josh was back on drugs, because he asked for Suboxone. And then I find out, and I'm like, did you know, like, he was doing this? I was like, because you only get Suboxone for one reason and I, I kept things very close, and personal. Like, I didn't tell my parents, I didn't tell the world. Oh yeah, we're back to, you know, I was like, I need to kind of see where this is going.

Phil: 9:00

So you, so there were periods still that you were kind of like, you were together, but then you, maybe you weren't together, but you still stayed in touch and had a relationship, and then you get back together. We would

Sammy: 9:09

still talk, and you know, it was, it was hard. He was one of my best friends. Yeah. Like, maybe it's like a trauma bond or something, but we've, we had this connection, and he lived in Green Island, and The ridges. And he had a friend move in with him, and that's when, you know, his daughter comes back around. His daughter was back and, I mean, it was a lot. It was a lot going on, and we had a big falling out at that point. He likes to say, I threw his key down and sped off. And I was like, no. I knocked on your door, you didn't answer. I threw the key inside. Like, just kind of tossed it and went and got in my car and left. But he likes to The key to the place? To his place, yeah. I was like, I don't I was like, whatever. I was like, I'm just That's one of my done moments.

background: 9:58

Yeah.

Sammy: 9:59

And it only would last for like a couple of weeks or so. Maybe a month. And he ended up I don't know how we reconnected at that point, but this is just Over the last five years or so. Yeah. And, I knew he was using again. And, he got a, a place, a house, a nice house and, he was wearing a black sleeve over his arms that his elbow hurt. I said, no it doesn't. And, you know, he told his parents, so I was like, oh, okay. I'm like, no. His elbow, no, he's fine. He's using. Clearly, like, he is using. And, so, he, like, got this house, and he's like, You're not happy for us, like, you're right, I'm not. I'm not happy for you, because, like, you're, you're just about to ruin your life all over again. This nice house, I mean, you've got your daughter, and that was another big thing, I mean, having her around, and, you know, he's responsible for her, and I would go over there, and I mean, the house would just be a mess. And I was like, come on. Go up to her. A mess. And then his friend was living there. I was like, y'all are, like, two adults living here in, like, a 300, house, like, get it together. Like, get it together for her at least. Like, cause, you're not getting it together for me.

Phil: 11:24

Oh, man.

Sammy: 11:25

I mean, people probably thought that, like, think, like, oh, you're, I was like, I was not soft on Josh. I never was. I, that's whenever I really started involving his parents, like, he's using, he's this, he's that, you need to drug test him. And it was a Christmas that I really remember. I walked in to just go tell him Merry Christmas before going to my parents house. Which, you know, they didn't even know we were talking. And, his, he was just passed out. And his drawer was open. And I saw needles. I mean, it was heroin. And I was like, I took a picture, walked out the door. Like, I always had proof to back up anything. Like, he tried to say his location was at a vape store. I said, nope, you're I was like, I think it was like either the IconoLodge or the I think that's what it was. I said, nope. And I mean, I screenshot it. Like, I was like, no, no, no, no. We're not playing this game. I mean, there was I would show up at his house. And then he also had the Alexis, and I would drop in. And like, I probably sounded like the crazy stalker person. Like, but someone needs to hold you accountable. You're not doing it. And, he, he would give me access to everything. So I was like, well, you're, you gave me the access to the, the Alexis. You gave me access to the rings. You gave me that. And it was just this gut feeling. Like, I need to check this. And like, he had someone over there. I was like, Why is he there? He's like, you should I said, no, no, no, no. I don't care if he's just here to be your friend. I don't care what he's here for. Like, No. And,

background: 13:05

I

Sammy: 13:06

mean, I was There was some very dark times. I mean, I I think our breaking point Like, I was at the beach, and he was at the beach, and he was sick. He was detoxing. And he just Kinda just went off on me. And I called his mom and she's like, I don't know, y'all two are just toxic. I said, okay. That's it. Like, that was my breaking point. And I was just like, I'm not, I'm not doing this. And I actually kinda started talking to somebody else, and I didn't want to tell Josh. Because I was like, it's, if I tell him, it's just gonna be bad. Well. We were not speaking at all, and he came to drop something off at my house, like a present. I'm like, gosh, you got, you show up at the worst times. And, He texted me and was like, whose car is at your house? But, you know, I live at a condo. I'm like, Well, how do you know it was for me? You know? And he tells his mom, like, I feel like his mom was like our third person in our relationship. But I was just, I was just done. I was, I was tired of having like a kid relationship. I'm like, I'm too old for this. Yeah. And I think it finally got his attention that like, I wasn't doing it anymore. And he, he was still using heavily at that point. Like, it was just to not be sick. Yeah. I mean, he was like on fentanyl. And. I mean, his homie is literally a pharmacist. I was like, you could have made a lot of money, you know? He just went the wrong route. And he found the A& R procedure. And I remember his mom calling like, do you want to come down there? I was like, no, I'm seeing somebody. I'm literally on a boat with somebody else. Like, no. I'm done, you know? And I guess they just knew something I didn't. And me and that guy, I ended up, I started kind of like Josh would still text me and then finally I ended up with this guy. Like we had a very bad fight and I was just, I was like, you know what? And nah. And the bad part was Josh knew who he was. He knew, knew who Josh was'cause they went to school. I mean, Columbus is so small. Yeah. In so many ways. And I messaged Josh and I just told him just kind of everything, and I think he had been hanging out with someone, but nobody wanted to tell me that. Like, and he's like, to this day, he's like, I don't know her name, blah blah blah. I was like, we don't have to play coy anymore, like, we're married now. But he found that A& R procedure, and he came back, and he was just like a shell of himself. Like, he wouldn't speak, and I'm like What's, what's wrong with you? He's like, I just don't have a lot to say. I'm like, you don't have a lot to say? And, that's when he started gambling. And that was just, I was like, oh my gosh. Like, we just got through one thing and here's another.

background: 16:05

Wow.

Sammy: 16:05

I mean, he was in church. He was doing that. And, I mean, the A& R procedure, it's crazy because it's on House, you know, the show, House. Yeah. They have it.

Phil: 16:17

That's where they like

Sammy: 16:18

Medically detox you. Yeah,

Phil: 16:19

you put him in a coma kind of thing or put him out and then like

Sammy: 16:22

Yeah, he was medically detoxed and so it's like you've never used an opiate before.

Phil: 16:28

But then he goes to a whole other world of addiction with the gambling.

Sammy: 16:32

Yes, yes, and it was bad. I mean His parents, like, called me, like, he pulled some stuff, and I'm like, Are you stupid? Like, really? Like, you haven't made, like, what is wrong with you? And he tried to pull, like, a hunger strike. I was like, do it! I'm like, I don't care if you don't eat, you know? I was like, nobody cares if you don't eat. And I just, I mean, some of the stuff, I'm just like, Can you believe you did this? And I told him, I said, you need something. You need to go somewhere or like, I'm, I'm not, I was like, I don't care what it takes. I will block you. I will block your whole family. I'm not doing this anymore with you. It's just too much. I mean, you're driving to shorter in the middle of the night and at the gas station, sitting there just playing slot machines. And

Phil: 17:26

From your perspective, was that a legit statement, or were you kind of bluffing?

Sammy: 17:30

I think I was to that point, because I've, I mean, you can't just keep on forever. I mean, I was, I mean, 30 ish. I don't even know. This was a few years ago, so I was in my 30s. Yeah. I just

Phil: 17:44

Did that wake him up? Did that

Sammy: 17:46

I think it was the combination of that and his parents. They're like What, what are you going to do the rest of your life? He had like, pawned the title to his car. Multiple times. He would find it, like I'm just like, And the problem was, I think because he knew, like, he had a safety net. And I told him, I was like, Your parents should take it away from you. Like, I was very hard on Josh. It was never like the soft, like, Oh, it's okay. I was like, no, it's not okay. Like, what you're doing is not okay. You're ruining your life. You're ruining everyone around you. Like, you're ruining this. And, that's when he decided to go to Colorado. And He was gonna go to a place in Atlanta. And his parents were like, his mom was more like, for the Atlanta place, she said, Look, he found this place in Colorado. Let him go. Like and then when they finally, like, agreed, he's like, Oh, well y'all are agreeing, there's something wrong with, you know, he's, he's, he's Mr. Doomsday. And the day he left to go to Colorado, he landed and he went gambling.

18:57

And this ends part two of Sammy's story, and I love how Sammy finally got to the place where she was not going to be deceived, she was not going to let Josh pull one over on her, and she called him out time and time again, but Josh was on such a self destructive path, he finally got clean of his addiction to heroin, but he traded one addiction for another addiction and dove headfirst into the disastrous world of gambling. Next week will be the conclusion of Sammy's story and you will find out just what happens. Josh had gotten so bad that he was destroying the relationship that he had with Sammy and she had had enough. But what you'll learn next week, when you come back and listen, is that God did a miracle in Josh's life. God turned him all the way around, straightened him out, got him clean, got him free from all of those addictions, and set him on the right path. A path where he could actually love Sammy like he was always supposed to have loved her. And next week, you'll hear the conclusion of their story. Obviously you know they're already married, so you know that the Lord did a miracle. But you'll hear just how that miracle came to be when you come back next week. So looking forward to seeing you then. God bless you and we'll be back next week

Phil Shuler: 20:33

We look forward to being with you again next week as we share another testimony about the power and the goodness of God to change lives through Safe House Ministries. if you are someone listening to this podcast that loves to hear these stories of the great things that God is doing in changing people's lives for the better, and if you would like to be a part of that work, please reach out to us You can reach us at 2101 Hamilton Road, Columbus, Georgia, 31,904. You can call us at seven oh six three two two. 3 7, 7 3, or you can email us at info@safehouse-ministries.com.

Microphone (Samson Q2U Microphone)-2: 21:12

Thank you so much for being with us this week for the renew restore and rejoice podcast of safe house ministries, we pray that God will bless you this week. And we look forward to having you back with us again next week for a new episode.