Renew. Restore. Rejoice. A SafeHouse Ministries Podcast

Jesus Redeems the Bad Boy: The Amazing Conlusion to Sammy's Story!

Phil Shuler Season 2 Episode 40

We left the story last week when Josh had been medically detoxed and "freed" from his opiate addiction, only to dive deep into another destructive addiction to gambling.  Hear how Sammy God got brought someone into Josh's life who was finally able to break through and get Josh to face the lies he had not yet faced, and learn how God redeemed Josh and restored Sammy and Josh's relationship to the place where they could build a solid and wonderful life together.

Phil Shuler:

HellO, and welcome to Renew, Restore, Rejoice, the Safe House Ministries podcast, where we share stories of the power of God to change lives through Safe House Ministries. Safe House Ministries is based out of Columbus, Georgia, and we are a ministry that exists to love and serve people who have been affected by addiction, homelessness, and incarceration. I'm your host, Phil Shuler, the Director of Development for Safe House Ministries here in Columbus, Georgia. Safe House serves over 1, 100 people each month as they transition back into our community. Safe House provides an abundance of services including 213 beds for homeless individuals and families, case management for obtaining job skills and long term employment. Over 300 hot meals every day, free clothing, and so much more. One of the most incredible services that Safe House provides is our free 9 12 month intensive outpatient substance abuse program, which is state licensed, CARF accredited, and has no wait list. Almost 100 percent of individuals staying in our shelters who follow our three phase program become fully employed within a few months. And 68 percent of individuals who stay at least one night with us End up finding work and moving into their own home. Thank you for being with us today and listening to our podcast. We hope you enjoy this week's episode.

Welcome back for the conclusion of Sammy's story. Last week we left off when Josh had gone through an intense medical procedure and technically or theoretically became clean from his opiate addiction. But then He went right into another addiction which was just as devastating to his life. An addiction of gambling. And he, so we left off where he was getting on a plane for Colorado and they couldn't find him. when he got off the plane to go to an addiction treatment program because he had gone to do some gambling. So this week you'll hear the conclusion of how God got a hold of Josh, how God redeemed Josh, how God brought him out of the insanity, got him clean, got him free of his addictions. And got him to the place where he was the kind of man that Sammy could build a life with. And you will hear the amazing conclusion of their story at the end of this podcast as well. You will hear some really, really good advice that Sammy gives if you or someone you know has a relative or a loved one. or maybe even a spouse or a partner who is dealing with addiction. Sammy gives some very helpful and very insightful advice that I hope and pray might be a help to you as well. God bless you and enjoy the amazing conclusion of God's redemption in Josh's life and in Sammy's relationship with Josh. And learn how they got to the place where now they are married and pregnant with their first child. And God is just doing some amazing things and blessing them so much. Enjoy.

Sammy:

Yeah, he was medically detoxed and so it's like you've never used an opiate before.

Phil:

But then he goes to a whole other world of addiction with the gambling.

Sammy:

Yes, yes, and it was bad. I mean His parents, like, called me, like, he pulled some stuff, and I'm like, Are you stupid? Like, really? Like, you haven't made, like, what is wrong with you? And he tried to pull, like, a hunger strike. I was like, do it! I'm like, I don't care if you don't eat, you know? I was like, nobody cares if you don't eat. And I just, I mean, some of the stuff, I'm just like, Can you believe you did this? And I told him, I said, you need something. You need to go somewhere or like, I'm, I'm not, I was like, I don't care what it takes. I will block you. I will block your whole family. I'm not doing this anymore with you. It's just too much. I mean, you're driving to shorter in the middle of the night and at the gas station, sitting there just playing slot machines. And

Phil:

From your perspective, was that a legit statement, or were you kind of bluffing?

Sammy:

I think I was to that point, because I've, I mean, you can't just keep on forever. I mean, I was, I mean, 30 ish. I don't even know. This was a few years ago, so I was in my 30s. Yeah. I just

Phil:

Did that wake him up? Did that

Sammy:

I think it was the combination of that and his parents. They're like What, what are you going to do the rest of your life? He had like, pawned the title to his car. Multiple times. He would find it, like I'm just like, And the problem was, I think because he knew, like, he had a safety net. And I told him, I was like, Your parents should take it away from you. Like, I was very hard on Josh. It was never like the soft, like, Oh, it's okay. I was like, no, it's not okay. Like, what you're doing is not okay. You're ruining your life. You're ruining everyone around you. Like, you're ruining this. And, that's when he decided to go to Colorado. And He was gonna go to a place in Atlanta. And his parents were like, his mom was more like, for the Atlanta place, she said, Look, he found this place in Colorado. Let him go. Like and then when they finally, like, agreed, he's like, Oh, well y'all are agreeing, there's something wrong with, you know, he's, he's, he's Mr. Doomsday. And the day he left to go to Colorado, he landed and he went gambling. and the people are trying to find him to the place he's going. I can't even remember the name of it.

Phil:

I remember the place though, like, I just don't remember the name of it, like, where you lived, like, literally in the, in the rough, like, woods, like.

Sammy:

Well, no, he did a wilderness thing when he was younger.

Phil:

Okay.

Sammy:

Straight up wilderness, but this place, like, they cooked you dinner and it was like no sugars or whatever, like, he ate very well there. I think it was Raleigh House. Okay. That's where he went, he went to Raleigh House. And, he spit. I don't know how long he was out there. I'm really not good with, like, the concept of time. Like, everything's just a big blur. But he went there and he worked through a lot of the trauma that he had growing up. Just, like, from being born on. And, I mean, I've heard his story. I've heard his whole story before. And, you know, he's asked me and I don't like hearing it. I don't like hearing what happened to him when he was You know, a baby or, you know, a kid. It's very hard for me to hear and the other day like I was unpacking something and I saw like a kind of like a journal And I was trying to like go through stuff and I read it and I started looking I was like gosh Like it was descriptive of what happened to him From his biological family and It's it's crazy to think that people can do that

background:

And

Sammy:

so he went I mean, he, he was angry. He was an angry person, and when he was at the Raleigh house, and he went through counseling, and they brought me into a couple of the meetings and then he went to sober living, and still then, he, he had his little chip and ego, and I I'm so grateful that he met Hey Zeus there, who was also in our wedding, who was the house manager of Unity. And he helped him a lot, like, calm down, like, Josh got mad because they made biscuits and gravy and someone ate it all, and he didn't get any, and I got a phone call that they ate all the biscuits and gravy, and I'm like, okay like, that's what we're mad about today, and I mean, I give, like, there was Jesus, and then he had Nick, I mean, people were scared of Josh out there because he's so boisterous and big personality, especially, like, watching football and stuff. Like, I I was like, I don't envy y'all because I've known him, I mean, I've known him longer than I haven't. And he is a very big personality to know. And Hazy's really, really, really helped him. And then he started He's doing construction out there. And then I was like, well, you can't do that. Like the whole time, like your rest of your life, you know, what are you going to do? Like, you want to help people like that's your thing. And he started doing the 12 step meetings and he loved it out there. They had a great community out there. The CA community, they had sober volleyball, sober soccer, sober, just everything. Being in Cal, you know, Colorado is like, you know, weed state. Like, in Denver, I mean, they had it, and he had a group of people, and they were not, like, old. They were younger, and, I mean, there was some old people. But they had a lot of clean time combined in these rooms that he would go to, and he loved it out there. And so, he came back for a visit, and that's when I finally told my parents. I said, Josh is here, and he asked me to go to dinner. It's just, I had to rip it off, and I'm crying. I'm like what, like, 32? 31, 32 or something? And I'm like, crying, like, telling, and my parents are like, it's your decision. And I don't know, I just clearly care about what people, well, people, what they think. Yeah, well, I mean, they're your parents, so yeah. Yeah, and so from that point forward, it's been You know, all in the open and he came back and I flew out there for Valentine's Day a couple years ago, I guess last year, year before, and you know, I went out there, my best friend came out there, and then we started doing the long distance. Like he would come here, there, I would, you know, or he would come here, I would go there. It was easier for me because I have a remote job so I could go out there and I would still work and he was working and he got an apartment, a very nice apartment, you know, it was great for him, it was overlooking mountains and then it comes time to like, well, what's, what are we going to do? Like, you, you've got your life together, you've got your life here, but I have my life back home where, you know, both of our families are, both of every, you know, and he, Was it May? He finally, he decided, we got married last March. He decided to move back in May. And so I know it's been a little bit of a struggle coming back here and I was very worried that I was taking him from that community and bringing him into a place.

Phil:

Where he knew all the wrong things, all the wrong people. All the wrong

Sammy:

people and I had people telling me, don't let him come back, don't this, don't that. I was like. Thank you, but I didn't ask. Like, I didn't ask you. And, I mean, the first coming home was hard. I mean, it was hard for him and us in general. I mean, you've got two alpha personalities going together into a house. And I mean, he was having a rough time working when he first started with the safe house. You know, it wasn't what he thought it was going to be in this and that. And I was like, I don't care what you do. Just like quit complaining. You know, I was like, you're coming home and making my day horrible. And so

Phil:

it just makes me like, wow. Like. He better always take care of you, because you are such a help and a blessing to him.

Sammy:

I try. I mean, I, I think I talk to his mom just as much as I talk to my parents, and she's like, Well, how's Josh? I'm like, I'll let you know the truth. Like, I'm not gonna sugarcoat it. I mean, with him, there has to be kind of a clear line of communication, because I know that they have my back. Like, if something happens, like, I can go to them and be like, Hey, like, we need to

background:

Yeah.

Sammy:

And I mean I still look for, you know, triggers or things like that. It's, it's kind of like innate.

Phil:

It's like you're just, you're always in the back of your mind trying to be aware to make sure that Yeah,

Sammy:

like if he comes in and he's in like a really bad mood or gets super stressed out and I'm like, okay, like, anything going on? Do you feel this way? And I mean, they can tell you, anyone can tell you like, oh, I'll, I'll let you know. I'm like Will you, you know, will you let me know? He goes to the meetings here and it's we have, you know, some mutual, well we have some friends that are there and actually have family members that are in there and he didn't, he didn't even know, like, the family member. You

Phil:

have fam, like your fam, some of your family members are in some of those meetings? Yeah. That have dealt with addiction over the years?

Sammy:

Yeah, and I have another family member that just You can't get right. So

Phil:

you, you have really seen that from a lot of different angles.

Sammy:

I've seen it, like with, I mean with Josh, I've seen things I've never wanted to see and, you know, it, I've I know a lot about things that I'd never wanted to know about, I mean. Yeah. I don't think there's anything he hasn't tried

Phil:

was there ever a point when you were tempted to, Try some of those things?

Sammy:

The worst thing I did was take a Xanax when I was in high school, but I think that With seeing what happened to him and just the downfall and just everything I Didn't like

Phil:

you had the the wherewithal and the wisdom to say I'm not even gonna take the first step Yeah,

Sammy:

I don't have an addictive personality. So it's hard for me to understand like That. Like with alcohol, I could take it or leave it. I can walk away from a drink sitting there, you know? And with him being home, I was like, does alcohol bother you? Because he had friends that were alcoholics, and he's like, no, alcohol really never, that was the one thing he wasn't addicted to, but I didn't like him when he drank. He, his sarcasm just escalated, and I was like, ooh. So, that was never really I mean, I didn't have the problem of trying anything.

Phil:

Yeah, you were never drawn to try to

Sammy:

No. I mean, I had drugs around me before. I've had you know I've seen him do bare minimum. He never, like, I've never seen him shoot up. I've never seen him, like, I've seen him smoke weed. Which, nowadays, like, it's crazy to think, like, Oh, yeah, everyone's smoking weed. Everyone around you, like, it's so

background:

open. We're a drugged up society. Like,

Sammy:

it's very open and very different than, you know, back whenever we were younger. Yeah. And so, he, he didn't do those things around me. I mean, he might have popped a pill and I didn't know. But, he was never

Phil:

Yeah, he was more respectful, at least, around you.

Sammy:

Yeah, he probably knew I was like, probably like, Or scared of you. Yeah, yeah.

Phil:

Do you have alcohol in the home, so that's not a big deal to him? Well, I'm pregnant now, so, No.

Sammy:

I mean, he's around alcohol. I mean, my family drinks, and I've, I've told him, I was like, Hey, like, does this bother you? He'll get N. A.'s. And he's likes Hop water? Not hop water. It's kind of like that like H2O hops or whatever like at our wedding all of our groomsmen besides one was sober So I like made sure like we had plenty of options if they didn't want that But the hops it's not even a non alcoholic. It just has a hop flavor So it's not like even the 0. 5 percent or whatever. It's water

Phil:

Yeah, so let me ask you when he asked you to marry him and you said yes Was, was that in part because you really believed that the addiction and the craziness was done? Or did you just love him and wanted to be with him even with the risk of what if something happens in the future?

Sammy:

I know that there's always a risk. But that's why, like, we do everything to mitigate that risk. I mean At this just at that point, I was like, you know, this, he's my person. Yeah. So, like, whenever, like, my dad's like, why him? I was like, it just is, like, you know, people are like, well, why do you love someone? Like, it's so, it's such a hard question, because it's like, there's so many things. I mean and, you know, depending on my mood, like, if I'm mad at him, I'm like, I don't even know today. But we, I like, he's in the meetings. I'm, I would say kind of, not say push, but I'm like, he's like, I don't feel like, I'm like, you're going.

Phil:

It's not a discussion. You don't have a choice. I was

Sammy:

like, also, it's like my time, you know, like, you know, it's like you go. And then it just, I have my routine and I just expect like Tuesdays and Thursdays. I'm like, okay, you're not here. Like that's your, you go to you.

Phil:

Go to your meetings. Yeah.

Sammy:

And he's like, just bring me back dinner. I'm like, okay, that's fine. And You know, he has a close friend now that is also, he's an AA, so like it's, I'm like, oh, did you see him tonight or whatever? And so it, it helps that he's building the community. It's not like it was in Colorado, but also his life is very different here. Like, I mean, family and a house that we're working on and moving and this and that. And I mean, he's back in school. He's finally, you know, pulled the trigger and The problem is, his mom likes to remind him he's a genius, because he took a test and he's a genius, and I'm like, I'm like, he doesn't act like it. Like his ego needs

Phil:

that.

Sammy:

I know, he's like, I need my ego back. I'm like, no, I stomp it every day that I can. He just, he is, he is a special person, and he does love to just help people. And so, I have to remind myself, because he's so generous, I'm like, why are you doing this? Like, You know, and he's had his sponcies, and they just don't seem to work out very well. And I mean, he, I think he's good. But I'm still gonna

background:

watch.

Sammy:

And I'm like, if it aggravates you, it aggravates you. I don't care. I was like, you've aggravated me a long time. Like, too bad. And, so, yeah.

Phil:

So You have an amazing story. Like, you're, I love this conversation. I just and I'm learning so much. How has being pregnant changed the dynamic and the expectation of what the future might look like? How's that affected you guys?

Sammy:

I'm a lot more emotional right now. That's for sure. We're having a lot of things happen during this pregnancy. I mean, we found out. On the cruise ship that I was pregnant, like, running around Belize looking for another pregnancy test. And I didn't get to keep it quiet very long, and, I mean, it kind of, I've told him, like I don't want to be a single parent, but I will, like it's, I'm very protective, and he just, I know he's excited to have, I think he wanted a boy, but he's, he's surrounded by girls, you know, he's got a daughter. So you're, it's going to be a girl. Yes, we're having a girl. And then we have girl dogs and just, you know, I think that's another reason like he went back to school and he wants to be a substance abuse counselor, I believe. Yeah. So I think it kind of pushed him to, I mean, he doesn't want to be working like. All these crazy hours, especially, and you'll be home during school, like, for the beginning. Yeah. Of her life. So.

Phil:

That's awesome. That's awesome. Wow. So, you guys all have a really good relationship with all of your relatives and everybody else now?

Sammy:

Yeah, I mean, every Sunday, we are at my aunt's for dinner. I mean, we go to church with his parents, we go to lunch with his family we just got back from a trip visiting my parents, and, I mean, it's, it's a lot better. I mean, it's one of those things, like, it sounds so cliche and so corny, or like, you sit back and you think, like, you did pray for this and it was a long time, like and I never thought, like, we would actually be here.

Phil:

Yeah. Wow. So, tell me about your personal relationship with God, and, and like, how old were you when you trusted Christ as your Savior?

Sammy:

I was in a bad car accident in my 20s. I flipped a car because the passenger grabbed the wheel, and I tried to correct, and we were in a lifted Tahoe, and we rolled in the middle of the highway right next to the Welcome Center exit. And so we actually all, I had my best friend with me, and then two other people, and we all walked away perfectly fine.

Phil:

That's a miracle.

Sammy:

Yeah. So at that point, that's when I was like, okay, there's, there's a reason. We were all protected. I was protected. We were at a concert before and I was like, you know what? I don't, I don't feel like having a drink tonight. I'll drive, you know? And so I had a state patrol in my face within like, we parked in the next, you know, I have this like in my face asking me what happened. I know he's trying to smell alcohol on me. Have you been drinking? Have you this? Have you that, you know? And I hadn't been, like, there was just a reason for it. And that's when I decided to get baptized. And it was at Cascade Hills, and I had to, like, walk in front of, like, all these people from the balcony. It just, it just fell on me. And so, and that was in my 20s. I mean, I had gone to church, and Josh and I had gone to church, and we're now at St. Luke. And, you know, kind of building. our relationships there.

Phil:

Yeah awesome. Are you involved in ministry together? Like, do you guys work with kids? Or do you do singing in the choir or anything?

Sammy:

No, they don't have a choir and you do not want me to sing. No, we have our Sunday school and we haven't, like, found that, like, I was at Highlands and I was plugged in there a lot and just we haven't I don't know, Josh went to do some mentor thing the other day, and right now, I think just in the season of life that we're in, like, we are, we are tapped to the max of just life, trying to just get, like, get into this house. This house, we've been working on it since May, and like, we're so close, so close to getting in there. And so we just, we haven't found it yet.

Phil:

You still worried about moving away from your dad? Oh yeah.

Sammy:

I, I cry. Josh is like, I don't get it. And I was like, well, it's also, I bought this place myself when I was 21. Like it's been my home. Wow. So yeah

Phil:

so Sammy, think for a second and would you share some of the really key Lessons that you have learned along the way some things that others would do well to learn and maybe be able to help them

Sammy:

like with Josh yeah I say first thing is like trust your gut like especially women like we have these senses and if you feel like something's wrong like something probably is wrong and I would say that and Like, look, look for signs if you're going to be in a relationship with somebody that is an addict or whatever, I mean, it's no different than some relation, like looking for red flags in somebody else, but look and just be, be aware. I mean, you don't have to like constantly like, are you okay? Are you okay? I mean, that annoyed Josh, cause I was like that when he first came home. Because I was scared. And I mean, you have to trust, but verify. Yeah. And, I mean, I, I did, I, I prayed a lot about Josh and about us. And I know that people throughout his family, like, they were praying for him too. You know, it's okay to ask for help with things. I mean, I went to counseling and talked to it. I talked to certain friends. Like, you don't have to go tell the world. It's not everybody's business. It, it helps if you have somebody that has been through it and that can understand, because if you've never been through it, you don't understand it. I mean if someone, you know, like, had an eating disorder, I wouldn't know what to do. But, like, with Josh, like, I, I talk to him and I do check ins and, you know, I kind of ask what he needs. And he's like, well, I just need M1, and I'm like, okay, whatever, you know, like, that's fine. But, yeah, I mean, I've had to kind of rely on myself. And then, if some people like going to Al Anon or going to meetings, and I've gone to meetings with him, like in Colorado, I don't do it here. I only went, you know, with him because I was out visiting, but, and kind of build your community. I mean, things are different, like if you are with an alcoholic, it's not right to drink in front of them, or, you know, I wouldn't, but Josh, I mean, I asked him, like, does this bother you? Like if I was drinking, but I'm not a big drinker. I'm not a big partier and I mean, we're older now. Yeah, so You're not gonna catch me in a club anymore So, yeah, I mean it's all about kind of an open dialogue I mean If the other person doesn't want to tell you what's going on I mean, you can't force that but you have to have boundaries yourself. Yeah, I mean If you don't have that boundary, they're going to walk all over you

Phil:

yeah.

Sammy:

So.

Phil:

That's a lot of good advice. And I love how you started out with the idea of trusting your gut. It is, it is just something amazing to me about the way that God has created and gifted women specifically. I see it in my wife. Like, my kids are great. I've got seven of them. But. They're kids, and they're people, and people get into stuff they're not supposed to sometimes. And it just amazes me that, that sixth sense that my wife has. To like, something's not right. Like, we need to look into this, and she'll dive deeper. And it just, it's really neat.

Sammy:

With one time with Josh, he left his phone at home, so it would say that he was there. It's like, I, I mean, I've woke up in the middle of the night. And like, he didn't call me. Something's, something's different. And I would go. I mean, there's definitely some crazy that, like, came out of me. And, I, I admit it, like, I probably, on a true crime broadcast, if something happened, they probably, like, it was her. Like, she was a stalker. But, I I just had the need to make sure I was 100 percent correct before. I came at him with anything. I mean, the Christmas that he was using, you know, his mom was calling me and I, I didn't want to tell, I didn't want to ruin Christmas. I was like, finally, she said, well, if you, I said, I do have proof. I've got the, you want them? Like, she's like, then you have every right to be mad. I said, exactly I was like, I'm not just going off of all feelings. Like, if I get the feeling, I'm going to see why I have this feeling. And Yeah, it is crazy and we did talk about the other day like Women's intuition and the oh feeling and I mean in today's world you have to have it.

Phil:

It's amazing It really is it's just an amazing gift like just the way that God has created women specifically, I mean, I know all of us have a gut feelings and at some level but It's just and it's so true to listen right to it to Figure out why do I have this feeling? What's going on? Yeah, that's good advice. Any other last words you want to share?

Sammy:

No, I don't think so.

Phil:

Thank you for being here. This has been awesome. This has been really awesome. Just thank you for who you are and just sharing your story and just sharing some things that are going to be a huge help to a lot of people.

Sammy:

Thanks. I feel like it was a little all over the place, but Josh's story definitely has a better timeline than what I have, and I know I've missed so many things that have gone on in our lives.

Phil:

Well, Josh's life has been all over the place, so that's not, I mean, that's not

Sammy:

That is correct. He's working on it. He's getting better.

Phil:

Things are in a great place, though. He's doing so well. He's helping so many people. And I'm so excited for you guys. Do you have a name already?

Sammy:

Yes, we do.

Phil:

Is it something you can share? Yeah,

Sammy:

we're going with Sawyer.

Phil:

Awesome.

Sammy:

Yeah, we Shockingly agreed it was Was it hard or was

Phil:

it kind of like early on you're both like, oh, yeah, that's great. Let's do it

Sammy:

I had names picked out that like I've always wanted but then you know, I have a different last name now and I would I love the name Parker for a girl I was like, I can't do that. It'd be Pee Pee, you know, and kids are mean. And so I, I threw three names out. I was like, here's three. And he's like, I really like Sawyer. I was like, Oh, okay, we're doing it then. Perfect. We've, cause we found out that we were having a girl very early on. People are you going to end up like new? Nope. Nope. We're not waiting. Like as soon as I find out.

Phil:

Awesome.

Sammy:

Oh yeah.

Phil:

Sawyer. That's good. That's great. That's great. You mind if I close this in a word of prayer? Sure. Dear Lord, thank you for your goodness. Thank you for just what you've done over the years in Sammy's life, Lord. Thank you for her family and the many blessings that you've given her. Thank you for protecting her that day when their car flipped on the highway. Just what a miracle. You're so good, God, in so many ways. Thank you for what you've done in Josh's life and just bringing him through the chaos and the, the relapses and so many things, Lord. Thank you for bringing him to the place where his feet are on solid standing and where he's trusting in you and in your son. I pray you'd bless Josh and bless Sammy and their marriage and as they raise little Sawyer. Just do amazing things in their lives and bless them and just keep them close, guide their path, protect them from pitfalls and dangers, and use them to be a great blessing here in Columbus to so many others, I pray in Jesus name, Amen.

Phil Shuler:

We look forward to being with you again next week as we share another testimony about the power and the goodness of God to change lives through Safe House Ministries. if you are someone listening to this podcast that loves to hear these stories of the great things that God is doing in changing people's lives for the better, and if you would like to be a part of that work, please reach out to us You can reach us at 2101 Hamilton Road, Columbus, Georgia, 31,904. You can call us at seven oh six three two two. 3 7, 7 3, or you can email us at info@safehouse-ministries.com.

Microphone (Samson Q2U Microphone)-2:

Thank you so much for being with us this week for the renew restore and rejoice podcast of safe house ministries, we pray that God will bless you this week. And we look forward to having you back with us again next week for a new episode.