How to Go From Having It All, to Living in a Shed and Pooping in a Bucket, Ginger Howze's Story (Part 1)

Ginger was born into a loving family and brought up in a good environment, but struggled with her self image from an early age.  Ginger's story is one that will resonate with anyone who has a child with ADHD or has struggled with ADHD themselves personally.  Her story is powerful, tragic, and beautiful in so many ways.  The Devil is a part of her story, but he is the defeated part, and Jesus is the victor.

Transcript

Phil Shuler: 0:00

HellO, and welcome to Renew, Restore, Rejoice, the Safe House Ministries podcast, where we share stories of the power of God to change lives through Safe House Ministries. Safe House Ministries is based out of Columbus, Georgia, and we are a ministry that exists to love and serve people who have been affected by addiction, homelessness, and incarceration. I'm your host, Phil Shuler, the Director of Development for Safe House Ministries here in Columbus, Georgia. Safe House serves over 1, 100 people each month as they transition back into our community. Safe House provides an abundance of services including 213 beds for homeless individuals and families, case management for obtaining job skills and long term employment. Over 300 hot meals every day, free clothing, and so much more. One of the most incredible services that Safe House provides is our free 9 12 month intensive outpatient substance abuse program, which is state licensed, CARF accredited, and has no wait list. Almost 100 percent of individuals staying in our shelters who follow our three phase program become fully employed within a few months. And 68 percent of individuals who stay at least one night with us End up finding work and moving into their own home. Thank you for being with us today and listening to our podcast. We hope you enjoy this week's episode.

Phil: 1:12

good morning. Thank you for being here on the podcast today with us I have got Ginger. How here today? her and I were working together when I first started at Safe House, she is an amazing woman. Uh, she was one of the leaders in the organization and she has an amazing story all of her own and Ginger is here with us to share that story. So, ginger, thank you for being here today.

Ginger: 1:33

Thank you so much for having me, Phil. It's an honor.

both: 1:36

Yeah. so Ginger, just kicking it off, I would love to ask you if there was one word that might best describe you, what would that word be?

Ginger: 1:44

It

both: 1:44

would be joyful. That's a good word. Yes. How do you mean?

Ginger: 1:48

I attribute it to the Jesus joy, um, in my addiction, which we'll talk about, um, here in a little bit. I, I just felt spiritually dead for so many years and, um, just no joy, completely hopeless. And now I just have such a zest for life and so joyful and everything. I love to laugh. I love to smile. I love to make people feel seen and, and, um, and loved on and cared about. And, uh, so yeah, it would definitely be joyful. That's

both: 2:17

awesome. Yeah. Uh, and it sounds like a spiritual gift that the Lord has given you as well. Just

Ginger: 2:22

definitely, yeah.

both: 2:23

Uh, I need to have more joy in my life. Yeah. Yeah. I think that's awesome. So, um, ginger, will you tell us a little bit about just growing up for you, where did you grow up and what was home life like? Sure.

Ginger: 2:34

Um, so I am the middle child of Bobby and Sharon Goolsby, the most amazing parents ever. Um, I grew up in Columbus, Georgia, lived here all my life. So, um, I have an older brother named Robbie. He's two years older than me. And then I have a younger sister, Lori, that's four years younger than me. And, um, my childhood was, as I tell my parents, just magical, um, very strong Christian values. We grew up in church Wednesday night, suppers, vacation, Bible school, Sunday school, you know, all the things. Yeah. Which of course, when I got a little, little older kicking and screaming, uh, didn't wanna go. And, um, now just having one child of my own, I realize how. Difficult. That was for my mom. Like I'm admire her so much to get up because of course back then we dressed in frilly dresses and the socks and the patent leather shoes different than it is today. Yeah. Different, no jeans ever in the church, you know? My goodness. Very different. Yeah. Yeah. Very different. So, um, but yet to get up and get three young kids ready and, uh, you know, every, every Sunday, but she, they just did it because they knew how important it was. And I'm just so thankful for that because it really instilled the foundation in me, and I knew exactly. where to go to when I was in trouble. Yeah. Who the only one that could save me, so,

both: 3:43

okay. Yeah.

Ginger: 3:44

I'm, I'm grateful for that.

both: 3:45

Awesome. Um, I know your parents have a pretty neat story. Tell us a little bit about, uh, your parents and, and Yeah. Their early days and marriage and Sure. What was like

Ginger: 3:55

Yeah. So, um. My dad was going to Columbus State University and he paid for everything on his own. My grandfather, of course, had the preacher Goolesby, we had the money to do that, but he was very much work, work, work. My dad was doing a paper route. I mean, he would buy his own school supplies, you know, it just, um, he instilled a strong work ethic in my dad. So, um, he was going to Columbus State University and he didn't have the money for one semester, so he had to take that one semester off. And he says he remembers the day coming home and walking into the kitchen. And my grandmother was sitting at the table with a letter and just bawling her eyes out. So obviously he had no. Desires to go into the military. Um, but he was drafted in the army. Wow. For the Wow. Because

both: 4:38

that he took, so he hadn't taken, taking that semester off. Wasn't

Ginger: 4:41

if he had been in school. Yeah. They didn't. Yeah. Wow. From what I understand. So, um, he'll tell everybody I'm, uh, I'm not real brave. He was trying to do everything he could to

both: 4:49

get from going Yeah. Over there. But they didn't have the money, so he had to take that semester off. Yes,

Ginger: 4:53

yes. And, uh, so he definitely, you know, did, wasn't happy about going over there, but, um, because of his schooling and stuff, he went right into officer training school, um, and became a helicopter pilot. So, uh, my parents had been married. I may be getting this wrong. I think it was like two years he got, or a year or something. Uh, nine, no, nine months. I'm sorry. He was, they were married like nine months and he got, uh, sent over to Vietnam. Wow. And he, uh, was a helicopter pilot and really enjoyed that. He loved, loved, loved flying. Yeah. Um, he actually has some old reel to reel videos. My dad's a big photo self-taught photographer. Yeah. And he has some amazing of like the door gunners out of his Huey shooting the jungle. Wow. And while he's flying really cool stuff. Yeah. We need to get it digitized, but, um, that's really neat. And sipping my water. Excuse me. And, um, so he was, uh, I forget what year it was, um, that he was shot down and his helicopter flew, uh, I mean, fell like 500 feet and exploded. It killed, um, wow. To his, his really good friend. Montoya Gooch was his name and another guy. And when it hit, it kind of exploded, obviously, because there was like a little mini war going on that were taking enemy fire. And, um, and the, he went through the front of the cockpit, so a piece of the windshield went all the way through here and like flapped his nose over and he broke his back in, in a few different places. And of course that's, he said that's the worst pain he's ever felt in his life. Wow. So he didn't know if his legs were gone, you know, what was missing. So he laid there and he was kind of feeling around to see, um, and he picked up something and it was his whole bottom jaw. So he had actually, um, wow. Yeah. Dislocated that. So he held onto that. But there was a, um, a, a, a neat, a neat hero in this story. So he told me that the triple canopy is so thick that you can't get down. I mean, he said it's just so much, uh, canopy. So they came to try to rescue them, and of course there's. You know, enemy fire going all around. And there was a, I think he was 19 at the time. My dad had never met the guy and they couldn't get down into the canopy. And this kid, 19-year-old, I mean, my son's 20, but uh, he said, I'll go. And he jumped in the top of a tree. And when he did, when he landed in the tree, of course the, you know, the helicopter's blowing it, uh, blowing the tree back and forth. He broke his arm. Um, but he climbed down that tree and was able to get the winch, dragged my dad, and get him onto the winch to Wow. To lift him up. And, uh, so he, he absolutely saved my dad's life. His name was, we called him the Good Shepherd. Yeah. Yeah. So, um, his last name was Shepherd. And, um, my dad got to meet him many years ago. He is been looking for him for, for years and years and years. That's amazing. Yeah. And they all thought my dad had passed away and they said that, um. When, uh, shepherd would walk into the mess hall that everybody would go. There's the Good Shepherd, there's the Good Shepherd.

both: 7:53

His last name was Shepherd. Yeah,

Ginger: 7:54

shepherd. Last name was Shepherd. Wow. Um, that's awesome. Yeah. It's really special. But anyway, so, um, you know, it just started off tough for my parents to be so young. Young. Yeah. That is a rough start.

Phil: 8:03

It

Ginger: 8:04

is to be so young. And then, um, my dad had many surgeries, was over there for a long time. Finally came, uh, here to Fort Benning, uh, hospital. And, um, there's a picture. So he was told he had broken his back so severely that he wouldn't have kids. He wouldn't walk. All these things. And of course parents are freshly married and, um, mom's like, we're, we're fine. We're gonna do this. God's God, us you know, we we're, you know, this is gonna work. And um, and so there's a picture of my dad where he's in a full back brace, my brother's two and he's, it's the first time my dad was kind of able to run a little bit and it's my chasing my brother in the backyard. So God has just blessed him immensely. So they ended up having three kids and. And, uh, my mom is the most amazing caretaker. Uh, she's been the best nurse to my dad. Wow. Yeah. And, and all of us, so they take That's fantastic. Good care of each other.

both: 8:51

Yeah. Yeah. So three kids and, uh, older brother and a younger sister. Yes. So you're right in the middle.

Ginger: 8:55

I'm right in the middle. Yep. My mom's favorite middle child. Don't forget that she tells me all the time. Yeah.

both: 9:01

And I think you were telling me before that, um, your grandpa invited your dad to partner with him Yes. In kind of running a food business.

Ginger: 9:09

Yes. Yes. So, um, uh, back, back in the day, um, there wasn't all these big chain grocery stores, so there was only, um, a store called, uh, family owned business called Louis Jones, and then there was Piggly Wiggly. And then, um, my dad, my grandfather had, uh, um, some grocery stores called Super Value for a little while. And then when my dad got out and was able to work, it was a long recovery obviously. Um, he just asked my dad, do you wanna go into business with me? And. Dad had been in college and no plans to, you know, that wasn't really what he wanted to go to. The military wasn't really wanting to go in the grocery business, but it was a blessing. And he said, absolutely. So they went into business together and they ended up at one time, I think it was 13 grocery stores with one in La Grange and one in Franklin, Georgia, and the rest were here. Wow. Yeah. Gouldsby Foods. Gouldsby Foods. Yep. Everybody that lives in, uh, has lived here all their lives. Remember that?

both: 9:56

Yeah. Wow. Yeah. Your parents sounds like they have an amazing story. They do. And just the way that God and their faith just shown through. Yes.

Ginger: 10:05

And my dad has had, um, since then, I mean, God, their faith and just what the, I mean, it's a miracle what God's done in my life, but the, um, what he's done in my dad's life and continues to do is. Absolutely a miracle. I mean, my dad has one kidney. He had, uh, a tumor in his kidney removed many years ago. He's had his first heart attack at 42 years old. Um, he's got a stent. Uh, I mean a yeah, he's got multiple stents. He's had aortic aneurysms. Wow. He's had bladder cancer. He's, uh, prostate cancer. You name it, he's Wow. Yeah. And he just, and a lot of, um, health issues from Agent Orange. He's had a lot of issues from that.

both: 10:44

Yeah. Wow. What's his first name again?

Ginger: 10:46

Uh, Bobby. Bobby. Okay. Bobby. Yeah, Robert. But everybody calls him Bobby. All right. AKA big dude is what is what the kids did in the family. Yeah. The all, they have four grandsons, um, between my brother and my sister and I, and they all call him big dudes, so That's awesome. Yeah. Yeah, he's great. I

both: 11:00

love that. Um, man, wow. So it sounds like it was, there was a lot of challenges. Mm-hmm. But it sounds like the way your parents raised you was strong in the faith and just with love in the home. Um, I think you were talking about family dinners every night. Oh, yeah. Yeah. So, uh, where did things start going wrong?

Ginger: 11:19

So, um, at a young age, again, my older brother, everybody in my family's extremely calm. Me and my dad are kinda on the same wavelength. We're we're goofballs and cut up. My mom's a lot of fun too, don't get me wrong. But everybody else is pretty calm, especially my brother and sister. They're, I call them IOR because I'm extremely hyper, but so, um, they knew that, around second grade that I was really struggling, in school. And, it was like someone shot me out of a cannon every day. I mean, I went, didn't sleep much, just really just climbing the walls, you know, 90 miles an hour. Yeah. And I always tell my parents, I'm like, you had another child after me, God bless you. Like, I would've been like, this is it, you know? But, um, anyway, so they knew I was struggling. Uh, elementary school was very tough for me. Um. I had a lot of self-esteem issues, of course.'cause back then teachers didn't really know what a DHD was. Um, and so, uh, they would just kind of send, you're being disruptive. You, you can't stop talking, you know, you're interrupting, you're, stay in your seat, stay in your seat. You know, I'm just all over the place. I just literally couldn't help it. And, um, so they would sit me out in the hallway or move me away from my friends and stuff. So it made me feel, um, I used to just tell my parents, I'm just stupid. What's wrong with me? I'm, I'm, I'm stupid. Um, because I just struggled with learning and retaining and things. So thank goodness for them. They took me to a psychiatrist here in Columbus that suggested going to somewhere in Atlanta. And they had me tested and lots of different testing and, um, and so, uh, I started, uh, they prayed about this a lot because of course you never really wanna medicate your kids. But, um, I started on Ritalin when I was in third grade, and it was a huge help to me. I was able to maintain my behavior, you know, focus better, things like that. psychiatrist would give, uh, my parents a workbook. I can, I mean, I can visibly remember what it looked like. We would color in it and stuff, and I would lay in the bed, um, with my dad and it was called I liked myself because, and, you know, trying to figure out, I used to not be able to name two, three things that I liked about myself, even as a young, at a young age. So, um, that kind of started the challenges for me. I think, um, always feeling different. I always felt like I loved my friends and, uh, boyfriends later in life. Like, I loved everybody more than they love me, you know? If that makes sense. I always felt kind of rejected, like I didn't mean as much to everyone as they meant to me. Was that

both: 13:38

probably a false perception though? Yeah, I think looking

Ginger: 13:41

back, that was a false perception. Um, and that's just kind of how I felt. I definitely wear, you know, all my feelings on the outside, so, and then, just kind of having a DHD or being neurodivergent, you know, I always kind of apologizing for everything or feeling like I was, too much. I'm too loud, I'm too hyper, you know, just, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I still struggle with that. I'm, I'm better with that now. I, I call it neuros spicy, so it's part of my charm. Yeah. But, uh, yeah, just that, that kind of started it. And then when I was 16, um, high school was very, uh, my junior year was extremely, extremely tough. Um, I lost a very, uh, well, she was my best friend, um, Ashley Towns in high school. It was just a sudden unexpected loss. Oh, she was at UGA, and was actually pledging the same, sorority that her sister Ashley, um, was in, in. And, she was killed. And it was devastating to me, obviously, um, my high school. Boyfriend and I broke up. Um, it was just a lot of loss. And so I went into a, a really deep depression, like painful depression where I was non-functional, not able to bathe, not, I mean, just nothing. Um, I had tried marijuana at that time a few times, and, uh, my mom and dad knew I was in some big trouble again, wonderful parents, great advocates, and always seek help, um, for me. And so I went to the Bradley Center and was actually admitted my junior year. Um, it's not really a, a technical term, but I guess you would call it a nervous breakdown. I was like completely, uh, outta touch with reality. It wasn't making sense and things like that. And that was before the drugs. and so I was there for two weeks and then I did outpatient for like three weeks. And then coming back after that was so difficult, you know, coming back to school and it's like, ah, just

both: 15:23

the embarrassment. Yeah, just the embarrassment

Ginger: 15:25

and like fir that further made me feel there's something wrong with me. Yeah. Like, but. In elementary school, I learned, a coping skill for me was my humor. Like, I can make fun of myself and make myself the joke of everything so that no one else can laugh at me. But what I didn't realize doing that, of course I was easily made friends with everyone because I'm very social and, you know, outgoing and stuff, but I didn't realize that programming I was doing to myself, it was just making things worse. You know, I was ugly to myself. and that's been hard to change that. So that carried on through, through high school and then, ended up quitting. I skipped a lot of school my senior year, so, two weeks before I was supposed to graduate, I wasn't gonna walk. So I was like, I'll just get my GEDs, which I did. and then at. I met my son's father, uh, Robbie when I was right before I turned 19. He was six years older than me. Of course, lemme backtrack. My parents were extremely strict because they were good parents. You know, it wasn't just they were on us, they knew where we were going, what we were doing. It was kind of hard to leave the house mom and dad. Um, yeah. so that, that made it difficult as a, a rebellious teenager. And boy was I rebellious, a lot of running away, just putting my parents through just terror. I can't imagine. So you did, it was just a

both: 16:42

downward

Ginger: 16:42

spiral. It was a downward SPI spiral. I don't feel like I ever really pulled out of that. If that makes sense. Um, and then I met my son's father, Robbie, who was six years older than me. So he was 24 when we met. And my parents were like, no, you know, because he was, you were still

both: 16:57

living at the house? I was still

Ginger: 16:58

living at the house when I would stay there. I mean, when they would come find me From where you were 18

both: 17:02

when you met him? Mm-hmm.

Ginger: 17:03

Yeah, right, right before I turned 19. Um, and then he was in college. He was, uh, you know, big school guy and all this stuff and I was like, oh, he's got it, you know, he's got it, got it together here we're going, we're gonna get outta here. And, you know, that kind of thing. So, um, anyway, so, and we ended up, I think I was in 19, which just blows my mind to think about that now because my son's 20 and he's like such a baby to me. Um, my poor parents, but I was 19 and, uh, tried meth for the first time. Yeah. Wow. And what really did it, another thing with him

both: 17:33

like was he was kind of, yeah, it was at a

Ginger: 17:34

party. It was at some friend's house and, yeah. And, um, I didn't think he would ever do that'cause he was going for criminal justice and it like, never smoked pot, like nothing. And I don't know what changed. I thought he was kidding. He was, you know. We'll, we'll do this. I was like, there's no way you're gonna do this. You know, I'll do it if you do it, you know, kind of a thing. And that was it. But what really, um, I've always been really tall. My sixth grade picture, I was, I developed very early, very tall, sixth grade picture. I'm taller than all the teachers. And, and, um, of course now I don't know what they put in food. You know, the boys in high school are, you know, big and tall. I'm like, they all came up to my, you know, my, my rib cage. And so I just always felt big and fat. Like, you're so big, you're so big. So again, self-esteem. Self-esteem issues. And so someone had told me about the meth. They were like, oh, you won't eat. You'll be so skinny. So I was hooked on it. That was, that was honestly my driving force. Like, wow. Yeah, I just, oh, skinny say less. Yeah.

both: 18:28

You just, was that a self-perception or, yeah, no. It, you just, you just felt like you were too big and then Oh, yeah.

Ginger: 18:33

Yeah. I just felt big. I mean, I'm, you know, big boned again, I was just so much bigger than everyone else, and people wouldn't say, wow, you're really tall. I hated being tall back then. I didn't wanna be, it was just like, you're so big. So, and I just felt. Uh, gawky and awkward and you know, I, it's still weird the things that you tell yourself or, uh, that happen as a kid. Like I, you'll seldom ever see me wear tennis shoes. I feel like a big old, like Manish ki type of, and, and which is not true. That's not logical, but it's just from that, you

both: 19:03

know. But that self-image, that self image led you to want to continue the meth.

Ginger: 19:06

Yes, absolutely. And then, you know, um, and then it was just kind of off and on, off and on for, for many years. We were weekend warriors for a long time. I was still

both: 19:16

at your hou at your parents' house? No, I, I

Ginger: 19:17

left after that. Yeah. Did you move in with,

both: 19:20

uh, Robbie? I did.

Ginger: 19:21

I did. Um, and then I had, um, let's see, I stole a lot. I started stealing a lot of stuff. Um, did he

both: 19:28

actually, actually finish college or did he end up He did. He

Ginger: 19:30

has a master's

both: 19:30

degree. Okay.

Ginger: 19:31

Yeah, he would've kept going. I mean, he was like a, I total opposite of me. He loves to learn and stuff. Yeah. But he, uh, ended up getting his master's degree. Super smart guy. But, uh, anyway, so I ended up just, I mean, it's sad to say, but just stealing from the people that have always taken care of me and loved me the most. I mean, I stole jewelry from my mom did. Wow. All different. Wow. So you'd go

both: 19:52

home and visit and then just end up taking things? Yeah, I was just kind of

Ginger: 19:54

in and out, in and out. I would go home and then I would leave, run away when they would leave and I would, you know, that kind of thing. Um, and then they overheard on a phone call. My mom had picked it up and I was talking to somebody about doing cocaine and so my mom of course freaked out, gets my dad. They come home. My dad's like, but they didn't

both: 20:10

know at that point. Until that point. My

Ginger: 20:12

dad, my dad was, mom told me just recently that my dad. Was the one that was suspicious. You know, he was like, some something, something's going on here. He just didn't

both: 20:21

know exactly what it was. Yeah. He didn't

Ginger: 20:22

know, but he was afraid it was drugs. And so mom was like, well, you know, I, I, I don't know. I, you know, may, maybe it's her depression again. Something's going on. My dad was like, no, something's going on. So he comes home and like, calls me. They had a intercom in their house to house I grew up in, and he was like, get downstairs, get in the car. We get in the car, we're not speaking. I'm like, where are we going? Where are we going? You, I could tell he was not, not happy and he was like, we're gonna take a drug test.

both: 20:43

Oh, brother. Wow. So, yeah. So, um, how old were you at that point?

Ginger: 20:46

I wanna say maybe, I don't even know if I was between 19 and 21. I, I was young. Okay. May I think around 19 or 20. So still early

both: 20:54

in the addiction? Early in,

Ginger: 20:56

yes. So they, they tried, they intervened this this whole time. I mean, they've always, you know, tried to help me and, and, and catch things before they got really bad. But, um, obviously I, I failed the drug test and, uh, so there used to be a re uh, a treatment center in Columbus called, um, the turning point. So I was, um, they put me into the turning point. Um, and I don't even remember, it's weird. I just like blocked a lot of stuff out, but I don't remember how long I was there. Um,

both: 21:22

Robbie's still in the picture at this point or? Yes.

Ginger: 21:24

We, we were not allowed to see each other, but you know, we saw each other, we ended up being together for 25 years, so.

Phil: 21:30

Wow.

Ginger: 21:31

Yeah, so, um, yeah, there, there's just been a lot, uh, lots that, that's happened with that. But, um, yeah, so we, uh, just kind of in and out, sneaking around and would leave to, you know, see him and things like that. But, yeah, so I got outta the turning point and then Robbie and I would end up, you know, getting, you know, being together again and, uh, ended up living together. And then, we would, you know, party just on the weekends. It wasn't a big deal. We were able to do that for a long time. Some, some weekends we didn't, and then it just progressively got worse. Um, so when

both: 21:59

you got out of the turning point, did you just go right back into drugs?

Ginger: 22:03

Kind of I, after that I had like a dry spell because at that time, uh, meth wasn't really my thing. Um, it ex ecstasy had come on the scene, so we were doing a lot of ecstasy, you know, here and there. And, uh, and you know, there was dry spells. It wasn't anything that, it was like, I have to have this, but it was, I, I didn't like myself at all. Um, I, I just, I, I hated looking back. I mean, I just hated myself. I didn't, I just felt less than, I felt different, all those things. So I wanted anything I could do to change my reality, how I felt, yeah. You know, to just kind of escape. But, you know, I was, uh, the lies I would tell myself and the enemy would tell me is that, um. I would never do anything like, uh, you know, opioids or something that would be dangerous, you know? I mean, how crazy is that? You know? Um, I had so many friends that have died from opioid addiction, so I was like, I'll, you know, that's, I won't do that. I'll, I'll just do meth, you know, just some ecstasy. Oh my gosh. The insanity. But, um, so yeah, that went on and then we ended up kind of patching things. Um, my parents just kind of realized down the road that we were gonna be together and, and Robbie and I ended up getting married when I was right before I turned 28. And then two weeks after, um, our honeymoon, I got pregnant with my son Jackson. and right before our wedding, I'd say maybe eight months before we got married at 28, we just quit everything. We just Wow. Yeah. Yeah, we had like a drive. Yeah, totally. Just like we're over this. Robbie was working on his master's degree and, um. We were just, just kind of had settled down and, uh, yeah. And then, I found out I was pregnant two weeks after that. And, uh, after our, uh, uh, got married, I was 28. And, um, and I was completely sober till I was, I mean, till my son was almost five. Yeah. Not a thing. I mean, I wouldn't even, even, so things were going

both: 23:57

pretty well. They

Ginger: 23:57

were going well, we had bought a home, um, and had I had a minivan and I was like, mom of the year. I was just like my mother. I mean, I was just such a great mom. I can honestly say that. Uh, were

both: 24:09

you guys plugged into church? You know, oh yeah,

Ginger: 24:11

we were, we still going to Edgewood Methodist. Same one. Yeah. Uh, well, uh, yeah, same Living. Grace you grew up in living. Yeah, same one. Grew up in and, uh, Jackson would a alike and stuff just like I used to with my sister. And, um. Uh, we did all the mother's mornings out. I was, I was blessed that I didn't, uh, work. Robbie worked, um, he worked for Rob Doll Nissan as a service advisor, um, at that time. So, uh, I was able to stay home and it was just me and Jack and we just did everything together. And, it was amazing. And then I was at, took him to a play date at a friend's house, and her husband was outside in the shed and, um, they were, he, they, he was like, you wanna hit this joint? And I was like, sure. Maybe. Uh, yeah. I had done that a long time. I might hit it one time. Well, that was it, you know. Wow. Yeah. It just kind of opened the door for, you know, doing, doing other things here and there. Um, again, it would

both: 25:02

just be, so you, you, you, that one Yeah. Starting it back again mm-hmm. With marijuana. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Then kind of open the door and you're like, oh, this isn't that bad. I like it.

Ginger: 25:11

People say that. you guys out there can agree, disagree with me if you want to, but, um, marijuana is a gateway drug, uh, to, for, for me anyway, in my personal experience. Um, uh, it, it, it just opened things back up because the, the, the true sobriety and abstinence was, and recovery I was living with my son. that it, it, it, that was everything to me, you know? So just kind of cracking that door open and I was like, oh, well that wasn't so bad. You know? And then, I mean, it wasn't like immediately I start doing meth, but it, it, it just,

both: 25:39

yeah. You know, we'd

Ginger: 25:40

start, you know, partying when my son wasn't there. We would, you know, have people over. You'd go back

both: 25:44

to this same friend's house?

Ginger: 25:45

No, at, at our house. Like when my son wasn't there, we had a couple of friends that would come over and Oh, so like parents started, started

both: 25:51

to join with you and Yep.

Ginger: 25:53

Mm-hmm. Yep. And then pushing the

both: 25:54

door open further. Yeah,

Ginger: 25:55

yeah, yeah. Yep. Just pushing the door open further. And, and we were able to do that for many years. And then it just got to, um, what really ch. Turned, um, the page to where it got really bad was when, um, ice, that's a, that's another form of methamphetamine. Like super pure. That's what Okay. Took us all the way down. Yeah.

both: 26:13

Over the cliff.

Ginger: 26:14

Mm-hmm. Yeah. Um, and when we started smoking it too, that's, I had never smoked, um, drugs. So what were you doing before that? I was, uh, just snorting. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Just as, you know, as if that's better.

both: 26:25

But smoking, it was a higher concentration like that. Yeah. It

Ginger: 26:28

just, I don't even, I, I can't describe it, but that's just got us super hooked and then Robbie and I ended up just, um, through the years, it just got worse and worse and worse. And

both: 26:40

was he able to keep his job through that time or, um,

Ginger: 26:42

he, he did for, yeah, for almost the whole time. And then, and then it, and then it wasn't, and then I found out that, um, he, like our house was close to going in foreclosure because I, of course he had. He controlled all the money and everything. So I never knew what was going on with that. I just did my best to not spend any and, you know, do with what we had, make do with what we had. And, um, things just got really, really terrible for both of us. It turned us into like horrible, horrible people. And, um, about how old were you guys and how old was? Um, uh, Jackson? Uh, in early thirties. Okay. Yeah. Early thirties. Yeah. So, and

both: 27:14

Jackson, that's your son's name? Mm-hmm. He was roughly how old about that time? Oh,

Ginger: 27:18

I don't, I wanna say maybe when things got really bad, he, uh, around six, seven years old. Okay. Yeah. I mean, it went and it, it got, so it kinda went downhill fast. It went downhill very fast. Very, very, very fast. Wow. Yeah. I mean, ice hit, hit, hit the scene for us, and that was it. Wow. Yeah. And um, yeah, it got really bad. and whew, real bad. Stay away orders. Police were called. Um, what does that mean, stay away? Orders like, um, temporary, uh. What is it called? Uh, restraining orders. Restraining orders. Thank you. Yeah. Uh, pt. Yeah. Um, so

both: 27:50

people, other people started putting those out on you guys? No, me

Ginger: 27:52

and me and Robbie had those on each other. Yeah. So you guys

both: 27:55

had separated and were It got, yeah. Not living together. Yeah, we

Ginger: 27:58

were at the time, and then I ended up leaving. Um, and the house was basically just, I mean, the home that, the beautiful home and it was a nice home. it just got taken over. There was no power, no water. Um, yeah. Robbie, yeah, he just, it, it just became a, a drug house. And so my parents, obviously Jackson wasn't there for that. Um, my parents stepped in and were, and was like, we were, were taking Jack and we totally agreed. I was like, I can't, I'm in no place to. Wow. Yeah. To, um, so we signed, Robbie and I both signed over temporary, um, custody. Yeah. Um, and Jackson was with my parents for. Almost seven years. Wow. And now I would live there four times with your

both: 28:41

parents, sometimes kinda on and off. Yeah. With my parents

Ginger: 28:43

for, yeah. With, um, you know, but to be honest, you know, it's hard to say as good of a mom as I was, drugs took that from me, completely took that from me. So, um, you know, I thought, oh, Jackson's okay because I did the right thing. He's with my wonderful parents and stuff. But no, he, he loves my parents, but he, he needed his mom and dad, you know? and you know, that was when I was able to really admit that, give that to God.'cause that was many years in recovery of trying to, you know, get over that guilt. and worked through that. But when I was able finally to say that, like, I picked men, I picked drugs, I picked. The lifestyle I picked, whatever my needs were over my son. It was like when I could finally admit that and say that as painful as it is, that's when I was able to get into solutions. It was very freeing for me.

Phil: 29:30

Wow.

Ginger: 29:30

Um, it's like it took some of the shame off, you know what I mean? Yeah. I'm owning this.

Phil: 29:34

Yeah. Um,

Ginger: 29:35

God has forgiven me and um, you know, my parents have, have forgiven me and there was some jail, uh, three different jail stays mixed in there as well. I was stealing from my parents. Um, wow. And thank goodness, I thank them all the time. If it was not for them giving me tough love, I would not be sitting right here today.

Phil: 29:54

Wow.

Ginger: 29:54

That is a fact. They never enabled me the three times I've been to jail. It was, well, once they didn't push the issue, um, I had taken my dad's credit card and the state picked that up, but, uh. They, um,

both: 30:07

sorry. So your, your interactions with the law were related to your stealing and criminal behavior against your parents?

Ginger: 30:12

Yes. Yep. Sad to say. Mm-hmm. And,

both: 30:15

uh, so you and Robbie were kind of on and off and just both of you in the darkness of addiction at the time?

Ginger: 30:20

Yes. Very bad. And then we got completely away from each other. I had this boyfriend that was much older than me and it, it was like the first person that was nice to me. Really. I mean, that's really what it was. He was nice to me. Another It did, yeah. He taught me, he taught me how to, to, to, to make shake and bake another form of like just crank dope. So, you know, he was just real. Is

both: 30:39

that meth or is that something different?

Ginger: 30:40

It's, it's like meth. Yeah. It's kind of, yeah. It's pretty much the same thing. Yeah. But, um, and I lived in a shed with him in Crawford, Alabama, uh, for three months with No, the dead of summer. No, uh, running water. No power. No. Yeah.

both: 30:55

Like an actual shed. An shed. Kind of a actual, yeah, like an tiny actual

Ginger: 30:59

shed. An outdoor shed. Yep.

Phil: 31:02

Wow.

Ginger: 31:02

Yeah. And I used to, um, at nighttime I would run through a field to the house, um, that the people that let us, let him stay in the shed or whatever, let us stay there, they were great. Um, uh, sometimes I would be able to go in and take showers and stuff. They were, they were, they were good to me. Wow. And, uh, but a lot of times I would just run through the field at nighttime and go get in their hose and ba Yeah. Yep. Wow. Yeah. And then, um,

both: 31:27

did they let you go in for the restroom too, or was that Yeah.

Ginger: 31:29

Yeah, we could do that sometimes, but most, most of the time it was in a bucket.

31:32

And that is the end of part one of Ginger's story. We will leave her there in the shed and if you can even imagine it, things will get worse. And next week Ginger will share the depth of the darkness that she faced, uh, when the enemy had dragged her down so far. Don't miss it. Next week, I will give you a little spoiler Obviously since Ginger's on the podcast, things did get so much better. The next week, uh, she's gonna dive deeper and share about the darkness. She will even share some things about demonic sightings and presences and things that just give you chills. you'll want to come back next week and hopefully Ginger's story will be an encouragement to you. To stay away from even the first step in the path of darkness with whether it's marijuana or meth or whatever it might be, just don't even take that first step, because if you don't take that first step, then you'll never. Drop off the cliff. So be encouraged. Ginger has an amazing testimony and, and, uh, the Lord does some amazing things in her life. Come back next week. We look forward to having you back, and we will be here and talk with you then.

Phil Shuler: 32:53

We look forward to being with you again next week as we share another testimony about the power and the goodness of God to change lives through Safe House Ministries. if you are someone listening to this podcast that loves to hear these stories of the great things that God is doing in changing people's lives for the better, and if you would like to be a part of that work, please reach out to us You can reach us at 2101 Hamilton Road, Columbus, Georgia, 31,904. You can call us at seven oh six three two two. 3 7, 7 3, or you can email us at info@safehouse-ministries.com.

Microphone (Samson Q2U Microphone)-2: 33:32

Thank you so much for being with us this week for the renew restore and rejoice podcast of safe house ministries, we pray that God will bless you this week. And we look forward to having you back with us again next week for a new episode.