Divorce and then Down the Rabbit Hole: Keir Sutton's Story (Part 1)

Keir is soft spoken, but he's had a hard story.  His life fell apart after a simple decision one Friday night to buy a six pack of beer...

Transcript

Phil: 0:00

it started with alcohol, then back to marijuana and then, you know, other, other drugs as well. Wow. Associates. People that, you know, that I normally wouldn't have hung out with. Uh uh, which ended up leading to me losing my place. Going from your home, your place of residence? My friend to friend until that ran out. Therefore about a year I was literally homeless, That went on, um, Lost Hope. And then did you lose connection with your kids at that point? Oh yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Again, they'd passed me walking on the road. I knew it was them'cause it was the cars that I got'em, and it was pretty embarrassing. Ugh. You know, it was pretty embarrassing. they usually didn't. Stop or anything, they just, they ignored going, knew it was me, and they kept going. I'd see'em look in the rear view mirror and Wow. And just keep going. Several times I'd reach out to'em, the phone stopped. They, you know, they stop answering phones. I mean, you know, uh, that's what happens. Yeah. And I guess that would tend to drive you deeper into the drugs and the alcohol and it would, you know, uh, so you lose hope and then you lose your sense of direction and, uh, purpose then leaves. Yeah. And that's a, it's just a really, that's a really godawful feeling, you know, when that happens.

Phil Shuler: 1:09

HellO, and welcome to Renew, Restore, Rejoice, the Safe House Ministries podcast, where we share stories of the power of God to change lives through Safe House Ministries. Safe House Ministries is based out of Columbus, Georgia, and we are a ministry that exists to love and serve people who have been affected by addiction, homelessness, and incarceration. I'm your host, Phil Shuler, the Director of Development for Safe House Ministries here in Columbus, Georgia. Safe House serves over 1, 100 people each month as they transition back into our community. Safe House provides an abundance of services including 213 beds for homeless individuals and families, case management for obtaining job skills and long term employment. Over 300 hot meals every day, free clothing, and so much more. One of the most incredible services that Safe House provides is our free 9 12 month intensive outpatient substance abuse program, which is state licensed, CARF accredited, and has no wait list. Almost 100 percent of individuals staying in our shelters who follow our three phase program become fully employed within a few months. And 68 percent of individuals who stay at least one night with us End up finding work and moving into their own home. Thank you for being with us today and listening to our podcast. We hope you enjoy this week's episode.

Phil: 2:21

Hello and welcome to the Safe House Ministries, renew Restore, rejoice podcast. Today I have somebody that I have, just recently met Keir Sutton. And, already he's made a really positive impression on me and I am excited to hear his story. Keir. Thank you for being here.

none: 2:39

Well, thank you for having me. I certainly do appreciate it. It's a wonderful day. Uh, Stephanie.

Phil: 2:44

Speaks very highly of you. Well, she's a great person. I've known her a little while since I've been in Columbus, maybe about three years. Okay. Awesome. Does a lot of really, really good work over at the Safe House. And, uh, she does know all for the good, all for the good and all for the people. She's a character too. She, she's full of personality. She's a country character. She's full of life. And she is? Yeah. Oh yeah. She's awesome. Yeah, she's, I know her brother real well. Uh, that's how her and I met. So awesome. Mm-hmm. Keir, kicking us off, if you had to pick one word that might best describe you, what would that word be? Redeemed. Completely. That is an amazing word. And how do you mean when you, what do you mean when you say that? It's, uh, you know, um, I'm 55 so I'm, I'm in my fourth quarter and, uh, you know, I, someone said to me, uh, a while back my sister, you know, you want be the, uh, the Peter. And your story. And that's what I've strived to do with the help of God. And quite a few other people that have been in my corner and on my side we're pulling it off. Uh, yeah, I would say redeemed. Awesome. I can't think of enough words that go along that branch off with that one that could describe me at the time in my life right now, where I'm at today, where my feet are. I love it. Awesome. Uh, I don't know much of your story, but Stephanie says it's a pretty amazing story. start from the beginning, you know, grow, where'd you grow up and what was home life like growing up? Well, um, I was born in Miami, Florida. My mom and dad, uh, have both passed, but, uh, Kenneth and Janie Sutton, uh, I've got, uh, a bunch of older brothers and the oldest is a sister. Uh, how many total? There's five of us. Fantastic. There's five of us. And, uh, I'm the youngest of course. Ah, so, uh, we, uh, we traveled quite a bit. Uh, like I said, we were born in my, I was born in my, we were all born in Miami, but, uh, my father, he had a traveling sales job, worked for a company called Ros in Purina. So we moved to the Carolinas all over Florida and then to the Carolinas, both north and south. Moved over to, uh, Denver, Colorado in the late 70, mid seventies, uh, 76, 77. Yeah. And then from there, uh, I think it was the, the month that Mount St. Helen's erupted. We, uh, we moved to Houston, Texas. So, um, growing up in Houston was a little different. That was quite a, quite a city to grow up in. We were inner city. I. Lot of different people, lot of different nationalities met, a bunch of different schools. Never went to one school more than a year. Wow, you really did try. Yeah. Yeah. So it shift around a lot. But And so, uh, for the most part, it, all of that was done traveling in a car. So we gotta see a lot of the countryside. Moved to Mobile, Alabama, back to Houston, Phoenix, Arizona. Yeah. From Phoenix, back to Houston. To Atlanta. Uh, so it was quite a feat traveling all over the place, getting to see it out of the, out of the car. A lot of different places. Um, I'd say Kentucky was probably the coolest, waking up and, uh, seeing the clouds laying on the blue grass. All right. It was really pretty. The Rockies were really neat growing up, learning to ski there. Wow. So it sounds like a pretty good childhood. I mean, I'm sure there were challenges with, there were kind of not being able to. Maintain roots and I guess friends even. Right. You kinda had to constantly saying bye, but then again, meeting new people. Yeah. You know? So, uh, probably helped, helped to shape your personality. It certainly did. It certainly did. I got, got into sales early on, uh, which is what my father did, uh, worked for the Houston Chronicle, the Arizona Republic. Okay. So, so good. Like you were pretty solid, pretty, no crazy trouble as a kid. Um, in my teens, yes. So growing up as a teenager, you know, I, uh, experimented with different things. Got a little bit of trouble. Okay. You know, like, uh, substances, drugs and things. Alcohol marijuana. Yeah. Stuff like that. Uh, it wasn't until later on, maybe in my early twenties that I, you know, the alcohol, you know, DUIs getting pulled over, public intoxication, stuff like that started getting worse. It it, and it did. Yeah. It, it certainly did. Um. I'm not gonna do that stuff again. Never gonna happen again. But it did. Yeah. You know, for the most part, uh, yeah. So many of us get stuck in those, those cycles of bad choices, which lead to bad consequences and then telling ourselves, I hate this. I'm not doing this. You know, you know, it just sin in general a lot, times's, it's a vicious cycle that you do get caught up in things of this world, yeah. Um, a caral mine has a hard time accepting that stuff as it is, and then being able to make correct decisions on it, yeah. A lot of people's decisions are based on fear, yeah. For different reasons. So were you, uh, single in your twenties then, or, uh, sure. Uh, I was single in sales, uh, just navigating, so yeah, I, I went from, uh, working for the newspapers Houston Chronicle, the Arizona Republic. To selling cars um, wow. Chev Chevrolets for about 17, 18 years. Yeah. I got into a, so I, so I had my first marriage at 27. Okay. And, uh, that lasted quite a while. We were married, uh, together 17 years, married, uh, 13. Wow. Had two children. Abby and Kara. They're my daughters, both redheaded girls. Awesome. Kara's, uh, she's gonna be 21, uh, Monday, uh, Abby's 24, and she's giving me my first granddaughter. Yay. Congratulations on that. Well, thank, I appreciate How old is the granddaughter? The granddaughter's, uh, may, she was a year in May. Fantastic. Sure. Uh, I saw her just they gave me a surprise visit the other morning. They, uh, texted, they were on their way back from Fort Walton Beach and, uh, decided to stop here in Columbus to see me for a few hours. Awesome. So we went down to the, um, uh, river walk and had some lunch and visited for quite a while. So that was really a surprise. That was great for me. That's awesome. Yeah, I was really excited. That's really awesome. It was a good, uh, good Sunday to Ms. Church over it, but it was, you know, a good cause. Wow. Uh, the youngest daughter, uh, Kara, uh, she does real well, you know, finish school and all, and, uh, she works about 3D. She does, she has about three different things she does for a living, uh, that she really enjoys to do so well. Good. Yeah, so I'm really proud of her. So that, that seven 17 years together, 13 years being married. Mm-hmm. and you said it was pretty good, at least maybe for a while. Yeah. Were you did the alcohol. Become a challenge trying to, well, it didn't, and, and I actually got sober for like 15 years. Wow. You know, altogether. Okay. Through that divorce and, uh, it, it just didn't, it just didn't work out. Yeah. Uh, the marriage, it just didn't, it didn't. And, uh, the girls, uh, and I, you know, we kept our relationship and all but, uh, a little later on mid forties I would have gotten back into alcohol and drugs. Yeah. But that was right after a second marriage. Oh, wow. So I had a little boy, his name is Cross, he's 14 now. His mother and I, uh, we both met in some recovery and then that, um, was Did you meet while you were still married before? No. So you had No. Okay. So this was. You had gotten divorced and that's when you started to get clean and I I was still clean. Okay. Okay. But you had just been going over time to the recovery programs? That's right. Okay. That's right. Gotcha. Again, with his mother and I had, it just didn't work out. Okay. She's from Athens. I was, I'm from northeast Georgia. Yeah. So for the most part, uh, after that second marriage, I had lost my mom, my dad, I relapsed. Oh. And, uh, alcohol. Wow. So the, the heartache and emotional trauma of the marriage breaking up and you lost both of your parents around it? No, my, my, my father first, he lived with me. Wow. Uh, knew that was gonna happen. And then. About eight months later, my mom took her life. And how, how much of a total timeframe between the marriage, divorce, and then the, your parents died? Like, was that a two year period? Did all of that happen Four year period when all of that happened and that was, that was just too much. So from 2009, my first divorce until 2016, I was still sober. Okay. There was a second marriage, mom and dad passed. And then, you know, one day I just, I I, I made a clear deci, I, I stopped and got a six pack of beer, do you remember that moment? I, I do. I like, it was yesterday. I, what sounds Nothing happened. Uh, went home and in fact, I didn't even finish that six pack of beer, but that very next Friday I did the same thing. That night I got a DUI. Wow. So take a second. And is there anything that you can remember about that moment that. You might be able to share that could help maybe be a, a word of caution to someone else. Like it, this was something going on in your heart, in your mind that maybe was a, looking back, was a danger signal that maybe it something that also could have helped you not make that choice to buy that six pack, that first six pack. Yeah. So over the course of those few years there, divorce mom and dad, and a lot of other things going on with the children, not being under the same roof. A lot was building up inside of me. And I didn't speak about it, I didn't talk to anybody. I didn't confide in anybody. You know, I acted out in ways that I shouldn't have. And, uh, you know, I, I think that was a big, that was a big part. Yeah. I, I didn't share with anybody. I didn't, I didn't get counseling, I didn't confide, I didn't pray. I didn't go. I didn't go to church at that time, you know, I mean, none of that stuff you just felt like it was available to me. Yeah. You're just handling everything on your own, keeping it inside. And then it kind of, so, um, came to a, I guess maybe a, a point where it was just too much and you're like like what's a thought that went in your head? You know what, I've got a lot going on. Lemme just get a six pack. This couldn't hurt. Yeah. This couldn't hurt. Things are bad enough, this ain't gonna make it any worse. Sure. Wow. Was a short escape. One week later did the same thing, although nothing happened that first time. The very next week I went same store. I got the same six pack and got a DUI that night. And from that point I had a downward spiral that was actually really, really horrific. Wow. I lost a lot, you know, the second DUI, I couldn't work at the dealership no more, so you immediately lost, lost your job at the dealership after that? Yeah. The second DUI you said? I'm sorry. The second week, that first DUI, right? That first, yeah. Right. So a long time Keirer. And it led to, did that send you spiraling loss of the job? It did. Drinking more and it, it, it really didn't, and I'm in a small town. Everybody knew my name. Where were you at this point? Uh, Northeast Georgia. Okay. Royston. Hartwell. Okay. Lake Hartwell area. Wow. So, so everybody could see the beginning of the spiral, right. My daughters would call and say, dad, you're in the paper. You're in the paper. Yeah, in the paper. Like criminal, like, well, anytime that happens, A DUI or it's, um, I think it's called The Bad and the Busted, so Oh, wow. Yeah. In small towns they publicize it. Yeah. Wow. So you really. Embarrassment. Chances of getting any other jobs of Right. Embarrassment, shame, guilt, humiliation, all that kicked in. Ugh. You know, and, and, you know, uh, I just kept on, things got worse. I started doing other things, uh, other substances. Wow. So the alcohol led to drugs and like hard substances? Yes, sir. Or it started with alcohol, then back to marijuana and then, you know, other, other drugs as well. Wow. Associates. People that, you know, that I normally wouldn't have hung out with. Uh uh, which ended up leading to me losing my place. Going from your home, your place of residence? My friend to friend until that ran out. Therefore about a year I was literally homeless, just living. Where'd you sleep? Like just on a bench or? I, I've slept on a bench. I've had a tent in the woods. Yeah. Just like the people you see here. Yeah. Walking around. That went on for a little over a year. Wow. I mean, my daughters would pass me in. The cars still addicted to what substances at that point? Uh, methamphetamines. Wow. Yeah. How did you make money? Or did you make money? Like how did you, because you would have to have at least some money, I guess, to even buy the drugs. Sure. And, and for the most part, uh, it wasn't anything illegal. I was in sales for quite a while and knew enough people in the car business to where I could, what they call curb cars for different people sell their vehicles. Yeah. And they'd, they'd pay me, you know, so you would find just someone in the public that would sell their cars to, uh, or somebody that I already. You know that to sell their car to the dealership, uh, or to an individual. Okay. Mm-hmm. So you would just kind of broker deals. That's right. Exactly. Exactly. Help people sell their cars and help others find cars. Mm-hmm. That's correct. That went on, um, Lost Hope. And then did you lose connection with your kids at that point? Oh yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Again, they'd passed me walking on the road. I knew it was them'cause it was the cars that I got'em, and it was pretty embarrassing. Ugh. You know, it was pretty embarrassing. Did you find yourself trying to like hide and, uh, no. No, I didn't do any of that. There is a lot of isolation in addiction. Yeah. But as far as, uh, going from one place to the next, yeah. I mean, I wasn't hiding. Yeah. But like when you saw your kids, did you Yeah. Well, uh, they usually didn't. Stop or anything, they just, they ignored going, knew it was me, and they kept going. I'd see'em look in the rear view mirror and Wow. And just keep going. Several times I'd reach out to'em, the phone stopped. They, you know, they stop answering phones. I mean, you know, uh, that's what happens. Yeah. And I guess that would tend to drive you deeper into the drugs and the alcohol and it would, you know, uh, so you lose hope and then you lose your sense of direction and, uh, purpose then leaves. Yeah. And that's a, it's just a really, that's a really godawful feeling, you know, when that happens. Yeah. God has a way to make a way, you know? So it was about a year of over a year being home, a little over a year, just living in a tent on a bench, wherever you could just couch to couch scrounging food, wherever you could find it. That's right. Eating when I could, you know. So, um, did, so you never dove into any other serious kind of criminal things? No. Okay. No, I didn't Selling or anything like that? No. No. I didn't. Just broke into car deals to pay for your personal habit. Wow. That went on for a little over a year and, uh, I had a friend of mine, she was tired of me coming by her house, so she got me a motel room one night with this other guy, and, uh, it was rather late at night. I'd taken a shower, got outta the shower, and I knew in my heart something was either gonna happen something I had a real doomed feeling.

17:02

And that is the end of part one of Care's Story. He has such an amazing story and you'll find that his recovery and restoration is equally amazing. So come back next week and hear the continuation of care story. Thanks so much for being with us this week. God bless you.

06-21-23 SAFEHOUSE-CH2: 17:23

We look forward to being with you again next week as we share another testimony about the power and the goodness of God to change lives through Safe House Ministries. if you are someone listening to this podcast that loves to hear these stories of the great things that God is doing in changing people's lives for the better, and if you would like to be a part of that work, please reach out to us You can reach us at 2101 Hamilton Road, Columbus, Georgia, 31,904. You can call us at seven oh six three two two. 3 7, 7 3, or you can email us at info@safehouse-ministries.com.

Microphone (Samson Q2U Microphone)-2: 18:01

Thank you so much for being with us this week for the renew restore and rejoice podcast of safe house ministries, we pray that God will bless you this week. And we look forward to having you back with us again next week for a new episode.