Falling Back Into Old Habits and the Destruction That Comes from Pride and Uncontrolled Anger - Shun's Story (Part 2)

Shun began making changes and walking a better path after getting out of prison, but he failed to address some very powerful root habits that ended up derailing him again.  He fell back into drugs and ended up with a failed marriage after 13 years being together with his wife.  So many powerful stories and lessons to learn in this episode.

Transcript

Phil Shuler 0:00

HellO, and welcome to Renew, Restore, Rejoice, the Safe House Ministries podcast, where we share stories of the power of God to change lives through Safe House Ministries. Safe House Ministries is based out of Columbus, Georgia, and we are a ministry that exists to love and serve people who have been affected by addiction, homelessness, and incarceration. I'm your host, Phil Shuler, the Director of Development for Safe House Ministries here in Columbus, Georgia. Safe House serves people each month as they transition back into our community. Safe House provides an abundance of services

0:31

Including 184.

Phil Shuler 0:33

beds for homeless individuals and families, case management for obtaining job skills and long term employment. Over 300 hot meals every day, free clothing, and so much more. One of the most incredible services that Safe House provides is our free 9 12 month intensive outpatient substance abuse program, which is state licensed, CARF accredited, and has no wait list. Almost 100 percent of individuals staying in our shelters who follow our three phase program become fully employed within a few months. And 68 percent of individuals who stay at least one night with us End up finding work and moving into their own home. Thank you for being with us today and listening to our podcast. We hope you enjoy this week's episode.

Shun 1:13

So

Phil 1:13

it was just, when you got in the word, the word got ahold of you. Yeah. That's what happened. Man, that's so awful. That's so beautiful. 'cause I, I

Shun 1:19

didn't, I didn't wanna change, I didn't wanna change

Phil 1:21

until God got ahold of you. Yeah.

Shun 1:24

That's crazy. 'cause a lot of people, like everybody, you know, get to this point to what they tired of doing, what they doing. That wasn't me.

Phil 1:29

I had. So you're leading bible studies in prison?

Shun 1:32

Yeah. In jail first? Yeah. Yeah. In jail. On the yard. Like they go to court, they'll come to me, I pray for em. Um, the guys that I got, a lot of people that I got into it with on the street came in, and as soon they see me, they eyes get big, you know, uh oh. But I just go up to him and apologize.

NA 1:48

Wow.

Shun 1:49

And so, you know, that, that meant a lot to him. Wow. Yeah. So, yeah.

Phil 1:54

So this started in jail before you got to prison? Before I

Shun 1:56

got to prison.

Phil 1:58

So that's where your bunkmate was? Okay. Yeah. So how long, so then you, how long were you in jail then, before you actually went to prison? I did. Okay. I did,

Shun 2:05

I did nine months in jail before they sent me to prison. I did nine months in jail before they sent me to prison. Then I went to prison and kept it going.

NA 2:12

Wow. Oh,

Phil 2:13

So you kept it going. So you, you left the jail when they sent you to prison and you picked up, you started a bible study there in prison again?

Shun 2:21

No, not at first. Not at first. You know, I had to, I had to observe first because I had a, I had, I heard That was my first time going to prison. Yeah. Right. And I, and I heard a lot of stories about it, so I'm like, okay, even though I'm in this Bible, I still have to be alert. I still have to use the bone that I know Yeah. That I got. And so, yeah, I went in there, you know, a scary, but it wasn't like that. No, it wasn't scary at all. Okay. It wasn't scary at all. 'cause sometimes you fit in.

Phil 2:44

Okay.

Shun 2:45

So I just went in there, you know, you go in the man, you come outta, man.

Phil 2:48

What prison was it that you went to?

Shun 2:50

I went to, first I went to the what was it? And man, so long ago, I can't even remember.

Phil 2:56

That's all right.

Shun 2:57

But I ended up in Muskogee. Muskogee. I ended up here. Prison. Here? Yeah. In,

Phil 3:01

okay.

Shun 3:01

LCP. Wow. I ended up doing the, the, the remain of my time 'cause I did almost four years. So I did eight, then I went to, I went to like, the intake, you know, they don't, they go to Jackson now, but we ain't go to Jackson back then. And then, uh, so they

Phil 3:16

sent you from Dublin to Columbus?

Shun 3:19

Nah, they sent me from Dublin to,

Phil 3:21

I

Shun 3:21

can't

Phil 3:21

remember, to somewhere else. And then you went from there to Columbus? Yeah. And I went

Shun 3:24

from there and then I came to Columbus. Okay. And so, like I'm still on the path with God though.

NA 3:29

Yeah.

Shun 3:30

Still on the path with God. But like, you know, prison ain't prison is prison. It is like on the outside, ain't nobody going to bother you. 'cause they could tell, you know, people, there's some people they live there and so, you know, it's like you, you don't go in there and try to disrupt nobody house. You all right. But then, you know, that was back then. So I went in there, man, I went in there and everything was cool how these phones just going off as God ain't, but, uh, I went in there everything, everything was smooth. I ain't getting, ain't getting no problem. So I still was reading my Bible and somehow, you know, I people gravitate towards me.

NA 4:04

Yeah.

Shun 4:05

They gravitate towards me.

NA 4:06

Wow.

Shun 4:07

All my life. Wow. They gravitate towards me, you know? So, you know, guys, guys, they couldn't read, couldn't write, they got a, a major sentence young guys, man. So I noticed, I noticed that. And like I said, I observe everything. And I notice that when male come, some of the guys that play around, you know, run around 10 years, 20 years, they can't read. So I, you know, I used to read the letters and then write the letters for 'em. So I sat back one day, I was like, man, I got too much potential. This ain't for me. You know what I'm saying? And so as I really didn't look at who I was until I got to prison, till I'm around a whole bunch of people. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? So I you

Phil 4:50

turn from a mean guy into a nice guy helping others, serving others a nice mean

Shun 4:54

guy.

Phil 4:55

A nice mean guy.

Shun 4:56

A

Phil 4:56

nice mean guy. Yeah. You were nice until someone rubbed you the wrong way. Then you got mean. Yeah. I still, yeah,

Shun 5:01

I still, I, but, but I controlled it. I had, I, it got to the point where I can control it as far as I could stop. Yeah. But my brain didn't stop. Ah. See I had to catch, my brain had to catch up.

NA 5:15

Yeah.

Shun 5:15

So I I always, I thought about it. Took a long time to get it, get it controlled in my brain. Yeah. Yeah. That's the hard part. Yeah. That's the hard part. Hmm.

Phil 5:25

Okay. Yeah. So you're doing good things in prison. You're just helping others sermon, doing things, same

Shun 5:30

thing. I pulled that bible out. We, you know, I held sessions in, in, in prison too. Yeah, you know? All right. Like, you know, people gravitate to you because in there, you know, a lot of people, a lot of people want God, man in jail and in prison.

NA 5:43

Yeah.

Shun 5:43

You know, it make you feel safe, but at the same time, you got people in there look at you and, and they think you weak. You know, some people get, some people get, get, get pushed by it, and some people it don't even, they don't come your way. Yeah. It is all about, like I say, man, you know, it is, it is the aura. Around you, man. You got Aura. Everybody has Aura man. And mine was just, I think mine was just loud, you know? You know, 'cause I'm quiet, you know? You know, that's the only one that make a lot of noise and quiet. Yeah. Make a lot of noise, man. But, uh, I, I managed to get through that with no problems. And, um, I met this young lady while I was in there. While you was in prison? In prison? Yeah. Like she

Phil 6:23

came as a visitor to

Shun 6:24

see you? Nah, she, uh, she was working in the kitchen. Oh. But at first I was just, you know, she wasn't an officer. She was like the steward, like come in from streets and, and just the cafeteria worker. Yeah. So, uh, I used to talk to her about the Bible, you know, she was real cool, young lady, real cool. And, um, I was real cool. I used to work out all the time. You know, I real quiet, you know, they told me to do something. I did it. So I was up under the authority. So, you know, it wasn't like it, I just approached her. She approached me. It wasn't like that. Uh, I told her about my know about me. I told her, uh, what type of woman I wanted to have when I got out, you know, just conversation. Yeah. So I ended up getting out the, um, yeah, I gotta, it is like a movie man. It's like a movie man. So I end up, uh, getting out the kitchen, and uh, that's kind of like when we start, start having different conversations, you know what I'm saying? And then, um, then we end up, you know, now they got the cell phones in the prison. Yeah. So, yeah. Secret like sneaking cell phones. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We got cell phones. So I start using the cell phone, got a number, you know what I'm saying? Still helping with the Bible man. Just all of a sudden, man, this light just went on. Like, oh man, this the one for me.

Phil 7:34

So you was, you were calling her after work, right? Like she was back at home, not in the room. Right. And Okay. Right. So

Shun 7:41

I got out, I ended up marrying her.

Phil 7:43

Wow.

Shun 7:44

Yeah, I ended up marrying her. What's her name? I ain't gonna disclose her name. Okay. Yeah. You not married

Phil 7:49

to her anymore?

Shun 7:50

Now we just got, we was married for 13 years though. Oh, wow. I had, I had, uh, she had two kids. She had two before you got married? Yeah, she had a little daughter was one years old. cause I had told her I wanted to, I ain't have no kids. Yeah. So that's, that's one of the reason that I was, I was, I, I was, because you know, I, I ain't have no kids, so there wasn't nothing stopping me from doing, you know what I'm saying? Nothing. Yeah. Stopped me from doing nothing.

Phil 8:14

So you got outta prison, you had won her heart and y'all got married. She won my heart. She, ah,

Shun 8:20

she won my heart, you know what I'm saying? I got outta prison. She opened her home to me. So I was gonna go back to Dublin. But in my mind, I'm like, what I'm gonna do there. You felt like you might

Phil 8:28

get back into trouble with the wrong people?

Shun 8:30

Nah, it wasn't, I won't get back in trouble. I know. Eventually I ain't know how it was going to go. Okay. Yeah. I ain't know how it was going to go. So, like I, she invited you to move into her house? Yeah. Yeah. Now did that and I end up, she, we got married, I got out in July, 2020, uh, 2011. We got married in, uh, September. September the 12th. Got married September the 12th. She got pregnant about in November. So we had a little daughter in July. Wow. Right. So we're married, got a job. Everything was cool. Still in the church.

Phil 9:00

Yeah. Was it? Okay. That's good. Y'all were going

Shun 9:03

to church every week? Well, I was. She wasn't. She was working. Okay. She was still working, you know, so I'm still taking the kids still taking the kids to work, to church with me. I'm still working at the little restaurant, so it wasn't really making no money. So we end up, man, moving out an apartment to a house, you know? It was good. It was good. It was new to me though. It was new, but like I say, when I, if I put my foot in it, I'm gonna do it. Yeah. That's, I'm gonna concrete.

Phil 9:25

So that's the first time you had lived in a house then?

Shun 9:27

Yeah. With a, with a, with a woman. And with a woman and the kids. You got a kids. Yeah. So now I'm, I'm now and I'm married. So they big steps. They are big steps. They big steps. Big, just jumping outta prison, you know? Yeah. You know, the big steps. So I conquered it. I really didn't know the meaning of marriage, I conquered it. We was married I started my business, uh, Pitmans woodwork. I started that building cabinets.

NA 9:48

Wow. And

Shun 9:48

countertop. We even went to college for it. So, uh, yeah, man, that, that was, that was great. She came home, told her she ain't have to work, you know, I took care of everything. My daughter's 15, 13 now

Phil 10:00

these are the ones you had with her?

Shun 10:02

Yeah. Well, you know, the. Yeah. The ones I have will say that. Yeah. Okay. Because you know she had a daughter that was one. Yeah. But she's mine. She looked legit like me.

Phil 10:08

So that's the 15-year-old.

Shun 10:10

That's the 15-year-old 10. And y'all had a baby? I had a baby. That's the 13-year-old baby. She's 13. Okay. Yeah. So you know everything good. Wow. Grew up in the house. Ain't with wasn't no cussing. Still wasn't no cussing. Yeah. I don't cuss to this day. That's good. I don't cuss to this day. And uh, yeah, people don't believe that. They don't believe that. So, uh, everything went good, man. Um, but the whole thing is I didn't really learn emotion to say I'm sorry. So Yeah. And I still kind of didn't learn how to listen that it sounds

Phil 10:39

like pride in your heart.

Shun 10:41

Yeah. Just how you know, my growing up, you know, I ain't never really, that's what I didn't work on. God. You know, that was something I had to do. Yeah. You know, God didn't take that all the way. He just showed me a path to, you know, righteousness, man. You know how. See things in a different way.

Phil 10:55

So that began to cause some problems in your marriage. Yeah,

Shun 10:58

yeah, yeah, yeah. And then like when I told her to come home, you know, she ain't have to work. But, you know, then I, then I, um, I went harder with my business, but then I think I became my own guard because, you know, you be like, man, I pay all these bills. You know, you get the pig head, you know what I'm saying? So that what happen to me. But we, so it got to the point, man, where we separated and, uh, man,

Phil 11:20

I'm sorry to hear that.

Shun 11:21

We separated and, uh, shoot, I, I, you know, I ain't sorry because he taught me.

Phil 11:26

Yeah. But that, that was because you had just, your, God became your business and you, you had that pride. You never didn't wanna apologize for anything. Right. And that just drove a, drove a wedge that finally separated you guys. Yeah. She, real emotional.

Shun 11:38

She need affection. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? I ain't know how to do all that, you know, so that it led to that man. And, um, she left me. I came home one day, everything gone out the house. Wow. You had no idea. Did you know that it was a possibility or? I knew we were fuss before I left, man. But when I came back, she, she, like, she, she, she mean what she say, like, she ain't say nothing, but she was she a good woman?

NA 12:00

Yeah.

Shun 12:01

She always, everybody's like, how, how the, where you get with him, how you calm him down when they used to go back home. So yeah, man, I was a little, he was

Phil 12:08

still a hothead sometimes. I was a

Shun 12:09

tornado. Oh, wow. I was a tornado. And, uh, so, uh, she left me, man, and, and when she left me, man, you know, a lot of things, my eyes open up, right. I start, I put my, I put the shoes on the other foot. So now I start, I'm still with God. He, he, he attacking me. Mm-hmm. No, Satan. Satan trying to still work on my brain. But. I conquered that a little bit. I went to therapy. I had to go to therapy and everything about that. It hurt me because of my daughters. You know, I, I ain't never gonna think I was gonna leave my daughters at least get out the house with my daughter. So Yeah. I thought you my family guy. Yeah. And told you I protect them. That's hard. So, yeah. So, you know, what a 20, 20, 20,

Phil 12:48

did y'all have a, when y'all separated, were you still a big part of the girl's lives? Oh, still am. Oh yeah. That so, so y'all, y'all had a relationship that you would still be able to work together for the kids? So the

Shun 12:58

kids come to the house, she got an apartment. Kids come to the house. I still take 'em to school. Yeah. They even know I was still was a father and the husband even though we separated. Yeah. You see what I'm saying? It just that we was in different houses. Okay. So the girls, they, they, they, they didn't really get no defect of daddy not being there. Yeah. You were still there. Daddy was there. Good. How long of a period of separation

Phil 13:20

was it?

Shun 13:20

Uh, shoot. It was, it was, uh, okay. I. 20. 2020 we got separated, man. Like June, 2020 February, 2021, I had an accident. That's when I lost my foot.

NA 13:33

Oh, what

Shun 13:34

happened? Car wreck. Oh, car wreck. So that this, this the time I lost my foot now. So that's like double. I'm really over the separation. Yeah. Now, you know, I'm, I became an amputee.

Phil 13:46

Wow. I bet. So you was discouraged, depressed, just really struggling. I left my mind. I

Shun 13:51

ain't know who I was.

Phil 13:52

Oh wow. So what happened then? What, what did that do in your life, in your heart and your mind? It changed

Shun 13:57

my whole life. My heart and my brain. It was rough. You see what I'm saying? But the girl, they was, the girls was there. Shoot, man, it, it kinda like they you, in another world. Wow.

Phil 14:09

In another world. And you, what happened to your business at that point? It stopped. We went outta business. Life stopped. Wow.

Shun 14:17

Everything stopped.

Phil 14:18

I'm sure. I'm assuming you don't know

Shun 14:19

now. Now, now. I'm like, man,

Phil 14:21

bill started piling up.

Shun 14:22

Nah, it wasn't really like that because I was on worker's comp. It happened at, at work. Okay. But it know the bills, you know, I couldn't really do nothing as far as move. 'cause I couldn't walk. Like, I broke every bone into my left leg too. Oh. So the, I'm thinking I'm paralyzed when the wreck came. Wow. Because, you know, I ain't couldn't move. So yeah. It was rough, man. Um, I was in the hospital like almost two months and didn't bother me then. But the first day I got out, reality hit. That's the first day I cried about it. Yeah. So, you know that I did that and uh, I ain't like it. You know, that's something I. I'm just now getting to to hold on to it. Took like almost four years, man. But, uh, you know, at first, man, I, I kind of did it by myself too. Yeah. Yeah. I was pushing everybody away 'cause I ain't

Phil 15:06

just being alone at the house

Shun 15:08

by yourself. Yeah. So that, that activated something in my brain too. Hmm. So it was rough. It was rough, but, you know, I, I got through it.

Phil 15:16

So what, um, what began to happen, like during that time, like you still were able to keep the house. Like did, as you went from Yeah. From that point till today. What was, what happened in between those two points?

Shun 15:28

It was dark area. How

NA 15:29

so?

Shun 15:30

I got back on drugs. Oh, alcohol. I had to fake out 'cause you know, it wasn't nobody there, you and then you, it wasn't nobody there. You would think people would be there when, when tragedy come like that. But, you know. Sometimes they don't know how to beat up, so they don't want really nobody there. So I had to turn back to the guy that I know who could, you know, conquer a lot of things. So I had to go back. I had to go dark.

Phil 15:52

I had to dark. So you started taking drugs? Yeah, I had to go. Did you start

Shun 15:56

selling them again or, yeah. That, that was later on though. That was later on. Um, so you started using and then it got, so in other words, I turned back to, to the guy, the guy before, yeah, yeah. But at, but at that time, I knew a lot. I knew a lot, lot more. See what I'm saying? I knew how to see things different, so. Yeah. Yeah. You had to turn dark. I had to turn dark, man. Thank God. You know, it ain't, it ain't go farther than I, you know, it, it

Phil 16:20

coulda went. Yeah. So what did that look like then? You started selling, you started using, you started selling, like you. Were you part of a gang again? And I you stay a part of that. Okay.

Shun 16:30

You just go neutral.

Phil 16:31

Okay. So you just found the Crips that were here in Columbus, I guess. Nah, you just go

Shun 16:35

neutral. Just, you just, you always a part of it. You just don't, you is not affiliated like that. Okay. You know, you don't, you don't gang bang, you just, plus you got plus, you know, um, once your rank get to a certain thing, you know, it can't, you, it is okay, you know, you could fall back. You know what I'm saying? A lot, a lot of 'em don't like it, but you, you know, you'll fall back and, and be all right. Wow. Yeah. But you still can, you still can make moves and you still can, you know. Yeah. Put your foot back in it. But,

Phil 17:05

so you didn't get back into gang banging? Nah. You didn't get back in, you was selling on your own

Shun 17:09

and yeah, yeah. Just, it wasn't even like to be big no more. It was just, just to make a living, just to get your brain. Just to feel normal. Yeah. Just to feel normal, you know what I'm saying? Yeah. Don't nobody listen to you. Everybody be like, you know, they got something to say, but they don't, you don't can't, you don't understand. People don't understand like, what'll happen to your brain when your, when your, when your world just stops in the blink of a eye.

Phil 17:32

Yeah. It's, I mean, it's that kind of trauma and just crushing situation. It just, especially if you're just by yourself, your right, your mind just starts spiraling in your Yeah. You start

Shun 17:43

seeing shadows and everything, man. Wow. Yeah. You, you see, did you

Phil 17:47

push your separated wife and kids farther away at that point? Yeah. Not,

Shun 17:51

not my kids, but yeah. I pushed up farther away thinking everybody had a gender man. You know, they was looking at like, and I'm glad, I'm kind of glad I did that because I, I it made me who I am now. Now I could I'm strong now. See, I think if I had a helping hand that whole time, I probably. I probably wouldn't have made it.

NA 18:07

Yeah.

Shun 18:08

I wouldn't have made it because, you know, I'd have felt like, dang, they don't, you know, they think I need 'em, so they gonna try to treat me any kind of way.

Phil 18:14

Yeah.

Shun 18:15

Stuff like that. So.

Phil 18:16

So what was the fallout then as you started getting into that world again?

Shun 18:20

You, I had the fallout. Well, you know, I went back home, man. We going uh, to Dublin. Yeah. We going, we ain't gonna be too long. Yeah. I went back to Dublin to my family. I thought that was gonna be the best option for me. cause I'm like, damn, I need somebody. So I went back, man, you know, wrong thing. Ah, they wasn't there. They all had an agenda. They wanted money, you know, money thing. Then they go to, cause I ain't been to Dublin, man. I never went back to Dublin. When I got outta prison. I always stayed here. It been a long time. I think they had kinda like a jealousy in me the whole time because I, I got married, started my business. Everything was cool. I wasn't the same guy that they can call on, you know what I'm saying? But they can call on me. But it's the fact that I wasn't agreeing with nothing. They would say if, if they're wrong, you wrong. But as far as back then, you right or wrong, I'm deaf. Yeah. But now when, you know, tell somebody they wrong, they kind of like, they shun you. Wow. Yeah. So, you know, you know, that happened, man. Now. So I went down there, you know, for about, probably about a, a about eight months to a year if that long things got sour. So, um, I was, I was with my mom, so I, I got out of there, you see what I'm saying? I'm staying at hotels. Then I started living in my truck because I ain't wanted to depend on nobody. You see what I'm saying? So I'm like, stay there for a minute. Then I was like, okay, I'm finna come back to Columbus.

19:34

and that is the end of part two of Shuns story. And as you can hear, his life just took another turn down into darkness. He struggled to control his anger and his emotions. He was still a hot head, and that got him into trouble Also that part of his personality that just drove him to focus on what he wanted took over. And when he was married, his focus was too much on his business and not enough on his wife and his marriage, and that ultimately ended up in a collapse of his marriage. So many lessons that we can learn from Huns story that can apply to. Our lives, our marriages, our balance, and It should drive us to analyze what's going on in our lives and maybe consider if there's some things that are out of balance. If there's some things that need more attention and make the adjustments that way we can avoid having some of those tragedies befall us, such as divorce or other things that maybe we could avoid if we would just choose to make those. Choose to make those adjustments that need to be made. I hope you enjoyed part two of Shun story. when Shun gets back to Columbus, he will get connected to Safe House Ministries and he will then be able to get on a path to lasting victory and to stability, to finding a place where he can live on his own and just to really begin to build a better life For the long term. So come back next week. You'll hear how things turn around for good, for shun, and there'll be some more lessons and he may even share some more stories. Come back next week. We look forward to being with you then, and Thank you for being with us this week. God bless you.

06-21-23 SAFEHOUSE-CH2 21:34

We look forward to being with you again next week as we share another testimony about the power and the goodness of God to change lives through Safe House Ministries. if you are someone listening to this podcast that loves to hear these stories of the great things that God is doing in changing people's lives for the better, and if you would like to be a part of that work, please reach out to us You can reach us at 2101 Hamilton Road, Columbus, Georgia, 31,904. You can call us at seven oh six three two two. 3 7, 7 3, or you can email us at info@safehouse-ministries.com.

Microphone (Samson Q2U Microphone)-2 22:10

Thank you so much for being with us this week for the renew restore and rejoice podcast of safe house ministries, we pray that God will bless you this week. And we look forward to having you back with us again next week for a new episode.