The Seven Desires & Understanding Your Triggers w/ Debbie Laaser

Host Tara McCausland interviews Debbie Laaser about understanding and managing triggers after betrayal.  Laaser explains that distress from triggers is shaped by perceptions and encourages slowing down reactive fight-or-flight responses. Using her “seven desires” model (to be heard/understood, affirmed, blessed/loved unconditionally, safe, healthily touched, chosen, and included), she suggests identifying which unmet desires a trigger activates, noting that unmet needs intensify pain and that past experiences influence present reactions. She recommends journaling triggers with guided questions, offloading anger safely, and communicating practical needs rather than reacting. Laaser emphasizes wives are not responsible for husbands’ acting out behaviors, highlights post-traumatic growth, points listeners to seeking God to meet ultimate desires, and advises early professional help, community support, and a three-part recovery approach: his, hers, and eventually couples work after sobriety and truth-telling.

Connect with Debbie at faithfulandtrue.com.

00:00 Welcome and Topic Setup
01:57 Meet Debbie Laser
02:51 Triggers and Trauma
03:42 Why Triggers Hurt
07:14 Perception vs Truth
09:43 Seven Desires Framework
14:02 Restaurant Trigger Example
17:17 How Past Wounds Amplify Triggers
21:00 Working Through Triggers Process
27:36 Safe Anger Release
32:08 Needs and Boundaries
36:13 Daily Growth and God
43:42  Final Advice