Little Moves, Big Careers

Episode 15: What Drives You?: Mind Hacks for Career Climbers

• Caroline Esterson from Inspire Your Genius • Episode 15

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In this episode, Caroline Esterson explores the intricacies of workplace motivation, focusing on how different mental filters and needs shape our behaviours and interactions. By examining theories from nlp, Dan Pink and Tony Robbins, she provides insights into understanding personal and others' motivations, offering practical strategies for navigating workplace dynamics and enhancing career growth.

TAKEAWAYS

  • Understanding different motivations can improve workplace dynamics.
  • NLP meta programs are filters that shape our thinking.
  • Dan Pink identifies purpose, autonomy, and mastery as key motivators.
  • Tony Robbins outlines six human needs that drive behaviour.
  • Recognising filters can help in managing conflicts at work.
  • Framing ideas in a way that resonates with others is crucial.
  • Decoding oneself and others can lead to better collaboration.
  • Balancing motivation diets is essential for career satisfaction.
  • Flexibility in understanding wiring can enhance team effectiveness.

SOUND BITES

"We're decoding this wiring today."
"We all share six human needs."
"Understanding is your key."
 

RESOURCES

What drives you, Quiz?

More on nlp metaprogrammes

A summary of Dan Pink's Drive from RSA Animate

Tony Robbins Blog on the 6 human needs

Connect with Caroline on LinkedIn here

#motivation #danpink #careeradvice #tonyrobbins #nlpmetaprogrammes #highperformance

Ready to make your next bold move? Grab the free Bold Move Audit and join the insider crew.

Stuck, simmering, or onto something juicy? I want to hear it. Drop me a line at caroline@inspireyourgenius.com - I read them all.

Caroline Esterson (00:00)
Let me ask you a question. Have you ever sat at your desk thinking, why am I like this? Why is my boss like that? And why, no matter how hard I try, does it feel like we're pulling in opposite directions? Well, today we're cracking open the code that drives us and the people around us.

to Little Moves Big Careers. I'm Caroline Esterson, your host, and this week's episode was inspired by Paul Dawson in last week's interview. Let's be honest, motivation isn't a nice to have. It's the engine behind everything. When it's firing, you'll take risks, learn faster, and push through setbacks. But you know what? When it's gone,

Even the simplest tasks can feel like climbing Snowden in flip-flops. And here's the tricky bit. Most of us think motivation is about willpower. Try harder, push through. But it's not. It's about wiring. It's about whether your work feeds the needs in your brain that are secretly running. And if it doesn't, well, that's when you stall. That's when you stay too long in jobs that drain you, like Paul did, or clash.

endlessly with colleagues who just don't get it. And today we're going to decode all of this. You'll know your wiring, how to spot the wiring in others, and most importantly how to flex so that friction becomes your fuel. and yes we're also going to decode my husband Bill's obsession with the fridge too. I told you this podcast is very cathartic for me.

So let's warm up with a little game, filter or fiction. I'm going to describe a behavior. You tell me if you think it's a real motivational filter or something I've just made up. I've got five scenarios for you. Are you ready?

Number one, this person needs three case studies before they believe anything.

What do you think? Yeah, that is a real filter. It's the external frame of reference. how about this one? Number two, this person jumps in before you've even finished explaining the problem. Yeah, that's another real filter. It's the proactive filter in their mind. they know exactly what needs to be done.

and just leaves everyone else in their wake.

Number three, this person insists on changing suppliers every year just to keep it fresh. Yep, that's another real filter. It's driven by wiring that craves difference, not sameness.

Number four, this person only focuses on what could go wrong, never what could go right. Yet again, it's another real filter. It's the away from filter. And finally, this person makes all their career decisions based on the alignment with the moon. What do you think? Yeah, you got it. That is fiction. Unless you've worked in certain offices that I could name.

So you see these aren't random quirks. They're called NLP meta programs. They're the filters that shape how we see the world and act at work. And we'll dig into these more in the next section, because if you can spot them in you and others, you'll know how to flex. And the people who flex well, they're the ones who get noticed, trusted, and promoted.

Okay then, it's time to decode. There are three layers of wiring we're going to stack today. Think of them like layers of an onion or a lasagna if you're particularly hungry. There are the filters on top, drivers in the middle and your deep needs at the bottom. So let's peel it back. On the surface are your NLP meta programs. These are your filters, like ones on your phone camera. It's the same picture, but with a different filter.

One makes it bright, one makes it moody, one makes it colour, one makes it black and white. The picture hasn't changed, but the way that you see it has. It's the same with work. The meeting is exactly the same, but two people can walk out with totally different stories. Then the middle layer is Dan Pink's motivators. Purpose, autonomy and mastery. Think of these as your fuel tank.

Purpose is why you care. Autonomy is whether you get a say. A mastery is whether you're growing. If your work doesn't feed at least one of those, you're running off fumes. And finally, Tony Robbins' six human needs. This is the deep wiring. You've got certainty versus variety, significance versus connection, growth versus contribution. They sound a bit contradictory, right?

but actually it's all about balance as we're about to find out. Let me explain in a little more detail. We'll start with the NLP piece. There are lots of filters, but there are five biggies that we see everywhere. And to make this less boring, we're going to play a little game of colleague bingo. I'm going to describe two characters for each filter. Tick them off in your head if you've got one at work. First up, we've got the internal versus external frame of reference.

I call it the decider versus the validator. The decider trusts their gut. They don't need 10 different opinions. This is somebody who's internally referenced. Whereas the validator needs outside references. They ask for the data. They want to know what the experts say. And shout bingo if you've got a colleague who believes something only once it's actually in a McKinsey report.

Next up we have the towards and away from motivator or in layman's language the chaser versus the dodger.

The towards filter chaser is about chasing a goal. Wow, imagine the bonus we get if we hit the target, for example. Whereas the away from Dodger is about avoiding loss. Yeah, but what if we lose that client?

So you've got bingo here if you've ever worked with a colleague who refuses to switch to new software, not because the old one's amazing, but because they're more worried about what might break in the changeover process. Third up, we've got options versus procedures, or the ideas factory versus the rule keeper. The options filter says, ⁓ we could try ABC or even Z.

Whereas the procedures filter says, whoa, hang on a minute, what's the process here? And bingo, if you've got a brainstormer around you who always has post-its in their pockets.

Then we've got the sameness versus difference filter or the tradition keeper versus the rebel. Sameness says we've always done it this way, whereas difference says, ooh, why do we always do it this way? What about? And here you get bingo if you know a rebel who switches suppliers every year just to see what's out there.

And finally, the fifth one is the proactive versus reactive filter, the jumper versus the watcher. The proactive filter jumps in, I'm going to fix it now. Whereas the reactive says, Hmm, let's just see what happens first. And bingo, if you've got somebody in your team who's a jumper and they're already halfway through sorting things out while you're still explaining what the situation actually is.

Did you get a full house? These are your five core NLP meta programs. They're not random habits. They're consistent filters. Once you spot them, you can actually start using them. And here's how. Think about it for yourself first. Notice your default position. Are you mostly towards or away from? Are you more about options or procedures? Once you know it, you can balance it. For example,

If you're all about chasing the new shiny prize, force yourself to take a step back and identify possible risks first. If you're all about thinking what could go wrong, challenge yourself to identify something that you could benefit from or gain. And what about in terms of other people? Well, it gives you a language to start translating.

If your boss is all about procedures, don't sell them 10 wild ideas. That's going to get you nowhere. Give them a neat step-by-step guide. If your colleague is about difference, don't bore them with, we've always done it this way speech. Show them the tweak, the change that you're prepared to adapt. This isn't about changing who you are. It's about understanding and flexing. And those tiny flexes, well, when you do it right,

It turns friction into fuel.

Let's go one layer deeper now and look at Dan Pink's drivers. in his New York Times bestselling book, Drive, Dan explores these filters in much more detail, but fundamentally he talks about three big ones. Firstly, everybody needs purpose. They need to feel that the work that they're doing matters.

On the extreme, this is illustrated by people like campaigners, nurses, or people who run animal rescue centres. Next up, we have autonomy, and this is about having freedom to choose how we do our work. Again, on the extreme, this is the freelancer who'd rather starve than be micromanaged. And then thirdly, mastery, which is all about improvement, getting better at something. And again, on the extreme,

Think about the gamer who levels up, the pianist practicing for hours, or you creating your sourdough starter and watching it ferment for days in the hope you'll finally create that perfect loaf. Or is that just me? If your job doesn't feed at least one of these, your motivation tank runs dry. So have a think about these in terms of you and your work. Are you fueling all three of them?

Which one needs a little bit more of a fire starter underneath it, a little bit more of a flame? Have a think about it and think about how you could do that because it will make the world of difference.

Then we've got the third layer, Tony Robbins, human needs. This is your deep wiring. And we've got three pairs here. Certainty, variety. Dinner at six every day and Friday night is fish and chip night every week versus margaritas on a Tuesday, Wednesday, or whenever the desire just takes hold. Then you've got significance and connection. Significance is about notice me, whereas connection is about include me.

Then the third pair is growth and contribution. Growth is about getting better, that's self-improvement, and contribution is about giving back. And yes, on one level, they're contradictory, but that's the whole point. Too much certainty and you stagnate. Too much variety creates stress-inducing chaos. The trick is to find your balance between these pairs. What is it that's going to fuel you?

Let me bring this home with a real life example from my life. For many months, when Bill first started working away, every Thursday night, he would come home from being away since Monday. And what was the first thing that he did? He went straight to the fridge. Not a hello, not a cuddle with the dogs, straight to the fridge. And what happened next? Yeah, he opened the door and he complained, these yogurts are out of date.

What? We've got no juice? Where's the cheese? It wasn't about food stress. That was his wiring. Bill runs an away from filter, scanning for what's wrong, what's missing. And underneath that sits a massive certainty need. He values stability, predictability and order. So after being away from home for three nights, the fridge wasn't just a fridge, it was his checkpoint.

It was his way of measuring is everything under control? Is home still safe, steady and sorted? It became his ritual for re-entry. For Bill, scanning the fridge was like rebooting his system, whereas me, I would see the same fridge and think, woo, tapas night. I'm running options of variety. Same fridge, two humans, totally different wiring. Neither is wrong. Both have positive intent.

Bill's making sure that we don't get food poisoning. I'm making sure we don't get bored. the trick is to understand the wiring and translate it. So if I know that Bill needs that certainty, I could be a really good partner and stock the fridge carefully before he comes back. But of course, if I'm feeling particularly naughty, I won't do that. And that's the point. It isn't random. It's the same human code.

showing up in different languages, which brings us to the big reveal. If you stack all three filters, drivers and needs, you've got the Rosetta Stone for motivation, same wiring, three languages. Suddenly the boss who blocks your ideas isn't any longer a villain in your eyes, they're just running a procedures and certainty combination. They want to know the steps and clarity.

They need to know that your idea isn't just a brain fart and that you've done your research properly before giving you the green light. So here's the reframe for you. Remember, like we said before, everyone acts from a positive intent, even if sometimes it's badly disguised. Friction isn't a bad thing. If you can understand where it's coming from, you can deal with it. And then that friction becomes your fuel.

Not only does it help you understand yourself and why you respond the way you do, but it will also help you influence others. And there's real power in that.

So for this week's What Would Caro Do? I'm going to share something else that happens in our household. Sorry, Bill, it's another you example. Me or the children will tell Bill something we've learned. It could be about anything at all, a new food combo, a new theory about creativity, for example. He nods politely and we think he's ignored us. But his unconscious brain is processing, so much so that invariably a week later...

He reads about it in the FT or hears about it on a podcast and suddenly it's the best idea ever. It's not that he's ignoring us, he's just processing. That's his external frame of reference and action. Plus, he's got a fairly sturdy convinces strategy. He needs an external validation from a trusted source before he buys in. So, you know, it's easy to get frustrated, isn't it, with things like this? But to be honest at home, it's not such a major deal.

We've got to have a good old giggle about it and sometimes play with him to see how long it is before he brings it up again. Our records are three week wait, not bad, right? But at work, it can be a real bone of contention. So what would I encourage you to do? If I had these types of challenges with my boss, instead of getting wound up, I'd give them the article, I'd show them the case study. This is all about speaking their language.

If you do that, your ideas land and they're reassured. It's a win-win all round.

So let's dig a bit deeper now with actions. Here's your quick fire career moves to work with all of this. One, decode yourself, spot your default filter, then ask which pink driver and Robin's need is it feeding.

For example, if you've got an options filter, you also crave autonomy and variety. Two, decode your boss. Don't guess them. Listen to the words they use. If they talk about risk, routine and detail, then that's being all about procedures and certainty. If they talk about big ideas, goals and change, then that's about them being options, purpose and variety focused. Translate it, don't fight it. Picture your ideas in their language.

If they're procedures, give them steps. If they're options, show them possibilities. Three, balance your motivation diet. If you find you have too much variety and you're feeling overwhelmed, add a dash of certainty where you can. Too much certainty and feel you're getting bored, create some side projects to add a bit of spice. And four, team up with someone who's your opposite.

Your filter plus their filter provides the whole picture, alone and potentially you're biased. Whereas together you could be bulletproof.

So today's career quote crime that needs to be put firmly in the bin is treat others how you want to be treated. Bear in mind everything we've said, isn't that just rubbish? If you're a variety junkie and your boss is a certainty fiend, treating them like you want to be treated will give them a panic attack. Instead, treat people how they're wired to be motivated. That's leadership in action.

So to close off today's episode, here's your words of encouragement. If you've ever been told you're too much or too picky, you aren't. You're just wired with filters, drivers and needs. And that wiring is your edge, but it is also your blind spot. Your real career power comes from flexibility, knowing your wiring, spotting other people's and flexing between them. That's how you stop battling.

You stop taking things personally and start building careers and teams that actually work. So this week, play detective, spot the filters, name the drivers and feed those needs. And remember, your wiring isn't the enemy, it's the code. And now you've got the decoder ring.

Okay, so that's it for today. Please don't just nod along, make a move, even if it's tiny.

especially if it's tiny. That's where careers change. And to help you, we've made two little treats this week, the Career Decoder Playbook and your cheeky quiz to find your filter. Both are linked in the show notes. Grab them, have a play and see what lights up for you. And if this episode gave you an aha moment, please share it with a mate, subscribe or drop us a quick rating. It helps more people get out of career autopilot,

and join us in making bold little moves. So go on, tiny step, big career, you've got this.


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Caroline Esterson

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